My name is Natsuki Subaru.

Mom, Dad I was sent to another world, but it isn't all that bad.

It's nothing like Japan! You wouldn't believe it even if you did get to see it with your own eyes.

The moment I opened my eyes to this unfamiliar world, I knew I was in for an adventure like no other. The vibrant colors, mythical creatures, and enchanting landscapes give an entirely different feeling to the bustling streets of Japan.

Gone are the skyscrapers and neon lights, replaced by sprawling meadows and towering mountains that seemed to touch the heavens. It's straight out of all the manga I've ever read. It makes me wonder if those Isekai authors know how it really went down.

I can't deny that I'm homesick. I miss you guys, and while I didn't do much anyway, I do miss our routine. With everything that's happened in my first few days here, it makes me wonder if I'm really cut out for this kind of thing!

Only a few weeks in this world, and I already miss the simple joys that I often took for granted back in Japan. The taste of freshly cooked meals, the running water, and having everything you could possibly need just a short walk away

I kind of wish I would have taken you seriously when you and Dad tried to give me advice on being an adult.

It's going to be one of my biggest regrets.

The people I encountered are definitely weirdos. They possessed a deep sense of honor, resilience, and a strong connection to nature. Their way of life was simple since technology is lacking, and their unwavering kindness and hospitality remind me of the way you'd always extend your hand out to everyone you guys met.

In this world, I possess a unique ability: the power to return from death itself. I don't really understand it, but I guess it's quite the gift, huh? With each death, I would wake up at a specific point in time, armed with the knowledge and experience gained from my previous lives. It's basically one big reset button, and without it, I definitely wouldn't have made it past my first day here.

If it weren't for a certain someone, I would probably be sleeping out on the street. That girl is Emilia, a kind-hearted and very beautiful elf! I know what you're going to say: I need to get over that weird obsession, but I'm dead serious. If I could show you guys, you'd faint from the number of races here.

In Japan, I was just an ordinary high school student, but here, I have the chance to become something more. For the first time, I feel an odd sense of hope, you know?

So, Mom and Dad, please don't worry about me. I may be far away, but I am learning, and I may not have all the answers, but I am determined to make the most of this opportunity.

I promise to stay strong, to keep fighting, and to never forget the values and lessons you've instilled in me. And one day, if I return to Japan, I will come back as a changed person, ready to face any challenge that comes my way.

Until then, please take care of yourselves and know that I love you both dearly.


Emilia could feel her mind blank, just staring mindlessly at the paper. The bustling sound of the busy streets began to drown out as the revelation that Subaru was from another world set in.

She had practically raced down to the city once she got the message that the first translation had been completed. The thought that it might lead them exactly to Subaru was more than enough motivation she could ever need.

"Emi, are you alright?" A concerned friend asked.

"Yeah, sorry, Shiana."

Emilia had always known Subaru felt like the odd one out. There were plenty of times when nobody really got the reference he was trying to make. Knowing that he was from "another world" was like the missing key for it all to make sense.

"Otoshiana" or Shiana for short, her partner in crime, had set up a meeting with Emilia in one of the smaller cafes the city had to offer. The pair sat at a corner table, a sprawl of desserts and cups scattered on the table in front of them.

Shiana spoke up, taking a sip of her tea. "The part about being from another world honestly isn't all that weird. People make claims all the time, but I'm guessing Subaru might be the real deal. Not to mention the language he wrote this in makes it an easier sell."

Emilia held the paper up in the air, reading it over and over again. "Return by death... is something like that even possible? I didn't think a divine blessing could be so un-divine…"

Shiana crossed her arms, letting her head hang. "Well, just because they're divine doesn't mean they're all pretty. But if you ask me… It sounds more like an authority. That's just a hunch, of course."

Emilia crossed her arms in a similar fashion, setting the paper down. "Hmm… Yeah, I was thinking the same thing."

Shiana gave Emilia a blank stare. "Emi… You have no idea what an authority is, do you?"

"Not in the slightest!" She proudly proclaimed.

"Well, I don't blame you; they aren't something you can learn about unless you go out of your way to look for information on them." Shiana said.

Emilia silently nodded, a bit eager to listen.

Shiana would go on to explain the authorities while munching on a few of the desserts.

"Authorities are similar to divine blessings, but they are entirely different things. A divine blessing can be absolutely unfair, like cheating the power system. Take Reinhard, for example; the amount of blessings he has makes him untouchable. But a divine blessing has to follow the rules regardless of how strong it is, and a person is born with them."

Emilia made sure to pay close attention.

"An authority is almost the polar opposite when it comes to the rules. Nobody really knows how to get their hands on an authority outside of the witches cult. They don't follow any logic or reason, and in theory, they could be stronger than any blessing if the person who possesses them has strong compatibility. It's said that an authority grants the user the right to interfere with the world. Cheating death would most certainly fall into that camp, don't you think?"

Something about that last line gave Emilia an odd feeling. It wasn't a bad one or an intense one, but it served to catch her attention and make her a bit uncomfortable.

"Considering Subaru wasn't actually born in this world, that means Return by Death would have to be an authority." Shiana cut in.

Emilia twiddled her thumbs. "Well, with everything that's happened, it's easy to say Subaru wants nothing and has never had anything to do with them… But how would he have gotten an authority without the people from the cult?"

"Who knows? It adds to the mystery around this guy. If he never told you about it, there might be a reason he kept quiet… I gotta say, Emi, you have a weird boyfriend." Shiana teased.

Any remaining serious tone was long gone with that statement.

Emilia blushed deeply and tried to keep a cool demeanor. "W-well yeah, but that adds to his charms, you know!"

Shiana, a renowned scholar in the bustling city, was known for her diverse range of services. Despite offering affordable rates, she was always in high demand, constantly bombarded with job offers. When Emilia approached her with a proposition to translate a foreign language, it made it all the more intriguing. However, the daunting task of starting from scratch made her initially decline the offer.

But everything changed when Emilia, desperate and on her hands and knees, pleaded with her. She "explained" that her worries about her "boyfriend" were consuming her, leaving her no choice but to seek help. The sight of tears streaming down Emilia's face, coupled with the humbling act of a royal selection candidate prostrating themselves, tugged at Shiana's heartstrings just enough. Little did she know, this would mark the beginning of an interesting friendship.

Shiana started to dig into her bag, pulling out a few more sheets of messy paper. "Now I might have lied. I did try to translate some of the other pages, but from what it seems, there are no dates on them, and he didn't consistently write in the diary."

Emilia glossed over some of the other pages, and it became obvious that the translation was a bit rougher but good enough to get an idea of what was being said. Most of them seemed like random logs of notable days for him and a few bad days.

There was a slight sting in her heart when she found a specific entry about the last person she wanted to think about.


My name is Natsuki Subaru.

Mom, Dad, I think I've come to truly understand the pain of losing someone.

I've mentioned her before, but she's the sole reason I've made it this far. Maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic, but her impact on my life is undeniable, and sometimes I can't help but exaggerate!

Rem. Honestly, she's too good for me, and it's hard to admit it, but I know you both would agree. If you had told me that I would meet a girl who was willing to risk her life for me, I would have called it bullshit.

I feel like I've just gone through a miniature war. I had to defeat a colossal whale that erases the existence of its victims, and as if that wasn't terrifying enough, I had to reset everything because of a green-haired psychopath who went on a killing spree. Believe it or not, it took me several attempts to finally outsmart him.

There were moments when I almost gave up before even starting. I wanted to escape.

And in a way, I feel like I did.

At that moment, I found myself ready to take Rem's hand and go far from the troubles of Lugnica. A country plagued with countless issues, and I wanted to sever all ties with it.

Until now, every impossible situation had the same result. Everyone I cared about got to walk away. This time was different. She's still alive, but it's no way to live. She can't talk; she can't walk; all she can do is breathe. The worst part is that nobody remembers her; they don't remember her voice, her smile, or even the way we would bicker.

It's as if she never existed, erased from everyone's memories except mine.

I'm afraid they'll never know how important she was or how much she loved them all. They will only ever know I failed her.

Even a child could see that the jealousy she was feeling and all of the insecurities she had been ramping up in her head were uncalled for.

The man she fell in love with wasn't obsessed over another woman, nor was he trying to find a new flame. This was his friend. He just wanted his friend to be okay.

Admittedly, Emilia turned a blind eye to the existence of Rem. She had always had a hint of jealousy toward her, especially with the way Subaru would spend his nights just watching over her. She never really considered the weight behind those actions and how she would have felt in that situation.

If Subaru had been the one to succumb to the sleeping beauty curse and it was all due to her own shortcomings, there is no describing the guilt she would have felt.

Shiana observed her friend's pained expression and swiftly snatched the paper from her grasp. "Before you get all depressed, here's the last entry in his diary. I already know what I want to say, but you should read it first."

The concluding translation painted a bleak picture...

My name is Natsuki Subaru.

I have accomplished great things, but I am far from a hero.

In this world of fantasy and magic, I have faced countless trials and tribulations. I have fought against powerful adversaries, saved lives, and even sacrificed my own for the sake of others. But every victory I achieve feels hollow, overshadowed by the knowledge that I failed the person who stood by me the entire way.

To those around me, I shine like a beacon of hope, but I know the truth. My friends stand by my side unwaveringly. They see the strength in me that I struggle to recognize in myself. Their unwavering support and belief in me fuel my determination to keep pushing forward, even when I feel like giving up.

There might be a day when they come to realize that, had it not been for this curse, I would have failed to do anything long ago.

This curse, the ability to return by death, has granted me the chance to correct my mistakes and try again. It has given me the opportunity to learn from my failures and grow stronger with each iteration. But with every reset, I am burdened with the memories of pain, loss, and despair. It is a constant reminder of my own limitations and the fragility of my existence.

They are my friends, in every sense of the word.

But deep down, I can't help but feel like an imposter. The weight of my failures and shortcomings constantly gnaws at my conscience, reminding me that I am not the hero they believe me to be.

Yet, despite all of this,

In the moments we spend together, laughter fills the air, and for a brief respite, I can forget about the darkness that looms over me. Their smiles, their camaraderie, and their unwavering faith in me are the rays of light that pierce through the shadows of my self-doubt.

I cherish these moments, treasuring the bonds we have forged through shared hardships and victories. They are my pillars of strength, reminding me that even in the face of overwhelming odds, I am not alone. Together, we navigate this treacherous world, supporting each other through the darkest of times.

So, while I may not consider myself a hero, I will continue to fight. I will strive to protect those I hold dear, even if it means facing my own fears and confronting the harsh realities of this world. And perhaps, one day, I will find the strength to believe in myself as much as they believe in me.

But just maybe, as cowardly and unsightly as it may be,

I wish to go home and put this all behind me.

That would be a blessing in disguise.


"Listen, Emi, I understand that he's your boyfriend and you love him, but I don't think he's worth the trouble here."

Emilia was taken aback by her friend's words, but in her heart she had already reached a conclusion.

"I don't usually meddle in relationships, and it's not my place to interfere, but I genuinely think this isn't worth the pain and trouble it's causing you."

A heavy silence hung in the air as Emilia processed her friend's advice. Finally, she let out a deep sigh, releasing the tension that had built up inside her.

"I know deep down you're probably right, but I need to be strong for him. I know what it looks like based on these journal entries, but I can't bring myself to be angry at him for it."

It was a complete transformation from Emilia's previous behavior. When they first met, she was filled with desperation, insecurity, and jealousy. She lacked confidence, and it seemed like she would easily be taken advantage of by anyone who crossed her path, especially without Subaru by her side.

"I appreciate your concern, but I can't just give up on him. Not after finally seeing the words he's kept to himself for so long." Emilia said it firmly. "If there's something he's struggling with, he'd never actually tell anyone. That's the man he is."

Shiana nodded. "I get it, Emi. You don't need to explain anything more."

Emilia smiled gratefully. "Here's the payment I promised; I should head back to the mansion soon before anyone gets suspicious."

After a brief exchange of goodbyes, Emilia ran off into the distance, carrying the translations in her hand.

"Ahh man, I really thought… I'd make some progress here." Shiana mumbled to herself, pulling out a small black stone that glimmered a hue of purple.

"That girl is a little tougher than she looks…Chidna."

Miload Mansion, Present Day

Otto stood in front of his mirror, disgusted and intrigued by his unique transformation. Subaru made it a point to point out that Otto possessed the qualities of a "Pretty Boy". which, from what little he could understand, meant that he was a boy who was very charming but also a bit feminine.

"Wait.. feminine boy.. Like Fem Boy? No, I'm probably just overthinking it. I doubt that word could ever catch on!"

"Octavia" could be seen wearing a rather subtle but long, snug, and silky green dress. Their shoulders were entirely visible, as was a padded chest, and a green luminescent butterfly as the finishing piece adjourning his hair.

A loud cackle could be heard from behind, followed by sarcastic and slow claps.

"I still think the name Octavia is too on the nose. Why can't we use Audrey like I suggested?" Petra said to the group.

Otto turned around to face the group. "Frederica I expected Garfiel to laugh; I'm almost hurt that you're the one laughing."

Frederica turned away, attempting to keep her laughter contained. "Well, it's just that seeing how well we actually pulled it off, I almost want to see Garf dressed up too!"

Garfiel instantly glared at his sister. "Absolutely not! I will never dress as a woman. Not even if the boss asked me too."

Little did the pair know that this was not going to be the last time they ever had to consider dressing up as women.

Beatrice, who was next to Petra, gave her a pat on the back. "I think Audrey is a great name, but we did already draw straws, I suppose."

Otto's eyebrow twitched as he crossed his arms. "You guys drew straws? What happened to this being super serious and the only way to get results?"

Ram walked over to him, fixing the butterfly clip in his hair. "What we said still stands. Out of everyone, you're the smallest threat to Roswaal. As long as we pretend you're sick and bedridden, your "sister" gets to walk around freely."

Beatrice walked over to fix the back of the dress that had wrinkled up. "We'll probably be able to fool him once; after that, he'll definitely get curious and start to ask questions."

"In that time, we need to see Aldebaran. He's the only one who knows anything about Subaru and this "Japan". Garfiel said.

"While you do that, I'll be working tirelessly to analyze the magic formula used. If I can break it down enough, I may be able to cast the spell." Beatrice said.

With a resounding clap, Frederica and Petra synchronized their hands. "Listen up, everyone. I understand the tension in the air, but let's not forget that each of us has a vital part to play. Petra and I will maintain a facade; Beatrice will delve into the depths of the magic; Otto will rest peacefully; Octavia will embark on a quest to find Aldebaran, while Garfiel and Ram will be the ones hunting down Rem."

"We should have about a week at most before Roswaal figures out what we've been doing behind his back." Ram said.

With those last words, they all dispersed, leaving Petra and Frederica alone in the hall.

Petra was a little slumped, everyone seemed like they were about to go on the adventure of a lifetime, while she was stuck playing house and taking a back seat.

"I know we all have a part to play here, but Frederica, why do we feel like the odd ones out here?!"

Frederica gave Petra a pat on the head. "Just because we're the only ones staying behind doesn't mean we aren't going to be able to help."

Petra leaned into a tight hug from Frederica, eagerly waiting to hear what their plan of battle was.

Frederica embraced Petra tightly. "As the maids of the Miload mansion, we often go unnoticed, which works to our advantage. And besides... If we were to discreetly follow Roswaal, it wouldn't raise any suspicions, would it?"

Petra's eyes had a slight glimmer. "Wait, does that mean...?"

"We're going to find out exactly what part Roswaal played in this and why."

The group wasn't entirely confident that seeking out Subaru was the right choice to make, but if it meant getting to properly say goodbye to their dear friend…

Then even a witch wouldn't be enough to stop them.


Current Day, Japan

I opened my eyes to see a familiar scene before me. That being absolutely nothing in a pitch black room.

"Are you kidding me?! How many times am I going to be stuck in my head here."

Unlike last time, there was no crying woman; however, whether that was a good or bad thing was going to be hard to tell.

"Oi! Anyone out here with me? If this is my subconscious, then can we wrap this up? I'm like 90% sure I triggered my return by death."

My voice just echoed in the pitch black chamber.

Looking at myself, nothing was out of the ordinary aside from the fact that I was in my tracksuit and not the clothes I was wearing earlier. Nothing good ever came from me waiting around, so I decided to take a stroll until something popped up.

After taking a few steps, the familiar sound of crying started to invade my ears. This time I wasn't going to just sit here creeped out.

I took a deep breath and got ready to sprint as fast as I could in the direction of the lady.

"I'm coming, just wait!"

"I wouldn't suggest that if I were you."

The voice came from behind me, and while it did sound a bit familiar, there was something "off" about it.

Turning around revealed a black silhouette whose only noticeable feature were the bright white eyes, similar to the way Satella would always look when I triggered her return by death.

No matter what way you looked at it, though, the voice and shape had a more masculine tone to them; it was definitely not Satella.

"Hey, you're not Satella, right? Who are you?"

The silhouette seemed surprised by the question, looking itself up and down.

"What do I look like to you?"

That was a weird question to be asked by a black blob; we both seemed confused by each other's existence.

"Uhh, you're just a black silhouette; what do I look like to you then?"

The figure seemed like it wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"You look like you normally do, Natsuki Subaru."

The fact that it knew my name added to the suspicion that I was just stuck in my own head at the moment and that whatever happened right before I collapsed knocked me out.

"Are you my subconscious or something?"

It seemed like a rational assumption, in my opinion.

"No, if you can't tell who I am, then perhaps it's better to wait till the sloth factor acclimates a little better to your body."

The sloth factor? From what I remember Echidna telling me, my compatibility with it wasn't actually all that great. I wasn't aware that compatibility could change over time.

"Hey, so what do you know about the crying lady here? Is that something to be worried about?"

The figure reached out and grabbed my shoulder; it gave me chills down my spine. There was something about being touched by an unknown entity that made my body freak out.

"A fragment. Don't touch it."

It seemed like no matter how clearly I phrased my question, nobody would ever think to give me a clear and concise answer when it came to anything from the other world.

"Look. I appreciate the warning, but what exactly do you mean by fragment? And why the hell are you going to beat around the bush here? Just tell me."

The silhouette let go of my shoulder and walked past me.

"If you touch it, the sloth factor will go haywire, and it might drive you mad."

A better and properly explained answer, but still vague nonetheless.

"How do you know it'll make me crazy? Are you related to the sloth factor?"

I felt my heart ache; it started to beat like crazy, like it wanted to jump out of my chest. I lost the sensation in my legs, and it was hard to breathe.

It all went numb, and before I lost consciousness, the silhouette left me with another one of its vague answers.

"It happened to me."

As I regained consciousness, a wave of utter misery washed over me. The darkness of the night surrounded me, and the bed I was on was soaked in my sweat.

Every inch of my body throbbed with agony.

Even the slightest movement of my arms sent sharp bolts of pain shooting through my chest. With great effort, I managed to grasp the edge of the bed and slowly hoist myself into a sitting position.

My arms felt as weak as jelly, devoid of any strength.

I was in a hospital gown, but there were no visible injuries—not so much as a bandage outside of the IV they had put in my arm.

That is when the realization hit me: what was I doing in a hospital bed if return by death had been triggered.

And if return by death didn't trigger, what the hell happened.


Hello everyone it is your favorite and most tired turtle here. I figured out that you can actually add spacers, wild. I will be fixing the last chapter since it also needed a spacer I just had no idea how to use em you know.

Next chapter is all about the romance and feels.

I'll do my best!

As always I read all the feedback, and while this is grammer checked there is always human error! Once again thanks to everyone for reading!