Chapter 39

When they arrived home, Regina ran up the stairs without another word, past Henry who had come out of his room when he heard the car and disappeared into the bedroom.

"Mom?" the boy only asked questioning and confused, who looked after his mother and could only stare at the closed door.

"Let her be," Emma said calmly, standing in the foyer and leaning against the wall. "She needs a few minutes to herself."

At that, Henry came down the stairs and slipped his arm around his birth mother's clearly very exhausted form without asking. "What's wrong with her?" he wanted to know as he slowly led her into the kitchen so she could sit down.

"We had a very upsetting conversation with Archie. That's all I can and will tell you about it, do you understand?" Gently, she reached for Henry's hand as he stood in front of her after bringing her to the chair.

He nodded and stepped up to the kitchen counter to put the cookie jars in a bag. "We're still going to Aunt Zelena's, though, right?"

"Of course," Emma nodded, trying hard to smile. "Did you actually make any icing for the cookies?" she then wanted to know.

"No, I just painted face on some of them. I thought Robin would probably like that."

"I'm sure she will," Emma agreed with him and looked up as Regina appeared in the doorway.

She had changed her clothes; instead of the pencil skirt and her blouse, she was now wearing jeans and a T-shirt with a plaid shirt over it that Emma was sure was hers. She had also removed the red lipstick and wore only a bit of mascara and a touch of eye shadow. "We can go if you want."

"When you're ready," Emma nodded, rising heavily from her seat and immediately leaning on Regina's arm, which gave her some support. If her body didn't force her to do it anyway, she would have a lazy day in bed tomorrow. "Do we need to bring anything besides the cookies?"

"My purse should have everything we need in it, including your medication," Regina replied, helping her back to the car. "I think Zelena would understand if we cancel because you're not feeling well. I can take Henry there and-"

"No, Regina. We're all going. It doesn't matter if I sit on Zelena's sofa or ours," Emma immediately rejected the suggestion and got into the car. "If I want to go home, I'll tell you, I promise."

Slowly, Regina nodded and went round the car to get in last. Henry was already in the back seat, showing Emma the smallest cookie jar he had filled for his cousin.

"Robin's going to blink her eyes," Emma smirked, looking at the faces looking up happily at her from the cookies in all different colors.

"Hearts and apples with eyes?" Regina asked with a raised eyebrow before pulling out of the driveway.

Emma tilted her head and looked over at her in disbelief. "Well, first of all, those are for a little kid. And second, how can we help it if you have weird cookie cutters? Even in the foster homes I've been in, there were bunnies, sheep, and smiley faces. And what do you have? Apples and hearts!"

"Maybe you remember who I used to be?"

"Did you cut out cookies when you were the Evil Queen?" Emma chuckled, who immediately had a scenario in mind of Regina, in a pompous dress and eerily darkly made-up eyes, grimly making the cookies in the castle kitchen while her cooks huddled shivering in the corners.

Regina rolled her eyes. "Of course not. But when I casted the curse, Storybrooke came up in the way it fit all the fairy tale characters. So I found these cookie cutters in my kitchen cabinets. It wasn't like I could have just placed a purchase order with Ebay."

Now Emma had to laugh and looked out the side window.

"Then where did the dinosaurs come from, Mom?" Henry inquired, poking his head between the front seats. "I know for a fact we had dinosaur cookie cutters when I was little."

For a while, the brunette had to think about what her son was talking about before she replied, "I borrowed those from Kathryn Nolan."

"Princess Abigail had dinosaur cookie cutters?" Emma and Henry asked simultaneously.

"Actually, they were dragons. I think she had them because she was married to David during the curse." Regina shrugged her shoulders. "Goodness knows. You better worry about how we're going to make Snow understand that the cookies really aren't poisoned."

"Do you actually think she thinks that?" Emma wanted to know. "After all, you didn't bake them."

Again, Regina rolled her eyes, but remained silent instead of a retort. The few minutes she had spent alone had already done her good, but the stirring conversation with Archie was still running through her mind, and she doubted that this would change anytime soon.

"Could you go on ahead, Henry, please?" Emma asked after Regina had brought the car to a stop near the door of Zelena's farmhouse. "We'll be right there."

Henry grabbed the bag of cookie jars and hopped out of the car. Of course, he realized Emma wanted to talk to his mom. "See you in a minute."

Gratefully, Emma looked after him and then turned to her girlfriend, who was still clutching the steering wheel tightly and staring out the windshield as if she needed to concentrate on traffic.

"What are you doing? Why are you sending him in alone?", Regina finally pressed out between clenched teeth.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. That was... a lot to take in at once," she stated gently before hesitantly putting her hand around Regina's right one.

"It was," the brunette confirmed before turning her dark eyes to Emma. "But I'm fine."

"Are you?"

"I will be." She sighed and shook her head. "You know, that's why I hesitated when it came to whether you should come. It's not that I'm ashamed of it or don't want you to know my feelings, it's just... Now you're worried about me and you don't have to be. My mother corrupted me, that's for sure. I don't regret becoming evil because of her and casting the curse, because that's how I found Henry and you. But the thoughts that run through my head sometimes when I'm alone and have time to think, I wouldn't have them if it weren't for her. It's like... like she evaluates everything before I do or say it. Like I need her approval first and when I don't get it, I feel ashamed and dirty and worthless. I'm not worthy of you being my girlfriend, Emma. You are so much better than me. I'm full of flaws and possibly one day that will lead to you suffering."

"Hey, stop!", Emma interrupted her and raised her hand. Her head was buzzing from the many partially incoherent things Regina was presenting to her in this rapid flood of words. Her look was full of pity as she looked at her and then pulled her into her arms. "The fact that Cora has poisoned your thoughts in such a way, unfortunately we can't change it from one moment to the next. But you have to remember one thing: You would never be capable of hurting me and you are anything but worthless. Henry and you are the best things that have ever happened to me and all I want is for you to be okay." She felt Regina trembling in her arms and gently stroked her back. "Hey, I'm here. I'll always be here if I can." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, realizing that her cancer had really brought out Regina's emotional trauma.

"I don't know how it came to this," Regina suddenly whispered.

"To what?"

She leaned away from Emma so she could look into her eyes, even though hers were probably red-rimmed from trying not to cry. "Now, when you need me the most, I'm the one getting all the attention. It's disgusting."

"Regina, oh my God! It's not disgusting!", Emma indignantly said before her voice became gentle again. "It's human! You're feeling way too much at once, and I'm not innocent of that. But it doesn't even matter, because we're not having a competition here to see who has the right to whine the loudest. We all have our feelings, and no one is going to hold them back to please the other, understand?"

Regina snorted softly and looked away from her. "If it were that easy, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now at all."

"I know. But since it's just not that easy, we'll talk about it now and we'll talk to Zelena later, too. I can't force you to do it, but I wish you'll take the pills Archie suggested and for that I will make any compromise necessary."

Sighing, the brunette turned her gaze to the house where Henry had disappeared quite a while ago. "We should finally go inside, your parents got there before us and I don't feel like being watched from behind the curtains," she finally muttered somberly as her gaze slid to David's pickup.

"Okay, let's go in then," Emma agreed, not expecting any further confirmation. It was enough for her that Regina had listened to her and hopefully understood what she was talking about. When she opened the car door, a gush of cold air immediately rushed into the heated car interior, making her shiver. "Still no snow, yet it's been this cold for weeks," she commented as she climbed out of the Mercedes and gratefully grabbed Regina's arm, which she offered her.

"After all, I guess we can expect a white Christmas," she nodded, slowly leading Emma over to the entrance.

They didn't even get to ring the bell before the door was already opened by Zelena. Her long, curly hair fell open down her back and she wore a dark green velvet dress. "There you are. I was just coming to see if you had escaped," she grinned.

"Maybe we should have, because looking at you, we're both underdressed," Emma stated with a glance at her dress. "Hi, sister-in-law." She hugged the red-haired witch in greeting, then stepped into the dark hallway to make room for Regina.

"Nonsense, we don't have a dress code here. I just felt like wearing the dress, what other occasion would I wear it to? Hello, sis."

Regina gave her a wry smile and rolled her eyes as Zelena pressed a kiss to her cheek after they hugged.

"Come on, get in, the turkey's waiting," she then said, shooing them both into the living room where she had set up the table where everyone was seated.

"Emma, my honey!" Snow called out immediately, as soon as Emma entered the room. She jumped up from her seat and hugged her daughter in a vice-like embrace, then held her a little away from her by the shoulders so that she could scrutinize her face. "You're getting thinner and thinner," she observed after a few moments.

"Then we're lucky there's a feast today," Emma smirked wryly and sat down in the empty seat next to Henry before Regina took a seat on her other side. "Hello, everyone," she greeted the group afterwards and then closed her eyes for a brief moment, glad to be sitting again.

"Is everything all right?", Henry wanted to know quietly.

Emma knew immediately that he wasn't talking about how she was feeling, but that he was referring to the long absence of her and his mom. "I think so," she finally nodded, stroking his hair briefly.

"Ma!" he shouted indignantly as he ducked out from under her hand.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist," she smirked, then took the pills Regina had discreetly slipped her as unobtrusively as possible. It bugged her beyond belief that everyone could see her doing it, and she felt her parents' stares on her as if they were burning into her flesh, but it didn't help. She had to go by the clock and now was the time for her medication.

"I'll see if I can give Zelena a hand in the kitchen," Regina finally said before she rose from the table again and left the room.

"I'll do that too," Henry then said, following suit.

Astonished, Emma looked after the two before turning her gaze to Snow and David, who were sitting across from her at the table. "Well, I don't," she said with a shrug and a wry grin, to maybe lighten the situation a bit.

"Is everything all right between you and Regina?" Snow's questioning voice asked as soon as they were alone in the room except for Robin and Neal.

"Of course everything is fine between Regina and me. What kind of question is that?", Emma immediately wanted to know.

Contrite, Snow looked at her husband and finally back at her daughter. "We're worried about you, sweetheart. First, you're over half an hour late, then you're staying outside in the car... You can confide in us if anything is bothering you."

Emma could hardly bear the pitying look from Snow's eyes, and her father, who had his arm resting over the back of her chair and was looking equally contrite, wasn't much help either. "You wonder if something's bothering me? Of course, something is bothering me!" she countered incredulously, struggling not to let her voice get too loud. "I have cancer, if you can remember, and Regina is totally sacrificing herself for me. She would chop off both her hands if it would help me in any way. So yes, we're depressed and yet we're here today because we were hoping to forget all this crap for at least one night, but obviously someone always has to start it." She would have loved to get up and rush out of the room right now, but she couldn't trust her circulation and didn't want to put Regina through a fall, so she gritted her teeth tightly and stared into her lap instead.

"Sorry we brought it up," David said softly then. "You know, we hardly get to see you anymore, and when we do, like today, you seem very unhappy."

Emma laughed bitterly and looked up at him. "And that's my fault? It's not like we're forbidding you to come visit, is it? I hardly ever go out the door anymore, I can't manage it, so you can give up any hope of running into me by chance in town." This admission tugged uncomfortably at her guts, but now that they were already pouring their hearts out to each other, she wasn't going to hold anything back either. "And I'm not unhappy, Dad. I'm just... I'm exhausted," she then added softly, letting her head sink into her hand, her elbow propped on the table. "Living is exhausting."

With eyes full of sorrow, Snow rose and came around the table to wrap her arms around Emma from behind. "We love you, no ifs and buts," she whispered against her ear, holding her close.

"Your mother is right. It may sometimes seem like we don't know what we're talking about, but then it's just the concern for you speaking. We are here for you. And for Regina, too," David added, taking Emma's hand across the table. "We don't want you to be afraid to ask us for help, because we're always ready to give it to you."

Emma took a deep breath and fixed her eyes on the place setting in front of her. She feared she might burst into tears after all if she met her parents' eyes, so she waited a while to collect herself. "Thank you, I know," she finally brought out, glad that at that moment Zelena, Regina and Henry re-entered the living room laden with bowls and pans.

"Everyone to your places, dinner is served," Zelena announced loudly, shooing Snow back to her chair as she placed the platter of turkey in the center of the table.

David, meanwhile, caught the two children and sat them in their high chairs.

Finally, they all sat around the table and marveled at the numerous dishes.

"I'm glad you all came. I hope you will enjoy the food. It's all fresh and prepared without magic... well, almost without. The turkey was still a bit raw, I helped there," Zelena began to speak.

Everyone had to laugh at her words.

"Well then, enjoy!" she opened the meal.

"Wait," Snow interrupted. "Shouldn't we all say what we're thankful for first?"

Emma looked at Regina with a grin, who took her hand and returned the smile.

"Sure, you're welcome to start," Zelena said, shrugging her shoulders at Snow.

"Okay, so... I'm grateful to be able to sit here with my whole family and enjoy this lovely meal," the short-haired brunette said. "And I especially want to thank you, Zelena, for inviting us and making this possible in the first place."

Zelena gave her a brief smile. She still wasn't used to actually being considered a family member and not just the Wicked Witch of Oz anymore.

"I couldn't agree more," David stated. "Thank you, Zelena."

"And thank you for giving me the chance to join your family circle. I know I've made mistakes... and I'm sorry," Zelena said honestly.

"I'm thankful for my moms," Henry joined in, leaning forward to look at Emma and Regina. "No matter how bad things look, no matter if monsters or diseases threaten you, you're always there for me."

Regina swallowed the lump in her throat and looked away from him with a touched smile. "And I'm thankful to have a son like you," she countered. "I'm thankful that you all gave me a second chance, and a third one, even though I might not have deserved it. And you never gave up on me or doubted me," she then addressed Emma directly.

Smiling, Emma leaned in and kissed her gently. "Not too long ago, I thought my biggest worry was what my parents would think of me having a relationship with their worst enemy," she then said quietly. She had to grin when she saw Snow's face turn red. "Meanwhile, I'm more worried that this might be the last Thanksgiving I spend with all of you." She paused, and immediately noticed how quiet it had become around the table, as if everyone was completely transfixed on her lips. Thoughtfully, she briefly stroked her fingers over the tree of life on her bracelet before lifting her gaze again. "But however it ends, I am thankful to be here today, for finding my parents, my son, and you." She looked Regina in the eye and squeezed her hand. "And if it's meant to be, and it's my fate that this is my last Thanksgiving with you, I'm still thankful because I'm not alone anymore, I have you all by my side."


After the delicious meal, at which they all had satiated themselves, they spent the rest of the evening together. Robin and Neal played with the girl's toys while they kept snacking on the colorful cookies. Emma, Henry and the Charmings passed the time with a game of Monopoly while Regina helped her sister clean up the kitchen.

"The dinner was wonderful. Thank you for the lovely evening," Regina said honestly as she dried the plates Zelena handed her after she did the dishes.

"You praise my food," Zelena stated dryly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It was good. Why shouldn't I praise it then?" Regina retorted sighing.

Questioningly, Zelena looked at her from the side. "Is everything all right? You were pretty quiet at dinner."

"My mother taught me that you don't talk with your mouth full."

Rolling her eyes, the redhead turned back to the dishes.

"Sorry," Regina then said softly, who lowered her hand with the dish towel and shook her head briefly. "I'm... I'm probably just nervous because so much is uncertain. Right now, Emma's doing relatively well, but you never know what the next tests will show, and soon she'll be back on chemo."

"And that's all?" Zelena wanted to know with a raised eyebrow.

Regina looked at her indignantly. "Isn't that enough?"

"It is, but you seem like you have something weighing on your mind. I know you better than you might think. Just spit it out, it won't be that bad."

Taking another deep breath, Regina glanced over her shoulder briefly, as if to make sure no one was eavesdropping on their conversation. "Archie thinks I should be on medication."

"What kind of medication?" Zelena wanted to know.

"That... doesn't matter now," Regina snapped, "It's just... I'm afraid they'll make me sleepy and I'll be too sound asleep to overhear when Emma tries to wake me."

"Just say you want me to move back in," Zelena grinned at her.

Regina rolled her eyes and crumpled the dishtowel in her fist. "So, you would do that? You don't have to be there all the time. It would be perfectly fine if you and Robin only spent the nights in the guest room," she explained nervously.

"Now stop freaking out. Of course I would, what are siblings for? Just tell me when and how and I'll be there," Zelena replied immediately. "Now come here." With that, she pulled her sister to her chest and held her in a tight embrace for a few seconds.

Relieved, Regina relaxed her tensed muscles a bit and let her forehead sink against Zelena's shoulder. "Thank you."