That night, Lucas struggled to sleep. His mind was whirling with the news of being a dad, of finally seeing Elizabeth again, of her struggle to let him in. They never had a problem with trust when they were dating. It had been easy, wonderful, magical even. He had fallen in love on their first date and he was officially a goner from that point on. Until they lost touch.
Almost six years before, Cambridge England
Lucas leaned back against the stone wall of Cambridge Hall, where he was meeting Elizabeth for their date. She was getting out of her last class of the day in about two minutes. Then he was taking her "punting," on the River Cam. Essentially, it was a ride along the river in a flat bottom boat, pushed along by a guy with a long pole.
He imagined it was similar to a gondola ride, just in England.
"Lucas?"
He turned and couldn't help but grin. She was so beautiful and he couldn't wait to spend time with her without being in a drafty library or having their roommates or classmates anywhere around.
"Hey, beautiful," he greeted, offering his hand. She smiled back and took his hand, willing to go wherever he wanted.
"Where are you taking me?" She looked down at her sweater and jeans, thinking it would be okay for the cooler fall weather they were enjoying.
"Punting."
"On the river?"
"Yeah. Have you done it before?"
"No, but lots of my friends have. They said its pretty romantic."
"That's the plan." He held up his bag. "I have a bottle of wine and some fruit too."
"Great. Let's go."
They got in his car and drove the mile or so to the lot near Mill Lane, their departure point.
As they drifted down the very clear, calm river, they sipped on their wine and listened as the guide told them about the landmarks they were seeing.
Lucas, however, with his arm around Elizabeth, was enjoying her, not the scenery. She smelled flowery and lovely and feeling her so close made him feel warm and happy and needed.
"What?" she asked, noticing his gaze.
"Nothing. I'm just glad we are doing this. I'm glad we met."
"Me too but I could have done without the way we met."
He laughed and she nudged him with her elbow. "Hush. You wouldn't be laughing if you were the one that had a whole pitcher of beer poured on you."
She had been upset at the time, but that whole situation led to having an enormous crush on the man right next to her. So she wasn't upset anymore.
"Am I ever going to get my t-shirt back that I loaned you?"
"I don't see that happening," she said. She wanted to keep it. It smelled like him.
"Fine. I guess seeing you in my t-shirt isn't a bad thing to see."
"No?"
He shook his head and leaned closer, placing a soft kiss on her jaw. "Not at all."
……
Current time
Lucas smiled and wondered if she still had his shirt. Still wore it to sleep in?
Elizabeth wandered out of her room around midnight. She couldn't sleep with Lucas in the house. All she could think of was the amazing four months they were together. How wonderful it felt to have such a connection with someone. After he didn't show up in Chicago, her heart was broken. She was alone and she was forced to do all the new mother things alone.
She sniffled and put a mug of water in the microwave with a tea bag. Maybe it would relax her enough to sleep.
"Beth?"
She loved it when he called her that. Or at least she used to. Now it felt a little too familiar.
"Lucas."
"You alright?"
She turned her head for a moment and looked at him. Thankfully he had a shirt on. "I'm fine."
"You usually make tea at midnight?"
"When I can't sleep, yes."
"Why can't you sleep?"
"I have a lot on my mind. Why are you awake?"
"I was thinking about our first date."
She smiled to herself as she turned to get the mug out of the microwave. It was an amazing first date. She fell so in love with him that day.
"Remember it, Beth?"
"Of course I do."
"I fell in love with you in that boat."
She looked at him, into his hazel eyes and only saw sincerity.
"I'm not that girl anymore. I've grown up. I'm a mom."
"I know that."
"I don't know how to be that girl anymore."
"You don't need to be. Just be you. We all change as we get older. I'm not the same either."
"That's what scares me."
"I'm not going to hurt you. Or Noa."
"Not intentionally. But what if you decide that you don't want to move out here and Noa gets attached and then you're all the way in New York?" What if Elizabeth herself got too attached? Opened her heart again and it just got broken again. It took her over a year to get over him the first time and really, she still loved him so maybe she never had.
"You're going to have to trust me here, Beth. You trusted me before and I'm more responsible now. I will take care of you and Noa and I will move here and even if you and I don't get back together, I will try to be a good father to our daughter."
"I don't need you to take care of us. I'm not trying to push you away, but I've done this on my own for four years. We may not have had everything we wanted but we had what we needed."
"Will you allow me to be her dad?"
"I won't stop you; I just don't want her to get hurt."
"I understand."
She turned and nodded at him. "Good night, Lucas."
"Wait. Do you remember that t-shirt I loaned you that you never gave back?"
She untied her robe and smiled. "This one? I told you I was keeping it."
"You do still sleep in it."
"I do." It didn't smell like him anymore, but her mind told her that if she wore it, it would keep him close.
"Elizabeth."
"I thought about you every day," she whispered, reaching for his hand, needing his touch for just a moment.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I let you down."
"You were in the hospital. Now that I know, I understand."
"I can see you don't fully trust me. I want to fix that. Can we start by being friends again?"
She knew that being just friends with the man she was in love with would kill her but she wanted to start somewhere. She wanted to trust him and the future they had dreamed about.
"Yeah. Friends."
"Great." He yawned and smiled. "I think I can sleep now."
She nodded. "Night." She took her tea up to her room and drank it, letting her mind drift back to Cambridge. Their second date was a bike tour of the city. It was also when he kissed her for the first time. A sweet memory to drift off to sleep to.
……
Second date, Cambridge
As they started biking, she was a bit wobbly but she figured it out soon enough. They rode along the streets and then along the edge of the river. Then when they got tired, they stopped at a café and had coffee, tea for him, and pastries.
"Oh my goodness," she mumbled around her bite of sticky bun.
"Good?" he asked, a smirk on his face as he wiped icing off the corner of her mouth with his thumb.
"Mmhm," she confirmed, offering him a bite. He opened and nodded as it melted in his mouth.
He sipped his tea and enjoyed a croissant as they chatted a bit longer.
There was never a lack of things to talk about. She wanted to know every single thing about him and she wouldn't ever tire of his voice. Or looking into his eyes. Or making him smile to see his dimples.
She threaded their fingers together and kept eating.
As they finished, instead of biking more, they left their bikes chained nearby and went for a walk down to the river, hand in hand.
"So this has been a great day," she mentioned. He slid his hands around her lower back and pulled her close, stepping between her feet.
"It has," he agreed. He pressed his lips to her forehead, lingering a moment. "I'm really glad I met you, Elizabeth Thatcher."
"I'm really glad I met you too."
She rested her head against his shoulder and soaked in his warmth. "You smell so good," she sighed, tightening her arms around his waist.
They turned and watched the water, the sun going down minute by minute.
"So, I feel like if I were to introduce you to my mother and father, I'd say you were my girlfriend. Would that be alright with you?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Think?"
"Well, we haven't kissed yet so…"
He lowered his head and sweetly, softly kissed her. It felt like a caress and a tease at the same time. When he pulled back, she almost groaned, needing more of him.
"Please more," she whispered. She got up on her toes making it clear she wasn't done with this first kiss of theirs.
Who was he to deny a valid request for his girlfriend?
This time, he didn't hold back. He poured his very real feelings into their embrace, slowly letting it build in intensity, and then letting her set the pace. He let her pull back when she was ready.
"Yeah," she panted as they caught their breath. "Girlfriend is good."
….
Current
Elizabeth sighed as she drifted off to sleep, wondering if he still kissed as good as before. She didn't think people lost that ability. That thought made her giggle. She'd have to ask Faith what she thought.
Around 7am, she heard Noa giggle and then she heard Lucas' voice. She yawned and got up, putting her slippers on and heading to the bathroom.
"Mommy!" Noa yelled, running in her room, the same way she did every morning.
"I'll be out in a minute, punkin."
"Kay."
The second she emerged from the bathroom, Noa jumped up from the bed. "Mommy, Daddy is making waffles for breakfast. I love those!"
"He is, huh?" He must have searched her cupboards for the waffle iron. She hadn't used it in a few years.
"Yeah! Come on."
As she walked out she watched him cook for a moment. "Making yourself at home?" she asked, mostly teasing.
"I thought I'd make you and Noa breakfast," he shrugged. "I hope you don't mind. I just feel like you let me stay here so I should do something for you."
His phone buzzed as it rang on the counter. He glanced at it and then flipped it over.
"You don't need to get that?" she wondered as she started to make her morning coffee.
"You still drink that stuff, huh?" he asked, wrinkling his nose and avoiding her question.
"Coffee? Yes. Want some?" she asked, knowing the answer.
"No thanks."
She grabbed two different boxes of tea from the cupboard. "Help yourself."
"Thanks."
"Daddy? Can I help you cook, please?" Noa asked from near his hip.
He glanced at Elizabeth who smiled briefly and then picked up Noa, putting her on the counter. "Here, stir this, sweet pea."
"Okay!"
Elizabeth was so amazed at how quickly Noa using the title "Daddy" and Lucas' term of endearment "sweet pea" sounded so natural and burrowed into her heart.
Hadn't she wished for this? For five years? Making breakfast with her family? A daddy for Noa?
She had, countless times, and now that she had it, she didn't want to lose it. The only problem was she also didn't want another broken heart.
His phone buzzed again. "Girlfriend?"
His eyes met hers and he looked away.
"No, not girlfriend. Just a friend who I go out with sometimes. It's been a few months and she's back in New York after traveling for a bit."
Elizabeth nodded. Of course the man dated. He was sexy and smart and kind. They weren't together and they had only reconnected because he happened to be in her town.
Somehow though, knowing he was seeing someone, even every few months, stung.
"Have you dated?" he asked her.
"No."
"At all? I find that hard to believe."
"It was always you, Luke. Then after you, I focused on Noa and teaching."
He nodded and put a waffle on a plate for Noa.
"I didn't want anyone else," she told him quietly. "I only wanted you."
