"Okay, okay, here's a toughie! I spy with my little eye, something round and bulbous and -"
"Brake lever," Raven muttered the answer before projection Gar could finish his clues. He pouted, folding his arms sulking in the backseat.
"It's no fun when I'm all in your head! You know everything I'm about to say."
It only took a few seconds before his face lit up again with another round. Raven was nonchalant, continuing reading one of the many books she'd brought along in their road trip, which was indeed driven by a car on autopilot.
After a few more - seemingly countless - rounds of I Spy, Raven looked up to check up on their current location.
"We're close!" Gar exclaimed.
Raven replied, "Not only that -"
"Arrived at destination," reported the automatic voice from the car's GPS, as her vehicle gradually came to a halt.
Raven carried the filled cardboard box that had been riding shotgun as she unfastened the seatbelt and got up.
She and a hummingbird Gar alighted the car, to be met with a medium breeze and flying grassblades. She looked around, getting the lay of the land. Not much but grassy patches. However, she could hear all sorts of sounds of nature coming from yonder. Cascading waterfalls. Chirping birds. Tumbling rocks. Grumbling mammals. Buzzing insects. It was an outburst of sensations so different from the city life she'd grown accustomed to.
"Here we are," she uttered to herself, and to Gar. "Let's see what you have in store for me, Gar."
"Onward!" Gar transformed into a prairie dog and ran towards the sounds of the waterfalls, Raven following.
It was a site to behold, cleansed from the urban senses, and easy to get lost in the vastness. Even after studying its map during her travel, Raven had no idea how to utilise the entire space in all its natural glory.
Just short of the waterfall, Raven stopped at a pond, populated by beautiful glistening goldfish. Waiting for Raven atop a zen rock stack was a sealed envelope.
"You know the drill," said Gar.
Raven opened the envelope and unfurled the letter.
"Hey, Raven!
Welcome to your new humble abode! I really hope you like it here, because I haven't got the chance to check it out. You know, bedridden and all.
A new place marks a new start for you. Do what you gotta do, mama. Get your meditation sanctuary and library going. Build that empire of tranquility.
Speaking of 'build', I've also contracted some construction workers to at least get some head start and help the beavers out. A hut here. A trail there. But you fill in the blanks, with all the equipment you need for your new place.
Plus, I only know so many books to contribute to your library.
But, this isn't my first task for you.
What was harder for me than to withstand my own pain, was to helplessly watch you numb yours with that prescribed medicinal incantation. You need to unravel that.
I never asked you to stop using the numbing spell after the first and only time you insisted that you needed it and to trust you on that. And I do. I have. It was our friends that expressed their worries, and justifiably and understandably so.
The worst part of the grief is over now. It's time to move on, Rae. Time to rise up again. I don't want you to keep looking down. Because I won't be there. I'll be with you every step of the way, forever cheering you on, whether you hear my cheers or not. I hope for your sake you don't hear me, cuz that means you've moved on. I need you to move on. You need you to move on.
And the first step towards that is to fly and use your powers again.
You can do it. I believe in you.
Of-fish-ally yours,
Gar"
Raven looked up after reading the letter, onward at the giant lake in front of her.
"I hate it when you're right," she muttered reluctantly yet hopefully. Everyone else had been advising her to quit with the numbing spell, but she'd continuously resist. "It may not be time for me to stop the numbing, but I think I'm at a state right now where I can at least try."
The fact that she was in a more secluded location than her big white room was a good step towards absolutely ceasing the dosage. Less carnage she could cause. Fewer temptations to trigger her. New, unfamiliar sensations which she could not just simply shrug off.
She looked at her reflection in the pond, and could see a figment of Gar beside her.
"Let's get to it."
Raven had spent every morning over the week since her arrival on a spacious grassy field, first meditating, then trying to cast her usual basic enchantments. After that, she'd work on setting up layouts for her new career, as well as her accommodation. Building works had already been commissioned.
It was the tenth morning. As soon as she got up from her hammock, she picked up a framed photo of her and Gar from the cardboard box. She stared at it with soft admiration.
"Rise and shine, my love!" greeted Gar in pyjamas, transforming into a dog to stretch and yawn. "I've got a good feeling about today!"
Then, Raven made her way to an empty field to commence her power-reviving session.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos." She'd uttered this so sparsely since his death. And now, chanting it repeatedly to no avail, those magic words were starting to not sound like actual, familiar words.
She repeated for what felt like the thousandth time. The grass she'd been sitting cross-legged on had now adhered themselves to her.
There was a black spark. A tortoise Gar popped his head out of his shell with bated breath, only to be disappointed when that spark just as quickly dissipated.
"Keep at it, Rave," he encouraged, albeit dully. "Remember: Your powers are driven by emotions! Feeeeeel!"
Raven opened her eyes, looked at Gar retreating back into his shell, then at the greyish blue clouds a distance away from them.
Then, once again, she closed them, retaining that image of the sky as she uttered those three words.
"Azarath... Metrion..." A sigh.
"What are you feeling?"
"Zinthos."
Gar gasped. And, Raven felt it. She felt her legs cooling down as her entire body levitated a few noticeable inches, leaving the grass.
Gar reverted to human form, cheering. "Yes, Raven! That's my woman!"
She hovered higher, and higher. She stretched out her legs the moment she gained sufficient height.
She opened her eyes and looked down at the progress she'd made - forgetting that that would cause her to fall back down.
Her fall wasn't high, though, and she managed to land on her two feet, but with an awkward thud as she didn't give herself a soft landing.
"Guess I'm a bit rusty."
It was now Gar that was cross-legged on the grass. "But how did it feel? Did it feel similar to the times before the numbing spell?"
Raven thought about it for a moment, recalling the sensations. "Yes and no. It felt like lava coursing through my veins. As if my bones were on fire. I don't think I was self-aware of these sensations before. Except, maybe, when I practiced the very first time with the monks of Azarath."
"It hurts?"
Raven shook her head. "This also feels different, though. I remember learning it the first time resulted in many mini explosions. This past week, my attempts have been more subdued. Contained, as if my energy bolts are emerging from within instead of outward. Either the effects of quitting the numbing cold turkey, or my magic had evolved overtime and I hadn't realised it until -"
"Till now," uttered Gar, prompting Raven. "This is the biggest progress this week. What if you keep trying today?"
Raven agreed. And so, she sat cross-legged once more as the grey clouds slowly approached them.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos." She managed to gain a few more inches.
She tried again. Got even higher.
And again, and again.
With each attempt, she was becoming more confident and comfortable. Gar was continuously cheering her on, which she reckoned was helping her.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" she proclaimed, eyes shut and head up toward the sky. She felt energy pulsing within her, and when she opened her eyes, they were glowing black. She looked down at her progress; she was hovering just slightly higher than her last attempt.
But the moment she looked down, she fell straight back to the grass.
Momentarily getting her bearings, she got back up.
"When the monks ignited my flight, they had to do it atop a hill."
"Should we raise the stakes? Get a higher vantage point?" Gar asked, pointing at the hill overlooking the lake to her left. "Can't learn to swim without getting in the middle of the water. Makes sense that the same applies to flying."
She paused for consideration.
"I think we should. Besides, a simple hike will cool me down."
Raven had never used her feet so much in her entire life than hiking up the hill.
She was panting, stopping at a steep incline to take a break.
"You're almost at the top!" Gar encouraged, jumping in front of her, wanting to will her to trod on. "I think I see the peak!"
Raven glared at the figment of her boyfriend. "Easy for you to say. You're not exerting any energy."
Sucking it up, she kept going, ignoring the exhaustion. It was a good thing there was some wind and that it wasn't sunny.
Half an hour later, she finally made it. Panting, she sauntered to the true peak, which possessed a breathtaking view of the giant lake before her. She could hear and see more clearly the squawking great black-backed gulls frolicking around the lake. If it weren't for the grey clouds and the pitter-pattering drizzle, it would make a picturesque picnic place.
Gar stood behind Raven, sliding his arms around her waist for an intimate, encouraging embrace.
"You got this, Raven," he said. "I believe in you. I always have."
Gar let go and took a few steps back, allowing Raven the space to do her thing.
Eyes closed, she chanted, "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"
She rose the height of her own self, and concentrated so that she would gently descend back to the earth.
Confidence brewing, she did it again. Slightly higher.
And again, slightly higher. She was going against the wind current, feeling the breeze brushing against her violet hair. The rush was only matched by the flow of magic within her. The wind blowing against the fire within her. A perfect storm. Her arms were outstretched, yet relaxed.
Once again, she carefully lowered herself back down.
Gar was celebrating from afar. "You're doing it! You're flying again!"
An accomplished smile and a humble blush found their way on Raven's face.
"In a way, I think I finally get Starfire's joy in flight," she snickered. A long break without powers was what she needed to gain newfound appreciation for them.
She wanted to do it again.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" she chanted even louder, more fearlessly.
Sparks of telekinetic energy radiated out of her palms for a few seconds as she ascended towards the rainy sky.
The imaginary Gar, realising that Raven was hovering higher and higher, transformed into a herring gull and followed her.
Recognising the importance of her safety, she cautiously opened her eyes - and first gasped at her progress. Then, taking deep, calculated breaths, she slowly glanced downward whilst focusing her intention to remain in flight.
With trails of the old numbing spell potentially still in effect residually, even a minute lapse in concentration could result in a catastrophic fall.
Her sight finally reached the grass below her. And she was still in the air, perhaps now a couple of storeys high. Pre-prescription, that would have been a non-issue achievement.
"Okay, I think that's enough practice for today - Hey!"
Raven was baffled to almost collide with a giant black-backed gull that proceeded to fly past her, going inland. She stayed steadfast, fortunately, and did not go on a free fall. With returned concentration, she began her careful descent, minding the gulls that were increasingly flying back to shore.
The moment with the gull started to make her more conscious about her surroundings. The rain was getting stronger, and so were the winds. Although she was near the edge of the cliff, the winds would blow her away from it.
Strong gusts rapidly picked up. A storm had formed, getting larger and approaching. She thought, If only I had access to weather forecasts...
Recognising that she was potentially in a dangerous, life-threatening situation, she faced a split-second dilemma. Continue her slow, cautious descent to land safely on the hill's now wet grass? Or allow herself to fall, bruise herself a bit, but at least it would get her down in an instant. She'd have to chance something either way. Progress had become a predicament.
She decided on the latter - which was mentally easier for her. She looked down, and immediately lost flight.
Timing couldn't have been worse for her, though. The wind patterns of this particular storm, instead of blowing her away from the shore, had swirled her towards it instead.
Raven screamed as she realized the gravity of her situation - that gravity was going to lead her into the depths of the waters.
She reached her hands out, trying to grab the cliff's edge - and barely missed. Above the cliff, the gull Gar was swooping down towards her.
"Gar!" she screamed. Gar reached her, transforming into a large albatross. His talons reached her hands, but no physical contact was made. After all, he was just in her head.
Raven cried for help, but her cries were muffled when she plunged into the lake's vast waters.
After the initial impact, Raven managed to bob her head out of the water, gasping for air. She was dazed, flailing her arms, her concentration gone. She looked around for the shore, which took her a moment longer than usual because of the rising tide and waves, but she found it by finding a hovering human Gar, frantically reaching out to her.
"Grab my hand!" Gar yelled.
"You're intangible, you d- Oof!" Raven's last word was interrupted by a wave crashing her from behind, dunking her back into the water.
Raven quickly bobbed her head back into air. She was regretting her choices today. But she had little time to dawdle over that for another wave had hit her. They were coming at just the pace she could muster to stay afloat and oriented.
"Gar!" she cried again, seeing him every time she opened her eyes. In the air, he was a hovering human. Underwater, a helpless walleye fish.
The waves kept hitting, and hitting, and hitting.
"Gar!" Raven cried out again. She felt her energy slowly giving out, her chances of survival slimming.
"Raven, you've got to stay calm, concentrate, and take flight!" Gar pleaded, again helplessly and to no avail.
Raven vomitted out an unhealthy amount of water after another stormy hit. "It's too hard!"
"You can't just die now!"
She coughed out more water after another billowing wave. "Maybe - ugh - it's meant to be!"
She felt her focus slipping away. Her motivation to live withering away. Her hard-fought progress had just been taken away from her. Just like her love.
Gar grabbed her by the shoulders amidst the ruthless undulation.
"Raven, look at me." She did, to her best effort despite the swells. "I know you wonder what on this green Earth and blue seas is the point of life after losing me the way you did. The point is me, and is you!"
Pow! Another crashing wave in the torrential downpour. She found the air once again, her reddened, tear-filled eyes now upwards at the dark sky. She could see no silver lining in the grey clouds.
"Keep your eyes on me - on the shore, on the sky, on me. Focus on me."
Pow! Again, she fought for oxygen, eyes onward at the shore, only for her view to be blocked by a wave in front of her. She couldn't tell if she'd gone farther away or closer to the shore.
Pow! She basically got lucky finding where was up at that collision, dangerously close to drowning. She forced her eyes open, eyes fixed on Gar.
"Let me help you!" Gar begged.
"You're just a ghost!" she retorted tiredly. "A figment! You're not real!"
"You have to believe that I can still be here for you." He reached out his hand. She was reluctant at first. But he was more relentless than the waves were. She had to be so, as well. "This is not your time. You feel it."
With everything, she lunged her arms out of the water, and held on to him as he pulled her towards the direction she presumed to be towards the shore.
Another wave hit, and she took it, willing herself to stay above water.
Another wave hit, another wave endured.
It was a matter of perseverance. Did she want to live badly enough to fight for her life? Her answer at that moment was an unrelenting yes, and so she kept her attention on Gar. Despite the chaos around her that she'd inadvertently thrusted herself into - the waves, the rain, the winds, the whirling twigs and leaves, the panic, the exhaustion - her chance of survival was somehow dependent on her belief in the Gar in front of her, somehow actually dragging her across the lake. Someone dead was giving her not only a reason to live, but also a pathway to living.
She must have somehow ended up so far away from land, because it felt like forever was being spent survival-swimming. The pounding of the waves, however, she noticed was becoming less frequent the longer she endured.
The longer she held on to this intangible Gar, the less impactful the waves were becoming.
She considered looking back at the vast body of water to assess the situation.
"Eyes on me, Rae," Gar reminded her, gripping on to her soaked arms. "Face me. Don't look back. You got me, and I got you."
A few minutes more of pulling, and the waves weakening, and Gar seized the opportunity. Instead of laterally pulling her, he lifted her up this time, his human self levitating higher.
"Eyes on me," he repeated as she felt him pulling her up until she was completely no longer submerged. Eyes on him now meant she had her head up, her eyes stuck to him as if she were captivated by the favorite chapters of her favorite books. "Don't look down."
She and Gar were now soaring. He pulled her higher so that they were face-to-face. They were holding on to each other - for Raven, holding on to dear life. Their eyes stayed put, staring back at the other. She looked into his youthful, lively green eyes. As green as the grass of her new home.
The storm was gone, the commotion reduced to mere rain.
Raven and Gar finally landed on the shore. She heaved a sigh of relief.
Gar grinned as he released her, though still staring proudly at her.
"Remember, Rae: That was all you. But not without me... if that makes sense."
Raven smiled thankfully.
She then heard a frantic squeaking. In front of her, she noticed a branch had fallen off a tree and had landed on a helpless flying squirrel, trapping and hurting it.
"Azarath... Metrion..." Raven repeated Gar's words in her head. Eyes on me. She envisioned him as she focused her energies on the tree branch. "... Zinthos."
The branch became concealed in her telekinetic energy, picking it up and freeing the flying squirrel.
Gar gave an obnoxious slow-clap.
"Welp, that was enough training for today, huh?"
Raven gave him a stern stare. Gar raised his eyebrows, on alert that he might have just offended his girlfriend.
Then, her face softened into a snicker, and then a chuckle doused with relief and happiness.
"It's only up from here."
