A/N: Here we are, my loyal readers. I hope you're prepared for this emotionally charged chapter! Enjoy!
Shepard
If anyone would have told Jenny that she would be actively contemplating murder late one Friday night, she would have accused them of lying. She supposed it made sense, it was a true testament to how much she loved Carly, but this fact did little to change the outcome. After all, how was she to know just how drastically her daughter's life was about to change?
She and Gibbs had just sat down to dinner when they heard the knock on the front door, making them both frown, and as Jenny stood to answer it, she gave him a strange look. It was no secret to Carly that the door was left unlocked and she could think of no one else who would be coming to their house at this hour. She pulled the door open, blinking in an attempt to make her eyes adjust to the sudden darkness, and when they finally did, she swore.
Held up by an arm slung around her friend's shoulder, blood dripping from her busted lip, her long hair sticking to her cheek, was Carly, her eyes hardly able to stay open.
"Jethro! Get out here now!"
He must have sensed the urgency in her voice because he was by her side in an instant, lifting Carly into his arms, and as he carried her into the living room, Jenny turned her attention to the young girl still standing on the front porch.
"Evan?"
She nodded and Jenny ushered her inside, closing the door tightly behind them, locking it securely. Evan followed them into the living room, her steps urgent, and as Jenny looked back at her, she frowned.
"What happened?"
"I don't know," Evan answered, shaking her head, "She just called me and said she needed a ride home. She was in the library bathroom when I got to her."
Jenny nodded, kneeling down in front of the couch, tilting Carly's head back to examine the cut above her eyebrow.
"Can you tell me what happened, Little One?"
At first, Jenny wasn't sure that Carly had even heard her and as she glanced at Gibbs worriedly, she kept her voice low.
"Jethro, can you grab the first aid kit?"
He nodded, making his way to the stairs, and as soon as they were alone, Jenny reached for Carly's shaking hand.
"Honey, what happened?"
"There...there was a man. He comes into the coffee shop every night to get a drink, always seemed really nice, tipped well. He had a knife...I—I was so scared, I—I tried to get away from him, but..."
Jenny pulled her into her arms, kissing her hair gently as she began to cry, and when Gibbs returned from the upstairs bathroom with the first aid kit, he placed his hand on the redhead's shoulder. She turned just enough that she could see him, looking into his eyes seriously.
"Jethro, we have to take her to a hospital."
"How bad is she hurt?"
"It's not as simple as that," Jenny said, trying to approach the situation delicately, "She needs to have tests done."
Her meaning suddenly clicked in his mind and he nodded, moving to pick her up from the couch. Carly protested at first, refusing to let go of Jenny, and as he lifted her into his arms, she shook her head.
"No! Leave me alone!"
"We have to take you to the hospital," Jenny told her gently, "We have to make sure you're okay."
"No! I'm fine! Just let me stay here."
"We can't, Little One. Don't worry, you'll be perfectly safe."
Finally, she nodded, releasing Jenny's hand slowly, and as Gibbs made his way to the front door, he glanced at Evan, still standing by herself.
"Thank you."
Evan nodded, looking at him seriously as he passed her.
"You're welcome."
She turned to Jenny, her eyes sad as she spoke again.
"Can I come with you?"
Jenny smiled sadly, touched by the depth of the younger girl's compassion.
"Of course, Evan."
From the moment they arrived in the hospital, Carly refused to let go of Jenny's hand, her body so close to her that she was nearly sitting in the older woman's lap, and as she laid her head on the redhead's shoulder, Jenny could feel her shaking. Evan and Gibbs were seated next to them, each trying to pretend that they were someplace else, and when the nurse finally called Carly's name, she jumped.
"Yes?"
"The doctor is ready for you now."
"Can my mom come with me?"
"Of course."
Carly glanced at Jenny, her eyes filling with tears.
"Will you stay with me?"
"Until they kick me out, honey."
They stood up and as they walked down the long hallway, Carly tightened her hold on Jenny's hand. She said nothing as the door to their hospital room closed behind the nurse and as Jenny helped her up onto the hard examination bed, she never looked away from her green eyes.
"Do we have to do this?"
Jenny nodded.
"I know it's uncomfortable, but we have to make sure there was no major damage and we might find some DNA evidence to take to the police."
Carly's eyes widened.
"The police? No, I don't...I just want to forget about it."
Jenny's eyes softened and she wrapped her arm around her, kissing her hair gently.
"I know, but if you go to the police, they might be able to catch this man. Speaking of which, I think it might be a good idea if you maybe started looking for another job. This man was obviously waiting for the opportunity to do this and I don't—wait. Carly, where did it happen?"
"In the back alley by the coffee shop dumpster.."
"Do they have cameras there?"
Carly frowned, trying to remember if she'd ever noticed a camera.
"Maybe. I think so. We can just give the tapes to the cops if they do, right?"
Jenny nodded.
"Yes, but you might still be called to testify. But let's not worry about that right now. Take this one thing at a time, okay?"
"Okay," Carly sighed, laying her head on Jenny's shoulder.
The knock on the door caused Carly to jump, swearing under her breath, and as the doctor entered, she gave them both a warm smile.
"Hello, Carly. My name is Doctor Leyva. What brings you here tonight?"
"I, um...I...was..."
"We need a rape kit," Jenny supplied helpfully, still holding Carly's hand.
The doctor nodded, stepping out of the room to gather the necessary supplies, and Carly moved closer to Jenny, her eyes closed tightly.
"I want to go home."
Jenny nodded.
"I know, Little One. This won't take long. Then we can go home and do whatever you want."
"Can Evan stay tonight?"
Knowing that Carly was desperately seeking comfort, Jenny nodded, running her hand through the younger girl's hair slowly.
"Sure."
As soon as the doctor returned with the supplies she'd left to retrieve, Jenny was asked to leave the room, and she nodded, leaning over to kiss Carly's hair softly. This was certainly not how she'd imagined her night going...
Gibbs
By the time they had all returned home, it was well after midnight, and as Carly and Evan made their way up to her room, Gibbs retreated to the basement, desperately needing to sort out the thoughts in his head. He didn't think he'd been this angry in years and he wasn't sure how he was going to deal with it. The very thought of someone hurting his daughter made his blood boil, made him want to use his military training in ways that he didn't even feel comfortable thinking about, and he frowned as he poured himself a generous measure of bourbon into a mason jar.
How could someone cause that kind of pain? How could they hurt an innocent young girl like that? He shook his head as he took a long drink, still trying to make sense of it all. The sound of footsteps on the stairs made him turn and as Jenny came into view, he nodded at her.
"Jen."
"Jethro. What are you doing down here? It's late."
He shrugged.
"Needed to think. How is she?"
Jenny sighed, reaching for his mason jar and taking a drink of the amber liquid.
"Scared. The rape kit wasn't much help and she's so terrified that she doesn't want to go to the police."
Gibbs nodded.
"Understandable."
"She was crying in Evan's lap when I looked through the door."
Jenny paused, handing him the glass back, looking at him seriously.
"How are you handling this?"
"Pissed off," he muttered, taking another drink, "You?"
"Same."
They stood in silence for a long moment, each trying to process the events of the night, and when Jenny suddenly spoke, she was unable to mask the pain in her voice.
"How could someone do something so horrible?"
Gibbs said nothing, knowing she was merely thinking out loud, and when she glanced at him, he noticed the tears shining in her bright green eyes.
"Murdering him wouldn't solve anything."
He frowned.
"What?"
"Jethro, I know you. I can see that you're thinking about it. But all that would do is take you away from us when you were thrown in prison."
He nodded, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as she reached for the mason jar in his hand.
"I know. But the thought of some bastard walking around free like that..."
Jenny sighed knowingly, taking a long drink from the glass.
"Believe me, I understand. I want to murder him, too. But right now, Carly is the most important thing. She's going to need us more than ever now."
He sighed, taking the glass back and emptying it with one swallow.
"We'll be there."
Jenny nodded, her eyes sad.
"Definitely."
As he slept, Gibbs found that his mind was intent on making his night as restless as possible, plaguing him with nightmares of Carly's assault, Shannon and Kelly's murders, and as he tossed in the bed, he unconsciously pulled Jenny closer in his arms. He had no way of knowing that she was still awake, watching him worriedly as he dreamt, and when his eyes finally opened in the early hours of the morning, he frowned.
"Are you okay?" Jenny asked, her voice low in the darkness.
"Fine," he lied, "Just can't sleep."
She nodded.
"I know the feeling. You've been having nightmares all night."
He frowned.
"How did you know?"
She sighed, raising up to look at him slowly.
"You've been tossing and turning ever since you fell asleep."
"Have you slept at all?"
Jenny shook her head, laying on his chest, closing her eyes tiredly.
"I can't. I keep thinking about her. What she's going through. How much it's going to affect her."
He nodded, looking at her seriously.
"You sound like you're speaking from experience."
Jenny sighed again, looking away from him, nodding once.
"I might know a thing or two about it."
"How old were you?"
"Twenty-one. I'd gone out with some friends to a bar and on the way home, a man followed me to my car. He grabbed me by the throat, threw me up against the car...well, anyway, my point is that I know how much this is going to hurt her."
Gibbs nodded again, kissing her hair gently.
"And we're going to be there every step of the way."
Jenny smiled, moving her body as close to him as she could, and as he ran his fingers through her long red hair, he kissed her forehead softly.
"Get some sleep, Jen. It's going to be a rough day."
"I don't think you've ever said anything more true in your life."
He smiled.
"I love you."
"Okay, maybe I was wrong."
He laughed, kissing her again.
"Sleep, Jen."
Carly stayed in her room for most of the morning, venturing out after noon, closely followed by Evan, and as she made her way down the stairs, Gibbs found that he automatically tensed. He wasn't sure how to approach the situation, though he knew it had to be handled carefully, and as the two girls made their way into the kitchen, he exchanged a glance with Jenny.
She nodded at him encouragingly, and as they both walked into the kitchen, he looked at Evan slowly.
"Do you want anything to eat, Evan?"
She shook her head.
"No, thank you."
"Coffee?"
"I'm okay, thank you."
Carly looked at Jenny as she poured a cup of coffee, her voice small as she spoke.
"Mom, do we have any hot chocolate?"
Jenny nodded.
"I think so. Do you want me to make it for you?"
Carly shook her head, reaching into the refrigerator for the milk, and as she began measuring out what she needed, Evan spoke up from her place at the table.
"Thank you for letting me stay last night."
Jenny smiled, pouring herself a cup of coffee.
"Of course, Evan. You're always welcome."
From his place by the door, Gibbs was alarmed to discover that he could see the shaking in Jenny's hands as she held her cup, and he frowned as he watched her take a drink of the rich liquid. He'd known that she hadn't slept that night, but he had underestimated just how exhausted she truly was, and when she drained her coffee within less than a minute, he shook his head. Was she trying to cause a heart attack?
Carly kept her eyes down as she poured her hot milk into her glass, stirring in the hot chocolate mix carefully, and it wasn't until Gibbs made his way over to the coffee pot that she showed any sign of speaking at all. She opened her mouth once, closed it again, then opened it once more, looking at them both warily.
"Thanks for...for helping last night."
Gibbs nodded, pouring his coffee slowly, his eyes meeting hers carefully.
"Anytime, kid."
Jenny kissed Carly's hair gently, giving her a warm smile as she made her way closer to the door.
"We love you, Little One."
Shepard
Hours later, long after Evan had gone home and Gibbs had retreated to the sanctity of his beloved basement, Jenny found herself sitting on the floor of the shower, trying (and failing) to keep her body from shaking as she cried into her hands. She hadn't thought about her own assault in years, having pushed it to the back of her mind and buried it deep in the shadows, and she would have been lying if she'd said that helping Carly hadn't caused all of that pain to resurface.
She laid her head on her knees, allowing the water from her shower to soak into her hair, effectively hiding her tears, and when she heard a quiet knock on the door, she jumped, hoping her voice didn't sound as weak as she felt.
"Come in."
"Hey, Mom...can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure, Little One."
"Do we really have to go to the police? I don't feel comfortable talking about what happened, and I just...I really don't think—"
"Listen, Little One," Jenny interrupted gently, "I'll let you make the decision. I'm not going to judge you, no matter what you do, and I'm going to love you regardless. So, it's up to you."
Carly walked closer, her footsteps soft on the tile floor, and when she sat down on the floor next to the bathtub, her close proximity made Jenny jump.
"Mom, are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Jenny lied, painting a smile on her face even though Carly couldn't see her, "What do you say we watch Alice in Wonderland after I finish my shower?"
Carly laughed.
"Sure. Can we have popcorn, too?"
"If you want to, that's fine with me."
"Thanks. Enjoy your shower."
Jenny laughed, assuring her that she would, and as soon as the door had closed behind the younger girl, she closed her eyes again, letting her tears fall. Tears that were for Carly, herself, Gibbs, even Shannon and Kelly, and when she finally turned off the water fifteen minutes later, she found that she was even more exhausted than she'd been previously.
Carly fell asleep about half an hour into their movie, and as Gibbs came up from the basement, he gave Jenny a slightly amused look as she held her in her arms, running her fingers through the long reddish-gold hair. He sat down in the chair next to the couch watching Carly sleep and when he spoke, he kept his voice carefully low.
"She okay?"
"She's exhausted," Jenny said, her voice soft.
Gibbs nodded, looking at her seriously.
"She's not the only one. Jen, you haven't slept since Evan brought her home."
Jenny shrugged, still running her hand through Carly's hair.
"She needs me. I can sleep later."
He smiled, shaking his head slightly sadly, and when he stood up to get a drink, he leaned down to kiss the top of Jenny's head.
"Marry me, Jen."
Jenny laughed, shaking her head.
"No, Jethro."
Gibbs laughed too, kissing her again, his voice warm as he spoke.
"You'll change your mind someday."
"Someone sounds incredibly sure of himself."
"Well, yeah," he replied as though it were obvious, "I'm irresistible."
Jenny rolled her eyes, laughing quietly.
"Go get your bourbon."
He nodded.
"You want me to move her to her room?"
Jenny shook her head.
"No, let her stay. I don't get the chance to be with her like this very often."
"Okay. Yell if you need anything."
Jenny nodded, pulling Carly closer to her, and as Gibbs made his way back down into the basement, he laughed quietly. Jenny shushed him, hoping he hadn't woken Carly, and when she realised the younger girl was still sleeping, she breathed a sigh of relief. Closing her eyes slowly, Jenny allowed her head to fall back onto the back of the couch, taking a slow, deep breath. Maybe she could rest her eyes. Just for a minute...
When Gibbs returned hours later from working on his boat, Jenny was startled awake by the sound of his footsteps on the stairs, and as he made his way closer, he gave her a warm smile. She returned it easily, nodding when he asked her if she wanted him to carry Carly to her room, and as he lifted her into his arms, Jenny stretched slowly.
Her body protested the movement, but she stood anyway, running her hand through slightly tangled hair, and she carefully made her way to the stairs. Black spots danced in front of her eyes as her feet touched the steps, forcing her to grip the railing tightly, and she swore softly. She blinked hard, taking a shaking breath, and when she finally felt that it was safe enough for her to begin moving again, she did so, her hold on the railing incredibly tight.
She knew it was a result of hunger, knew that Gibbs would kill her if he found out she'd been skipping meals to avoid purging, but she felt as though she had no other option. If her choices were eat and purge or don't eat and not purge, she knew which of the two she would pick...because she knew there was no way she could eat and keep herself from purging. She simply didn't have the strength.
As soon as she made it to the top of the stairs, Jenny made her way into the bathroom, splashing a bit of cold water on her face. It had the desired effect, clearing the dizziness from her mind, and as she walked into the bedroom, she was surprised to find Gibbs sitting on the edge of the bed, an expectant look on his face.
"You okay?"
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak, and as soon as he spoke again, she knew he hadn't believed her in the slightest.
"You look pale."
She laughed, shaking her head.
"Jethro, I always look pale."
He shook his head, looking at her seriously.
"This is different. You sure you're feeling okay?"
Jenny nodded, walking over to her side of the bed, and as she sat down, she gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. He pulled her into his arms as soon as she had laid down, kissing her hair softly, and when she yawned, he laughed quietly.
"You've been burning the candle at both ends for two days, Jen. You should get some sleep."
She sighed, laying her head on his chest.
"I just can't stop thinking about it. How scared she must have been, how—"
"Shh...not now. Get some rest, and we can talk about maybe going to see someone in the morning. Do you think that might help?"
She considered his suggestion carefully, turning it around in her mind, and when she finally nodded, he smiled.
"Might be a little difficult getting her there," Jenny remarked casually.
Gibbs nodded.
"Yeah, but I think it would be best."
"So do I," she agreed, "But we're going to need a miracle to make it happen."
Gibbs' quiet laughter was the last thing she heard before she fell fast asleep...
As expected, it had taken a fair amount of chiding and convincing to get Carly to agree to see a therapist and as they sat in the cold office room, she crossed her arms over her chest, staring at her shoes. Gibbs and Jenny sat next to her, each watching her with concern as she all but ignored the woman behind the desk, and when she spoke, her voice was carefully light.
"So, Carly, what brings you and your parents in today?"
Carly shrugged but said nothing, keeping her eyes locked on the floor.
"Your mom tells me that you're studying to be a therapist yourself. How is your schooling progressing?"
"Fine," Carly said tightly.
"I remember feeling pretty overwhelmed when it came time to take my exams. Are you feeling nervous about that?"
"No. I've always been a good tester."
"That's great! I understand that you've started college fairly early and that's a great way to get your foot in the door. But it requires a lot of studying and—"
"Look, Ms. Abbott, with all due respect, I'm not here to talk about college," Carly said, making Jenny smile slightly.
"Call me Nikki. And yes, that's right. Would you like to tell me why you are here?"
"Not really. I would rather just leave."
"Carly," Nikki's voice was gentle, undeniably kind, "I know you've been through a traumatic event recently and I know that it's incredibly difficult to talk about this kind of thing, but you don't have to feel ashamed about it. You did nothing wrong."
"I don't," Carly said, "That's not...ashamed isn't the right word. I feel...used. Disgusting. Tainted, somehow."
"That's understandable, but what you need to realise is that you have no reason to feel that way. I know that doesn't make the emotions go away, but this assault doesn't define you. It didn't change who you are deep down inside. You're still the same person you've always been where it matters. Yes, you might have decided to be a bit more cautious, to trust people less easily, but you're still the same girl who loves to watch Disney movies with your mom and who wants to help other people."
"How do I make the feeling go away?" Carly asked, looking at her almost desperately.
"You can't really make it go away, but you can change how you react to it. For example, every time you think about the assault, you can counteract it with a positive thought. Yes, a terrible thing happened to you, but there are so many good things that have happened as well."
Jenny could see that Carly was beginning to warm up to the woman behind the desk and as she reached for Gibbs' hand, she gave him an encouraging smile. Maybe, just maybe, this would work out after all...
Gibbs
Gibbs frowned as he watched Jenny take a long drink from the glass of iced tea sitting in front of her, not even bothering to touch the food on her plate. He knew he hadn't been imagining the increased paleness of her skin the night before and as he watched her merely push the food around on her plate, he suddenly understood why. He waited to see if she would notice him watching her and as she continued to talk with Carly, he knew that she had no intention of eating at all.
"Didn't cook this just so you could play with it," he muttered, hoping to get her attention.
"What?"
"Your food," he replied, nodding at her full plate, "You've been pushing it around all night."
"I guess I'm just not hungry."
He rolled his eyes, looking at her as though he'd never seen her before.
"Uh-huh. And just how many days have you "not been hungry" now? Two? Three?"
She shook her head, ignoring the way Carly was looking at her.
"Jethro, you're making a big deal out of nothing."
"Then eat it. Just one thing. And keep it down."
"I told you that I'm not—"
"I don't care," he snapped, glaring at her, "I'm not going to let you fall back into old habits and get yourself killed."
"Mom, maybe you should just eat," Carly added, looking at Jenny worriedly.
Sighing in frustration, Jenny picked up her fork, filling it with mashed potatoes, glaring at them both as she placed it into her mouth. She repeated the action until they were gone, swallowing thickly, and shook her head, eyes cold.
"There. Is that what you wanted?"
Gibbs shook his head.
"No. I wanted you to do it on your own."
"And what about Carly? She hasn't touched anything on her plate all night! Is it just me you're ganging up on now?"
Carly glared at her, grabbing the bowl of macaroni and cheese from its place in front of her, shoveling the pasta into her mouth, not even caring how insane she knew she must look.
"Fine, Mom! Look, Carly's eating! Carly's eating! Are you fucking happy now?!"
Gibbs glared at them both, shaking his head as he pushed his chair back, picking up his bourbon quickly.
"Do what you want. Both of you. I can't make you stay alive. It's your call."
He left the room without another word and when they heard the slamming of the basement door moments later, both women jumped. This was certainly shaping up to be an interesting night...
As he sanded the wood of his beloved boat, Gibbs found that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop his thoughts from returning to Carly and Jenny. He simply couldn't understand why they had to make things so difficult. How hard was it to eat? It was a basic human necessity, why would they deliberately deny themselves that right? Just for the sake of being thin or having control? It just didn't make sense.
Did they both want to die? Were their lives so terrible that they couldn't stand the thought of living any longer? More importantly, was there anything he could do to change their way of thinking? Was it his fault that they were so unhappy? He took a long drink from his bourbon, more than a little disappointed to find that he had more questions than answers.
He placed the empty mason jar back on the work table, picking up his sander again, and when he heard the sound of the basement door opening, he automatically tensed, bracing himself for another fight. He was surprised to find that it hadn't been Jenny who had ventured down into the basement, Carly's Converse sneakers coming into view as she walked down the steps, and when she stopped at the bottom, she gave him a sad look.
"Can I talk to you?"
He nodded, still sanding, and when she walked closer, he could have sworn there were tears in her bright blue eyes.
"I know you don't understand all the details of what it's like to have an eating disorder, but I wanted you to know that I'm trying. I might not always do or say the right thing, but I'm doing the best I can. I'm sorry I let you down, Dad."
Gibbs set the sander down on top of the boat, gesturing for Carly to come closer, and as soon as she was near enough, he wrapped his arm around her, kissing her cheek.
"You've never let me down, kid. I'm not mad, just confused. You're right: I don't understand how this all works, but we're all going to have to work together. Can you do that?"
Carly nodded, laying her head on his shoulder, and when she hugged him, her grip was tight.
"I love you."
"Love you too, Carly."
She glanced up at him, a slightly amused expression on her face, and when she spoke again, there was no hiding the laughter in her voice.
"Guess we've got something to talk about in our next therapy session, huh?"
When he finally made his way up to the bedroom late that night, Jenny was already asleep, her body curled as tightly as possible on her side of the bed, and Gibbs frowned as he pulled his shirt over his head. He supposed it made sense that she was still upset, but he hadn't expected such a cold reception. He slid between the sheets silently, deliberately not touching her, and as he laid on his side, he slowly reached out to brush her hair back from her face.
"I love you, Jen."
She didn't move, gave no indication that she'd heard him, and as he closed his eyes, he frowned. How had this night ended so badly? And more importantly, how did he fix it? He didn't have the slightest idea...
Shepard
"Do you think I overreacted?"
The Scottish doctor looked at her seriously as he sat in the chair across from her desk, trying to gauge the situation.
"Would you like my honest answer or a pretty lie?"
Jenny sighed, shaking her head.
"The truth, Ducky."
"Since you asked, yes. I think you reacted emotionally and that you didn't even stop to consider the fact that Jethro's words came from a place of concern. He loves you and wants you to be safe and happy. If you're indulging your eating disorder, you are neither of those things. I think you owe him a serious apology."
Jenny laughed somewhat bitterly.
"He wouldn't accept it. He thinks apologising is a sign of weakness."
"Be that as it may, he deserves one. I do believe he made a very valid point when he said he can't make you live. That decision is yours and yours alone. And the fact that you tried to turn the attention to Carly means that you know that as well. You know that what you're doing is wrong and dangerous, but you don't want anyone to call you out on it. Forgive me for being so blunt, but when did you become so selfish?"
Jenny frowned, unused to this level of anger from the doctor, and shook her head.
"What do you mean?"
"You're deliberately not eating or if you are, you're purging, giving no thought to the people you're hurting when you do. I know you, Jennifer. I know you're not usually so selfish. You've always cared about others and I'm just wondering when that changed."
"I do care about them, Ducky. All of you for that matter."
"Then I suggest that you start acting like it."
He said nothing more, standing quickly and making his way to the door, leaving her to sit behind her desk, lost in thought. She knew that he was right, knew that she'd reacted badly, but she also knew how Gibbs felt about apologies. Still...Ducky was right. He deserved it. She pulled out her phone, dialing quickly, and as it rang, she found that no matter what she did, she couldn't stop the pounding of her heart in her chest.
"Yeah. Gibbs."
"Jethro, I'm sorry,"
"Jen?"
"Yeah. The other night...I know you were just acting out of concern and I was a bitch and threw it back in your face. I shouldn't have done that and even though I know how you feel about apologising, you deserve one. So I'm sorry."
"You gonna admit that you've got a problem now?"
She sighed, running her hand through her hair slowly.
"Yes. I know I do. I just...I don't know how to fix it. I don't know if I can do this on my own."
"You don't have to. I'll help you, Carly will help, you can keep going to that therapist...you don't always have to do things alone."
She smiled, thankful that he was still willing to help her after the way she'd treated him.
"Thank you, Jethro. For everything."
"You're welcome."
"Well, I know you're at work, so I'll let you go. See you tonight for dinner?"
"You know it. And hey, Jen?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
Jenny smiled again, leaning back in her chair.
"I love you, too."
As it turned out, they were joined by Carly and Evan for dinner that night and as they all sat down at the table, Jenny could feel Gibbs watching her as she placed the food onto her plate. She took small, hesitant bites, chewing each one fourteen times before swallowing, but she was so focused on her task that she couldn't have cared less about being watched. She was determined to make this work, to beat this illness once and for all, and as she reached for her glass of tea, she smiled.
"So, Evan, what are you planning to do after high school?"
Evan smiled, taking a bite of her steak.
"I'm going to keep working at my job to make money and then I'm going to be a singer."
Jenny nodded, looking at her warmly.
"You sing?"
Carly nodded.
"Evan's got a great voice. She's always the lead in every school musical. She writes her own music, too."
"That's amazing. Are you going to get your own place or stay at home?"
"I'm planning on getting my own, but Carly and I have talked about moving in together to help cover expenses. It's really up to her, though."
"Sounds like you've got everything figured out."
Evan laughed, shaking her head.
"Not at all. Just the basics. Everything else is still up in the air."
Jenny laughed, but her heart wasn't really in it, and when she saw Gibbs look at her out of the corner of her eye, she knew it must have been obvious. She excused herself from the table, noticing at once how Gibbs followed her seconds later, and as they walked down into the basement, she could feel his eyes watching her every move.
"What's wrong?"
"I just...I knew she would have to leave home eventually, but I didn't think it would be so soon."
Gibbs frowned, looking at her seriously.
"She hasn't left yet," he reminded her, "And Evan said they hadn't made a definite decision."
"I know," she sighed, "but I feel like I'm going to lose her. I've only just found her, I can't lose her yet, Jethro."
"Jen, even if she leaves, she's still ours. You know she'll come home to visit and spend holidays with us."
Jenny couldn't stop the tears that dripped onto her skin as she blinked, and when Gibbs pulled her into his arms, he kissed her cheek softly.
"She loves us, Jen. No matter where she goes, we'll always be her parents. You know that."
"I know, but...I'm going to miss her so much, Jethro."
He nodded.
"Me, too."
They stayed that way for a long moment, Jenny's head resting on Gibbs' chest, and when she finally pulled away, she wiped her hand under her eyes, raising them to his slowly.
"I guess we'd better get back before they send the police looking for us."
Gibbs laughed, kissing her quickly.
"Probably."
"Does being a parent ever get any easier?"
He laughed harder, shaking his head as he led her back up the stairs.
"Not even a little bit, Jen. Not even a little bit."
A/N: Let me know what you liked!
