Author's Note: I don't own Naruto.
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Hey I'm back again. Thankyou for the wonderful response. So many follows and favorites. I'm excited for what's to come in this chapter. Which is why I named it Love.
squeals in excitement*
I have tried to be as canon-compliant (both manga and anime, and the lite-novels) as much as possible, and left the time stamps of the events in this fic vague, because I couldn't find an official timeline. Feel free to assume on your own if these events happened within few weeks, or within a few months.
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Here is Chapter 6 of 8. Leave me a review. Lots of love.
Chapter Summary : A midnight stroll, a dinner reservation, and some revelations that slowdown the world around Sasuke Uchiha. While Sakura's light always guides him well, Sasuke finds out about the fuel that has been running her. Psst. It is a four letter word.
Chapter - 6 - To Love
Sasuke's mind had been occupied ever since that fateful evening when he decided to do right by Itachi's will. He had spent over a week pondering about how to do that. Alas, no luck there, and Sasuke always ended up empty handed. But this was the 4th time in a row that he could not fall back asleep. Even the daily hard work he put into helping citizens of the village, waking up early and reaching home late, nothing could not tire him into a peaceful sleep, or any kind of sleep for that matter. And when it could, he always found himself awake sooner rather than later, up until crimson streaked dawn in Konoha skies. So Sasuke resolved to do something else today, apart from tossing and turning on Naruto's futon. And hence, here he was, walking the streets of Konoha when the sky was deep purple in color and stars adorned the roads he was walking, except for the occasional street lamp here and there.
Of course, the way Itachi intended his will, Sasuke needed to do it by being Konoha's savior, always keeping a watchful eye over it. But how would Sasuke ever know about what threatens the village and its residents, it is not like any Hokage would ever sit and discuss all matters of necessity with him, and even Sasuke did not have the extensive foresight Itachi had. Moreover, would the village even want him to look over? They were only barely accepting his help as of now. Not to forget, team seven was still recuperating from their losses, and Sasuke being a war criminal in several countries would not help deal with enemy threats either. He was what was considered an enemy as of today by many.
As thoughts enveloped Sasuke's mind, the Black haired teen walked aimlessly through Konoha, almost reaching the village entrance. Tired of thinking, he sat down on a nearby bench and closed his eyes. To do right by Itachi's will, but how? He kept repeating to himself, hoping to sit long enough on the question so that he can find an answer, but each and every time realizing that he had run out of every option for some or other reason. And as the wind tickled him, the Uchiha fell into a silent stupor, dreaming of a perfect Konoha with Itachi leading the people.
Sasuke jerked alert at once as something poked his shoulder. "Sasuke-kun?" called out a refined voice that he knew all too well.
"Sakura?" he looked up at the pink haired girl, surprised, having not seen her in almost a week. "What are you doing here?" he asked, looking around ascertaining his surroundings, and he quickly realized he fell asleep sitting by a tree.
Sakura chuckled looking at his state of being. His hair was disheveled and stood up in the back, and his cloak was all wrinkled as he had rested against a stone bench. His Katana was nowhere in sight though, although Sakura did now know if it was for the better or not, if he wanted to sleep out here in the open.
"I am coming back from Suna, what are you doing here?" she asked.
Sasuke's disorientation at waking up in unknown surroundings had disappeared by now. As he stood up to face her, perhaps standing a little too close, he strangely felt as if he had gained another inch or two over her since they fought side by side in the war. He wondered how this had not come to his notice all this time. But then again, he figured it might just be because they were mostly sitting in Ichiraku's.
"I couldn't sleep. I thought a walk might help," he murmured.
Sakura let out a small laugh as she shook her head. Her short pink hair brushed her shoulder ever so slightly, the one that hadn't been longer than a crisp bob in the past few years.
"Well, it seems like it did," she teased.
"Maybe," he replied, shaking his head and looking around as to where he was. Mm, not so far away he could see the village entrance, perhaps that's where she was coming from.
"Ready to go back?" She asked, gesturing in the opposite direction.
Sasuke nodded in response. But her viridescent eyes suddenly locked on something else behind him, compelling Sasuke to turn around and look. She was starting at the bench, more like reminiscing. And Sasuke did not have to think any longer to understand what transpired. This was the very same bench he left her sleeping on, the first time he left the village.
"I should not have put you under a genjutsu," he said, trying to draw her attention. "Not then, not anytime".
"Huh? What?" She said, completely missing everything.
"I should not have put you under genjutsu, ever", he repeated, a rare occurrence. Her face flushed momentarily, but she gained composure in an instant. When did she learn that?
"Sasuke-kun," she said, exhaling a lush smile as she tilted her head, "You are forgiven", she said, patting his hand quickly.
"Let's walk now," she turned, not waiting for his response before she led the way. Sasuke understood that this conversation had ended for her. Although he did not want to pull on that thread anymore, somehow he felt compelled to ask one more question. Something that suddenly struck him, making him feel he needed to know.
"How did you know I was going to leave the village that night?" he asked as he followed her.
"Mm? I don't know. I just knew," she said, no hesitation.
But Sasuke continued looking at her, lest she not not even try to recall the reasons she had.
Somehow, it worked. "I guess, when you were really bothered after the fight you had on the hospital rooftop, and whatever Kakashi-sensei told you did not make much difference, something told me you'd try to leave," she shrugged as her eyes momentarily met his. "Still couldn't stop you though", she said casually, focusing ahead of her again.
Sasuke remained silent. He knew what must have been going on in her mind, now that he knew about the guilt she carried. It had become so easy to understand his friends as he slowly made an effort to let go of his old ways. Who knew Kakashi would be right this many times. So Sasuke was the one to break silence again.
"I did care about you, Sakura," he answered the question that must have been lingering in her mind for over three years, and somehow accepting it himself.
Sakura halted in her path as she turned to look at him, but she remained silent. Sasuke continued.
"And however much the idiot irritates me, him as well. I want you to know this - a part of me was not ready to lose people close to my heart," he said being truthful to himself.
Surprise made itself evident in Sakura's face as she parted her lips in wonder. ""Oh..", she fumbled speechlessly, "I never thought you would say that."
Sasuke let out a low chuckle. "I wouldn't have, but someone told me that my old ways would not create new change", he said as they continued walking.
"Someone?", there was curiosity in her voice, and if there was anything else, Sasuke did not identify it.
"Kakashi," he revealed. Sakura simply nodded and maintained her silence.
Somehow, there seemed no meaning in keeping things hidden, from Sakura. He only recently realized that Kakashi was wise. And Naruto had seemed wise that one time he tried sitting him and her down for a talk about his nightmares, it would never have struck him by himself that quickly. And Sakura, perhaps she was always wise, but he could recognize now that she was not naive anymore. Or maybe everyone was always wise and Sasuke himself was ignorant. Who could say. But atleast he was trying not to be ignorant now.
There was a certain tranquil hanging in the serenity of the night, Sasuke thought. The wind was howling an unseemly ghostly melody, but every breeze that hit him only sent him further into relaxation. He could get used to such nights. Some might feel a chill run through their spines in the silence, yet he somehow felt uncharacteristically warm. But Sasuke still made a mental note to not fall asleep outdoors again, at the very least, directly under the elements, lest something make him sick. So it seemed like a good thing that Sakura found him when she did. Although, she would quickly heal him, it was best to prevent illness.
Suddenly thinking of something, Sasuke posed a question.
"I thought team 7 was not being sent on missions," he phrased it, rather confused.
Sakura's gaze met him half way and she responded with a yes.
"Then why were you in Sunagakure?" he continued, careful not to pose it in any impolite manner.
"Oh," she recognized. "I was not on a mission. I went there to meet Gaara-san. The Kazekage."
Sasuke was taken aback by the revelation. Gaara. The Sand ninja he fought with during chunin exams almost three years ago. Someone Naruto turned around too, from what he knew now. But what Sasuke did not know was how close Sakura had become to him, and why she would visit him.
"Oh", he said, not knowing if he should prod on or pause with this line of questioning.
Sakura however, did not notice any of his internal conflict and continued. "There is talk going on about opening new mental health clinics for children affected by the war. It would be better if every village understands why," she said looking into the distance.
Oh! So she was an envoy, Sasuke relaxed, as she continued.
"It was becoming increasingly difficult everyday seeing them in anguish. Many had lost their parents or their limbs, or the worst of all, hope, because of what they saw in the war, or in the tsukuyomi. There had to be a way to heal them," she said.
Sasuke could hear the pain in her voice as she recited these facts that were very close to her heart, though it was just her line of work. "This initiative will do that," she said, finishing with a smile.
Yes. Sasuke's eyes softened. What would he have not given for someone to approach him with that after his clan fell.
"I… Naruto and I would have benefitted from that during our time", he said, and she nodded along in agreement. "I hope it is successful", he said wholeheartedly, his honesty reflecting in his voice and his midnight eyes. Her eyes sparkled as if she received a long awaited assurance, and a smile grew on her lips.
Suddenly, the wind picked up monstrously, blowing into their faces much fiercely than before. As Sasuke clung to his cloak, using it to shield most of his face, Sakura wrapped her arms around her face and tightly shut her eyes until it calmed down.
"You should have camped for the night", he said looking at her as she dusted off the dirt the wind laid upon her and the essentials she had been carrying on her back.
"I was only a few hours away so I thought it would be nice to sleep in my own bed as soon as I can," she sighed nervously. Sasuke acknowledged silently. "Besides, it's just wind. No one's getting sick", she said.
Sasuke's questions did not subside with her silence or with the wind. They only seemed to grow.
"Sakura, why did you become a medical ninja?" he questioned, as they resumed walking. In all the years he had spent outside the village, running from the truth and the bonds he had now cherished, Sakura seemed to have made a name for herself. Exceptionally skilled medic, one of the few people to be able to summon Katsuyu, she was responsible for healing a lot of people during the war. And Sasuke somehow wanted to know how all of that began in the years he was absent.
Sakura however, seemed to be surprised at the question. "Well this is embarrassing," she said nervously, scratching her hand. "The two of you kept fighting and getting hurt. I couldn't just stand and watch anymore."
Huh. Sasuke's surprise left his mouth in barely a whisper, and the pink haired kunoichi continued. "My chakra reserves were lower than you guys, and I could not do much most of the time. So when Tsunade-sama arrived, I asked her to train me. Honestly, I didn't even know what to expect. But I quickly realized that since my chakra control was precise, I was good at medical ninjutsu", she revealed all. It was this impeccable chakra control that had leveled the Zetsu during the war, and later punched Kaguya into oblivion as they sealed the mother of all chakra.
"I suppose it helps you pack a good punch too," Sasuke smirked in acknowledgement of her prowess.
Sakura let out a little laugh. "No, actually. Medical ninja are not allowed to enter combat," she chuckled, much to the surprise of Sasuke. "We cannot be the first ones to die. Most of them are genin anyway, and we are not allowed to risk it, since it is so hard to teach."
Not knowing much about what medical ninjutsu exactly entailed, Sasuke raised an eyebrow in question.
Sensing that he did not understand, Sakura elaborated for him. "You know, since not everyone with good chakra control necessarily understands the medical aspects. This is not something we plan as we go, so there is no room to make mistakes. It is… a lot of intricate biology that we need to understand and memorize, and chakra control is only a little part that helps us heal things", she explained. "It's like a tool."
Sasuke wondered momentarily, how it would have been if they were allowed to make mistakes. Anyway, he seemed to have made more than enough just for everyone in Konoha.
"-There is a learning curve too," Sakura said, breaking his thoughts. Learning curve. "So, to die after reaching such precision after years is.. Wasted.. For lack of a better word. So we can't be the ones to die first, otherwise there would be no one left to heal," she said with a smile.
"Ah," Sasuke responded in acknowledgement. Yet, somehow she had managed to cross that barrier ahead of her, and Sasuke's eyes darted to her forehead.
"Then again, that's why I practice this," she said, pointing to the small purple rhombus that flashed between her brows. Sasuke was surprised at how synchronized her explanation was running to answer the questions that were forming in his mind, but did not find a way to voice it. "Not only does it take care of the low chakra thing, but I can also use it to allow me to heal quickly. There is no way I will stand on the sidelines anymore," she shrugged playfully.
She goes into combat because she wants to, because she chose to. And he respected her immensely for it. Not just one or two aspects of her. But for everything she was, he realized right away.
Something about this entire ordeal made a smile force its way out onto Sasuke's lips. She had gotten stronger. Way stronger in the short period of time between the bridge and the war. But then, was she ever weak? The patience she had possessed was remarkable and that was what made her who she was today. Ofcourse, not to dismiss the fact that she always had a full grasp on her knowledge, and her chakra control was always finesse - something he witnessed ever since their first Mission. It was just that, like Naruto and Sasuke, she required someone who helped her sharpen the skills she had already.
"It suits you, Sakura," he stated. She held her head high in acknowledgement of his words and beamed with pride as well, and Sasuke almost felt the same. Momentarily, he even wanted to place his fingers upon the purple mark that always adorned her now. Here was a woman with no Kekkai genkai, no wild beast sealed inside her, or a reincarnated being of some sort, rising up to her full potential even when she began from nothing. And that gave Sasuke hope. That someday, he would achieve peace from within his nothingness too.
"Thankyou, Sasuke-kun," she said as she stopped and smiled. Sasuke stopped too, now that she seemed to have reached her destination. "And thankyou for walking me home", she smiled, and walked inside.
That was what preceded the most peaceful and dreamless sleep he had had in a while. Things that hope can do.
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Sasuke entered the usually bustling restaurant a few streets away from Ichiraku's. This one was called Yakiniku Q and it was one of the better spots to have a meal in Konoha. So to Sasuke's wonder, the restaurant was not filled with citizens of Konoha, people usually unknown to him, but with Konoha eleven, and their acquaintances. He did not understand why or how Kakashi had invited him here of all places. It was one of those places that garnered him side eyes and nervous looks the two times they had tried to have dinner here. It didn't take long to realize that for team 7, Ichiraku's would be the best suited place for a while. So when Kakashi asked him to come here, Sasuke naturally had thought it would entail some thought exercise or as a meeting point to go somewhere else. But his questions faded away soon as he entered the place, now decorated with ribbons and a congratulations banner. What was even going on.
So he did the first and only thing he could. Not hightail out of the place, but to try and find either Naruto or Kakashi. But the fact that he could sense Naruto's chakra most of the time told him that he had a higher chance of finding Kakashi here than the blonde, who was off somewhere else. So he began, walking into the crowd, looking for a face with a mask or a head with silver hair, or as much as Sasuke hated, a hand with an Icha-Icha book.
It did not take him long to find the master-ninja standing in a corner, making what Sasuke could only deem as small talk from this distance, with Shikamaru Nara. But before he could speak, or even approach Kakashi, a hush ran through the crowd and heads turned towards the entrance. And just like everyone, Sasuke's eyes darted towards it too, to see what the commotion (or lack thereof, all of a sudden) was all about. Naruto had walked in tagging along Sakura, who was much to his surprise, blindfolded.
Sasuke's mind lit up in high alert as he tried to recollect what day it was.
Was it her birthday? No, it couldn't be. And Sakura was dressed almost the same as usual, with only a few noticeable differences. She had donned a neat red colored outfit with a higher collar instead of the usual jacket and pink skirt she always preferred. A wide utility bag was clasped on the back of the black obi at her waist, and she wore her pink elbow and knee protectors. The red ribbon that usually tied her hair up was gone, and was replaced by her forehead protector, signifying that she had come back from a mission, or at least from the Hokage office.
So what is everyone wishing her congratulations about? A question loomed, and Sasuke decided to observe.
Naruto quickly got rid of the blindfold as Sakura opened her eyes, suddenly blinded by the lights and everyone's voices went up at once.
"Surprise!"
"Congratulations Sakura."
"Wonderful job!"
"Thankyou!"
"We always believed in you."
Sakura's eyes watered at the sight in front of her. With all of her friends having planned this surprising evening, she was sure that this would become one of her more cherished memories. Sakura gave in as Ino came closer to give her a hug, and then so did Hinata, and Tenten.
"We wanted to do something nice for you. Do you like it?" the blonde girl chimed.
"And we invited everyone that we could think of," said the blushing girl with lavender eyes.
"Yes. Yes. I love this so much." Sakura cried as all the girls squealed together.
"Alright, alright, girls, settle down", came Shikamaru. "It is only fair that the sixth Hokage gets to say a few words to her, on behalf of all of us."
Kakashi murmured something that sounded very much like 'not yet' and took up center stage. Standing right underneath the congratulations banner as everyone gathered around in a circle, he took a deep breath and began.
"First of all, my most sincere apologies that I was the best they could find to make this speech, the previous Hokage were not fond of reincarnation," the silver haired ninja cracked a joke that sent a round of chuckles around the room, and Sasuke laughed internally. "You deserve more, Sakura".
"Secondly, we hope you would appreciate and accept this break from the hospital today, for we all know how busy you are going to get starting a few days."
Ooh! Sakura must have got promoted, thought Sasuke. That would explain a lot. And the fact that she had told him a few nights ago that there was talk about opening new clinics, pieces fell into place in Sasuke's mind as to what today's gathering was all about. There would be more medics needed. That is probably where she will become busy soon. But did this promotion come as a surprise to her recently, or did she just not share this with him that night? Either way, she deserved this, Sasuke had no doubts as to that fact, so he smiled.
"But mostly, Sakura," the masked ninja continued garnering a dull silence from the crowd, "we are very very proud of you, and we are all very thankful to you, that you have been looking over all of us so thoughtfully," he continued, and suddenly, this seemed to be going somewhere way beyond a promotion.
"Your initiative to open mental health clinics for children affected by the war has given new hope to so many lives today. And with your eloquent words throwing a light on the pain many of us here struggled with at some point in our lives, Konoha has chosen to accept the initiative. Now, the Gokage Council cannot ignore it for much longer too. So, I think I speak on behalf of all of us here when I say, thank you for the love you show us every single day. We are indebted to you for the rest of our lives."
The wind was knocked right out of Sasuke as every single thought in his mind crashed with fervent force and all of them were replaced with one single thing. Sakura was the one behind starting these clinics.
Sakura.
Sasuke's mind replayed many words and sentences he overheard in the past few minutes, to the past few days.
…the love you show us everyday…
…recognize the pain that many of us here struggled with…
…looking over all of us so thoughtfully…
…mental health clinics for children affected by war…
…Your Initiative…
…'I just couldn't stand and watch anymore'...
…'There is no way I'll stand and watch on the sidelines'...
"Sakura," he gasped, as he realized. She did not watch from the sidelines anymore. But why?
Sasuke's feet stumbled momentarily as he walked towards Kakashi, who was now surrounded by Naruto and Sakura who were both showering her with adoration. He even noticed a small present wrapped up in her hands, something that screamed very Ino.
"Come now, let us eat," Kakashi said, leading the duo in front of him as he walked towards Sasuke, or rather the booth behind him. Sakura slowed a pace or two behind, looking around whispering gratitude to everyone that showered her with praise, with glistening eyes. And Sasuke looked at her, in awe, in wonder, and in solemn indebtedness.
Sasuke was not even aware of his movements when he held her by the elbow just as she was crossing him, and gave her a small tug. Right now, all he felt was that amidst the gigantic storm clouds that loomed over his decrepit heart, Sakura suddenly saved him somehow. Heart?
"You never told me," he breathed out, his voice barely above a gentle whisper, just as Sakura came to a sudden halt. There was nothing that could calm the ferocious beating of his heart within his chest.
But as her Jade eyes met his Obsidian ones, every uncertainty died down. All at once there seemed to be no one around them, as the world slowed down for Sasuke.
"What?" she asked, as a response to his unmapped question.
"That it was your idea to establish these clinics. Why?", he said meekly, his gaze transfixed on her. Who would have thought he would lose his voice like this?
"Oo!" she began in surprise. "I must have- Oh well, I suppose I never said it specifically. It must have slipped", she said, her elbow still in the crook of his palm, staying there unstrained, not in any rush to leave. But Sasuke? He definitely lost his voice after that, and silence bloomed again, sending him into a speechless trance.
"It was more important to start them anyway, right?" she questioned, pulling him out of the haze.
"...Yes…", he mustered, and suddenly, like a tsunami washing away the sands of the shore, someone pulled her away, leaving his hand hollow, and pushing him into a nebulous chasm, as the only gravity that held him there seemed to be floating away.
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The rest of the night passed in complete fog, and Sasuke's responses, if any, to the people trying to make conversation were by default and unthinking. His eyes were frozen on her, and his mind was only and only racing to recollect every single interaction, every single conversation, and every single silence that spread between them since the day he first met her. Why did she do this? Why did she never say anything? Why had he never seen this side of her before? And Sasuke did not have answers to any of these questions, or a million more waiting in line after these, the ones he could not even word just yet. The only things he could see were the thousand moments he could recollect of Sakura, and the only things he could hear were only the million words she had said to him, and the only thing he remembered was the words - I couldn't stand and watch anymore, and even though these words were not said in this context, he did not doubt for one second that they belonged here.
Yet within this chaotic mess inside his mind, he suddenly felt so alive. Today, he realized, someone had done something selfless for him, almost since the day he had been left as the lone survivor. But what Sakura did was nothing like what Naruto did, or Kakashi for that matter. Because Sasuke understood that Naruto could do what he did because he had been through the same loneliness as Sasuke. But Sakura, she was someone who grew up with all the love she could get. But, in spite of never facing any isolation like him and Naruto, she understood his pain. She went what seemed to be above and beyond, to do something for people like him. And she did all of this though she would gain nothing out of it. She did all of this without taking credit for it, much less boast about it openly. How?
But his question has answered itself. She did it because she understood him. That was the only possible reason, his thoughts led him. She did it because she understood him and had seen him suffer through the pain it caused. She did it because she understood him and did not want anyone else to go through it. She understood him because she somehow came to understand his isolation. She did it because she understood, because she felt the pain he felt.
The pain that he felt, Sasuke's breath hitched.
Was this how deeply she understood him? Was this what she always meant? How did he never see that?
Sasuke finally realized that the girl who wanted his superficial attention was now long gone, if there was one to begin with, as she grew into a woman who understood him without any expectation in return. But maybe she understood him for a while now, through all the tears she shed upon being abandoned by him in the past three years. Maybe she had understood him for a while now but it was not in her power to do something about it. Maybe she would always understand him, and she finally made a difference today. And for the first time in a while, Sasuke couldn't move his eyes from her to look away.
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A/N : If you like it, leave me a review. I really love it when you do that.
Also, this was one of the first headcannons that came to my mind when I was writing these two in this fic - the way he found out she opened the clinics. I absolutely think Sasuke would become speechless upon seeing such an action from Sakura. And that would unlock a lot of emotions within him.
What do you think?
Up next :) - His eyes are always on her. His care, pouring for her. And, she always had answers.
