Entry 41: Helga's Locket
I don't know who's crazier, me or gramp; me for constantly signing my name everytime I have something that would give away my deepest darkest secret if it fell into the wrong hands…
Or gramps for getting as excited about it as I did.
I suppose one thing we have in common is how much we absolutely adore Arnold. Ohh Arnold, so kind, and nurturing. Always thinking of others. Never afraid to speak the truth to the ones you care about…
Unlike me. After leaving the jewelry store with my locket in which I had a new inscription made Arnold my soul, you're always in my heart, love Helga G. Pataki, I of course had my mind set on the thought of us one day being together. The thought of me one day having the courage to tell him my true feelings.
I saw his beautiful face in his bedroom window, which I've seen oh so many times before. I walked up his fire escape, letting my emotions pour out, only to slip on a pile of left over rain.
Rather than locket falling and me just having to replace it, it fell into the mouth of that stupid pet pig of his! Not that I haven't made my feelings clear for him, but seriously, who has a pig for a pet? He doesn't live on a farm for crying out loud! Unless his bizarre cousin did in some way rub off on him? Sheesh!
Anyway, as I looked in the window, it turned out gramps seemed to think my locket was an anniversary gift from his lunatic wife.
Football head wasn't too flattered when he saw the old man wearing his picture around his neck. I couldn't imagine what his reaction would be if he saw the inscription inside.
As anxious as I was, I have to say how ridiculous I found it to be that they had so much trouble opening it. I mean all you have to do is hold the clasp down and flip it open at the same time. Not constantly tap it like gramps was doing? Sheesh!
Anyway, the old man didn't waste a second blabbing to the neighborhood about his gift. Even I don't run over to Pheebs when I'm happy (not that that happens often) and say "Hey! Look what I just got!"
Is it because my neglecting family has made me bitter, or just because I'm that insecure? Eh, probably a bit of both.
Anyway, after seeing football head blushing harder than Princess' sweater, he insisted on gramps replacing his picture with his lunatic grandmother's.
Even if his plan worked, that didn't mean he wouldn't still see the inscription! Not that those two knew how to get the freaking thing open.
I just couldn't take that risk. I don't even like thinking about what must be going through his mind when I bump into him on the street corner!
After trying to creep into gramps' room that night (seeing how lucky I was that he was already out), someone else was just as desperate as I was to grab my treasure.
"Criminy! Now I've got to go steal the locket back from Arnold!"
Luckily, even after seeing that happen, he couldn't open it either. His determination to do it was ALMOST as bad as mine was to get it back.
"Why won't it open? I'll go downstairs and get a pair of pliers."
It was my chance to at last grab it and run. Of course the moment I saw little ms perfect's picture taped to his computer, shredding that seemed more important at the moment. The heart wants what it wants. And love makes you do crazy things.
Of course that was gramps' que to come searching for it as well. Had I kept my eyes on the window and not his stupid self, I probably would have made it out of there. But no! I dropped it...again!
It was pouring so hard, so one heard my screams I didn't even bother to consider. It's crazy while you're physically exhausted, there is no off switch for your mind, and the terrible things your actions could lead to.
I was just going to have to confront the old man myself, and pray Arnold wouldn't be around to recognize me.
After the idiot listened to me say I was looking to rent a room in a bording house, then realized he was the owner of one (pttss...buffoon) he allowed me in.
The moment he sat me down at the table, I eyed the locket and insisted it could be worth thousands of dollars.
"Would you mind if I had a closer look?"
"Nooo, I don't see why not?"
The freak acted like it was his last oxygen tank. I mean, all I did was ask to hold the freaking thing? Criminy!
Once he finally did let go, I probably should have waited until I made it out the door before saying
"I'm out of here!"
Hey, I was desperate? I had tried what seemed to be everything at that point. For a moment, I tried talking a bit of sense into myself.
"Okay, that's it. Maybe I'll never get the locket back. So what if my deep, dark secret is revealed and my love for Arnold suddenly becomes public knowledge. No biggie. I can live without it."
I'm sure you know where this is going….
"What was I thinking! I have to get that locket back!"
I don't know what I find to be more bewildering; that Arnold couldn't get it open, or that never once, in all the times I spent on top of his see through roof, did he notice me? Especially when that kid always has his head in the clouds?
Well, as I hovered over them, I was lucky enough to hear football head convince gramps to replace the picture. Lucky to HEAR it. What was I going to DO about it?
They said they were going to the basement. How the heck was I supposed to get it back in that freaking cramped space?!
Thankfully, their determination to open that thing was too set on noticing me rolling up along into the mat that was laying on the floor.
After hearing them reminice through that freaking wall of tools of his, I saw the circuit breaker. If I couldn't grab it, I wasn't going to let them SEE it.
Then gramps acts like he actually lost his vision; which would have been perfect for me.
The moment those two held out their arms searching for the breaker, I held out mine to at last grab my treasure.
Once again I had to hide after the light were back on.
"Hey, where'd my locket go? Arnold, did you take it?"
"No?"
"Well, we're the only two down here. Maybe Abner took it!"
"Maybe, but do you also think Abner could turn off the lights?"
"Yeah, you're right. That pig's smart but not that smart. Unless, someone took it!"
"Grandpa, who would care about it so much they'd come up with a plan to steal it?"
"I don't know, probably someone who's crazy."
Yeah, I'M the crazy one! The freak who had a sandwich and soda ready in the basement prepared just to try opening a locket considers ME to be the crazy one?
Well, I made it out. Only to have to chase that stupid pig down the block again! Criminy! My determination was a bit more aggressive this time after all I'd been through.
I may be sitting here covered in dirt, bruises, and a few bite marks. The important thing though is, I caught him…
And the old prune is not probably wearing a roast beef sandwich locket. Pttss...loser.
