A/N: I am SO very sorry for the delay in this update! I've been extremely ill (COVID-19) and as such, I've only just now found the time/energy to post this. I hope you're all still with me and that you enjoy this next chapter!
Shepard
When Jenny finished dressing for work that morning, she made her way into the kitchen, her only focus on finding the hottest cup of coffee that she could stand. She gave Gibbs a quick kiss as she passed him on his way to the shower and when she saw Carly sitting at the table, her nose buried in the textbook in front of her, she frowned.
"Have you been sitting here all night?" she asked.
Carly shook her head, taking a drink of the coffee in front of her, not even glancing in her direction.
"No, I got up around 5. Took a shower, got dressed, made coffee."
Jenny nodded, pouring her own cup, and as she took a drink, she smiled, a sudden idea coming to her.
"Hey, why don't you come to work with me today? We could make a whole day of it."
Carly frowned.
"What about school?"
"Do you have any exams today?"
The younger girl shook her head after a moments thought and Jenny smiled again.
"Good. What do you think? It could be a lesson in character study. My former team could definitely use a therapist and it would be good practice for you."
Carly finally nodded, draining her coffee, and as Jenny grabbed her jacket from the back of a chair, she gave the girl a warm look.
"This is going to be fun," she said with a laugh.
From the moment they walked in, everyone's eyes followed Jenny and Carly all the way to her office, curious to know who the girl with the Director was, whether she was a personal friend or professional, and as they passed Cynthia's desk, Carly gave her a slightly nervous look.
"Everyone's watching us."
Jenny nodded.
"I bet it will only take about twenty minutes for Tony DiNozzo to find some excuse to come knocking on the door."
Carly laughed.
"Your old partner?"
Jenny smiled, nodding as she switched on her computer.
"One and the same. He's notoriously nosy."
Sitting down in the chair across from Jenny's desk, Carly laughed again, shrugging out of her coat.
"So, what do you do all day?"
Jenny sighed.
"Answer endless emails, schedule various speaking engagements, make sure that DiNozzo doesn't get himself and McGee killed, and oversee ops. That kind of thing. It's mind-numbing some days, but someone has to do it, and the money is nice. Unfortunately, I work now more than I did when I was the team leader, and these late nights are starting to get to me. At least with you here, I have an excuse to leave on time today."
The knock on her door made Jenny laugh quietly, giving Carly an "I told you so" look, and as she granted the visitor entrance, she reached for her coffee. Sure enough, Tony DiNozzo was standing on the other side and as he walked into her office, he gave Carly a smile.
"Morning, Shep. I wanted to bring you our reports from our latest case."
Jenny smiled, reaching out to take the papers from his outstretched hand.
"Are you sure your presence has nothing to do with the fact that I have a guest with me today?"
"I—uh, well, maybe a little. Friend of yours?" he asked somewhat sheepishly.
"You could say that. She's my daughter," Jenny said, her voice giving away nothing.
DiNozzo frowned.
"I didn't...I, um, you have a daughter?"
"Carly, Tony DiNozzo. DiNozzo, Carly."
Carly laughed as a sudden incident occurred to her and she looked at Jenny with a mischievous look in her eyes.
"Is this the Tony that you named your coffee pot after at home?"
Jenny nodded, hardly able to hold in her laughter, and DiNozzo gave her a strange look.
"You named your coffee pot after me? Why?"
"Because it doesn't work when I want it to," Jenny replied smoothly, nodding in the direction of the door.
Taking the hint, DiNozzo nodded, waving once at Carly as he walked towards the door, shaking his head in both confusion and annoyance. Jenny burst into laughter as soon as the door had closed behind him, giving Carly a thankful look.
"That made my day, little one," she said, still laughing, "Thank you."
By midday, news of Carly's presence had made its way around the building, and just before lunch, Ducky ventured up from autopsy, knocking lightly on Jenny's door. He gave both women a smile as he handed Carly a cup of tea, looking at Jenny seriously.
"I must say, you're quite the talk of the building today, Jennifer. Nearly everyone is trying to understand how you could have a daughter that no one knew about until today."
Jenny shrugged.
"I like messing with their heads," she said with a laugh, "and besides, she might not be biologically mine, but that doesn't make her any less mine now."
Carly frowned, taking a drink of her tea, but saying nothing. Ducky smiled at Jenny, nodding once.
"Well, it's lovely to see you again, Carly. How have you been getting along in your studies?"
Carly smiled.
"I'm almost ready to take my graduation exams. If I pass, I can start college a year early. I've already been accepted into a few, but I'm mainly going to study online. It will cut down on expenses, and allow me to study at my own pace."
Ducky nodded, looking at her warmly.
"If I can provide any assistance, please don't hesitate. Oh, that reminds me, you really should meet Abigail before you leave. She's most insistent."
"If you like, you can go now. I've got a meeting in five minutes and Abby can keep you busy while I'm not here," Jenny supplied helpfully, "Just ask Cynthia to direct you in the proper way."
Carly nodded and as soon as she had disappeared with Jenny's assistant, Ducky gave the redhead a smile, looking at her knowingly as she stood up.
"I take it things are going well with Carly?"
Jenny nodded, smiling at him as she grabbed her phone and placed it in her back pocket.
"Surprisingly, yes. She's a very smart girl and I'm already so proud of her that I can't even believe it. Jethro doesn't say much, but I can tell he loves having her around."
Ducky kissed her cheek as she passed him, his eyes bright.
"I guess your stubborn nature was right, Ducky."
"As was yours, Jennifer. You're not one to give up easily."
Jenny laughed.
"You can say that again."
Though she hadn't said as much, Jenny could tell that something was bothering Carly, and as they sat down to a table near the back of the coffee shop, the redhead gave her a concerned look.
"What's wrong, Carly?"
The younger girl frowned, stirring her coffee slowly, and as she took a long drink, she shook her head, her eyes downcast.
"Why did you lie to Doctor Mallard?"
Jenny frowned, unsure of what she meant.
"Pardon?"
"Earlier. You told him that I was basically your daughter now."
Shaking her head, Jenny reached out to take her hand, looking into her eyes seriously.
"Listen to me, little one. I'm about to say something that is severely mushy and feminine, so take note. It doesn't happen often. You're right that you're not biologically my daughter, but that doesn't mean that I love you any less. You came into my life at precisely the right moment, when I needed you and you needed me. We've only been in each other's lives for a short amount of time, but I already love you, more than I've loved anyone in a non-romantic way since my mother died. I'm so proud of all you've accomplished and will continue to accomplish. You're an extraordinary young woman and I can't wait to see how far you go."
Jenny took a drink of her coffee, looking at Carly in mock seriousness.
"And if you tell anyone what I just said, I'll deny it. Jenny Shepard doesn't do emotions, got it?"
Carly laughed, taking a drink from her coffee, and as she did so, she gave Jenny a playful smile.
"Does this mean I can start calling you "Mom" now?"
"We'll see," Jenny replied.
She would never admit it, but she was almost as nervous as Carly was on the day of her final exam, shaking her head as Gibbs poured her another drink. He gave her a strange look as she took it from his hand, wondering what she was so anxious about.
"Jen?"
She met his gaze slowly, her drink still held in her hand, and he frowned.
"What's wrong? Seem worried about something."
"Just wondering how she did."
"With as much as she's been studying, she aced it."
Jenny smiled, but her heart wasn't in it.
"I hope you're right, Leroy Jethro."
The door opened as Carly returned, her bag slung across her shoulder, and as she set it down on the ground, Gibbs gave her a smile. It took everything Jenny possessed not to jump from her seat and demand answers, but it turned out she didn't need to.
"So, bad news," Carly began, deliberately not looking at Jenny.
Gibbs frowned, taking a step closer, and Jenny sighed, looking at her sadly.
"I hate to tell you guys this, but I'm going to be in debt for the rest of my life! I passed!"
Jenny couldn't contain her smile as Carly ran over, hugging her tightly.
"I knew you could do it, little one! Congratulations! We're so proud of you!"
Gibbs smiled, nodding at her when she glanced at him.
"Good job, kid."
Jenny smiled as she hugged Carly again and when she happened to glance over at Gibbs again, she could have sworn that there were tears in his bright blue eyes.
Gibbs
He would deny it to anyone who asked, but Gibbs was just as proud of Carly as if she was his flesh and blood daughter and as he made his way back upstairs, he frowned to himself as he tried to think of the best way to give her the gift he'd already planned on. When he realised Jenny was nowhere to be found on the first floor of the house, he was puzzled, but when Carly noticed the look on his face she laughed, nodding at the steps.
"She's in the shower."
Gibbs nodded, walking into the living room and stopping just in front of her, reaching into his back pocket. Wordlessly, he handed her the card he'd hidden in the basement. She took it, smiling when she read the front, and as she opened it, her expression changed into one of confusion. Pulling the small piece of paper out from between the center of the card, she frowned when she read the amount written on the check.
"Jethro, you-you're not really giving me this, are you?"
He nodded.
"It's not much, but it should help with books, living expenses if you change your mind about online classes, whatever you need."
"Not much?" she repeated, "Jethro, this is five thousand dollars! I've never had that much money in my life! How—how can you afford this?"
He shrugged.
"Had it set aside for Kelly. Figured it might as well go to someone who needs it."
He was so taken aback when Carly flung herself from the couch, her arms locking around his neck as she hugged him. He slowly returned the hug, reminding him so strongly of his daughter that it hurt, and as she released him, she was smiling brighter than the August sun.
"Thank you, Jethro. So much."
Gibbs nodded, kissing her on the cheek.
"You're welcome."
Jenny joined them minutes later, squeezing water from her hair with a towel, and as Carly showed her the card and gift he'd given her, the redhead's eyes narrowed.
"You trying to make me look bad?"
He shrugged, raising his eyebrow in mock surprise.
"Not my fault you didn't get her a gift."
Jenny laughed, shaking her head as she sat down.
"What makes you think I didn't?"
She turned to Carly, looking at her seriously.
"I will admit, it's not as impressive as Jethro's gift, but I had your car detailed, had all the fluids checked, and had it waxed. I would have done more, but—"
Carly silenced her words with a hug, and as Jenny returned it, she met Gibbs' eyes over the top of her head. He nodded at her, smiling as they broke apart. It was, in his opinion, a great way to end his day.
Through no fault of her own, Carly's presence had caused every buried memory that Gibbs had of his beloved daughter to resurface, and as he sat on the bed late one night, waiting for Jenny to come home from work, he closed his eyes, losing himself in them. Her first steps, first word, the way she'd smiled at him as he'd taught her to ride a bike...he still hated himself for missing the actual day of her birth because he'd been deployed, but he'd come home two months later, so proud and excited that he hadn't been able to stand it.
She'd been so small, so delicate as he'd held her the first time, her wide blue eyes staring up at him, trusting him completely, relying on him to keep her safe...
"Jethro?"
He jumped, opening his eyes quickly, and when he saw Jenny standing at the edge of the bed, he nodded at her.
"Are you okay?"
Damn her for being so perceptive.
"M'fine."
She didn't believe him, he could see it in her eyes, and when she sat down next to him, she reached for his hand, holding it gently.
"What's wrong?"
"Just thinking."
She rolled her eyes.
"About what?"
He sighed. She really wasn't going to let this go, was she?
"Kelly," he admitted, "Having Carly here...made me think about her."
Jenny's eyes softened at his words, shifting her body to be closer to his, and when she ran her fingers through his hair, her touch was almost unbearably gentle.
"You can talk about her if you want."
He shook his head.
"Maybe some other time."
Jenny smiled, still running her fingers through his hair, and as she moved closer, she laughed quietly.
"You know what this means, right? We're going to have a therapist living with us from now on. Maybe she can figure out what's wrong with your brain."
Gibbs raised his eyebrow in question and she shook her head.
"Well, let's face it: we all know my sanity is a lost cause, and there has to be something seriously wrong with you for you to be with me. No one in their right mind would ever do that."
He pulled her closer, brushing her long red hair behind her ear, his lips soft against her skin as he kissed her.
"I dunno, Jen," he said gently, trailing his lips along her jawline, "I think you're a pretty remarkable person."
She turned her head slightly, kissing him slowly, and her hands moved to trail through his hair as she smiled. He carefully pushed her back onto the mattress, running his hands over her legs, and she pulled him closer as he bit down softly on her bottom lip. He had just slipped his hand under the hem of her shirt when a low vibration reached their ears, and Jenny sighed, pulling away from him in disappointment.
"Damn it," she muttered, "Rain check?"
He nodded, handing her the phone, and as she answered it, he could tell it was taking all of her self control to keep her annoyance from her voice.
"Shepard."
He helped her to an upright position, still running his hand over her leg as she listened to the voice on the other end of the line. She tensed suddenly, her demeanour instantly shifting, and when she spoke next, he could detect a hint of fear in her voice.
"Where are you?"
He frowned as she stood, reaching for her purse, her expression serious.
"Stay where you are. I'm on my way."
She hung up the phone and he stood, watching her carefully.
"Carly?"
She shook her head.
"Jack. He was at a bar and some of the guys there attacked him. He says he's okay, but I'm going to at least give him a ride home."
Gibbs nodded, grabbing his keys from the bedside table.
"Let's go. I'll drive."
She frowned.
"Jethro, you don't have to—"
"I know," he answered gently, "I want to."
Jenny smiled, more than a little grateful for his offer. If she were being honest, she wasn't sure how much she trusted herself to drive carefully.
Jenny threw herself out of the truck as soon as they reached the parking lot of the bar, making her way quickly over to where Jack was sitting on the pavement, leaving Gibbs to park the truck on his own. She immediately helped Jack to his feet, her eyes surveying the damage quickly, and aside from a few bruises and cuts, he seemed to be faring well. Gibbs joined them seconds later, nodding at Jack as they walked closer to the vehicle, and as soon as they were standing next to it, Jenny hugged him tightly, looking at him seriously.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
He nodded, giving her a smile that was meant to be reassuring, but was made slightly grotesque by the blood on his face.
"Fine. All things considered, I was pretty lucky. And look at it this way: I have an interesting story to tell at the office on Monday."
"What happened?"
He shrugged.
"I may or may not have made a pass at a guy who was decidedly not gay. He didn't take too kindly to it and neither did his friends."
"A simple "No, thank you" or "I'm not interested" wouldn't have been enough?" Jenny asked.
"Apparently not," Jack said with a tight laugh.
Opening the door of the truck, Jenny helped him into the cab, pulling herself up beside him immediately after, and as Gibbs climbed into the driver's seat, he gave her a look that she couldn't quite identify. The ride to Jack's apartment was silent and as soon as they'd pulled into the lot, he gave Jenny a tired smile.
"Thanks, Jenny. I know you didn't have to do this, but it means a lot to me that you did."
Jenny hugged him as he climbed over her to reach the door, her voice warm.
"Don't mention it."
"Oh, I almost forgot! Jenny, I have a late Christmas present for you. Give me a few seconds to run up to my place and grab it. Be right back!"
It wasn't until he had disappeared up the steps to his apartment that Jenny looked up, feeling Gibbs' eyes on her, and he reached for her hand, his voice low in the darkness.
"You okay?"
She sighed, closing her eyes.
"Can we talk about it when we get home?"
Gibbs nodded, kissing her hand before letting it go, and when a light tapping on the window drew her attention, Jenny jumped slightly. She rolled it down, eyeing the package in Jack's hand with curiosity, and he passed it to her with a bright smile.
"Sorry it's so late. I completely forgot about bringing it the last time I saw you. I hope you like it."
Leaning in through the window, Jack held out his hand to Gibbs, his eyes locking on the older man's with a smile.
"Thanks for the ride, Jethro. I really appreciate it."
Gibbs smiled, shaking his hand warmly.
"No worries. Call if you need anything."
As he moved to back away from the truck, Jack kissed Jenny's cheek before waving to them as they drove away. Jenny said nothing the entire way back to Gibbs' house, merely staring out the window at the passing scenery as it flew by, and when they had parked in the driveway, she climbed out of the cab without so much as a glance in his direction.
Carly glanced up when the door opened, placing her pen in the crease of the book she'd been taking notes from, and as Jenny walked into the kitchen, Gibbs shook his head at the questioning look in the young girl's eyes. The redhead wasted no time in pouring herself a drink, unable to ignore the way her hands were shaking, and she swept back through the living room and up the stairs without so much as a word spoken.
"Is she okay?" Carly asked, looking at Gibbs in concern.
Gibbs frowned, looking at her sadly.
"I don't know."
Glass of bourbon held tightly in her hand, Jenny sat down slowly on the bed, taking a long drink of the amber liquid as she tried to sort through the thoughts spinning around in her mind. She drained the glass seconds later, shuddering slightly as it settled in her stomach, and she laid her head in her hands, sighing as she closed her eyes.
She didn't move in the slightest when the mattress dipped with Gibbs' added weight and as he placed his hand on her knee, she took a slow breath.
"Whenever you're ready, Jen."
She raised her head, still silent as she stood and walked from the room, leaving Gibbs more than a little confused. When she returned moments later, bottle of bourbon held tightly in her pale hand, he suddenly understood, and when he realised her hands were shaking, he reached out to take the bottle from her. Pouring a generous measure of alcohol into her glass, he waited until she'd taken another drink to get up and close the door, looking back at her in concern.
"Why did this happen, Jethro?" she said suddenly, "There was no reason for those men to attack Jack. All they had to do was say that they weren't interested or something like that. It didn't have to be like this."
He nodded, moving closer and as he sat down next to her, he laid his hand on her thigh, giving her support in the only way he knew how.
"Did you ever hear about that boy in Wyoming who was murdered because he was gay? Two men beat him and tied him to a fence. Just left him for dead all night. The person who found him originally thought that his body was a scarecrow. He died six days later from the injuries. All because he was different. No one should be treated that way just because they aren't like everyone else."
Gibbs nodded.
"I heard about it. Wasn't his name Matthew?"
"Matthew Shepard," Jenny said with a nod.
"Was he related to—"
"No," she shook her head, "No relation. But he was only twenty-one. How can people be so cruel? So heartless? I just don't understand it."
"That's because you have a heart. It's one of the things I love most about you. Jen, you're one of the most empathetic people I've ever known. You can relate to people, you're able to put yourself in their shoes. But it's also going to cause you a lot of unnecessary pain. You have to learn when to walk away."
He paused for a moment, thinking.
"You're one of those people who cries during sad movies, aren't you?"
"Only if I'm alone," she admitted with a small laugh, "You should have seen me the first time I watched "Titanic". I was a mess. But I wasn't upset about the characters in the film. I mean, I was, but I was more upset about the real people that died that night. So many lives lost. It just wasn't fair."
"Don't ever watch anything about the Holocaust, Jen," he told her seriously, "It just might break you."
She nodded.
"The first time I read "The Diary of Anne Frank", I cried for hours."
"That's what I mean. You have to set boundaries for yourself, learn to distance yourself emotionally. You hide everything under layers upon layers of sarcasm, but underneath that is an incredibly sensitive person. You feel things deeply, even to the point of being overwhelmed by them, and while it can be a good thing, like your amazing intuition, it can also be dangerous."
Jenny was silent for a moment, staring at the now-empty glass in her hand, and when she raised her eyes to his, he wrapped his arm around her.
"I don't think I've ever heard you say so much at one time, Leroy Jethro."
He laughed.
"Yeah. Still meant it, though."
He pulled the glass from her hand, placing it on the bedside table, and when he reached out to turn off the lamp, he brushed his lips over hers softly.
"Let's go to bed, Jen."
She nodded, running her fingers through his hair.
"You're full of great ideas tonight."
"I thought so."
Shepard
It wasn't until she'd woken up the next morning that Jenny remembered that she'd forgotten to open the gift Jack had given her, and as she sat on the bed after her shower, she tried to recall where she'd left it. A quick search showed that it had been placed on the coffee table in the living room and as she sat down on the couch, she picked it up, slowly tearing off the bright wrapping paper. It took her a few moments to realise that the leather-bound book she held in her hands was a sketch book, and as she opened it to the first page, she found that her hands were once again shaking.
The drawing on the page was exquisite, done entirely in pencil, and it took her longer than she was willing to admit to realise that she was staring at her own eyes. Even in charcoal grey, Jack had given them depth, captured her witty smile perfectly, and after she'd absorbed as many details as she could, her attention was captured by the note he'd written in the bottom right corner of the page.
Jenny, I hope this reminds you of just how beautiful you are, even when you can't see it for yourself. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend.
She smiled, turning the page, and as her eyes took in the forest scene in front of her, they filled with tears. He'd drawn a portrait of her and Gibbs, held in a loving embrace beneath a full moon, in the middle of an enchanting forest. The dress he'd drawn was similar to the one she'd worn on her sister's birthday, and she smiled as she stared at the amazing detail.
Reaching for her phone, she quickly dialed his number, waiting anxiously for him to pick up, and as soon as she heard his voice on the line, she felt a smile playing across her lips.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Jack. It's Jenny. How are you feeling?"
"All things considered, not too bad. I've got a little bit of a headache, but I took some aspirin and hopefully it will be gone soon. How are you?"
"I'm fine," she answered with a smile, "I wanted to call and see how you were and to thank you for the gift. It's beautiful."
"Which one was your favourite?"
She frowned, thinking.
"Out of the two of them, the second one, I think. The details were just perfect."
Jack laughed.
"There's more than two. Flip to the third page."
Doing as he asked, Jenny turned the page, nearly dropping the book in shock as her eyes finally registered what they were seeing. Jack had truly outdone himself on this one. In amazing detail, he had somehow (though she had no idea of how) drawn a complete family portrait of not only her family but of Gibbs' and Carly's as well. She didn't know how he'd gotten the details of Shannon and Kelly's features so accurate, but judging on the few photographs she'd seen, she knew he had. She ran her fingers lightly over the drawing, trying to find the words she needed, and shook her head slowly as she tried to tear her eyes away from it.
"Jack, this is incredible," she whispered, "How...how did you do this?"
"I had a little help," he admitted, "I asked Carly for pictures of her family and to see if she could find any of Jethro's, and I knew from him that your mother and sister looked like you, so I just elaborated on that. I'm sorry I didn't include your father in it. I didn't think about it until it was too late and I didn't have time to redo it."
"I...Jack, this is...thank you so much! I love it."
"You're welcome. I'm glad you like it. I was a bit worried, because I knew Jethro had given you that painting of your mother and Heather, so I thought you might be a bit tired of art-related gifts."
"Never," she said with a laugh, "It's absolutely incredible."
After thanking him again, Jenny hung up the phone, still unable to tear her gaze away from the drawing, and as Gibbs walked up the steps from the basement, he frowned at the look on her face, unsure of what was wrong.
"What's that?"
"Jack's Christmas present," she said quietly, passing it to him as he sat down next to her on the couch.
He swore softly as he looked at the picture, running his fingers over his wife and daughter's faces, and when he handed it back to her, she could have sworn there were tears in his bright blue eyes.
"I want to frame this one," Jenny said, looking at him seriously, "We could hang it over the mantle. Unless, you'd rather I—"
"No, it's fine," he assured her with a smile, "Better than fine. It's a great idea. Just let me know when you're ready."
"Have I mentioned how much I love you?" Jenny asked, kissing him gently.
"I don't know. I'm getting old, might need you to remind me."
She laughed, standing up and holding out her hand as she made her way around the coffee table. He took it slowly, allowing her to pull him up the stairs, and when they fell into his bed less than a minute later, Gibbs had to admit that it was a perfect way to spend a Saturday morning.
From the moment Jenny opened the front door, she could tell that something was wrong, though she had no idea of what it could be. The house was eerily silent, not a single person to be found, yet even the very air felt different. She shrugged it off as she hung her coat on the hook by the door and as she made her way through the living room, she flipped through the mail she'd picked up on her way in. After finding nothing of interest in the post, she began walking up the stairs towards the bedroom, intent on finding a book to lose herself in until Gibbs returned home, and she shook her head.
It was strange, being the only person in the house, and as she passed Carly's room, she frowned as she heard something from behind the closed door. It sounded suspiciously like crying, and when she knocked lightly on the door, she frowned in confusion.
"Carly? Are you okay?"
A slight sniffling reached her ears and as she stepped into the room, her eyes landed on the young girl, face-down on her bed, her shoulders shaking as she cried. Jenny moved closer, sitting down on the edge of the bed, unsure of whether or not she should touch her.
"What's wrong?"
Carly turned over slowly, wiping her hand under her eyes, shaking her head tiredly.
"I..." she sighed, her voice trailing off as she tried to gather her thoughts, "I gained five pounds. I know that might seem like something stupid to be upset about and that I'm making a big deal over nothing, but—"
"It doesn't seem like that at all," Jenny said gently, running her hand over Carly's reddish-gold hair softly, "I'm going to let you in on a secret, little one. When I was your age, I was just like you. I counted every calorie, every carb, kept track of every pound that I lost or gained, and did nothing but obsess over food every minute of the day. And when that wasn't enough, I started purging. I was extremely sick for a long time, I got down to a weight that no adult should ever reach, I ended up in the hospital...I'm not completely recovered yet, no sense in denying that, but I'm doing better than I was. It might not seem like it now, Carly, but things will get better for you. You just have to trust me. Take it one day at a time. Hell, if you have to, take it one minute at a time. There's no time frame on recovery."
"How did you do it?" Carly asked, her voice breaking slightly.
"I had to make a choice," Jenny answered, "I had to decide what was more important to me: being thin and miserable or being a normal weight and being happier. Because let me tell you something: no matter how thin I was, I still wasn't happy. Being thin like that, putting yourself through that pain, it doesn't make you happy. It just drives you crazy."
"How do I get rid of the thoughts that I have? I can't just ignore the way I feel."
Jenny shook her head, running her fingers through Carly's hair, her eyes sad.
"Don't ignore it, but when you have those thoughts, try to counter it with a positive thought. For example, if you find yourself thinking that you've gained too much weight, try telling yourself that while you might have gained a bit of weight, you've also done well in your studies. You graduated high school early, and you're going to a great college. All at an incredibly young age. You're going to change people's lives."
"You really think so?"
Jenny nodded, hugging her gently.
"I know so, little one. And if you ever need to talk, I'm always here."
"Thanks, Jenny."
Kissing her hair, Jenny gave her a smile, standing up slowly.
"Anytime."
Hours later, long after Carly had gone to bed and Gibbs had disappeared into the basement, Jenny sat cross-legged on the bed, her eyes closed, candle lit, and a pair of headphones over her ears. Though she'd been able to help Carly earlier in the day, she couldn't deny that it had caused her own doubts and insecurities to resurface, and as she tried to calm her racing thoughts, she took a slow breath. She held it in her lungs for a long moment, exhaling slowly, counting to ten first in English then French as she focused on the music she was listening to.
She was so engrossed in her mediation that she didn't hear the sound of footsteps approaching, and when she felt a hand land on her shoulder, she jumped, swearing loudly as she pulled the headphones from her ears.
"God damn it, Jethro! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!"
He smiled apologetically, looking at her seriously.
"What are you doing up here?"
"Mediating," she replied as though it were obvious.
"Hm...everything okay?"
She sighed, shaking her head slowly.
"I'm not sure," she admitted, "I had a long talk with Carly earlier today. She was pretty upset and I was thankfully able to help her, but...it made me realise that...maybe I'm not the best person to be giving her advice. I mean, I can hardly get my own damn life together, much less help someone else. I think Ducky made a mistake sending her to me."
Gibbs shook his head, sitting down next to her and reaching for her hand.
"That's where you're wrong, Jen," he told her gently, "You both need each other. It's not as simple as you helping her or vice versa. You've got to help each other at the same time. And just because you don't feel like you're making a difference that doesn't mean it's true."
"You don't mean that," Jenny said quietly, "You're just trying to make me feel better."
"You're right, I am, but I do mean it," he replied, kissing her hair, "You help me every single day."
Jenny frowned.
"I do?"
He nodded.
"Without a doubt."
He pulled the headphones from her hands, kissing her long and slow as he pushed her back onto the bed, and when he made to blow out the candle on the nightstand, Jenny shook her head, pulling him closer.
"Leave the candle."
Gibbs smiled, kissing her again.
"Yes, ma'am."
As his hands slipped into her hair, Jenny soon realised that, as long as he said it in that low tone, Gibbs could say anything he damn well pleased.
A/N: Until the next time, my lovelies!
