Fucking hell, she really was crying because of him, wasn't she? It was… He couldn't… It was so bad, he couldn't even name what he was feeling. He never wanted to be able to get blackout drunk so much.
He really did fuck everything up. And if it wasn't awful enough already, he couldn't even be alone and torment himself with regret in peace, no, there was still an uninvited guest waiting in his apartment. And if it wasn't for Colin, nothing would've… No, that wasn't true. It would be so easy to blame a pig for everything, but it really was just his fault. She wasn't even that mad about Colin, she had more of a problem with Cindy. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything about them, but… he just wanted to be fair. He didn't want to lie to her. And if it was such a dealbreaker, it would only be way worse if she found out later.
Fuck. What was he thinking earlier? That he couldn't possibly be more heartbroken? Bullshit. He could. This was way worse than before. He never knew despair until now. He was a murderer and a monster, but there was nothing he regretted more than making her doubt in his devotion to her, whomever it made him.
He decided to aimlessly walk the streets and chain-smoke instead of getting back to his apartment. He didn't want to talk to Colin, or anyone really, right now. Well, he wanted to talk to Snow. Tell her again how sorry he was, beg for forgiveness, comfort her if he could… but she didn't want him to. She hated him. Fuck, he really did make her cry. Fuck.
Still though… The weird thing was that no matter how much he regretted making her so upset, he didn't truly feel like he did anything wrong by not lying to Cindy and… not doing whatever he was supposed to do to hide his sex life from Colin. And even if he were to lie to Cindy, she wouldn't believe him, she already worked it out, he had no idea what he could even say to her to deceive her. Stay with her instead of getting back to the Woodlands to Snow… love of his life. He didn't want to.
At the same time he understood why she was so angry. It was really important to her to keep it a secret, so now she felt disrespected. She was in her right to be furious with him. He just wished she wasn't.
He felt so stupid now. Right before he showed up at her doorstep he was thinking about what Colin said to him, that she would be mad at him for not telling her how he felt. He thought that maybe if she would say something first… then it would be… Like she would ever. So stupid. Embarrassing. She could find a replacement for him in a minute. He had his chance and he blew it.
And she was really crying. Because of him. He heard it from the corridor, she didn't want him to know, but she couldn't hold it in any longer. And it was going so well just moments before he told her about Cindy and Colin, the way they were talking, the closeness and ease… It was going incredibly well. And now it was all gone and he will have to pretend there was never anything between them. See her almost every day and act like it's fine.
Maybe he should leave the city. No, he didn't want to. As much as he knew it was going to torture him, he still didn't want to stop seeing her. He was that pathetic. And he was going out of cigarettes, great.
Would he be able to hide what happened from Colin to avoid comments and advice? No, even if he could pull this off, that would only make him give comments and advice according to information that was no longer up to date, and he couldn't take it, that would actually be worse by far.

"She dumped me" he said straightforwardly the moment he closed the door to his apartment behind himself.
"What did you do?" Colin slowly raised his plastered, sleepy head from the armrest.
"It doesn't matter. You didn't drink all of my alcohol while I was gone, am I right?"
"I left you a bottle or two." Colin turned to lie on his back. "So, how did you screw it up?"
"Of course you assume it was all my own fault." Bigby grumbled looking for more vodka in the freezer.
"Wasn't it?"
"It was, but you could be a little bit more supportive, you know?" He didn't even get a glass, cold vodka straight from the bottle, that was exactly what he was in the mood for. Where were his cigarettes? In the drawer next to the door, yes.
Colin got off the armchair to sit at the table. He wanted more booze.
"I don't even know what happened yet, I can't take sides." That was an attempt at a joke, probably. Bigby couldn't tell, as nothing was funny to him at the moment.
"I'm not gonna tell you what happened" was his answer.
"Why? You'll feel better." Colin tried being encouraging, and Bigby could appreciate it, but not this time. He couldn't talk about it. He didn't want to go through it again.
"No, I won't. I really won't, Colin. I just need to get as drunk as possible, so I can not think about it for an hour or even ten minutes." Bigby took a seat at the table and poured some alcohol into Colin's glass. "Will you let me do that?"
"We can play some poker."

He got maybe three hours of sleep. After waking up at six a.m. and turning over in bed for another hour, he got up, clothed himself, left the bedroom, passed Colin sleeping on the armchair and went to the office. It shouldn't even grab anyone's attention, as he often worked on Saturdays.
The plan was to immerse himself in paperwork and drown out intrusive thoughts, but as soon as he started looking through his list of things to do, he found a note made the previous day: "Tell Snow about Rose."
He could get it over with by now, but no, he forgot about it in the midst of the moment and had to deal with it when she was mad at him. Perfect. The strangest part was that as much as he knew how much of a bad idea it was to go to her office and see her now, he wanted to do it. To check if she was still so upset or make sure she hated him as much as he thought… Honestly, he didn't really know why. He only knew that he wanted to see her.

Of course she was in her office. He wasn't the only one working on Saturdays.
Before he came in, he took a puff. And then another one. It was a bad idea, but he marched in anyway. She was alone aside from Bufkin. Saturday was actually the best day for him to get anything done in the business office, because she didn't have to deal with a never-ending line of fables in need and he could just talk to her.
She was surprised to see him. Was she angry? A bit. But also sad, and it was even worse. A lot worse. Hair down, immaculate white shirt and… was it really silver jewelry? Yes, it was. She hasn't worn silver since that day when he asked her to take off her necklace and earrings. Was this on purpose? To communicate to him that he was no longer allowed to get close to her? But her hair, she still was wearing it down, the way he found so, so astonishingly beautiful. Was that on purpose as well? Or was he giving it too much meaning?
"Good morning," she said calmly.
"Mornin'. I checked the business scamming mrs. Web, and it turns out the person behind it is most probably your sister." He pulled out a matter-of-factly voice quite well, if he could say so himself.
Snow put her pen down and looked up at him.
"And what makes you think that?" The official tone. He knew it so well. She was not as calm as she made it look and sound.
"I talked to mrs. Web yesterday. It was Rose who got her into it. I don't know yet if she is the main offender or if she is lower on the ladder. Maybe she's working with someone… Then I would suspect her boyfriend."
"Her boyfriend?" She was taken-aback, but clearly interested.
"She's seeing Jack, you didn't know?"
"How would I? And how did you find out?"
"I always know. I just don't spread rumors." Bigby regretted the choice of words the second they left his mouth. He didn't think it through. He looked away as if to correct himself or add something, but he bit his tongue and moved on. "I'm planning on visiting her today."
"Then I have to go with you." Why? He had to take a puff.
"What for exactly?"
She looked at him like he was stupid. He probably was.
"She's my sister, I have to know."
"Then I can tell you how it went later. You'll be the first to know, I promise."
"No, I will go with you." That was a statement, not even a command.
He took another puff and looked at the ceiling, trying not to show too much contempt.
"No matter what I say, you'll do whatever you want, so why do I even waste my time."

They shared a cab. As soon as he found himself in such close proximity to her and was drowning in her beautiful smell again, the memories started to come back stronger than before. The good ones. Snow saying she enjoyed having him just for herself, her on top of him, her asking to keep her warm at night… From the very beginning he knew this was the risk. Having something to miss. But he still did not regret getting into this whole… affair, he could not force himself to regret being with her. Even if it meant heartbreak and awkward silence on the backseat, it was worth it.
"Can I smoke here?" Bigby asked the driver.
"No."
"I'll pay double."
"Just open the window."

Rose lived in the mundy neighborhood, not the best one. One of the worst, actually.
"I can't remember the last time I was in this part of the city. I tend to avoid districts like this one" Snow spoke to him for the first time since they got into the cab. She seemed to be devoid of emotions, focused.
"You'll be fine. There's nothing worse than me in this city" he answered without giving her a second look and put out the cigarette with shoe sole.
"Will she even be home?" she inquired.
"Yes."
On the second floor of an old tenement house it was unmistakably Rose Red. Jack wasn't with her, but he visited a day before. Right now she was alone in her apartment.
Rose had no intercom, they could freely get into the staircase. It made things a lot easier, as it was hard to judge with whom Rose wouldn't want to talk more, the sheriff on an official investigation or her estranged sister.
He knocked and it only took her a moment to show up and open the door. The second she saw him, she tried to shut it, but it was too late, he barged in with ease and Snow slowly followed his steps.
Defeated, Rose crossed her arms over a t-shirt with a band logo he didn't recognize. Her apartment looked modern and stylish. More stylish than he expected, to be honest. But a bit messy.
"You don't have a permit. And why the fuck is she here?" She shook her head in surprise, scattering short hair as brightly red as purely black her sister's was.
"Can you tell me about your latest business endeavor?" Bigby completely ignored her question.
"What endeavor?" Oh, she was getting nervous. Very telling.
"Does the name 'Magic Touch' ring a bell?"
"It's completely legal." She was vexed, yes. But, unexpectedly, she wasn't lying. Or she didn't have all of the information.
"No, I'm pretty sure it's a scam. How many fables who made an investment made anything back?" he started questioning.
"I don't know the details, you'd have to talk with Jack." She rolled her eyes. "I can show you the agreements they sign."
It was easy to guess Jack had to be involved. Bigby lost count on his shady and outright illegal ventures over the years. If there was something fishy going on in Fabletown, there were good chances he had something to do with it.
"Please, get them."
She went to another room. He could see that in the same cabinet in which she kept the papers, she also had some of the creams and shampoos he saw on display at Web'n'Muffet market.
"Get me some of these products as well," he added. She didn't object and gathered one of each type of cosmetics.
"Here."
He only glimpsed at five pages of fine print she handed him before stacking it in the inside pocket of his coat. The cosmetics did not smell like magic, but he could not always tell. He had to get them checked. Right now he hid them in his pockets as well.
"Again, Snow, why the fuck are you here? Do you want to get into the beauty business?" Rose smiled ironically. "Is the office job not working out for you?"
"I had to know what you're up to." The office tone. She had some anger and disappointment to hide.
"I finally started to make money the proper way, I thought you'd be proud." She certainly didn't start making money in a way that could be described as 'proper' by any standards. And she knew it very well, because she was intentionally lying.
"Is the product magical?" Bigby asked, getting back to the investigation.
"No." This on the other hand wasn't a lie.
"The clients seem to believe it is."
Rose only shrugged her arms. "Investors, not clients" she corrected. An attempt to derail the conversation.
"You know that if you lie to the investors about the product, that is illegal itself, right?" She didn't answer at all. "How many investors do you have?"
"Talk to Jack" she stated.
"Rose… why do you associate yourself with him?" Snow asked. This time she was sincere. She was worried.
"You're one to talk. I don't interfere with your questionable choices." Rose was both dismissive and provocative.
In a blink of an eye Snow got really nervous, but she pretended to just be surprised.
"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked as calmly as she was able to.
Rose gestured at both of them.
"Please, everybody in Fabletown knows you're fucking." Literally the worst possible time to bring out this rumor. "I get the wolf thing, I don't get sleeping with a policeman, even you could do better." The insult left Snow speechless.
"Her? I wish" said Bigby, looking at Snow's silver necklace. "I can assure you we're not sleeping together." Sadly, he didn't even have to lie. The subject was very risky though, he had to change the topic. "By the way, how did you get mrs. Web to buy into it?"
"The offer is great, I've no idea what you mean" answered Rose.
"No, I mean how did you" he stressed out the pronoun "get her to buy into it."
"Oh, she said I'm a very nice girl, unlike my bitchy sister." Every word brought her pleasure.
Bigby only sighed tiredly. "I'm pretty sure that's not the word she used."
"She might as well," said Rose.
"I don't have any more questions about this. For now. Snow, do you want to add anything?"
"Yes, but you can go."
"I'll wait for you." She didn't protest, thankfully. He really wasn't in the mood for arguing about it, especially in front of Rose.
"Rose, why are you so rude?" Snow asked, irritated, but superficially kind.
"So you can take the high road" she threw out dismissively. "Can you just go already?"
"Why can't you ever just talk to me?" Now the irritation started to show.
"Because you can't just talk, all you can do is show up and act like you're my mother. You're not, get a life."
"Are you still mad at me for kicking you out after I caught you in bed with my husband? That's on you, not on me." This thing again? She told him once she wasn't angry about it at Rose anymore, but she clearly was still thinking of it.
Rose rolled not only her eyes, but her whole head. She was done.
"Snow, move on, I beg you. Everyone else did. Work out your loyalty issues on others and leave me alone, I don't care. Just go now, unlike you I have plans for the weekend."
He would never tell Snow, but he was a bit more on Rose's side with this. Except for the working out of loyalty issues on others' part, that he could do without.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," Snow said back on the pavement.
"It's okay. And I didn't really have to." For how long didn't he smoke? Too long. He took out a cigarette and lit it immediately.
"Why did you stay?" Was he meant to leave her in the part of town she said she was afraid to visit alone? Over his dead body.
"You've said you don't go to districts like this."
"And you care so much?" Why the fuck was she surprised? "It's not a big deal, I wouldn't have to walk the streets, only catch a taxi."
He took a puff.
"I obviously do."