Author's Notes:

Explicit Content Ahead

Enjoy!


I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.
Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

Our Affair

8. Tell Me Your Feelings

I narrowed my eyes at her seductive proposal. Pinning her back to the front door, I gazed into her eyes. "Open the door."

Orihime

Love is not about sex, going on fancy dates, or showing off. It's about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else can. I understood that the hardest times in life to go through were when you were transitioning from one version of yourself to another. I wasn't sure how that was possible, but it was the only way to comprehend the level of contentment I felt over being in his presence.

No one is afraid of heights; they are afraid of the fall. No one is afraid of the dark, they are afraid of what's in it. No one is afraid of love; they are afraid of a broken heart.

Ichigo gave me that comfort. Pushing our way through my front door and slamming it shut, he pushed me against the wall to kiss me. Our sealed lips moved in sync, neither of us not getting enough of each other. My hands pushed his coat off his shoulders and moved up to run my fingers through his hair.

He pulled back to look at me. "I guess I'm staying the night?"

Our heavy pants brushed against each other's lips. I nodded breathlessly. "Yes."

I hadn't even caught my breath, yet Ichigo grabbed my neck. His fingers raked the hairs on the back of my nape pulling me up towards his mouth. The hardness of his dick was pressed against my stomach as he covered my mouth with his. I didn't think twice about opening for him when he probed the seam of my lips with his tongue.

I moaned when he lapped into my mouth, tasting like pleasure. He gradually pushed off my coat letting it fall to the floor along with his. Within seconds his hands were under my sweater dress ripping my stockings to shreds and pushing my panties to the side letting his fingers sink into my pussy.

I cried out a moan wrapping my arms around his neck and angling my head to deepen our kiss. My hips moved, riding on his fingers seeking the pleasure he can give me. I pressed my breast against his chest causing friction to my covered nipples.

Ichigo leaned back and watched my hips move. He trailed his eyes up to my face. "You like that?" I nodded. "Do you want me?"

"Yes," I moaned as his thumb circled my clit. "I want you and more."

With a sharp inhale and his hands were on my thighs and he carried me to my bedroom.

.

..

Ichigo sat on my bed with my legs wrapped around his waist. A slow wine of my hips over his dick had us both moaning for more contact.

"Take off your clothes," his strained voice commanded. Not wanting to wait long, I unwrapped myself from his waist and stood up. Gathering the hem of my sweater dress, I pulled it off without much struggle. I stood before him in a soft pink lace bra with matching underwear and ripped pantyhose. He followed suit, taking off his own grey sweater along with an undershirt. He threw it down next to my dress.

Our eyes locked as I reached behind me to unclasp my bra. He followed my movements while he unbuckled his belt. We stripped our clothes intensifying our anticipation for each other with what was to come.

Not yet touching him, I traced my fingers up my thighs and over my stomach to my breasts. He followed my slow movements. I traced my hard nipples and then kneaded my breasts eliciting a subtle moan while closing my eyes. Behind my lids, I listened to his increased breath sounds and began imagining what his hands will soon feel like on my body. Ichigo groaned, making me open my eyes. He was fisting his hardened dick.

"Touch yourself more." I smiled following his soft command. Letting one of my breasts go, I traced my fingers down to my pelvis past the trimmed auburn curls and spread my legs slightly. My forefinger grazed over my clit pulling out another drawn-out moan. He growled watching my forefinger and middle finger swirl over the nub working myself up. A pearl of precum protruded from his enflamed crown.

I couldn't help licking my lips craving to taste every bit of his rigid dick on my tongue. Watching him stroke himself in rhythm with my swirling fingers sent all my nerve ends to my core. The trembling of my body and moisture leaking down my thighs erupting with wet echoing sounds bounced off the walls. I was close when he wrapped his hand over my quivering wrists.

"Stop. Not yet." I exhaled in disappointment trying to soothe my sensitive body.

Ichigo pulled me to stand between his legs. As he let my wrist go, he traced his hands up my thighs and around to my ass. Both of his large hands scorched my skin with pleasure as he squeezed each cheek dragging me closer to his face. His lips trailed kisses over my stomach while kneading my ass calming my looming orgasm. I moaned dropping my head back, feeling the ends of my hair sweep down my back while savoring the touch of his small caresses. His mouth was molten hot with every open-mouth kiss trailing over my stomach, scalding with blissful vibrating vigor after each one.

The tiny things he was doing to me made my heart race. The gifts, his hugs, his kisses, and his worshiping of my body. Ichigo was filling my heart with so much love. There was no denying how good it felt to be touched by him. How incredibly gratifying it was to be pressed close to his warm body and feel his lips worship me.

He gave one last kiss over my belly button and reached for his discarded pants to pull out a condom, but I took it from his fingers. Opening it and putting it on him before I climbed his lap with both of my knees around his hips. I sank onto his dick without hesitation, relishing in the pleasurable discomfort of my pussy stretching to accommodate his width. Ichigo groaned like he was in pain, grabbing the back of my neck and bringing my face close to his.

He stared at me. Lust-filled eyes locked on mine. He didn't say anything as I began to move to relieve some of the pressure, yet his other hand came to my hip. Gripping it to keep me motionless.

"Ichigo," I moaned in frustration not registering the strangled sound of my own voice. I need to move and ease this ache.

"Have I told you how beautiful you looked today?" He asked with his soft brown eyes locked on mine filled with an out-forward affection. "Not just today but every time I see you." His gaze wandered over my face, landing on my lips before he met my eyes again. "Your eyes, nose, chubby cheeks, and those lips. Every part of you is beautiful down to your soul."

Bliss at his romantic words made my pussy tighten around him making both of us let out a noticeable moan.

"Say you love me again."

His fingers trailed up my body to grip my hair. Pulling me close so his lips would graze mine when he spoke. "I love you." He let go of my hip signaling for me to start moving. And I did. He captured my lips in a hungry kiss devouring my moans.

He tasted so good. Felt so good.

This became more than I had experienced. My thoughts were focused on him. The one man I grew to like more than a friend. The man I had undergone my first tearful heartbreak. The man whom I felt anger towards. The man who is attracting an indescribable desire out of me.

Ichigo is the man I wanted… the one I need. To experience further rollercoasters of emotions.

I dragged my fingernails up his arms and dug them into his shoulders. Holding onto him as my hips twisted, bounced, and swayed giving him every ounce of sensuality. Throwing my head back giving him a show of my bouncing breasts close to his face.

His expressions mixed with lust and awe; the look he knows I deserve.

I rocked my hips to prove to him he deserves this pleasure too.

Ichigo's hot mouth encircled my nipple and tugged hard. So hard I stopped moving and gazed down at him. His teeth pulled on it as his eyes landed on mine.

"Keep going."

I started again, but I went faster and harder. I watched the expression on his face while his mouth sucked on my nipple. It was serious.

He switched to the next one sucking hard and pulled the abandoned one with his forefingers. It hurt but it felt good. I kept my fast rhythm of riding him until he let each of my nipples go.

I gasped feeling the rush so intense my clit ached and throbbed.

"Shit," he groaned feeling the pulsation inside me. He grabbed my thighs lifting me off his dick. I whined at the lack of grip my pussy once had. Ichigo flipped my body onto the bed pressing my back against the sheets. I wrapped my legs around his waist pulling him back down to me. He obliged, sinking his dick back inside, and began thrusting slowly.

With one hand, he propped himself up to watch his dick disappear inside of my pussy. Using his other hand, he went between my legs to pinch my clit just like he had done with my nipples.

"Fuck," he growled. He kept pulling on my clit as his strokes grew harder and deeper. "You feel so good." I sighed feeling the overstimulation of his pounding dick and sweet torture of the bundle of nerves. A fresh wave of pleasure wrecked through my whole body.

Letting my clit go, he pressed down into my body pistoning his hips on the exact spot to send me over the edge. The orgasm crashed into me, utilizing my body in an earth-shattering scream and quakes. Tears blurred my vision feeling the rigidness of his dick intensified the sensitivity of my core. He growled into my neck as his own release followed shortly after. He sank deeper into me, setting off another tremble feeling the condom fill with his come.

I closed my eyes as my hips moved against his uneven jerks.

We both exhaled at the sedation settling in the air.

.

..

Ulquiorra

Late December

Deboarding the plane after such a long flight was welcoming.

I stretched my legs as soon as I got out of the attachment bridge. Pulling my headphones down from my ears and resting them against my neck, I proceeded to the baggage claim before making my way to customs.

I was back to obtain the woman created just for me.

My healing grace.

After my discussion with my father, I sought therapy as soon as I returned to school. The therapist helped me understand the surface level of my turmoil surrounding my mother's death. The self-blame I placed on myself and the trajectory of my father's accountability. The unhealthy attachments I may have in the future due to my isolation growing up.

At first, I brushed it off as nonsense. But he reiterated.

"Your father is self-medicating by drinking. Numbing himself with alcohol helps him cope with what he has done."

"He was drinking before her death," I snapped but quickly frowned in apology.

"Yes, but you mentioned the last time you two talked," flipping through his notebook, "he said 'My bloodline craves the need to give pain'. Maybe sometime during his childhood, there was something that had caused him to become the man he is today."

"Sure," I rolled my eyes. "That makes us the same I guess."

My therapist smiled. "Yes and no. The difference between the two of you is that you're seeking help from your trauma." I shifted in my seat uncomfortable with the truth. I began picking at an invisible lint on my pants. "Now tell me how are your relationships? Do you have difficulty managing alone time or being in a romantic relationship?"

"It's manageable," I looked up at him.

"Care to explain?" I stayed silent absorbing my response. He smiled and asked additional questions I could probably answer. "How does it feel moving to a new country for school, have you made progress with establishing friendships or relationships?"

I shrugged. "Everything is pretty much the same. I hang out with my classmates here and there, but I focus more on my studies. The quicker I pass these exams and get my degree, the faster I can return to my home country and start my business."

He wrote something down in his notebook before looking up at me. "Mhmm yes, your finance business for the future of Karakura Town. Do you have someone waiting for you there? Besides your father of course."

A small smile graced my lips. He really wants to know about my relationship. "Yeah. I plan to see her for the new year's festival next week."

"Nice. Who is she to you? A friend, a girlfriend…?"

"We haven't really put a label on our relationship…" I glowered, "but I called her my lover to her 'ex'."

He raised an eyebrow. "Is there some hostility between you and her ex?"

I scoffed. "Hostility? Please, he can't compare to me. I have her heart, body, and soul."

"Does she feel the same way?" My eyes widen at his question. Thinking back, she never did say the three words I craved to hear. In her kitchen, after she gave me such a sense of security to lay my trust in her hands, it was only a matter of seconds. Right before Ichigo had shown up bursting our bubble.

"I… I guess."

"Guess?"

"Her 'ex' came back, interrupting us."

"And how did you react?"

I smirked. "I let him know who I am to her and told him to back off."

He wrote something down and then looked up at me. "And did he?"

Growling, I tensed my shoulders and tightened my fists. "He better have."

"Have you talked to her since?" I shook my head. He nodded while keeping a straight face. "Hear me out. What if, during your absence… they rekindled their relationship? Christmas was a couple of days ago. In Japan, isn't it known as the holiday for lovers?"

My lips turned into a frown. Remembering how cocky Ichigo was the last time we talked, my jaw ticked. How arrogant he was when he told me he would pursue her during my absence. I cleared my throat. "It's possible… but like I said, she's mine."

"That's a pretty unhealthy way of thinking. Your attachment tends to make you act out your jealousy in a detrimental way. You cannot proclaim that she is yours. She is her own person."

The indents of my fingernails digging into my palm did not stop me from pressing in harder. "I love her. She is my light in this dark broken world of mine. So yes… she belongs to me."

"The broken will always love harder than most. In your case, this can lead to her being your sense of worth living. You must learn to restrain your obsession and attachment to her. God forbid, she was to leave… or die unexpectedly? How will you cope with the loss." He closed his notebook. "Remember that she is not your mother. You've been in the dark once before. Learn to appreciate everything that shines in the light not just her."

My therapist was right. Orihime was not my mother but the person whom I found solace in. My trust grew when she accepted to take on my pain. Relinquishing my pain for pleasure. She had become my coping drug. It was unhealthy to put her on such a high pedestal, but she deserved it.

And I will reveal that truth. Tell her my feelings.

Tell her those three words.

I smiled as my taxi pulled onto the curve outside of the airport.

.

..

Orihime

The last few days of the year went by in a blur. It was sex-filling doused in love. All because of Ichigo.

He did not let me go after taking me to Christmas dinner at his family's home.

And I didn't want to let him go either.

Except when I had to sneak off to see my new gynecologist this morning.

"Inoue-san?"

I glanced up from my phone to the receptionist. "Yes."

"The doctor will see you now."

I was able to slip out of his arms and into the shower to wash away the remnants of our activity. Quietly I left my apartment while Ichigo remained asleep to make my 10 am appointment. I didn't think I would make it on time after another orgasmic night which lasted way into the earlier hours of dawn. While on the train I sent him a quick text to let him know I would be back late in the afternoon and to make himself at home. Not like he hadn't already.

"Good morning," the blonde busty woman dressed in a lab coat and pencil skirt waved. "I'm Dr. Rangiku Matsumoto, how are you doing today Inoue-san?"

"I'm fine, sensei." I smiled as I took a seat after taking off my coat and placing my bag behind me. She smiled back typing something on her computer before turning around to fully face me. She swung her leg over the other and propped her chin in hand giving me her undivided attention.

"What can I do for you?"

"Um…" I suddenly felt nervous. My eyes scanned around the clinic room at the laminated posters about women's reproductive health. Twirling my fingers, I glanced back at her. "Umm... I need birth control…?"

Rangiku smirked. "Are you asking me if you need it or telling me?"

"Telling," I whispered.

"There's no reason to feel shy now." She sat up straight uncrossing her legs. Without reluctance, she brought out a pamphlet and explained the different types of birth control. The pros and cons of them, the effectiveness of each, and what she would recommend.

Rangiku handed me the pamphlet with the information she just told me.

"Any questions?" I shook my head as I flipped through the pamphlet. "Very well. If you know what you want, I can get you started on your birth control today. Which one do you choose?" She swirled in her chair to type into her computer.

"Can I have the pills?"

She nodded. "Sure." She typed up something else before turning back around. "First before I send off the prescription, you must take a pregnancy test." Standing up, Rangiku walked over to the other side of the room, heels clicking with each step. She reached into a cabinet with medical supplies and retrieved a small jar. "Pee in this cup."

I looked at the jar and back up to her. "Pregnancy test?"

"Yes. I can't put you on birth control until I know for sure you're not pregnant." She raised an eyebrow and dropped her hand with the jar at my hesitation. "When was the last time you had sex? Protected or unprotected."

I frowned. The past few days were a blur. Christmas was the last time Ichigo had used a condom. After that, we just did it without a care in the world. My teeth sank into my bottom lip.

"Yesterday…" No. "This morning… unprotected," my voice trailed off.

"Oh." Placing the jar on the table under the cabinet, she placed her hands in the pockets of her lab coat. "Have you taken the morning-after pill?"

I shook my head looking down at my feet. "The pharmacist told me taking it too much makes it ineffective."

"How many times have you taken it?"

"Three times," I mumbled shamefully.

"Okay, she was correct about that. Let me ask you. When was your last period?"

I glanced up at her feeling clueless. I haven't kept track of it in months. Ever since I took the morning-after pills and the high stress at work during the holidays, it completely threw my cycle off.

"Inoue-san?"

"I don't know." My mind tried to calculate the last time but only drew a blank.

Rangiku sighed. "Okay, here's what we'll do." Picking up the jar she handed it over to me. "Pee in this cup and we'll go from there."

Standing to my feet, I took the empty jar. The receptionist showed me the restroom where I could handle my business. Once I locked the door, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Disappointment did not even scratch the surface of my predicament.

Pregnant…

My hand touched my stomach over the wool sweater I was wearing. I turned sideways looking at my body.

Could I really be…?

Dropping my hand, I stared at the empty jar that rested on the sink counter. The jar would determine my fate. If I was pregnant, who would be the father?

I literally had sex with both Ichigo and Ulquiorra one week apart from each other once before. Then did it again a few hours apart.

What have I done?

.

..

Ichigo

My hand stretched out, feeling the other side of the bed was cold and empty. Snapping my eyes open, I got up and looked around. Orihime wasn't in bed. Usually, I would be the first one up and wake her up with my head between her thighs.

I sat up in the bed listening for any sounds of her moving either in the bathroom across the hall or the kitchen. But I was only met with silence. Today was her day off, so I know she didn't go to the bakery. Getting out of bed, I threw my boxers back on and snatched my phone from the nightstand by the bed. Unlocking it, I was prepared to call her but saw a text notification.

Orihime: I went out for a bit. I'll be back later in the afternoon. Make yourself at home.

Orihime: As usual

Quickly reading it, I smiled placing my phone back on the nightstand.

I sighed and sat on the bed. Resting my head in my hands, I tried to calm my racing heart.

The emptiness of not feeling her near me sent a chill down my spine. I had gotten used to feeling her next to me. The lingering feeling did not go away. The sensation of waiting for the other shoe to drop and to lose Orihime once again. Ayako really had fucked me up.

How was I going to go back to school after growing such an attachment to the auburn-haired girl? Depending on her presence to always be near me. She means too much to not have her close. I cannot waste another minute of my life without her in it.

Picking up my phone, I sent her a response letting her know I was awake, and that I will have lunch ready by the time she arrives home. Setting my phone back down, I took deep breaths to help soothe the impending doom feeling. When she returns, I will talk to her about us and establish our relationship. Get everything off my chest one more time.

But this time, I will officially ask her to be my girlfriend.

I stood up and made my way to the bathroom to shower. A trip to the grocery store to get the ingredients for our lunch could also help relax the growing nervousness about my upcoming confession.

.

..

A few hours after returning from the grocery store, I sent Orihime a text asking if she was far, and lunch will be ready by the time she arrives. Placing my phone down, I took the lid off the rice soup. I took a spoon to taste if the vegetables had shimmered down for flavor. Satisfied with my capability -Yuzu's proficiency- I took some bowls down. I placed them on the table already set up before moving to the refrigerator to grab the cucumbers and tomatoes for the salad. My eyes checked the agedashi tofu frying while placing the salad bits on the counter. Taking up my cooking chopsticks, I moved the tofu around. They were almost done.

I proudly looked over my work. She will have no other choice but to stay with me. One way to get through to her was through her stomach. And lately, her appetite has increased since I've been staying here. She would rush home from work to have my home-cooked meal. Again, Yuzu is to thank for my capability. Orihime would be excited about the different dishes and savor each flavor. Strangely enough, after finishing her meal, she would jump me, and we would go round after round.

Chopping away, my phone chimed letting me know I have a new message. Wiping my hands on my apron, I snatched it up to see a simple text from her.

Orihime: Ok.

Odd. She usually sends a flurry of messages asking what's on the menu. How hungry she is and much more. Not 'Ok'.

Ichigo: Is everything alright?

I saw she had read the message right away. Text bubbles popped up and then disappeared. I leaned against the counter watching and waiting for her response. Unfortunately, nothing came. Deciding I couldn't wait anymore, I called her.

After a few rings, she sent me to her voicemail followed by a text.

Orihime: We have to talk.

Orihime: Face to face.

The chill I had felt earlier that day came back. My mind was tormented by what I had done.

Could this be the moment she rejects me?

Did she not want me anymore?

I swallowed the lump in my throat, typing out my next message.

Ichigo: Ok. I'll be waiting.

read

.

..

I abandoned making anything else for lunch. The agedashi tofu, egg salad sandwiches, soup, and salad sat on the table. I stared into space replaying the past couple of days. What had I done to cause a rift between Orihime and I?

Bouncing one leg under the table, I glanced at my phone from the time she had read my last message to the current time.

It's been 23 minutes and she wasn't home yet. She didn't tell me where she went specifically and how far it was. I stood up and started pacing. What can I say to stop her doubts? I was already prepared to ask her to be my girlfriend after feeding her. Maybe she was going to ask me to be her boyfriend.

That poured a little hope over the blossoming fear. My eyes shifted to the jar full of lucky stars on her living room table. I nodded in agreement. We no longer have to doubt each other. She knew that. I knew that.

The doorbell rang followed by a knock. I smiled.

She's home.

Making my way to the door, I reached for the knob to unlock it but immediately stopped.

Why would Orihime ring the doorbell and knock to enter her own apartment? Did she forget her keys?

I looked through the peephole.

What the fuck?

I swung the door open and saw Ulquiorra standing there along with some luggage.

Ulquiorra dropped his shoulder bag and glared at me. "What are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you that," I folded my arms over my chest blocking his view into Orihime's place.

"Where's Orihime?"

"None of your damn business."

"She is my business." Ulquiorra took one step getting close to my face. I dropped my arms and tightened my fists. If it's a fight he wants, I can guarantee it and give him a beatdown of his life.

A sudden loud gasp pulled us away from our glaring match.

Orihime was standing a few feet away, eyes darting between Ulquiorra and me.

To Be Continued…


Author's Notes:

Confrontation time.

Thoughts?

Until next time.

Songs

Frozen – Sabrina Claudio

Bliss – Mariah Carey

Let's Do It Again - TLC

Multiple – Jon B.

For Us - dvsn