Entry 12: The Spelling Bee

What good does it do someone to win something if they didn't do it on their own? Even more so, if it means hurting someone they truly care about?

I stood at the front of the class, one of the final two who were picked to represent P.S. 118 in the city wide spelling bee; me and Arnold.

"Good luck you two. Helga, don't spend all that money in one place."

Ms. Slovack winked, sure I would win. My two choices were study hard and beat my beloved, (knowing I had crushed his spirit), or lose the contest along with my dignity. Oh and one other thing….

"If my daughter Helga doesn't win tomorrow, you get your first beeper free!"

BOB! His constant arrogance and the need to take advantage of any opportunity to shove his business into another person's face had managed to find itself a home here.

Being drilled with question after question like some sort of witness in court, I insisted this had gone on long enough.

"Please dad. I'm so tired."

Obviously, I was exhausted. Since when does Bob show anyone even the slightest bit of empathy?

Not only did he refuse to back off, he felt the perfect way to encourage me would be by bringing up one of Olga's~ special memories.

"I'll never forget when she got that final word...qualm; qua-L-m."

I already knew he wasn't going to be sitting in the audience with the other parents, cheering because he was proud to have me as his daughter. He would be sitting there, anxiously awaiting the moment I won so his precious store didn't plumitt. Salesman of the month or father of the year? Like I really needed to study to figure that one out.

After getting whatever little sleep my mind allowed me to, I went downstairs to see Bob already dressed and ready to head downtown. Criminy, why was he so fixated on this? He never cares to remember I exist, what made his high and mighty self decide to start now?

From the moment I saw him standing by Miriam's drooling self in the kitchen to the second we arrived at City Hall, I listened to him rant about everything that was riding on this competition….

"We got beepers riding on this thing, so when you're up there, where this around your neck."

I don't know what I found to be more insulting. My dad not believing I would win, or him being so certain anything about Olga~ would guarantee I did win. Pttss...I had half a mind to throw the bee right there and then.

I then dragged my way on stage, nearly breaking my neck thanks to The Golden Child's two ton metal, to begin the vie against my beloved.

"Everyone knows the rules. Last speller standing, is the city champion."

The lovely mishap with a geek who seemed to be feeding off the answers through an earpiece he was wearing, may make them reconsider how simple they make the rules.

As our turns passed, my nerves shook intensely. I didn't care about Bob's stupid store or the crappy merchandise that went along with it. It was just a matter of showing what I was capable of. Maybe I wasn't even trying to prove anything to Bob. I just needed to remind myself I'm as good as Olga is, even if they're too blind to realize it. Was that feeling of self recognition really worth crushing my beloved however?

The emotional conflict I struggled with on stage soon answered itself when I saw him angrily crumple and toss aside a small sheet of paper in my direction.

"I can't believe it! He didn't think I could do it on my own!"

Bob spent weeks cramming knowledge into my head just to bribe someone to take a dive and LET me win? And ARNOLD nonetheless!

If I wasn't doing this for him to begin with, I sure as heck wasn't going to let the confirmation of him having no faith in me whatsoever change that! I was then free to end my suffering.

"Alright Helga you're next. You're word is qualm."

It was like destiny paging Bob to give up.

"Let's see...qualm. Q-U-A-L...X?"

A smile grew on my face the size of Arnold's head. Justice was at last served and Bob was no longer my problem...at least for the time being.

I watched a crowd of hungry customers chase him onto the street, as if they'd been waiting for me to blow the competition from the start.

So what if no one has faith in me? It can't compare to the pain of knowing I may hurt the only person in my life I truly care about.