Chapter 13 - Echoes in the Past and Wishes in the Present
Emerging from its hiding place behind the clouds, the moon shone high in the sky, the pale silver hue reflecting in the perfect circle of water.
A sound suddenly cut the brief silence between them.
"Misaki?" said Touma worriedly as he saw the girl lightly tap her own cheeks.
"I'm trying to concentrate here, don't look at me that way."
"In what way?"
"You know."
Despite her serious words, the girl noticed a subtle twist of confusion on his face.
She drew a deep breath, releasing it with a touch of warmth. Her gaze locked onto the boy before her, who instinctively took a step back, a hint of concern creasing his brow, likely perplexed by her strange change of mood.
"The festival isn't over yet," he said, a little hesitantly. "We can go back and watch the second round of fireworks there if you want."
"If that's what you want, fine. But that's not what you want, is it?"
Misaki was too serious, and the worst part was that she had barely noticed it. It served to push the boy away even more, frustration rising through her body when she noticed.
"Misaki, is something wrong?"
That question finally brought her back to her senses. Her thoughts were in a conflict that even she didn't understand, so it was only fair that this boy was so hesitant.
"Touma, why did you bring me here?" She took a step forward, she really wanted to close the distance between them like before.
"I thought... you'd like it." His gaze mismatched hers, concern evident on his face. "Maybe I was wrong?"
"No," her tone was dry. "But is that all? Isn't this night supposed to be 'yours'? Then I can only think that you carried me here with ulterior motives."
"No... no, I just..." His lips quivered in a short instant, his hands clumsily at his sides. "If I've done anything to upset you I apologize."
"You just did something that upset me."
With a perfect straight line drawn on her lips, Misaki turned her back to him and felt the golden whistle hidden in her yukata. She couldn't seem to calm down. Which was a shame, since the boy seemed unable to understand that what she was feeling was not irritation.
"Do you know why nowadays I am the leader of the biggest clique in Tokiwadai?" she asked, still with her back to him. It was as if she was saying that if he didn't want to look her in the eye, then she wouldn't even look at him. "Before I met you, I could consider myself a 'lone wolf'. But after all that, I realized that there are things you can't do alone. In other words... you were one of the reasons why I am what I am now."
"I don't understand what you're getting at."
"I told you, you're someone special to me, in more ways than one." She squeezed the whistle tighter, her eyes watering just a little. "In many… many ways. And you also told me that I'm special to you. So I thought... why did he bring me here? Does that 'special' mean the same thing to both of us?"
She expected to hear a hesitant response now, but all she got was silence. After a few uncomfortable seconds, she worked up the courage to look at him, but the boy was staring at the night sky as if searching for something among the stars. That did not make her happy.
"I don't know what you expect to hear from me," he said, placing his hands awkwardly in front of his body, his gaze still distant. "Seriously, I really thought you'd want to come back here, if I'd known you'd end up reacting like that I never would—"
"You really don't understand." She couldn't hold back that sigh that escaped her lips. "No... you're just trying to ignore it."
"Misaki—" He finally looked at her, only to be interrupted.
"Be quiet. As much as I love to hear you call me by name, it's no longer enough to make me happy." Misaki took a brave step towards him. Her gaze wavered, the words she held close to her heart flickering like distant stars. "I'll make you understand why I'm acting like this, so maybe I can finally get this weight off my chest."
"I really messed up," was just a whisper on his part, but it still reached her attentive ears.
"If you're going to keep acting like this, then we'd better leave. I'll talk to you later when you regain your ability to pull yourself together."
The distance between the two increased once again when he turned away because of her cold words.
"I just wanted it to be like old times, you know," Touma said, trying hard not to let his voice fail him. "We were friends, or at least that's what it seemed like when I look back on those memories. I thought we could make it official."
"Now I'm the one who doesn't understand what you mean. Make what official?"
"The last few days have been amazing. I don't know why but I feel better when I'm with you, especially when it's just the two of us. That's why I brought you here... I just wanted to look at you, see you smile, tease me. Of all the people in my life, you are one of the few that I really feel at ease with. It's as though I can be myself without the need to tread cautiously as if I'm navigating a minefield... you... you're different. That's what I mean by 'special'."
In silence, Misaki listened to every word. And she almost smiled. The only reason she managed to hold back the smile forming on her face was that she shifted her concentration to her rumbling chest, trying uselessly to calm down.
"You're a good friend," he continued, not realizing that the girl's lip twitched at hearing that. "And I think you consider me something like that too."
"You're wrong then." She even crossed her arms at that. Her closed posture suddenly made the boy move further away from her. "But I doubt that's really what you think."
However, Misaki was unwilling to let him withdraw so easily. She pursued him silently, her steps gentle yet resolute. Her hand once again found the recently acquired whistle, and this time she retrieved it from its place, cradling it affectionately in her delicate grasp.
"The last time you gave me something like this," she said, placing the whistle in front of her face, "your intention was to try to make sure I was okay. At that moment, when I accepted that cheap whistle, without complaining just because it was you, I had already begun to realize that we wouldn't be friends for long. And I was right... but it wasn't exactly what I had in mind. But yes, I did consider you a good friend at one point, but that's changed, I've changed... that's not what I want."
A light breeze ruffled the boy's hair at that moment, which made him turn his face away as if he didn't want to be hit by the cold wind. But she knew it wasn't that. She knew that boy refused to lose anyone, and that he feared that someone he held precious would permanently leave his life because of him. And that he blamed himself for everything. She knew all that. And she would erase all the worries and doubts that were surely swimming in his head, and she would only need a few words.
"That's not what I want anymore," she said, watching him slowly turn his face to look at her. The distance between them was closed. "You know why? "
"Was it something I did?" His face was still full of doubt.
"Yes, it was something you did." But she touched that doubtful cheek with her slender fingers in an almost caress. "It was your words... your teasing... your bad jokes. It was your strange, off-beat manner, it was the horrible impression you left on me that day, in this place." She brought her face closer to his, she just wanted to whisper the last part. "It was the kind way you treated me. It was your concern for the person I really am, Shokuhou Misaki, not Academy City's #5, that made me bond with you so much. It was that, among many other things, that made me fall in love with you."
x-2-x
For a moment, it even seemed like a dream. The boy's first thought was to move away from her, to increase the distance, but as if by instinct, his body froze. Touma wanted to say something, but felt unable to capture in words the symphony of emotions inside him.
He was motionless, helpless, unable to breathe.
But that didn't seem like a bad feeling.
And he still didn't know what to say.
Nor what to do. So instead he just thought. He sought refuge in his own head.
'Did she... did I really hear that?' He really hoped to hear an answer. But none came. 'Is that really how she feels?' Again, no answer. He had to take a deep breath to try to calm down. 'What do I do? What answer should I give? 'No... wait... I have to...'
Perhaps out of embarrassment, anxiety, or something else that completely escaped the boy, Misaki sighed. He watched her as she moved her hand up to her head. One smooth motion later, her golden hair fell behind her, now freed from that bun, waving in the night wind.
If he was going to be honest, he actually preferred her like this. She didn't need special makeup or a hairstyle to give off that aura of maturity he had come to admire. He had already realized how this girl was different that day in Tokiwadai, when the whole city had been hit by a heat wave. In fact, that was just one of the memories among many that had the same effect.
"That's not quite what I expected," she said, carefully tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "I mean, it wasn't as if an instant response was part of the plan, but that silent ability is kind of cruel."
Misaki did not sound angry, her voice was sweet, soft. However, her facial expression remained neutral, creating a sense of dissonance. It was as though she was uncertain about how to feel, at least that was the impression the boy gleaned.
"Misaki..." He finally said something.
"Yes?" The girl was impatient, she wouldn't let the silence come back between them. "Just so you know, this isn't some elaborate prank or anything. My clique isn't going to show up out of nowhere with cameras and start laughing in your face. I'm being honest—"
"I know."
The interruption restored silence, leaving only the sound of the frigid wind gently swaying her lengthy blond hair.
In the end, Kamijou Touma hoped it would happen eventually. Maybe deep down, he really wanted the situation to get here. He brought her to a secluded place, gave her a gift he knew she would like, even if the doubts in his head still chastised him, and tried to make the mood as pleasant as possible. Of course, not everything turned out exactly as he expected. For a moment, he really thought he was losing her. For a brief moment, he really thought he had blown it. That was the extent of his insecurity.
And the reason for this insecurity...
"I'm really sorry," he said. There was no energy in his voice. "But—"
"No!" Her voice resonated loudly, creating echoes that rippled through the night, much like her trembling hands. "I said I didn't expect an immediate answer, so I can wait."
"The answer would be the same." A nervous hand slid through his hair as he sighed and looked away. "I was anxious, you know? I have my memories now, all of them, so I remember that day at the hospital. You said this moment would come, you made it clear. Even I wouldn't be able to stay in denial for so long in the face of so many signs."
"So I was right?" Hope now tinged her voice, her delicate face chastened by the wind, yet she remained indifferent. "That's why you brought me here. You didn't just want to reminisce about old times, you knew I felt that way."
"I wasn't sure."
"But now you are." She took a step towards him, but he stepped back. "I'll say it again. I'm in love with you, and I've waited all this time, so I can wait longer. Honestly, I didn't intend to have this conversation so soon, but the timing seemed right so I... I didn't screw it up, did I?"
Only the corner of his eyes was focused on the girl, but she turned her head to the side as if to force him to look at her.
"I know it may have been too fast," she continued, "but we've known each other for almost two years. The time we spent together that summer was more than enough to make me feel this way. So, deep down I was hoping you already felt that way too, but it looks like I was wrong."
"You weren't."
The girl's face was covered in surprise, her starry eyes suddenly widening, but soon returning to normal. She almost smiled. There was also something moist forming at the corner of her eyes.
"So does that mean," she continued, once again trying to lessen the distance between them, "that you already have an answer?"
"Yes." He nodded, a redundant gesture, a testament to how he felt. "First I want you to know that I'm happy... I really am. However... I'm sorry but... before I can give you a proper answer, I have to be sure of something." Touma paused for a long moment, choosing his words carefully as he looked at his reflection in the water. He didn't want to hurt this girl, ever. "The person you're seeing here, is it the same one from that summer? If not, how could I give an answer in his place?"
If he was to judge by the way her lips trembled, something wrong was going on inside her. Misaki's posture no longer had the same lightness. Her shoulders stiffened, and her hands clenched into tight fists. The step she took towards him was almost a stagger, as if the strength was leaving her body.
"I don't understand," she said. That moisture in her eyes was for different reasons now. "Was it because I said there was a difference between you?"
The words that escaped her lips were laden with pain, causing the boy to feel a profound sense of distress. His chest suddenly heaved, but he ignored it because he knew something worse was happening to her. He held on, he looked in another direction as always.
"So that's it?" he said, his gaze undecided, focused on their reflection in that lake. The ripples caused by the wind distorted the image there, preventing him from seeing his own face. "You also think I'm not the person you fell in love with. I'm just someone who has his memories. The time we spent together, me and you, don't even compare to the time you two spent together. Having someone's memories doesn't make me that person, it's not fair that I just show up and take credit for what he did for you."
Those weren't the words he had intended to utter. His true desire was for the girl to refute it, but she hadn't even done that. A negative, somber sensation welled up inside him, coursing through his body. He thought he was over it, he really thought he could move on next to that girl. He wanted to make her happy... he wanted to be happy too.
As a last plea, he looked deep into her eyes, hoping she would say something to take that weight off his shoulders, anything.
The only answer he got was a sigh. And right then, something flew towards that artificial lake. It was golden and sky blue, it was the gift he had given her, and it twisted the surface of the lake, further distorting the image of Kamijou Touma reflected there.
"Do you have anything else to tell me?" she asked with a dry tone. The girl brought her hand to the golden bag she always carried with her. "Because it might be the last chance."
Misaki pulled out a remote control from that bag. The gesture she made next was familiar, it mirrored that very same gesture from that night.
Touma felt a tightness in his chest.
"Wait, what did you-"
"I will erase my memory ability," she interrupted, her voice still dry.
"No... no, no. You can't do that." He took a step towards her, but this time it was she who stepped back. "Misaki, please don't do this."
"Why not?" She fiddled with the remote control, almost pressing the button that served as the trigger for that strong weapon. "Why are you afraid, Tou- no, Kamijou-san? One question, if I erased my memories now, all of them, would you still feel the same way about the person in front of you?"
"Misaki, please." He tried to intercept her, but the girl almost pressed the button once more, which made him freeze in place.
"What if I erased just my memories of that summer? Those precious memories I shared with you, or that other person from your point of view, would that change anything between us?"
"What are you trying to get me to say?"
"Answer the question. What would change between us?"
He hesitated. For longer than was comfortable, his hands gripping the fabric of the clothing as if it were his last pillar of support.
"Nothing," he said simply, and with complete sincerity in his voice. "At least on my part. I'd still have those memories after all."
"Great."
It didn't look 'great' at all.
Touma held his breath. That remote control in her hand moved slightly, but her finger didn't press that button.
"Then you understand how I feel." She put away the control, to the boy's relief. "I didn't let your missing memories shake how I felt about you." Misaki walked towards him, finally, the boy didn't flinch. "Maybe you're right in saying it's not you anymore, but why should I care? Why can't I just say 'So what?' and keep loving you anyway? Ten or twenty years from now, you, this one in front of me, won't be you anymore. People change over time and become different versions of themselves, no one thinks exactly the same about everything for their whole life, that's a fact. But again, why should I care? Just because I fell in love with the person you were in the past, does that stop me from falling in love with the person who is here in front of me? Or the person you will be in ten or twenty years? Do you think my feelings for you are so weak that they'll be shaken by something so ridiculous?"
That heaviness from before started to leave him little by little, and when the girl's face got so close to his, his doubts started to leave him too. Those bright eyes were so close now, enough to make him forget everything else.
Why should he care?
"I'm sorry," he said, but this time those words sounded different. The meaning, surely, had changed. "You really are someone special, but it took me too long to understand."
"No... I'm the one who apologizes. I guess I overreacted a little." She looked away for just a moment to the lake beside them, becoming calmer with time. "However, I think it's only fair that I get something as compensation for making me do it."
"You're a rather unreasonable person sometimes, you know that?"
"My request will be reasonable." After so long, the girl finally smiled. But it was simple, almost imperceptible. "I have changed my mind. I want an answer. A real answer now. Don't try to run away again, I've already got at least twenty speeches ready for each possible scenario."
"Really?"
"No." Her smile widened. "That was impromptu ability."
"That was actually pretty good."
"I learned from the best."
Her hand glided up his body slowly, moving to meet his cheek. After a light caress, the girl leaned slowly toward him.
"Now, give me the answer. Keeping me waiting for another minute would be cruel."
Touma was about to open his mouth to say something, but for the second time in the night, something soft touched his lips. Again she stopped him from speaking, but she used her thumb this time, from that hand that caressed his cheek.
"Don't use words," she said, slowly removing her finger from his lower lip, as if toying with him. "Just do what I know you've wanted to do for a long time."
This was the third time of the night. However, that soft feeling on his lips was much better than the other two. And it was he who initiated the movement, but he felt, even with his eyes closed, that the girl intercepted him midway.
She had been the one to take his lips for her own.
It was a simple, delicate kiss, but that didn't mean he hadn't enjoyed every second of it. Their breaths danced in the space between them, briefly mingling, while he cupped her cheek. His thumb brushed against the soft skin beneath her ear, as a subtle yet enchanting fragrance wrapped around them. It carried a hint of honey, a scent that seemed to mirror her sweetness.
As the seconds unfolded, the girl's fingers traced a tender path along Touma's back, their gentle caress gradually finding its way to the nape of his neck, sending a shiver down his spine, which kept him from pulling away. Not that he wanted to anyway.
When they finally pulled back, a soft gasp escaped the girl's lips, the warmth of her breath lingering against the boy's skin, igniting a persistent longing for the taste of her lips once more.
"Well," she said, smiling slightly while still so close to him, "the real thing is undoubtedly better than an indirect kiss."
"Out of so many things to say right now, this is what you chose?"
"I'm complimenting you, I don't know why the complaint." The cute pout returned to her lips. "Could you at least confirm if this kiss of mine was better than that other one?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, this was my first kiss."
She seemed to like the answer if that beaming smile served as confirmation.
x-3-x
Misaki's heart was racing at that moment. She had made it. After so long, after so much suffering alone, she really had made it. It didn't even feel real, it was like she was trapped in a happy dream that she refused to wake up from.
"I did it," said the boy. He had a golden whistle in his left hand. "Shouldn't this thing float? Anyway, why the hell did you throw my present away like that? It took work to make, how inconsiderate, honey girl."
"A love story isn't complete without a little drama ability, Touma-chan," Misaki replied, smiling to try to disguise her nervousness due to her noisy chest.
"But did you have to scare me by saying you were going to erase your memories? That was just a bluff, wasn't it?"
"Of course. I just wanted to prove my point in an effective way." She held out her hand to him. "Now give me here, this whistle will stay with me until the last day of my life now. I won't take it off my neck even to take a shower."
"Damn it!" He held his head with both hands and looked away. "Damn fertile mind... get that image out of your head, Kamijou-san."
For the moment, she ignored the boy going through this strange crisis, playing with the golden whistle in her hands. Misaki was unable to stop smiling at the moment. Seeking to calm herself, she sat on the edge of the lake, letting her feet rest on the mirrored surface reflecting the moon.
"Come here," she said, patting her side to get the boy to sit down too.
"Should we be doing this?" Even though he asked this with a worried tone, he sat down next to her. "Something tells me it's somewhat dangerous."
"Said the person who dived into the lake just now to retrieve the whistle."
"My Dragon Shell would protect me from just about anything, I'm worried about you miss 'about to drown in a half-meter pool'."
"You're here to save me, so why should I be worried?" She tilted her head towards him, resting it on his shoulder. "Your ability to spoil the moment keeps getting worse. From now on your queen will try to teach you some manners."
"It seems someone is forgetting who is supposed to be in control. Would you mind reminding me who lost a bet and should do what I want? I'm the one who's going to teach you how to behave if you keep provoking me like this."
"And that was supposed to be some kind of threat? You've barely asked me for anything today anyway, something tells me you lack a little courage, Touma."
"I saved the request until now. You could say it's a bit bold."
The girl felt a bit confused when he suddenly pulled away. Touma hadn't gotten up, yet he used his hand to hold her chin with just two fingers. His thoughtful eyes locked on hers, which sent her into a trance, her heart making noise again.
"Listen closely, Shokuhou Misaki," he said, almost whispering to her. "You commented that you wanted my title to be 'King', well, if that's the case, I think I need a queen, don't you?"
"Um... Touma-chan?"
"I want you to be my girlfriend, that's my request." He even shook his head, like someone satisfied with something. "See, don't underestimate me, I can be bold too."
"You don't come across as confident as you think considering I can feel your nervousness through your hand trembling on my chin."
"N-no, that's just a caress," he stammered and then looked away.
"Uh-huh." She shook her head too, but also cast a judgmental glance in his direction. "But you got a yes. It's not like I can refuse anyway, I'm obligated to do what you want after all." Misaki began to deny with her head and speak in a monotone voice. "Damn it, I'm being forced to date an older boy who doesn't have the slightest bit of class or scruples. What will become of me from now on?"
Before he could retort to the taunt, the sky became noisy, cutting off his words. The second round of fireworks had begun. But Shokuhou Misaki didn't care about any of that at the moment, the only thing she needed was right there beside her.
'I've done it,' she thought, admiring the boy who looked up, the light of the fireworks reflected in his eyes. 'I've finally done it.'
And the sparkle of those fireworks was nothing compared to the radiant smile on her face. That girl now had a reason to smile for real. Her happiness was right here, and would always be from now on.
Hello, dear readers! With the next step taken, the second part of the story ends, and we move into the third act. It is strange to say this considering that the story does not focus on an "overarching plot". Instead, it's more "quests" that Misaki goes on to fulfill in her interactions with Touma. You could say that she has one more "main quest" and one more "side quest", if you know what I mean.
What did you think of this love confession chapter? I did my best not to overdo the drama since this story has a very light mood, but I think it is important that all challenges are overcome so that these two can move on without regrets.
Now for the reviews:
Mrui2002:Thank you for reading. Him confessing there was kind of the idea of the first draft, but I discarded it pretty early on. I'm glad you liked it. I'll keep going until the end.
Cainabel201X: It's kind of in the plans, but not exactly on the beach.
5queso: A good present, isn't it? I've never had the chance to try this game for myself, but I will soon, probably next year. Did you like the drama of this one too? I hope so. Thanks as always.
Starmegalo: We'll have more brave moments from Touma in the future. I kind of have a similar theory. Thanks for reading.
Markoz89: I'm glad you liked it. Touma is in denial as always xD KnT is harmless.
SuddenBetrayal: The short answer to that is that it's kind of not the focus. It's only been four days since the memory recovery and Ayu is still in the juvenile hall, Touma will ask Misaki about this in the future, but I have no plans to develop something like this. Thank you for reading.
Blackshock: Good to know, I hope the drama in this chapter wasn't too much.
I've been a bit more brief in my answers today, there's a lot going on in my life at the moment, but that's true for everyone, isn't it?
Was the ending 'cute' enough to balance out the rest of the chapter? Our protagonists are now a couple, how much will their relationship and dynamic change with this fact? That's it. I'm leaving for now.
