raven's perspective

All of us finished eating lunch in the Common Room. The sun beamed proudly over the city, not a cloud was in sight.

"B! Come play some ball." Cyborg suggested.

"Count me in." Robin chanted.

"Copy. See ya later, babe." Beastboy kissed me on the cheek.

"Ooohh, what do we have going on here?" Robin mocked.

"Oh, the merriments of romance! Raven, Beastboy, how come you have not informed us of this union?" Starfire gushed.

"No reason, we were on the low for a bit, that's all." I played with my hair nervously.

"Yeah, we're not all "Public Display of Affection" like some people." my boyfriend eyed Robin and Starfire.

"Please, we don't do anything." Robin opposed.

"Mhm, that's why y'all do it all in private, but that's another conversation for another time." Cyborg added.

A heavy tint filled Starfire's cheeks and I smirked. She returned my signal with a shy giggle.

"Cool beans. We'll be on the roof if you need us." Robin stated and the boys left the room.

I turned back to Starfire and she gave me a knowing expression.

"What?"

"I had no idea you and Beastboy were together. I knew it would come eventually, just in a matter of when."

"Yeahhhh, I guess."

"How have you been, Raven?" Starfire questioned.

I sighed heavily, "I've been struggling, Starfire."

"With what? If you wish to share." she motioned me to sit on the couch with her.

I sucked in air and refocused myself.

It was hard to discuss the topic. I had to reiterate everything. What happened, how I felt, and where it happened. Hearing the same scene come out of my mouth was like reliving it once more.

"Remember the last mission I was on? The one with the robbers at the bank."

"Yes."

"When you guys were dealing with those three guys, another one slipped out. So I ran after him. In short, he pulled out his gun and attempted to shoot me." Starfire gasped from the plot twist.

"Raven, I had no clue any of this was going on."

"No one did. I refused to let anyone know. I guess, it found another way out. The panic attack I had at our ice cream hang out was because of that. The argument Beastboy and I had a while back. When I snapped at you and Beastboy, I had no idea how to express myself. I still kind of don't. I lost my powers from the amount of anxiety I've been handling. Not only am I afraid to go out, but there's no reason for me too. I have nothing to help anyone."

"Goodness. Did the culprit ever get captured?"

"I doubt it. When he fired the shot at me, my powers must have spared me. The next time I woke up I was in the Medical Room. I don't know." I picked on my cloak.

Starfire brought me into a bone-crushing embrace.

"I can't fathom the thought of losing you, Raven. You are my best friend. I know what it is like to have a traumatic experience and try to push it all away. I want you to know you can confide in me when you need to, and I will always be your upper hand in battle." the alien's voice was unstable.

"I love you." I sniffled.

"I love you as well," she kindly broke the hug, "I am glad you are here. You are exceedingly strong. You told me everything without having the panic attack or a breakdown."

"You're right. Wow." I raised my eyebrow in surprise.

A moment of silence fell on top of us.

"I also got diagnosed with PTSD." I confessed.

"Pee...STD?"

"No! Not... no, no, no... I don't have an STD. I have no one to contract any from, anyway."

Starfire gave a lopsided smile.

"Starfire, you're supposed to be the innocent one. The boys have polluted you." I laughed.

"Tee-hee. Tell me, what is this diagnosis you have?"

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's when you have persistent flashbacks of an event. Depression and anxiety are also associated with the disease. There is no real way to handle it but to try your best. Just like with anything else life hurls your way."

I thought of the bullet coming my way, and blinked tears out of my eyes.

"Oh my."

"Yeah. It's really hard right now, I want it to go away but it can't. I don't really have a choice but to stick it out." my mouth sat in a hard line.

"I cannot imagine."

"Trust me, you wouldn't want to."

"Hm."

"Right now, at the moment, I don't know if I need forty Kit Kats, three tubs of ice-cream, or nine months of sleep." I chuckled.

"I am. Confused."

"What I mean is, I am extremely tired and stressed." I yawned.

"Under all of that emotional pressure, I would not expect otherwise."

"Yeah."

"Indeed. Through all of this, I believe you can get back on your feet." Starfire happily punched the air.

"Sure." I shrugged.

"I will help you, friend. Come over here." the Tamaranean got up.

She walked to the empty space in front of the windows.

"I am going to help you get your powers back."

"How? Starfire, there's no way I can get them back. Every time I try to focus, the incident is all I can think of."

"I understand. Remember when you lost your powers, when that monster came to the Tower?"

"Yes."

"You lost your powers and was able to retrieve them thereafter. Correct?"

"Yes."

"The same can happen now. The current situation is surely more intense and different. Everything has changed, and so have you. The power vested within you has been imprisoned from this experience. It went into... a hibernation, I would say."

We both shared a laugh.

"Seasons always come to an end and a new one begins. Right now, you are in a cold, hostile winter. Every wind that whistles in your ear paralyzes you. Every part of you feels frozen and still. Nonetheless, your power can spring back, but you have to take off your coat first. You have to take off the fear, even if it is for a second. It will not come to you so easily at first, but you have to make an attempt. You have to believe. When you believe, you meet your victory half way." my friend wisely advised.

"Wow. That's deep." I was amazed at Starfire's words.

"I learned it from the dark times of my own. Now," she begin to float and shut her eyes, "Close your eyes."

I obeyed.

"Breathe in and out. One breath at a time. Channel the air carefully through your lungs."

Pop.

"No!" I wheezed and snapped my eyes back open.

"I can't do it." tears instantly brimmed in my eyes.

Starfire walked in front of me and tenderly held my hand.

"I know you can," she maintained a determined glance while pressing courage into me, "Remember our powers are fueled by emotion. Allow yourself to feel."

I shivered and tried again.

As painful as it was to try and regulate myself, it was either I was going to do it or it was not going to get done.

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths.

"There you go. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos." I repeated.

Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop.

I squinted my eyes and gritted my teeth.

"Azarath... Metrion... Zinthos..."

Slowly but surely, I began to redirect my emotions.

Pop.

"A-azarath... M... concentrate, Raven, concentrate..." my focus began to falter.

"You are almost there, Friend Raven. Just push a little harder. You are doing great." Starfire continued to recite the mantra with me.

A weird, long lost sensation surged through my body. An inert part of my mind started to warm up. Energy switched on my nerves and trickled through my veins.

I felt as if some part of me that went missing was made whole again.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos." my body began to lift.

"Open your eyes."

I opened my eyes and saw my feet off of the floor.

"I got it! Starfire, I got it!" I rejoiced.

"Glorious! I told you, you can do it! You can do anything you put your mind to. All you have to do is sift through doubt and anxiety, and focus your energy on what is more important. Strength and power."

Pop.

"Woah!" my mind derailed and I fell on the floor.

"Okay, maybe, you need some more practice. You are getting the hang of it, this will not come overnight. You are very resilient, Raven. It will all come back to you if you keep making the effort. I am so proud of you." Starfire hugged me, and I hugged her back.

"I didn't think I'd see my powers ever again. Thank you." I whispered feebly.

"That is where your issue is. You think so lowly of yourself. By doing that you shut off every possibility to elevate. No matter how low the valley, you can always work yourself to the top. You have everything to excel; you have yourself. All you need to do is remember that."