A month after their arrival, Faithful sat watching as Alanna worked out yet another knot in her loom.

"It's harder than it looks," Alanna said to the cat.

I think it's good for you to learn some patience this way, Faithful responded.

Alanna barked a laugh, "Trying to train Ishak, Kourrem, and Kara is giving me all of the training in patience I could ever want."

Nonsense. You saved them from their lives as outcasts. They worship you.

"Perhaps the girls do, but not Ishak. He reminds me of Thom in so many ways. He's so attracted to power, and it scares me."

Much like Thom indeed.

Just then, Jonathan walked into the tent and collapsed next to her.

"Remind me why I thought being the Voice was a good idea?" He asked her.

"Because you want to be a great king or something silly like that," Alanna replied, still focused on her weaving.

"Oh, right, that. Silly of me indeed." He eased the loom away from her with his foot while wrapping an arm around her waist. "Come here and let me hold you. I just want to forget about everything for a while."

"I can't, Jon. My apprentices will be back any minute now for their afternoon lesson."

"Skip it," he commanded. "Tell them to go practice on their own or something."

"That's exactly what I'm afraid they'll do if I don't train them fast enough. This is important."

"Fine," Jonathan said irritatedly.

Alanna extricated herself from his grasp and looked at him in disbelief. "I am exhausted from keeping Ali Muktahb alive so that you have time with him, and that's on top of training my apprentices and now meeting with all these other Bazhir mages that keep appearing. I would love nothing more than to lie around, but not all of us have that option."

Jon appeared unmoved, so she walked out of the tent to find her apprentices.


An hour later, she sat down and watched from a slight distance while Ishak, Kourrem, and Kara stood by the river, practicing moving the water with their magic.

Myles walked up and sat beside her. "Keeping a safe distance?" he asked.

"I'm not particularly in the mood to get splashed when Ishak decides to show off, or Kourrem loses control," Alanna explained with a small smile.

Myles laughed. "I can't wait to tell Eleni that her apprentice has taken on apprentices. She'll be so proud!"

"Do you miss her?" Alanna asked.

"Very much," Myles said. "So much so that I've decided that I don't want to live without her any longer. I plan to rectify that when I get back."

Alanna smiled broadly at him. "That's wonderful, Myles. You both deserve to be happy."

"Of course, I still have to convince her," Myles said.

"That'll be no problem. What woman could resist your charms?" Alanna asked teasingly.

"Well, I'm certainly no Prince Jonathan," Myles said slyly. "Has he proposed yet?"

Alanna sighed. "No, but he's made it clear that he wants to. I'm just not sure how much longer I can keep stalling him."

"Do you want to marry him?" Myles asked.

"Part of me wants to, but another part of me is terrified of that life," Alanna said honestly. "And he's starting to show me this spoiled side of him that I've never noticed before. But at the same time, it's Jonathan. For most of my life, I've been by his side or fighting to get back to his side. I feel like that's where I belong, but just...not like this."

"Do you love him?" Myles asked.

"Yes, I love him. That's why I'm so conflicted," Alanna confessed.

"Then my best advice is to be honest with him," Myles said. "In fact, I think it may be your duty to the kingdom to be honest with him."

Alanna looked at him in surprise.

"With Roger gone, Jonathan has no clear successor. Roald likely has a long life ahead of him, but nothing is guaranteed, and our Prince has a taste for danger. He needs an heir. You know this. Many of the nobles have started to grumble that their majesties should have arranged a marriage for him years ago."

Myles didn't miss the look of panic that washed over Alanna's face.

"Not in a hurry for children?" he asked.

Alanna shook her head.

"I'm sorry to put pressure on you this way, but if we were to lose both the King and Jonathan, it would almost certainly mean civil war. Marriage is usually a deeply personal decision, but where Jon is concerned, it's a matter of state."

Suddenly a wave crashed into them, soaking them through.

"Sorry!" Kara yelled as the other two apprentices glared at her as they rang water from their clothes.

"So much for a safe distance," Myles said with a chuckle.

"Well, that concludes today's lesson," Alanna said, and they all headed back to their tents to find dry clothes.

Jonathan was still in her tent when she arrived, but he was sitting up studying notes he took from Muktahb's lessons. He laughed when he saw her.

"I remember when Roger first introduced us to water magic," he said. "We all managed to get soaked for at least three lessons before we got the hang of it."

Alanna smiled at the memory. "We should have known he was evil when he made us do those lessons in March!"

Jonathan laughed and began to help her into dry clothes. "You know I appreciate everything you do for the tribe and for me," he said quietly into her ear, "even if I'm not always the best at showing it."

"I know," she said.

"Good. It's almost time to commune with the Voice." He kissed her softly then left her alone and wishing he wasn't so damn charming.


Alanna spent the rest of the evening thinking about what Myles had said. By the time the fires were out and Jonathan came into her tent, she had resolved to get the conversation over with.

"Jon, can we talk about the future?" She asked carefully.

"Sure," he said as he made himself comfortable next to her. "What about it?"

"I had a talk with Myles today about your responsibilities and about your future wife's responsibilities-"

"You mean your future responsibilities?" Jon cut in flirtatiously.

"That's just it. I'm not ready to have children yet, and you need heirs as soon as possible."

"I think everyone feels that way about having children at first," Jonathan said gently. "I certainly do, but an advantage to being a royal is that you do have a lot of help."

"It's not just that. I'm blunt. I say what I think, and I have a temper. I'd be a disaster in tense situations with important people."

"It's part of your charm," Jonathan said, but his voice lacked its usual confidence.

"And I'm not ready to give up healing or being a warrior. I'm good at those things, and I'd be miserable if I had to stop."

"So, are you trying to tell me that marrying me would make you miserable?" Jonathan asked gruffly.

"That's not what I meant."

"Is this because I was grumpy with you earlier?" Jonathan asked. "I am sorry about that, but you're overreacting."

"No, this has nothing to do with that."

"Is it because you prefer George?" Jon shot at her.

"What? No!" Alanna stood up and began to pace, trying to control her frustration.

"I couldn't marry him for much the same reasons I'm afraid to marry you," she said after a moment. "I don't judge his world, but I don't truly fit into it either. And marrying the king of thieves would bar me from ever again being a part of your world. The Provost would never let me freely enter Court again.

"I love you. I would do anything for you - die for you. You know that. But I would make a terrible royal. You know that too, if you're honest. I would have to give up some of the best parts of myself to play a role that I couldn't be more ill-suited for."

Alanna tried hard to hold back the tears she felt forming. "I've had the love of a king and a king-to-be. But accepting either of you would limit who I am and force me to be something I'm not, and I'm not willing to do that. Perhaps that makes me silly or selfish. I don't know, but I can't change it!"

"So what do you want, Alanna?" Jonathan asked tersely.

"What I've always wanted," Alanna said as the first tear fell. "To be a knight and do great deeds in your service. Or to do great deeds in your service without being a knight if I must. And maybe that just means being alone."

Jonathan rubbed his temples for a moment before reaching for her hand and pressing it to his forehead. "Forgive me. I should never fault you for being honest with me. I've just been so sure that after everything we've been through together - I know I need to settle down and produce heirs, and I had begun to think of you as a sure thing. But I understand. I don't like it, but I understand."

Jon stood up hesitantly and wiped away her next tear that fell with a gentle hand.

"So what does that mean for us?" he asked.

"That I love you, but I don't want to get in the way of you marrying for the good of Tortall," she replied.

"Will you continue to be mine for as long as we're out here?" he asked.

Alanna nodded.

"Then let's just keep things the way they are until we leave, alright? And then we'll go from there."

He opened his arms to her, and she went gladly into his embrace. "Alright,' she said quietly.


"I didn't bring you here to teach them fireballs," Alanna said testily.

"What's the point of having magic if you can't do exciting things like fireballs?" Ishak asked.

"He's got you there," Jonathan said.

"Fine, we can do a few fireballs, but then back to shielding spells," Alanna said.

All three apprentices whooped. The girls immediately looked embarrassed by their outburst, but Ishak continued to grin.

Jonathan sent a sapphire ball of fire into the desert in a spiraling pattern that had them completely enraptured. He then showed Alanna's apprentices how to create their own. Before long, they had a small crowd watching the somewhat comical and somewhat terrifying result of amateur fire magic.

"This is foolishness!" said a visiting shaman behind Alanna. "This is what comes of having a woman teach the shaman's art."

Alanna whirled to face him. "You think this is foolish? What was foolish is that no one was training these three young people until this woman came along. This tribe is lucky that they weren't blasted off the map!"

Jonathan, seeing that both were ready to continue to escalate the argument, interjected cooly, "As it happens, she is indulging my whim. She is the best teacher they could have hoped for. I understand your concern, but I assure you both Lady Alanna and I have defense spells on the tips of our tongues should anything go awry."

The man harrumphed and walked away while Alanna rolled her eyes.

Jonathan watched her thoughtfully until a loud bang issuing from Ishak's direction took his attention.

"Look, Prince Jonathan, I did it. Now that I know how, I bet I can make one twice that size!" Ishak exclaimed.

Jonathan laughed, "I'm sure you can, but it's time to get back to shielding."

"Is there more you can teach us later?" Ishak asked. "I bet if I just knew more, I could be the most powerful shaman there ever was!"

Jonathan smiled. "Listen to Lady Alanna and learn the basics first. Then we'll see."


"Ishak adores you," Alanna said to Jonathan when they were sitting with Myles a couple of days later. "He's asked no less than four times when you would come to train with us again."

Jonathan laughed warmly. "I like his spirit."

"I worry about him, though," Alanna continued. "I can't be sure that he won't try something reckless when I'm gone. And if we learned anything from our welcome party, just passing the test to become a shaman doesn't mean someone will be a good one."

"Are you just mother-hen worried, or sincerely worried?" Myles asked.

"Every day I grow more sincerely worried," Alanna admitted, "but there's not much I can do about it."

"Is his power that dangerous?" Myles asked.

"Dangerous enough. He'll never be competition for Thom, but his gift and his determination are strong enough that he could be quite formidable."

"Should we send him to the City of the Gods?" Myles asked thoughtfully.

"That's an idea," Alanna said.

"Would he be willing to go?" Jonathan asked. "All he's ever known is here."

Alanna smiled wide as an idea occurred to her. "He would if the right person suggested it to him. This could work out very well. Jon, if you convinced him and then let it be known that you're his patron, he could do very well at the City of the Gods. In six or so years, you would have a powerful mage in your service that understood both the Bazhir and the Northerners."

Myles nodded approvingly. "It's a good plan."

"So mote it be," Jonathan said." Just let me know when you think the best time is to ask him."

Again the Prince found himself watching Alanna thoughtfully as she mused about how best to approach Ishak. She was no polished courtier, that was for sure, but she was shrewder than she gave herself credit for.