Hello all! My apologies for not posting this week. I am pregnant and my morning sickness is really doing a toll on me. Body is needing more sleep lately but hopefully il be over that hurdle soon. I hope you all enjoy, my apologies again for the delay. I hope you all had a wonderful week...now on to the drama!
Been down one time
Been down two time
I'm never going back again- never going back again by Fleetwood Mac
"Seems we are… We need to talk." He said it with an exhale, doing his best to steady his nerves and clear his head.
I'm not a lightweight, but that whiskey was stronger than expected. Not the best idea to have this conversation after said whiskey. Not the best idea to have this conversation in my bloody office when I'm waiting on Foster to return either. Sober up, mate; rip the bandage off and make this quick.
Zoe walked to the back of the desk, sitting on the edge, crossing her legs slowly. She was being deliberate with her moves, trying to get the upper hand. With an arch of the brow and a smirk on her lips, Cal watched as a knowing look appeared on her face.
"We can do far more than talk… We are all alone after all."
She's doing this on purpose to distract me. It's not going to work this time. This time you're not looking at her like that, not when the memory of the last woman who sat on my desk is fresh in my mind.
"Not that we have ever needed to be fully alone to…"
"No, darling, that's not what this is." He quickly cut her off before she could finish her sentence. Putting his hands between the both of them
"Oh, please, Cal, I know you." She leaned forward, getting closer to his personal space.
"Are you getting bored? You want to do a little role play? Pretend you don't actually want to fool around when we both know you always do." She trailed her fingers up his chest, gripping his collar.
"I don't…christ Zoe. And I don't think it's what you want either." Grabbing her hand from his collar and holding it in his. "It's just comfortable for us to fall back into the grove. Time and time again. We see a need in each other and fill a need in each other."
"Nice turn of phrase, Cal." She snapped her hand back from his in annoyance.
"I'm being serious…have you actually been happy being here? Being with me?" He studied her face intently, waiting for any hint of expression.
"I miss us, Cal. I miss us being together." She quipped, knowing that was not the question he asked.
"But have you been happy?" He pressed harder with his questioning, leaning forward in his chair.
Zoe wrapped her arms around herself, bouncing her leg as she looked away, thinking. Biting her lips back, she returned her gaze to Cal.
"I've been happy here—us being together as a family, with Emily and you."
"Just because we are happy together as a family doesn't mean we are happy together as a couple. You know that as well as I do. One of the reasons you left to begin with, it wasn't about our family. Its about us…Do I make you happy?"
She cut her eyes away quickly, but he could already see the truth in her before she could hide it.
"So that's a no."
"Of course you make me-"
"You really going to try and lie to me, luv? You know better than that… I don't make you happy; I haven't in a long time. That's why this keeps failing. We keep expecting a different outcome every time we get back together…But at the end of the bloody day, that doesn't change the simple fact….we don't make each other happy Zo. On top of many other reasons mind you. "
Zoe stepped down from his desk, walking away in annoyance. Cal quickly stood to watch her as she paced, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"I really don't get you… We were together for years, Cal. Were you unhappy the entire time?" She stopped pacing to turn and look at him.
"No bu-"
"So it's not impossible to make each other happy again, then, is it? We had something great." She walked closer to him, stepping into his space, continuing. "So that means we can do it again; we can make each other happy again." She closed the space between them, putting her hand on his chest.
Looking down at her hand, he closed his eyes, deep in thought.
I already have someone who makes me happy; I don't need someone that does, that has to try, it should just be natural. Gills finally giving me a bloody chance, and I won't muck that up for anything.
His train of thought was cut short by lips pressing against his, first soft, then more fierce. Unable to stop himself from kissing her back, his body took control of him purely on autopilot. She reached her hands up to his shirt, unbottoning the top, her hands caressing down his chest, making work of his shirt. His own searching for the rim of her skirt pulling it free from its confines.
You need to stop this. Stop her. For Christ's sake, mate, do you have any self-control? You don't even want this, not from her.
Feeling her hands work their way to his belt and tugging it free. Her small fingers moving to his zipper he quickly grabbed her wrist, stopping her.
"No." He protested, and out of breath, he stepped away from her, putting quick distance between the two.
"No?" She tilted her head in half amusement and half annoyance as she lightly chuckled.
"Yeah, that's right, no. We aren't doing this again. I mean that in both ways. Sex… nor are we trying to make us work. We shouldn't have to try and make each other happy; we should just be happy together, luv, and we aren't. We have done this so many bloody times, its foolish to think somehow this will be different. We both know it wont be." The last words coming out breathy and full of sincerity, he looked at her eyes as he spoke seeing them brimming with tears.
Walking up to her, he grabbed her hands, placing them at chest height in his grasp.
"I will always have love for you; you gave me the biggest gift imaginable by making me a father. I will always cherish that. And what we used to have, those memories will always be with us. But we both need to move on because that's just what they are memories. We keep looking back thinking about the good times, not realizing how few and far between those became... We both deserve someone that makes us happy and at the end of the day, I'm not that man for you."
"And… I'm not that woman for you, am i?" Zoe said with a small, sad smile on the brink of tears.
Shaking his head softly, he gave her a sad smile in return letting go of her hands and taking a step back.
"You've finally outgrown me…. Your right we need to move on…. Move forward…This is going to make visiting far less eventful, I hope you know." She joked, smiling at him.
"I'm well aware of what I'm turning down, believe me." Cal laughed, running his hands through his hair. "Its betta this way, for us both."
"Tell me something… This realization of us not making each other happy—you realized someone else makes you happy, didn't you? You didn't just happen to have a miraculous epiphany." She arched a sharp brow at him. Watching him as if she were in court and him on the stand, a smirk on her lips.
Shit, okay, two options. Tell her no; your daughter told me how unhappy we make each other; that will surely piss her off or break her heart. Other option: tell her why yes, someone else does make me happy, and I'm lucky enough that she's giving me a chance. Fucking hell, both aren't great I've got to have more options than that.
"I can have epiphanies all on my own, mind you. With this case, us being together so much brought back a lot of memories and feelings. Both good and bad, darling."
Beautifully done a nice safe option. Good job on that, if I don't say so myself.
"Oh, I'm sure that was it." She smirked, straightening out her shirt. "I should really get going; my part in this is done, and you all don't need me here to sign the papers. Emily is leaving soon as well, maybe I can steel her and do a mother-daughter dinner night."
"I'm sure she would love that, darling." He smiled warmly at her as she walked to the door, turning on her heels to look at him before leaving.
"A word of advice to my dear ex husband. Since I so care about you still and want what is best for you. It's never smart to mix business with pleasure, no matter how "happy" you think it will make you. It's a rather risky game to play." She arched a brow at him, giving him a knowing look, before turning to leave, not even bothering to wait for a response as she walked out of his office.
She's always had a talent for closing statements—stabbing you and twisting the blade before she leaves. I'm well aware of how risky the game is, but some things are worth it. Some people are worth it.
Walking to his desk, he sat down in his chair, hearing a soft, familiar knock before the door opened.
Gillian walked in, and he could not stop the smile that formed on his lips at seeing her again. That smile however quickly faded as she walked further into his office. Her expression well disguised by the naked eye, but he could see the truth. Hurt, frustration, and total and complete disappointment. Standing in front of him, she did not say a word; she just looked at him.
I don't like that look she is giving me.
"Ello, darling, are you all finished with your meetns?" he asked, forcing himself to smile through his worry.
Bringing her arms around and hugging herself in a self-soothing gesture, she inhaled, nodding to him.
"Yeah… I ah… I just finished not too long ago." She looked down at the ground after she spoke, unable to look him in the eyes Any more.
"What?" he started to ask before she interrupted him.
"I ran into Zoe on my way up." She said still looking down, unable to bring herself to look at him.
He could feel his stomach forming knots, a wave of nausea overtaking him as pure dread overwhelmed him.
No, no, no, fuck! What did Zoe do? What did she say to her?
"What did she say to you?" he questioned, barely above a whisper. Feeling his heart beat out of his chest as he did his best to hide the fear on his features.
"She didn't say anything, actually." She finally looked up from the ground to meet his eyes.
"then what-" he stood up from his chair, his words bring cut off before he could finish speaking.
"She didn't have to say anything, Cal… you have lip stick on your mouth—the same lipstick that happened to be smeared on Zoe's lips when I ran into her." Glancing down at his lips and exhaling in frustration.
"Gill, I swear to you nothing happened." He put his hands out in a show of innocents.
"Your flies down, Cal." She said glancing down at his zipper and then back at his face.
God fucking damn it, Zoe. This looks bad. This looks really bad.
Reaching down quickly and zipping his fly, he retucked his shirt as she looked away from his hurried actions.
"Darling, please look at my face; I'm telling you the truth; nothing happened." Walking quickly to stand in front of her, wanting to be close to her. His heart dropped when she recoiled, stepping back from him.
"We were just talking… I told her, We are done. That's it."
"You said you already talked to her about that, Cal." Shrugging her shoulders in disbelief at him, disappointment and hurt ravaged her features. "So, where were you lying then, or are you lying now?Because apparently, I can't tell since I believed you before."
"Would you just listen to…?" He tried his best to defend himself to no avail as she continued to talk.
"See this is why this-" she said, pointing between the two of them with her hand. "Wont work." She locked eyes with him as his mind worked over time.
Tell her you love her and that you have been in love with her. Tell her you screwed up. Tell her nothing happened. That you weren't completely honest earlier, that you were going to end things with Zoe, but she got you so excited for a chance with her that you ended up screwing everything up. Tell her fucking something so she doesn't keep looking at you like you're a total and complete asshole.
"Doctors!" Perry announced walking in with Elizabeth behind him, grinning from ear to ear. His smile quickly faded, taking in the scene in front of him.
"My apologies; we did not mean to interrupt." Perry looked at the two partners, neither of whom broke eye contact with each other.
"We ran out and brought something to eat for everyone. We figure we are keeping you all here late; it's the least we can do." Elizabeth stated , holding several large paper bags out from her body. "…I might not be a professional micro expression reader, but I can tell now is not a good time for us to be in here." she added. "Perry, why don't we unbox all of this food in the conference room while they…. Finish."
"We will be just a minute." Cal said with a small nod at the two other partners, not breaking eye contact with Gillian.
Perry and Elizabeth looked at each other before silently walking out of the office. Leaving Cal and Gillian standing in silence again.
"Gill-"
"We should head to the conference room; we don't want to make them wait any longer than they have." Gillian affirmed with a nod and walked to the door, but was quickly stopped by Cal's hand at her wrist.
"Would you just let me explain?" The words came out firmer than intended, causing her to startle slightly.
"Id rather you not but since you always get what you want go on then." Gillian pulled her hand free from his grasp, backing up against the door.
"I made up my mind about Zoe and me last night. I was going to talk to her last night but thought today would have been better, it was getting late. I had every bloody intention of talking to her first thing, but I didn't want to do it on the phone; I wanted to do it in person. When you and I talked earlier, I had already decided I wasn't going to go back to Zoe again. It wasn't even a question, it was certainty. So I said I already talked to her because in my screwed up mind I already had."
"But you didn't talk to her now did you? And If you were so certain you wouldn't go back to her again, like your always do mind you… How exactly did her lip stick end up on your face with your pants unzipped?"
"She kissed me… and came onto me when I was telling her we were done. I stopped her from doing anything more. Yes I screwed up, I should have stopped her the second she even tried, but she can be-"
"Your magnet, the person you always go back to, every single time. " She said it sadly.
"I won't, im telling you im never going back again." He tried to defend himself.
"It's not just Zoe… You're like this with so many other women; you just can't say no. And to each his own, but… I told you I don't want to get hurt. I don't know what I was thinking earlier-"
"What are you saying?"
"That we make great business partners and even better friends… but maybe it should stay as just that. It's safer for both of us."
Tell her. Fucking tell her the truth. Tell her you love her. Tell her you have been in love with her. Why cant you just say the bloody words? She may not be saying that she wants the line back, but she is certainly trying to guard herself from you.
"That's not really what you want. I can see it on your face, luv; you're disappointed in me, yes, and pissed rightfully so. This was a screw up yes but it's something im trying to be better at. I'm not totally devoid of control, I'll show you, I promise."
Just give me a chance to not royally screw it up again.
Gillian looked at the ground, inhaling, about to speak. He quickly cut her off before she could say any words.
"I'll wait as long as it takes, darling, because I know what I saw when you were sitting on my desk earlier."
"And what exactly did you see, Cal?" Looking up from the ground to look him in the eyes, she spoke the words softly.
Okay, she is giving you an opening; she doesn't look as hurt any more. Take a chance.
"that you… want more than just friendship."
I want more than just friendship because I saw lust and desire, two things that I know she saw in me as well. Shit, maybe I should have said "same as I want…" She can see it on my face, can't she? That it is what I want? Why is it so bloody hard to just say the words? Every other woman you have no problem talking to like that. With her every word becomes a chess move. I over think to the point I make the safe less risky option to not lose the game.
"Just because you see something… doesn't mean you understand it, Cal; you should know that by now." She said with annoyance as she turned around, grabbing the door and pulling it open as she walked out, followed quickly by Cal.
"I don't understand it. Pray tell, how did I miss reading that, darling? You were showing some rather clear signs in my office." He said catching up to her. Letting his tone become dramatically flirtatious at the words "rather clear," so she knew what he was inferring to.
Now your just pissing her off mate, she's not Zoe this isn't a duel you don't need to keep pressing her buttons.
She paused in front of the conference room door, turning around to look at him. Huffing to herself in annoyance as he continued.
"flushed cheeks… dilated pupils. All the while sitting on top of my desk," he suggested.
"Or maybe I just haven't had sex in a while, Cal." She snapped harshly at him. "maybe im just a little pent up… that's also a reason for having flushed cheeks and dilated pupils when in close proximity with men. Would have also shown those same signals if Perry was close now wouldn't i? …As I said, Just because you see something doesn't mean you understand it." Grabbing the handle to the conference room door and walking inside, she left Cal standing there, his mouth hanging open as he watched her leave.
Note to self stop pressing her buttons when she is already royally pissed at you. She might not fight like Zoe but she can certainly land an emotional punch.
Perry and Elizabeth stood back in the conference room, unloading a rather large amount of to-go food. Covering half the table already as more containers where pulled out while unboxing item. Gillian entered the office in bewilderment, as both partners froze looking up at her, holding containers in hand.
"Doctor Lightman said you had not eaten yet today… I did not want you to have to suffer through our signing with an empty stomach." Perry said proudly, looking at the display of food in front, sitting another container down.
"How many places did you go to?" Gillian asked with disbelief and amusement.
"five!" Elizabeth chuckled, grabbing the last bag, opening it, and pulling more food out.
"Jesus Christ, there is enough food here to feed a bloody army." Cal stated as he walked into the room.
"Appears to be the case looking at it all now…. this might have been overkill." Perry brushed his fingers through his hair. Cal noticed for the first time that the man appeared self-conscious. Nervous even, as his eyes darted around the table.
Christ he did this for Fosta, went out of his way- to several restaurants looks like- just to make sure she had something to eat. Nice gesture, if he didn't have ulterior motives…
A soft, familiar female laugh brought both men's attention from the absurd amount of food on the table to Gillian. Covering her mouth , containing her laughter as she shook her head in amusement.
"It is rather impressive….Thank you… really." She smiled appreciatively at the large man. Cal turned from his partner to look at Perry, seeing his nervousness dissipating after seeing Gillians' face. Doing everything in his power not to visibly roll his eyes At the mans relief.
"We also brought enough wine for an army." Elizabeth beamed, pulling out bottles of wine.
Gillian laughed as she reached for the folders on the desk.
"We still have business that needs tending to, are we ready to get started?"
After finishing eating, the group sat around the table, drinking wine and making small talk with one another.
"A couple more signatures, and you are all done." Gillian looked down at the paper as Perry signed his name.
"After I sign this, does that mean I am no longer a client?" he asked, arching a brow and biting a grin back from his lips.
"Technically, you are our client until midnight. Now Sign." Gillian countered with a confident grin, receiving a smug smile from Perry as he signed his name.
"Voila, you are all done. Pleasure doing business with ya, Pera." Cal interrupted while watching the fashion designer finish his last signature. Tilting back in his chair dramatically as he took a sip from his glass.
"Right, you are, Doc; it's been a rather interesting experience. Have you thought more about what we discussed at the bar earlier?" Perry looked over at Cal, seeing Cal close his eyes in anticipation as Gillian rolled her eyes as she turned her head to look at her partner.
"Oh damn, I'm sorry, ami. I thought you told her…and that's why your office felt so….tense when we arrived earlier." Perry's features quickly showed regret and worry as he looked at Cal.
Son of a bitch, she was already pissed at me. Now this? If I couldn't read his face id say he said that on purpose to make her even more angry with me. This night keeps finding ways to strike me down doesn't?
"No, unfortunately, we had other reasons for being… tense." Gillian said softly looking at Perry before quickly glancing at Cal in annoyance. Doing her best to hide her frustrations with him infront of company.
"Docta Fosta is far more… tense than myself I have to say Isn't that right, love? Little pent up, you said?" The words flew from his mouth before he could stop them.
Mate She's not Zoe, and you don't need to fight dirty and get back at her when she is mad at you. What's wrong with you?
"My apologies for my partner; it seems as though this isn't the first thing he has been deceitful about, today alone that is." She countered quickly, giving him a quick look of pure rage before concealing it.
"Well…now that you are here it's even better, best to discuss new cases with your partner after all."
"New case? Has something else happened at Lavi?" Gillian asked aa her brows pinched together I'm concern.
"Oh I would not be the client on this case, infact I'm not longer your client as of midnight tonight." He winked earning a shake of the head from Gillian as he continued.
"The potential client is a dear friend and he would make it worth your while, I can assure you. Doctor Lightman and myself discussed my friend's situation and it sparked great interest in him already. And I hope that it might spark your interest enough to take it on."
"I think I have a guess as what the case could be with that limited information alone." Gillian said looking over at Cal and back to Perry.
"I don't know this is a pretty unique situati-"
"your friends a male is that correct you said he?" She interrupted.
"Well yes-"
"Then it's not a woman for Cals sparked interest." She said, receiving a rather cold look from Cal. A chuckle escaped from Elizabeth who quickly busied herself by drinking her wine as she watched the group.
"sadly for your friend that leaves the rather unfortunate option of what I think this case is concerning…"
