It's been a minute... Life happens... This is it, everyone... Last real chapter with only a short epilogue to go. I want to thank all of those that followed and read. Thank you for the comments and the love.

Thank you to marsupial who remains a guiding light and magnificent friend. Skins gave me that gift and I am forever grateful. She's the most incredible human being I could have been gifted.

That said, this is likely my last Skins story for the foreseeable future. Never say never but I have no plans to dive into the untold stories I had in mind when I started my Skins journey 8 years ago... Time flies. Skins gave my creativity an outlet. It helped create friendships and develop my confidence as a writer. It gave me countless of connections with all of you - readers and other writers. Some of the writers on this forum have made this little gay heart swoon many a time.

Note: I made one change to a previous chapter in terms of time. I had it as Emily had been gone two years approximately but it made better sense for it to be longer. I haven't made the edit in the actual previous chapter cause it's only about 6am right now. World Cup Final happening so I'm up.

Ok... here we go...

Ch 42

Since Effy had delivered her news, Naomi had thought of nothing but Emily. Granted she'd never been far from her thoughts, no matter how hard she tried. She had found herself mindlessly pacing her flat more than once. She had given thought to their reunion – how it would go. Effy refused to tell her when Emily was arriving. It felt eminent though.


Emily had smiled and laughed at the sound of his voice. His reaction. He looked a little older, maybe wiser. Settled. The nervous energy she remembered seemed tempered. "And good to see you too Cook." He laughed. It took less than a second for him to reach her and engulf her in a hug that would have likely killed someone unused to him. But to her it felt a bit like home. The air around them was warm now.

"Christ lil red. How… fuck…" His face stayed buried in her neck. She could hear and feel the emotion in him. It was something she'd hoped but wasn't sure to expect. Their good bye was a letter. Ink and paper. It took some getting used to that he was gone. That he'd chosen what he needed. Even under the guise of her need for his departure, his present form spoke more for what the absence had done for him. Silence enveloped them. She waited until her own voice wouldn't betray her the multitude of feelings she was swimming in.

"Really need to suss out how?" She pulled back so she could take in his face. He laughed and shook his head.

"Take it she's still a mastermind?"

"Until her last breath I'm sure." Cook finally put her down and his hand went to her cheek. She tilted her face to it. "It's good to see you."

"Not gonna complain 'ere. I missed that face." Another moment passed and he took a step back. His hand falling to his side. "So… wait.. it's you that's renting this out?"

"Sharp as ever." Emily smiled and shut the car door. The fob in her hand, she pressed the button to open the boot. "Give me a hand?"

"I'll give ya both." He laughed and followed her to the rear of the car. He grabbed her two bags. "Not much 'ere."

"I travel light." She shut the boot and hit the alarm though she realized the chance of her auto being stolen wasn't at all high in these parts. "Mind some company for a couple of weeks?" She spoke as they headed up the walk to the front door. Somehow he handled both bags and managed to pull out the key.

"Couple weeks?" He met her eyes. His mind already trying to figure out if she was in trouble. "E'rything ok?" She smiled as he walked into the place and put down the bags by a well worn but cozy looking two-seater.

"Yes. Everything is quite good. Just… I wanted to see you Cook. Wanted to.." She almost said catch up but that wouldn't do the conversation justice. It wouldn't explain what it was she had been searching for, what she had accomplished. "I think we have some overdue words to share. Don't you?" He looked at his feet. She wondered if it would be easy, if it would be strained. It was a little awkward as they stood there looking at each other. Then she stepped closer and she wrapped him up in her arms.

It felt like an eternal hug. So needed. So deserved – at least in her mind. She heard him sniffle and she smiled. It used to be that she'd worry about the outcome so much that she would be unable to act, to seek out what it was she needed to survive, to thrive. But that Emily had been left on the roads she'd traveled.

"Are you crying?" She asked teasingly.

"Fuck you." He said as he pulled back a little and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Fuck you right back." She laughed.


Every inch of her flat was spotless. She had decided a deep clean was in order. Well not so much decided about the deep clean than starting to wipe the counter, put away clean dishes and energy just surfacing. She pushed all of her thoughts on a mental treadmill. First came the original memories from their youth. Then came the memories of finding Emily and the sequence of events. Then she left. A cyclone of memories threatened to drown her, to suffocate her.

She had grown angry. The sadness was under the surface but it was the anger that had manifested itself in full and vibrant color. Naomi wasn't dumb. She may not have the Stonem mental acuity but she was cognizant enough to understand what Emily had tried to do by leaving. It wasn't easy. Not for any of them. But for the longest time, Naomi took it personally. She wore the departure like a branded letter representing abandonment. She knew it wasn't entirely rational.

It had taken the better part of the first year to work through the initial anger, the initial loss. She'd made mistakes and it cost her a short unpaid leave from work but she had muddled through. Her employers weren't worried then that she would be unprofessional. They merely wanted her to work out her issues and feel healthier. At least that was the company line then. Thankfully, she had managed to keep clear of trouble until her most recent bout of anger that landed her in the anger management classes. Apparently, it was cyclical according to her councilor. She'd done a fist pump and faux cheer which earned her no love from the powers that be.

She had been elbow deep in scrubbing the tub when she recalled the loneliness. It had crept up on her during the second year of Emily's absence. It had been subtle. A Friday night by herself here and there once James and Effy started their downward spiral. At least that is what she had labeled it. She couldn't fathom what she saw in him. He was young, loud. She thought him foolish and downright childish. It took time for her to understand the connection. She could see small changes in Effy. So small she didn't know if Effy had noticed them herself as they happened. There was a calmness that belied not just the eternal Stonem confidence but a softness that enveloped it. She was happy for her friend. Truly. She wouldn't admit it to either Effy or James. But she was more than certain Effy knew how she felt. She was good with James never knowing.

The memories of being lonely tugged at her. It wasn't something that completely went away. She tried dating midway through the second year. A couple of setups that went nowhere. Granted that it had been co-workers that set her up so they weren't exactly privy to who she was outside of work. Effy tried to get her on dating apps without telling her. That led to better dates but nothing that worked past a third date for the most part. One particular app kept her distracted through the better part of the third year. It was mindless physical connections but they helped. But the loneliness still remained. By the end of the third year, she had deleted all of the apps. That led to this round of anger.

Naomi had merely traded one thing for another all of it leading her to the emptiness she felt. She was frustrated at not having her Emily. The lack of sex did not help. During one unfortunate evening at Effy's, James made a comment about her temper and sex and ended up wearing her dinner. Not her finest moment. She had really been enjoying the shepherd's pie until it was on his face.

She was laying on the floor in front of her couch when she heard the door open and close. She rolled her eyes knowing what to expect.

"Oh dear… Have you fallen and can't get up?" Blue eyes looked down at her with a mischievous grin. "Do we need to get you one of those granny necklaces for emergencies?"

"Fuck… off." She growled. Naomi did nothing to move, to get up and greet Effy.

"Fancy going to my flat and letting all that energy out there? I'm pretty sure we can eat off your floor right now." Effy looked around. "You cleaned the ceiling lamps? Impressive." She nudged Naomi with her boot. "Up now. We need to get you out of this place."

"I'm not people-ing today." She knew she was grumpy. She should have been tired but she really wasn't. But going out in public was not something she wished to do. She threw her arm over her eyes to prevent the icy stare from affecting her resolve. "Whatever thick plot you've conjured, get the puppy to help you. I'm not moving."

"It wasn't a request." She nudged her harder with her boot.

"Oi!" Naomi moved her arm and flashed her own blue eyes back at Effy. "Quit that." Effy nudged her again and took a step back when Naomi tried swatting her.

"Your flat is well sorted…your person… less so. Get your arse up and into something resembling fashion and let's get you done up."

"What part of fuck off are you having a hard time getting?" Effy had walked off towards the bedroom. "I'm… not… going…"

"I will write on the shiny mirrors with your lipstick if you aren't up in ten seconds…"

"Effy…"

"8…7…" She heard the unmistakable sound of her makeup drawer opening and closing. "5…4…"

"Fuck!" Naomi was up in a flash.


"Christ girl you look great." Cook had managed to clear his afternoon and had gone shopping for some food items with her. He was chopping peppers as she stirred the sauce on the pan. "You actually glow… did you do one of them tanning beds?" Emily laughed.

"No. I most certainly did not. Toss those in that bowl with the seasoning." She put the chicken on the pan while lowering the heat a bit. She was thankful the kitchen in the little cottage was well stocked for cooking. She managed to dig up a little rice cooker hidden in the back of a cabinet. The jasmine rice was simmering and would only take a few minutes more before being done. "Last leg of my trip took me to Morocco. I caught some sun."

"Morocco? Well fuck me." He laughed. "You really went around the world in… whatever days that book was.." He smiled and wiped his hands on a kitchen towel. "How long you been gone?"

"Umm.. long… probably too long for some…"

"Blondie?" Emily met his eyes and nodded. "Yeah… doesn't seem like the patient kind… but then again she 'ad it bad so…" He shrugged his shoulders.

"It's been almost four years Cook." She admitted after turning the chicken over. He whistled at her answer. "Yeah… I didn't think… I wasn't sure how long it would take but… it just kept… I don't know. I wasn't ready…"

"And you're ready now?"

"More than." She nodded. She covered the pan with a lid and took an offered glass of wine from his hand. She lowered the heat a little more before she and he walked to the two seater. With her legs under her, she sat next to him and smiled. "I had… a lot of things to figure out… you know?"

"Fuckin' understatement." He drank from his glass and made a bit of a face. "I swear… I keep trying to get posh with this stuff but it never tastes like a proper pint." Emily laughed. "So's you sorted things… you know.." He pointed to his head and then his chest.

"Yeah… yeah I did." She played with her glass. "I understood you know… maybe not exactly.. not right away… when you took off." He looked down at his lap. "It was hard… to think about.. feeling you gone… but there was something that I don't know… the way I started looking at it was that you didn't know you like I didn't know me." She took a sip from her wine. "That's a lot of know's" She laughed as did he.

"Too many… but I get it." He sighed and thought about taking another sip then shook his head. He stood up and went to the fridge and grabbed one of the beers he'd gotten at the store while they were out. "I wasn't in a good place… not for you… not for Effy… not for me. I… had to work on meself too. I don't know that I'm right glowing like you, all sussed out but I'm getting there." He sat next to her again. She took his empty hand and held it. It tugged at his heart. "I really am sorry."

Emily shook her head. "I know. I… I took my time to be angry with you." He almost pulled his hand away but she held on to it. "I saw it through… well it was my own eyes but I first faced it as if I was looking at someone else. Someone else going through it all… feeling it." She swallowed but didn't look away. "It hurt. I think almost as much as going through it the first time. God it hurt."

"Aw lil red" Cook look like he'd been struck. She shook her head.

"No. It's good. I went through it. It helped." She squeezed his hand. "I'm not here to dig everything up Cookie." The use of such a tender name pulled at his heart. "I wanted to see you… to see you… see how you were. If you'd made peace." He shrugged. "Like I said. I took my time to hurt, to be angry… to forgive." She brought his hand to her lips and kissed the back of it.

"Aww Ems." His voice sounded thick. The knob on the cooker popped signaling the rice was truly ready. She knew the chicken could use a little longer so the didn't move, didn't let him move.

"What happened… it was… supremely fucked. And maybe… choices were made that were shit. But I'm here. I'm stronger. And I have my life waiting for me."

"Damn girl… you really done worked it out. Fucking good fer you." He nodded. "I'm proud of you. I am. I may not have a right to be and maybe I don't know… maybe it makes me happier that I left and maybe that helped you get 'ere. I don't know. But I am proud of you."

"Did ya find peace?" He laughed and took a long pull on the beer. He licked his lips.

"A little… can't say I'm done forgiving myself.. you've a kinder heart than I deserve." She was about to say something and he shook his head. "Naw.. you do have a kind heart. Always did. And I'm ok with taking more time to figure out what to feel towards meself you know?" He took another drink. "I've built something here. Nothing grand. Nothing fancy but it's solid and I'm trying. I stopped hating meself if that helps." He chuckled. "That was my big step. The rest… well it'll come when it comes. I am happy to see you. Real 'appy. I never thought it would happen."

"I'm glad I'm here too Cookie. I had to see you before I went home." She smiled at the thought of that word. "I don't know what's waiting for me there." He looked at her with questions visible on his face. "I never talked to her after I left. I emailed James or Effy sometimes. Let them know where I was… that I was safe… But we didn't talk much. I needed… I don't know… space.. I didn't want to become someone else for them.. I wanted to become me… on my own."

"Fucking grown fer sure." He laughed. Emily smiled.

"I know it hurt them. My silence… my absence. But it wasn't a bad hurt. I don't know if that makes sense. I didn't hurt them to hurt them. I took what I needed for me. And they loved me for it. That was a big reveal yeah? That people who are supposed to love you actually love you."

"And blondie?"

"Not sure. I wanted to reach out… a million times… I wanted to. But I wanted her to know the whole of me. Not the little bits I was piecing together. I don't know if she waited. I never asked her to. It wouldn't have been right. And I didn't want my decisions to be… influenced by her life.. So.. yeah.. not a word. Flash forward to now…"

"You worried?"

"No. I'm.. well that's not entirely true. I hope she's wanting me still. But whether she does or doesn't… I'm still going home. I'm still going to live my life. I want to do it with her. But I know I can't expect anything."

"Did you do drugs in the desert? Like have some sort of brain changing stuff cause fuck if you don't sound wise." He giggled in the best way.

"Ha ha. Fucking tosser. Let's eat." She stood up and put her glass down. Cook stood and took the moment to hug her.

"I love you lil red. And for what it's worth… blondie will wait.. That girl will watch all the sunsets by 'erself until you're there with her."

"Shut up." She tucked her face into his neck and dared to hope he was right.


Effy had dragged Naomi to a number of shops in a whirlwind afternoon. It took only a couple of hours to spend a lot of money on clothes Naomi didn't think she needed. She grumbled her way through only a few fittings before the brunette took over and just chose things including new undergarments much to Naomi's dismay. It was evident how well thought out the day had been when Effy popped them into a salon. They had appointments for full body massages, haircuts, nails and some less than thrilling waxing. Naomi drew the line at some things.

When they got back to Naomi's flat, and the door was open, the smell of food hit her. Effy took her time closing the door and dropping the bags on the couch as Naomi stormed into the kitchen.

"What… the … fuck? How did you get in?" She yelled. James Fitch jumped out of his skin at the sound of her voice. He stared at her with wide eyes. He wore an apron and was holding a ladle in his hand. He tried opening and closing his mouth, wishing words would form but nothing came out.

"Down Killer. I gave him a key to your place."

"Eff!"

"I didn't ask for it." James spoke at the same time and received a withering glare from Naomi.

"Naomi." Effy said it in a low tone.

"Just cause you two are… just cause you're…"

"Fucking.. living together…" Effy waved her hand and walked to James. She put an arm around his waist. "I love him Naoms. And if I love him, you have to love him. He's wearing an apron and cooking. Be nice." She gave him a soft kiss on the lips and his entire face lit up.

"I… ugh…" Naomi rubbed her eyes. "Fine… fine.. he can have a key… but he comes over without letting me know and I will maim him. Understood?" She pointed a finger at him while looking at Effy who smiled.

"Got it. Maiming."

"I promise to use my key for good only." James tried smiling and joining the conversation. Naomi shook her head and gave a low growl. He took it as a win.


Emily had taken a long shower after watching tv and digging into the room service. She had thought about what was supposed to be two weeks visiting Cook turning into two months. It had been so easy. The town had been a marvel. The people had been lovely. She had spent time reconnecting with him on a deeper level and perhaps helped him on his own journey to accepting himself. She was hopeful she'd helped. He'd introduced her to a young woman he had been seeing. It was good. She hadn't wanted to leave after two weeks because it didn't seem like enough time.

The past month had been a slow trek to home. Visting smaller towns and reminding herself she could be herself anywhere she wanted. No one could stop her. She danced in small pubs to small local bands and laughed with older folks as she listened to their tales. It was good. Now she stood in front of a door she hadn't realized would look so intimidating. She almost didn't knock, almost turned right around and went back to her hotel room. She closed her eyes and counted to ten. She smiled, not having had to resort to this technique in years.


"I don't get it. You deliver babies… you cook… you make… this one…" Naomi waved her hand at Effy. "Ridiculously happy… like it's scary…"

"I also clean." James was feeling proud and decided to push his luck.

"Ugh… fuckin' hell Eff… you have a wife…" Effy smiled and stood up. She went to James and leaned down, kissing him, touching his face. Naomi rolled her eyes.

"Not yet.. but who knows." She left both James and Naomi open-mouthed as she walked to the door. The knock came two seconds later. Her hand was turning the knob and pulling it open. "Impeccable timing." Emily blinked at her. She was too stunned to flinch. Effy stepped aside. "Well are you gonna stand there?"

"Eff was that the…" Naomi had come up behind her and stopped short. Her eyes seeing Emily. She swallowed and felt the dryness in her throat, her mouth.

"EMSY!" The shout came from behind her. James sidestepped Naomi and launched himself into his sister. He picked her up and they hugged while laughing. Effy's eyes were on Naomi. She could see the shock in her posture, the fear in her eyes. The longing. A tsunami of emotions kept under tight pressure and quarters the past four years were fighting for sovereignty and all failing. She stepped away from the siblings and laid a hand on Naomi's arm. The blonde managed to look at her then.

The two pairs of blue eyes converged. A conversation, decades in the making, was taking place without a single sound. One long shuddered breath later and Naomi nodded. "James… put a plate together for your sister would you? I'm sure she's hungry." She walked to the kitchen. She didn't need to tell him twice. He put Emily down and kissed her cheek. He followed after his own love while glancing at Naomi and offering a likely ill-conceived thumbs up. He would ponder with dread the remaining steps to the kitchen.

Emily closed the door behind her and turned to Naomi. She met her eyes and smiled. "Hi Naoms." Her heart was beating harder than she expected. As much as she had thought about the encounter, it had paled in every way. "You look great." Naomi for her part actually looked down at what she was wearing, not recollecting which outfit she had ended up in after the day of shopping. She looked behind her but both Effy and James were locked in an embrace. She turned to Emily.

"Uh… thanks… you look… you look good too." She shook her head. "Christ… that was…" Emily smiled and let out a small laugh. "Glad you're amused." She wanted to be angry. To feel contempt and disdain. But she couldn't. "Are you… back?" Emily nodded and took a step closer. "Did you… you know.. find what you needed?"

"Some." Emily looked at the woman in front of her and gave a bigger smile at first. Then a little doubt crept in. "I did a lot of work… thinking… it was really good. But it wasn't everything."

"It wasn't?" Naomi had trouble breathing regularly. She kept counting in her head to remind her to take air in and let it out. Emily shook her head. "So… um… what now?"

Emily shrugged her shoulders. "Now… I want company to figure out the rest."

"You do?"

"Yeah I do… don't know if you'd be up for it." She bit her lip and looked down. She was nervous in a good way. "I was gone a long time… and I get it if you…" She didn't finish the thought. Hands lifted her face gently but urgently. Lips met hers. The fire in her belly was set completely ablaze. With eyes closed, she let herself drift into the other woman. Naomi stopped kissing her a moment but didn't pull away.

"I'm sorry… I should have asked… if it was ok." She swallowed and her eyes roamed the perfect face in front of her. Her dreams could never do it justice. "Is it? Ok?" Emily nodded. They kissed again, deeper. They didn't stop kissing as Effy and James made their exit. Even when they moved to the couch, they never noticed they were alone. Not really. It felt like there was too much to say and not enough words to say it. So they kissed. Their hands touching each other's faces. Their shoulders. Fingers intertwining. Palms felt. Calluses noticed and adored. They took a break when their lips hurt.

"I missed you." Emily said.

"I missed you too." Naomi ran her thumb over Emily's cheek. "I was… insufferable." Emily laughed.

"I don't even want to imagine." She turned serious a moment. "You know I didn't want to leave you? That it had nothing to do with…"

"I know… I do… It wasn't easy to… but yeah… I know." Their foreheads touched. "But you're here yeah? For good?"

"If you'll have me."