A/N: Happy Saturday, my lovely readers, assuming you're still here. I hope you're all doing well! Here we have the latest chapter of "The Other Side of the Wall", in which DiNozzo acknowledges his grief, Gibbs worries over Jenny's health, and Carly asks a very odd question! Hope you like it!
Gibbs
In his humble opinion, Leroy Jethro Gibbs was doing a pretty damn good job of hiding his concern as he sat behind his desk in the mid-morning hours of a Tuesday. Now, this wasn't to suggest that he didn't have a convenient excuse lined up should anyone ask, but he didn't think anyone would. His team was currently too busy searching for leads on their case that was rapidly getting closer to being forced closed, and he had no reason to visit Ducky, who was the only one in the building besides Jenny that could always see right through his bullshit.
In fact, it was Jenny that was the cause of his concern, though he doubted if she was even aware of it. He hadn't mentioned this fact to her, but he'd seen her struggling to get out of bed that morning, to say nothing of the ghost-like paleness of her skin, and her hands never seemed to stop shaking. He knew that she would bury his concerns behind a smile if he approached her with them, so he had opted to stay silent, but he was beyond thankful that she was busy with meetings all day and would have no reason to leave the safety of her office.
It was entirely possible that he was making it out to be worse than it was, but he'd decided that he would rather be safe than sorry when it came to the subject of Jenny's health. After all, she'd finally agreed to marry him, he couldn't lose her now. Not to mention the fact he didn't think he would ever make it through if something happened to her and he wasn't particularly in the mood to test that theory. His excuse of being concerned about the break in at Carly's was always on the tip of his tongue, ready to be given with as much seriousness as possible, but so far, he had been lucky.
Still...he couldn't stop the way his mind refused to focus on anything else, and he sighed, wondering why he had even tried in the first place...
Shepard
Blinking hard as she finished reading her emails, Jenny tried to ignore the pain that shot through her entire body. It had begun late the night before, dull at first, more an annoyance than anything, but it had soon progressed so much that she could hardly stand to take a breath without wincing. Her vision was more blurred than usual, and while she had originally thought that it was a result of her busy work schedule, she was now starting to believe that this was yet another symptom of her MS that had reared its ugly head.
Making a mental note to ask Ducky about it, she shook her head slowly, trying to clear some of the fogginess that had settled over her in the past few hours. She was so exhausted that she could hardly think straight, and while she knew the reasons behind it, that knowledge didn't make it any less irritating. She closed her eyes, taking in a slow breath, willing it the pain to pass, though she knew it was useless, and swore softly to herself.
A quiet knock on her office door caused her to open her eyes, thankful for the distraction, and she tried to make her tone as welcoming as possible.
"Come in."
She painted a smile on her face when Tony DiNozzo entered the room, closing the door behind him, and he returned the smile warmly.
"Morning, Red. How goes it up here in the castle?"
She laughed, shaking her head.
"Not bad. It's a pretty light day. For now, anyway. What can I do for you?"
"I just wanted to let you know that we still haven't found anything to help us on our case. Gibbs thinks that whoever killed those two teens is the same person who killed...well, you know."
Jenny nodded, noticing that he still hadn't said Kate's name once since her death, and waited.
"Anyway, I think it's more than likely true, but we just can't seem to find anything here. Between the weather and the precautions he took, I'm starting to think we aren't going to."
"And why are you the one telling me this instead of Gibbs?" she asked, only half-serious.
"Well, Gibbs went to get coffee for everyone, and McGeek is getting on my nerves, so I volunteered to to the briefing. Honestly, Jenny, I just needed a break for a few minutes."
She'd figured as much, but hearing him say it out loud made her realise just how much Kate's death had affected him, and she gave him a comforting look.
"I understand. It's been an extremely hard few weeks. Out of curiosity, what's McGee done to annoy you?"
"He keeps asking me if I'm okay."
Jenny raised an eyebrow, looking at her former partner seriously.
"And are you?" she asked softly.
He didn't answer, and Jenny leaned forward on her desk, her eyes never leaving his.
"Tony, it's completely okay if you aren't. I know you were good friends with Kate."
He flinched at the sound of her name, and Jenny wasn't surprised to see tears shining in his eyes. He looked away, directing his gaze to the ceiling, and she pushed her chair back from her desk slowly.
"Was there something more than that between you?"
He shook his head.
"No," he answered, his voice thick, "I teased her a lot, but...she was more like a sister than anything. It was just so fun to mess with her because she was such a rule follower. She used to get so mad at me for making her blush, but it was just so easy. I couldn't help myself."
Jenny smiled sadly.
"She knew you were just joking with her. She never complained about it to me or Gibbs. She probably thought it was really funny, but didn't want to admit it."
DiNozzo nodded, still not looking at her.
"You're probably right. I just wish I could have told her how much I liked having her as a friend."
"I'm sure she knew. Kate was extremely perceptive. It's what made her so good at her job."
He blinked, and Jenny saw the tears fall from his eyes, streaking down his face slowly, and she stood, ignoring the pain as she moved, placing her hand on his shoulder as she stopped in front of him.
"Why did it have to be her? Not that I wanted anything to happen to any of us, but..."
Jenny shook her head.
"These things just happen. It isn't right, it isn't fair, but we can't dwell on it. It doesn't help anyone to linger on the past and never move forward."
"I miss her so much," he whispered.
"I know, Tony," she said quietly, "and it might not seem like it now, but it does get easier over time. There will still be days where it will hit you all over again, sometimes for no apparent reason, and you'll wonder how you ever made it through, but you will. And if you ever need someone to talk to, or just to be there, you can come find me."
DiNozzo finally met her eyes again, hugging her tightly, and when he released her, he gave her a small smile.
"Don't tell Gibbs I hugged you. He might shoot me."
Jenny laughed, shaking her head.
"I doubt it. He wouldn't want to waste the bullet or clean up the mess."
She stepped back, her vision lurching suddenly to her right, and she stumbled, catching herself with a hand on the corner of her desk. Closing her eyes, she took several slow breaths, hoping that the dizziness she felt would pass soon, and without even checking, she knew DiNozzo was watching her.
"You okay, Shep?"
She didn't say anything, worried that she would be sick if she did, and tightened her hold on the desk.
"Jenny? What's wrong?"
She slowly shook her head, her eyes opening carefully, and she took a ragged breath.
"I just got a little dizzy."
"That was more than a little," DiNozzo said seriously, "Are you sure you're okay?"
Jenny nodded, relaxing her hold on the desk slightly, and raising her eyes to his.
"I'm okay. It's nothing."
She knew, just from the way he was looking at her, that he didn't believe her for an instant, and he shook his head.
"What is it? Are you pregnant? Is Carly going to have a little brother or sister?"
She laughed breathlessly, shaking her head.
"I'm not pregnant, believe me."
Deciding she would feel better if she sat down, she took a step away from the desk, letting go of the corner, and when her legs gave way beneath her, she braced herself for the pain of the fall. It never came, and it took her longer than she was willing to admit to realise that DiNozzo had caught her as she'd fallen. He carefully led her to the chair, her grip on his hand so tight that her knuckles were white, and as she sank into the chair, he gave her a serious look.
"What is going on? Come on, Red. Don't lie to me. Not after all we've been through. Once partners, always partners, remember?"
Jenny knew he would never let this go, knew there was nothing she could say to convince him that she was fine, and she finally sighed, running a shaking hand through her hair.
"You have to keep this need to know. The only people who know this are Carly, Gibbs, and Ducky. Do you understand?"
He nodded and she took a deep breath.
"I found out about a month and a half ago that I have multiple sclerosis. The symptoms are usually pretty manageable, but they've been getting worse lately. If things get so bad that I have to resign, I'll make an official announcement, but as of right now, I don't want people to know. I can't stand that look of pity that everyone gets on their face. Please, keep this quiet."
DiNozzo nodded, his eyes never leaving hers, and he kissed her cheek lightly.
"You know I've always got your back."
She smiled.
"The feeling is mutual."
He moved towards the door, and just before he opened it, he glanced over his shoulder, an undeniable look of amusement in his eyes.
"By the way, congratulations on your engagement."
She frowned, glancing down at the ring on her hand.
"Did Ducky tell you?"
He shook his head, smiling.
"Nope. Your engagement ring was cutting into my fingers as I helped you to the chair. Gibbs is a lucky man. You deserve all the best, Jenny."
"Thank you, Tony," she said, unable to keep from smiling.
"Anytime, Shep. Anytime."
Jenny was so caught up in typing up the official notice that Gibbs' case was to be closed that the ringing of her office phone made her jump, swearing quietly. The day was almost over, and she could think of no one who would have a reason to call her, but she begrudgingly picked up the receiver, trying to keep her tone light.
"Shepard."
"Hey, Mom. I have a question for you."
She frowned.
"Why did you call my desk phone?"
Carly laughed.
"Because you didn't answer your cell," she replied simply, "Anyway, I have a question for you."
"Okay, go ahead."
"How would you feel about grandchildren?"
Jenny froze, her heart pounding in her chest, and she blinked hard.
"A-are you pregnant?"
"Answer the question."
"I-I don't know. I guess it would be fine, but...I'm a little young to be a grandmother, don't you think?"
"True, but that wasn't the question. Anyway, I'll fill you in on the situation when you get home. Love you!"
"Carly, wait—"
Too late, she realised that Carly had hung up, and she sighed, trying to shake her worry from her mind. What was Carly thinking? She'd been working so hard to earn her degree and she knew that a baby would make it much more difficult. Still, she knew it wasn't her decision, and if Carly had decided that this was what she wanted, Jenny would support her in any way she could.
She sighed again, closing her eyes tiredly, and laid her head on her desk, trying to figure out what she was going to do if things didn't improve. Something had to change and soon...or it was going to cost her more than she was willing to pay.
Gibbs
Glancing at his watch, Gibbs frowned when he realised that it was now approaching 19:30 and Jenny still hadn't come out of her office. He stood slowly, gritting his teeth against the pain in his knee, and made his way up the stairs, hoping she hadn't gotten called in for a meeting or to oversee an op. Cynthia was long gone, her desk noticeably empty as he passed it, and he smiled to himself. As much as he enjoying pressing her buttons, he really was quite fond of the younger girl. There was a sass to her that reminded him of Kelly, of who she might have been if...
He shook his head, pushing the thought from his mind.
Don't go down that road, Jethro, he reminded himself sternly.
That road led only to darkness and destruction, and it was for the best of everyone if he steered clear of it. He opened Jenny's office door, prepared to haul her from her desk if needed, and frowned when he saw her. She was sitting in her chair, her head on her arms, eyes closed, fast asleep. He fought back a laugh, knowing how tired she must have been to have allowed this to happen, and he walked silently closer.
Leaning down to wake her, Gibbs glanced at her computer screen, curious as to what had quite literally bored her to sleep, and frowned as he read the words in front of him. Anger, white—hot and swift—flooded his system and he had to resist his urge to shake Jenny awake and demand answers. How could she order them to close the case? This case had cost Kate her life and the lives of at least two teenagers that they knew of...how could she be so heartless, so cold? Didn't she have even a hint of empathy or compassion?
Not trusting himself to keep his anger under control, he straightened up and crossed the room in four steps, opening and closing the door louder than he had intended. Not that he particularly cared. If it woke her, then so be it. He didn't much care if she was annoyed at the moment. Throwing himself into his chair as soon as he reached the squad room, he glanced at Kate's now-empty desk, feeling a fresh wave of grief wash over him.
It just wasn't fair.
He walked over to the desk, running his fingers lightly over the surface, and frowned when he noticed that the bottom drawer was slightly ajar. No one had touched her desk in the wake of her death, so he knew it had to have been Kate who had last used this drawer, and he reached out to open it. If there was something of hers that had been left behind, he owed it to her family to send it to them, after all.
It was empty, save for a bottle of hand lotion, some breath mints and a black leather-bound book. He ignored the mints and lotion, picking the book up curiously, and when he realised it was a sketch book, he narrowed his eyes in concentration. The profile of Tim McGee was unmistakable in the drawing, and he smiled as he turned the page. He hadn't known that Kate had been such a skilled artist. The first drawing of Tony DiNozzo almost made him laugh out loud, purely because it was so accurate, even for a caricature. The cartoon-like depiction showed him watching the back of a woman as she walked away, his tongue hanging out, holding a smoking gun.
The next drawing of DiNozzo was much more true-to-life, both in its execution and the fact that Gibbs had witness the other agent in a pose exactly like it on more than one occasion. He was leaning back in his chair, phone to his ear, laughing. It was so lifelike that he almost expected to hear the sound of the agent's laughter coming through the page. He smiled, flipping to the next page. Abby, as she'd looked during one of her outings with Kate, a skull and crossbones drawn on the hat she wore. He knew there was another drawing depicting the forensic scientist as a bat because he'd seen in hanging in her lab, and he chuckled as he flipped the page again.
Ducky, his calm nature evident even in art, his eyes looking somewhat mischievous and a slight smile on his lips. The next picture was one he hadn't expected and he smiled when he recognised Jenny's face, her beauty just as striking on the page as it was in person. He turned to the next drawing, taking longer than he expected to understand that he was looking at his own eyes. The expression on his face was almost playful, joking, and he frowned as he ran his hand over the page lightly.
Kate had perfectly captured the essence of each of her subjects, and he was saddened to find that his was the last sketch in the book. She'd been extremely talented, that was for certain.
"What are you looking at?"
He jumped slightly at the close proximity of Jenny's voice, and glanced up to find her standing just over his shoulder, so close he could smell her perfume.
"Kate's sketch book. I found it in her desk."
Jenny leaned closer, looking at the picture of him, and smiled.
"She was very good. It looks just like you."
He didn't answer, merely handing her the book.
"Drew you, too."
She flipped the book to the beginning, laughing softly at the caricature of DiNozzo, smiling at the ones of Abby and Ducky, and when she came to her own picture, she paused, her eyes sad.
"What should we do with them?"
"Give them to her family, I suppose."
He watched her carefully, trying to gauge her emotions, and she shook her head slowly.
"I don't think that's what Kate would want. I think she would want the people she drew to have them. I have an idea. Why don't we frame them? They won't be damaged that way, and then the subjects can decide what to do with them from there."
He nodded, his eyes never leaving her face.
"Sure."
Jenny closed the book, holding it securely in her hands, and something about the sight of her standing there, alive, holding Kate's sketch book made his anger return in full force and he glared at her, his expression undeniably furious.
"Since when do you care about what Kate would want?"
The words flew from his mouth before he even knew it had happened, and the look of confusion on Jenny's face was so strong that it was almost comical.
"What?"
"Kate would want to find the person responsible for this. Kate would want to do everything possible to find justice for the people who were murdered. Kate would do whatever it took to solve this case, not close it! I saw the notice! How could you do this, Jenny? We just need more time. Do you even give a damn about finding the person who killed her? Or are you too good for that, now that you have a fancy new office?"
He knew, as soon as he'd said it, that he'd gone too far, but he was too angry to care. Jenny's eyes were bright with anger and what he strongly suspected were tears, and she slammed Kate's sketch book down on the desk, glaring at him.
"How dare you?" she whispered.
She turned and made her way to the elevator, and he wasted no time in bolting up the stairs, knowing she was heading for her office. He made it just in time, standing outside the elevator as the doors slid open, and she glared at him as she tried to walk past him.
"Get out of my way, Agent Gibbs," she said coldly.
"No."
She shoved him aside with a strength that was surprising given how badly she was shaking, and he followed her to her office, giving her no chance to escape him. He closed the door behind himself and when Jenny turned to face him, he was unprepared for the anger he could feel radiating from her.
"You're out of line."
"You're closing our case! The very case that cost Kate her life! If we don't find the person responsible, then she died for nothing!"
"You think I don't know that?" Jenny snapped, "I know how hard losing Kate has been. On the agency, on you, on Tony, McGee...I know!"
"Then give us more time, Jen!"
"I can't!" her voice was dangerously close to breaking, but he couldn't tell if it was from anger or the tears still lingering in her eyes, "I would give you all the time in the world if I could, but I can't go against SecNav. I would lose my job and then it would be shut down anyway. My hands are tied, there's nothing I could do!"
He knew she was right, knew he shouldn't be directing his anger towards her, but she was the only person in the room, so...
"You should have tried harder."
"God damn it, Jethro! What do you think all those conference calls were about? SecNav wanted to close your case weeks ago, but I pushed back on it! There's no evidence other than the video footage, which only shows the crime, not the perpetrator. Anything that would have been in the woods was washed away by the rain. Believe it or not, I do actually work when I'm in my office!"
"Didn't seem to be half an hour ago," he spat, still too angry to see reason.
"What are you talking about?" Jenny asked exasperatedly.
"I came to your office to tell you it was time to go. You were asleep at your desk. The order to close our case must have been really boring if you fell asleep typing it up."
He saw the pain flash in her eyes, and when she shook her head, he thought he saw her sway slightly on her feet.
"You had no right to look at my computer."
"You were going to email it to me anyway!"
"That isn't the point and you know it. I want to find the bastard who killed Kate just as much as you do. If I could, I would go back in time and make sure that this hadn't happened. I don't want to see someone like her be killed for nothing, I don't want Tony DiNozzo in so much pain that he's crying in my office and he can't even say her name, I don't want to live with knowing that there might not be anything I can do to make this right!"
She took a deep breath, the tears she'd been fighting against for so long finally falling from her eyes, and looked at him with so much pain that it nearly took his breath away.
"I can't make SecNav change his mind, I can't take Tony's grief away and make this easier for him, and I can't bring Kate back, Jethro. And I am so sorry."
Her voice broke and without even a moments hesitation, he moved closer, pulling her into his arms, feeling her tears dampen his jacket.
"I'm so fucking sorry, Jethro," she whispered.
"Shh...I know, Jen. I was angry and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have."
"I tried...I really tried, and I let Kate down."
"No, Jen. You didn't let Kate down and she knows you tried. You did your best, and that's all anyone can ask of you."
Gibbs ran his hand over her hair, kissing the top of her head lightly, and when Jenny stepped back a moment later, she shook her head slowly.
"Can we go home now?"
He nodded, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
"You bet."
Shepard
Jenny was just stepping out of the shower when she heard the sound of the front door open and the sound of Carly's voice filled the air. She'd almost completely forgotten that they had spoken that day, and as she hurriedly got dressed, she wondered how Gibbs would take whatever news their daughter had come to give them. If she was right, she didn't think it would go over as well as the younger girl hoped.
Carly gave her a hug as soon as she saw her, and Jenny found that she couldn't stop herself from analysing every aspect of her physical appearance. Had she gained weight? Lost weight? Were there dark circles from sleep deprivation? She seemed to be okay, but Jenny also knew that Carly was a master of deception when she needed to be.
"How was work today, Mom?"
Jenny shrugged. It was for the best if this particular day was left in the past.
"Same as always. What about you, Little One? What's this news you called about?"
The redhead could feel Gibbs' confusion from where he sat on the couch, but Carly merely laughed.
"Right. Dad, I already asked Mom, but how would you feel about being a grandparent?"
The loud cough told Jenny that Gibbs had nearly choked on his bourbon, and she had to stifle her laughter. Typical Gibbs...
"Close your eyes," Carly said excitedly, "I have something to show you."
Glancing at Gibbs quickly, Jenny shrugged and did as she was told, waiting to see what their daughter had planned. A small piece of paper was placed into her hand, and just from the texture, Jenny knew it was a photograph. She resisted the urge to open her eyes immediately, instead waiting for Carly's permission, and just when she didn't think she could stand it any longer, she heard her voice.
"Okay, open your eyes."
Jenny held up the photograph, fighting the urge to laugh.
"A puppy? Gibbs asked.
Carly nodded.
"I adopted her today. Evan's got her right now, they're going to the pet store to pick out everything she needs, but I'll bring her over in a few days. Isn't she cute?"
Indeed, she was. From what Jenny could tell, the puppy appeared to be an Australian Shepherd, her coat a beautiful mixture of brown, black, and white, with huge brown eyes and soft ears.
"She's adorable," Jenny agreed, "What's her name?"
"Marnie. She already had a name when we adopted her, so...we didn't want to change it. She loves to cuddle in our laps, but once she gets bigger, that might be a little difficult. Evan adores her, and she's so smart."
"So...we have a...granddog?" Gibbs asked, his voice slightly confused.
"Yep," Carly said proudly, "We're going to save up to have her professionally trained so that no one can break in, and plus, with Evan working at night, it's nice to have company."
Jenny smiled, hugging Carly warmly.
"I think it's a great idea. I can't wait to meet her."
Carly smiled, glancing at Gibbs before standing.
"I guess I'd better go. I've got a huge exam tomorrow."
Gibbs hugged her, kissing her cheek before letting her go, his eyes meeting Jenny's as Carly walked past, and she smiled.
"Make sure you let me know when you make it home, Little One."
"I will! Love you guys!"
The room was noticeably quieter from the moment that the door closed, and when Jenny felt a hand land on her shoulder, she turned slightly.
"It's been a long day, Jen. Let's go to bed."
She knew by the tone of his voice that Gibbs had little interest in sleeping, and she smiled, turning to face him slowly.
"Hm...and is there an incentive if I agree?"
His eyebrow raised as he pulled her closer, bringing his lips to hers in a long kiss. She allowed him to lead her up the stairs, wasting no time in pulling him down on the bed, and she threaded her fingers into his hair.
"I love you. You know that, right?"
Gibbs frowned, clearly unsure of why she had mentioned it, but nodded anyway.
"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"
"I just..." she paused, unsure of how to explain, "With everything that happened today, I was worried."
Gibbs shook his head, kissing her slowly.
"I know it wasn't your fault. You did what you were told to do and I was wrong to fight with you about it."
Jenny smiled, still running her fingers through his hair.
"Well, how do you intend to make it up to me?"
His lips met hers in a kiss that was so hard it took her breath away, pushing her back on the mattress. Her hands slid under his shirt, her nails trailing over his skin, and he brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
"I love you, Jen," he whispered, running his tongue slowly along the crease of her collarbone.
Her right hand gripped his shoulder as her left arm supported her weight, and she fought to catch her breath as his moved his mouth up to her jawline. Her breath came in shallow intervals, accompanied by a strange tightening in her chest, and she opened her eyes, slightly concerned. Gibbs didn't appear to notice that anything had changed, but when Jenny attempted to take another breath, she knew without a doubt that something was wrong.
She carefully let her grip on his shoulder relax, moving her hand on down to his chest, applying a slight pressure to get his attention.
"Jethro, wait..."
God, even speaking took a tremendous amount of effort.
He looked at her, his eyes meeting hers immediately, and he frowned.
"What's wrong?"
"I..." she paused, still trying to catch her breath, "Jethro, I can't..."
"Easy, Jen...it's okay. Can you tell me what's wrong?"
"I can't...catch my breath," she gasped, resting her head on his shoulder weakly.
Gibbs pulled her upright carefully, steadying her with a hand on her shoulder, and she could have sworn that she could hear her own heartbeat. Her breath was still shallow, but the tightening in her chest had eased considerably, and she closed her eyes, trying to gradually deepen her breathing.
"Do you want a glass of water?"
She nodded once, and he was gone and back before she had even comprehended that he'd moved. He held out the mason jar of water, but her hands were shaking so badly that she couldn't navigate it properly. He took it from her carefully, brushing her hair back from her face, and as she took a small drink, she held onto his wrists tightly. It was becoming easier, this feeling of breathing that she had once taken for granted, and she slowly relaxed her hold on Gibbs' wrists, opening her eyes cautiously.
"Jen?"
"I'm okay," she said answered softly.
She could tell without even looking that he was still watching her, and when she glanced up to find his eyes mere inches from her own, she smiled weakly.
"Jethro, I'm fine. I just...don't think sex is on the agenda for us tonight."
He rolled his eyes.
"That's the last thing on my mind right now. I wouldn't care if we never had sex again as long as you were okay."
Jenny frowned, pulling back to examine his face. Surely he had to be joking.
"You don't mean that," she said quietly.
"Like hell I don't," he replied seriously, "I don't give a damn about that. I loved you before we had sex, I'll love you even if it never happens again. You mean more to me than that."
Though he'd done nothing wrong, Jenny couldn't stop the way her eyes began to fill with tears, and when they dripped down her face, she made no move to wipe them away.
"Hey..." Gibbs' voice was gentle in a way she hadn't expected, making her cry harder, "what is it?"
"I just...why would you want to be with me when we can't even—"
"Jen, stop. Please. So we can't have sex tonight...that doesn't mean we can't ever have sex again. And I promise you, as soon as you feel up to it, I'm going to drive you insane."
Jenny laughed, her bright green eyes meeting his blue, and she reached out to touch his face gently.
"Have I mentioned that I love you?"
He smiled, turning his head to kiss her palm.
"Yeah...but it always bears repeating."
Gibbs
It had taken Jenny longer than usual to fall asleep that night and while he normally loved watching her sleep, tonight he had other plans. He'd made copies of the drawings from Kate's sketch book that evening before leaving work, and after he'd looked through her personnel file, he had located the address of Kate's sister Rachel. As he sat down in the basement, he'd pulled out an old notebook, writing and re-writing different variations of the same letter, and he sighed as he read another copy.
Dear Rachel,
I had the pleasure of working with your sister, Kate. She was a brave young woman and I was proud of the work she accomplished right up until the moment of her death. She died trying to find justice for two people who deserved it and—
No. That didn't sound right. It sounded basic and rehearsed. It sounded fake. Time to try again.
Dear Rachel,
My wife and I had the honour of working with your sister, Kate. She was a brave young woman who was loved by everyone she knew and we miss her every day. I found this sketch book in her desk today and I thought you deserved to have it. It contains drawings of everyone she worked with, my wife and I included (we're the last two pictures). I know it won't take away the pain of her death, but maybe having even just a piece of her will help.
With my deepest sympathy,
Agent L.J. Gibbs
It wasn't much better, but it was as good as he could manage. After all, Jenny was the one who was good with words. He folded the letter, and after a few minutes of searching, managed to find a mailing envelope large enough to accommodate both the book and letter. Carefully writing Rachel's address on the outside, he sealed it quickly before he could change his mind again, and as he turned out the light on the table, he found that he felt slightly better.
It wasn't as good as catching the person responsible for Kate's death, but for now, it would have to be enough.
"Jethro?"
Shit.
"Yeah?"
"Are you staying down here tonight, or are you coming up to bed?"
He let out a quiet sigh of relief, turning on the light again. At least she wasn't angry.
"I'll be up in a few minutes. You should get some rest."
He heard her laugh, a bit bitterly, in his opinion.
"I would, if my mind would shut up. I can't stop thinking about everything. Work, Carly, you name it, I've probably thought of it."
"Solving world hunger?" he asked jokingly.
"Pretty much," she answered dryly, "I'm going to get a drink, do you want one?"
"Sure."
Her retreating footsteps made him laugh softly, and he shook his head as he searched for a postage stamp. Typical Jenny, overthinking things as she always did. After placing the stamp and clicking off the light, he began walking up the stairs, hoping that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow would be better.
The sudden movement next to him in the bed woke Gibbs from his sleep three hours before his alarm was slated to sound, and he frowned in the darkness As his eyes adjusted, he could see Jenny on her side of the bed, sitting straight up, her eyes wide as she stared at the corner of the room.
"Jen, are you okay?"
"Do you see her, too?"
He frowned, looking in the direction of her gaze. He could see nothing out of the ordinary, and he shook his head.
"I think you're still partially asleep. There's no one here but us."
"She's right there, up against the wall."
Still he saw nothing, and laid his hand on her shoulder, feeling her body trembling beneath his fingers.
"Who is it?" he asked, certain he knew the answer.
"Shannon," Jenny whispered, her eyes wide, "I don't know how I know that, but it's her. She looks just like the picture of your wedding day."
Of all the answers he had expected, it hadn't been this one. He knew that Shannon wasn't really there, so why did he suddenly feel his heart racing?
"Jen...you're dreaming. Go back to sleep, okay? Everything's fine."
She said nothing, but when he ran his fingers through her hair, she blinked, glancing at him with a look of disorientation.
"Jethro? Why are you looking at me like that? Is something wrong?"
He frowned.
"Do you see anything in that corner?" he asked, nodding his head in the proper direction.
Jenny peered in the darkness for a moment, then shook her head.
"No, why? Should I be?"
"Nevermind," he said, "Just get some rest."
"Leroy Jethro Gibbs," she said with a laugh as she leaned over to kiss him, "You are a strange man."
He laughed quietly, shaking his head as he laid back down in the darkness, wrapping his arm around her waist. If she only knew the half of it...
A/N: Hm...Shannon? What could that mean?
