Lights arrived three days before Will did and immediately made himself at home. He chose the set of rooms Samuel had recently vacated, saying with a grin. "I intend to use every set of rooms that I can, have to figure out which are the best after all. I don't suppose you two would mind letting me use your bedroom at some point?"
I gave him a glare, "I am hardly letting you into my bed, Charles Lightoller."
He chuckled, "Well, I'd bring Sylvie with me for that trip. I'm sure she would love to see how soft it is." Judging by the smirk on his face he was only joking, but it still felt rather dangerous, as if he would jump on the chance to kick me out of my bed if he could. Or maybe he just wanted to tease Will about how he spent some time in his bed. But he did seem content with the rooms he had chosen, sleeping most of the afternoon away.
I glanced up as he arrived in the dining room, "Finally awake?"
"You've no idea how wonderful it is to be able to sleep as long as you like." He sat, casting an eye at the beef and barley soup laid out for dinner. "And here I thought I was going to get wined and dined."
"I didn't know you were coming."
"No, but you did have time to arrange for something fancier." He smirked, reaching over and picking up a ladle to fill his bowl. "But we have time for that, as well as some shopping."
I sighed, stirring my own bowl. "Shopping, really?"
"Well, I happened to have heard you took your last guest to Tiffany's." He raised an eyebrow, "Although I would much prefer diamonds to emeralds."
I reached over and swatted his arm, making him jerk away from the plate of rolls he had been reaching for. "You should be glad you have a roof over your head!"
"And I am incredibly grateful for that!" He snatched a roll, buttering it with a surly look at me. "And I wouldn't be shopping for myself, it would be for Sylvie. I only thought that if you took your father-in-law shopping that you might look kindly on setting out with your brother-in-law."
"Lights," I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I'll consider it, alright?"
"I suppose so, although can we go somewhere for dinner tomorrow? Unless you're willing to set out a large spread for a poor sailor used to whatever slop his captain deigns to give him."
"We can go to dinner, you can order whatever you like." I shook my head as he grinned, "Although I do have to go down to the offices tomorrow, you can come with."
He rolled his eyes, "And no doubt I'll be stuck twiddling my thumbs while waiting for you." The next morning when we arrived, he at least appeared interested. He'd left his uniform off, instead opting for a dark gray suit, but by being my escort it was fairly clear to everyone that he was rather important. I had been at my desk for less than an hour before he let out a great sigh. "Honestly, I don't know how Will does it. This is so boring."
I snorted, "He doesn't stay in here the whole time, usually he's down on the docks." I stood, looking out the window. "Why don't you head down? I can see your namesake is tied up, I'm sure I can arrange for a tour."
He sprang to his feet, joining me at the window. "Oh, I can get myself onboard, don't you worry about that." He was halfway out the door before he looked back, "And don't plan on leaving me behind, I still want that dinner." I was laughing as I shooed him out the door, and watched from the window as he joined the crowds bustling around my ships. He was easy enough to pick out, and it hardly took him five minutes before the captain was whisking him aboard the Charles.
I enjoyed a lunch in my office while waiting for him, and wound up waiting outside by the carriage for him to reappear. I pursed my lips as he came around a corner, decidedly not from the direction of the docks. "I'm half convinced to not take you to dinner now."
"Oh be reasonable, Anna." He grinned, holding open the carriage door. "I had to take the captain out for a pint, what kind of patron would I be if I didn't?"
I still kept my mouth screwed up as I sat down, the horses setting off once the door was closed. "Patron? And here I thought I owned her."
"And you named her after me, it would be unlucky for me to not treat her captain." Lights leaned back in his seat, "And I told him I would talk to you about a slight raise for his crew." I bit back a groan, instead listening to him continue on about how he found the ship. It met with his approval, although he wished she had some passenger cabins so he could take his family for a trip on her.
Back at the house, I was glad to be able to duck into my bathroom and into my tub. The warm water, right on the edge of hot, was relaxing and the quiet was much needed. I loved Charles, dearly, but without Will around as a third party things were a bit straining. He was always so full of life, rushing from one interest to the next, cracking jokes and pulling everyone along in his wake. As the sole subject of Lights's enthusiasm, it was a bit draining.
So the quiet of my rooms was much appreciated, and Louise seemed to notice as she silently brushed and styled my hair. Even Rigel was quiet int he sitting room, only the sound of his panting coming through. But the silence did make me glance around my room, the tables and chairs that only I had used for the past week and a half, the bed where I had been sleeping alone.
But then I saw the painting Will and I had found in Paris, the clipper ship cresting through a wave, and I smiled. Will was on his way back, he'd be here soon and things would be easier with Charles. Well, as easy as they could be with the anniversary so close. I did have to admit that Lights was a great help for that, even if I was frustrated from him it kept me from thinking about that.
I hadn't dreamed of Father again, not as intensely as the first time. Sometimes a wisp of his cologne came through in my dreams, or I remembered something we had done together when I had been younger. But I hadn't had a nightmare since then, and my sleep had been much more restful. I chose a light purple silk for the night, pairing it with a simple chain of amethysts and the bracelet Will had gotten me. I couldn't help but smile to see Lights in his White Star uniform waiting at the bottom of the stairs. "You know, usually it's my husband waiting for me all dolled up."
"And now it's just your brother-in-law." He chuckled, offering me his arm. "Although said brother-in-law is much more handsome than that brute of a Scot you married." I swatted his arm for that as we set off, the electric lights of the city coming in through the windows. He gave an approving hum as the carriage stopped a ways into the city, "Ah, Delmonico's, excellent choice for dinner."
"You're welcome to order anything." I shook my head, nodding to the boys holding the doors for us. The restaurant was already full of diners, and I recognized quite a few of them. The Fishes and the Astors, a few Vanderbilts, and the Reichsters sitting around a large table where father and son were laughing loudly about something while waving cigars around.
The waiter led us to a table across the room from them, nodding to us. "Mrs. Murdoch, Lieutenant Lightoller, thank you choosing Delmonico's tonight. I'll see some wine brought over and give you time to look over our menu."
Lights flipped open the menu with a speed that spoke to his appetite, "I still can't believe you introduced me that way."
"You did wear a uniform." I replied, raising a brow over my own menu.
"And as your brother-in-law."
"I think since I'm your children's aunt that does qualify you for that role."
He gave me a smile at that, "So, tell me what's been going on here. I see the Antichrist should be here soon." He nodded his head towards Sophie, her belly huge and her eyes strained. My heart gave a little twinge, I was quite sure she would rather be home resting rather than listening to whatever gossip Samantha was shrieking about with her friends.
I swatted his menu with my own, "Oh, don't call it that, after all it's Sophie's child too and she is actually very nice. I think if anything that term should be applied to the father."
"Well, it would make the grandfather Old Scratch himself, so it does fit." He cast a glare at the male half of their table. "She looks miserable."
"I thought most pregnant women were at that point?"
"They are, which is why when Sylvie reaches that point I'll do anything for her. Rub her feet, fetch her whatever she wants to eat, let her hit me for things I didn't do." He smirked as I chuckled at that, "I wouldn't make her come out like this unless she wanted, and then I wouldn't stay longer than she wanted."
I sighed, "You're a good husband you know, and hopefully you'll pass that advice onto Will."
"Oh, do I have advice for him. He'll be getting an earful when he get home." He returned to the menu, "I'm thinking we start with Oysters Rockefeller, then lobster, then steak. Oh, and some caviar."
I barked out a laugh at that, "You had better eat every bite." To say the waiter was pleased with our order was an understatement, no doubt he'd be getting a large tip at the end of the night. The caviar, along with its accompanying wine, had just been brought when two ladies, in the latest fashions, stopped by our table. I glanced up from my blini, "Miss Fish, Miss Bishop, lovely to see you."
Miss Bishop, a black haired beauty in a green dress, batted her fingers. "We weren't expecting to see you here, Mrs. Murdoch. And your dinner partner?"
"My brother-in-law, Lieutenant Charles Lightoller." I gestured toward him, and used the moment they were looking at him to inhale my blini. The caviar was absolutely delicious, salty and rich, and when I looked over Lights was smiling at the two ladies.
Miss Fish extended her hand, "Lieutenant Lightoller, a pleasure."
"I think the pleasure is mine," He gently grasped her hand, his eyes glancing up. "My word, are those diamonds?"
Lucille pressed a hand to her necklace, a gaudy collar of large stones. "Oh yes, a gift from my father. Apparently the style is all the rage in Paris." She glanced over to me, "I told you that more stones were the fashion nowadays, Mrs. Murdoch."
"And I told you I am quite content with my ring." I scooped up another spoonful of caviar.
Light's smile was tight, "Actually Miss Fish, I'm afraid you advice may be out of date." Her head whipped around quickly as Charles continued. "I have had the occasion to see a great many French ladies lately, and it seems a much more simple style is in vogue." Charles took a bite out of a blini, clearly smiling. "In fact, pearls are in style lately. If you need any help finding them, Anastasia has a good eye for them. I remember seeing her's at her wedding, although I don't remember seeing you."
Miss Bishop looked from a rapidly reddening Miss Fish to Charles. "Mr. Lightoller, surely you must be mistaken." I watched Lights, still helping himself to caviar from the iced bowl in front of us. Miss Bishop coughed, "Mr. Lightoller?"
Miss Fish stamped her foot. "When a lady is speaking to you you should respond."
Lights placed just the right amount of dill on his current morsel, "And when addressing someone with a rank you should use it." He looked over at them, casting a stern eye over them. "And the only lady I can see is the one sat across from me at this table."
I had to bite my tongue as the two of them flounced away, clearly in a state. I could barely speak when the oysters arrived, "Lights, Jesus, you know they're going to spread the around." He didn't even lift his eyes as he collected an oyster, and I raised a brow. "Oh, my apologies Lieutenant Lightoller."
"Ah, I knew you had manner, Anna." He chuckled, slurping down the mix of oyster meat, parmesan and lemon. "Honestly, I don't know how you and Will put up with them. You always seem so much happier in Southampton."
I sighed, "It is trying sometimes, but the food helps make up for it." And such food that we had. The oysters were just down to shells when the waiter arrived again to sweep our plates away and swiftly dismantle two lobsters in front of us. Dishes of melted butter and lemon juice were placed over candles, and after every morsel had been eaten our steaks arrived. At the end of the night, I was deeply considering sleeping in my chair. But I waved a hand to our waiter, "Some ice cream for us, and please send a bowl over to Sophie Reichster. Just enough for one person, one spoon, and tell her it's from me."
He bowed, hustling away. Lights, already dozing slightly, grinned. "You're stirring the pot there."
"I'm treating my friend to something nice." I watched as the waiter brought the dessert over, earning myself glares from the rest of the table but a nod of thanks from Sophie. At least she enjoyed something tonight, I was glad that she didn't even offer anyone else a spoonful. But after our dessert we were lucky the staff didn't have to roll us into the carriage, although Louise did have to prod me into bed.
A bracing morning carriage ride was just the thing to wake us up, as much as Charles complained about the hour and the biting chill that hadn't quite left the city yet. I couldn't help but smile as he kept going on and on, not noticing that the carriage was leaving the park behind and trotting over to an establishment that I had patronized quite recently. Eventually, I sighed. "Are you quite finished?"
"No, not in the slightest." He chuckled, then looked out. "Tiffany's?"
"You said you wanted to go shopping." I shrugged, and he trailed in my wake as we entered. If I had thought Samuel's reaction to the jewelry was fun, Charles's was hilarious. He fairly goggled over everything that was presented, although he paled when he heard the prices listed. I raised a brow, "Lights?"
He flushed, "I shouldn't have said anything about shopping. I don't want you spending that kind of money on me."
"And here I thought it was for your wife." I shook my head, noting down a pair of earrings that he had lingered over until the salesman had offered him more information. Instead I gave a small yawn, "Why don't you head back to the carriage, then? I'll catch right up, just have to settle something." He gratefully made his exit, so he wasn't around when I arranged for those earrings and a stick pin to be sent to the house. I'd find someway to sneak them into his trunk.
I sat up straighter when we reached the house though, making Lights snort. "Spot a cab did you?" I didn't even answer, rushing out of the carriage as soon as it stopped and barreling past Rigel. Will, who had been focused on negotiating his way around the dog, was prepared and stumbled for a moment as I rushed into him.
One of his hands came up to brush through my hair, flicking my hat aside. "Hello Ana, you look well."
"So do you." I pressed a kiss to his lips. "I missed you."
"And I didn't?" Lights called out, a laugh in his voice. "You'll forgive me if I don't kiss you, Will."
Will snorted, "Always Lights, how long have you been here?"
"Three days, give or take." He shrugged, all of us moving over to the parlor. "Although we've done enough that it feels like it's been a week."
"Shame that I missed it," Will grunted as he sat down, pulling me next to him. "Although Lights, please tell me you have not been causing trouble since you got here."
Charles sat across from us silently, but grinning like a naughty schoolboy.
"Dear God, what have you two gotten up to?"
"Oh nothing," I leaned over, brushing my hand over Will's cheek and soothing him. "We had dinner at Delmonico's, we've been to the park, and Charles spent an entire day looking over his namesake."
Will's glare softened, but only for a moment. "Delmonico's? Please don't tell me you brought him around your set."
"Of course I did." I smirked, "They were all quite taken with Lieutenant Lightoller."
"Especially after I put the young Miss Fish in her place." Charles spoke up, standing and filling himself a snifter of whiskey. "Honestly, you should just be glad I didn't slap her after what Ana told me she said about her ring."
Will didn't even wait for him to leave the bar, instead bumping Lights out of place to pour a glass of whiskey. He downed it in a few swallows, then filled it again. "You're going to be the death of me, you know that."
"Oh, I don't believe that for a moment." Lights clapped him on the back, "More than likely you're going to live a long and happy life, surrounded by children, and die with Anna there riding you like a racehorse."
I blushed furiously at that. "Charles!"
"What?" He spread his arms, smiling even as Will poured himself a third glass. "Any man would be lucky to have an end like that."
"And that," Will snagged Lights's glass. "Is why you're cut off until tonight. Now, if you'll stop tormenting me, I would like to head up to my own bed."
Lights wrinkled his nose as Will downed his whiskey, then turned to his other glass. "Then you had better drag Anna with you, with how much whiskey you've had you more than likely will be after her later and I would prefer not to see that down here in the parlor."
I shot him a glare as Will climbed the stairs, but his comment did not stop me from settling down in Will's lap once we reached our rooms. "He's only joking, you know."
"I know," Will's arm came around me, pulling me to lean on his chest. "I'm sorry I came back so late, there's only one day left."
I pursed my lips, "It's alright, he's actually been very good as a distraction."
"Now that, he is." Will chuckled, and I buried my face in his shoulder to kiss his neck. Despite Light's assertion, Will had not had enough whiskey to tie me to the bed for the rest of the day, and we all passed a pleasant dinner. Later, though, when I began to tease Will in bed, he caught my hand. "Not while he's here."
I pouted, "But Will, you know I like it when you've just gotten back."
"And you know my father heard us and his teasing was bad enough, imagine what Lights will say." That shut me up quick, although it didn't stop me from continuing to torture Will. He did make the most wonderful noises when I nibbled on his earlobes and kissed my way down his neck. To say the three of us were on edge the next day was an understatement. We slept late, ate little, and didn't leave the house.
When the sun had gone down, I made sure the library was stocked with whiskey, had a fire lit, and brooded before the window. I sipped my glass of whiskey, "Two years, I still miss you Papa." Sometimes there were places in the house where I could still smell that bay rum cologne, and I would find myself mooning over the portrait in the office. A short while later the other two stepped inside, and I wrinkled my nose at the smell rolling off them. "Smoking?"
Will kissed my cheek, filling my glass before filling one for himself. "I said I wouldn't smoke as much."
"And he's trying to talk me down to the same." Lights was already rather jolly, and I had a feeling a bottle of whiskey somewhere in the house was half empty. "I like my pipe, thank you very much."
"And our children would like to have their Uncle Lights around for a good long while." I shook my head, "After all, it seems like we're all lucky to be here tonight. We should make it last as long as we can."
"Very lucky." Will muttered, patting the chair next to him. "God, I can't get it out of my head."
"Drink, that's what it's for." Light shot back, already refilling his glass.
I held out my own empty glass, smiling when he filled it full. "I must admit, I'm having a hard time thinking about anything else right now."
I watched Lights take a long sip of whiskey before speaking. "I don't want to think about it, I've been getting enough of that at home."
"Home?" I tilted my head, "Don't tell me the boys have been after you to tell stories."
He waved his hand. "No, no. Sylvie was worried about me coming over so close to it, she thinks I should write down what happened to deal with it, somehow. I told her I don't want to remember it, let alone write it down and have it waiting for me."
"Perhaps you should." Will spoke quietly, watching the fire. "Perhaps we all should." He glanced from Lights to myself, obviously noting the silence and muted expression on our faces. "It's not as if people will ever stop asking us about it. They'll print it right next to our obituaries, I just thought it might be nice to not have to tell the story over and over again."
Lights barked out a bitter laugh, "You want to have everyone read what you did that night?"
"I'm not saying we have to publish it," Will shrugged, sipping his whiskey. "But we could keep it as a journal, so we don't forget anything."
Charles stood, moving to pour himself another drink. "We'd all be better off forgetting."
"I wouldn't." I spoke quietly, looking at the fireplace. "I want to remember, I don't want to forget what happened, even though it hurts."
"So you're becoming an author too?" Lights's glass was full to the brim, "You want to remember all that screaming and horror?"
Will's voice was firm, "Lights, that's enough."
"No, Will, it's not." He took a slug from his glass. "Because you all seem deadset on staying in the past."
"We're not-"
"And what if you do write it all down, Will?" Lights's color was up, his eyes intense. "Would you write down everything that happened to you that night? How I had to drag you back when you tried to go back into the water? You want your children to read that? Or what about mine? They should read about how Uncle Will wanted to kill himself?" Will flinched, and Charles's face fell. "Damn it Will, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
"It's alright." Will shrugged, but he didn't look at his friend. "Let's just leave it be."
"I shouldn't have said it, fuck Will, I'm sorry." Charles slumped down into a chair, pressing his palms to his eyes. "Will, we were all out of our minds that night."
"I know."
"I know it was just a moment, that you wouldn't do it now."
Will sighed, "Let's just not talk about it anymore."
"I just, I don't understand why either of your would want to remember it."
I sipped my own whiskey, glad for the warmth and to get away from the subject. "It was the last time I saw my father, I don't want to forget any minute of him."
Charles sighed, "All I remember from that night is being terrified that I'd die and leave Sylvie and the boys behind. And then the waiting, God, it felt like days we were out there." He stood, rather unsteady. "I'll leave, I shouldn't stay."
Will stood, coming over and gently pushing Lights back into his chair. "You're staying."
"Not after what I said." Light shook his head, and I took that moment to slip out. It was obvious that Will would keep him there, and while it would ruin my surprise, Lights needed it now. What he had said was harsh, and cruel, but it was apparent that as soon as he had said it, he regretted it. All of us were drunk, stewing over old tragic memories, and not exactly in our right minds. Lights was rubbing his eyes when I came back, Will knelt before him.
I could hear my husband talking, "Lights, we've both said things we regret to each other. It's alright, this doesn't have to change things. You know I care about you, that doesn't change it. I want you to stay, Ana wants you to stay."
I sighed, coming over to Lights. He looked up when I tossed the envelope in his lap though. "What is this?"
I gave him a smile, joining Will in front of the chair and patting his knee. "A present, for you and Sylvie."
"Anna, you didn't." Charles's voice was quiet, and he sighed when the earrings and stick pin tumbled into his hands. "Why would you do this?"
"Because I love you," I glanced over to Will, who nodded. "And Will loves you, and what you said doesn't change that fact."
"This is too much."
Will groaned, settling back to sit on the ground. "Just take them you damn fool and stop beating yourself up. It's done." As for what the rest of that night entailed, I still can't quite remember. There was a lot of whiskey, and at one point we moved down to our rooms and wound up the Victrola. Rigel joined in as we danced rags, drank, and eventually the four of us fell into bed.
The next morning my head was splitting, Will had his arm around my waist and Charles was cuddled close to Rigel, and I had wrapped my hands in his coat. I could have woken up Lights and told him that he had gotten his wish to sleep in my bed, but the sun was too bright and I buried my face in the pillow with a groan. At least it was day, and the night was far behind us.
