Chapter 2 : Sasuke is back to school.
Sasuke had only slept for 2 hours that night. His mind was wandering off and the crippling feeling of anxiety that shook him just didn't let him rest at all. His day hadn't even started and yet, he was already in a sour mood. His stomach was fluttering with anxiety, panic and apprehension since he was going back to school. It's only for his father that he decided to go to school today because honestly if he could, he would've hid himself until his memory recovered. And then, he could've gone back to being an asshole.
He was already very much awake and staring at the ceiling when he heard his mother's footsteps in the corridor. She knocked on the door, telling him to go wash up and that breakfast was ready. He exhaled, maybe a good shower could help him cool down ? The brunet got up, trying to ignore the overwhelmed feelings that took over him. With trembling hands, he opened the door to the bathroom, next to his room. Since he shared it with Itachi, he could access his brother's room by the bathroom. Peeling off his clothes, he entered the shower and let the hot stream hit his tensed up muscles. He let out a moan, it felt really good. After washing himself, he realized that he didn't have any clothes ready so he just put the towel around his hips. Sasuke still felt very anxious but it did help him get a little bit better.
"What…" he whispered as he saw Itachi's door slightly open. It seemed like the eldest was nowhere to be seen.
Carefully, Sasuke entered his brother's room without making any noise. The door that led to the corridor was wide open too, maybe he went to eat or something. The brunet held his breath as he took a look at the room in front of him. His first impression was that it was very big and wider than his own.
Itachi's room had nothing to do with his. The walls were naked, white with nothing on them. Everything looked plain, almost annoying. His bed was neatly made and everything was clean, nothing was staining the room. Unlike Sasuke's room which had a lot of blue going on, it seemed that Itachi preferred red. His bed covers, curtains and a round carpet were crimson red, contrasting with the white walls. But no pictures, no posters, nothing. Just a huge bookshelf and a lot of books resting on his own desk and black couch. Sasuke thought that it suited his brother well. His room looked just like he pictured him in his head. It was just very empty. Everything was neat and before Sasuke turned back, he noticed a frame sitting on his nightshelf. It was the only piece of decoration in his brother's room. Curious, he approached it and to say he was surprised was not enough to describe what he felt.
It was a picture of him and Itachi, when they were kids. Little Sasuke was grinning widely, showing all his teeth while he was on his brother's back who smiled fondly. Sasuke felt a pang in his heart, looking at the picture. They looked so happy and so close, nothing like the cold atmosphere that was now between them and probably long before the accident.
"I don't think it's good to stay naked, you could get sick." Interrupted a deep voice, making Sasuke jump. Itachi was standing on the doorway, holding a shirt and wearing nothing but sweatpants, letting his abs on display. He was staring at his little brother who blushed deeply. First because he got caught prying without permission, second because he was almost naked! And for how long was he there ? He didn't make any noise!
"I wasn't doing anything !" Sasuke exclaimed, feeling himself very hot. "Um, I got lost!"
Itachi looked at him with a curious expression, a smirk making its way into his face. Embarrassed, Sasuke felt himself getting all red and he stormed off, running to his room and closing the door. He gulped, closing his eyes as he tried to slow his heartbeat. He couldn't stop himself from blushing as soon as he saw Itachi looking at him with his weird stare. It was also maybe the first time he saw him in pajamas, and fuck, what the hell was that ? Why was his brother so hot ? Sasuke grumbled, he probably looked like the tomatoes his mom made him for lunch.
"Sasuke, breakfast is ready!" His mother yelled from downstairs, making him come back to Earth. He slapped his red cheeks and got up before he really got sick.
He finally looked at the mirror, staring at himself and his body for the first time. As usual, his hair was all over the place, spiky and messy. His eyes stared at his face before going down to his body. He knew that he was thin, but he also was a little bit muscular even if he looked even skinnier since he got out of the hospital. He had abs too, but not like Itachi's… He also had no body hair, nice, another insecurity unlocked, the Uchiha thought, now pissed off. He blushed, remembering the trail of pubic hair that went under his brother's sweatpants…Nature was fucking unfair. Why did he have to look so… feminine and boyish next to his older brother ? Why did the girls were after him and not his hot brother ?
Sasuke grimaced as he saw the hickeys that were slowly fading in his chest and neck. How did he not notice them before? Well, he avoided looking at himself in the mirror so that might be why…
Even now, even if his reflection is supposed to be him, he still felt like a stranger. Like someone else is in front of him, copying his movements. Sasuke just shook his head before he took the uniform that was folded in his closet. He grabbed the black pants and white shirt, putting them on and this time, he closed every button. He was not a fuckboy anymore. Sasuke also put on the cardigan and the red tie that went with it before grabbing his school bag and running downstairs.
"Wow, new look?" Asked Mikoto before chuckling behind her hand. At her son's confused face, she added : "Well… you used to wear this same white shirt without the tie, displaying your torso for the ladies~"
Sasuke just blushed, hiding his face with his hands as his mom awed at the view. He greeted his father who was holding a mug of black coffee. Then he sat, fidgeting with his hands, feeling uneasy again. Itachi was not there and honestly, Sasuke was glad. He didn't think he would be able to face his brother after his morning's humiliation…
"Sasuke, we got your phone repaired after it got destroyed in the accident." His father said, holding out a big ass phone that looked so expensive it hurt Sasuke to take it. "There's no password since we figured out you probably won't remember it."
That was probably the longest his father spoke. The brunet took it, biting his lips. He didn't know if it was a good thing but well… damn his curiosity. He turned it on, gritting his teeth as embarrassment filled him. Both of his wallpapers were pictures of himself… Ugh. He cringed and put the phone in his pocket, deciding to take a look later, ignoring the hundreds of notifications popping on the screen. His heart beat fast when his older brother arrived in the kitchen, holding his bag too. Unfortunately, he wasn't wearing sweatpants anymore, but a black v t-shirt that showed his collarbones and dark pants. To summarize, he looked hot as hell… Why did Sasuke look so damn 'zesty' next to him !
"Hello, kaa-san." Itachi's deep voice resonated in the kitchen, making Sasuke flinch. "Tou-san" he then said, nodding at his father before he took a seat next to his little brother.
"Thanks kaa-san…" Sasuke said, looking at the food his mother put in front of him. His appetite was completely shut down due to the fear he had inside of him… Okay, he admits it, he was fucking scared to go to school okay? His experience at the mall was enough for him and he was afraid to feel overwhelmed again!
"Itachi's going to take you to school." Fugaku ordered, looking at the eldest who just nodded.
"Then I am going to fetch you!" Mikoto exclaimed, all excited, her cheeks growing red. Okay now Sasuke knew why he blushed this heavily. "We're going shopping, eating… Oh my god it's been so long since I hung out with you!"
"You're really taking advantage of his amnesia aren't you…" His father mumbled, getting up to go to work. He kissed her goodbye and left the house, grumpy. Itachi arched a brow at his parents' antics before telling Sasuke it was time to go to school.
The brunet nodded, going to put his black converse on. Itachi joined him, putting on some Gucci shoes. He then followed him into the car while Itachi started the engine. For some reason, Sasuke was so fucking nervous. Sitting next to his brother this way felt so unnatural and uncomfy. He gulped when he gazed quickly at the eldest's huge veiny hands that held the steer wheel. Why did his mind make him imagine this hand around his own throat? He coughed, feeling his throat getting dry and his cheeks reddening.
"You used to go to school with Naruto-kun. By train. He doesn't live that far." Itachi just said, looking at the road. "I mean the days you were sleeping at home. Which were very rare."
Why did it sound like a reproach? Sasuke sighed, not answering to that and looking as they left the richest part of their town to the highway. Itachi kept driving in silence, making his little brother feel more and more uncomfortable. He was already very stressed out, he didn't need that in addition. He looked at the flourishing countryside, with sakuras and beautiful flowers. Flowers were nice. Sasuke looked back at his brother, who was driving with one hand. Damn, that's very sexy.
"Um so… what do you study…" Sasuke asked, feeling the need to fill the awkward silence. He was fidgeting with his fingers while he avoided his brother's eyes.
"Law." He just said, not wanting to pursue the conversation. Law seemed difficult and dark and all of that. It suited Itachi very well. Sasuke didn't want to annoy his brother anymore so he took his 'phone' again. He first opened the email app, where he found at least a hundred emails. Most of them were people asking him how he felt after the accident, some were 'when are you calling me back' ones and some were telling him that he deserved it for being such an asshole. Sasuke couldn't agree more. He clicked on his conversation with his mother and saw that it was only worried emails of her and him not really responding. The guilt came back to kick his ass and he gulped, looking this time at his emails with Itachi. He was the last person he sent an email to before the accident. He threw a gaze at his brother who was deeply in thought, still staring at the road. His conversation with his older brother was empty, there was only Sasuke's last mail.
from to
I fucking hate you.
That was the last email he sent before the accident, making Sasuke shiver with… anxiety. What the hell was that? What was it supposed to mean? That was so disturbing. (He didn't even want to look at the other mails with girls, and yes, he is going to ignore his mail address.)
"Do you think I could change my email address?" Sasuke asked his brother. "I am going to reset my phone. I saw… enough. And I don't want to have myself as a wallpaper, that's so annoying!" Itachi laughed at that, making Sasuke's tum flutter in a weird way. He gulped, looking away. After a while, the car stopped.
"This is your stop." Itachi said, looking at him. Sasuke was struggling to get rid of the seatbelt, starting to get angry at it and cursing it. The oldest smiled at the view before bending over to help him. Sasuke's heart stopped at how close Itachi was to him, and he blushed, looking at the window. "Done. It sometimes does that, I'll fix it one day. Have a good day Sasuke." Itachi said as he freed the youngest who was trying to stop his heart from beating this hard. Sasuke blushed and completely red, turned, ready to escape the car before his brother grabbed his hand. "Ah, wait. Give me your phone."
Sasuke gave him his reset phone. Itachi's fingers brushed lightly against his, making him remove his hand as if he was burnt. He ignored the confused look of the eldest and took his school bag.
"Here. I entered tou-san and kaa-san's mails, as well as mine." Sasuke took his phone back. "I have to go. If you need anything, message me or call me. Goodbye"
The youngest just waved his hand at him and turned to face the school. His stomach was all upside down, from all the overwhelming feelings he had since this morning. He gulped as the school held itself in front of him, big and menacing. It was the same feeling he had when he first saw his house. He exhaled nervously before walking to the imposing building, putting his hand on his chest to try calming himself. Everything's going to be alright Sasuke, he told himself, walking confidently to the lockers. Fortunately, it was quite empty. It seemed that the brunet arrived very early since Itachi probably wanted-no, needed to be there earlier than everybody.
"Where's my fucking locker…" he grumbled, not remembering anything.
He looked around, seeing a girl sitting on a bench, reading. After a few minutes, he sighed, approaching her. She was wearing the school uniform very properly, looking at her book. Her long dark bluish hair was falling on her shoulders and as soon as she heard his footsteps, she raised her head. She was really pretty, with beautiful lavender eyes and a shy expression.
"Um… hello.." Sasuke said, feeling suddenly shy. "Sasuke here."
She blinked a few times and Sasuke cringed. Man that was so awkward… He stayed in front of her as the girl still didn't answer him. A strong hand grabbed his shoulder and dug fingers in it, hurting him.
"Get the hell out of here Uchiha, I don't want you talking to her." A deep voice spat out, making him turn back. He was faced with a long brown haired handsome man who had the same lavender eyes as the girl, but they were glaring at him with disgust. From his appearance, it looked like he was in third year of highschool. Sasuke remembered him from the pictures, he was in the judo team. "Don't you think you caused her enough problems ?!"
"N-neji-nii-san it's-it's okay…" whispered the girl, putting her book in her bag. Neji approached Sasuke and grabbed him by the collar, so close that if one of them leant, they'd kiss. The brunet was completely lost, who the hell were these people?
"Stop yelling at me !" Sasuke said, breaking free from the strong grip. "I don't know who you are."
"Stop fucking with me!" Neji answered, getting angrier as seconds passed by. He lifted his hand, getting ready to punch the Uchiha who was glaring at him, confused and gradually pissed off with the weird situation happening in front of him. Sasuke closed his eyes as he saw the hand approach his face, but the impact never came. Instead he saw Naruto, holding Neji's hand with an awkward smile. For once, he was glad that this dumb blond boy was there.
"Easy there, Neji-kun, I told ya that Sas'ke has amnesia!" Naruto exclaimed, putting his arm around Sasuke's shoulder. "Hi Hinata-chan! You gotta stop being so protective of her."
The girl just grumbled something, her cheeks red, before grabbing her stuff and running away. Sasuke sighed, what was happening for fuck's sakes?
"What? So now it's my fault that she got bullied because of this stupid asshole?!" Neji said angrily, pointing at Sasuke who lifted both of his hands, innocently. "I hope you got some std that'll kill you." The brown man pushed the Uchiha on the floor before storming off, probably going to follow that poor girl. Sasuke exhaled heavily, forcing himself to ignore the feeling of guilt.
"What was that?" the brunet asked, making Naruto bite his lips.
"Um… it's not very pleasant to hear I guess but…" He started, fidgeting with his hand, uncomfortable. "You used to try to… have sex with Hinata-chan and you know her- well you don't anymore- but she's hella shy. She never answered when you talked to her and the other girls thought she was too arrogant and full of herself and they did really, like really mean things to her." Naruto explained, shrugging off. "And about that std thing, well you slept with like, a lot, like a reallyyyy lot of girls so yeah..."
Sasuke bit his lips, disgusted by himself. No wonder people were throwing him mean and nasty stares… He shook his head, not allowing himself to feel bad for something that he didn't really do and asked Naruto if he knew where his locker was. The blond smiled at him and guided him but there was still this heavy tension between them, so awkward and uncomfortable even if Naruto pretended like nothing was going on. He thanked him and removed his converse to put the uwabaki shoes, those japanese school slippers. He then followed Naruto to his own locker, watching him get off of his orange nike shoes. (Those were very ugly by the way.)
As soon as they stepped in the classroom, Sasuke got cornered by a bunch of people, not only girls. They were fawning at him and the brunet felt himself getting overwhelmed by all these people trespassing his boundaries. He recognized the Sakura one and another dumb looking blond girl who looked an awful lot like a Deidara.
"Hello Sasuke-kun! Is it true that you lost your memory?" asked the gum haired, clasping her arm with his before she pouted, trying to act cute. "You don't remember me..?" The blond one did the same with his other arm, rubbing her boobs against his torso, making him feel uncomfortable.
"Sasuke-kun… wanna skip first period and get freaky with me in the bathroom like we used to?" She whispered in her ear, making him shiver and not from excitement but disgust. "I'll let you take me from behind since you love it so much…"
He just looked at her, his mouth slightly open, not really knowing what he was supposed to say. More and more people came to him, asking questions about his amnesia, asking to have a date with him, asking for roses and flowers. Sasuke was about to explode, his hands shaking in his pockets, when the teacher entered the room, going directly to his desk. He had this weird look going on, with really pale skin, near white and long dark hair.
"I see that even with amnesia, Uchiha-san's antics never change." He said, making the brunet blush and everybody laughing in the classroom. The teacher then smirked. "As long as you stay the top student of my class, I have nothing to say."
The bell rang, dismissing the students and making everybody go to their desks, disappointed to leave Sasuke. The latter was just standing by the door, not really knowing where his seat was. The teacher approached him from behind, making him awkward.
"As you can all see, Uchiha-san had an accident. Never drink before you drive, kids, do not take Sasuke-san as an example." The teacher then said, snickering. "You sit in the front row, as expected from an Uchiha. I am also quite relieved to hear that you didn't forget about school material."
What did he mean, drink ? No one mentioned anything about drunk driving. Confused, Sasuke went to sit in the only free seat, in front of the teacher's desk. He gulped, not missing his teacher's stare on him as he started his class when the bell rang for a second time. Surprisingly, it was quite easy to follow through the morning classes, maybe his past self wasn't that dumb. As soon as the bell rang, signaling lunch period, Sasuke ran from the classroom, his bento secured in his hands. He went to the rooftop, apparently it was forbidden for the students but Sasuke found a key in his pocket. As he was climbing the stairs, he bumped into someone very small.
"So-sorry!" exclaimed a voice, owned by a small first year who looked at him with fear. Sasuke just arched a brow, gazing at the petite thing who was about to shit himself from being in front of him. The small guy bowed at him, with tears in his eyes. "Sorry Sasuke-senpai…"
"Um, why are you apologizing ?" He asked, confused, making the guy get up.
"Don't beat me up!" he then said, storming off, leaving a lost Sasuke who blinked a few times.
"You have quite the reputation here, huh!" said a very familiar voice, behind here. "I looked for you everywhere, thought you were eatin' at the canteen as you usually do, with your dumb fans surrounding you, duh! "
Sasuke turned around, not very surprised to see Deidara standing there, with his smug stupid look. The brunet just sighed, deciding to ignore him, going to the rooftop and sitting on the tiles, opening his bento. He smiled as he remembered his emotional mother handing him his lunch. He was very grateful.
"Wow, The Great Sasuke smiling? Is the world ending huh?" Deidara snickered, sitting next to him. He drank from his juice box, holding a yakisoba pan in the other hand.
"What are you doing here? I thought you hated me?" The Uchiha finally asked, narrowing his eyes at him, acknowledging his existence.
"Yea I do, duh! But Tachi-kun asked me to watch you in case somethin' bad happens." Deidara said, stuffing his face with his yakisoba pan. "I don't wanna piss 'im off, he's the worst when angry huh."
Sasuke just shrugged. His mom made him tuna onigiris and packed him some fruits. Nice. He liked fruits. He started to eat in silence, missing the mysterious gaze Deidara gave him.
"You ain't gonna talk, huh ?" He then asked, raising a brow. "Usually, you'd have insulted me a long time ago."
"Not really. I have nothing to say to you." The Uchiha answered, surprising the blond. "And leave the 'usually's out of here, I am not the same person anymore."
"Well, Sasuke #2 is surely very interesting huh! You don't wanna know about #1 ?" Deidara teased, with an enigmatic smile on his face. Sasuke gulped. Of course he had thought about asking what kind of person he was prior to the accident. But he was just fucking scared. From the little he knew about himself, he was just an asshole. Deidara smirked, seeing that the youngest didn't reply. And from what he experienced this morning, he was an asshole that probably had an std.
"Well? Thought you'd be more curious than that, Sa-su-ke-kun!" he chanted. Sasuke just frowned his brows, not falling for his tricks. "You don't wanna know how you were with Tachi-kun~?"
That seemed to work, Deidara thought as he saw the curiosity lighten up Sasuke's eyes. The youngest always had this weird creepy interest towards Itachi.
"Fine…" The Uchiha said, his heart beating fast in his chest. He was too curious for his own good but Itachi was… he didn't even know why he agreed to that but he just needed to know. After all, Itachi was his… older brother yeah. So his curiosity was totally valid.
"You were just a fucking asshole." The blond spat out, his eyes darkening. His voice was strangely calm, contrasting with the harsh words he was saying. "You don't even need me to say how much I hated you, it's not enough. You'd always make fun of people, walking around like you were some stupid god above us, that made me so fucking mad ! Always treating your family and friends like shit, always getting away with it because of your dumb pretty face and your name! I hate you so bad !"
Sasuke just stared at him, his mouth slightly open and he gulped. He was tense and his tummy was hurting him because of the anxiety that suddenly burned him. Deidara looked back at him, getting closer with his face.
"You'd call me a loser, a faggot, a homo, everything that came into your evil mind to make fun of me. You outed me to the whole school, telling everybody that I was gay and that I sucked the principal's dick to get into this dumb prestigious school. You'd bully Sasori for loving me, for always standing up for me, you'd write my phone number and email contact on bathroom's stalls, telling that I was a slut. At first, I thought that you had it personal for me, but when I learnt what you did to other people, I simply understood that you were a piece of shit. Because that's what you are. You suck so bad that you need to lash out on other people, on your own parents, threatening to kill yourself or to report them to the police if they didn't buy you something. Making your own mother cry because of how you spoke to her, making her worry when you never returned her calls or emails to go sleep at other chick's houses." Deidara kept on going, like an endless list. "And don't even get me started on how you behaved with Tachi-kun. Of course it hurt when you insulted me, but nothing pissed me off more than when you hurt him, because he was always defending you, protecting you and I never understood why when you'd bully him too. When I saw you, I just hoped that you'd die. And now you had an accident that made you forget everything ? It's so fucking unfair. You deserve to pay for what you did! For the people you hurt!"
Deidara finished, with tears in his eyes. He threw his juice on Sasuke's face, who was looking down.
"I hate you so bad! I had to go to therapy because of you! I had to change classes because of you! I had to drop out of the art club where I was president because of you! Because you spread stupid rumors about me! I nearly got raped because of you !" He stood up, yelling as he cried. "Just die already! No one likes your stupid self-centered, egotistic, dumb ass!"
"Fucking asshole, I thought that lashing out on you would make me feel better, but I just feel like I am you." The blond whispered, throwing his napkin on top of Sasuke's head, wet and sticky from the juice. "Raise your head! Fucking take responsibility for what you did!"
Sasuke slowly lifted his head up, looking at Deidara with empty red eyes, tears streaming from them. His whole mouth was quivering and he was trembling. The eldest just looked at him, astonished to see such a facial expression in Sasuke's face. Sasuke's tears mixed with the remnants of juice on his face, his eyes locked onto Deidara's as he absorbed every painful word. His own guilt weighed heavily, intermingling with Deidara's anguish. He felt the weight of his past actions crashing down upon him, a heavy burden he could no longer ignore.
"And what?! I am sorry for what he did but that's not me anymore ! I don't have to apologize or to be held responsible for things that I would never do and never did!"
Sasuke's fists clenched at his sides, his voice cracking with a mixture of anger and sorrow. "Losing my memories wasn't some convenient escape from the consequences of my actions. I can't change what I did, and I won't pretend that I can." He wiped at his tears impatiently, his voice still trembling. "Just leave me alone! Leave the fuck out of me alone! I can't help it if I used to be an asshole !"
He watched as Sasuke got up with wobbly legs, leaving the rooftop, not even bothering to take his lunch with him. The Uchiha walked through the empty school since everybody was out, eating lunch or having fun. He opened the bathroom door, washing his face and hair, sticky from the juice.
He felt so… empty. Like he wasn't even alive. Sasuke angrily whipped his tears with his sleeve as he gritted his teeth. He stared at his reflection and heard voices getting closer and closer, so he hid into the first stall he found.
"You saw that Uchiha bastard ?" A first voice started, making him hold his breath. "He used to walk with such prestance like he was a fucking prince. He makes me so fucking mad !"
"Yeah that dumb motherfucker. He deserved that accident." A second voice piped out, making fun of him. "He slept around so much that he probably got some stupid std!"
This std thing again ? Sasuke was getting annoyed by that, sighing. He waited for them to walk out, listening to any noises in the corridor. He heard girls calling his name and just sat in the toilet. Sasuke didn't say anything, just ignored the feeling of his stomach sinking. Fuck that shit, he thought. He was already feeling pretty down because of what Deidara told him. The blond was really shaken up and Sasuke felt like utter shit, but he couldn't dwell into that feeling forever. He could've apologized, sure. But that meant nothing to him and probably to Deidara too. The brunet raised his legs, hugging them as he put his head on his knees. He knew. He knew that he used to be an asshole but that much ? No wonder his relationship with his family was strained and awkward ! He bit his lips, trying to make the strong feeling of guilt go away. The more he learned about himself, the less he wanted to recover his memories.
After finally calming himself, Sasuke went back to the rooftop which was now empty to retrieve his bentô. The bell rang and he sighed, going back to the classroom. The brunet considered skipping but he sighed. He used to cause so much trouble that he didn't want to keep on going. Dragging his feet, Sasuke went to his seat and lucky him, the teacher was already there. That meant no one could bother him. That creepy Orochimaru was already staring at him as he sat down. He heard some girls gush over him and some whispers, making him feel uneasy, biting his lips. He hated all of this attention on him all the time, like he was some sort of pop star or something. He was just trying to be him and survive.
And that stupid dumb teacher who sent him to the board, he seemed to love putting the spotlight on Sasuke. That made him so mad. When the classes ended, he felt relieved and a little bit excited to spend time with his mother. He smiled, raised his head and faced a surprised Naruto.
"Dude where were you! Everybody was waiting for you at lunch!" Naruto exclaimed, slapping him hardly on the back, making him choke. He didn't answer, making the blond raise an eyebrow. "All the girls were asking for you."
Sasuke just sighed, annoyed and Naruto grinned. At least there was a thing that hadn't changed in Sasuke's behavior. "Let's go to practice dude!" Naruto said, very loudly, making Sasuke wince but before he could say anything, the blond grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the classroom. Girls were trying to talk to him but Naruto was running, not allowing them to. They left the school and found themselves in front of a dojo where apparently they used to practice. In front of it, they met with an ugly guy with big furry brows and another red haired one who looked so scary with his eyelined eyes and his tattoo. He looked like a punk or a yankee. Damn, those red-haired people were everywhere. The thick brows one bowed immediately when he saw Sasuke who looked confused for a whole minute.
"Oh right! Sas'ke, this is Rock Lee! He is a member of the judo team." Naruto explained to him as the brunet nodded, grateful. "And this is Gaara-kun, his boyfriend and one of my best friends too, tehe! He is in the gardening club, he usually comes to watch Lee-san!"
"Hello Naruto-kun." Gaara greeted his friend, completely ignoring Sasuke. Rock Lee was still bowing and Sasuke was very uncomfortable. Why did he bow to him anyway ?
"Um, Sas'ke I forgot to tell you but you're the captain of the judo team so…" Naruto trailed off, noticing the discomfort of his friend. "He is also a bit of a fanboy I guess…"
"So, is me being openly gay still an issue for you, Sasuke-san?" Gaara asked, his green eyes smiling at him. The Uchiha just turned to Naruto, a confused look on his face. "Oh right, I forgot that you lost your memories. Meaning you have no idea what kind of asshole you were."
Sasuke blinked at him a few times. He bit his lips, the guilt coming up again. He felt overwhelmed, Deidara's words coming back into his mind.
"Gaara-kun, please-" Naruto started but was quickly interrupted.
"Naruto-kun, even if I respect you a lot, I still don't understand why you hang out with trash like him. It's very easy to pretend to have lost your memories so you don't face any consequences. I won't fall for your act though." Gaara spat out at him. "It's disgusting thinking that I once was your friend and that I cherished you."
The brunet just squatted down, hiding his face into his arms, his belly hurting too much with anxiety. His hands were shaking again, and curling up into a ball seemed the safest option Sasuke had. He felt a comforting hand on his shoulder, probably Naruto's since he was the one next to him.
"Oh that's quite a surprising reaction. I thought you'd just punch me or insult me like you used to." Gaara said, crouching down to get at his level. Sasuke lifted his empty eyes at him, staring right into Gaara's green ones, not really knowing what to answer. They looked at each other, the tension so thick it made everybody (except Lee, that guy was so oblivious to everything) uneasy. Gaara's green eyes were smiling, no, they were mocking him. "Your eyes look different."
The bell rang as Gaara got up, staring at him weirdly. He waved goodbye, having to attend his own club's activities. As Sasuke stood up, he looked at Rock Lee who gave him a huge smile and a thumbs up. Naruto sighed, rolling his eyes.
"I wish you a good recovery Sasuke-san!" Lee exclaimed, full of joy. "Now let's go to practice!" The guy went ahead and entered the dojo. Sasuke looked at Naruto, who just shrugged, with a big grin on his face.
As their instructor, Gai, said, Sasuke was still fresh from the hospital. That meant he just sat on the bench, looking at his supposedly team training. He was supposed to be the best of their school at judo, but he remembered nothing. Apparently, judo was linked to some of his personal memories, so yeah… no more judo for Sasuke. They had a competition coming so Gai decided that Neji (who was the vice captain) would fill Sasuke's position until the latter recovered his memories. It frustrated him a little bit, seeing Neji's smug smirk directed to him but he just shrugged it off. He looked at the sweaty boys, feeling himself blushing as he stared at Neji's beautiful long hair moving. It reminded him of Itachi's.
He looked as Kiba, another guy from the team and Naruto got ready to fight. Finally something interesting, he was starting to get bored. Their hands and feets were moving quickly and Sasuke found himself hooked onto the movements. The match ended when Naruto pinned Kiba down and Sasuke stood up, clapping his hands excitedly. Everyone looked at him with wide eyes, not expecting this kind of reaction from their previous captain, making him uncomfortable. He just sat down again awkwardly, ignoring the stares. Practice ended and he got up from the bench, grabbing his bag and ignoring Neji's provoking insults.
"We like the new you, Sasuke-senpai." Some of the underclassmen told him and he didn't know what to say. "It was very cool cheering up for Naruto-senpai!"
"Yea it's better when you're not around running your dirty mouth!" Naruto teased and Sasuke nudged him with his elbow, blushing at the sudden closeness. His friend smiled at him fondly.
They all went to take their shower and Sasuke just waved at his team but as soon as he got out, he was cornered by girls again. There was always that damn pink haired girl and that long haired ponytail blond looking dumb one. They followed him everywhere, damn.
"Sasuke-kun, you told me I could call you whenever I needed but you never answered…" she started, blushing and looking away.
"I also really love your new haircut, it's so so so cute!" the blond one said, smiling. "And those hands…"
"Not interested." He politely answered and all the girls cooed at him. He tried to wave them off but they wouldn't leave him alone. Sasuke sighed, afraid that his mother would see him surrounded by girls and that she'd think that he didn't change at all. Overwhelmed, he turned around, getting ready to yell some nasty things.
"Sasuke!"
Everybody turned at that moment and gasped. Mikoto was standing near the gates, leaning against her convertible car, wearing lipstick and sunglasses. She looked so charismatic and beautiful, holding her Chanel bag and smiling at him. She was wearing a two piece suit and high black heels. His mom waved at her son who smiled shyly, approaching her.
He smiled as Mikoto put on the radio, the wind caressing both of their faces while they laughed. How could my old self miss all of that, he asked himself, smiling widely to his mom who looked at him with a sad smile. They went to a mall, quite far from where they live and Sasuke was very glad because he didn't bump into someone who knew the old him. They ended up buying clothes for Sasuke who decided to get rid of everything that reminded him of what he had done to people before. He decided not to be a bad person anymore. At least to his family because the others were still strangers to him… Mikoto was just telling him to buy everything he wanted, not caring about the price. They also ate dinner outside in an expensive place and Sasuke learnt that his mother was a family lawyer but took some time off because of his...amnesia issue. She had laughed when she saw his surprised face, and she, very fondly, told him that it was why Itachi wanted to be one. It was cute.
Mikoto looked so happy as she talked a lot and Sasuke couldn't help but feel guilty. She was oversharing, overtalking about everything… She was so happy and hugged him, held him wherever they went. They put on the radio on the way home and sang their hearts out even if he didn't know the lyrics. He looked at Mikoto, the wind blowing her beautiful long hair as she was driving and couldn't help the tears that flowed into his eyes.
"We're home !" Chanted his mother as she opened the door, hands full of bags. "Sasuke and I went shopping!"
His mother ran to the living room, jumping on Fugaku, who was surprised to see her that much happy. Sasuke directly went upstairs, tired and honestly, very overwhelmed. Even if hanging out with his mom helped him feel better, Deidara's words were still playing in his head as well as Gaara's. Sasuke bit his lips, his mouth starting to quiver. He was so… everything was so much. He felt so angry at himself. He remembered his mother's excited and sad face as she talked, probably filling up a hole in her that's been there for years. He squatted down, putting his head into his arms. I hate you ! I fucking hate you ! Sasuke thought, his heart aching and hurting so much. He couldn't help but start crying, trying to quiet his sobs. Everything was hurting, everything was too much. His stomach was upside down, his heart was pounding, threatening to leave his rib cage. The urge to vomit welled up inside him as he cried, his mouth and body shaking. He hated himself. He just wanted to disappear completely. He felt as if his body wasn't his anymore, not being able to breathe well. Sasuke started choking, he tried inhaling and exhaling but he just couldn't. He put his hand on his chest, but the tears just kept flowing and the anxiety rising until it blocked his throat, drowning in his own overwhelming feelings.
And he still had to think about that STD issue that everybody seemed to bring out everytime.
But he was a minor… And he needed the money to do the test. He bit his lips. Maybe he could ask… Naruto? His supposed best friend ? But that'd be so awkward and Naruto already seemed uncomfortable with him. He just sighed and collected himself, going to his desk to drown himself in his homework. He didn't want to cause any more trouble…He went downstairs with his books and found his parents, drinking tea in the kitchen. His mother was reading from her ipad and writing some things in a notebook, fully concentrated while his father was working on his computer. Fugaku arched a brow at Sasuke's obviously puffy eyes but said nothing.
"Where's Itachi? I didn't see him at all." Sasuke asked, sitting next to them and opening his books.
"He stays late, he does some tutoring and takes extra advanced classes." Fugaku answered, not looking from his macbook. "How… How was your day?"
"Good I guess. I am still getting used to… whatever is happening." He definitely didn't talk about his conversation with Deidara or the fact that he might have an std. "And I had a good time with kaa-san. And… you ?" It was still strange to talk to the man who's supposed to be his father. He was just so, so intimidating with his constant frown and superior look. At least now Sasuke knew where he got that arrogant attitude.
"Good. Business is doing well, as usual." Fugaku answered, after a while. Maybe he wasn't expecting Sasuke's question.
Mikoto smiled at Sasuke, pouring him tea. He drank some and started working again, in silence. After a while, they were interrupted by the sound of the door closing. Itachi walked in, clearly tired from his day and raised a brow at the strange scene in front of him.
"It's the first time I've seen Sasuke sit with you here." He just pointed out, kissing his mother on the forehead and nodding at his father.
"Yes. It's good, isn't it ?" Mikoto replied, with a soft smile. "Did you eat?"
"No, but I am tired, I just want to shower and sleep." He said, taking a glass and filling it with water.
Sasuke couldn't help himself but stare. He always had this urge to look at Itachi, everytime the oldest was around him. The highschooler was always so curious and eager to see his brother move, breathe, live. He stared as Itachi chugged down the water, thirsty. He stared as Itachi wiped his mouth properly before putting down the glass. His eyes opened, looking at Sasuke too, with an unreadable look, licking his lips, but Sasuke suddenly felt very hot. He took his books and stormed off, leaving his family confused. After a while, when he heard no noise in the house, he decided to go grab something to eat. Everybody must be sleeping. Sasuke went downstairs and as expected, it seemed like no one was there. He took an apple and as he was going back into his room, he saw something move behind him. Turning back, he was so shocked that the apple fell from his hands.
Itachi was standing there, out of the bathroom downstairs, wearing nothing but a boxer. He was blow drying his hair and didn't notice Sasuke that was literally staring at him. The heated wind made Itachi look like he just got out of a movie scene. His hair looked so soft and Sasuke suddenly wanted to touch it. He gulped, his eyes going down at his brother's muscled torso, his hard nipples from the heat, his traced abs, his-
"Sasuke ? I thought you were sleeping."
His eyes widened, not noticing that the sound of the blow dryer was long gone and that his brother was looking at him, confused. Sasuke felt his cheeks burning and he just opened his mouth, saying the first thing that came into his mind.
"Thought no one used this bathroom…" he uttered, looking away. But Itachi approached him, picking up the apple that was still on the marble floor. Sasuke tensed up, completely unable to move, red as hell. "Um…Foggy…"
"Hmm well I do." Itachi answered, staring at his little brother as he held out the apple. With trembling hands, Sasuke grabbed it and stayed still.
Something happened in the brunet's stomach who felt his heartbeat getting faster and his mouth getting dry. He was focused on the little drop of water running in Itachi's abs before getting lost in the boxer showing his perfect hips. What the hell was happening to him ? "What do you want?" he then asked, arching a brow.
"I just- nothing !" Sasuke screamed, his face completely red before turning away and running upstairs.
He closed the door of his room, resting a few minutes on it, his heart menacing to exit his body. He blamed it on the embarrassment and awkwardness.
Itachi is beautiful, he found himself thinking.
"What the fuck…" He whispered, looking at the tent that was forming in his pants. "What's wrong with me…"
He was hard as a rock, unbuttoning his pants and boxer, freeing his penis as it slapped against his stomach. With half closed eyes, the brunet just brushed the tip of his member and moaned, clapping his hand over his mouth, not to make any sound. His back arched as he started to move his hand up and down, stroking himself slowly. A big wave of pleasure took over him and Sasuke gritted his teeth, fastening his pace. How the hell was he so sensitive? He felt so horny, so desperate to get off, so eager to cum. He heard another moan coming from his mouth, as he pictured Itachi's body in front of him. He imagined his brother's hand instead of his, on his dick, stroking him fast and nice. Heat pooled into his belly, feeling like he was getting high. He imagined his brother's luscious lips on the tip of his hard cock and that was enough to send him to the stars. He came hard, his body shivering for a few minutes, the pleasure running through every part of his.
After coming down from his climax, Sasuke felt tears prinkling in his eyes, disgusted about himself. He'd just jerked off and cummed, thinking of his older brother.
And worst part is that it felt fucking good.
