"I don't know, Luna," Ciara sighs through the phone. "I mean, are you sure you're ready to deal with all of that?"
I lean back in my chair, staring up at the ceiling. I know the answer - no, I'm not ready to face my father again - but I have to. I can't keep living my life with this looming over my head.
"I have to do this," I exhale. "But I need you there with me."
"Of course," Ciara says. "I wouldn't let you wander in there alone like that."
"So, you'll be here in an hour?" I ask, curling my hair around my fingers. It's grown out past my shoulders now, inching me further and further away from the short-haired girl I was in the Arena.
"On the dot," Ciara says. "See you then."
I bid Ciara farewell, dropping the phone back onto its receiver. What would I do without my best friend?
Since I got home from the Capitol two weeks ago, Ciara's the only person I've talked to other than Simon. Laurentia's headed back up the Capitol with empty promises that she'd call, and the other residents of District Five want nothing to do with me now that the festivities are over. I'm back now, and I can hide up in my home in the Victors' Village for all they care. Doesn't matter as long as they get the year's supply of food and money the Capitol has promised our District.
Ciara has filled me in on my dad's situation while I was gone. I never fully told her what was going on with my dad, but she picked up enough from our conversations to know that he needed to be checked on while I was gone. A week after I left, she found the spare key to my apartment and took a look inside. According to her, the place looked like a crime scene.
"It was disgusting, Luna," she told me. "Rotten food everywhere. And your dad looked like a zombie. It looked like he hadn't gotten up in a week."
He probably hadn't, I told her. Scrambling for a solution, Ciara turned to her brother, who has a friend working at the hospital in Five. With enough manipulation of the system, they managed to get him admitted, but only temporarily.
"They said they'd keep him long enough to diagnose him," Ciara said. "That means, like, finding out what's wrong with him."
It's been a little over a month since I left, though, and we don't know what happened to him. Jossie's friend was able to get my father admitted, but after that, he was out of the loop.
I only found out that my apartment was gone when Ciara brought me a box of my belongings last week.
"I tried to keep these," she said, her eyes empathetic. "I got in just in time. Peacekeepers were dumping everything out, Luna. They said that the rent hadn't been paid, and they were kicking you out, but they let me come in and grab a few things."
So, here I am, waiting for my friend to take me to the hospital to find my missing father. I can't imagine where else he'd be - Jossie said that the hospital was going to try to prolong their examinations as long as possible until I got back, but there's no saying what's been going on in there. My father could be out on the streets for all I know.
My doorbell rings, and I spring out of my chair to answer the door. It's Ciara - her long black hair is tied up today, and she smiles widely as I shut the door behind me.
"Good to see you," my friend says, wrapping me in a hug. "I don't get to see you enough."
Ciara's right - I've only seen her face a few times since I got back. We're lucky to live in Five, where nearly every house has a telephone. Ciara's so busy working at the power plant that she doesn't have the time to walk all the way up to the Victors' Village.
As we approach the hospital, part of me feels glad that my father was sent here, because it proves me right. Damien told me all along that I worked too hard to defend my dad and that he needed to be left alone to figure things out for himself. Well, that's what I was forced to do, and it turns out that I was right. Honestly, the hospital is probably the best place for him anyway.
Still, if my father's issues are something medical, that means there is little hope of recovery in the future. Will I have to look after him for the rest of his life? After everything I've been through in the last month, I don't know if I'll be able to handle that.
The doors to the hospital swing open as we enter the main lobby. The receptionist looks lazily up at us as we approach her.
"Can I help you?" she asks. When she sees my face, she looks like she's just been slapped awake.
"I'm wondering if you know anything about my father," I tell her. "He was admitted here about a month ago."
"Brimstone, right?" the receptionist asks. "You know, I remember you from the Games."
I just nod as the receptionist turns to a cabinet next to her. She ruffles through the folders inside, taking a second look before turning back to me.
"You sure he's still in here?" she asks. I glance at Ciara; she looks as worried as I am.
"We're not sure," I say. "I've been gone for a while. You know."
The receptionist nods, clearly understanding what I'm talking about. She opens a different cabinet, rummaging through its contents and pulling out a file.
"There we go," she says. Her face tells me everything I need to know.
"This'll have everything you need to know," she says, handing me the folder.
Ciara cranes over my shoulder as I flip the file open, revealing the front page. Behind me, Ciara gasps.
Patient: Darius Brimstone
Diagnosis: Undetermined, Strong Symptoms of Depression
Status: Deceased
Cause of Death: Suicide
I drop the folder to the desk in front of me as the blood rushes from my head. "Thanks," I choke out to the receptionist. "I'm just... gonna..."
Ciara grabs my arm, holding me steady as I stumble out of the hospital's front doors.
"I just need some air," I gasp, sitting on a ledge outside the building. Ciara sits next to me.
"I'm sorry, Luna," she says. "I had no idea."
"It's okay," I sigh, and it really is. I'm going to be fine. Don't get me wrong, I care about my dad deeply. Still, I can't remember a time when he was there for me when I needed him.
"My father never really cared about Damien or me. Not after my mom died," I explain to my friend. "Still, he's the only family I had left... I just can't believe he's gone like that."
"Well, he's not the only family you have," Ciara reminds me.
She's right - I'd nearly forgotten about that note Christina gave me. It's sitting at the bottom of a drawer somewhere at home. Somewhere out there in District Five, I have one family member left. Amala.
"I don't know if I'm ready for that," I sigh.
But I'll think about it.
A/N - These last few chapters will be coming in a little slower than usual, I always like to post the first chapter of my next story when I finish the previous one so I'm preparing the first chapter of story number six (woah) as I finish up this one. That also involves a lot of planning and writing to make sure that everything lines up the way I want it to before I post anything. But I can confirm that there are two more chapters left in this story, so look out for those soon!
~S
