A/N: Hello, my loyal readers! I just want to give you fair warning that this may be my last update for awhile. I've received some distressing personal news, and as such, I might be taking time to deal with it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this latest installment.


Gibbs

Though one of his favourite past times had always been watching Jenny as she slept, he did so now with a worried look on his face, debating with himself as to whether or not he should wake her. She was quite clearly in the midst of a nightmare, tears falling from behind her closed eyes, and he was at a loss of what to do. Was it better to wake her and pull her from it or should he let the dream progress on its own?

A quiet moan fell from her throat and he finally made his decision, unable to stand watching her struggle any longer. He reached out to touch her shoulder lightly, not wanting to scare her, and when her eyes finally opened, they landed on his in confusion.

"Jethro?"

"You were having a nightmare," he explained, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head slowly, a thoughtful look on her face.

"I don't remember what it was about. Something about my mother, I think."

He nodded.

"You can talk about her if you want. I don't mind listening."

He could see her considering it, could practically touch the thoughts in her head, and when she took a deep breath, she unconsciously moved closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder.

"What is your earliest memory of your mother?" she asked, not looking at him.

Gibbs frowned, thinking hard, and after several long minutes, he shook his head, a puzzled expression on his face.

"I honestly don't know."

Jenny smiled sadly, reaching for his hand as she spoke, entwining their fingers together

"For me, it was when they brought Heather home from the hospital. I couldn't have been more than three, but I remember her picking me up, sitting me on the couch, and telling me to hold out my hands. She put this bundle of blankets in my hands, and it started to move. I was so surprised I nearly dropped it. My mother stayed right there next to me, making sure nothing would happen to either of us, and she gave me the biggest smile…she must have been so happy that day."

Gibbs nodded, kissing her hand gently, and when she glanced up at him, he wasn't surprised to see the tears shining in her bright green eyes.

"All of the memories I have of my mother are tied together with the ones I have of Heather. I can still remember the sound of her screaming when I told her that Heather—god, it was awful."

"It's okay to be angry about it, Jen. What happened to them both was unfair and no one in the world would blame you for being upset."

Jenny shook her head, glancing up at him once, her voice betraying the depth of her emotions.

"It's more than that, Jethro. I'm more than just upset. I'm really, really fucking angry. No matter what else happened, I always expected them both to be there. Heather might have been depressed, but I never really believed I would ever have to live my life without her. And my mother…she was always the strong one. She kept everything together after my father died, and…seeing her go from this formidable, invincible woman to…whatever in the hell she was at the end…it pisses me off."

She wiped her hand under her eyes furiously, making Gibbs feel sadder than he'd expected, and he pulled her closer, kissing her hair softly.

"It sounds to me like you're quite a bit like your mother. You're probably the strongest person I've ever met, and the fact that you don't ever give up even when the odds are against you also makes you one of the bravest. You've come so far with your recovery and while you're still not there yet, I have no doubt you can make it through this. Your mother and Heather would be so proud of you."

Jenny frowned, looking at him in confusion.

"How do you figure that? I got myself into this damn situation. That's nothing to show pride in."

"Maybe you did," he agreed, nodding at her, "but you're also getting yourself out. You saw the problem for what it was and decided that enough was enough. You're going to have set backs, that's inevitable, but that doesn't mean you failed."

"Jethro?"

"Hmm?"

"You're not just saying all of this to get laid, are you?"

He laughed, kissing her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Yeah. But it's still true. Every word."


"Tell me about Shannon."

Of all the things that Gibbs had expected to come out of Jenny Shepard's mouth, that wasn't one of them. He wasn't sure how to answer, and so he merely nodded, trying to think of something he could say.

"She loved reading. Books, magazines, news articles, even the ingredients on food. Didn't matter to her. She collected hundreds of books, but she would always get stuck reading the same few over and over again. Must have read The Shining twenty damn times, at least. She would read in the car, anytime we went anywhere, she took a book. When I cleaned out my truck one holiday weekend, I found probably fifteen books in the back."

Jenny smiled, running her hand through his hair as she leaned over to kiss him, moving closer to him.

"Sounds like you have a type, Jethro. Redheaded nerds."

"Wouldn't have thought you were a nerd, Jen."

"Maybe not outwardly," she agreed, "but given what you know about me now, what would you call me?"

He smirked, realising she made a very valid point, and laughed.

"You're right. Total nerd."

The punch she delivered to his arm wasn't immensely painful, but he flinched nonetheless.

"Didn't your parents teach you not to be mean to women, Jethro?"

Gibbs shrugged, giving her a light kiss, and when she pulled him closer, he fought the urge to moan as her tongue swept into his mouth. He wrapped her in his arms, moving so that she was pinned beneath him, running his fingers through her hair. God, he loved her hair. It fell around her shoulders in soft waves, engulfing him in the sweet vanilla scent of her perfume, and he buried his nose in it, marveling at its softness.

Jenny kissed him again, wrapping her legs around his waist, and as she reached for the hem of his shirt, he took her hands in his, preventing her from touching it.

"Not yet."

Pushing her farther back on the bed, he slowly slid her shirt up, kissing the smooth skin of her stomach as he went, and when he pulled it over her head, she shivered in the sudden cold. As the fabric of her shirt and bra fell to the floor in a soft cloud, Gibbs moved his hands to her waist, sliding his hands under her skirt, letting the silk whisper around him as he slid it down her legs. He could feel her sharp intake of breath as his lips brushed against her inner thigh, making him smile to himself, and when her hands wound into his hair, he knew he had her exactly where he wanted her.

The thin lace of her underwear was all that separated his skin from hers now and as he slowly moved his fingers past it, he suddenly realised that he'd been treating her differently in all aspects the past month, and he mentally kicked himself for it. He was sure she had noticed (how could she not have?) and he made a promise to both of them that it would end now. He'd unconsciously been treating her as though she needed him to hold her hand at every turn, almost patronizingly, and he had never been more ashamed of himself than he was at that moment.

"Jethro? What's wrong?"

Without even realising it, he had stopped what he was doing to focus on his thoughts and the sound of her voice jolted him out of them, causing him to shake his head.

"Nothing. Just thinking."

"About me, I would hope."

He smiled moving back up her body to kiss her, meeting her eyes as he pulled her hair to one side.

"Always. But this time I owe you an apology."

Jenny raised her eyebrow in question, waiting for him to continue, and he ran his fingers over her skin lightly.

"I just realised that I've been treating you like you're going to break at every moment. You're not that fragile and you don't deserve that."

Raising her hand up to run it through his hair, Jenny gave him a smile that could only be described as wicked and kissed him hard.

"And how do you plan on making it up to me, marine?"

Moving his mouth to her throat, he traced his tongue over her skin, letting his lips brush over her ear as he spoke.

"Close your eyes," he whispered.

She did as he asked and he trailed his lips down her body, circling her breasts with his tongue, and when he placed her leg over his shoulder, pulling her closer, he closed his own eyes. His tongue glided over her easily, making her breath catch in her throat and her grip on the sheets tighten, and he moved slowly at first, wanting to prolong the torture.

He judged his success by the way he felt her body move beneath his and by the low moans that fell from her throat as he began to speed up his movements, and he draped his arm over her hips to keep her as still as possible. He let his teeth lightly scrape over her clit slowly, earning him another long moan, and when he stopped suddenly, he felt her try to move in protest. Opening his eyes, he was pleased to find that she still had hers closed, and as he moved quickly up her body, he made his voice as low as he possibly could, smirking when she jumped at his unexpected closeness.

"Tell me what you want, Jen. What do you need?"

She opened her eyes, impossibly green in the darkness, kissing him long and slow, moving her hands to his shoulders.

"You," she answered simply.

Her hands found his shirt again and this time, he made no move to stop her, allowing her to pull the fabric over his head and as her nails trailed over his skin slowly, he frowned at the look in her eyes. She seemed to be studying him as intently as she would have a case file, her eyes following the path her hands took, and he tilted his head curiously.

"What is it?"

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" she whispered.

"Shouldn't I be the one saying that to you?" he quipped.

She shook her head, raising emerald eyes to his, and spoke again, her voice deadly serious.

"I'm not kidding. You're one of the most attractive people I've ever seen in my life, but...it's so much more than that. You're also one of the kindest, most loyal, strongest people I've ever known. You're so much more than a pretty face. You have a beautiful soul."

He kissed her, his tongue tasting every corner of her mouth, and as he kicked off his jeans, he ran his fingers through her hair. He slowly entered her, rolling his hips against hers at a pace that was the most delicious torture she'd ever experienced, making her hands shake as they slipped on his sweat-slicked skin. Biting down on her throat, he earned himself a low moan of his name and when she suddenly hooked her leg around his body and flipped them so that he was under her, he gave her a smile.

This was the Jenny he knew. The one who delivered perfect torture and took no prisoners, leaving him for dead as she gave him a kiss laced with sweet poison, the one he'd fallen in love with more quickly than he ever had with anyone else in his life. She moved over him, her hair falling around them in a flaming waterfall and as she kissed him hard, he moaned into her mouth, making her smile. She kept moving at that same maddening pace, just fast enough to make him want more and he gripped her hips hard enough to bruise as he moved with her.

He raised up enough to pull her breast into his mouth, placing his hands on her lower back to keep her from falling, and she gasped as he swirled his tongue over her slowly. Not wanting her to have the upper hand for too long, he flipped them again, her leg over his shoulder as he moved his hips against hers, and when she kissed him again, she pulled his bottom lip between her teeth, smirking when he moaned her name.

"Don't stop," she whispered.

He moved faster, kissing her again, and she tightened her grip on his shoulders, her breath coming in short, quick gasps.

"Oh, fuck, Jethro..."

Her fingers slipped on his skin as she came, her breath freezing in her chest, and as he kept moving, he kissed her throat, breathing in the scent of sweat, sex, and vanilla. His own release hit him hard, making him growl her name from between clenched teeth, and as he buried his head in her hair, he kissed her collarbone breathlessly. The long red strands of her hair were stuck to both of them, and as he brushed it back from her face, his eyes found hers, sapphire landing on emerald.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Jethro."


Later that night as he held her in his arms, Gibbs could tell that Jenny was lost in thought, her eyes staring far off into the distance, and when he tapped her lightly on the side of her head, she jumped, blinking as she turned.

"You okay?"

She nodded, but there was something in her eyes that made him shake his head and he frowned as he watched her.

"You know you can talk to me about anything."

Jenny sighed, looking at him seriously.

"I hate being wrong," she said quietly, "and I hate admitting that I was wrong even more, but...I was wrong. And I'm sorry."

He frowned, wondering what in the hell she was talking about, but just as he was preparing to ask her to explain, she opened her mouth again, her voice just as quiet as it had been before.

"I don't want to sabotage this and love isn't anything like it's advertised. I know I have a tendency to push people away and be a bitch, especially when I get scared. I keep assuming that you're going to do shit that might break my heart, so I keep my guard up...and I know it's confusing. I know my past and my scars make it difficult, and...I know you don't deserve that. I was wrong to put you through it."

He shook his head as he reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, causing her to turn again, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder as he kissed her cheek.

"You're not wrong, but you are insane," he told her with a quiet laugh, "Don't you remember how long it took me to tell you about Shannon and Kelly? I completely understand you wanting to keep your guard up. Especially given what happened with Derek. I still owe him a black eye for handcuffing you to your bed and trying to kill you."

Jenny laughed, laying her head on his shoulder, and as he kissed her hair, Gibbs smiled, wondering how on earth he'd gotten so lucky.


As he finished making the bed, Gibbs frowned as he realised that something was different about the room. He glanced around the space curiously, searching for anything out of place, and when he could find nothing, he shrugged, assuming he had simply imagined it. Soft piano music filled his living room as Jenny played and he allowed himself a small smile as he listened to her. She'd made such incredible progress, both in her playing and in managing her bulimia, though he knew they still weren't out of the woods yet. He couldn't help but feel proud of her and as he picked up the pillow from the end of the bed, he was again struck with the feeling that something was different. As he walked to the door, he suddenly realised what it was and shook his head as he began laughing to himself.

The room smelled of vanilla, the scent so uniquely Jenny that it made his head spin, and when he walked into the living room, he called her name softly so as not to startle her. She stopped playing, turning to look at him, and when she noticed the look on his face, she frowned.

"What's so funny?"

He beckoned for her to follow him and as she did so, she felt her confusion growing stronger. What in the world was going on? She nearly collided with him as he stopped in the bedroom and she sighed as he looked at her expectantly.

"What? You made the bed? Congratulations. You did the bare minimum of cleaning," she said sarcastically.

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head and gestured around the room broadly.

"Do you notice anything different about this room?"

She shook her head, more confused than ever, and he laughed again.

"It smells like vanilla in here."

"And? Is that a matter of national importance?"

"No, Jen. It smells like you. My bedroom smells like you."

Jenny frowned, staring at him as though she'd never seen him before.

"What?"

"Your perfume smells like vanilla. It's all over the room."

"Is that a problem?"

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, kissing her as he led her back into the living room, shaking his head.

"Not a problem at all."


Shepard

Though she knew she shouldn't, Jenny found herself emptying bottle after bottle of water as she slowly ate the food in front of her and even as she stood to make her way to the restroom, she knew that what she was doing was wrong. She couldn't have explained it if she'd tried, but she felt as though her body was being controlled by some outside force, and as she fell to her knees in the empty stall, she felt tears gather in her eyes.

Her fingers found their way to the back of her throat, making her cough, and as her stomach heaved, her left hand gathered her hair at the base of her neck. She jerked her hand out of the way as she felt the food begin its journey back up her throat, and as she spat it into the water, she closed her eyes, both afraid of getting anything in them and too ashamed of what she'd done to look. As hard as she tried, she couldn't stop herself from crying as she placed her fingers down her throat again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Finally, it was done and as she washed her hands, she rubbed them together harder than she meant to in an attempt to control the shaking in her fingers. Her throat burned with each breath she took, making her feel slightly worried, but she still painted a smile on her face as she left the room, making a quick stop at her office as she did so.

She could see DiNozzo sitting at his desk as she walked down the steps and she shook her head as she watched him attempting to build a pyramid of cards on the smooth surface. Some things never changed. She said nothing as she approached him, silently warning McGee to stay silent, and as she stood just outside his line of vision, Jenny cleared her throat quietly. DiNozzo jumped, swearing loudly as his creation toppled to the desk top, and when he turned to see who was standing behind him, he arranged his features in an appropriately chastised expression.

"Director Shepard! This isn't what it looks like!"

Jenny raised her eyebrow, staring at him as she fought the urge to laugh.

"It looks like you were building a pyramid of cards, Agent DiNozzo."

"Oh...um..." he paused glancing at the cards littering his desk, "then I guess it's exactly what it looks like..."

Holding out the piece of paper in her hand, Jenny rolled her eyes, waiting for him to take it.

"Your search warrant," she explained.

"Thank you, Director."

Looking at him pointedly, Jenny nodded her head in the direction of the elevator, indicating that he should follow her.

"I was just about to touch base with Ducky on your case. Come with me,"

He nodded, following her quickly, and as soon as they had stepped into the lift, Jenny rolled her eyes at him again, shaking her head.

"Really, Tony? A pyramid of cards? You're supposed to be solving this case."

"I know, I was waiting for a follow-up on a lead. I swear, Jenny, I really am trying."

She nodded, covering her mouth with her hand as she coughed.

"I know," she assured him quietly, pretending her throat wasn't killing her, "If there's anything I can do to help...just ask."

"Well, now that you mention it, I am a little stumped on this one. We don't have anything linking the killings other than the calling card. Who's to say we don't just have a copycat?"

"That closely together? Seems unlikely. The distance is too small, and each victim was of the same physical build, age, and ethnicity. Most serial killers keep some sort of trophy from their victims. Look for something like that. Think about it in the simplest of terms. Primal instincts, DiNozzo."

DiNozzo whistled, shaking his head slowly.

"Damn, Shep. You should have stayed a field agent. You're too good for your job."

Jenny laughed, coughing again, and when she stopped, DiNozzo frowned, glancing down at her curiously.

"What happened to your hand?"

"What?"

He nodded at her hand and Jenny looked at it in confusion as she raised it to her eye level. Drops of blood stained the otherwise porcelain skin and she shook her head.

"I don't know."

She coughed again, feeling that familiar burning again, and when she looked down at her hand again, DiNozzo's eyes widened at the larger amount of blood on her skin as he reached out to hit the emergency stop button.

"Jenny."

She shook her head, her eyes dark with fear, and he reached out to touch her shoulder gently, his voice soft.

"How long has it been since you last threw up?"

She was silent and he shook her slightly, his tone more serious as he spoke again.

"How long? This is important!"

"About ten minutes," she whispered.

His eyes softened at her words and he took one look at her violently shaking body, making the decision to hug her almost immediately.

"It was just a slip, Red. Doesn't mean you failed. It happens. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"How can I not?" she said quietly, angrily, "I've come this far, I shouldn't be fucking it up now. It's so..."

She stopped, her eyes wide, and when he realised how fast her breathing had become, DiNozzo frowned, looking at her worriedly.

"Shep, you okay?"

She didn't answer, her breathing still far too fast for his liking, and he stepped back, holding her hand in his, trying to make her look at him.

"Sit down, okay? I'm gonna call Ducky."

He pulled out his phone, dialing the number for autopsy quickly, praying the doctor hadn't stepped out.

"Autopsy."

"Ducky, thank God...I need you to come to the elevator in about twenty seconds. Make it quick."

He hung up, hitting the emergency stop, and as they began to move again, DiNozzo helped Jenny to sit, kneeling in front of her and taking her hand in his again.

"Easy, Shep...it's okay. Just try to breathe slow."

The doors opened seconds later, Ducky on the other side, and as he stepped in next to DiNozzo, he frowned at the sight before him.

"What happened?"

"Think she's having a panic attack. Is there anything you can do?"

The doctor knelt down, looking at her seriously and as the doors slid shut again, he glanced up at DiNozzo, nodding his head.

"Anthony, hit the emergency stop, if you please."

DiNozzo nodded, hitting the switch at once, and as soon as the lift powered down, Ducky turned his attention back to the redhead in front of him, frowning when he realised how badly she was hyperventilating.

"Jennifer, I want you to take my hand and focus on slowing your breathing. Can you do that?"

She didn't answer and Ducky lightly tapped her cheek with the back of his hand, forcing her to focus.

"Take my hand."

Her own hands were shaking so badly that she could hardly move them, but she managed to reach for his, holding it tightly, and when he looked into her wide eyes, he took a deep breath.

"Now, I want you to take a slow, deep breath, and when you feel me squeeze your fingers, I want you to exhale. Okay?"

She shook her head, her words coming out in a breathless rush.

"I c-can't, Ducky."

"Yes, you can. We'll take this slow. Breathe in."

Slowly, so slowly that it made even DiNozzo begin to feel anxious, Jenny closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, and as Ducky counted to ten in his head, he moved closer, using his free hand to brush her hair back from her face. He finally squeezed her hand, watching her closely to make sure she didn't exhale too fast, and when he was finally satisfied, he nodded at her once.

"Again, please."

She took another deep breath, feeling her heart begin to slow slightly as she waited to feel the pressure on her fingers, and when she exhaled fifteen seconds later, Ducky gave her an encouraging smile.

"One more time, Jennifer."

As the oxygen filled her lungs. Jenny closed her eyes, trying to control the shaking that had taken over her entire body. She exhaled slowly, gripping Ducky's hand like a lifeline, and when he moved forward to hug her gently, she let her head fall onto his shoulder, fighting the urge to cry.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "to both of you. I shouldn't be breaking down like this."

Ducky frowned, leaning back just far enough that he could look at her.

"And why not? Jennifer, maybe you haven't noticed, but you've gone through a very emotional and stressful time these past few months. I'm not surprised that you've been struggling. You're emotionally and mentally exhausted, my dear. You need to take time for yourself and focus on what makes you happy."

"You're doing a hell of a lot better than I would be, Jenny," DiNozzo added, moving to sit next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, "But that doesn't mean that you're not allowed to acknowledge your own pain. And you have to know that we all love you. If you ever need anything, all you have to do is ask."

Jenny was silent for a long moment and when she finally spoke again, her voice was a strained whisper.

"I don't know how."

DiNozzo nodded, kissing her cheek gently.

"I know. That's why you need to listen to Ducky and do something that makes you happy. Go home, call Gibbs and spend the day doing whatever you want. Even if it's just sitting on the couch together."

"Anthony is right, my dear. Even you are allowed to fall sometimes."

Though she wasn't sure it would really help, Jenny nodded, accepting DiNozzo's hand as she stood, wondering if perhaps they made a very good point. Maybe she did need to focus on herself rather than everyone else for once.


Gibbs

As soon as he entered the room, he could tell something was different, and when he realised what it was, he frowned. The room smelled of eucalyptus and lavender, a scent he'd never encountered in Jenny's apartment before, and when he noticed that she'd drawn the curtains and was sitting on the floor with her legs crossed, his confusion only intensified. He called her name quietly, not wanting to scare her, and she opened her eyes slowly, nodding at the couch in front of her.

"Give me one minute."

He nodded, sitting on the couch slowly, and as he watched, she closed her eyes again, breathing deeply. He'd never seen her do anything even remotely close to meditation before, and while this didn't strike him as meditation per se, it was still odd. A wide array of emotions passed over her face as he sat waiting for her to speak again, and when the alarm on her phone sounded exactly one minute later, she reached for it without opening her eyes.

Finally, she looked at him, her eyes lit by the flickering flame of the candle she'd lit, and when she made her way over to the couch, she gave him a small smile.

"What was that?"

She sighed, running her hand through her hair.

"I had a panic attack at work today," she said quietly, "and I was reading earlier about ways to deal with anxiety. One of the ways was to sit in a dark room, light a candle, and give the feeling one minute of your time. Acknowledge it for that full minute, let it run its course, and then it should be easier than pushing it to the back of your mind and waiting for it to tear you apart. I figured it couldn't hurt to try it, so I did."

Gibbs nodded, reaching for her hand slowly.

"And how do you feel now?"

Considering his words carefully, Jenny leaned back against his chest, listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart.

"A bit better, actually. I think it may have helped. It might not work every time, but anything is better than what happened today. I was literally hyperventilating in the elevator with DiNozzo and Ducky. Think they were both a bit freaked out."

She laughed quietly, moving closer to him, and when she felt him begin to run his fingers through her hair, she smiled.

"Know what caused it?"

Jenny sighed, settling more comfortably in his embrace and met his eyes slowly.

"Ducky says I'm emotionally and mentally exhausted. Says I need to take time to do things that make me happy. Hence the reason I'm here with you. You make me happier than I've ever been in my life."

She paused for a moment before glancing up at him again, her voice slightly hesitant as she spoke.

"Do I make you happy, Jethro?"

He said nothing, gathering his thoughts, and Jenny laughed sarcastically.

"Your stunned silence is very reassuring," she deadpanned.

Gibbs laughed, kissing her hair gently.

"When I moved in here, my only goal was to live my life alone and spend my time running from the memories of Shannon and Kelly. You came into my world like a hurricane and destroyed all of those plans. And I couldn't be happier about it. So yes, Jen...you make me happier than I ever thought I could be again."

Jenny tilted her head slightly, the angle just enough that she could kiss his throat, and he smiled as he shifted enough to kiss her back. She smiled as he turned to face her, pulling him closer as their lips met again, running her hand through his hair.

"I have an idea, Jethro."

He raised his eyebrow in question and when she continued, there was no mistaking the tone of her voice.

"Why don't we go somewhere a bit more comfortable and you can show me exactly how happy you are?"

"Have I ever told you that you're brilliant, Jen?"

"Might have mentioned it once or twice."


Shepard

Jenny frowned at the unknown number as her phone rang, and when she held it up to her ear, she took a deep breath.

"Shepard."

"Hi, is this Meredith?"

"No, sorry. I think you've got the wrong number."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Jenny laughed, shaking her head as she placed the dish in her hand back into the water.

"No problem."

She hung up the phone, laughing quietly to herself again, and when her phone rang again not even a full minute later, she jumped, unused to the sound in the quiet.

"Shepard."

"Sorry to bother you, but I just have a question. Why would a woman give out a fake number to a guy she really seemed to hit it off with?"

Jenny laughed again, moving from the kitchen to the living room as she balanced her phone between her ear and shoulder.

"I'm not sure. I've never done that before. Maybe she just didn't want to be in a relationship right now, or maybe she panicked at the last moment."

"Never thought about that. Well, thanks for answering. Have a nice day."

"You, too."

As soon as she hung up the phone, she felt arms wrap around her waist from behind, causing her to turn, and when she smiled at the man she'd never imagined would come into her life, he gave her a kiss.

"Important call?"

She shook her head.

"Wrong number."

Jenny turned her attention to the coffee pot, glaring at it when it took longer to begin brewing than she would have liked, and as she shook her head, he frowned.

"Hurry up, Tony," she snapped, smacking the side of the pot sharply.

"Tony?" he repeated.

"Named it after DiNozzo."

"Why?"

"It doesn't work when I want it to."

The sound of his laughter was the best thing Jenny had ever heard.


The low ringing of her phone snapped Jenny out of her thoughts and she frowned as she looked at the number, wondering who would be calling her that she didn't know. Gibbs was at work, no one at work had any reason to be calling, and there was no one else who would have any reason to be calling.

"Shepard."

"Hi. I know you don't know me, but I called you a few days ago with a wrong number."

"Looking for Meredith again?"

"No, I was just wondering if you wanted to talk. I...this is embarrassing, but I just moved to the area and I don't know anyone."

"Oh. Well, um...I'm in a relationship, and—"

"No, no...I'm not looking for that. I really just would like to make a friend."

Jenny frowned, thinking hard, and finally she nodded, though she knew no one could see her.

"Well, okay. I guess that would be okay."

"I'm Jack, by the way."

"Jenny. Listen Jack, it was nice to hear from you, but I really have to go. Can we maybe talk later?"

She couldn't have explained it even if she'd tried, but the panic that was building in both her mind and her chest, she simply knew she needed to talk to Gibbs. Fast.

"Sure. Thanks, Jenny."

She hung up, calling Gibbs as soon as she'd ended her conversation with Jack, and as his voice came down the line, she felt instantly calmer.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

"Jethro, are you busy?"

"Not really, why?"

Jenny took a deep breath, trying to understand exactly why she felt the need to hear his voice, and shook her head.

"I just...I needed to hear your voice. It's been a rough day, and I...I don't know what to do."

"Okay. What's going on in your head?"

"I don't...I can't explain it. I got a phone call from a friend, and I just felt really anxious the entire time for no reason at all. I'm just so...Jethro, I feel like I can't breathe."

It was true: her chest had tightened to a point where she felt as though she had a block of cement crushing her lungs, and each breath was becoming a struggle. She could hear Gibbs talking, but the words made little sense to her, and as she realised he had said her name, she forced herself to focus.

"Jen?"

"Y-yeah?"

"I'm on my way."

Before she even had time to react, he had hung up the phone, and as she let her own fall to the floor, she closed her eyes tightly, trying to calm her racing heart. She moved to the center of the room, crossing her legs and closing her eyes, trying to allow her emotions a minute to process, and as she did so, she realised she could feel her hands shaking in her lap.

When the full minute had passed, Jenny opened her eyes, taking a slow deep breath, and while she still felt the tug of anxiety in the back of her mind, it was nowhere near as strong as it had been a mere sixty seconds ago. She stayed where she was until she heard the familiar sound of Gibbs' knock on her door, and as soon as she opened it, he gave her a serious look, his eyes roaming over her slowly.

"Jen?"

"I'm okay now."

To prove her point, she pulled him into the apartment, kissing him long and slow, her hands sliding under his shirt, and when she had pulled away, he met her eyes seriously.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded.

"Absolutely. But that in no way means that I'm ready to let you leave."

"Jen, if you need—"

"The only thing I need is you," she whispered, "and that scares the hell out of me sometimes."

Gibbs frowned, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"Why does that scare you?"

"Because I've never needed anyone like this before," Jenny admitted quietly, "You keep me grounded, you pull me back from the edge, out of the darkness. I don't know what I would do without you."

"You'll never have to find out, Jen," he whispered, kissing her as he pulled her into his arms, "I promise."


A/N: Hope you liked it!