Author's Note: I don't own Naruto.
I am very late. Really sorry. I couldn't edit this chapter on Thursday like I usually do so that it's up for posting by Friday. I had a boat-load of work that was dropped on me out of nowhere and it has literally ruined a lot of plans I made. Nevertheless. Here I am.
Chapter 8 of 8. Canon compliant. I hope you like it. Thank you for reading.
Chapter - 8 - Sasuke's Road To Redemption
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Sakura was stunned at those words that fell out of the Uchiha's mouth ever so effortlessly.
It's your hair Sakura, I always notice, he had said, as his eyes darted back to the pink waterfall of her hair and a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips while the strands tickled his fingers.
I always notice, his words rang in her ears once more, taking her back to that day in the forest of death years ago. She was a mere kunoichi with no particular skills and the only one conscious to take care of her two teammates at death's door when she was yanked out and held by the very hair she thought to be her most precious possession. She remembered very well how the cold metal of her Kunai sliced through those pink strands as she decided not to let anything hold her back anymore.
But most of all, Sakura remembered the way Sasuke Uchiha was so enraged that someone took away her most prized possession, that he unleashed the cursed seal on their enemies.
I always notice. As if someone had broken someone close to him, and he would break them too.
I always notice. And finally, Sakura remembered the way she embraced him when nothing else calmed him down, mostly in fear that the burning seal would take him away from her.
But above all, the way he gave into someone's care after a long time. It was the day Sakura realized that she had fallen in love with Sasuke Uchiha, and the pinkette's heart rate rose as his words served as a reminder of the same.
And then, as Sasuke met her eyes, the world stood still around her.
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Clock ticked away through
Seconds, days, and seasons,
Now it feels like forever later
We are having this conversation;
Hoping for something, anything,
Pulling to slow time's strings,
But today, let's end all strife
Under a sky full of shiny things.
Moonlight is our witness,
As we stand face to face, pining,
When our eyes meet, wounds heal,
As we name this remarkable thing.
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'Conversation' by (c)mypoemscorner (Instagram)
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Suddenly, Sasuke breathed deeply, the rise and fall of his chest alerting Sakura to the hand she still rested on his chest. The pinkette's eyes widened as she blushed furiously at the realization and instinctively withdrew her hand, stumbling a step or two backwards. Never had her heart beaten this furiously, and the medical ninja was sure Sasuke realized it too, by his reaction.
Something suddenly lifted off of Sasuke's chest breaking the Uchiha out of the trance he was in. As a hollowness set in, he looked down to where her warm hand rested mere moments ago, only it was now devoid of her touch. Appalled, his hand immediately darted towards her to convince it to return, only stopping mid-way, when his eyes locked with her viridian gaze once more.
As green eyes stared back from a flushed face, reddening the pink-haired girl in front of him, it did not take him more than a moment to figure out why her cheeks burned and why a self-conscious expression surrounded her aura. Sasuke immediately pinked at the realization, mirroring her. Her hand was resting on his chest, drawing them closer in an intimate manner than any other time. And for once, Sasuke found himself speechless as well, as heat rose under his cheeks, and his heart paced faster than it ever had.
Huh. Maybe he did have an idea now, about what was happening to him. Maybe he knew what they called it.
"Goodnight, Sasuke-kun," Sakura suddenly blurted, rushing inside, not allowing him to say anything even if he could muster it somehow. "G-Good luck with your plans".
And the Uchiha remained standing as he watched her rush inside her house, her brilliant hue of blush immortalized in his mind, and a giddy feeling rooting in his heart, answering many of his questions, and her wise words ringing in his ears answered many of the remaining others.
Change is the only thing constant. And he had changed too. Today was standing proof of that.
She left something behind for him. Honest words and self-realization. And since then, he realized that there was a want within him now, to be better. He wants to do better now. And that was where he would start to find his path in the world.
Not just because someone expected him to change, not because he owed it as a promise to someone, not because he feels a connection to someone. This time, it will only be because he wants to.
He. Wants. To
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That was how, for the first time in a long time, Sasuke Uchiha woke up with a purpose the next morning. With a smile plastered to his face, and a warm feeling surrounding his heart, ones that were not generated by anger, hate, or bloodlust, he could see a destination for his abysmal life. And these feelings were born out of compassion, something he felt after a long time. And now, that purpose was his own, because he wanted to do good, not as an apology to anyone. That was the kind of person he was.
So he walked into the Hokage building as early as he could, to find Kakashi. Now that the silver haired ninja was officially the sixth Hokage, Sasuke found it easier to confess where he stood with regards to finding his own ninja way. A freedom he felt he did not have with the others.
A resounding bout of laughter, that sounded very much like the Fifth Hokage stopped Sasuke right outside the Hokage's office. Wasn't Kakashi supposed to be inside, now that he was officially Hokage? But his question was answered instantaneously as Kakashi's voice came in response to her. Something about handing over the reins officially, the raven haired boy could make out. Maybe this was not the right time to intervene, thought the Uchiha. But before he could step back, he heard the unmistakable mention of his clan.
"… Uchiha. I just need you to hear me out, Godaime-sama," came Kakashi's voice.
Sasuke froze, as his hand barely hovered over the doorknob contemplating whether or not to intervene. But a voice within him told him to be patient. So the raven haired boy withdrew his hand and leaned his ear towards the door to hear better.
"What do you want now? We have already had him pardoned," said the Fifth Hokage assertively.
'Pardoned'. They were talking about him, the Uchiha realized. But what was Kakashi asking of her, now that he was already forgiven. But the teenager could hear nothing. Was Kakashi not going to continue? Curious, Sasuke pressed his ear closer, only to realize that Kakashi had dropped his voice to speak to her. And he only hoped they had not realized he was standing just outside.
"Are you kidding me? I can't do that. That is not in my control" came Tsunade's loud growl. Sasuke jerked back, alarmed at the loud voice that made his ears ring. "Besides, they will never agree. You can stick out your neck and try if you want," she said.
Sasuke analyzed the scenario playing out on the other side of the door. Kakashi seemed to have asked Tsunade a favor pertaining to this raven haired boy, something beyond him being pardoned. Although Sasuke could not hear Kakashi's words after that, it seemed to be something the Godaime would have had to put a lot on the line for. And whether she was unwilling or if it was simply out of her hand, sasuke was still unsure.
But Sasuke could not hear anything in response again. Kakashi was speaking meekly once more and the Uchiha sighed before pressing his ear closer to the door, again, this time hoping no one would approach the office while he was eavesdropping like this. Thankfully, concentrating more paid off, and he could catch a few words from whatever Kakashi was saying.
'...very young… ...criminal… …forgive… …village's better future…', Sasuke made out from the muffled voice. Ugh, that didn't make much sense! Other than the fact that the 'very young' and 'criminal' were most certainly about him. Someday he would have to rip the silver-haired ninja's mask off.
The sound of a glass being set down on a wooden table resounded in the silence emanating from the room.
"We all have to live with the choices we make, Kakashi. You know that," Tsunade-sama sighed softly. "Besides, this should come from him. You can't force your choices on him."
What was Kakashi trying to make him do? And as a matter of fact, why did anyone try to make him do anything at all… Sasuke's thoughts tried to stretch, but he shut them down very quickly.
"Kakashi," Tsunade-sama began admonishing, "Forgiving the Uchiha-brat has already been a political mess. The other villages are questioning our methods. You know it is one of the reasons I voluntarily stepped down so that this hard-earned peace is not disrupted because a Hokage pardoned an international criminal. I'm only hoping it was worth it."
Sasuke's blood boiled at this and he clenched his hand by his side. His mismatched eyes started whirring and he almost slammed the door open in rage. Apparently, his pardon had cost her a lot. Huh. Take back the pardon and throw me in a prison cell then, at least you can get your office back, he wanted to scream. But even through this rage, the raven-haired savior could see his own foolishness behind those thoughts for the first time. Because what they were saying was the truth, and sometimes, it hurts to hear the truth.
Change is the only thing constant.
Change is the only thing constant.
'Change is the only thing constant', Sakura's voice resounded in his ears.
But I cannot change the past Sakura.
'Good is something you do'.
And with that, he understood. He can do better, implement change in the future. So he went on to take a deep breath and released his fist as he decided to continue overhearing the conversation once more.
Kakashi mumbled something once more to his frustration.
Tsunade scoffed. "The villages will forget soon, Kakashi, leave it be."
"Soon… Decade… Whatever, it's not like he will grow up right?" the Sixth Hokage replied snarkily.
She laughed in response. "My point remains. Anyway, I'm leaving in three days. Do you need anything else?"
Kakashi chuckled, then paused before answering. "Well, you told me that I can manage this, and your star pupil is managing the entire hospital, so.. I hope not."
Sasuke broke out a rare smile at the revelation. Sakura would be managing the entire hospital. Hmm… Suits her. Besides, it was not surprising after all she did for the benefit of the village. She deserved it.
"But, I wish they would forgive him sooner, Tsunade-sama. Taking down a literal goddess- it makes him one of the strongest ninja we have. His power is on another level."
Tsunade scoffed at this, and Sasuke shifted uncomfortably. Was she doubting his skills and mastery? Well he did have only one hand though, but all the training had paid off. They had improved very much. He had certainly improved.
"The boy still needs to grow up," she said. Sasuke rolled his eyes. "They might need his help someday, but he doesn't know the world beyond his revenge."
"Aah. But that is because he is cooped up here. How much can he know if we won't find a way for him to go out," Sasuke recognized a sly note dancing under Kakashi's voice. He was pretty sure that a smirk must be lingering under that black mask.
"Don't push it," Tsunade chided.
"Yare yare. You know, he is finally making bonds now."
"Is that so," came her resounding laugh, and Sasuke once again had to step back from the door in lieu of the noise being subjected onto his ears.
The Uchiha did not step forward again. It felt as if overhearing this conversation did him more good than harm in the end. Not that he would walk into the room agreeing with the duo right now, but he would be thinking about it certainly. Because only now he identified that there was another thing holding him back.
The fact that he had come here in the first place to meet with Kakashi and tell him that he wanted to do better. That was what seemed like the right move, until this morning. Now, not so much. Not enough to be specific. After overhearing this conversation, Sasuke realized that he had only chosen what to do, and not exactly chosen a path to walk on. Was he just going to place his cards on the table and let Kakashi give him missions? Because that couldn't be it. It didn't feel right.
The Uchiha turned around and silently walked away from the door to the Hokage's office where the current and former Hokage continued their conversation. But, it was time for him to actually choose a path. It was time to think about more than himself as well. It was time to think about the world, and know about the world as well. And he needed to think.
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Sasuke settled down on the fourth Hokage's head, a landmark carved on the Hokage rock, as he revisited the conversation he overheard. He could not help but acknowledge the reality in Kakashi and Tsunade-sama's conversation. He had never focused on the way people of the world were leading their lives. He had only focused on his revenge for the longest time, and then his own reintegration into society as he battled his many inner demons. But his actions were not forgotten by the world that easily. So Sasuke doing good in the world was not as simple as taking missions and making a difference in the usual way. And again, it didn't feel right.
Maybe he needed to understand the world for that first, the Uchiha realized.
Each member of Team 7 had different journeys and different goals. While all of them had demons of their own, everyone had so far been fruitful to accomplish what they wanted to. At least, they were on the right track. Naruto wanted to protect the village, and now he could; Sakura became the reliable kunoichi she is; and Kakashi - he finally got a family he was proud of. But one thing that was common among all of them was they all knew what the world around them was like. Something Sasuke did not. And they all were attached to the village. And it was only the latter that was troubling Sasuke currently. Because now, it was time he stopped standing halfway out the door, still in the dark about his destination.
So Sasuke asked himself the most obvious question. Was he attached to the village?
The raven-haired Uchiha knew what bonds were. The memories that connected him to the people around. An understanding that lingered in unspoken words and shared happiness and pain with them. The reason he cared about the people he shared those with.
But, he only felt attachment towards his friends by that definition. Did that count as being attached to the village?
Sometimes, just one person is enough, Iruka's words suddenly resounded in his mind. The Uchiha finally exhaled a sigh of relief.
A smirk washed over Sasuke's lips once more. It was enough for now, the few bonds that held him to this village were bonded to the rest of that village. Which means Sasuke was bonded to the village by extension.
So Sasuke asked himself a question once more - although unnecessarily because he already knew the answer - Would he protect the entire village if it meant protecting the few? The answer was an unquestionable yes. For Sakura, who was trying to make a difference because she understood him, and he would never let anything harm her. For Naruto, who considers the village his family and finds strength in protecting them. Yes, because the village is what his loved ones love unconditionally. But also yes, for the future generations that the village will house, those who deserve to grow up without pain. The pieces simply fell into place.
The Uchiha wondered about the other villages and lands beyond the borders of Konoha. The people who lived out there were not so different from here. Every life is the same, perhaps similar. Hm. Maybe, Sasuke could use Tsunade-sama's words as guidance. Then he would need to go out and understand the world. The other villages may come around sooner or later. And anyway, he was among the strongest The Leaf had in their repertoire. Taking down the rabbit goddess is not something anyone can take lightly. So he would be there to help anyone in need.
Yet, she left one last mystery, Sasuke felt.
Kaguya, he breathed as his thoughts settled upon her.
The progenitor of Chakra whom black Zetsu was trying to revive since what seemed like from the time his ancestor Indra came into being, through Madara and the entire Uchiha clan. Odd, that none of them knew of her story. Was the Zetsu that good at manipulating events? And how did nobody know about the White Zetsu army that she created? These kinds of things usually passed down as tales or folklore. But he had heard nothing of that sort even when he was learning under Orochimaru. Did no one in the ninja villages ever bother to keep an eye out for threats this big even after so many wars throughout human history? But most of all, why did she create an army if she could level whole battlefields alone?
And his mismatched eyes could conceive only one answer. Because she was scared of something bigger. And something bigger than her, the world was not ready for anything like that.
Biting down on his thumb to draw blood, Sasuke summoned Garuda instantly and entrusted it to deliver an urgent message to Kakashi. Although he came here to think about and figure out his ninja way as Naruto might put it, this was not not simply about Sasuke's path in life anymore. His thoughts had led him far more beyond that. This was about something that had the power to wreck catastrophic havoc if not dealt with carefully. This was about the safety of the whole world. So first, that.
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"So you think there must be a reason none of Kaguya's stories ever came to light," Kakashi said as his eyebrows wrinkled in deep thought.
"Yes. I think it is highly unlikely that something of this nature stayed hidden on it's own for so long.
"Hm. Even if the Black Zetsu manipulated the stone tablet left by the Sage of Six Paths, it is only fair that it should not have been the only thing left behind. We heard about the sage of six paths, so why not about his mother," Kakashi acknowledged, who was settled beside Sasuke on the landmark rock carving of the Hidden leaf village. "But, what do you want from me?" he questioned.
Ah. "I need to tell you one more thing before that," Sasuke began. Although his voice did not reflect the hesitation he was feeling at confessing the next thing, the Uchiha felt it to be necessary.
"I overheard your conversation with the fifth hokage this morning."
If Kakashi knew this already, he did not reveal it. Neither did it reflect in his eyes. But when the new Hokage did not respond at all, Sasuke gave him the obvious explanation that should have followed his statement.
"I went there to tell you that… I want to do good. I want to stay because of myself, not because of a promise I made to someone, or because it is expected of me."
Kakashi raised an eyebrow at that.
Sasuke sighed and inhaled, patience. "But after that, I left because I realized that I came with only a goal, not a path."
The silver-haired Hokage finally broke his silence. "And now you have chosen a path," he said with a mixture of both curiosity and obviousness in his voice. "You want to investigate her."
The teenager hummed in response. "But I understand that I have only been forgiven by Konoha and that the other ninja villages have not forgiven me yet. And I want to atone for my sins out in the world," he said. "I was hoping to do that too, as I investigate Kaguya."
"So, what do you want from me? The Hokage does not make personal calls, you know," his sensei said, wiggling his index finger at him.
"Make an exception this time," Sasuke smirked.
"What do you think I am doing?"
Sasuke tilted his head playfully. "You're a clone," he muttered.
"Touche," it muttered.
"You are the only one who can speak with the Gokage council and allow me to investigate Kaguya's origins. I know that stepping in foreign lands is difficult as it is and that my criminal status will not leave many places to investigate if the other villages are not open to receive me."
The clone studied the last Uchiha before he spoke as he gave the matter a thought. "I don't know how much of our conversation you overheard, but let me tell you this clearly. The villages will not offer you a pardon this quickly and directly even if we ask for it. The political condition is very precarious and… fragile. You know, newly established peace and all..."
Sasuke nodded in response, he knew, so he allowed the Sensei to continue.
"However, I understand that this is important. Both of the things you told me. So, just so you know – the only thing I can do here is to reinstate you as a ninja of our village. After that, I send you out on vaguely described missions so that we can investigate this. Ninja status would mean official business and as long as you stay out of trouble, it would mean.. immunity... of some sort. And even that would be sticking out my neck. Well, the real me's neck anyway. But..."
There is a catch.
Sasuke eyed him carefully, although he felt as if he knew the answer. "This will not protect you from unwarranted hatred Sasuke. People will be hostile towards you. Though you will be on missions, but the other villages have not forgiven you, so expect friction."
The boy merely sighed. He knew. But this is something he needed to do. Even if he had to defend himself against the worst ways people might try to take revenge. Because ever since this realization of a danger set in his thoughts, he could not help but feel unprepared to protect the ones he held close to his heart.
"This is something I need to do."
Kakashi nodded silently and Sasuke reaffirmed his decision with a single nod. The shadow clone went up with a poof into the air, leaving Sasuke alone to sit in solitude with the morning skyline.
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Whatever Sasuke was expecting Kakashi would do to send him off these past few days, this was not it. Mind you, the Hokage had perfectly executed their plan to send him off on a vaguely described mission, as evident by his mission scroll this morning. The ninja villages would now have to officially let him investigate under whatever ruse Kakashi had cooked up. But the thing was that Kakashi was not alone in coming to send him off. Because alongside the silver-haired ninja who was approaching the village gates, walked Sakura.
Sasuke momentarily stopped breathing. Saying that he was leaving felt hard enough last evening, not only because the Uchiha did not allow anything to show on his face, or dare to voice his feelings, but also because he did not remember feeling this way when he left the village before. Whatever conviction he beared earlier, and whatever courage he beheld in battle was not working here. But it was not as simple as that either.
After the moment they shared in front of her house that night, neither Sasuke nor Sakura acknowledged it. While Sasuke did feel that it was an odd development for Sakura who voiced her feelings for him many times in the past, he did not dare to question it. Her silent actions were much more intriguing anyway. Something that clearly worked - hitting Sasuke squarely in the face and knocking his wind right out.
Because every emotion that was reflected in those actions screamed in a voice that only Sasuke could hear. And the rest of the world would walk past, oblivious. The last Uchiha might just as confess, he preferred their bond this way.
Her emerald eyes bore into him all the while she stood there as Kakashi debriefed him about his "mission". As if memorizing every bit of him that he allowed and displayed. Not that Sasuke was feeling anything different, but she was in the dark about this, wasn't she? But right now, how was he supposed to find himself strong enough to do this with her standing right here? Especially when he irrevocably knew that as soon as he would place a single step out of the village, her heart would shatter again. And Sasuke felt as if he wouldn't survive it, with the way cared about her now. Maybe these feelings were here all along and he was the blind one. The mighty Uchiha only found himself pulled towards every inch of her, nothing more, nothing less, exactly like everything was pulled to the ground.
The trance he was seemingly in was broken by a sudden call of his name. A serious note escaping from somewhere behind the mask of the silver haired ninja.
"So, Sasuke. I'll set aside the indirect speech now," Kakashi said, rubbing his forehead. Sasuke had not heard anything he said, so maybe it was time to pay some attention now. "I need to verbally acknowledge this. Hnnn," the Hokage sighed, falling into thought.
Sasuke waited patiently.
"Alright, I'll be blunt," the Hokage began again. "By rights, you should be in prison right now. But we have heard your plea and all your actions up to now have been pardoned. Breaking the Jutsu for the Infinite Tsukuyomi played a big part in that decision. As well as the fact that I happened to become the sixth Hokage, and that Naruto, the key figure in ending the war testified on your behalf. Don't forget that," he acknowledged but then went on to add more, "And please, don't get too reckless. Otherwise, I will be held responsible."
Sasuke wanted to laugh at these dramatics from Kakashi but resisted the urge by pulling on a mask of gratitude and nonchalance. "Aah. Understood," he replied.
Somewhere beside Kakashi, Sasuke noticed Sakura shifting. "Must you go?" she asked meekly, her eyes falling down to the ground.
Sasuke instantly understood that the way the memory of that night lingered in his mind, it did in her's too. He could already make out the pain in her voice, but she was hoping for too much. A very perfect world that would not hold him accountable for his actions on the ground that he simply asked for forgiveness. But Sasuke knew that that was her kind heart. Reality was far from that.
But Sakura continued politely, her voice full of hope once again. "The artificial arm that Lady Tsunade is creating from Lord Hashirama's cells will soon-"
"I need time to understand my feelings," Sasuke interrupted. He could not let Sakura go on like this. Maybe she thought he was leaving and would not come back, so this would put her mind at ease. I need time, see that was easy to say. So Sasuke continued to add. "...How I should view the shinobi world, this world. Perhaps I will be able to see things I couldn't see before. Things that can't be seen unless I do this," he said. But keeping the last ones of his goal from Sakura did not sit right with him. "Also, there is something I am worried about," he finished, barely a hint, but a thread she could pull on if she ever wanted to give it a thought.
"Oh..", Sakura said dejected. "What if… I said I'd go with you?", she blushed.
Blood rushed into Sasuke's head at the boldness of this statement. Sakura had said those words to him before when he was leaving the village behind. But they had not elicited this response within him. They may have worked if he had not stonewalled himself from feeling things. But the Uchiha's heart had never pounded like this in want of accepting her request.
But Sasuke knew he could not let his feelings get in the way. This was not about him right now. It was about her.
Sakura was just beginning a new chapter in her life. Everything she had done so far had begun to come into fruition, and with her being named the head of the Konoha Hospital as Tsunade took her leave, there was no way Sakura could join Sasuke. She was irreplaceable in the village at such a critical point, doing something much bigger than the two of them and Sasuke knew that he would never be the one holding her behind. But there was no way Sakura did not know this herself.
And that confirmed his suspicions.
That she was afraid he would not come back to Konoha again. Something that was far from the truth. Sasuke knew who he would come back for. He was simply not ready to word out these feelings and acknowledge their depth and nature just yet. Not before his redemption was complete at the very least. He needed to figure himself out before all of that. He needed a different kind of courage to do all of that.
"This is a trip to atone for my sins," he found himself saying. "My sins have nothing to do with you."
Sakura hung her head in shock. "…nothing to do with me? Shannaro…"
Sasuke opened up into a wide smile at that. Just everything about her mesmerized him. Even her bashful dejection was amusing to him. He didn't even want to know the why or how anymore. He just knew he would always come back to her. And before he knew what he was doing, he stepped forward to face the her and poked right in the middle of her forehead.
"Maybe next time," he chuckled, as her eyes went wide and her breath hitched. "Arigatao." Thank you for everything, Sakura.
This was no longer a surprise or shock to him. There was only acceptance in his heart. He found himself standing in Itachi's shoes, assuring he would be back home no matter what because he loved the person on the receiving end of the poke. And that was Sasuke's truth.
It was only when her Jade eyes bore into his Obsidian ones that he took note of the blush blossoming on her cheeks and the way she stilled under his touch. In an instant, the reason behind her surprise transpired upon him. Sasuke suddenly pinked, hit with the realization.
Sakura knows what that gesture means. He told her what it means. She knows that he... oh.
He will always come back to her. It was his promise.
And he finally felt at peace.
A/N : There goes the last chapter of this fic. I hope I got everything about Kaguya right. I'm rereading the manga to see if I slipped somewhere or forgot something, in which case I will make the necessary edits.
Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Will you tell me how you liked it?
