Chapter 1: Salvation
…
"H…"
Dizzying… How dizzying…
Sh...e could hardly… form words in her mind…
Her th...oughts...had bee...n… scatt..ered…..
And… and…
Thoughts… actions… she was… beginning to make sense of it…
Her sense of self… was beginning to reform…
And slowly… slowly… gradually… over time…
She felt… something else.
Physical. Something… she could touch.
All over her. It was overwhelming; Torturous, frightening…
Fulfilling. She was… receiving the other half of her being.
Sharp jabs of pain from all over her… body. That's what it was…
A body… she was… in a physical body…
She was… she was…
…
…
…
…
(Queue 'Remember Who You Are' by Anthony Greninger)
"Tch. Another fucking squirrel!"
"Eeeeeek!"
As Rulf stared into the black orbs of the squirrel's eyes, he felt a strong urge to twirl it by its tail and fling it as far as he could. The morbid thought passed, leaving him with a twinge of guilt.
Sighing, he stuck the squirrel in the neck with his knife; It let out a cry of pain before falling limp.
While turning the squirrel's body upside-down to drain its blood, he glanced at his surroundings- ensuring he wasn't being stalked. This forest, in particular, was bad-mouthed by many travelers he'd met in recent days. Though perhaps he started to realize those legends were more myth-like once he actually got here.
It seemed to be just a regular-ass forest.
…Patter-patter-patter-patter-
And now it was raining. Great. Just fucking great.
"Uuuggghhh…" Rulf sighed deeply, plopping down into the dirt, which was slowly turning into mud by the second. "What in Hekk do I even do from here…?"
He sat there, contemplating to himself as the rain swept in lightly, almost as if gently welcoming itself into the atmosphere. He wanted to look up at the sky, but the tree foliage was dense in this area. He sighed, resigning himself to staring down the long dirt trail ahead of him.
In the distance, he could see the sweeping valleys of green, the open night sky, the subtle liveliness of the distant landscape…
And still, he felt miserable.
"Fuck." Rulf muttered angrily; He felt deeply frustrated that he couldn't enjoy the world around him as much as he intrinsically desired to. It was as if he were held back by some issue of the mind, some part of him suppressing his full enjoyment of things…
Perhaps it was the same feeling that prodded his overwhelming loneliness...
With no particular goal ahead, he thought to himself. He sat on that little patch of dirt, thinking to himself a great many things- about his situation, the money he needed just to get by, the potential risk of this new path he'd chosen…
And he also had many revelations.
He sat back in contentment. That was what he was looking for. Peace of mind.
In retrospect, his last job -while very profitable- was also exceedingly dangerous, immoral and, above all, chaotic. But it had been all he'd known to do his entire life.
To rob others. To steal. To scrounge and scavenge like an animal.
To live like an urchin.
Amidst his work one day, a simple revelation hit him like a brick to the head; and it happened whilst he was robbing some fat, ill-bred noble's son by the road, of all the times.
He knew that with this change of perspective, a whole slew of different challenges would find him- After throwing away a childhood of crime and danger, he wanted to pursue a different goal. One where he would be able to overcome his own faults, find new purpose, and one day be able to call someplace 'home' in this great big realm.
Then and there, he fled the scene of crime, and carried out a new life of relative peace, accepting petty jobs and minor tasks for small coin just to get by. For Rulf, who'd been spending his life in paranoia of the law and other criminals, this was just fine by him.
At last, he could live modestly.
"Erk." Rulf muttered, feeling his stomach growl. He hadn't eaten for a good while, though that was to be expected, considering the new path he was embarking on.
He had nothing to his name; All the money he'd acquired from his robberies had been spent outlandishly on booze and new equipment. This came to mind vividly as he inspected his fine leather coat and bandana, which he'd bought from a tailor in a town long past with his ill-gotten gains.
Rubbing the texture of the bandana, he was pleased to see that it was still in great condition; A quality product, for sure.
Looking back up at the night sky, feeling the rain on his skin… He couldn't help but feel a little joy. At last, he'd freed himself from that nightmare; And felt as if he had self-realized in some sort of cosmic way.
He took off his bandana, unable to remember the last time he'd been so glad to expose his entire face -his last career hadn't given him breathing room (quite literally)- and tucked it into his inner jacket pocket.
Once more, he gazed upwards, at the beautiful cosmic luminescence before him. The shining orbs in the sky were hardly understood by Rulf, but he nonetheless appreciated their infinite beauty. At the end of the day, he knew how incredibly lucky he was to still be alive, after all he'd been through.
And he intended to make the most of it!
CRAAACK!
"HOLY FUuUuUuUuUCK!" Rulf screamed in sheer terror, hearing an otherworldly crackle that deafened his senses- He scrambled about in panic for many moments, as he tried to make sense of the chaos that had just engulfed his surroundings.
For a mere second, Rulf had gained glimpses of another REALITY-
Though it was too quick to take in anything-
Except for an [OMINOUS, UPBEAT SONG PLAYING IN HIS EARS]-
And in the next second, he was left in the aftershock of the unexplainable event; With no words, he looked around, almost catatonically, trying to find whatever entity made that mind-shattering, otherworldly sound; So he could run from it post-haste.
And yet, he saw no threat around him, seemingly; Except for several extremely-precise cuts, varying in sizes, along the trees, the ground, and the foliage; Almost like a giant with an axe came rampaging through the area-
"Ah-"
-He immediately noticed a large, diagonal gash across his torso-
"AAAAAAAHHHH, SSHHHHIIITTTT!"
Rulf fell to his knees cursing loudly as his hands hovered in horror over the giant wound that had just manifested on him; Bleeding began quickly, throwing Rulf into a panic-frightened state. He quickly undid his brown overcoat, taking off his linen shirt and trying his best (and failing) to bandage the wound. Luckily, the cut was shallow; any deeper likely would have bled him out.
After much cursing, shouting and sucking air through his teeth, Rulf managed to slow the bleeding, at least enough that he could focus his mind on what to do next.
Hesitating to make a decision between investigating the source and hauling ass out of there, his mind rushed for an answer as to what had just happened- but his mind went blank whenever he tried to think.
…
"Man, I don't have to deal with this shit!" Rulf muttered anxiously to himself, preparing to head off. To him, it was an obvious decision that should have been done on the spot- Why would he ever try his luck with some force he couldn't comprehend? Especially one that'd just sliced him up.
He sighed in deep relief as he decided on sneaking away from the area, crouching down into the high grass and slinking away. He had just started down a new path, he didn't want to have to deal with-
"H….H….H!...H…."
Rulf stopped in his tracks- He felt horrible guilt as he heard someone; A sound, almost like a cry for help…
His fist tightened in tormented frustration. He didn't want to get involved-
But before he could even finish the sentence in his mind, his body turned around; Almost against his will. He found himself running towards the sound of the pain…
Emerging through dense foliage, he…
Found a girl- no, a young woman lying on the ground. She was-
"Ah, shit!" Rulf muttered in embarrassment, shielding his eyes respectfully as he noticed she was completely bare of clothing. "This has got to be a trap!"
"H...H...H…."
But as he temporarily glanced across her eyes, he noticed...
They were filled with a dreadful fear. An existential type of fear.
"H!...Hhhh!...Hhhh!..."
She's… forcefully exhaling… But why? Is she not able to speak? Rulf thought in concern.
Despite his frantic thinking, he moved forward, using his overcoat and wrapping it around her. His behavior almost confused himself- he was a common street thug only days ago. He'd never found himself doing this for a woman, much less anyone else before.
As he laid the jacket over her quivering body, he found himself captivated by her emerald-green eyes, which shined brightly with deep, unspeakable gratitude. His heart skipped a beat-
"Hhhh!...H…"
"You can stop that now, er… miss. I'm not going to hurt you, I can promise that."
She seemed to calm a bit at his words; It was clear that she registered them. However, she still seemed as if she were in utter shock of her surroundings- everything frightened her to no end...
It was all so alien to her.
(Music: "Wonderland", by Paul-Marie Barber)
Monika…
That was her name...
The trees, the sky, the green grass below her, the raindrops that fell lightly upon her-
All of it reasserted her existence. It was the only thing that kept her sane; The feeling of receiving a physical body was nearly mind-shattering.
Senses, feelings, thought processes,
Touch, taste, sounds,
Pain, terror, paranoia,
Euphoria, joy, ecstasy,
Shapes, realization, understanding,
Deeper, more complex processes were also felt- completely and utterly overwhelming her ability to function;
Skin.
Her flesh.
Her object permanence, her reasoning, her involuntary gasps.
Her thoughts couldn't keep up with everything, but she couldn't be more euphorically enraptured at the moment. She couldn't possibly find words to describe the state of sheer joy she was in right now.
Everything
Felt
Real.
"W-Woah," Rulf muttered in concern, seeing the young woman jolting erratically. "Are you… fuck! What are you doing?! Stop…! Stop spasming! Shit…"
Despite his words of concern, she was hyper-focused on this task; Trying her best to figure out how it felt to physically move-
But as she just barely managed to upright herself, her palm slipped in the wet grass, and she flopped back onto the ground. Her eyes were forced to look upwards, towards-
THE BEAUTIFUL, MAGNIFICENT STARRY NIGHT SKY.
O, it was beyond euphoria!
She couldn't take her eyes off the infinite expanse of shining stars; She was completely entranced by the magnificent, otherworldly view!
Despite her pain, despite the unspeakable discomfort she suffered at this moment, she couldn't help but feel so
J-O-Y-O-U-S-!
A voice disrupted her euphoric experience, and she began involuntarily absorbing all of the information around her; and was immediately bombarded by so many different kinds of feelings, senses, experiences; It was completely overwhelming, to the point that she became nearly catatonic-
She pushed upwards from her palms, uprighting herself; It was the first bodily function she'd finally managed.
Her entire existence, she had been compressed inside data; The only thing she'd had was her consciousness, her sentience… Now, she was given so. Much. More.
"Hey!"
Only a single voice broke through the flood of information slamming into her mind-
She turned her eyes, almost as if her life depended on it, and focused on that face;
His face. The thing that spoke…
The… The… boy. The… The…
"The… The… The…" She muttered, in an inexplicable daze. Rulf stared at her with deeper concern, his eyebrows furrowing.
"...The fuck? Um… Uh, hey. Are you… are you doing okay?" Rulf said in a lowered voice, as if he were trying to say something secretive in a crowd of people; Yet no one was around. He himself was entranced by this girl- She was ethereally beautiful; Her coral-brown hair, though sopping wet, was incredibly smooth-looking and without fault or flaw; Her beautiful emerald eyes seemed calculating, yet filled with a fiery, strong passion that tore through her weak-looking physical state; Her face was deeply appealing to him, a cute button nose and shapely chin-
"STOP!" Rulf chastised himself, not realizing he had just done so out loud- and immediately shocking the girl sitting across from him. "O-Oh, shit, I'm sorry, I di-I didn't mean… damn it."
Surprisingly, his outburst and immediate apology seemed to ease the girl's nerves-
She laughed. A natural, unprecedented noise that completely surprised the both of them. Rulf found himself grinning involuntarily, and quickly erased his expression; This was not the time for laughs, as the girl seemed to react with shock to her own voice and laughter.
"Well, you seem… responsive enough… (Did I use that word right?) Anyhow, I'm, uh, not sure how the Hekk you got here, but I surmise yer ass was thrown out of some demon portal, and… you look exhausted, so I'm gonna carry ya until we can find shelter. Ya got all that?"
But as he finished his sentence, he realized the girl's eyes were completely focused on him- Hanging onto every single syllable he uttered. He had a feeling that she would start breaking down if he stopped talking, at least for the moment.
"...Okay." He continued speaking, trying to come up with things to say on the fly, realizing this girl's mental state relied on his keeping her grounded (as he construed it). "...Uh, so I don't know if you, uh, know any-thing, but- uh, uh… that wasn't meant to be a compliment- I mean, uh, insult- (DAMN IT ALL, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!) *ahem*... This world is quite, erm, big… so, we need to, uh, you know… be careful, a-and cautious and, uh, stuff. So, anyways... I'll stay here with you until you… recover, from whatever ailments you're suffering right now-"
The first minute was complete dumbshit garbage that spilled out of Rulf's mouth, as he desperately tried to keep the girl from becoming disillusioned with reality; She had seemed on the cusp of insanity from the way she violently shook and swiveled her head around in a fervor. However, as the minutes passed, Rulf's conversation became more clear and concise- He began telling tales of himself, of how he left a life of crime to pursue other goals.
He told her of the geography, how the realm was so unimaginably massive that it took weeks to travel between countries by foot; He told her of different cultures he'd encountered in this country alone, let alone the countless other nations that lied beyond the country's lines.
Rumors and tales from other adventurers was mostly what Rulf relied on, as he had never been out of his own country; Forest people from the towering jungly mountains of the Gaulands; Advanced technology and nobility from the proud country of Morvenica; The dazzling armor and military might of the Ascenian Empire; The 'flying warriors' and mysterious floating temples of Gaisia; And even captured monsters from across the Great Sea, in the great Wildlands.
So much that he'd heard, seen, experienced, and nobody to tell; Until now.
He ranted, and rambled, and raved about the many things he'd seen, the people he'd met, the ordeals he'd been through, both good and bad. Never before in his life had he opened himself up so much than as he did in these rain-soaked moments in the open country, giving grandiose tales to a mysterious and half-mad, yet drop-dead beautiful maiden laid bare in the woods.
An experience in of itself- One that he would never tell, of course..
All the while, the girl's eyes shined with inspiration, her mouth set in a permanent, slack-jawed, joyful smile; And she had begun getting accustomed to the wealth of information she was receiving.
Physically, mentally, cosmically.
Though her mind couldn't unwrap it all in that moment, she no longer felt that existential panic that had plagued her for all the time she'd been conscious.
She no longer felt… afraid.
All she wanted was to keep staring into those eyes…
Those big, brown, curious, attentive eyes of his.
Him. A real being. Not a line of code.
A real, living being.
In that singular moment,
Of pure bliss and euphoria beyond measure,
She knew she was
Alive.
