"I'm not going anywhere."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two weeks passed quickly, and when Olivia stepped through the doors of the precinct on a sunny Tuesday morning, she had to stop for a moment and take a deep breath. If she had been told a couple of weeks earlier that she would soon be home and ready to go back to work, she would have been sure that the teller had received drugs with their food.

Although she and Elliot had not been at work and had sat most of the days during their 'vacation' in interviews organized by both the police and the health service, their colleagues had actively kept them informed of developments in the case. Father, or Andrew Shadowhill, had disappeared like ashes in the wind, and despite active searches, he had not been found. The interrogations of the guards, including Casper Greener, had not revealed anything new and significant; at least until now they had all claimed that they had only been in it for the money.

She knew little else about the other victims, except that each of them had been found a place where they could continue their lives. They had been told the truth about the "Paradise", and they had taken it each in their own way, some reacted more strongly, others more suspiciously.

However, the situation was more challenging for sold children. Some of the children had already lived with their new parents for almost two years, and the parents who had paid huge sums of money naturally did not want to give their kids away. Some of the victims did not even want their children back, but those who did were faced with a difficult situation, because as biological parents they had the right to their children, but the court considered that they were not yet psychologically stable enough to take care of them.

Annabel Simons had also given the detectives a headache because even though it was known that she had been one of Shadowhill's victims, for some reason she had still refused to talk.

The elevator doors swung open, and she stepped into the office, a warm feeling of familiarity immediately spreading inside her as she saw familiar surroundings, familiar faces, and her own desk. Accompanied by happy greetings, she walked over to her desk, sat down and sighed deeply. Looking up, she met Fin's brown, warm eyes.

"Welcome back."

"Thank you," she smiled, leaned back in her chair and turned on her computer. Everything seemed to be the same as before, the only reminders of the long absence were the dust accumulated on her desk and the computer password, which she suddenly couldn't remember.

"Where's Stabler?"

And at the same time, the familiar, warm, soothing feeling inside her was accompanied by an uncomfortable, cold sting.

"Kathy had to go to work early, so he is taking Eli to kindergarten."

The situation between her and Elliot was… Different, but it wasn't a bad thing, far from it. That night when she had gotten home, her partner had taken her home, asked to join her, " to sleep on the couch," and she had let him. He hadn't slept on the couch in the end, and he hadn't slept a single night at his own apartment since, but she hadn't asked him to leave either.

And the past two weeks had been surprisingly calm considering the circumstances. There were some triggers, for example the completely dark apartment made both of their heart rates go up, so the blackout curtains had been of no use. They woke up from time to time to their nightmares, sometimes talked about them for a long time in the middle of the night and were more tired in the morning than when they went to sleep in the evening. Otherwise, however, everyday life had gone surprisingly smoothly, without complications, as if life had always been this way, and even though Elliot had only "lived" with Olivia for two weeks, she had already noticed that she occasionally forgot how things had been before the kidnapping.

But everything was not as it was before. Sex. About a week after returning home, the atmosphere had heated up, both had been equally involved in the beginning, but suddenly some vague, uncomfortable feeling had flared up inside Olivia, and she had had to back off. Elliot had taken it well, hadn't pushed her, but when he had started snoring quietly after a while, an arm around her, tears had been burning in the corners of her eyes.

It wasn't that she didn't want him, no. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, absolutely not. But even so, the thought of what had happened on the farm, how their baby had been conceived, had made the want to die inside her, and all she'd wanted to do was curl up in a little ball under the covers.

She had brought it up in therapy where the therapist had assured her that it was just a trauma reaction, and she would be ready eventually. That Elliot would understand, no one had done anything wrong in the situation, and she needed to be kind to herself.

The therapist's words had lifted her spirits a bit, and she had been able to enjoy her partner's company again, to enjoy the fact that she was now, after all these years, allowed to kiss him, hold him, fall asleep in his arms as his fingers lightly caressed her belly.

And the more time passed, the more she knew that her heart had been right all along.

He was everything she had always wanted.

But glancing at his still empty table, she knew that everything, even the best things, had a price. And the knowledge of it cut into her guts like a knife.

They couldn't be partners anymore.

And the worst thing about it wasn't that they couldn't work together anymore. No, the worst thing was that they couldn't work together anymore. She would have to watch him go after life-threatening criminals, trust his safety in someone else's hands, and just hope he would come back in one piece.

"Liv," Cragen's voice interrupted her spiraling thoughts, and she took her eyes off Elliot's still empty table.

"Yeah?"

"I want you to go visit Annabel Simons," he said, and Olivia raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Me?"

Cragen nodded. "Yes. We need her statement to make sure it's the same case."

"I thought she isn't talking?"

"Not to us, but you are not the same. You experienced the same."

Olivia swallowed, but then sighed. "Okay. I can try. Do I take someone with me?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Fin begin to gather his belongings, only to be stopped by Cragen's response.

"Take Stabler."

"But I thought…" She frowned in confusion, but her captain shook his head.

"That's right, you and Elliot can't be partners anymore. But this is a special situation, and I think peer support is our last and only chance to get Annabel to talk."

Olivia nodded, and Cragen started walking back towards his office. But before he closed the door, he turned, a new, soft tone in his eyes as he added:

"And welcome back, Detective Benson."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot stopped the car in front of an old building in need of renovation in Harlem, turned off the engine and sighed. Olivia unbuckled her seat belt, grabbed the door handle, but when her partner, or ex-partner, didn't move, just clutched the steering wheel, eyeing the surroundings, she frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," the answer came too quickly, too unnaturally, too tensely, and she gave him a pointed look.

"El."

"It's nothing," he repeated insistently, without even making a move to get out of the car, and Olivia sighed. She raised her hand to the door handle again, but then she heard an indistinct murmur: "I just don't like this neighborhood."

"What's wrong with the neighborhood?" Olivia asked, looking out the windshield and looked around. True, the houses on the street were far from the shining skyscrapers of Manhattan further south, she wouldn't necessarily have wanted to walk down this alley alone in the middle of the night, but in the daylight the environment was not the worst in her opinion. However, Elliot seemed to disagree; he was looking ahead with suspicion flickering in his eyes, and that's when Olivia realized what it was. She laid her hand lightly on his shoulder, he glanced quickly at her, and she said in a calm, soft voice:

"I'll do just fine, El."

Elliot didn't answer, only let out a short snort, causing irritation to grow inside Olivia.

"What? You think I'm no longer a professional detective just because I'm carrying a baby inside me?"

When Elliot still didn't say anything, she snorted irritably, grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. But before she could step out, he said:

"I just don't like the fact that from now on you're on the field without me."

She closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and then turned her head towards him.

"I know. Trust me, I know," she emphasized her last words, making him finally turn his gaze on her. "But we knew this is the price, and life must go on. And I need you to trust me, the same way I need to trust you that you know how to take care of yourself. I need to trust you that you will keep yourself alive and, in the evening, you'll come home to me… To us," she said quietly, lightly touching her belly. Elliot looked at her for a moment, sadness and worry glinting in his blue eyes, but then a light, soft smile spread across his face.

"Home to you?"

The intensity of his gaze made Olivia turn her gaze ahead for a moment and snort.

"Well, I wasn't going to kick you out, at least not yet."

"Good to know. My own apartment is a trash can."

"Oh, tell me about it."

A momentary silence descended on the car, but then Elliot let out a soft sigh.

"I just… Fath- I mean Andrew, is still on the run. And he's a nutcase who's probably still after our baby. I know the cops are watching your apartment, but I can't help it that he still shows up in my nightmares and…" His voice trailed off, he turned his head away suddenly, and Olivia could almost hear him fighting back tears, the guilt of the past two months gnawing at his insides. So, she took his hand lightly, placed it on her belly, and said quietly:

"Baby is okay."

Then she raised his hand to her cheek and continued:

"I am okay."

And then she raised her other hand to his cheek and whispered:

"And we'll get through this together, okay? We cannot let fear win."

And before she lowered her hand and got out of the car, Elliot leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

7 months later:

"The glow of an expectant mother".

Just reading the headline made Olivia close the stupid, clichéd magazine and toss it on the couch with an irritated huff. Elliot had carried it with him from work the day before, Munch had apparently generously sent it to her with warm greetings, and just by seeing the cover she had known that he had not only had sincere thoughts in mind.

Seven months had flown by, and her life had changed so much in that time that if she had been told on the previous New Year's Eve what was to come, she would not have believed it for a second.

The new apartment alone was something she wouldn't have guessed. Elliot had persuaded her to move to a bigger apartment, and while she'd let him assume that the agreement was some big win for him, she'd really just been relieved. The kidnapping had happened in her own previous apartment, and it hadn't felt the same since, no matter how hard she had tried not to think about it.

And she hadn't moved alone, Elliot had moved with her. He had dragged his own kitchen utensils and television from his old apartment, life had settled into its course as if unnoticed, and only a month after the move the reality had hit her in the face.

She and Elliot were living together.

She and Elliot were in a relationship.

And she and Elliot would have a baby.

Even though her own life had been in great turmoil, the child in her belly had not cared that much about it and had grown and developed just like in the textbook. A life change with turbulent hormones had not always been an optimal combination, but gradually everyday life had begun to smooth out, except for her own emotional outbursts.

She had cried when she had heard her baby's heartbeat for the first time. She had cried when the baby's little foot had nudged her stomach for the first time. She had cried when Kathleen had tearfully said she was happy for her. She had cried when, after one dinner, Elliot had carried her to bed, talked to the baby and stroked her belly, she had felt so much love and felt herself so safe that she had finally let down her walls and let him take her, take her completely, and they had made love. She had cried when Cragen had put her on desk duty, and she had cried when he and Elliot had literally forced her to take maternity leave 2 weeks before the due date.

Father, Andrew Shadowhill, had still not been found. Suspicions that he had somehow managed to escape across the border had been raised so that the police guard arrangement in front of Olivia and Elliot's apartment had also been stopped as unnecessary. Apart from finding him, the case had been successfully completed, the guards were currently in prison, the victims had received justice, and several of them had also made a custody agreement with the court and the children's new parents. Her heart had been especially warmed when Caitlyn, who had asked her for help on the farm, had arrived at the precinct to thank them with her little son Connor, tears of happiness glittering in her eyes.

She and Elliot had also finally gotten Annabel Simons to talk. It had taken a while, but she had finally broken down into tears, and told how one night on her way back from the bar, she had been dragged into a car, taken to a farm, and eventually she had given birth to a son she had never seen again. They had managed to find her child as well, and now the boy lived with his biological mother for a week every month.

Olivia groaned, pushed herself to her feet with difficulty, and slowly straightened her back. The due date was only a week away, summer was at its hottest, and just lying on the couch made her sweat. She waddled to the fridge, still supporting her back, and only after opening it did she realize that there was nothing in there that she could have eaten for lunch.

The sun was shining brightly outside, the air inside felt stuffy, and she decided to take a short walk while picking up for food. There was a cafe almost next to their apartment that served delicious lunch salads, and since the heat made her crave nothing but cold and fresh food, she grabbed her keys and slowly began to walk towards the elevator. Soon she was outside, and she calmly began to walk towards the cafe, the sweat already glistening on her forehead. As if to counter the idea, the baby kicked hard, making her grimace.

"I know, honey, I might have overestimated my shape in this weather," she muttered, put her hand on her belly for a moment and stopped to catch her breath. Elliot wouldn't like this, she thought, almost hearing his worried and scolding voice in her head, but with a resolute shake of her head, she continued on her way, finally making it to the cafe. It was cool inside, she took a deep, relieved breath and got in line. The older woman in front of her glanced at her, and noticing her belly, a wide smile spread across her face.

"Oh, congratulations!" She exclaimed, Olivia flashed her a quick smile, placing her hands on her belly before the woman could unbidden touch it. Over the past few months, she had quickly learned to hate people who seemed to lose all sense of their own space when they saw a pregnant belly.

"Thank you."

"Are you all alone here?" She asked as she glanced around. Then the woman leaned forward, spoke to her belly, causing the discomfort to grow inside Olivia. "Where is your daddy, sweetheart?"

"He's at work."

"You shouldn't be here alone in that state."

"I'll do just fine, thank you."

The woman looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, but then she started to smile again.

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"It's… We don't actually know," she answered truthfully, because no, she didn't really know. At the ultrasound, the doctor had asked if they wanted to know the gender of the baby, but Olivia had already decided that she didn't want to know beforehand, and Elliot had agreed to her wish. She didn't want to prejudge the child, and for some reason she had felt freer not to know.

"How exciting," the woman smiled, the queue moved forward, and it was her turn to order. Relieved, Olivia looked out the window, watched the stream of people passing by, and suddenly her eyes caught on something.

And she felt her heart skip a beat.

She only caught a glimpse of him before he disappeared behind the houses, she couldn't be sure but he had looked so familiar, so…

Father.

"Ma'am?"

A voice in front of her made her quickly turn her head, and she met the questioning eyes of the cafe clerk. You could obviously read the startle on her face, because the cafe clerk looked at her worriedly.

"Are you okay?"

"Did you… Did you see that?" Olivia asked, turning her gaze out the window again, and out of the corner of her eye she saw the cafe clerk turn her head as well.

"Did I see what?"

"That… Man…" She answered, her pulse pounding in her ears, but then a sharp twinge in her lower belly made her grimace, bend, and she felt something warm start running down her thighs. She looked down, thought for a moment that she had spilled water on herself, but then the last color drained from her face when she realized it.

Her water had broken.

"Shit…"

"Sorry?" The cafe clerk turned to look at her, but seeing her wet pants, the wet floor, and Olivia's face contorted into a grimace, her eyes widened. "M-ma'am?"

"The baby," she gasped in a choked, panic-filled voice. "The baby's coming."