Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer.
Bella
My birthday was coming, I think.
I was not feeling particularly excited to celebrate it - I mean, it was just another ordinary day for me. I remember having cakes, parties and some gifts when I was little, when my parents were still together. But I could not recall a time where the day was celebrated ever since they got divorced and I was taken to live with Rene.
She would say that I was a very understanding girl. I understood that we did not have enough money. I understood that Rene was a disorganized parent that easily forget things. I understood that I had to remind her if I wanted her to remember certain things. I understood that I had to take care of the house, food and such to make sure we were clean, healthy and even… alive.
Charlie was different.
He remembered without being reminded. He would always call me on my birthday. It was usually short and awkward; him just wishing me "Happy Birthday" and me replying "Thanks, Dad." I understood very early on that Charlie did not know how to be a father. I know he cared about me - he would always send me gift cards from the local bookshop in the are that Renne and I were living. When I became old enough and learned that he would actually search on the phone book to find the bookshop and call them to arrange the gift cards to be delivered to me, I was very touched.
And there's Edward.
Ever since we got back from Phoenix, somehow things between us were not like before. We would still spend time with each other - he would come to my bedroom at night, take me to and back from school every day, watch me eat my lunch… But it was just us. No one around us - no Jessica or Mike (though they could be annoying at most times), not even Angela and Ben. Nor Alice. It was like I was getting isolated from the others. Of course, I felt happy that he wanted to spend time with me, plain Bella. And I should also feel grateful as well, as he was Edward Cullen at the end of the day. Still, I somehow felt sad or lonely, even. I missed spending time with the others.
That was the same with his family. Edward hardly took me to see his family nowadays, and I missed them terribly. He told me that the family was busy - with work, hunting, or some quality-couple time… I understood that and I didn't want to be a bother to anyone, so I just kept quiet and try not to think how much I actually longed to see them. Emmett was always so happy to see me and always gave me a tight hug whenever he saw me. Jasper was much quieter and cautious in greeting, compared to Emmett, of course, but he would always have a kind smile on his face and would send me a cocktail of warm feelings. I felt love, kindness, excitement, happiness…
The first time it happened, I was shocked. I had known that Jasper's talent was to do with emotion, but I had never seen it in action. It was one of those times that I was visiting the family after school, when Charlie was out on a night shift. Alice had me in her room for the "Bella Barbie Time," giving my feet a pedicure. It was not my favorite way to spend time, but I still appreciated that Alice wanted to spend some time with me, and she was actually being quite calm. Chatty, for sure, but somehow toned-down, yet acceptable and fitting as it was only Alice, me and Esme at the house. Carlisle asked Edward's help at the hospital - he wanted Edward to read the mind of one of his patients to see how she really broke her arm. Emmett and Jasper were out hunting, and Rosalie was… I actually had no idea as she always made sure not to be around whenever I was visiting, as if even the sight of me was unbearable for her.
"… I'm sure you'll like it, no, I've seen that you'll like it… oh the boys are back and they're about to open the door, so don't get surprised as it'll ruin your pedicure that I've just finished!"
True to Alice's warning, Emmett burst into the room.
"Bella, you're here!"
"Hi, Emmett."
"Bella, you didn't get surprised this time. Alice warned you, didn't she? Alice, why did you do that!? I wanted to see her jump off from the chair! I was going to then catch her! You're no fun!"
"Don't be dramatic! I saw that you would ruin my fresh work of art that I've put a lot of effort in."
"Oh who's being dramatic, now, huh? Are you Van Gogh painting the Midnight in Forks on Bella's tiny feet?"
"I sure was putting as much attention and effort!"
A small giggle escaped from my mouth at that point, though it did not stop them in their argument to see who were being more dramatic. As I was the only child, it was always funny to see those two vampires who were very very old (in human term) arguing like siblings in their teens, or even younger.
Two knocks on the door left open by Emmett took my attention away from the scene in front of me, and I saw Jasper looking into the room, shaking his head.
"What it is this time? Well, actually, don't answer that. I don't need to know. It's probably silly as it could get."
I had to smile at that, and felt a little pity for him - he must have witnessed countless arguments between those two.
"Hi, Bella."
He was smiling from the door, and made no indication that he was going to come inside the room and give a hug (or in this case, catch me off from the chair) like Emmett would. As I was going to return the greeting, I suddenly felt some unusual, but pleasant warmth slowly sweep through me - as gentle as a breeze in the bright summer day. It was refreshing, pleasant and just so peaceful. As if a great weight that I didn't even know I was carrying was lifted. I felt light.
"Darlin'?"
I was brought back to the present and when I opened my eyes that I didn't know I had closed. All I could see was a pair of concerning golden eyes. From the corners of my eyes, I could also see the wrinkles on the forehead, which I thought did not belong there and yearned to smooth them out.
"What…was… did you…? Wow!"
I heard a chuckle and was satisfied to see the wrinkles move from the forehead to the corners of those beautiful golden eyes. But at the same time, I realized that I probably sounded very silly for not being able to say anything coherent.
"Hi, Jasper."
Suddenly feeling shy, I could only manage a quiet greeting. Much to my embarrassment, I could feel my face get hot. His soft chuckle did not help the situation as well.
Ever since that day, it became his way of greeting me, and I have to admit that I liked it very much. It was subtle, yet very powerful in letting me know that the he - or shall I say the family - cared about me. I felt loved and despite the fact that we were different creatures, I somehow belonged with them. It was a new sensation as I had never felt that way with my human family. In return, I tried to feel grateful, happy and some positive feelings, hoping he would catch what I meant.
I probably liked it because it was also our little secret. There was no indication that the others noticed we were greeting each other that way, and Edward definitely had no idea. If he had, I was sure he would have got really upset. He was extremely possessive and it seemed like he would get jealous at very small things - he even growled at Alice once when she wanted to spend some time with me, just the two of us.
He would get irritated and impatient very easily as well, and I felt it was getting worse. He was upset with everything I did - one day I was taking too long to cook for Charlie, or I was taking too little time to cook another day. I was studying too much or too little. I was dressed too lightly, too warm or inappropriately for the weather. And the worst thing was that he made sure to let me know how silly I was, and that he was much more smart, sensible and simply better than me. He would do so initially by just dropping those comments here and there. But it soon turned to making comments on all the things I did, and when I didn't correct myself to the way he wanted, I was met with a murderous gaze.
I did not know what was the right thing to do anymore. Whatever I did, I was wrong, and he knew much better than me. I tried to behave better, to meet his standards, to get his approval. But however much I tried hard, I was never good enough for him. I was just a silly little human Bella - utterly and completely helpless against a vampire.
"Love, what am I going to do with you? You know you need to eat some healthy food."
His voice pierced through my foggy brain and I immediately turned my attention to the present. It was lunch time and we were seated at our usual table in the cafeteria. I could vaguely see that his family was sitting in their table, far behind Edward. I wanted to turn my head and focus on them to see if I could catch their eyes even for a second but I was scared of Edward and the consequence should he catch me in the act.
Words and facial expressions, I could deal. But one day, it escalated to another level and his anger became physical. He would hold my arm, wrist or thigh with too much force. He was controlling his power not to break a bone or draw some blood . But it was still painful and left angry bruises behind. He was very careful not to hurt me where other people could see. Even Charlie, Police Chief with years of experience, did not detect anything.
Charlie… I could not tell anyone about this because I need to protect him.
Edward said he would make sure that Charlie would have a slow and painful death, should I tell a soul. And because of his gift, he added that he will find out. Charlie was a good father. He was even better Police Chief, and certainly does not deserve such end to his life. I must protect him.
"Here, I got you some food already." I took a deep breath and tried to focus on what was in front of me. Today, it was a bowl of salad, yoghurt, apple and a bottle of water.
This was another thing that Edward started that was odd. He would buy my lunch without even asking what I wanted. I had no choice but to eat what he brought on the tray. At the beginning, I tried to protest it - I didn't like that someone was spending money on me - but it was met with an angry look and the comment "Any other girl will be so happy that her caring boyfriend got her food. I know what's good food for you, too." I quickly thanked him as I felt bad and ashamed.
"Thank you, Edward."
I expressed my gratitude quietly and started with the salad. It was dry and plain- I mean, what can we expect as it is just a school cafeteria. I actually liked eating salad, not just because of its healthiness, but because of its versatility. You could do so much with ingredients and dressings. But the salad from the school was just too boring, and if it were up to me, I would have chosen something different. I felt a little envious of the girls eating spaghetti at the next table.
As I popped a cherry tomato, I looked up to give Edward a small smile. He liked it when I showed him how much I appreciated what he is doing to me. It would keep him in a good mood, and even if I messed up later, he might not be so harsh.
"I'm going hunting tonight. I should be back before the school ends tomorrow. You should sort out Charlie's dinner for tomorrow already, so that I can take you to my house right after school."
I tried to hide my smile as I popped another cherry tomato, and made sure to chew slowly. It was very rare for me to be left alone these days. It happened only when he went hunting and he would usually tell me what he expected from me during his absence - not to go out with anyone, not to visit the family…etc.
"What's happening tomorrow?"
I took a risk today, as I thought he was in a good mood following my show of appreciation earlier.
"Silly Bella. It's your birthday. I told you already that the family wants to through a party for you." His tone was light, and he even chuckled briefly - a small sigh of relief escaped from me; he was still in a good mood. I would take another chance.
"They don't have to do that… I don't like having a birthday party…" I had to stop there as I saw him narrow his eyes at me. I felt him put his hand on my thigh, as if to calmly comfort a distressed girlfriend, and he leaned in to whisper into my ear,
"Don't be ungrateful. They're doing it for you. Don't ruin all the preparations that they've put just because it's not what you want. You're not a baby, are you?."
I took a sharp breath as I felt the pain from my thigh - he was squeezing it too much. My vision started to get blurry as my salad turned into mixture of bright marbles colors. I could only nod. Anything to stop the pain.
He leaned back and smiled smugly.
I was not that hungry to start with, but I completely lost the little appetite that I had and even felt nauseous.
"Did you see that?"
"She's so lucky to have him."
"If only I had someone to take care of me like that!"
I heard the girls murmur from the next table and felt hopeless. He was very good at hiding what he was actually doing to me. He proudly told me once that he was able to alter his behavior to suit what the others wanted to see, because of his mind-reading gift.
The bell rung to my great relief, and I stood up with the tray still full of food. I could see Edward's disapproval and I opened my mouth to apologize, but before I could do so, Mike bumped into Edward from behind and he was forced to turn to him, make sure that Mike was okay - all a very easy game for him, pretending to be a gentleman. Mike was taking his sweet time to apologize and make sure that Edward was okay, and I decided to sneak a glance towards the table at the back. I saw Alice and Emmett looking at me with a sad smile. Rosalie looked indifferent as usual, but I saw her eyes narrow after scanning me from top to bottom. And my eyes moved to the last person of the group. I felt his greeting.
Despite his despair in his eyes, I felt peace and it was easier to breath. I'm okay.
***Chapter End***
Thank you for reading! :)
