Oscar gave up his plans for a large party after a few days, it was more than apparent that while he wanted to celebrate he could tell it wasn't a good time for it. Ezekiel had already been called back to work and Mother had returned to Fifth Avenue, she had found me in the office and had spent ten minutes looking at the portrait of all of us behind the desk. I had watched as she had traced Father's cheek on the canvas, her eyes shining. I had swallowed my pride, "Mother, why don't you head back? Oscar, Liz and James will be staying. I'll be fine, and you've been working yourself to the bone." I had stood, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. "You can come back over when it's time for the wedding portrait."
That had seemed to shake her out of it. "Nonsense, you'll be coming to me. I've already arranged with Mr. Hunt to have the dress delivered there, and you'll need to send over Will's uniform before then." She seemed glad to have a distraction. "But I should be getting back, I can start to plan for some flower arrangements for the portrait." But then she had looked over, raising an eyebrow. "If you're sure, that it."
I had hugged her. "Of course, go get some rest." She had pressed a kiss to the side of my head, collected her trunks and left for her own house. I had sat back down at the desk, but the reports from Mr. Keller hardly seemed to stick in my mind. Eventually I had given up on reading them, on sitting beneath the portrait where we had all been so happy. Instead I had fled to the library, hoping to find something to distract me. Even that was of little use, though, for all I could think about was what was coming.
The first day of the anniversary found Will, James and I being whirled around a department store by Liz and Oscar. They had apparently decided that it was their duty to keep us from thinking about last year, and Oscar was currently piling hat after hat in front of Will and James. He held up a black silk top hat, collapsing the crown down to make it almost flat and letting it spring back up. "It would be perfect for you Will, very easy to store and wear when you and Anastasia head out for your honeymoon."
I could see Will was trying to be positive. "Yes, I can see the advantage of it."
"And for you as well, Mr. Moody."
"I'm afraid I cannot afford something like that." James shrugged. "Nor could I ask you to purchase it for me."
Oscar snorted. "You don't need to ask me, I've already arranged for one to be sent to the house. Liz wants to take you out to the theater tomorrow, you need to dress the part."
James sighed, his shoulders falling. "I'm afraid that I would just embarrass her, I haven't got the clothes to be by her side."
"Then it's a good thing we're here." Oscar came over, hustling the younger man to follow him. "Now, come along. And I don't want to hear any nonsense about not letting me buy a suit for you." I gave a small smile as I watched the two of them head off towards a salesman and a tailor that had obviously been told to wait for them. I was just about to ask Will what he thought of a gray bowler when Liz burst out from a display of coats.
She briefly considered them before turning to me. "There you are, I have found the most marvelous dress. I was thinking it would be perfect for your honeymoon." I didn't even have a chance to agree before she had my arm and was dragging me back to the ladies area. It was full of ladies browsing the latest for the spring season, full of pastels and light fabrics, but what Liz pulled me towards was dark.
"Oh, my." I murmured, taking in the sight of the dark blue dress, almost insubstantial gauze draped over silk. The gauze almost formed a second skirt over the actual skirt, all of it edged in gold embroidery and edged with shining beads. I was almost afraid to touch it, it seemed so delicate that I worried I would tear it. I barely spared a glance to Liz, greedily watching my reaction from beside me. "This is incredible."
"Isn't it? I thought it make the most marvelous dress for your reception." Liz had no compunctions about reaching over and letting the organza flow through her fingers as she lifted it. "It would suit your sapphires."
"It would." I traced my fingers over the gold embroidery. "But Mother is insisting that I wear the wedding dress for the reception."
Liz rolled her eyes. "Anastasia, really, don't deny yourself this. It suits you perfectly!" She stepped back, considering the dress for a moment. "I have an idea!" She stepped forward, her voice as whisper as she smiled. "You and Will are going to be expected to throw a party sometime after you come back, why not make it a costume party? You've always had fun with those, and this would be perfect for you to be some kind of sea nymph."
My mind latched onto that. "It would work."
"With your sapphires, and some pearls in your hair." Her voice dropped even more, now simply a breath. "You're going to be married, your husband might not even let you out of the bedroom once he sees you in it."
I felt my cheeks flush. "Liz, my God."
"I'm only stating the truth." Liz smiled, waving over a salesman. "Please package this up!" She quickly gave him the address and he whisked the gown away. She took my elbow, drawing me on. "Now, you are going to be getting gloves, fans and whatever else you're going to need for your honeymoon." Her lips twisted up again. "Perhaps something to entice Will even more."
"I hardly think I need help with that." I mumbled, but I allowed her to pull me further into the lingerie department. Some of the items were so revealing that I flushed just looking at them. As soon as Liz mentioned that I was a soon to be bride we were swarmed by shop girls, and soon enough an entire bridal trousseau had been assembled and sent back to the house. It appeared the Will and James hadn't been spared by Oscar, for Will looked extremely exhausted and growled something about not needing everything that Oscar had insisted on purchasing for him.
Back at the house, he followed me up to my rooms to commiserate on it. "Ana, he bought me an entire dinner suit! The coat has tails almost a foot long, really, can't we stop him?"
"Oscar has never been one to be stingy with his gifts." I shook my head, opening the door to my sitting room. A small fire was lit, refreshments laid out. Will left the door open behind him as he came in, sitting beside me on the settee. I moved a bit closer to him "So unfortunately, we're just going to have to deal with it."
"He's planning on Sherry's for dinner." Will shook his head, looking over when Louise bustled into the room with her hands full of dress boxes and packages. She quickly bobbed a curtsey, heading for the dressing room. He sighed, "You too?"
"Liz insisted." I shrugged, "Those two are incredibly stubborn."
Will was just about to say something when Louise came back through, her voice light. "I left a package for you to put away, Miss Dalian. The items for your trousseau? I thought you would prefer to deal with those." Remembering some of the scandalous things that Liz had thrown into my purchases, I felt myself blush a bit as I thanked her.
I looked to Will. "Would you mind if I dealt with that?"
"I wouldn't mind if you chose to model some of it for me." Will chuckled, but pressed a kiss to my cheek. "Go deal with it, I'll sit here in the quiet. It is rather nice." I gave his hand a squeeze as I stood, moving into the bedroom. Louise had left a number of packages on the bed, everything inside folded and stored in tissue paper. I turned to my hope chest, that old battered sea chest that Peggy had thrown a shawl over to disguise it. I fiddled with the broken lock for a moment, throwing open the lid as I knelt down in front of it.
A number of newspapers had been piled inside, some full pages and some just clippings. I could feel my hands shake slightly as I reached for one on top, a picture of Will and the other officers as they entered the hotel for the inquiry. I could see myself, draped in black crepe, beside them. I tried to stop the shaking in my hands as I set it aside, tried to ignore the article that praised the Reichsters and damned Will and I. I must have made some noise though, once I had removed all of them and seen the folded blue taffeta gown beneath. I heard Will call from the sitting room, "Ana, what is it?"
I shook my head, pulling the gown out. The ivory chiffon underskirt was stained, although the salt was gone from it. Will's footsteps sounded behind me as I drew out two fur coats, a mink stole, the fur slightly matted. I started to brush my fingers through it, straightening the hair. I could hear Will settle down onto the floor as I set it aside, pulling a rough canvas and cork life belt from the chest. I could still see my writing on it, and I brushed my fingers over the letters. "I wanted to see what was already in my trousseau, but I forgot..."
Will considered it for a moment, then reached past me and pulled out a matchbook and a message. He unfolded the paper, smiling down at it wistfully. "It wasn't all bad." He set it down, resting his hands on his knees. "I was so exhausted that night, but I wanted to see you more than I wanted to sleep. That was a good night."
"Yes, it was." I reached over and covered his hand with mine, "But with everything, it's been almost a year-"
"Since that night, I'm well aware." His voice was hard. "I'm going to be aware of that day every year of my life."
"I don't want to remember it." I buried my head against his shoulder. "But it keeps coming back. I just want to go forward, but every article about the case mentioned it and it's just eating away at me."
"I know." Will pulled me closer, putting an arm around me. "And the case didn't help."
"No, it didn't." I sighed against him. "I can see it wearing on James too."
"At least we're all together, I'd hate to go through this on my own."
I shook my head, "I'm going to try and get my hands on some brandy before Peggy catches on."
"I've already hidden a bottle of whiskey in my rooms." Will chuckled, but his voice grew bitter. "I've had need of it recently."
"I'm sorry." I squeezed his arm. "You could send someone to wake me up, I'd sit up with you."
"It's alright." He shook his head. "You don't need to deal with me when I'm like that, it always fades by the morning." I buried myself against him, hoping to offer him comfort through my presence even if my words couldn't help. The way he ran his fingers over my arm though spoke to what he wanted. I pressed a kiss to his cheek, wrapping my arms around him and squeezing him to me tightly. He returned it, and I couldn't tell how long we had been on the floor before we stood and slowly packed away everything that we had pulled out.
My smile was a bit tight when Louise came back in, sending Will out as she helped me change for dinner. James had been shoved into a suit that was far too well tailored to have just been bought for him today, and Will's coat tails did indeed stretch far beyond what he was used to. I did like the swallowtail design though, and I noted his eyes on me as I stepped down in a powder blue chiffon gown, a darker blue sash pulling it in tight around my waist. I waited until we were all ensconced in the car, Oscar far too concerned with keeping an eye on Liz and James to listen to me. I whispered to Will, "You don't want to know how tight Louise had to lace me for this."
"Vain." Will pinched my arm, lightly and set to rubbing the slightly red mark between my sleeve and my glove. "A vain temptress I've decided to chain myself to."
"Your coat suits you very well." I brought my other hand over to drape my fingers against his. "As does the tie clip." I had noticed his Christmas gift against the black tie he was wearing, eschewing the bow tie that formal dress so often demanded. It suited Will better, the high collar not hidden by the long tie. Will didn't reply, but he threaded his fingers through mine.
Dinner at Sherry's was enough to almost make me sick. Hot soup, salad, steaks and an entire lobster for each of us. I thought I could barely eat a single morsel, let alone all of the meat on the bright red crustacean that a waiter was currently disassembling for me. The scene was repeated in front of each of us, James's eyes wide as he watched the sweet meat piled onto his plate. I voiced my concerns, drawing a good natured laugh from the rest of the table. Oscar grinned, "I think you'll manage just fine, besides, there's chocolate cake for dessert."
Liz leaned over from her chair, smiling as she whispered. "You could always ask Will to loosen your corset for you, I'll distract Oscar if you two need to slip away."
"That's alright." I shook my head, looking across the table as Will could barely seem to keep his eye open as his lobster was served. Oscar had insisted on proper seating, with all the men on one side and the ladies on the other. Will and I had shared a look as he had helped me into my seat, it was more than apparent that Oscar wanted to keep James on his toes and not thinking about sitting beside Liz. What Oscar hadn't noticed was the way Liz would position herself to provide a pleasant view of the front of her dress to James, or the way her leg would sometimes slink across to tease him. I had only noticed when my napkin had fallen and had seen it when I leaned down to retrieve it.
Unfortunately I was not able to whisper something to Will with him across from me.
I tried to settle for sly glances, a raised eyebrow and a tilt of my head towards Liz as I started on my lobster. I could see Will's brow furrow, confusion plain on his features. I shook my head, I'd tell him later. By the time chocolate cakes were brought around, I thought that I would die of overeating. But I plowed my way through, a small bite here, a sip of cordial there, and soon enough my plate was clean and my glass was empty.
I could smell the whiskey on Will when he helped me up out of my chair, it was rather comforting. I burrowed into him as we collected our coats and bundled ourselves back into the car. I was full, he was warm and his arm was around me, I couldn't help falling into a drowse against him as we drove home. I mumbled some protest when he got me to my feet, leaning heavily on him as we moved back inside. Oscar insisted that the men retire to the smoking room, to celebrate a truly good dinner with a cigar. Liz and I were more than glad to head up to our rooms, although I did stop with her on her floor. My eyes were heavy as I looked to her, "You know, I saw you and James tonight."
"As if you haven't done more with Will." She rolled her eyes, laughing slightly.
I snorted. "Well, perhaps you shouldn't do it in front of your brother next time."
"I don't often have the occasion to be around James for a very long time, you can't get mad at me for indulging myself a bit."
"Oh, I would never." I raised an eyebrow. "I just can't wait to see Oscar's reaction when I mention that James will need to show off his dancing prowess tomorrow. he can't be embarrassing himself at the wedding, and he will need a partner."
Liz's smile practically reached her ears. "Oh Anastasia, I would love you forever if you did that."
Will and I were smiling as we sat on the settee, watching Liz and James revolve around the parlor. She truly did look happy, and James had gotten better at leading. He had a tender look in his eyes as he looked down at her, but his hands stayed in their proper place. Oscar would have burst out of his chair and hauled him out by his collar if he let his hands slip, not that he didn't look ready to fight him at the moment. His voice was tight. "I think that's enough, he's proven himself in a tango, a polka and a waltz. What more are you planning for the wedding?"
"Oscar, hush." I leaned my head against Will's shoulder, listening to the orchestra blare tinnily through the phonograph. "Let them enjoy this."
"One of them is enjoying it far too much." Oscar groused, but he allowed them a few more moments before getting up and shutting the phonograph off. "That's enough of that, we have to get ready for the theater."
The groans released by Will, James and I were hardly forced. We had all shared the same look at breakfast, drawn and haggard as we all favored the coffee that had been put out. I didn't know what had kept the other two up and moving at the table, but I'd barely managed to keep from falling asleep in my eggs after my dreams. Will in the water, Father in the water, myself in the water, all of us freezing and unable to reach each other or safety. I had spent quite sometime clutching Rigel after I had woken in a cold sweat, hardly caring that he was on the bed. Louise hadn't either, and had actually dusted me with a bit of rouge before sending me down to breakfast. The coffee had helped perk me up, enough to have badgered Oscar into allowing the other couple a dance or three.
"I don't quite know if I can manage the theater, Oscar." Will rubbed at his eyes. "I was hoping to try and catch a bit of nap this afternoon."
"There's time for that." Oscar shrugged, looking to Liz. "Why don't you help Anastasia get ready? I'm sure Mr. Moody is quite capable of getting himself into a suit."
"You don't want her to help him?" I couldn't resist teasing Oscar a bit, the flush on his cheek as he very clearly restrained himself from saying something cruel as he sent the two of us off. In the end Liz and I wound up helping each other into some less formal evening gowns, entirely appropriate for the pantomime she had gotten us tickets for. It was nice to sit with everyone and simply laugh at the jokes, the silly songs and see other people around us just enjoying the show. It was hard to dread the dreams that were haunting me when everyone was laughing and smiling.
