The Malibu mansion of their drug cartel financier target reminded Chuck of the kind of place he'd always seen himself - or Bryce - living in after they inevitably made their millions post-graduation. Unfortunately, while their covers were partners in a large international technological conglomerate (or something along those lines), neither he nor his former roommate were quite up to living this kind of lifestyle. A multi-million dollar mansion filled with beautiful bikini-clad women probably would put a crimp in the whole superspy, Intersect thing.
"Stop tugging on your suit," Bryce sighed, pausing a few paces from the pool filled with the aforementioned beautiful women.
"I feel like something out of Miami Vice," Chuck muttered under his breath, shooting a glare at Bryce. His friend, as usual, looked carelessly handsome in his beach formal attire, while Chuck felt horribly visible in his linen suit. His very see through linen suit.
"I don't know, Chuck," Bryce teased, because he was the worst. "At least it answers the age old question."
"Huh?"
Bryce nodded down towards Chuck's lower body, a wicked smirk dancing over his lips. "Boxers or briefs."
God, Chuck hated him sometimes. He really did. "You knew that at Stanford."
Bryce laughed, clapping Chuck on the shoulder. "I knew a lot of things at Stanford, buddy," he grinned, a hint of seriousness creeping into his gaze. Chuck knew if he turned, he'd see Sarah and Carina entering the back garden. "Now, speaking of things to know, see that guy over there?"
Bryce gently maneuvered Chuck so he saw a man sitting on the edge of the pool, four beautiful women fawning over him. Well, when he said 'man'...
"Are you talking about SeƱor Wookiee?"
Bryce let out one of the full belly laughs he so rarely made, Chuck noticing Sarah and Carina glancing over in question.
"What about Chewbacca's ugly cousin?"
"That's Peyman Alahi," Bryce murmured, mirth sparkling along his voice. "The guy who's diamond we're planning on liberating."
"So what do you need from me?" Chuck asked, trusting that Bryce hadn't brought him here just for a giggle.
"Security sweep," was his answer. Bryce nodded towards the drinks area, his hand sweeping out in a questioning gesture.
.
They wandered around for a bit, Chuck following Bryce's instructions and limiting himself to subtle sweeps of his gaze rather than outright staring at the security. "I count six SVB-54 explosion-protected security cameras with infrared surveillance," Chuck murmured, nodding towards one as subtly as he could. "We sell them at the spy shop in the Buy More Plaza."
"You have a spy shop and you never told me?" Bryce took a sip of whatever watered down substance he'd chosen to pass as alcohol. "Ouch."
"Like you need any more spy things," Chuck snorted. "I've seen the inside of your apartment." Casey had actually whimpered at some of the tech Bryce kept in his safe.
Bryce feigned hurt. "See if I share my special access to pre-release video games with you," he threatened, and Chuck almost believed him.
Still, "The CIA has early access to video games?"
"The CIA, me," Bryce shrugged impishly. "It's a grey area."
"What's a grey area?" Carina asked, merging seamlessly into their ambling group, Sarah at her side.
Bryce didn't miss a beat. "Whether stealing this diamond is actually illegal."
Sarah offered a slight shrug. "Orders are orders," she said, Bryce's lips thinning minutely. "But, let's take a walk up to the house. We need Chuck to scan the security there."
.
.
Wandering up a greenery lined path, Chuck caught sight of more cameras. "Thermal imaging cameras. North and west walls."
Sarah peered at the house, a considering frown on her lips. "Someone really doesn't want us getting in there."
Carina seemed to take that as a challenge, picking the lock to the sliding door. Bryce and Sarah shared a loaded look, communicating something to do with trouble before reluctantly following the chaotic DEA agent into the house. From the inside of her purse, Carina pulled a hacking device, opening the door to a room full of valuable things.
"There you are," Carina purred, eyes fixed on the diamond.
"I really think we should go now," Sarah urged, Carina utterly ignoring her.
Chuck was all up for leaving. He really, really didn't want to be involved with the whole stealing a really valuable diamond from a really dangerous, low budget wookiee thing.
Bryce stayed by the door, tension coming off him in waves. "I think it's a little late for that," he commented, sounding almost bored.
The sound of guns cocking filled the air moments later.
Once he could look past the machine guns pointed at him, Chuck shot a 'what the hell man?' glare at his assigned protector. Bryce shrugged a shoulder minutely, relaxing insouciantly back into the wall like he owned the place. His eyes met Chuck's, lightly prompting.
Chuck vaguely recognised the arrogance. It was the cocky frat boy routine. Something neither he nor Bryce had ever pulled off even when they were cocky frat boys. But, he supposed, a multimillionaire tech mogul would have reason to view the world as his possession, so Chuck tried to look a little less terrified and a little more bored with the world.
He wasn't entirely sure it worked, but then again he wasn't entirely sure it needed to. Not with how much attention Chewie was paying to Sarah and Carina.
"You like my diamond?" Alahi asked, his gaze directed at Sarah.
Sarah froze a moment, then her face subtly transformed. "Oh... Yeah. It's really pretty."
Alahi took a few steps into the room, shaking his head at them. "You're not supposed to be here."
"Oh, I'm really, really sorry," Sarah pouted, Chuck knowing it had to be killing her to play it this way. "The door was unlocked." She shared a look with Carina, Chuck betting that she was telling her to follow her play or face the consequences. "Who are you?"
"Pretty girls call me Peyman," Alahi replied.
"Hi Peyman," Carina cooed.
"Hi, Peyman," Sarah echoed.
Chuck mumbled along with them, trying his best to pretend he didn't exist.
"I'm Carina," Carina continued, brightly playing along with the cover story. "This is Sarah, and this is our brother Chuckie."
Chuck raised his glass in greeting. "Yo."
"A brother?" Alahi questioned suspiciously. "My lucky day." He nodded towards Bryce. "Another brother?"
"No," Carina smirked wickedly. Bryce narrowed his eyes in subtle warning. "He's Chuckie's partner. Brycie."
Bryce's eyes hardened to shards of ice, glaring furiously at the DEA agent while he continued to smile idly. Chuck wasn't sure if Bryce objected to the cover - which Chuck himself had leapt to once - or the cutesy nickname.
Alahi glanced between Bryce and Chuck, then shrugged. "More good news for me."
Carina and Sarah stepped up to Alahi, his arms covering their shoulders. Bryce sidled around the room and stood, imposing, at Chuck's side.
"So," Carina wondered, putting her hand up to the diamond. "What would I have to do to get this on my finger?"
"Ask Tarfful for permission?" Bryce whispered into Chuck's ear. Chuck bit his lip hard to stop from laughing.
Fortunately, Alahi was oblivious to Bryce. "It is said that he who owns the Nadan-I-Noor rules the world."
"What if, like, someone tried to steal it," Carina asked with overblown innocence.
"It's impossible to steal," Alahi informed them, Chuck hoping for a villain monologue. The kind where the bad guy tells them everything they need to know. He wasn't disappointed. "If touched, the vault will seal itself off, the gas will fill the room, and my security team would eliminate the threat."
Carina and Sarah giggled, feigning awe at Alahi's brilliance. Chuck personally just felt queasy.
Alahi continued on, flirting with female agents, and Bryce moved in closer again. "I think I'm going to throw up and I don't have to fawn over him."
Carina stayed by the door, but Chuck barely noticed. His attention was fixed on the flash that overtook him when he saw the plinth the diamond was resting on.
Bryce hovered in front of him, concerned but just about hiding in. "You okay, buddy?"
"Our furry friend back there failed to mention one fairly significant security detail," he muttered, Bryce biting back a curse. "20,000 volts of electricity protects the diamond."
"Well, that's a problem," Bryce sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"How are you going to solve it?" Carina asked, now much closer to them.
"That's not his job," Bryce glared, Carina pouting and muttering about interagency cooperation.
"I might use compressed air to knock it off the pedestal," Chuck offered, just wanting to get this over with and go home.
Carina brushed past him, picking up the fire extinguisher.
"Carina, stop," Bryce glared, stepping in front of Chuck.
"No can do, sweetie," she smiled. "I'm improvising." Then, before anyone - Chuck - could say that this was a very bad idea, she turned on the extinguisher and blew the diamond right off it's stand.
Chuck dived for the rock, catching it from the air with some sort of grace he imagined must come from the Intersect (or proximity to Bryce), Carina and Bryce already knocking over plinths to keep the vault doors from closing on them. They slid under the door, the agents taking down the security while Chuck tried not to drop the diamond.
.
.
Once outside, Bryce let Sarah and Carina take point, his presence a solid point at Chuck's back. "This was a very bad idea," he announced, stepping aside as Bryce punched a guard into unconsciousness and took his gun in the same move. "And that was cool."
"Thank you," Bryce grinned, shooting him a wink over his shoulder.
"Beach!" Sarah called, pointing to their extraction point.
Bryce pushed Chuck ahead of him, urging him onward. Chuck was getting pretty tired of running, but he managed not to fall on his face as the path changed to slippery sand.
Sarah and Carina emerged just behind them, Sarah nodding at Bryce in a way Chuck guessed meant Casey was on his way. Carina grabbed the diamond bag from Chuck's hand, running off towards the ocean and the hidden jet ski she had clearly planted there before the mission started.
Bryce raised his gun, pointing it at her back. Sarah shook her head, pushing the barrel down towards the sand. "That won't do any good, Bryce," she chided, though Chuck had to admit she didn't sound particularly thrilled about stopping him.
"Uh, guys?" Chuck called, nodding towards the two armed guards who were heading right for them.
Casey, in a very large car, stopped just ahead of them. "Get in!" Casey yelled, shooting at their pursuers. Bryce shot towards them too, buying them time to climb into the car.
"Bryce," Chuck snapped, leaning out the window. "Get in the damn car!"
Bryce glanced towards the ocean, where Carina was just a speck on the horizon. Frustration flickered on his face before he slipped into the back seat with Sarah.
There followed a very awkward car ride, where Bryce crouched behind the centre console while Sarah got changed into her Wienerlicious uniform. Then, Carina called to gloat, Casey tracked her using some NSA magic, and Chuck tried to remember that Bryce was doing his job not trying to give him a heart attack.
He really needed to get better at doing that.
"I can't believe you nearly got yourself shot again!"
"The operative word is nearly, Chuck," Bryce replied, doing a very good job of not sounding like Chuck was frustrating him. "And, as much as I wish it were otherwise - for your peace of mind, if not the excruciating agony - it is, regrettably, a part of being a CIA agent."
"And you thought that was a good idea?"
"I was twenty," Bryce protested, wide eyed and a little frustrated. "They offered to turn me into James Bond and let me play with guns!"
Casey inclined his head, silently conceding his point.
Chuck had to admit that, at twenty-one (and a little bit right now, if he was honest), it would have been pretty hard to say no to. But, didn't he get that Chuck worried about him? "Your health, Bryce."
"To date, they haven't done anything to me I haven't bounced back from," Bryce shrugged, and if Chuck couldn't see the shadows in his eyes, he might have dropped it.
Also, Casey really had to stop being helpful. "It's true," the NSA agent confirmed. "They call him the human cockroach."
Bryce shot him a baleful glare. "Not helping, Casey." Sincere, he turned to Chuck. "I never had your dreams, Chuck. So, when I got offered a chance at an exciting life, I took it. And, yes, the CIA have made me sacrifice a lot, but I love my job and that's not going to change just because my best friend is worried about me."
.
The conversation stalled until Casey and Sarah had dropped them off at the Buy More. Chuck took a five minute break and found his friend in front of the television wall. Bryce, as if he knew Chuck was coming, held out his travel mug. Chuck took it and they wordlessly sipped coffee for a long minute.
"You scared me," Chuck admitted, looking at the nature programme Morgan had chosen for the wall.
"I know," Bryce sighed, turning a little to face him. "And we both know I'll continue to do so. As will Sarah and Casey. But, we're the best the CIA and the NSA have. Not much is going to take us down."
Chuck could tell Bryce really believed it, that he wasn't just trying to reassure Chuck.
Then, his best friend's nerdy side came out. His free hand brushed at the fabric over his heart, grinning. "Puny bullets."
"You, my friend, are a nerd," Chuck pronounced, hiding his laughter in a sip of his coffee.
Bryce grinned, bright and easy. "You knew that at Stanford."
Chuck wasn't entirely sure that he was quite okay with Bryce putting himself into danger on a daily basis, but at least he was doing it here where Chuck could see he was okay and not somewhere dark and unpronounceable where Chuck wouldn't have the slightest idea.
"I did," he agreed, realising he'd been staring at Bryce without saying something for a possibly uncomfortably long time. "Just glad you're still a nerd."
Bryce grinned again, possibly a little softer. "Go home, Chuck, and stay in tonight."
"No video games?" Chuck asked, frowning.
Bryce looked almost gentle. "With Carina gone, I think Morgan could do with a little one on one time with his best friend."
Chuck paused, touched. "You sure?"
Bryce nodded once. "But, when the video games and crying gets old, come round to mine. I've been thinking about an Original Trilogy marathon all afternoon."
.
.
Chuck tried everything he could to keep Morgan's mind off the disappointment in his relationship with Carina. He chatted about work, but was met with silence. He offered critiques on Harry Tang, again silence. He even set Morgan perfectly up for an aside about Bryce, but nothing.
"You're not listening to me, are you?" Chuck realised, glancing back at the depressed figure of his friend.
"Sorry," Morgan offered unapologetically. "I stopped listening to you when it wasn't about Carina. And how she kissed me. And then dumped me."
Chuck frowned, almost certain something was firing in his mind. "You kissed Carina?"
"Yeah man. At her hotel, on the lips."
Chuck felt his jaw drop. Not that Morgan getting a kiss was a shock, exactly. It was just the whole hotel thing, and the on the lips thing.
"Her loss," Morgan pronounced, tossing his can of grape soda to the floor.
"Yeah, it is," Chuck agreed, offering to go get Morgan another round. Morgan agreed and mentioned something about a new game in his bag, if Chuck minded getting it.
.
.
No sooner was Chuck in the kitchen, staring at the diamond bag that had just popped out of Morgan's satchel, then he heard his front door open gleefully.
"Chuck!" Bryce called, laughter in his voice. "Sarah just sent me an early Christmas present!"
"Betcha it's not as good as mine," Chuck called back, grinning at his friend.
Bryce cocked his head, silently daring Chuck to prove it.
Chuck poured the diamond out on to his hand, holding it up to the light. Then flashed. "The diamond belongs to an Afghani terrorist group," he announced, shocked. "It's way, way more dangerous than we were told."
Bryce deployed a vicious string of Klingon curses, good mood washed away. "This is why I hate spy agencies," he glared, Chuck slipping the diamond back into it's pouch. "They only ever tell you half the damn story."
Chuck passed Bryce, stopping off to deliver pizza and soda to Morgan. Then he came back and tried to smile encouragingly. "What's your good news?"
"I'll show you later," Bryce sighed, fleetingly looking as exhausted as Chuck felt. "Call Sarah and update her."
Sarah barely even let Chuck get his explanation out before cutting him off. "Chuck," she said, voice deadly serious. "Find Carina and tell her to bring me the diamond."
"Bryce," Chuck called, looking around for his friend. "We need to find Carina." Chuck felt himself freeze as a slender figure in a balaclava appeared in front of him. "I really don't have much, but feel free to take whatever you want."
The figure gestured for the diamond in Chuck's hand.
"I can't give you this."
"He really can't," Bryce agreed, his words accompanied by the sound of a gun safety disengaging. "Now, Agent Miller, I really don't want to have to shoot someone in Chuck's apartment but I will if you don't back off."
Chuck glanced at Bryce, pointing at the figure. "That's Carina?"
Bryce said nothing, merely gesturing with his gun at the figure's head.
Carina removed the mask and glared at the pair of them. "Give me the diamond!"
"No can do," Chuck declined. "We need your help to rescue Sarah."
"What's wrong with Sarah?" Bryce demanded, not taking his eyes - or his gun - off Carina.
"I think she's in trouble."
Carina rolled her eyes. "Sarah's fine. She's a very resourceful girl."
"She's also your friend," Chuck snapped, watching Bryce's finger twitch ever so slightly. "And she saved your life in Pakistan. So, are you helping us or not?"
"If your attack dog lowers his gun."
"I think I'll keep it, just in case you change your mind and try to screw us over again," Bryce said, undercurrent of steel in his perfectly calm words.
.
.
If Chuck didn't know exactly how little Bryce and Carina trusted one another, he might have thought they'd been a team forever. They prepared in almost the same way, stocking up on guns and knives in the parking lot of the hotel. The only minor snag was when Carina told Bryce to act as backup, the CIA agent pointedly tapping his gun and reminding her that Chuck wasn't to leave his side. Chuck reinforced that point by keeping Bryce between him and Carina. There was something about the DEA agent that just scared him - and not in the "totally hot, totally scary competent" way that Bryce and Sarah scared him.
Sarah was cuffed, sitting in a chair with a gun pointed at her head. Alahi, holding the gun, removed the safety, smiling pleasantly as Bryce, Chuck and Carina walked up.
"You have what I want?" Alahi asked, pointing the gun closer to Sarah.
"Maybe," Carina shrugged. "Maybe I pawned it for front row tickets to Justin Timberlake."
"And maybe I sold it for an unbelievably in-depth tour of Skywalker Ranch," Bryce added, glancing at Chuck out of the corner of his eye.
Nerd, Chuck thought fondly. And then he thought, holy shit, Chewbacca's going to shoot Sarah.
"Why do you always have to provoke people?" Sarah sighed, glaring at Carina.
"I want to see the diamond," Alahi demanded, Chuck all but fumbling the stone out of the pouch at Bryce's nod. "Now give it to me."
Carina knocked the stone out of Chuck's hand, daring Alahi to come and take it from her. Alahi, helpfully, informed them that everyone in the room was with him. And likely armed too.
"What are you going to do?" Alahi asked Carina. "Fight them all, all by yourselves?"
Bryce shrugged, a hint of the reckless and ruthless spy that worried Chuck so much peeking through. "I've had worse situations."
"And they're not alone," Sarah added, speaking in a language Chuck didn't understand with Carina.
It must have been a cue though, Bryce pushing Chuck to the floor and then joining the female agents in unleashing hell on Alahi's men. In the chaos, Chuck grabbed the diamond again, watching in awe as Bryce (and Sarah and Carina) moved elegantly through their hand-to-hand.
Chased by an angry guard, Chuck locked himself in the business centre and hurriedly readied the diamond to be FedEx-ed to safety. Casey came in, brandishing what appeared to be some of a bedhead, and knocked the angry guard unconscious before he could do something bad like shoot Chuck. Unfortunately, Chuck dropped the diamond package down the priority mail chute, but he hoped FedEx would at least deliver promptly.
Bryce hurried in moments later, nodding gratefully at Casey. "Nice to see you with your pants on, Casey," Bryce smirked, tossing Chuck his phone. On the screen was a picture of Casey, cuffed to that very headboard, wearing nothing but his undershirt and boxers. "What do you think, Chuck? Have we found our Christmas card?"
"Where can I buy a basket of knives for Sarah?" Chuck wondered, Bryce's grin promising that he knew a place.
Casey grumbled something under his breath and stalked out, leaving the two of them alone again.
"You eaten yet, Bryce?"
The CIA agent hummed, shaking his head. "No."
"Pizza?"
"Sounds good to me," Bryce grinned, steering them out of the hotel and away from all the tedious cleanup.
Tomorrow the diamond would arrive in Washington, Carina would probably leave for parts unknown, and Chuck would undoubtedly be in fear for his life some other way. But, for now, they had survived another dangerous mission - none of them had been shot - and they could celebrate. They deserved to celebrate.
"And while we get the pizza," Chuck announced, bumping lightly into Bryce. "You're telling me all about how you get pre-release video games while the rest of us have to slum it and wait for release day."
Bryce shot him one of his sparkling grins. "Buddy, I would," he said, all earnestness. "But it's classified."
"Oh don't give me that, Larkin," Chuck groaned, rewarded with Bryce's laughter. His friend had never had a problem with Chuck knowing classified secrets. It was just another of their games. But, he knew, before the night ended, he'd get that story.
