"Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, Raphael. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were grown from ooze and raised by a warrior rat in the sewers of New York to be the world's most fearsome fighting team." Wiz introduces our 4 combatants of the episode.

"Ooooh, so that's a ninja turtle. Now it makes sense, Weiss." Ruby says.

"N-no, it doesn't. In fact, I only have more questions. Did he say they were raised by a warrior rat in a sewer?" Weiss asks.

"Lots of superheroes have some weird origin stories, but this one is plain ridiculous." Boomstick comments.

"My point, exactly." Weiss says matter of factly.

"Ah, who cares! They're ninjas who are also turtles! I think that's cool!" Nora says.

"Yeah. Ninjas are awesome, isn't that right Blake?" Yang asks with a eyebrow waggle, knowing all about Blake's favorite book.

"You… You know?" Blake whispers to Yang with concern while Ruby makes noises while making chopping motions.

"Their greatest advantage in battle is their family bond and teamwork. But, on their own, which Turtle is deadliest?"

"He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick."

"And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win… a Death Battle."

"Wait… they're gonna fight each other…?" Pyrrha asks with slight worry.

"But… they're brothers…" Ruby says.

"Their poor rat dad…" Jaune chimes in.

"Leonardo, the leader of the team, is smart and strategic with a strong sense of honor." Wiz goes over Leo.

"Too bad he traded his sense of humor for that sense of honor. This guy always means serious business." Boomstick adds. "His weapon of choice is the Ninjaken sword, shorter, sturdier, and straighter than an ordinary Katana, and designed for swift deadly strikes! Out of all the Turtles' weapons, the Ninjaken is the only one specifically designed to murder people! And what's better than one Ninjaken? Two, dammit!"

"So not only is he the strategic, he also wields the deadliest weapon. Sounds like he already has an advantage." Blake says.

"In many timelines, Leonardo is the one who ultimately defeats The Shredder, though always with plenty of help." Wiz says. "As leader, he is usually the one with a plan."

"Like our Ruby over here." Yang says with a proud smile.

"Oh, stop, you're gonna make me blush." Ruby says with a hint of red on her face.

"He spends most of his time training his body and mind under his Master Splinter's instruction and follows Bushido, a strict Samurai code of honor and duty. At one point, he even fought and killed a sort of physical embodiment of the Devil." Wiz adds further.

"Giving Keanu Reeves a much needed break!"

"However, Leonardo finds it difficult to accept failure. Should things go horribly wrong, his concentration can quickly slip away from him, leaving him sloppy and imprecise."

"Yeah, I guess we have that in common." Jaune says.

"No leader is perfect, Jaune. Everybody makes mistakes." Ren tries to comfort his friend.

"And we'll still follow you to the end." Pyrrha tells him.

"Quit clowning you guys! This is serious!" Footage of Leonardo plays as he tells his team to get serious.

"Donatello is the brains of the bunch." Wiz introduces Donnie.

"He does machines!" Boomstick sums up Donnie.

"Every team needs a genius. The Turtles have theirs, and Team RWBY has theirs." Weiss says proudly.

"Ah, thanks, Weiss. That means a lot." Ruby says.

"I was referring to me!" Weiss corrects her.

"Right, Boomstick. Somehow, he learned to operate and manipulate both human and alien technology without any formal education or budget whatsoever."

"Woah… So he's like a genius genius." Jaune says.

"I don't see you pulling that off Weiss." Blake says with a small smirk, which the snow queen only responds by sticking her tongue out at her.

"He also speaks 100% fluent Techno-babble."

"The resulting intermittent multi-polar flux should create the electromagnetic pulse!" Footage of Donnie speaking said techno-babble shows.

Ruby, Jaune, Nora and Yang all sat still. What Donnie just said making all their brains stop in trying to understand.

"Um… What?" Ruby questions.

"What the hell did I just hear?" Boomstick asks. "All that gibberish means he's probably trained less than the others, devoting more of his time for science!"

"Fortunately, his useful Bo Staff makes up for his lack of constant training. Durable, oak, and six feet long, the Bo gives Donatello far more attack range than his other brothers." Wiz adds.

"The range is nice, but it takes a lot of time and patience to kill anybody with a stick."

"He's no expert strategist, that's Leonardo's turf, but Donatello's considered the most level-headed of the Turtles. Even with his time spent tinkering, he's still a very capable warrior, easily keeping up with his brothers and even killing the Shredder in an alternate dimension.

"An ass kicking nerd? I don't believe it."

"Eh, I'm making this up as I go." Donnie says before we transition to the next turtle.

"While his brainpower is impressive, I don't see him besting Leonardo in a fight to the death." Pyrrha, says.

"Let's see what the other 2 have to offer." Blake simply says.

"Michelangelo is the youngest of the turtles. He's lazy, undisciplined, and easily distracted. He spends his free time playing video games, watching TV, reading comic books, and eating pizza." Wiz explains.

"Oh, boy. And here's the slacker." Weiss says annoyed.

"Sounds like another way of saying he likes to have fun if you ask me." Yang defends Mikey.

"That turtle is fucked up!" Boomstick pipes in.

"What?"

"Come on, you can't tell me that that turtle is not on drugs!"

"I don't know, I always thought he was dropped as a kid."

"Wow, that's a little harsh." Ruby says, feeling sorry for Mikey.

"Go easy on him, a little." Nora pipes in, standing up for Mikey as well.

"Okay, look! He has all the signs! Strange eating habits, inability to pay attention, incoherent phrases…" Boomstick points out.

"Moving on, his weapon of choice-"

"The bong-"

"No, the Nunchaku, isn't really a weapon at all. It's a farming tool for thrashing grain. These 'weapons' are unnecessarily overcomplicated clubs with the effectiveness of a tattered flyswatter. Yet SOMEHOW, Michelangelo has been able to blunder his way through fights to victories he really doesn't deserve."

"Why don't they like Mikey? Did he spit in their cereal or something? Why are they being so harsh?" Yang says, getting a little angry at their harsh words.

"He even beat Raph once." Boomstick adds in.

"Sure, I get it. Swinging chuks around gives him momentum to hit with them, blah, blah, blah, but in the end, a baseball bat will give you the same effect and more with much less effort. Seriously, who came up with these things? They're preposterous!"

"You're prepostemous! I don't know."

"I don't know, I thought they were cool." Ruby mutters under her breath.

"And, for some reason, in all his infinite wisdom, the great Master Splinter gave the most complicated weapon to the retard of the group. WHY?"

"Okay, that's a little much." Weiss chimes in, now standing up for Mikey.

"He's starting to sound like Cardin." Blake says angrily.

"Just because he likes to have a little fun and live a little carefree, doesn't make him an idiot." Nora adds, seeing some of herself in Mikey.

"Ya know what, I hope Mikey wins just to spite Wiz." Yang says.

"...Mikey's not gonna win this fight, is he?"

"He'd better not."

"Ho ho, someone's cranky!" Michelangelo says onscreen, almost like he's responding to Wiz.

"You can say that again." Ruby says.

"I thought they were supposed to be impartial, but I'm sensing a bias here. They didn't say one good thing about Mikey in that whole time." Pyrrha comments.

"Raph is cool but crude! Hell, forget crude, this guy's borderline psycho!" Boomstick introduces this one.

"Sure to throw the first punch, Raphael is certainly the most vicious of the team. He's constantly butting heads with the others and challenging Leonardo's leadership." Wiz adds.

"Sounds like Weiss when Team RWBY was first formed." Blake says.

"Ugh, why'd you have to remind me?" Weiss asks, cringing at her past views and actions. "Well, I'll have you know, I've gone to great strides to, at the very least, support our leader."

"Aw, thanks, Weiss." Ruby thanks her.

"I know that. I did say when Team RWBY was formed." Blake says, smiling at Weiss.

"He uses twin Sai, which is like a combination of a pitchfork, dagger, and Wolverine's claws." Boomstick adds.

"Like the Nunchuk, they also humbly began as a farming tool, but were re-evaluated to counter the oppressive samurai." Wiz continues.

"They're best used as a close range defensive weapon. The triple prongs are designed to block, trap, and control an opponent's weapon while using the pommel to beat the enemy into submission. Raph's Sai can even snap swords!"

"Considering he has a temper, it's probably a good thing his weapons aren't made for killing." Blake says, Ren nodding in agreement.

"Raphael is not exactly the smartest fighter, usually rushing into a brawl without a plan and just overpowering a foe. Because of this, Raphael spends much of his time honing his combat skills. It is very likely he is physically the strongest turtle."

"And that sounds like Yang." Weiss points the finger at Yang.

"Hey, the best defense is offense, I say." Yang says.

"Heck yeah, girlfriend!" Nora agrees with the blonde.

"Besides, my semblance relies on me getting my ass kicked, remember?" Yang says.

"Also, this guy's in some serious need of anger management!" Boomstick adds.

"He is naturally hot headed and sometimes loses control of his rage. He is much more vicious than the other turtles and, at one point in the comics, even became the Shredder himself."

"They keep bringing up this Shredder guy." Jaune points out. "Who is he?"

"Probably their arch nemesis if I had to guess." Yang answers Jaune's question.

"Whoever he is, he looks cool!" Nora says.

"And deadly." Blake adds.

"We'll probably get to see him in an episode at one point, too." Ruby chimes in.

"Damn." Raphael simply says

"Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all." Wiz says.

"It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!" Boomstick hypes us up.

In the sewers of New York, the turtles face each other and they draw their weapons.

"I've somehow forgotten the fact that we're about to watch these four brothers kill each other…" Yang says, with some concern.

"I have this feeling this will be hard to watch…" Jaune adds.

FIGHT!

Leonardo goes after Michelangelo and both trade blow for blow. Meanwhile, Donatello faces Raphael and Leo backflips past them. As Michelangelo attacks him, Leo stabs him with his swords, then leaps over him and slices off his arm, followed by his head, then Michelangelo was decapitated.

"OH MY GODS!" Both teams are left shocked by the brutality.

"That's his brother…" Weiss says somberly."

"I can't watch!" Ruby covers her eyes, before opening her fingers to peek.

Don and Raph continue fighting. Both seem evenly matched until Don throws Raph past Leo. Leo tries to attack Don, but Don leaps on a stack of crates and begins hitting Leo in the head with his staff.

Raph gets up and knocks the crates down, sending Don flying backward onto the floor. Raph proceeds to brutally stab Don with his sai 24 times and then faces Leo.

Everyone was left stunned and silent as they watched the brutal way Raph just killed Donnie.

They both fight each other and Raph knocks Leo into the water. As Leo resurfaces, Raph jumps into the water. They both trade blows with their weapons. Both seem to be at a stalemate until Raph catches Leo's swords with his sais. Eventually, the sais break Leo's sword and then both stab the other. Raph, however, is stabbed in the throat while Leo's wound isn't fatal.

"DAMN!" Raph yells as he falls below the surface of the water, which is colored red by his blood.

Leo sits down in the water and looks at the sai in his body, looking regretful.

K.O.!

Jaune pauses the show as they all take a moment to collect themselves.

"Yang…" Ruby is the first to speak.

"Yeah, Ruby." Yang turns to her sister.

"I need you to hold me." Ruby answers, and Yang opens up her arms for her little sister and Ruby hops in.

"Ren…" Nora says to her partner. "You know I would never…"

Nora is shushed by Ren, who responds by hugging her.

"Don't even think like that, Nora." Ren answers as Nora hugs him back.

"Woah-ho-ho, somebody call an ambulance! Or a vet, I don't know." Boomstick says.

"There is a reason why Leonardo is the leader of the team. Not for strength or speed, but for strategy, Leonardo understands the strengths and weaknesses of the other turtles. His biggest threat was Raphael's sword snapping Sai, so he attacked the weakest of the group first." Wiz explains.

"This means Leo let Donnie beat the hell outta Raph, who couldn't compete with Don's range. By the time Raph got his revenge, Leo was in way better shape for the final duel."

"And I can hear all the fanboys raging 'But Raph won in the movie! He should win here! Nyah nyah!' No! Four reasons. One: The result of the fight was specifically plot constructive, which is rarely accurate. Two: Leonardo absolutely decimated Raph in the fistfight beforehand. Three: Leonardo didn't want to fight at all. If he did, he would've killed Raphael right here."

"Tilt the blade, slide left. Bam: No more Raph."

"And four: That whole movie doesn't make much sense, to begin with. Why should this?"

"But hey, Leo can still die from that stab, right?"

"Doubtful, for several reasons. Turtles proportionally have smaller vital organs and far more muscle mass than humans, meaning there's little chance Raphael actually hit anything important. Leo's actually been stabbed plenty of times in the series and walked away, and all four turtles have been trained in Chi Kung and can control their breathing and heart rate to survive extreme conditions."

"Looks like Leo got the point of this battle."

"I wanna laugh, but that was tough to watch." Yang says, still holding on to Ruby.

"The winner is Leonardo."

"Well… that was depressing." Jaune says simply.

"Did you see the way Leo looked at the camera? It was like he regretted what just did…" Blake says.

Jaune hit play, secretly hoping the next episode will raise their morale.