Entry 7: Operation Ruthless
Of all the idiotic things! Arnold, in love with Ruth!
Pheebs and I were watching the Cheese Festival be set up when I saw her with a piece of Swiss cheese in her hand…
"Phoebe, what are you doing?"
"According to festival tradition, Swiss cheese is the window to your soul. If you spin around three times, hold your breath, and look through a hole, it will guide you to your true love."
"Ha! Poppycock! Gimme That!"
Simmons has been leaving out information worth knowing in his Nutrition lectures. Sure enough, after following Pheebs' instructions, I was pointed in the direction of my beloved.
As I held the edible device close to my eyes, I watched him approach what appeared to be me. Drawing nearer...and nearer….until I see the little shrimp walk straight past me to get to Ruth~
So what if she's pretty? It's not like he knows anything about her. Not to mention the fact she's two years older than him.
I wasn't giving up. Not without a fight! If I couldn't have him, I wasn't going to let Ruth~ take him.
Pheebs and I met up at the fair to put Operation Ruthless into action. First thing was first...draw Arnold's attention aware from her.
As I watched Geraldo hand him a stick of crummy cheese snacks that were supposed to pass as a gift, I chased Pheebs towards them, knocking football head to the ground.
"Whoops! How clumsy of you!"
Yeah, yeah, it was a crummy move. It's not like he cared about being with me though. I mean, the guy stood from the ground and still had his eyes set on the sixth grader like some sort of lovesick puppy!
With or without a gift to give her, I watched him follow her into the House of Mirrors, mumbling the same line over and over…
"Hi Ruth...Hi Ruth...Hi Ruth…" Oh brother!
After racing inside after him, I saw his innocent self ready to approach her. I took action! I stepped in front of him, making sure to steal his attention (and quite possibly his affections).
After noticing my reflections surrounding him, he backed straight into me. Although I acted disgusted by the gesture, I was trembling mercilessly inside.
Obviously he wasn't going to give up on Ms. Slender Legs any easier than I was on him. Pheebs and I followed him to the bumper cars where I overheard the accelerator in car number four sticks…
"Car Number 4, huh?"
I decided to assist Ms. Slender Legs into what I was sure would lead to a 'sticky' ride for her. After circling the court, waiting for Ms. Perfect to get slammed, I noticed her coming to a stop.
"Hey, she stopped? That's not car number 4, that's car number 3? Then who's in car number 4?
I'm sure you can guess where this is going…
After looking to see the mistake I'd made, Phoebe and I went flying through the court and half way across the park.
I ought to sue those people! I ended up in a neck brace for riding a game fit for a three year old. I only had one chance left to take Arnold's attention away from Ruth.
I saw my beloved heading for what I had always dreamed of riding with him… The Tunnel of Love. If I just made a few adjustments in the line, I could be paired up with him.
Apparently I wasn't the only one there that night who had a desire to ride the ride without being paired up randomly.
I became incredibly agitated watching everyone jump over the fence to catch a glimpse at their partner for the ride. Who may I ask do you believe I got stuck with? Arnold? Pttss...yeah right.
I sat in a swan, leaning frustrated against the side of the boat, upset with the way my plans had turned out…
"This has got to be the worst night of my life!"
As if sulking wasn't bad enough, my 'partner' thought riding beside me gave him the right to wrap his arm around me. Well, I fixed his wagon.
After knocking Brainy into the water, I left the ride to see Arnold fawning over Ruth, not bothered by the fact he hadn't spoken to her that night.
Now, here I am in my neck brace, wondering what the night would have been like if I had just gone up to Arnold and told him the truth? Said to him 'I love you Arnold! I've always loved you!'
Nah...I made the right decision.
