AN: So, bit of warning for this chapter. Ana is not in a good place, mentally, and has a very vivd nightmare about what might have happened if she had been kidnapped. Read with caution.


Nightmares can come at you at any time, even after a wonderful day. Once your eyes close, every harsh word, every mean spirited comment, it will come and circle around your mind. No matter what words of praise you've been given, they fade to nothing in the dark. I knew that I was in a nightmare when I found myself staring at Evan Perry behind his desk, smiling and leaning back in his chair. I knew it was not real, that it was merely my mind conjuring up what could have happened. I knew that I was asleep in my own bed, with Will by my side, and that I would wake up there. I dug my fingers into my palm, willing myself to wake up.

But there was nothing I could do.

Perry hardly seemed to notice, it seemed he could hardly contain his glee. "You are to be polite, acquiescing, gentle and refined. You are to allow our friend anything he desires, you are not to balk or scream or cry. For every time you do, that will be another day I will keep you here. And you would not be my honored guest then, you would have to earn your keep. Unless you truly displease him, in which case I may just have my men throw you on your doorstep, after letting every patron have their go at you. They can get quite vicious when offered something for free." His hand was tight as he reached across, gripped my chin and forced my gaze up. "So don't displease him, darling, for you will not enjoy anything that comes after if you do."

He chuckled. "You know, I once told Henry that I thought you could earn me a thousand a night." He pinched my cheeks, smiling widely. "If you don't do as your told, we'll see if I'm right." He gave my cheek a pat. "And remember, Miss Dalian, if you displease me or my guest, I'll send my men to your house. It would be a shame for your servants, and that damn dog, to suffer because of you."

It took everything I had to look him in the eye. "I understand, Mr. Perry. I will do my best."

"Good," He rose, moving to a door behind his desk and opening it. A girl stepped in, dressed in her underclothes and looking to him. He gestured to me. "Get her washed and dressed, and do something with her hair."

"Of course, sir." She nodded, then looked to me. "If you will follow me?" Fortunately she didn't lead me through the front, I had seen enough of the debauchery that was awaiting me when I had been brought in. Instead we took a servant's staircase, winding around the back of the place until we emerged into a well appointed room. It was large, with windows looking out over the lights of Coney Island. It was a far cry from what I assumed the rest of the place looked like, with dark cherry wood floors, red silk on the walls and finely carved furniture. The main focus, though, was the bed. It was massive, with ruby silk hangings and blankets.

Every bit of red only made me surer about who I was being cleaned up for.

"There's a bathtub in here," The girl moved to a bathroom attached to the main room. "I'll help you wash." Unlike Louise, who commonly kept up a stream of conversation as she helped me change, this girl was quiet as she stripped me and put my clothes aside. The water smelled cloyingly of roses, and was hot enough to make my skin flush. I had just closed my eyes when she came back, grabbing a cloth and rubbing it against my back. "I know you're not here by choice, Miss, but it really won't be so bad."

I snorted. "How can you say that? Were you kidnapped and brought to please some awful man?"

"No, I came here on my own." She sighed, "The first time is always the worst, but they're usually quick. Just make a lot of noise, writhe around and breathe loudly, they usually feel quite pleased with themselves if you do that."

"So comforting." I groused as I dunked my head under the water. I briefly considered staying under, letting myself drown, but I knew the girl wouldn't let me. I brushed the water from my eyes when I came back up. "What's your name anyway?"

"Wendy." She handed me a bar of soap. "Please, wash everywhere. Even if you don't think you need to." She at least looked away as I scrubbed every inch of skin with the soap, and helped me into a towel when I got out. She didn't talk much as she rubbed rose scented oil into my skin, and combed it through my hair before rubbing it dry with a number of towels. The dressing gown I was given was so flimsy it was almost unworthy of the name. I could see my skin through it as she dressed my hair in front of a vanity. "Your hair is a lovely color, Miss. You'll be quite fetching in the gown Mr. Perry arranged for you to have tonight."

"Wonderful." I could barely watch as she expertly twisted and teased my hair into the latest swept up style. Then it was into the dress, a tight cut red silk that clung to every curve. When I mentioned that I needed to put on my drawers, Wendy shook her head. They wouldn't be needed tonight she said, and them my corset was pulled tight. It was a marvel that the dress got buttoned at all, and Wendy had me sit again as she placed several curled ostrich plumes in my hair. She practically attacked me with creams and powders, rouges and mascara, and by the time she was finished I could barely recognize myself.

When she clasped the golden peacock around my throat it felt like an iron collar being locked around me.

The gold bracelets with their red stones may as well have been shackles.

"Mr. Perry wants me to stay until he comes up." Wendy said, sitting on the bed. "In case you try to do anything."

I sighed, closing my eyes. "I'm not."

"It shouldn't be too long."

"Then perhaps it will be over with quickly." I looked at her through the mirror. "Should I just lift my skirts as soon as they come in then?"

"Mr. Perry wouldn't like that, he'll want you to charm his guest, drink and laugh with him." Wendy crossed her legs, swinging them back and forth. "Make them feel smart, like he's the greatest man you've ever met. At least them they're usually not too harsh when you have to bed them."

"You're just full of advice."

"I've had a lot of practice, Miss." She looked to the door, footsteps stopping. "I'm headed down, you should greet them." She disappeared back down the servant's stairway, leaving me alone. I drew myself up, I could do this. I just had to get through this, and then I could go home.

The door opened silently, and I could hear Mr. Perry. "And just you wait, Henry, I've got you the best gift you're going to get this year."

"So long as she's pretty." The chuckle that Mr. Reichster gave sent shivers down my spine.

"Beautiful, and new. Come on out, my dear."

My hands were shaking, I couldn't stop them. I clasped them together, stepping out of the bathroom. "Hello, Henry."

He looked as if he'd been struck in the face. "Anastasia?"

Mr. Perry raised his eyebrows as he looked to me. I smiled, stepping forward to Henry. "Yes, I wanted to make sure you have the happiest of birthdays." I steeled myself to kiss him, to flick my tongue against his lips. "Mr. Perry was kind enough to assist me with it."

"Evan, my God." Henry quickly crushed me to him, his arms tight around my waist as he swept his tongue into my mouth. I tried to sigh into it, to press myself against every inch of him. My head was swimming by the time he pulled away, looking to the other man. "This is quite the gift."

"She's your's for as long as you want." He stepped back from the door, clearing the way to allow a number of staff to come in and begin to set the table. Plate after plate of food was brought, ice buckets with bottles of champagne, and fine linens to spread over the table. Mr. Perry sat, "Anastasia, wouldn't you like to serve us?"

"I'd like nothing more." I murmured, bowing my head and beginning to serve the seated pair. They hardly paid any attention to me as they ate, although Henry did slide his arm around my waist and pull me down into his lap. He still focused on Mr. Perry though, only occasionally giving me a squeeze or a pinch. I stayed quiet as they finished, not even wanting any of the delicious food that they had left behind.

Mr. Perry adjusted his lapels as he stood, "Care for a few rounds of cards downstairs while this is cleaned up?"

"Sounds pleasant." Henry grunted as he stood, dislodging me briefly before recapturing my waist. I kept a smile plastered on my face as we moved downstairs, listening to the screams of laughter that echoed upward. It was better than listening to the moans that were coming from the rooms we passed. The gambling den downstairs was brightly lit, and every man had at least one woman hanging off of him as he placed his bets. Some even had two, and one of them seemed to enjoy making the two ladies kiss each other as he watched. I must have been staring, for Mr. Reichster tugged at me. "Interested in one of them?"

"No, only you." I simpered, the lie falling sweetly from my lips.

"And if I were to bet a round with you on a roll of the dice?"

My heart leapt, and I forced it back down. "If it would please you, then I would be glad."

"Heh," He snorted as he sat at a table, watching as the dealer dealt out the hands for blackjack. "Perry must have done a number on you."

"Not at all." I draped my arms around him as I stood behind his chair. "As I said, I only want you to get everything you desire tonight. I only want to please you, in every way." He shook his head at that, but began paying more attention to his hand. He had lost quite a bit by the time he stood, a whiskey in his hand as he moved us to another room. A woman was up on a table, singing quite loudly about how she had left her husband because he was lacking in something. The song listed everything he had; a massive house, a fortune in the bank, fine jewels and gowns for her, until reaching the end where she belted out about how her husband lacked the size to please her.

Henry roared with laughter at the end, claiming a table and pulling me into his lap as she began another song. I tried to focus on the words of her bawdy songs, not the way that Henry seemed to take every chance to slip his hand down my bodice. I shivered when he began to knead my thigh, although I did my best to make it appear as if I found it pleasing. After a few songs he leaned close to whisper to me, "Let's head on upstairs, my dear sweet Anastasia. I want to taste you." I nodded, standing and hoping that my knees wouldn't give out as we began to climb.

I could practically feel Henry on the stairs behind me, following me into the room. The food from before had been cleared away, replaced with a cut crystal bottle of bourbon, a silver ice bowl and tongs, and two glasses. An open humidor displayed a number of fine cigars, matches nearby. He closed the door behind him, the lock thudding home. "Pour two glasses, ice in mine." He groaned as he sat down in a chair, "And a cigar, bring the matches." I tried not to let the tongs clink against the glass, a difficult task considering the way my hands were shaking. He'd had wine and song tonight, it was obvious what would come next.

The woman.

Me.

"Of course, Henry." I replied, pasting a smile on my face as I turned around with what he had requested. He gazed at me as he took the glass, giving it a sip before setting it aside and taking the cigar. He waited for a moment with it in his mouth, and I took the cue to strike a match and let it flame against the end. He puffed on it as I shook the match out, tossing it in a wastebasket. I turned, looking for another chair before I heard him snort. He patted his knees, and I sat across them. I took a solid drink, curling my arm around his neck and giving him a nice view down the front of the dress. "Have I pleased you tonight?"

His breath emerged in a chuckle. "You can stop with the act now, I know you're not here by choice." He pulled the necklace roughly from me, throwing it across the room. "It's Perry's way, to cover everything in paint and paste." At that he threw his handkerchief at me, "Wipe all of that off." His hands grabbed the back of my dress as I mopped my face, tearing it between them and sending the buttons scattering across the floor. I let the handkerchief, stained red and white, follow them. The sleeves were roughly shoved down my shoulders, and his hand under my rear made me stand as he pulled the rest of the red silk off. I tried not to tremble as he removed everything else, leaving me standing in nothing but my hair and a fake smile. He collapsed back into his chair, grinning as he took a drag of the cigar. "Perry doesn't realize that the last thing a true lady, like you, should be is covered up." His fingers slipped around my waist, pulling me back to his lap. One hand toyed with a breast as he looked at me. "What has he threatened you with, if you displease me?"

I closed my eyes, only opening them when he pinched my nipple. "That he would either whore me out or give me freely to every patron. One day for each infraction."

"I'd believe it." He tapped the cigar ash into a tray. "He offered me one of his girls that had stood up to him once. Free, of course, although I did not partake. He'd tied her legs open, one to each bedpost, and her arms above her head. She hardly saw me when he brought me in." I felt my heart drop, and he set the cigar down to fully grab my waist and tug me flush to him. "I'd hate to see you like that."

"I only want to please you." I muttered, resisting the urge to pull my hair forward to cover myself.

His hands began to move my hips against him. "What you should take from that story, Anastasia, is that I won't fuck a piece of unresponsive flesh." He groaned, his head falling back. I kept at it, my hands on his shoulders as I writhed against him. His eyes were almost slits as he looked at me. "I'm not stupid enough to think you're willingly doing this. But you will be responsive, when I fuck you. You will move with me." He surged up out of the chair, and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked us towards the bed. He dropped me onto it, "You will happily remove my clothing, eagerly welcome me into you, and cry out my name the entire night." My fingers were already tugging his shirt open, dropping to his trousers next. I felt his fingers tangle in my hair then, pulling my head back to look up at him. "Please me and I will see that Perry lets you go. But this will not be the end of it. Marry that sailor if you still want, if he'll still have you, but at least once every few weeks you will be back here." I tried to keep my mind blank as I pulled his trousers down, scrambling back onto the pillows as he kicked them off and followed me. He didn't even reach down to touch me before roughly shoving my legs apart and thrusting himself home. I bit back a cry at the pain as he dropped his mouth down by my ear. "Because you are mine, now, move girl. Don't displease me."

I tried, I truly did.

I clasped his shoulders, I surged my hips against his. I kept my eyes open so he wouldn't think that I was trying to replace him with Will in my mind's eye. I cried out his name, doing my best to make myself come, squeezing tightly around him. He was ruthless, and I allowed him to be. Allowed him to twist my legs and my body however he wanted, whatever way he desired. When he finally collapsed onto me, the sweat on our bodies sticking together, he traced his finger over my cheek. "You pleased me, very much."

"I'm so glad." I muttered, wishing he could get off of me.

"I'll tell Perry to see you home." He seemed to settle further onto me. "Although I will allow him a time with you." He must have felt me stiffen under him, for he pulled back. "You want to please me, right? It would please me to share you with him, to thank him for a lovely gift."

"Of course," I felt tears in my eyes. "You are such a kind man."


I woke up screaming.

Will woke with a start, his arm around my waist. "Ana, bloody hell!" I couldn't even speak, and I actually cringed away from his touch. It felt like I couldn't breathe, as if steel bands were around my chest and tightening with every breath. I felt Will shift, "What is it?" But I couldn't speak, could only sob with relief that it had only been a dream as much as fear that my fate was almost that.

When Will touched my shoulder, I flinched. "Shhhh, it's alright love." I tried to focus on his voice as he continued to soothe me, not touching me after my reaction to him. "It was just a dream. I know, they're getting bad again. It's that way for me too." He sighed, "I don't think we'll every be free of them, free of that night." When he reached for me this time I didn't pull away. "But we'll see our way through them together?" He ran his hand up and down my arm, and I rolled toward him. I couldn't answer as I buried my head in his chest, trying to comfort myself with his smell, his touch, his very presence. "Of course we will, just forget it all. It was nothing but a dream." I didn't have to heart to tell him I hadn't been dreaming of the sinking, that what had been crawling through my mind was all my worst fears stirred up by the trial.

"Will, please." I muttered, my voice hoarse from crying. "I don't want to wait anymore."

His arms tightened. "Wait for what?"

"Sex." I shifted up to look him in the face. "I want you to take me, now. Tonight."

"Ana, don't be ridiculous. It's so close to the wedding."

"Which means that even if you get me pregnant I won't show." He had laid back on the bed, and I quickly straddled him. "Or we can use the French Letter. But God, Will, I just want it to be done. I'm so tired of everyone saying that I don't have any morals, that I'm fucking every man I meet." I laid across his chest, kissing him briefly. "The only man I want to fuck is you."

He groaned as I began to unbutton his pajamas. "Ana, you don't know what you're doing."

"I do Will, and I want this." I shifted as I felt him begin to press against me. "And it seems like you do too."

"You don't know how much I want you." He actually pulled his pajama shirt off himself. "I've wanted you as long as I've known you. But why now? It's only a couple more months."

"Then why wait?" I tugged at my nightgown, freeing my arms and letting it drop to my waist. "Why wait for another one of Reichster's friends to try something? Why wait for another shipwreck? Why don't we just get it over with?"

Will ran his hands up my waist, brushing his thumbs over my nipples. "Ana, God. I can't-"

"And I can't wait any longer." I leaned over him. "Do you want me to get the French Letter?"

He collapsed back against the pillows, his eyes dark. His lips quivered for a moment, "Go get-" Will cut himself off as my bedroom door suddenly burst open, the lights blaring to life and blinding the both of us for a moment.

"Miss Anastasia, my God!" I heard Peggy screech, "Cover yourself! Mr. Murdoch, how could you?"

"Peggy," I struggled back into my nightgown. "It's not what it looks like."

"I know exactly what it is!" She surged into the room, her dressing gown barely covering her nightgown and her bare feet slapping on the floor. "And here I came because I heard you'd been crying and screaming, and to see him ready to oh," She actually stamped her foot at that. "I will not have it! Not for another night! Mr. Murdoch, back to your room. Now!"

"Peggy." I got up from the bed, moving to her. "It wasn't Will who pushed for this, it was me."

"I don't care!" She grabbed my shoulders, turning me away from Will who was still getting his pajamas back on. "I knew you two were doing things, kissing and the like, but I never thought to hear the two of you giving such serious thought to-" She shook her head. "And with the wedding so soon, I shall have to treat you like two schoolchildren until then."

"Why?" I turned back to Will, currently pulling on his robe and slippers. "Why can't I bed him Peggy? I want to, I should be allowed to!" I had just moved to him when her words cut across the distance.

"Do you want me to get your mother?" Peggy's voice was ice. "So you can tell her all of this?" I clamped my mouth shut, giving her a moment to turn to Will. "Go to your room, I will deal with you in turn."

"Peggy, really-"

"Go now Mr. Murdoch before I make you have to find a hotel room." Peggy didn't see the pained look that Will sent me as he walked out, she was too focused on glaring at me. "I heard you two, and I'm not a fool Miss. Wherever did you get a French Letter?"

I sat on the bed, whatever courage I had gone. "Will got it as a joke, we never intended to use it." I couldn't even look her in the eye. "Not until tonight." I felt a lump in my throat. "I just wanted to, and after everything," I could feel the sob come out, "Peggy, you don't know how hard it's been."

"Oh, I don't?" She was standing over me, "You're practically a daughter to me, Miss. You think it doesn't hurt to hear the things that people say? To read the papers every day and see the lies about you?" I was crying by now, and I felt the bed sink as she sat next to me. "But I knew you were better than what they said, and then to see you almost proving them true." She pulled me to her, rocking me like I was a child. "You've broken my heart, Anastasia."

I blubbered against her breast. "I'm sorry, Peggy. I just, I just wanted to forget it all."

"Losing yourself in lust isn't the way to do it. You and Mr. Murdoch will keep to separate rooms until the wedding, I'll speak to him after."

"Don't be too hard on him," I rubbed at my nose. "It was all me."

"He should be man enough to own up to his mistakes, and he will have to deal with me. Now, am I going to have to lock your door?"

"No, no. I'll stay." I shook my head as she got up. "I don't want to displease you, or Mother. That's the last thing I want."