Boa- Duvet
Chapter 42
Renesmee and I rushed into the house eager to see everyone was alright. While she ran into Emmett's arms and was handed around for hugs, I watched, taking attendance and looking them over. Hardly a scratch on anyone, maybe some scuffs of dirt. Rosalie caught my eye and gave me a smile.
I was relieved. And subsequently filled with guilt. They fought for us, something they couldn't see coming, each mate at risk, and didn't blame us for it.
I wish I could say I relaxed and felt like we could on take anything when we hugged- I, unequivocally, accepted into the family. But, so long as we were together...
"Edward...?" I called from the doorway.
"Hmm?" he hummed. I couldn't tell if he was genuinely into the book he was reading or not.
"Was there nothing else, in their thoughts?" I asked, slowly getting into bed with him. He glanced at me, needing no explanation, and put down his book and sat up.
"Malice," he sighed. "I wish I could understand. They were disappointed they couldn't have a hand in the fight, Felix and Dimitri," he said, switching tones.
"Jane, she... she's closer to Aro. Almost a favorite." he started.
"Is she...very powerful?" I asked. Something flashed in his eyes.
"I'm certainly glad you weren't there," he said.
"Wait. The girl," I said, suddenly remembering. Edward sighs sadly at this. He shakes his head as if words weren't enough.
"She surrendered, but...they said it wasn't up to us, and they... killed her. Not before Jane used her ability to inflict indescribable pain on her,"
"Edward...I'm so sorry," Edward stares at me for a second, then returns to stare ahead of him.
"I wish I could understand. It makes no sense. Why would Carlisle create an army of his own to topple Aro?"
"Is that what they think?"
"Aro is suspicious of it. Thinks he could. That's why they were here, hoping we'd meet our end. At least Jane was hoping for that, so she wasn't replaced. If she was no longer Aro's favorite, the best ability he had in his arsenal- She's afraid of being replaced because it would mean there was less reason to keep her alive."
"And there are others he has his eyes on," I said.
"He's always looking, to absorb them into his army."
I chewed on my lip. During our conversation, our hands found each other and held fast to comfort each other.
"To become all-powerful."
"What?" Edward asked.
"What they did, killing that innocent girl- the strict rules people have to follow- how many 'innocent' people have died? Anyone who witnessed such a thing would hate them," I said. Even I hated them, albeit mostly feared them.
Edward stared at me with his furrowed eyebrows.
"They're wrong about Carlisle ever taking a stand against them. But they're not wrong about possibly being hated enough for such a thing to happen in the future. They rule with fear, right? Don't people get tired of dictators quickly?" Edward sighs, finally understanding what I meant.
"Maybe we're not the only family they were a threat to. Maybe others...maybe others tried to protect themselves. Protect the only family they had to bear a long existence with. Isn't fear reason enough? Enough to be brave?
But Carlisle has no plans to replace them," I continue. "What if others make him, or someone else just takes it?"
"If they become all-powerful, it can squash any possible threat they may have," Edward said. He hung his head.
"...maybe, if we stick to ourselves?" Would we be left alone and avoid any suspicion of an uprising? Or would Aro still want to come after Edward and Alice?
Edward grips my hand.
Nothing is more powerful than love, I thought. Admittedly I did nothing, but the Cullens and Jacob faced an entire newborn army just for Renesmee. I would have if I could, without a second thought or any consideration of my own safety. I faced the elders by myself.
Now add up all of the people the Volturi had backed into a corner. That's a potential problem, and they weren't going to allow 'potential' to be possible.
Carlisle was loving and charismatic-
"Shhh, don't worry. We'll take it day by day," he said, rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand.
But he's insane. What if-
Edward shakes his head at me.
I never brought up the topic again after that night. For a moment, I wondered if just admitting Renesmee was ours would get them off our backs. If we were honest and proved we were innocent, harboring no ill will- But the risk was too great. I'm not bringing Renesmee to them to prove it.
Even if Aro let it go, Renesmee-being-a-new-addition, we'd forever be under his thumb. No matter what, we were.
Carlisle got back from treating the wolves that night and let me know Jacob and Leah were ok. It was pretty incredible he was allowed in to treat them; not like they had a choice. Hopefully, they were nice.
"Jacob didn't have a message to send back, but he said he would call," Carlisle said. Something told me Jacob would call much later than I hoped and that they'd be rare. I suppose I've been through this before. I pitied Renesmee and hoped she'd forget him.
I wondered if Alice knew Jacob would get hurt this bad. Would she have told me if she'd seen it? Would I have made greater efforts to keep them from fighting? If the wolves listened, that would have decreased the Cullen's chances of survival making me a...
I tried stopping them. They were kids (Wasn't that the right thing?). I tried because they really had no idea what they were throwing themselves into, and I couldn't handle being responsible for what happened. The Cullens saved them by training them. Thankfully the aftermath wasn't much worse than it was, it certainly could have. Surely Alice would have said something if she saw anything. She wouldn't let children get hurt, wolves or not. But...
Was it nefarious to keep such a vision a secret? I shook my head free of that train of thought. No, of course, she'd say something.
Christmas was quickly upon us, and I was able to get Renesmee excited about it. With vampires that didn't need sleep, the house was quickly decorated for it. Esme helped me cook the Christmas feast for Charlie's visit on the eve, and Renesmee the cookies. The Christmas tree decorating was saved for then, so Renesmee could help. In the years before, I would lift her up high to add the topper. Her seven-year-old frame would've been too heavy for me, but this year she had her father to do it. Finally, a proper Christmas with her family all around.
There was no shortage of presents underneath the tree for her, some were for Charlie. It was nice seeing him get thoroughly embarrassed by the thoughtfulness. I hoped Charlie could have people to accompany him for the rest of his life. He had Harry, his fellow policemen... but, hopefully, a woman one day. Even if he wasn't actively waiting for Renee to return, he never stopped loving her. Can't imagine living with an emptiness for an entire lifetime.
Renesmee opened her presents that night, lots more books, some pretty dresses, and toys, and we went to Charlie's on Christmas day to open what he got her. It wasn't just Charlie that got her something, but some of the friends I made in La Push did too, like Emily. Jacob came to personally give her his, a bracelet he wove out of strips of leather. I caressed the wolf carving hanging off my wrist. A bracelet was ok for him to give, right?
"This is for you," Edward said, jarring me from my thoughts. I took it with a sheepish smile.
"You didn't have to get me anything..." I said.
"It's for later," he says, kissing my head.
"Then, I got you something too," I swiped it from under Charlie's tree to give it to him, bouncing on my heels. It was somewhat large.
He tears it open to find a photo album full of all the pictures I took for the years he was gone. As he flipped through it, more current pictures appeared. A new favorite book for him.
"I can't reveal my mind to you, show you what I can remember, but..."
"It's beautiful, thank you," he said reverently. As he hugged me tight, I saw Jacob and Charlie looking at him despondently.
I suppose I was having somewhat of an easier time with things changing. I had Renesmee then to keep me going, and the love of my life had returned. While feeling the pain of the memories when I was putting it together, I swore I'd be brave and bear all the pain that being together caused. Should I make an extra plan to send Renesmee away if we had to split up?
Jacob left quickly after giving Renesmee her present. She wasn't happy he was leaving again, but she seemed to understand that 'visits' weren't so bad. He and Edward were amicable while they were under the same roof.
Edward's gift-giving didn't end at Charlie's. I bet he'd give me everything he could: essential, practical items, and everything else if I didn't stop him or hadn't drawn a line before.
"Mr. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," I said, pulling out the first little box he had given me.
"I don't think you'll object," he said, covering them with his hand so I didn't open them.
"I was never going to stand in the way of you becoming a vampire, you know?" He said suddenly. It immediately surprised me.
"I know it seemed like I was absolutely against it, and maybe you thought it was because I didn't want you for that long, but I understood your reasoning. I'm assuming you want it now more than ever?"
I nodded, almost feeling guilty. I was absolutely going to have Carlisle or Alice do it, regardless if he had given me his 'blessing' or not, possibly creating a rift between family members.
"Yeah... though I always- I know I said I'd ask Carlisle or Alice to do it but...I always wanted it to be your venom that changes me. Is that strange?" I laughed. He laughed too,
"Everything about you is strange. But it's certainly momentous. I always thought it'd be horrible because I would be killing you," He said, sounding so sure. 'Clinical death' vs brain death. Of course, I disagreed.
"But..." he said, brushing my hair back. "It's like a covenant, where we agree to be together forever. My venom, my blood, would flow in you. It can be beautiful. Sacred. But I can't let you be the only one taking such a step. Which is why I'd like to marry you beforehand,"
My heart nearly stopped. What did he just say?
"...What?" I said stupidly.
"I want to promise you, more formally, that I chose you and only you. That I'll want you for the rest of my existence, that I'll never leave your side. That I will always protect you and Renesmee, and love you, for the rest of my life. You'll never be alone, Bella Swan. Marry me,"
I nearly died right then and there; face held gently in his hands. The air was stuck in my throat, I couldn't breathe.
"I," I choked. The tears that welled in my tears overflowed.
"I would die for you, Edward," I told him as if it was stupid of him to think I didn't already know all that, and yet I was so overwhelmingly happy he said it.
"I wasn't there when you felt the most alone-" I said, remembering how much he suffered in the first few years after the change.
"- I wish I was. But I can promise you you'll never be alone again,"
If vampires could cry or tear up, I'm sure he would have. The boxes in my hands had their wrapping paper shredded in a second and sat open in my palms revealing an engagement ring and a bracelet with the family crest on it.
"You became a part of this family long ago- you've certainly left an impression on us- but now with this, it's clearer. I hope you accept. Technically, you haven't said yes," he joked. I smacked his arm playfully.
"Of course, I'll marry you!"
He places the ring on my finger and lays back on the bed hard, my hand still in his.
"What is it?"
"Alice is already talking plans. She wanted to come in with her wedding binder. It's ok, I scared her off. She's planned everyone's multiple weddings you know?"
I smiled triumphantly knowing she was annoyed. At least the planning won't be so stressful. I wouldn't even know where to begin.
"It was one of the few things Carlisle could save for me of my mother," he said somberly, sitting up and rubbing the diamond-covered oval on my finger.
"I guess...something of hers should've stayed with me. I think she would have liked for you to have it,"
I rub Edward's arm to ease the pain. Hopefully, the woman rested easy knowing she could still accompany him, in a way.
"I feel guilty. It was hard, slowly forgetting what she looked like, acclimating to my new life- the thirst and qualities, being what I am, gave me. I didn't understand what it was all for, all the pain. What was the point in existing if this was how I had to exist? Something that would never end-" he said, stopping himself short.
"I blamed Carlisle for it, said awful things to him. I knew he believed it was a favor, a gift, because of what it gave him. Esme. A family. But amidst all of that, I couldn't see it. I'm so grateful now because I wouldn't have met you.
I think it's time to apologize to Carlisle, more 'appropriately', for ever hating him for giving this to me. I'm so sorry," he murmured shaking his head.
"He knows. He's never blamed you for it," I said, though I'm sure Carlisle was telling him now.
"We all do things we aren't proud of," I said, wiping the non-existent tears from his cheek.
"What gives me the right to be forgiven?"
"We love you. Tough. You'll have to take it,"
WAS THAT NOT A GREAT PROPOSAL? It left me so happy. Maybe I should have ended the chapter after that but it's just a fanfic. I can treat us both, and I really wanted Edward to say it was time to say 'I'm sorry'. Chapter was labeled Ending pt 1 because an epilogue might follow, idk.
Holy shit! I had no idea what gift I was gonna give Edward. A photo album should've been obvious right? I felt like a genius figuring it out in a second, how silly.
-I wasn't sure about bringing up if Alice knew or not the wolves would get hurt, but purposefully said nothing so the wolves weren't convinced to not take part. So there was a greater chance her family would come out unscathed. Or that she hoped so, since she couldn't see the future well. I originally wanted Bella to outright ask her if anyone gets hurt, if she knew, cuz I thought 'keeping things to yourself causes harm', like omission, was also a theme here. But...this story wasn't designed to be quite so dramatic, though that's 'exciting'. Hopefully, how I kept it in was ok. There were 2 too many ways it could've gone.
~-I asked Carlisle how the wolves were, Jacob. If his crushed, right side and Leah's broken arm were the only injuries. He confirmed it, to my relief, and was headed over there now to set the breaks. I wish Alice could've seen this. But if she had, would I have let the wolves fight? Jacob? Though all of them would've done whatever they wanted regardless of what I said... was I a monster if there was a possibility, I might have caused the Cullens to fight alone?-I made Bella an overthinker, lol. Inconsiderate, sure, but when you weigh it against the stakes, definitely monstrous.
So sorry for the long note, and wait. Please let me know if I make the 'overthinking' work, or what you think needs improvement in my storytelling. I'm working on something and the doubt is killing me. Much obliged.
