Awkward
Being awkward wasn't new to Po, but in this situation, it still bothered him. Something that was so familiar had become, overnight, a stranger, an alien. The panda sat on the steps of the Training Hall courtyard as he watched two warriors duke it out.
Tigress jumped into the air and smashed her foot against the Mongoose's brown arm. The small warrior blocked it and scurried out of the way before striking the tiger's back. Tigress ducked and launched at her again. A final clash of their forearms ended the match, and Tigress stepped back and bowed to the Mongoose.
Master Mongoose was an upcoming master. She wore a white robe with black lining that stretched to her feet and covered her wrists. She stood about two heads below Tigress, but that didn't make her any less fearsome. Smiling wide with a sharp tooth grin, Mongoose bowed back at Tigress. "Thank you for the spar, Tigress. It's been a while since I've had someone push me to the limits like that."
"I can say the same for you," Tigress replied. She glanced at Po, smiling wider. "Of course, one person's unpredictable nature comes to mind." Po shrugged his head into his shoulders, darting his eyes away from the two. The warriors in the pit chuckled a bit and walked out of the Training Hall. "Come, let me show you around. I'm sure the Valley of Peace will be to your liking."
"I can't wait," Mongoose smiled. As they left, Po sat there with a heart low to the floor. The silent Training Hall echoed around him as he sighed and got up from the floor.
He shook his head from the dismal brain fog. "Come on, Po. It's fine. You're just overreacting. Besides, you're used to awkward, right? Right?" The panda couldn't answer the question himself. He sighed again and slowly trudged out and down the stony cold stairs. The day was sunny, though not sunny in Po's heart. Master Mongoose had visited the Valley of Peace for a week now and Tigress began taking an instant liking to her.
Po felt glad that Tigress was finding friends in a realm of warriors mostly dominated by men. He could understand their bond, and Po was happy that someone other than Viper could call Tigress a friend.
But soon inside jokes emerged, code words, winks, chuckles, and giggles that had no other reason other than a joke they both shared. They were fast friends.
And Po didn't like it.
"No, no," He muttered to himself as he shook his head. "I'm acting like I'm jealous. I'm not jealous! I'm just... feeling a bit... left out, that's all. I'm used to that," He sighed. "I'm used to that."
The next day, Po walked out of his room with a bit lighter step. Master Mongoose would be leaving today, and the Furious Five and Master Shifu wanted to see her off. A small smile came to Po's face as he made it into the Hall of Heroes. "Po," Tigress called. "We've been waiting for you."
"Sorry, I overslept," He said.
"Again. You've been doing that a lot, lately," Tigress noticed. "Is everything okay?" Po held his lips together. How was he supposed to say anything was wrong when he didn't even know how or what things were wrong? By all accounts, he should feel happy for Tigress and Master Mongoose was a great person to be around.
"Yeah, I'm fine," He smiled with a toothy grin. The tiger stared at him with a neutral but suspicious face before Master Mongoose arrived. Master Shifu stepped up to her.
"It was a great honor to have you, Master Mongoose," The red panda said.
"It was an honor to be allowed here," Master Mongoose bowed. "I really enjoyed my time here with you all. Especially you, Dragon Warrior and Master Tigress."
Po forced a smile. "Come back any time," He said.
"I wish you could come with me to my kwoon (Training Hall). There's a lot to see near the plains."
Tigress smiled, "I wish I could visit."
"Why not now?" Shifu suggested.
"What?" Po, Tigress, and Master Mongoose said.
"Why not now? Master Mongoose's home isn't that far from the Valley of Peace" Shifu replied. "Master Tigress will go with you to escort you back. I hope it won't be too much on the both of you."
"No, no!" Mongoose smiled widely. "That's great."
"I'll go and pack my things," Tigress replied. "It shouldn't take long." The tiger dashed off and got her things much faster than Po could register. The panda stood there for about 30 minutes, watching Shifu propose his idea, Tigress getting her things, and the mongoose and tiger walking out the door laughing and smiling together. And Po stood through it all, petrified in place. It was only until Master Shifu waved his staff in front of his eyes that Po even blinked.
"Po, is something wrong?"
The words didn't come out. Po must have pondered phrase after phrase and sentence after sentence trying to come up with a good answer. "Po? What's the matter?" Shifu asked again.
"AUgghhhhh," Po crashed to his butt and threw his head into his hand. "I'm such an idiot."
"Excuse me?"
"I... Ugh, Master, I've been having a problem with Master Mongoose this whole time and I just... I feel... I feel like I'm-"
"Po, you wouldn't happen to be jealous that Tigress and Mongoose seem to have a close bond, would you?"
Po struggled with the words. "I don't know. Maybe? It's hard to tell."
"Hard to tell, or hard to admit."
"I just... I hate feeling this feeling."
"What exactly are you feeling?"
"Cold, left out, forgotten, awkward. YEAH! That! Awkward. I just feel awkward," Po finally said. "I don't think it's just jealousy. I think I just feel... you know... left out."
"Because Master Tigress is getting along with Master Mongoose so well?" Shifu guessed.
"Not really. I'm glad she's friends with her, but I just feel... lonely. And... I don't know. It's like I don't belong anymore."
"Ahhh," Shifu hummed. "You're upset that something that used to be familiar is changing and you don't know what to do about it."
"I... I guess," Po mumbled. Shifu stroked his beard and paced around the panda once before saying,
"Po have you felt this... awkwardness before in your life?"
"Yes. Usually, it happens when friends leave or when I'm not really that close with people. Or just... when I feel left out," Po sighed. Shifu stared and pondered quietly. "I mean, I'm not upset that Tigress is happy. I'm happy for her, but I just... I wish I could be... a part of that? I don't know," Po groaned and rolled onto his back, covering his face. "Why is this happening?"
"Maybe because you wish things didn't change."
"But I'm all about trying new things."
"True, but even though we're different, we all have something that ties us together," Shifu sat down into a lotus position. "I imagine Tigress's time with you has dwindled since Master Mongoose arrived?"
"Yeah," Po sighed. "It sucks really. I mean, here I am complaining about their friendship when I have four other friends I could be hanging out with in the meantime. It's crazy right?"
"And yet. Here you are," Shifu said. "Maybe this friendship is more...fulfilling and meaningful to you than the others."
"Are you saying I don't care about the others?"
"No, but relationships offer different functions in our lives. Some are there for pragmatic reasons and nothing more. Some transition between deep intimacy, friendship, and rivalry. Relationships have different meanings to us. Yes, you care about the others, but you specifically cherish your relationship with Tigress the most. I won't ask why," He said, noticing Po's shifting eyes and scratching hands, "But maybe it is best to accept this change. Look at it from Tigress's point of view."
"Hmmm," Po hummed. "Well, other than me, she keeps to herself. She and Viper look close but sometimes aren't. And now, she has another close friend that's a girl, same as her." He sighed and rolled his eyes. "And she's been around guy warriors and friends for a while sooooo. Yeah, I'd do the same thing as her. Heheh, I never thought of it like that. Thanks, Shifu."
The red panda smiled, helping the panda up to his feet. "Of course. Now, Po. What will you do?"
Po shrugged, "I mean, I can't really do anything but just accept that this is the change. It's not like I can control her."
"Nor should you seek to," Shifu said with heavy seriousness. Po nodded and bowed to his former master.
"Thank you, Master Shifu."
In two days' time, Po found himself practicing alone in the Training Hall. He still missed Tigress, but he allowed her the space she wanted and deserved.
Besides, they were still friends.
Suddenly, the spinning spiked dummy smacked Po in the face. Stumbling to the ground, Po grasped his sore cheek. "Aarhhh. Darn it. Got distracted again."
"You tend to do that when I'm not around," Said a familiar voice. Po looked up and saw two amber eyes peering down at him.
"Tigress!" The panda jumped up from the sand, dusted himself off, and caught himself. Right she didn't like hugs all that much. He simply bowed. "What are you doing here?"
"I came back from visiting Master Mongoose's Kwoon. It is a very beautiful place. You should visit."
"I..." Po paused for a moment, thinking about what Shifu said two days ago. Slowly, the panda smiled. "I'll try and do that."
"Are you okay?" Tigress said, pointing to his cheek which he was still holding.
"Yeah, yeah, I was just a little distracted that's all," Po chuckled. "I'm glad that you are back. We... I really missed you."
"I can see," Tigress smirked. Somehow, it made the panda nervously chuckle in the back of his throat. "Well, since I'm back, why don't I show you what I learned from Master Mongoose."
"Re-really? Are you sure you don't want to train by yourself or something?"
"I'll do that later. If I'm being honest, I missed sparring with you. Master Mongoose is a good warrior and fighting partner, but she's no Dragon Warrior," Tigress smirked.
"Hehe, well then," Po said, spreading his legs into a fighting stance. "Get ready to feel the thunda!"
The End
