A/N: So yeah I know I dived into some heartache and angsty bits in the past chapter and it will continue for a bit in this chapter… sorry/not sorry :D LOL But it will be brighter in ch 15 I promise.

Still need to work out where to end this, hopefully with about 2 more chapters after ch 15…

Huge thanks to all who keep reading, it means the world to me.

Thank you to my wonderful beta for helping me with this.

Enjoy.

Chapter 14.

Emma was still crying her eyes out when she heard her parents enter the hallway on the other side of the door.

It took a lot of effort for her to rise to her feet and unlock the door, hoping that Killian hadn't followed them inside. She wasn't sure she could face him right now, things were too raw.

Her mother embraced her in a tight hug but never spoke a word, only making calming noises. That in itself was rather strange as her mother usually had a lot of comforting and well-meaning advice to give. It was late before she slipped into a fretful sleep, her mother offering to sleep on the couch that night.

The next morning Emma woke with puffy and grainy eyes, and she self-indulged in some misery by scrolling through the online platforms and seeing new headlines about her and Killian. Shit, that hurt like hell seeing her face plastered over social media. When she stumbled upon the pictures showing Elsa in a baby shop her heart broke once again, what if it was true what if Killian had dated Elsa behind her back?

Her mother offered to pick up breakfast from Granny's but Emma shook her head. "I need some fresh air, to clear my head."

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit."

"Will you call him?"

"I don't know, Mom, my feelings are all over the place right now. I can't even think straight." Emma sighed and shrugged on her coat. "I might text him later just to let him know I'm still here."

"Just know that whatever happens, we have your back."

"I know, and thanks, Mom." She gave her mother a hug and opened the door. Her mother had told her that the paparazzi had camped down on the sidewalk. She was still surprised to see a group of six people mingling about, sipping from their travel mugs, their insanely large camera lenses hanging around their necks. "How the hell did they find out where I live?" Emma mumbled.

"I don't know sweetie. Just ignore them." Her mother tugged her arm under Emma's. "Let's go have breakfast and we can go home to our place if you want."

"Miss Swan… Miss Swan," one paparazzo called out. "Why did Killian leave yesterday, did he finally fez up having another woman's child?"

Emma's heart sliced in pieces, she clutched at her mother's arm.

"Are you still dating Killian Jones?"

"Or are you going to be sister-wives with Elsa Winters?"

"She is pregnant with his child isn't she?"

Every question broke Emma, and she pushed at her mother silently begging her to walk faster. Soon she could only hear the blood rushing in her ears, she never heard what other vile questions were thrown at her. She couldn't deal with this, never again, she wanted out of this and she could only see one way this could happen.

Emma remained quiet during breakfast and she only answered with a nod or shake of her head at whatever her mother asked. In the end, her mother seemed to give up and let her be.

Back at her parent's place she locked herself in her old bedroom and curled up on the bed with one of her old stuffed bears clutched to her chest. When she finally looked at her phone, she saw several messages from Killian, all along the line of:

I'm so sorry, love.

Please let me know if you're okay

Are we okay?

Call me

Text me.

What's going on?

She re-read each text while her heart tried to piece together her options. Living a life with Killian would bring more episodes like this and she wasn't sure she could ever get used to it. The paparazzi got so close to her home, her private life so they now stood guard outside her house, that was the last straw for her frayed heart and soul.

This was not the life she'd pictured having with Killian, her heart wasn't strong enough and with those thoughts still whirling inside her she typed out:

I'm sorry Killian this won't work, I can't live like this. The fucking paps are outside my home. That is not the life I want. I want my quiet life with my books and writing. We're done, it's over, I can't be with you anymore.

Sending the text was done while crying but she couldn't see any other way to find some calm and sense in her life again.

ONE MONTH LATER

Emma was stacking books in the bookshop, it was trivial work but it was nice to be doing something. Her heart was still chipped and frayed from the breakup but she tried to move on each day, trying to see the good in all the words she'd written in the past month. She ignored the texts being sent to her from Killian's band members, not even wanting to open them and read them. It was a part of her life she'd rather just forget.

"Emma!" Belle screamed and came rushing out from the back office, her phone clutched in her hand. "You won't believe who just called?"

"Santa Claus." Emma gave her boss a wry smile.

"Oh, come on." Belle waved her phone between them. "Mills Movies."

"What?" Emma's mind whirled with what the movie company might want from her. "New movie deal?" Emma asked, not daring to believe this could even be possible.

"Oh, this is deff one better." Belle swiped her hand in front of her in a wide arc. "The Oscars."

Emma dropped the book still in her hand. "What?"

"Your movie freaking got Oscar nominations," Belle said and did a little happy dance. It was so very unlike her to be so giddy.

"That…" Emma's mind swirled in various emotions then it hit her. "Did you say that in plural?" Having her story, being nominated for an Oscar was one thing but it usually was only the biggest of the biggest that got more than one nomination.

"Oh, you bet I did."

"What… what categories?" Emma breathed out, supporting herself against the shelves behind her.

"Best Picture."

"Damn… and?" She waved for Belle to continue, still not sure her ears had heard this right.

"Best Adapted Screenplay." Belle smiled. "That will be Ruby's fantastic work there, and a credit to you as the author."

"Wow, that is amazing!" Emma was still trying to grasp what that meant, her story was being watched by the Hollywood elite and they had nominated it for the Oscars, as in plural.

"Yeah it is amazing, I bet you'll be invited to the Oscar party, it's your story, Mills Movies better make you one of their guests," Belle said, firmly.

Emma shook her head, she wasn't sure she'd survive going through such a large event. "I don't know…"

"Oh, if they ask you'll get your ass to LA, miss," Belle warned. "This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience."

"But I'll be seeing…" Emma bit her lips. "I mean if he's even invited to the party."

"I'm pretty sure he will be."

"Oh, why?" She asked and tilted her head, but her face fell when her boss looked a bit worried as she glanced down at the phone in her hand.

"What… what are you not telling me?"

"Well, there's a third nomination." Belle tapped her finger on the screen. "Best Original Song."

"So…" Emma blinked as the meaning of Belle's words settled inside her. "Killian…"

"Yup his song, 'His Forever Girl', is nominated."

"Seriously!" Emma felt all air leave her lungs. "I can't come face to face with him again. I just can't, my heart won't survive." She hugged herself.

"You still love him don't you?"

"No!" Emma said a little forcefully. She had carefully rebuilt her wall the past month and wasn't about to see it all come crumbling down at an Oscar Awards show. "I won't come then."

"Emma, please." Belle looked at her pleadingly, "Think about it, if you truly want to be happy you should definitely try to reach out to him."

"I'm not so sure I can do that."

"Think about it, one text congratulating him on the nomination, what can it hurt?"

Emma just shook her head, not even sure she'd even send that text, but as her mind realized how far her story had come, she wondered if a text might open a door she thought forever closed.

Killian ignored the obnoxious knocking on the cabin door, and took another swig of his rum, swiping over his mouth with the back of his hand. His head slumped against the backrest of the couch. When the knocking persisted he bellowed, "Bugger off, Will."

"How did you know it was me?" Will's voice called from outside. "Open the bloody door now, Jones, I will not have my star singer wallowing in his own piss over some chick who broke his heart."

"Stop talking shite about Emma." Killian scrambled to his feet and stumbled to the door, the rum having a good strong hold on his bodily functions. He yanked the door open and glared at his agent. "Got more rum with ya'."

"Good heavens, Jones it reeks of a brewery here."

"Why did you bother driving out here?"

"Because you, my man, got to get your shit together and be ready for the biggest event of your life." Will stabbed his finger into Killian's chest.

"What the bloody hell are you on about?" Killian rubbed over his face, the cool air outside had woken up his alcohol-muddled brain.

"The Academy wants you to perform at the Oscar show next month."

"Bloody hell." Killian staggered back, trying to understand. "Why the hell would they want my wannabe arse at the Oscars."

"Because the song you wrote, and was used in the movie you starred in."

"What about it?"

"Are you daft man, did you never check your mail?"

"Nope."

"Your song, 'His Forever Girl', is fucking nominated man."

"What?"

"What part of Academy Award no-mi-na-tion did you not understand?" Will pronounced each syllable, and he smiled when Killian finally gaped at his mate.

"The song got nominated?"

"Aye, Best Original Song." Will lifted a hand when Killian was about to speak. "That is not all, the movie is also up for two other Oscars."

"For real?"

"Best movie and Best Adapted Screenplay."

"Wow." Killian's brain was finally awake, and he felt a spark of happiness at this news. "That is bloody fantastic. Does the rest of the band know?"

"No, I thought I'd tell you first and announce the performance act at our next studio meeting." Will looked pointedly at Killian. "The meeting you will not miss, right?"

Killian groaned as his agent had driven out here a fortnight ago berating his sorry arse for letting his band down by not showing up at their studio meetings. It had changed in the following weeks, but this week had been a rare week off and he'd retreated to a remote cabin, far away from any prying eyes of the press.

"Aye, I'll be there."

"They'll be so excited," Will said with a big grin. He then sobered up and regarded Killian with a rare serious look. "Have you heard from her yet?"

Every nerve ending in his body fizzled with a mix of anger and regret, "no." Was his short answer, despite knowing that a message had pinged in this afternoon with her name on it. He hadn't opened it. Reading it would bring too much pain. "I can't."

"You need to either confront her or let her go," Will said in a serious tone. "We need our old Killian back, that heartache you're carrying around is doing nothing for your muse."

"It's just too much right now if we're going to perform at the Oscars. I need to focus on my music."

"Alright, if that is your game plan we go with that." Will shook his head and Killian knew that his agent might have thought of another route to take in this, but Killian couldn't see it any other way. Emma was clearly not interested in having that picture-perfect life with him, as she'd proclaimed. All gone to shits because of the pressure of the paps, gods he hated those vultures.

The following month was filled with band practice, getting ready for the big event. It would be the biggest one yet for them as a band. Killian dived headfirst into the music and buried his bruised heart under the workload it took to prepare for the Oscars. He ignored any comments on who might come to the Oscars; he reassured himself that he didn't really care if Emma came or not; it was her story being told in that movie. The song was his secret declaration of love to her. But the world was none the wiser thinking the song was written for some different purpose. No one needed to know who he would really be singing to.

ONE MONTH LATER

Emma gazed over the LA cityscape splayed out below Ruby's large villa, in a few days she would attend the Oscars. How crazy was that? When Regina Mills had personally called her up and invited her to be in the Mills Movies' party she gracefully accepted, despite knowing that Killian would be part of the hubbub as well. But since he was a nominee she'd been told by Ruby that he would be sitting in a whole different area of the theater.

"Ready for another day of shopping?" Belle asked from the kitchen island. Emma had invited Belle as her plus-one. This made the most sense since Belle had been the one helping her boost her career by doing all her online profiling.

"I'm surprised how much shopping is needed for attending the Oscars," Emma said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, and we have spa appointments this afternoon," Ruby shouted from the hallway having received their diner dash lunch. Ruby had taken Belle under her wing when both she and Emma had landed in LA a week before.

The three women ate their lunch and talked about dress and hairstyle options for the big event. Emma had already found her dress, a soft lilac-coloured princess-style dress. Perhaps a bit more pompous than what she'd usually pick, but this was the Oscars and she knew there certainly would be someone else doing some over-dramatic stunt on their choice of dress.

It was only a few more accessories she needed, so they would be heading for Victoria's Secret first as she would need a new strapless bra.

In the car heading for the city, the girls kept talking and at one point Ruby looked closer at Emma. "So how are you holding up?"

"Uh?"

"You know with everything that happened between you and mr-hot-as-hell-singer." Ruby fanned herself. "Don't tell Graham I said that." She giggled but sobered up when Emma bit her lips. "Look sorry if it's still too raw to let out in the open."

Emma waved her off. "No it's okay, but to be honest being back here in LA might have ripped a few new cracks in my mending heart."

"You still love him, don't you?"

"Yeah despite…" Emma looked down at her clasped hands. "You know."

"The pirate ghosted you big time," Ruby growled and made a face of disgust. "I'd be happy to go slap some sense in his little man-brain."

"Don't, not for me, I just have to accept that I blew it all up, it's my own fault. I also ghosted him for far too long." Emma was sure he'd never read the message she'd sent last month, giving her congratulations on his nomination. Since then she'd patched up her heart and tried to move forward.

"How is it your fault?" Belle asked.

"I got so angry and frustrated when those paps came to my home town I let it all blow up in his face. But I just couldn't handle all that fame getting so close to the only place I'd ever felt safe." Emma took a deep breath and glanced out of the window realizing that they were almost at their destination. "Never mind about that."

Ruby gave her a hard stare and tapped the window separating them from the driver. When it rolled down she called out, "Roger take a little detour please."

Roger never asked any questions, only rolled up the window and pulled out into the traffic again.

Emma hugged her arms around herself. "I'm not trying to ruin our day here with my heartache."

"Pishposh." Ruby waved her off. "This is important and if you really do love this guy you should go get him, make that grand gesture you write about in your books."

"What?" Emma blinked confused at her friend.

"Come on Emma you write romance books, and the story always ends with some big and grand gesture from either him or her." Ruby looked at her pointedly.

"Uh?"

"And since it doesn't seem as if the dude has a grand gesture planned out, you get your ass in action and get that brilliant mind of yours plotting.

"Eh, yeah…" Emma trailed off, her mind whirling with ideas, but she came up short so she glanced at her friends. "Any ideas?"

Both women went silent for a few moments, and then Ruby exclaimed, "I have the most brilliant idea!" She shifted forward in the seat opposite Emma.

"What?" Emma eyed her friend warily.

"It might have to involve the big bosses at Mills Movies to pull some strings but I'm pretty sure that you in two days will have that grand gesture of yours."

"Two days… but that's at the… Oscars?" Emma's voice trailed off and barely registered what grand plan Ruby had laid out for her, not until she had Regina Mills on the phone. How could this even be possible? It was not likely to be a success, she never dared believe it, not even when Regina Mills agreed to use her contacts in the academy to make this happen.