Entry 17: Magic Show
Are you one of those people that believes dreams foretell the future? Well, you can really learn a thing or two from them bucko.
I was sitting on the couch this morning, not expecting anything out of the ordinary to happen. School was out, but that didn't mean there was anything worth doing. That is, until I heard the mail being dropped in…
"Bill, bill, hey what's this? You're invited to a magic show to see The Great Arnoldini!"
My love never ceases to amaze me with that exceedingly wild imagination of his. I had to see it for myself.
Miriam watched me approaching the door, wanting to know where I was off to. Since when does she take an interest in my life?
"I've got plans."
"But it's your father's birthday!"
Not having cared about what I was walking out on, I made my way to the show, upset Pheebs' hadn't considered saving me a seat.
"You do everything wrong Pheebs! Everything!"
Yeah I need to cut her a break. Not only that, show her how appreciative I truly am to have a friend like her. All I ever do is walk all over her, and yet she still puts up with it. Quite similar to somebody else…
"Here he is! The great Arnoldini!"
"Oh brother we're living in geeksville!"
Yeah, I was a little quick to jump on him the way I did, but can you blame me? I mean, two pigeons flew out of his pants for crying out loud!
I could tell the show was going to be a disaster. I had already caused a commotion by kicking Pink boy out of his seat, I wasn't afraid to continue on with my dissatisfaction.
After mocking each trick he hoped to amuse the audience with, Geraldo suggests moving to the grand finale, which Pink boy is thrilled to suggest volunteering me for.
"Make Helga disappear! Make Helga disappear!"
Did it hurt hearing the crowd cheer unanimously to have me drop off the face of the earth? Ummm DOI!
I wasn't about to let those losers get wise to it though.
"Alright you morons! I'll do it! I'll go in the dumb box!"
As I stood inside, waiting to see exactly what lame trick headboy had up his sleeve, he said just to stand there.
Sure enough, that was all I had to do. Whatever cheap store they rigged that thing from designed it to come with an inside flap to scroll down in front of the person standing in there.
I can only think of one thing that's sadder...anyone believe it's capable for someone to actually disappear!
Well, those jerk wads wanted a show AND for me to disappear, so I decided to give them what they came there for.
I snuck out the back of the oh so impressive box, and watched from behind the fence to see Arnold fail to bring me back.
After laughing profusely at his failed attempt to return me to the crowd, the joke turned out to be on me. I ran into a telephone pole and had the most bizarre dream.
I don't know if I was dead or just missing but whatever it was that happened to me, no one cared that I wasn't around anymore.
I should have woken up the instant I saw Bob and Miriam getting along. The only universe that's been known to happen is when Olga ~ is around. Sheesh!
Then Pheebs was easily able to replace me. I shouldn't have been too surprised there. Why would someone enjoy hanging around someone who was just going to treat them like a slave nonstop?
Although I was still unconscious, I was getting a real wake up call. Wandering the empty streets in my dreams, the idea of been hated and unwanted brought as much pain to my heart as I apparently do to other people.
There was just one more thing I needed to see to prove how wrong of a direction my actions were leading me in…
"Arnold?!"
I saw my beloved on tv, a huge success! What for? Oh what do YOU think?
"I'm here with The Great Arnoldini, whose career took off like a rocket after he made Helga disappear."
As if that wasn't bad enough, sitting beside him on the show was Ruth ~
"I would like to announce Ruth and I are getting married!"
My mind must have known that was all I could take. Next thing I knew, I was waking up on the ground, realizing what a jerk I had been to all the people I cared about.
"Maybe I should have cared about my father and his birthday. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on Phoebe so often. And Arnold! Poor Arnold! I've mocked and ridiculed him! I must apologize!"
You'd think I would have learned my lesson to walk more slowly down the streets after that. Instead, I raced off once again to make amends. Having bought my dad a gift, I returned to the show.
I don't know why those lamebrains felt the need to cheer after it took apparently 48 attempts to 'bring me back?' Criminy!
Either way, football head got his magic in for the day.
I apologized to Pheebs, and hopefully the flowers I bought her were enough to show how much her friendship means to me. I do a crummy job of showing it, but I would be lost without her. Almost as lost as I would be without someone else…
"Arnold, I'm sorry I made fun of your magic, and the shape of your, head, and…"
"You already wrecked my last trick!"
"Well I was just going to say…"
"What? I'm listening."
"Well, I was just going to say...That you're a weird headed geek!"
Yeah, I blew it...AGAIN! Another opportunity to confess how much my love means to me and my nerves get the best of me.
That's okay though. That's what I have Pheebs and her loyal attitude for.
