Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story. The OC's belong to their respective owners.
To Quark's Guest: As much as I love Tom and Jerry... i'm looking at that movie like "...Why is this a thing?" but am I gonna go out of my way and watch it because i'm a sucker for Tom and Jerry? Yes.
Moments before Ironwood declared war on Bowser
"AAAAAAAGH!" Ironwood cried as he was blasted by Vanilla and Lumiere.
"Vanill!"
"Laaaamp!"
"Don't you just get tired of it? This is getting pretty sad at this point." Bowser said, leaning on a wall.
"I will not rest until they are behind bars!"
"The only way they are going to be behind bars is if I actually allow it… but guess what, I'm not that kind of guy!" Bowser said with a chuckle.
Ironwood stood up, glaring at Bowser as he approached the Koopa King, but Koopatrols blocked him entry. "One of these days, you will give up."
"Not gonna happen pal… but may I make a suggestion?"
"What's that?"
"Grow a beard! Then maybe I can take you seriously!" Bowser said.
Ironwood growled. "Fine then… then you leave me with no other choice."
"Hmm?"
"As of this moment, the Atlas Military are at war with you."
"Pffft… BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Are you serious? You think you can declare war and expect to win? This war will last for five minutes… and that's just me being generous!"
"I will not stop until-"
"General!" A voice yelled as Ironwood turned to see Winter looking rather annoyed with him, and was accompanied by Esdeath. "What the HELL are you doing?"
"Negotiating with Bowser."
"Oh really? Because I could have sworn I heard you declare war on him." Winter said. "While Bowser can be insufferable, there is no way to handle things. If you go into war, you'll lose horribly to Bowser. I give this war four minutes before you lose."
"Winter, if we can work together, we'll capture Torchwick and Neopolitan from Bowser's clutches."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"Yes!" Ironwood pointed at Bowser. "Winter. Charge."
"…No."
Ironwood's eyes widened in surprise and turned to her. Even Esdeath looked surprised. "What did you say?"
"I said no." Winter said.
"Are you… are you disobeying a direct order?! I order you to-"
POW!
"Order to... order for four please..." Ironwood lost consciousness and collapsed.
"Well... I was not expecting any of that." Esdeath commented.
"I was honestly surprised I did that myself." Winter said, looking at the ones who knocked out Ironwood. "Thank you for your assistance, Blue Team, I'll remember to send you your reward later today."
"Yeah, no problem and all that crap." Church said.
"He isn't dead, is he?" Esdeath asked, poking the knocked out Ironwood with a stick.
"Eh, I wouldn't worry about it, mainly because this shit isn't my problem." Church answered. "I only told Caboose to help a little bit… but just in case." Church check Ironwood's pulse to see if he was alive. "Yep, he's still alive."
"I like helping." Caboose spoke.
"Shut up, Caboose." Church muttered before turning to Winter. "Just remember about our reward. Now hurry up and let's get the fuck out of this place, guys."
"Just a moment." Tucker said.
"Tucker, if you're gonna do what I think you're gonna do, I swear to god-"
"Hey ladies, y'all like snow cones?"
"Oh for fuck sake…"
"…I suppose so." Winter answered.
"Where are you going with this?" Esdeath asked.
"Well you ladies like snow cones, and I like snow cones. We have so much in common." Tucker said. "And I must say, you two have some very nice snow cones; big, round snow cones just asking to be licked. Now chicka bow wow!"
"Oh god." Church groaned.
"What are you…" Winter noticed where Tucker was looking, and then blushed furiously when she connected the dots. "HOW DARE YOU!" She yelled, covering up her chest.
"PERVERT!" Esdeath yelled, freezing Tucker up while leaving his head free.
"Wow, that was pretty cold! You must be colder than cold showers. Bow chicka bow wow!"
"Tucker, shut up!" Church growled. "So he's not gonna stay like this, is he?"
"Give two or three weeks and he'll thaw out." Esdeath answered.
"TWO OR THREE WEEKS?!"
"One week if you thaw him out now. But I say this is fitting punishment." Esdeath said as she and Winter glared at Tucker before walking away with a "humph", Winter dragging Ironwood away.
"Worth it."
"Shut up, dumbass."
"…What just happened?" A Koopatrol asked.
"Honestly? I'm not sure myself." Bowser said as he walked away while Roman and Neo looked at each other.
Later…
"Ugh." Ironwood groaned as he slowly regained consciousness, seeing that he was a little ways away from Bowser's Castle.
"Well, look who decided to wake up." Ironwood heard someone said, looking to see it was Esdeath.
"What happened…?" He questioned.
"You got knocked out by the Blue Team, nothing too serious." Esdeath quipped while filing her nails.
"The Blue Team, them of all people?"
"It was either them or the Reds, but their leader likely would have pointed a gun at you." Winter said.
"I suppose that's a good point." Ironwood said. He then sighed before looking down. "I really went a little overboard back there, didn't I?"
"A little?" Esdeath chuckled.
"Okay, a lot." He groaned.
"If I may, General." Winter spoke. "I swore an oath that I would follow your every command, but in all honesty, I sometimes worry about your state of mind." She said. "Declaring war over something so insignificant? And for what, just to get two fugitives out of someone's clutches? Now that is just borderline insane… No offense."
"None taken, in fact I think I needed to hear that." Ironwood admitted. "Any further and I would have gotten myself killed, or worse."
"Oh that we can agree on." Esdeath said
BGM: Kairi III (Kingdom Hearts)
"If I may, General, I think it's best if you took a vacation, perhaps a little tan on the beach, soak in a hot spring, anything to keep your mind off of things." Winter recommended.
"I hear there's a spa that gives great massages, one in particular is just crazy with his hand." Esdeath said that last part with an almost sadistic smirk.
"I-I'll take your word on the messages." Ironwood stuttered a bit. "But a vacation doesn't sound too bad. I could use it to let out some stress."
"That's all I ask, General." Winter said.
"Well while I take my break, I shall be leaving you under General Esdeath. I'm sure you will be as good with her as you are with me." He said.
"I shall do my best while under her care, General."
"And I'll do my best to teach her everything I know." Esdeath said
"Hopefully noteverything." He muttered. "Perhaps you could even start your own team, akin to the Ace-Ops back in Atlas. They've always looked up to you."
"Oh, well I wouldn't say I'm qualified for something like that, General." Winter said.
"Nonsense, I say that you've proven yourself to be more than qualified for such a task." Esdeath spoke her opinion.
"Especially after today." Ironwood added. "Now if you don't mind, I must call a transport to pick me up so I can head back to Vale."
"But you may want to call off your war with Bowser first." She brought up.
"…Fair enough. Though before I go, there is something I must say to you, Winter."
"And that may be?" Winter questioned a bit worriedly as Ironwood walked over to her…
…And placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Thank you, Winter, for saving me from myself. I am very grateful for it."
This surprised Winter at first, but slowly she formed a smile from the generosity. "It is the least I can do, General."
Later, with Winter and Esdeath…
"I have to say, you made the right call. If it were me, I'd sever ties with him if I was serving under him."
"Yes… He is a great man, but he can become so obsessed over something so pointless… Don't tell him I said that." Winter said.
"My lips are sealed." Esdeath put her hand on her shoulder. "Tell you what… if I ever need you for something, I'll let you know. But for now, take your own advice by spend time with your family. I'm sure they need it."
"Yes… my mother is looking into finding a home in Toad Town. Honestly… I think spending more time with the family will do me some good."
Esdeath sweetly smiled at her. "And I will fully support it." She said and then let out a chuckle. "Well then… I suppose Lubbock, Najenda, Sheele, Bulat, Kurome, Wave and Bols will be in for a surprise once I tell them."
Winter let out a chuckle. "Ah yes, the Winter-Op." She said. "I'm looking forward to working with them." She let out a chuckle as they walked back to Toad Town together.
End BGM
Meanwhile…
"I'm telling you, this ice isn't melting any faster!" Church exclaimed as he built a campfire, poorly made, next to a frozen Tucker. It had been a few hours since Esdeath froze him and it was now night time.
"And I'm telling you that you're not trying hard enough!" Tucker shot back. "Man, I can't believe those ladies went with Ironwood instead of me. I have a way more Ironwood than him! Bow chicka bow wow!"
"Gross, and it's your own fucking fault for hitting on them, and sucking at it."
"What can I say, with tits like those I just gotta work my charm. Now hurry up and melt this fucking ice!"
"What do you think I'm trying to do, ya dick?!"
"Hello, I am back!" Caboose walked by, having went somewhere earlier. "And I found new friends!" He pointed to a group of Bob-ombs he just happened to bring.
"Caboose, where did you find those?!" Church asked in panic.
"Oh I found them just walking about their day. And when I asked for their help, they said yes and followed me here! Now we can free Tucker!" Caboose proclaimed.
"Yeah, by blowing me up, dumbass! I'll get killed!" Tucker yelled.
"Alright, my new friends, charge!" Caboose said as the Bob-ombs charged, slowly, towards Tucker and Church.
"Oh god, not like this!" Tucker cried.
"Well it was nice knowing ya!" Church said as he started to walk away.
"You're leaving me behind?! Ah, you backstabbing cockbite!"
"Hey, there is no way that I'm gonna die again." Church said, but ended up tripping down. "Oof!" Church attempted to get back up, but the Bob-ombs got to close at that point. "Oh man… this is gonna…"
BOOM
"HUUUUUUUURT!"
The smoke cleared, as Church was now in his "ghost" form while Tucker was freed, but he was sprawled on the ground, his leg twitching in the air. "Hooray! It worked!" Caboose said. "…Hey, where did my friends go?"
"God fucking dammit…" Church grumbled, sitting on his corpse in annoyance.
Okay, so I think Ironwood's actions in Vol. 8 as of late affected me more than it should have. I was just gonna keep it this way and have Ironwood realize he's been a moron sometime later down the line. But a friend on Discord went out of his way and made this for me. At first, I was hesitant, but the more scenes he added, I was like "Ah screw it. Let's do it!"
Much better than my other idea I had... which was like Sienna calling Ironwood out for his BS, then knocking him out before dragging him to Beacon where she, Ozpin and Glynda would have talked some sense into him. Another friend pointed out that knocking him out would have made things worse.
So here we are! A much better version of the ending of the last chapter. And it's canon, so yay!
Also, I forgot to add Sheele into the group last night because I was looking up Kurome's name because I couldn't remember her name for the life of me, so hey, Sheele's here now! Yay!
Anyway, take care y'all!
