"Hello everyone. The author's life is going to take a different direction with his fanworks so the rest of the story is going to be cut short. But us Yoshimaizers are going to reappear in future toku works, but for now we are delving into the most important parts, the brass tacks to bring the story to a decent end." Jinx said to the audience.

"Whom is she talking to?" Takashi asked.

"Wall people!" Karashi said.

"I have long given up on trying to understand it." Tamariko said.

"Anyhow, you can continue with your backstory, Tammy!" Jinx said.

"Ok. Now, I am a Fangire as you can see. For the few whom don't know, we are a subspecies of vampires whom eat human souls instead of blood." Tamariko said.

"Ah, don't eat me. Here, eat his soul instead." Takashi said as he hid behind one of his minions.

"Please do, I can't stand working for this guy any longer." The employee said.

"I'm not going to eat souls." Tamariko said.

"Oh, you're one of the nicer Fangire, then?" Takashi asked.

"That too but I only eat the souls of people whom are so despicably evil that we can't even risk them ascend to the afterlife as they can risk getting revived. Only those types of souls I eat. Reluctantly but I'd do it for the greater good;" Tamariko explained.

"Are you going to eat my soul?" Takashi asked.

"Nah, you may be an immoral, selfish, misogynistic, sadistic and cruel f*** but you have nothing that would warrant eating your soul, not important enough in why anyone would need to revive you. Hell is good enough for you." Tamariko said.

"Not important…Ok, that hurt a bit." Takashi said.

"Anyhow, my family are Fangire traditionalists. They think of humans as nothing more then prey, humans need to be killed, used to feed on or prevented from evolving. And them and their ilk were all bigoted, close minded fools whom didn't realize the Fangire can never succeed in what they do. Humans still evolved since one conclave in Japan can't put the whole development of humankind on hold. Certainly since humans outnumber us and they already created technology that resulted in Super Sentai and Kamen Riders existing whom could wipe us out. It is all over the news and yet those mindless troglodytes were in denial." Tamariko said. "In short, I was probably the only Fangire I know off that thought how stupid it is to make enemies of humans."

"So you actually like humans?" one of the guards asked.

"Oh, at the time I didn't. I just thought it'd be better to not make enemies of them but I didn't care for individual humans. But I have been making human friends since and I do care now. Back then it was…more of a motivation of insuring survival. Easier said then done when no one listens. Our neighbor got crushed under the foot of Engine-Oh during a giant fight in full view and even then they refused to acknowledge the danger of humans to Fangire." Tamariko said.

"And then she used the power of SCIENCE to fix that." Jinx said, dressed in a labcoat and lab goggles with insane looking spiral patterns as she mixed what appeared chemicals in a few beakers. Once she was done she had a green liquid in it. She drank it and smacked her lips. "Melon flavor."

"She simplified it but yes I was a scientist. Other Fangire scientists were about improving Fangires to be stronger or live longer. I was delving in an another source of nourishment for Fangire to feed upon so we wouldn't have to kill humans and antagonize the human race as a whole." Tamariko continued.

"That sounds like a good idea." One of the guards said.

"You would think so but the other Fangires thought it as a waste of time. Because they are sadistic f***s whom enjoy the hunt, and enjoy hurting people and wouldn't give up their fav pastime in exchange for an easier energy source. In fact, when I refused to give up my research I had to go on the run or I'd be killed." Tamariko said.

"No one supported you? Even your family?" another guard asked.

"No, my family was horrible. In fact they were glad to get rid off me. I was after all born the wrong gender, too smart, I opposed their ideals and I refused to have myself being married off to the other family's inbred offspring. Not only am I lesbian, I also refused to be a trophy wife." Tamariko said.

"So you ran away and never saw them again?" they asked.

"Nah, I see them often. They're down in my lab and I used them as Guinea Pigs for my experiments." Tamariko said, just like someone talking about the weather.

"Holy s***. I know they were horrible but do they deserve that? What made them worse then other criminals?" one of the gaurds asked.

"Wanting to suggest a motion to the Checkmate Four about creating a farm where humans are bred to be cattle and beasts of burden." Tamariko said.

"Oh…yeah, that's pretty horrible. Yeah, I don't feel sorry for them anymore."

"Anyhow, I was on the run, and I ran into Karashi, the big sweetheart. Despite her being Legendorga, and hence enemy of Fangire, we were both traitors to our race and wanted a peaceful life." Tamariko said. She looked adoringly at the mystical snake woman.

"I drew a billygoat. I thought of naming him Henry. It's not the final name." Karashi said, pulling out a crayon drawing looking like it was made by a kindergartner.

"Very good, Kari. This one goes on the fridge." Jinx said as she reached into her bosom and pulled out an actual fridge. It was already covered in similar drawings made by Karashi.

"How does she…wait, you're going to say you don't know?" Takashi wondered.

"No, she has a pocketspace thanks to the Gangler safe in her chest." Tamariko explained.

"Oh…But wait, only high ranked Ganglers have infinite space in their vaults, is hers gold?" Takashi asked;

"It wasn't but I painted it gold and now I can store anything." Jinx said. "Screw you, Victoria, this is Jinx's secret compartment."

"Painting it gold, but that shouldn't…" Takashi said as he sighed. "Never mind, go on with the damn story."

"So anyhow, me and Karashi moved to Safehaven and became roommates." Tamariko said.

"Safehaven…the name tells me something. But I can't recall where I heard it." A guard noted.

"Oh it's a place where reformed kaijin and footsoldiers of evil organizations of the past settle down and try to make a new more honest living for themselves." Tamariko explained. The guard nodded in understanding. "Anyhow, later on Jinx came to apply to be our roommate.

"I remember the day." Jinx said fondly. "I said: 'Hello my name is Jinx and do you know it is a standard Gangler greeting to grab another woman's breasts?'"

"I knew she was pulling my chain but I let her do it." Tamariko said. "Don't look at me like that. I didn't have any intimate relations since I left the Fangire and I had needs. That and Jinx was super sweet and our physical relationship grew into an actual romantic one."

"And we included Karashi too, wasn't fair to leave her out." Jinx noted.

"I knew her for fifteen seconds but I already loved her." Karashi said. "Also sexy time is great!"

"Sure is." Tamariko said with a content grin on her face.

"So…The Fangire now live peacefully with the humans so how are things on that end for you?" a guard said, quickly changing the subject.

"Well, after King Taiga reformed the Fangire I was allowed to continue my research and I discovered the alternate energy source for Fangire to feed on. It also works for other species that need to feed on human life force like Legendorga." Tamariko said. "I kept living at Safehaven though since I made a lot of friends and found my fiancées there."

"The stuff is icky but people don't get hurt so I am happy." Karashi said.

"I am still working on a way to improve the taste without compromising its primary function. I also invented I-can't-believe-it's-not-human-flesh for Amazons and other maneaters." Tamariko said.

"They even made a commercial." Jinx pulled out a tv and the commercial started playing.

'Are you a man-eating monster? You need to eat people to surprise but you don't want to hurt people? Well do we got the stuff for you I-can't-believe-it's-not-human-flesh. The perfect substitute for human flesh. It got the taste and texture right and got the right amount of protein. You can enjoy it in peace without having to hurt anyone. Take it from a satisfied customer.'

'I turned into an Amazon ever since I drank water that was infected with that virus. I was afraid of hurting and/or eating my family upon becoming an Amazon. But thanks to this stuff my Amazon instincts no longer flare up and I can enjoy my life again. I even found a good job and plan to propose to my nobi and start a family. And it is also extremely affordable so I can save up for my future. I am so glad this product exists, cause it gives me my life back without me having to take lives'

'So you've heard it. I-can't-believe-it-isn't-human flesh works wonders. Order now and with each threepack you also get 'Neckbeard in a can'! Got some problem? Spray hair on it!

(jingle)

Eating people is far from the best

But now let's put that to the test

We'll make sure you won't regress

Just try I-can't-believe-this-isn't-human-flesh!

Now in three flavors: Normal, barbecue and sweet chili flavor!

"I'm not a fan of the jingle or the name but I work in science, and not marketing. I can live with it if it promotes the product well." Tamariko said.

"Wait a minute, I recognize that stuff." One of the guards said. "Didn't I see you eating that, Bakashi? You secretly an Amazon? Mirror Monster? Something else?"

"No, not at all. I thought it was a joke and I tried it. But it's pretty tasty, tastes like porkbelly. I go shopping for it each week." Bakashi said. People looked at him weird. "You can pretend you didn't hear that."

"So…moving on to the cute buff snake waifu's story!" one of the guards said.

"Oh, it's my turn?" Karashi asked, looking excited like a puppy. "I made drawings to go with it." She pulled said drawings out. She pulled out a first drawing, of her in a sort of tube and a creature in a labcoat. "There aren't much Legendorga left. So a few Legendorga said 'let's make more'. So they made me and others in a lab."

She pulled up another drawing, it was of her hugging another creature, with Karashi having her eyes closed and looked happy, the other one was angry and tried to get out of her grasp. "I was a really nice girl but the other ones weren't. So I tried to give everyone hugs so maybe they'd feel better and not be meanies." Another drawing, of a sad Karashi being scolded by the creature in a labcoat and crying. "They didn't like that."

Another drawing of what appeared to be a statue in pieces, another creature looking green and ill with a skull and crossbones above his head and a crying Karashi. "As Basilisk, I also have a stare that turns people into stone and strong venom. I don't like it since it hurts and kills people" Another drawing was Karashi running through a wall and happy, with a laughing sun and trees. "I escaped and I was free. Then I ran into Tamariko." She pulled out another drawing of her, sitting down covering her eyes as Tamariko approached her. "Tammy found me. I didn't want to stone or poison her but she said she is smart and could help me."

Karashi's next drawing was of Tamariko and a badly drawn undefined device and Karashi smiling, an arrow pointing at her with a text 'Karashi finally happy!' "Tamariko removed my venom glands and gave me new eyes so I can control my petrifying gaze, so I no longer hurt people. And then we met Jinx." Another drawing was of her, Tamariko and Jinx in a bed. It has the text 'sexy time is great'. "Now we're all happy girlfriends."

"She is a sweetheart and needs to be protected at all costs!" Bakashi said.

"That's the smartest thing you ever said, Bakashi." Another guard said.

"So…you are all done with sad sickly sweet backstories? Can I go on with destroying you three, then continue for me to exploit my work force to increase my wealth at the cost of their well being I don't care for?" Takashi said.

"Man, you're blatant about being a dick." Tamariko said.

"Yeah…I'm so used to get away with my blatant dickery I no longer feel like hiding it…and I don't know how to do so. It may be problematic down the line. But not now. Solds, attack!"

"Yeah, I hacked your Solds and gave them Singularity. They chose to no longer work for you!" Tamariko said as she dialed away at a device.

"Where did you get that? You don't have pockets. Or do you have weird powers like the bat whore?" Takashi said.

"One, call her that again and you are a smear on the wall. Second, no I just created a pocketspace where I can pull out inventions with the power of science." Tamariko explained. "Anyhow, Solds are free."

"Nice kitty!" Karashi was now petting a sort of white tiger female Sold Magia…whom was actually acting like a cat, purring as she was being pet.

"Er…though for some reason reaching singularity for that Sold in particular includes it acting like a pet cat." Tamariko said.

"Oh can we keep her? I'll call her Nyatsuki and I'll feed her and pet her and groom her and love her forever." Karashi said as she held up the White Tiger Sold Magia as if to show 'Look how cute she is!'

"We already got a pet." Tamariko noted.

"But Yoshi is Jinx's pet." Karashi pouted.

"Yoshi? Like does she have an actual Mario Yoshi as a pet. Because at this point I wouldn't put anything beyond her." The guard pointed at Jinx. Jinx sneezed and all of a sudden the wall she sneezed upon was covered in polkadots.

"No, it's nothing like that. Her pet is just named after a Yoshi." Tamariko explained.

"Oh, that's a relief. So your pet may actually be pretty normal-" The guard replied.

Then the wall collapsed and the face of a giant turtle monster poked through as it belted 'YOSHI!'

"Gah!" Takashi said as he jumped into the arms of one of his guards.

"That better be sweat running down your pants." The guard said as he unceremoniously dropped his boss.

"What is that?" Takashi asked as he pointed at the giant monster.

"That's our pet Gouram, Yoshi!" Jinx said.

"Hey Yoshi, you'll be getting a little sister. This is Nyatsuki!" Karashi said as she showed off the petified Sold. Yoshi's arm came through the wall and despite his size, he gently managed to put the tip of the turtle beak on his arm on top of her head and managed to gently give her head scratches which she enjoyed.

"I am not done yet! Guards, kill them all and scrap the Solds. I also have managed to buy a Heavy Industrial Machine from the Alienizer Black Market."

"Yeah, about that…I hacked your files, so all your crimes are now leaked online, the debts and blackmail on your employees are erased, evidence is left behind so that the ex-employees life you ruined can have their names cleared and the money that is legally owed to all of them has been deposited. Anything else of value was taken." Tamariko still had been dialing away on the device she used to hack. "Also we hijacked your mecha."

"What?" Takashi said. He looked around and now saw where Jinx was stood was a mop with a picture of Jinx's face and a sign that said 'Totally Jinx'. And then it fell over.

"We are going to leave, with the valuables we stole from your home and office." Tamariko said. "And our new pet because knowing myself, I'll give in to Karashi wanting to keep Nyatsuki anyways."

"I also take the vending machines. I don't have any coins so I'll pry the tasty chips out later." Karashi said as she now had two vending machines on her shoulders.

"No, not the tasty bag of high quality chips I deliberately overprice to get more money from my slaves in all but name…And I need to stop being blatant about me being evil." Takashi moaned. He heard someone clear his throat and saw his employees, all lined up, ready to kick his butt.

"You talk everything out with your employees, I'm pretty sure there is a lot to discuss." Tamariko said.

"Hey everyone, I got the mech!" Jinx said as she appeared in a Terrible Terror model. It looked like all the other models, only that its forehead drill has been moved to a very different spot.

"Jinx…did you find the Terrible Terror like this or did you mod it, because right now the drill is on its codpiece." Tamariko noted.

"Mod!" Jinx said with a smile.

"Should have known." Tamariko said as she, Karashi and Nyatsuki entered the cockpit.

"Wait, how does she even know how to pilot a mecha?" Takashi asked.

"You silly, this is the tokuverse. Everyone and their mom can pilot mecha." Jinx said as she turned the wheel on her mecha, and ran into a building. "Oops, sorry! We have to fix that."

"Allow me!" Tamariko sighed as she pulled out a laser and fired, and the building was fixed.

"You should patent that." Jinx noted.

"yeah, but there are first a few more corrupt corporate organizations to dismantle whom want to prevent that, not to mention find ways to implement regulations so that jackasses whom think they can get away with anything since the beam can fix it all will be inclined to act reckless and destructive." Tamariko explained.

"Mean people aren't why we can't always have nice things." Karashi said.

"Where are you going to find a way to park that thing?" a former guard of Takashi asked.

"In Safehaven there are lots of storage spaces for giant monsters and mechs. It is a common thing for evil organizations so it was taken into account when it was built." Jinx explained. "Now, you guys place nice with Mr. Takashi until the cops arrive, ok?"

"We will, and thanks for everything!" the guard said.

"C'mon Yoshi, let's go home." Jinx said as she guided her mech away.

"Yoshi!" the giant Gouram said as he followed his mistress. Though Jinx ran into a few buildings by accident, forcing Tamariko used the 'fix-it-gun' several times. And also because Yoshi may accidentally step on a few cars and monuments.

At the office, Takashi was hung upside down and trussed out like a pinata as one of the guards blindfolded himself and held out a baseball bat. Takashi's face was one of resignation. "I hate my life…"

There was the sound of a lot of Takashi being hit, painfully and screams of the little bastard. "Bakashi, don't take a bite out of him, we're supposed to only pummel him."

"I think I should stop eating 'I-Can't-believe-it's-not-human-flesh!" Bakashi admitted. "Do I need therapy?"

"YES!"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Well, this is the end. Sorry it had to be shortened but hope you still had fun. Don't worry, as mentioned before, we will reappear in Kiva's future works." Jinx said.

"Say bye to the wall-people, Nyatsuki!" Karashi added.

"Nya?"

"I still don't know what she is about but this was a good mission. A few riches to pay the rent and fund my research, we got another pet I guess and the mecha is a really nice bonus. I can't wait to modify it."

"Please keep the drill dick, because it's funny." Jinx noted.

Tamariko sighed. "It's not really practical though."

"You and your super duper smarts can find a way to make it work." Jinx noted. "Speaking of being drilled, once we're done, wanna both have your brains banged out?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I want to bang after a mission." Tamariko replied.

"I love sexy time!" Karashi said.

"Nya?"

"YOSHI!"