Chelsea, May 11, 2020

There is a swelling storm
And I'm caught up in the middle of it all
And it takes control
Of the person that I thought I was
The boy I used to know

But there is a light
In the dark, and I feel its warmth
In my hands and my heart
Why can't I hold on?

When Sirius entered their rehearsal studio on Monday morning, it was with a spring in his step and a smile on his lips. He was the first to arrive, and after tuning Fawkes (yes, he was aware of the terrible pun, but it was just the story of his life, wasn't it?), he ambled about; tidying up and cleaning various equipment. Last night had gone better than he could have ever hoped for. Remus's friends had been so nice and welcoming—even his fears about Marlene had been put at ease—and Remus himself? Still attractive as fuck and no annoying habits detected so far. Sure, it had been nerve-wracking as all hell, and there were moments when he had felt too exposed and seriously considered running, but he had stayed. However terrifying and unfamiliar, being able to flirt with another man—with Remus—in front of other people, none of whom had treated it like it was anything out of the ordinary, had been unexpectedly freeing. In fact, the whole evening had been so bloody normal, it was kind of dizzying. Normal wasn't exactly a big part of his everyday life. Of course, he usually preferred it not to be, had spent the majority of his life ensuring it never would be, but goddammit if he didn't need it—just once in a while. Something had burned in the back of his mind since he left the flat last night—a fickle glimmer of something just out of his reach: what if he could have this? Not just once in a while, but every day? It wasn't a wholly happy thought, because it would never be possible, but the thrill of kissing Remus goodbye and the anticipation of seeing him again took up far more space in his body right now, so he refused to be bogged down by hopeless what-ifs. He hadn't felt this good in years, and he was going to ride this wave for however long it could sustain itself.

His cheerful whistling was interrupted by James arriving, setting his guitar case down. "Someone's in a good mood this morning, eh?"

"Good morning, Prongsie! Why shouldn't I be? Sun is shining, birds are singing, and there are no more coffee rings on your amps, you filthy animal," Sirius said and threw his wet rag at James.

James caught it expertly and grinned. "What did you get up to last night, hmm?" He wagged his eyebrows and threw the rag over his shoulder. "Had a hot date perchance?"

Sirius turned his back, rolling up some cables so James wouldn't see his smile. "Maybe I did."

"Ha, I knew it!" James said, snapping his fingers. "I knew when I saw your face after you got that text! What did you and Remus get up to?"

"Who said it was Remus?" Sirius asked innocently.

"Please," James said with an excessive amount of air. "No one has to. He's the only one who could have put that look on your face."

"What look?" Sirius said, turning around and pulling a grimace.

"That dreamy, sappy look you had all over your mug when I arrived," James teased and drew a circle over his face for emphasis.

"Did not." Sirius scoffed, hanging the now rolled-up cable on a nail in the wall.

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Whatever." James waved him off. "But seriously, what did you get up to? Did you give him a proper guitar lesson? Teach him how to strum the D?" More eyebrow-wagging.

"For fuck's sake, Prongs," Sirius said, chucking a capo at his friend's overly smug face.

James deflected it with his hand and went on, "Show him why they call you the King of Downstrokes? Got in a few good licks? Perhaps even some behind-the-nut play?" He guffawed and ducked as a whammy bar came flying.

"I swear you're worse than the twins sometimes!" Sirius said, tossing up his hands, since he had regretfully run out of stuff to throw.

"I'll take that as a compliment." James dusted off his shoulders.

"I assure you, it's not."

"Come on! You've got to give me something here!"

"Nope. You blew your chance when you chose to scrape the bottom of the stale-guitar-pun-barrel instead of asking nicely." Sirius huffed and began rearranging his pedal board.

James inhaled deeply and adopted a sombre expression. "I'm sorry, mate, okay? Will you please tell me about your date?" But the twitch in the corner of his lips betrayed the effort that keeping a straight face cost him.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it was all very PG," Sirius said, reattaching the power cable to his signature Cry Baby. "I just had curry and played games with him and his friends, and then I went home."

"What? Like not even any snogging?" James said, sounding extremely disappointed.

"That's not what I said." Sirius winked and flicked on his amps.

"Nice." James grinned. "Wait—you said his friends…. Was Lily there?"

"Yes, they live together, remember?" Sirius said, raising an eyebrow.

"She didn't happen to, ah… mention me—did she?" James said, trying (and failing) to sound casual.

"Not even to curse your name, mate." Sirius clapped his shoulder sympathetically on his way to the mixer.


A/N: Very short chapter, but I wanted to get Sirius's thoughts on the date, and of course I got caught up in the J&S banter 3 And it seems James hasn't forgotten about Lily...? ? BUT - to make up for the short chapter, you get two chapters at once, so go read the next one! :) It's another little glimpse into the past.

Lyric credits:
Dean Lewis - Waves