A/N: I am so sorry that this update is two days late. I was in a pretty bad place mentally (still there, honestly), and so this one took a bit longer for me to get through. Hope you enjoy it all the same.
Gibbs
He had to give her credit: when she was angry, Jennifer Shepard could be downright terrifying. He was just thankful that she wasn't angry with him this time, and as he listened to her berate the person on the other end of the line, he shook his head in amusement. Poor bastard. He really had no clue of who he was dealing with.
"If she had the capacity to consent, do you really think she would be locked away in a psychiatric ward? She doesn't have that ability, which is why I'm calling on her behalf. What part of power of attorney do you not understand? I would have thought it was simple enough to comprehend, but obviously I was wrong."
Gibbs smirked to himself as Jenny paced the floor, and when she noticed him watching her, she rolled her eyes.
"No. I've just told you that she can't consent. Any decisions involving her care or legal issues are done by me. If you're going to keep giving me a hard time, I won't hesitate to go above your head."
She sighed, running her hand through her hair in frustration, and when she spoke again, there was no mistaking the irritation in her voice.
"Fine. Send me the forms. I'll look over them in the next few days. Thank you."
Hanging up the phone, she angrily threw it across the room, glaring at the offending device as though she wished it would spontaneously combust.
"You would think that as long as these companies get their money, they wouldn't care whose account it came from. I'm literally just trying to pay a damn electric bill."
He nodded sympathetically, wrapping his arms around her as she walked closer, and when she looked down at her hands, she shook her head in annoyance.
"Look at this bullshit. My hair is falling out. Can't I just catch a break? Just once?"
It was true: several long red strands were clinging to her fingers, making her already bad mood worse, and she sighed as she laid her head against his chest.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I'm being bitchy and you don't deserve that."
He laughed softly, kissing her hair as he held her in his arms, his voice low as he spoke.
"You're not. You're just frustrated and I don't blame you. You really need to find a way to work through your stress before it drives you insane, though."
"Oh, I have one," she said with a laugh, "I annoy DiNozzo every day at work. Makes all the stress worth it."
He laughed but shook his head, pushing her back to look into her eyes, sapphire meeting emerald.
"I meant it, Jen," he said seriously, "If you keep going like this, you're going to collapse sooner rather than later."
She was silent for a moment, looking up at him intently, and when she smiled, he found it did little to comfort him.
"You're sweet," she replied softly, "but you don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine. I always am."
Strangely enough, her words didn't make him feel any more at ease.
As it turned out, he was right in his assessment that she would break sooner rather than later, and that defining moment came in the middle of the next week, on a Tuesday afternoon. It wasn't often that his cell phone rang during work hours and so when he glanced at it, he frowned at the sight of her name on the screen.
"Yeah. Gibbs."
"Are you busy at the moment?"
He frowned.
"Not particularly. Why?"
"Come outside."
Now his confusion intensified and as he walked to the door, he was surprised to see Jenny pacing the sidewalk in front of the recruitment office, her steps rapid, her hair falling from its ponytail more with every move. He opened the door, hanging up his phone, and as soon as she saw him, she walked closer, her eyes locking onto his desperately.
"I think I royally fucked up, Jethro."
He waited, knowing she wasn't through, and when she continued, he could see she was barely holding back her panic, her sarcasm failing her as she began pacing again.
"I had my second interview today, and I just know it went badly. I knew all the answers to their questions until they asked them, and I sounded like a complete idiot. I was shaking so badly that I know they could see it, and I kept stumbling over my words….I was a mess."
She passed him, oblivious to his attempts to stop her, and shook her head, paying no attention to the hair now touching her shoulders as she walked."
"They're going to give it to someone else, and everyone already knows I applied. If I don't get it, they're going to think I'm not good enough and then my team won't even listen to me, and—"
"Jen!" he grabbed her by the shoulders, halting her steps, "Take a breath. I'm sure you did just fine. They expect you to be nervous when you do an interview. And I doubt they would have given you a second one if they didn't think you could do the job."
Jenny shook her head, trying to pull away, but he tightened his hold, forcing her to stay still. His eyes locked on hers, searching the viridian depths for the woman he knew was behind them, and when he ran his finger over her cheek softly, she blinked.
"You've got this, Jen. I know you do. Okay?"
She nodded, though he could see her heart wasn't in it, and he knew they'd only postponed the inevitable fall. He took her hand, guiding her to the alley next to the building, and as soon as they were out of sight, he pulled her closer, kissing her slowly. Her hands gripped his shoulders, holding him firmly in place, and when they finally broke apart a minute later, he met her eyes slowly.
"You can do this, Shepard," he whispered.
She smiled, kissing him again.
"I love you."
His answering kiss said more than a thousand words ever could have.
Shepard
Without thinking, Jenny accepted the plate that was passed to her, absentmindedly taking a bite from the pizza DiNozzo had offered and crossed her legs as she leaned back in her chair. They'd been working nonstop on their latest case, with the entire team sleeping at their desks and to say that it was beginning to get to them all would have been a massive understatement. Even McGee had snapped at Abby's overly energetic antics more than once and they were all slowly starting to lose their patience.
Mid-chew, Jenny realized what she'd done and froze, her eyes wide as she reached for a napkin on her desk, spitting the food into it as quickly as she could, causing DiNozzo to frown.
"Something wrong with it?"
Jenny shook her head, bolting from her desk, and as she walked as fast as she could to the nearest restroom, she tried to control the racing of her heart. She hastily locked the door behind her, falling to her knees as she shoved her fingers down her throat, coughing harshly. Her body protested the action but still she persisted, refusing to stop until something had come up, and as she spat the soggy mess into the water, she suddenly stopped, horrified.
What in the hell was she doing? She hadn't done this in years…what was wrong with her? She knew better. She was better than this. Standing on shaking legs, Jenny washed her hands quickly, trying to ignore just how pale she'd become, and glared at her reflection, her eyes hard.
"Get your shit together, Jenny," she said quietly, her voice shaking with rage, "You can't afford to break down right now."
After several deep breaths, she finally felt secure enough to open the door, and when she walked out into the hallway, she collided with something solid, causing her to swear quietly. She took a step back, looking into the dark eyes of Tony DiNozzo, wondering why on earth he had been standing so close to the door.
"Damn it, DiNozzo! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
He shook his head, looking at her seriously, and she took another step away from him, her eyes noticing how his never left her.
"What's going on with you, Shep? You're not usually so jumpy."
"I'm not usually running on 52 hours without sleep," she pointed out.
"Uh huh," he said, his tone making it obvious he didn't believe her, "but what else? I've never seen you run from the squad room so fast barring an emergency. Something's bothering you, and I'm not letting you leave until you talk to me."
Jenny rolled her eyes.
"Did you forget that I'm your boss, not the other way around? Just because—"
"We're partners, Jenny. If you can't be honest with me, then I can't work with you. Come on. You know I can keep a secret. Never told anyone about Maddie, have I?"
Though she realized he made a very good point, she simply wasn't going to talk to Tony DiNozzo about this. No fucking way.
"I'm just stressed about the job interview."
There. It wasn't an outright lie, and when he nodded, she knew she'd managed to deflect his attention, at least for a little while.
"I get that, but Red…you've got this. I can't think of anyone who deserves it as much as you. You're more than good enough. And you're going to kick major ass."
"Thanks, Tony. I appreciate that."
Jenny smiled, happy that, for now at least, she'd dodged the question.
The full implications of her actions didn't hit her until around eleven that night and as she sat behind her desk, she reached for her cell phone, typing furiously as she listened to McGee snoring quietly across the room. She hadn't had the heart to wake him, after all, he was just as exhausted as she was, and as she pressed send, she hoped she wasn't making a mistake.
You awake?
Yeah. Everything ok?
Smiling sadly as she read his response, Jenny began writing her own, feeling as though she were a million miles away.
Not sure. I threw up the few bites of pizza I had for dinner. On purpose.
She hoped he would understand her meaning, not sure if she had it in her to explain tonight, and when her phone vibrated with his response a few seconds later, she sighed.
Why? Was it spoiled?
No. I can't…I don't expect you to understand, and I don't know if I could explain it even if I tried.
OK. What can I do to help?
She smiled again as she read his answer, touched that he cared enough to ask, and when McGee snored particularly loudly, she shook her head, laughing quietly.
Send ear plugs. McGee's snoring so loud he could guide ships through the fog. Seriously though, I just needed to tell someone. Thanks for listening.
Anytime. Love you, Jen.
As she answered in kind, Tony DiNozzo reappeared with two fresh cups of coffee, holding one out to her carefully. She accepted it gratefully, smiling at her second-in-command, and as she took a slow drink, he rolled his eyes at McGee's sleeping form.
"Poor little Probie. Guess he can't hang with the cool kids."
Jenny laughed, shaking her head.
"Cut him some slack. I'm a little jealous of him, to be honest. Wish I could sleep like that."
DiNozzo frowned, looking at her seriously. It was true: she looked more exhausted than he'd seen her in a long time, and he sat down at his desk slowly, taking another drink of his coffee.
"Not sleeping well?"
Jenny's head shook before she realized it had even happened and DiNozzo nodded sympathetically.
"No wonder you're stressed, Red. You know…I'm here if you need to vent about anything. I meant what I said."
The redhead smiled, shaking her head slowly.
"I appreciate it, Tony. Really. But I'll be fine. I always am."
It didn't even occur to her that she'd said the exact same thing to Gibbs three days earlier, and if she'd known just how her week was going to go, she might just have confided in him.
Gibbs
Though it was apparent that something was bothering her, Gibbs stayed quiet, silently sipping his bourbon as they sat at her kitchen table. She'd hardly touched the food on her plate, merely pushing it around with her fork, and there was a sadness in her eyes that he hadn't seen in quite awhile, making him slightly nervous. What if she'd decided that their relationship was over? Maybe she was just waiting for the right moment or way to tell him.
Somehow, he doubted that was what was on her mind, but now that the idea had taken root in his mind, it refused to leave, and as he continued to watch her, it grew steadily worse. Then again, it might not have anything to do with him at all. Perhaps it was about her mother, or work. Yes, that had to be it. It just had to be.
As she finally placed her fork down on the table, he frowned, observing her full plate with curiosity.
"Is everything okay?"
She said nothing, still staring at the table in front of her, and he shook his head, more than a little confused.
"Jen," he tried again, louder this time.
She finally glanced up at him, her eyes confused, and he looked at her seriously.
"You okay?"
"Hm? Yeah, I'm fine, Jethro. Just didn't sleep well last night."
He nodded, though he still didn't believe her, and when she stood up to make her way into the living room, he frowned. Had he done something wrong? After debating with himself for several minutes, he finally stood, following her, and as he sat down in the chair, he looked at her seriously. She was lying on the couch, her eyes closed, curled up tightly, and when she suddenly spoke, there was a hint of amusement in her tired voice.
"I can feel you staring at me."
He laughed quietly, moving closer, and when he sat down on the couch, he pulled her head and upper body into his lap, running his hands through her hair slowly.
"How can I help?"
She shook her head, moving closer to his body, her voice slightly muffled by his legs as she spoke.
"You can't. I just need to sleep. Unless you want to knock me over the head with a baseball bat."
He said nothing, still running his fingers through her hair, hoping that whatever was bothering her, she would come to him in time.
Jenny's strange quiet mood lasted the entire week, showing no sign of changing, and while she'd been home each night after work, she hadn't responded to his texts. He knew she was home, could hear her occasionally moving around the rooms of her apartment, and her lack of interaction was making him nervous, and though he was worried, he knew it would be better if he gave her the space she was obviously in need of.
That changed on the evening of the following Tuesday when he returned home only to realise that she hadn't gone in to work that day, her car still in the exact same spot it had been when he'd left for work, and he frowned. Never, in all the time he'd known Jenny, had she ever voluntarily missed work, and when he knocked on her door, there was no answer.
He knocked again, knowing she was there, and when a slight shuffling reached his ears, he smiled to himself. The door swung open, revealing a Jenny that was so disheveled it looked as though she'd slept in a deserted back alley, and he tilted his head curiously at her as she leaned on the door frame.
"You didn't go to work today?"
She shook her head, and he looked at her bloodshot eyes carefully, wondering what in the world was going on.
"Jen, are you okay?"
She shrugged, her hand gripping the door frame so tightly that he knew it was the only thing keeping her upright, and when she spoke, her voice was slightly hoarse.
"Did you need something?"
"Just checking on you. I was starting to get worried."
She shook her head, looking up at him with a sadness so strong it was almost palpable.
"Don't worry about me. I'm fine."
He snorted, causing her to look up again, and shook his head.
"Like hell you are. Did something happen at work? Is your mom okay?"
"Everything is fine, Jethro. Really. I'll see you soon, okay? I'm going to go lie down."
Without another word, she closed the door, leaving him standing on the other side, staring at the wood, wondering what on earth was going on with the woman on the other side.
Shepard
She knew she was slipping back into dangerous territory, though there was little she could do to stop it, and as she pulled her blanket tighter around her body, Jenny Shepard sighed as she felt her eyes fill with tears. She only had twenty minutes until she needed to be at work, and even as she laid in the darkness, she knew it wasn't going to happen. Not today. Her hand found her phone finally, dialing the number she'd only used once before, and as it rang, she tried to keep her tears in check.
"Director Morrow's office."
"Annie, can you tell the Director that I'm taking a personal day? This is Jenny Shepard."
"Of course, Agent Shepard," the assistant said warmly, "Enjoy your time off. You've earned it."
"Thank you."
She hung up without waiting for a response, and as she laid her phone on the bedside table, her tears finally fell, spilling down her face rapidly. She didn't think she could have explained why she felt so desolate even if she'd tried, and when she pulled her blankets up over her head, she sighed. What in the world was wrong with her? Surely she could make it through the day without breaking down. She had to.
Her entire body felt extremely heavy, each breath like a weight around her neck, and even though she knew it was to be expected given her mental and emotional state, it made her no less depressed. The thoughts that were spinning around in her mind were dangerous, dark, and she knew that she needed to find a way out before she made a decision she couldn't take back.
She reached for her phone, thankful for her speed dial function, and as she listened to the phone ring, she tried to control the shaking in her hands.
"Yeah. Gibbs."
"Jethro, where are you?"
"I'm at my desk. Is something wrong?"
"No, I just...never mind. It wasn't important."
She was just about to hang up the phone when she heard his voice again, and she brought it back to her ear, her eyes tightly closed.
"Must have been important enough for you to call. Talk to me. Something's going on with you, and I want to help if I can. Tell me what you need me to do, and I'm on it."
"I don't...I can't explain it. I don't know what's wrong. It's just...the thoughts in my head...they're so loud and I can't make them stop. I don't know what you can possibly do to help, either. I just...Jethro, I feel so worthless right now."
"I'm on my way."
She didn't even have time to blink before he'd hung up the phone, and as she laid back down in the bed, she sighed, wondering what on earth he had planned.
The knock on the door made her glance up, but it took more than a few minutes for her to pull herself up from the bed, her steps shaky and her vision spinning as she walked. She'd only moved from her position in the bed a handful of times that day, and when she opened the door, she found Gibbs standing on the other side, a single red rose held in his hand. He offered it to her, and when she'd finally taken it, she was surprised to find a small smile on her face.
The gesture was so purely Gibbs that she couldn't possibly ignore the effort he'd put into it, and as she invited him in, he looked around her living room in confusion. Though normally immaculate, there were various empty soda bottles sitting on her coffee table, her laundry basket was sitting in front of the chair in the corner, and he frowned slowly. He'd never known Jenny to be messy, and he shook his head as she returned from the kitchen, the rose now resting in a glass of water.
"Jen...how can I help?"
"I don't know," she admitted, "I don't even want to get out of bed right now."
A sudden idea occurred to him, and he held out his hand, looking at her expectantly.
"Come on."
He led her into the bedroom, and when he gestured for her to lie down on the bed, she did as he asked, her confusion only growing when he laid next to her, pulling her into his arms. His hands smoothed her hair, running through the long red strands carefully, and when he kissed the top of her head, he smiled.
"Walk me through it. Tell me what's going on in your head."
"I can't, Jethro. I don't know myself. I just feel like everything I do is pointless and I end up crucifying myself. I want to scream at everyone that I'm not the well put-together person that they think I am, that I'm so close to just falling apart, and I've been looking for a reason to just jump in front of a train."
He frowned, looking down at her seriously, and when he realised she was crying, he moved just enough that he could raise her up, meeting her eyes without so much as blinking.
"Don't do that. Don't even talk about doing that. I'd be lost without you. Don't you see that? Even when it seems like everything is falling apart, even when it seems like there's no point, remember how much you mean to me. And your mother. She loves you more than anything in the world. And so do I."
Jenny didn't think she'd ever heard him say so much in one sitting, and she merely stared at him, her tears still pouring rapidly down her face.
"It isn't that simple."
He nodded.
"I know. Believe me, I know. I've been where you are, and I remember exactly how hopeless it can seem. But think about it this way: what if you're on the brink of something great, and if you stop now, you'll never know what would have happened. Look at your promotion you applied for. What if they call you tomorrow and tell you the job is yours?"
Nodding, Jenny moved closer to his warmth, laying her head back down, and as her tears dampened his jeans, Gibbs ran his hand over her hair again, praying to a God he didn't believe in that she would find the strength to keep going.
"God damn it!"
Jenny's voice was low, shaking in her fury, and as she looked at the tiny body in front of her, she felt Tony DiNozzo place his hand on her shoulder, causing her to turn.
"We caught Corporal Benson a few miles from here. McGee's got him in the back of the squad car."
Jenny shook her head, her eyes locking on her second-in-command angrily.
"It doesn't matter. We were too late for this little boy."
"Yeah, but we got the guy responsible. We're gonna see him rot in prison. You know Abby won't let him get off on some kind of technicality."
Though she knew he was right, it did little to calm her anger, and as she walked back to the car, she clenched her fists together, fighting the urge to punch the man in the back seat.
As soon as they'd made it back to the Navy Yard, Jenny made her way to the restroom, her entire body shaking with anger, and as she shoved her fingers down her throat, she closed her eyes against the violent retching that made her esophagus burn. She didn't even know why she was doing it, her stomach was empty save for the coffee she'd drank that morning, and as she sank down to her knees on the cold tile floor, she pretended she didn't notice the way her hands were shaking as she brought them back to her mouth.
Her fingernail nicked the back of her throat on the way back, not that she noticed it, and when she spat the blood into the water of the toilet, she froze, her eyes wide. What the hell was she doing? She coughed, clearing her throat one last time, and after she'd washed her hands, she made her way back to the squad room, oblivious to her Senior Field Agent who was standing in the hallway just outside the bathroom door.
He watched her go worriedly, having heard the sound of her throwing up as he'd passed the door, and when he heard his name being called from behind, he turned, his eyes searching for the source.
"Can you find Agent Shepard and send her to the Director's office?"
"Of course. Annie, when are you gonna go on a date with me?"
"When Hell freezes over, Tony. And with global warming, that drastically lowers your chances."
"But, that implies that I still have a chance! I'm not giving up on us yet, Annie. We're meant to be together, baby! You'll see."
The young woman shook her head, laughing.
"Just go get Jenny before I kill you."
He nodded, walking away, and as he called Jenny's name, she rolled her eyes, crossing her ankles as she propped them up on her desk.
"Hey, Shep, Director wants to see you."
"Damn, and I just got comfortable," Jenny muttered, swinging her feet slowly to the floor.
She made her way to the catwalk, her steps confident, and as she walked up the stairs, McGee frowned at the look of concern on DiNozzo's face.
"What's wrong?"
"Worried about her," he said honestly, "Think this case really got to her."
McGee shrugged, reaching for his coffee.
"She'll be fine. You know Jenny."
For the first time, DiNozzo wasn't so sure.
"You wanted to see me, sir?"
"Yes. I wanted to check on the progress of your latest case. You've apprehended the man responsible for Tanner White's death?"
"Yes, sir. He's in interrogation right now. McGee is going to do this one. Get his feet wet, so to speak."
"Good call. That wasn't the only reason for my requesting to see you, however. I want to formally offer you the Director's job, if you're certain that it's what you want."
Jenny frowned.
"Sir?"
"I've seen you in the field, I've watched you with your team. Are you really sure that you want to give that up for the political world?"
The redhead nodded, her eyes locking onto his as she spoke.
"Yes, I am. It will also give Tony DiNozzo a chance to prove himself. I've no doubt that he'll make a great team leader."
"Very well, then. Jenny, if you're sure this is what you want, the job is yours. Annie will give you the official forms to sign on your way out. The job will be effective as of next Monday. Congratulations, Director Shepard. You've more than earned it."
"What about Annie, sir? Is she going with you?"
"Yes. She'll be going to Homeland Security with me when I leave. Your new assistant will be here on Monday morning. Her name is Cynthia. I think you'll get along quite well. She comes highly recommended, much like yourself."
Jenny nodded, taking his outstretched hand as she stood to make her way from his—her—office and as she walked to the door, he called her name again, making her turn.
"Don't cut DiNozzo any slack."
She laughed.
"Not a chance."
Gibbs
The low ringing of his phone caused him to groan, looking for the device with groggy eyes as he turned on the light, and he sighed as he finally found it, holding it up to his ear.
"Yeah. Gibbs."
"Jethro, were you asleep? It's not even 23:00."
"Long day," he answered shortly, "You okay?"
"I'm fine," Jenny said, her voice sounding brighter than it had in days, "I wanted to call and tell you that you were right. I thought that would make up for waking you up."
"Almost," he said with a laugh, "Right about what?"
"I got the job. Morrow offered it to me today. Can you believe it? I'm going to be the Director. Me, of all people."
"Knew you could do it, Jen. Where are you?"
"Almost home. Be there in about five minutes. Can I stop by, or would you rather I didn't?"
He sat up, reaching for a shirt as he swung his feet over the side of the bed.
"Always. I'll be here."
"Okay. See you soon."
She hung up, leaving him to search for the light switch alone, and as he finally found it, he flipped it on, blinking in the bright light. Less than five minutes later, he heard a knock on the door, making him smile, and as soon as he'd opened it, his view was obstructed by red hair as Jenny threw her arms around him, her smile nearly blinding him in the best possible way.
"I got it, Jethro! I got the job!"
She kissed him hard, her hands tangling in his hair, and when she finally pulled back, he gave her a smile of his own, closing the door behind her. He pulled her closer, lifting her off her feet slightly, and as he held her in his arms, he kissed her again, a smile playing over his lips.
"I told you that you could do it."
"Really? An 'I told you so'? That's what I get?"
Jenny's hands toyed with his shirt, sliding underneath the soft fabric, and as her nails lightly trailed over his skin, he shivered slightly. She pulled it over his head, tossing it to the floor, and just as she was about to reach for his boxers, her phone rang, making her groan in frustration. She glanced at it, reading the name before answering, and as she held it up to her ear, she gave him an apologetic look.
"Shepard."
She listened to the voice on the other end for a moment, and as she shook her head, he could feel that her mood had instantly shifted, anger rolling off her skin in waves.
"DiNozzo, you tell that son of a bitch that I hope he does get a lawyer. I want his head on a god damned spike! Yeah, I'll deal with it in about an hour. Thanks."
She tossed the phone across the room, aiming for the couch and as it bounced on the cushions, she allowed herself a small smile. Her hands returned to their previous position, her head falling back as he brought his lips to her throat, and when he backed her up against the door, she moaned quietly. His hands slid deftly past her jeans, undoing the button easily, and as he touched her, she gripped his shoulder tightly in an effort to stay upright.
It didn't take long for her to reach the edge, having been more than a few days since she'd even considered sex, and when she whispered his name, he moved his fingers faster. She bit down on her lower lip to hold in the scream she could feel building within her throat, and when she fell over the edge, she cried out wordlessly into his shoulder, her head falling forward weakly.
He hooked his arm under her shaking legs, carrying her towards the bedroom, and as he kicked the door shut, neither of them heard the low ringing of her phone as it lay on the couch.
Just over an hour later, Jenny pulled her clothing from the pile on the floor, running her fingers through her slightly tangled hair, hoping she could smooth out some of the damage. Walking casually into the living room, she pulled on her heels, searching for her phone as she did so, and when she finally held up the small device, she frowned at the missed call, shaking her head as she listened to the voicemail. Gibbs walked back into the room just as she was redialing the number, and when he asked her what was wrong, she merely held up her hand, signaling for silence.
"Yes, this is Jenny Shepard, I'm returning your call in regards to my mother, Madelyn Shepard."
She was still as stone as she listened to the words being spoken on the other end of the line, and as she nodded once, she reached for Gibbs' hand.
"Yes, thank you. I'll be in touch soon."
She hung up, saying nothing, and Gibbs frowned, looking at her in concern.
"Jen?"
"My mother...she's not eating now. At all. I have to make the decision on whether she should be placed on a feeding tube or not. If I don't have one put in, she likely won't make it to next week. But if I do, I could be prolonging the pain she's in."
She met his eyes, searching for answers in the cobalt blue depths, and shook her head, reaching for his hand.
"What should I do, Jethro? What would you do?"
He was silent for a long minute, weighing each option carefully in his mind, and shook his head.
"I wouldn't make any decision right now. I would give it a day. Take some time to breathe, calm down, and think through each option entirely. Go over each outcome and then make your decision."
"I'm losing her either way," Jenny whispered, laying her head tiredly on his chest, "I just...she's all I have left, Jethro...I don't know what to do and I feel so alone."
Gibbs wrapped his arms around her, kissing her hair softly, and as he held her, he tried his best to think of the right thing to say.
"You're not alone, Jen," he said gently, "Never. Just remember that. I'm always here if you need me."
"I'll always need you," she replied, her voice on the verge of breaking as tears filled her eyes again, "No matter what happens. But depending on the outcome, I might just need you a little more pretty soon."
He nodded, kissing her again, and she pulled back to look at him, her emerald eyes locking on his sapphire blue.
"I might push you away for awhile," she warned, "I have a tendency to shut people out when bad things happen or if I get too overwhelmed."
Nodding again, Gibbs gave her a smile.
"I noticed. The last few days have been proof of that. Practically had to break your door down, remember?"
"Please don't be offended by it. It doesn't have anything to do with you. I promise."
"Never thought it did," he said honestly, "Just remember to come back when you're ready."
Jenny laughed, shaking her head as she raised up on her toes to kiss him, pulling her hair back into a ponytail as she stepped away.
"Don't I always? For some reason, I seem to be rather attached to you, and as much as it confuses me, I wouldn't change it for the world."
He smiled, rolling his eyes at her typical sarcasm.
"I love you, you sarcastic psychopath."
She raised her eyebrow in question, shaking her head again.
"Sarcastic psychopath?" she repeated, "Is that just a nicer way of calling me a bitch?"
His answering laugh was the last thing she heard before she closed the door behind her. God, she loved that man.
A/N: Let me know what you liked!
