28th October 2022, Al-Mazrah, U.R.A.

I was sitting beside Soap, fully geared up. The dark grey cargo pants I normally wore, were replaced by a pair of black pants. My upper garments were hidden underneath a thick black turtleneck. To further amplify my safety, I wore a tactical west, protecting all my vital organs and giving me a sense of safety. I ditched the hood I would normally wear and instead sported a helmet, fitted with night vision goggles and a headset to keep our hearing in check. To satisfy my face-less anonymity, I kept my balaclava on at all times in combination with my trusty mask.

Despite all the safety precautions I had taken, my gloved fingers scratched nervously at the hem of my trousers, as we drove over the small base towards the rendezvous point. Stopping beside the cargo helo, Soap gave me a pat on the back and we both jumped out of the back of the truck. Taking a few steps towards the upcoming man, I stopped beside the Sergeant, both watching our new teammate approach us. Soap was quick in making a move while I took in the Lieutenant from the distance.

The man in question was perhaps a good head taller than Soap and I. Wearing simple jeans and a dark grey jumper, he carried the same bulletproof military armour vest as everyone else did. The single belt that was strapped to his thigh allowed him to bear numerous knives with him, knives that weren't commonly used by anyone else. Lifting my gaze to his head, I noticed the skull that hid his face, bellow the helmet we all were provided with.

I did not have enough time to take in all the details the mask itself displayed, but what I could see from my point of view, was that he had only used the frontal part of a skull for his masquerade. Everything else, was missing and quite frankly would not make any sense otherwise. His skull was achieving the desired effect regardless.

"Let's get ourselves a win, yeah Lt.?" Soap spoke smugly, hitting the Lieutenant on his shoulder. I silently watched the interaction and when I noticed the Lieutenants eyes on me, I gave a curt nod. "Save ya a seat, sir…" Soap spoke again, turning around and nodding my way. Taking a last look at our Lieutenant called Ghost, I turned as well and followed suit, fingers grasping the weapon slightly tighter against my abdomen.

Taking a seat between my assigned teammates, Soap set opposite of me, an empty seat to his right. The Lieutenant, joined us soon after, sitting silently beside Soap, eyes boring straight ahead. Not long after, bright red lights burned above our heads as the helo took off. My eyes roamed freely between the soldiers, taking in their tense forms. The anticipation about the upcoming fight, the anxiety and distress were in an all-time high. I felt the emotions hit me in waves and roll over my body. Focusing back on the different faces, my eyes found the one man that stood out like a sore thumb. The once white skull was now glowing red under the glaring light, shadows jumping all over it. I squinted my eyes in the hopes of seeing him clearer, but his eyes were hidden in the shadows.

Suddenly he stood up.

"Bravo team offloads here." His deep voice rumbled through the room. "Alpha team stays onboard to land downgrade." He continued as he walked between the seated soldiers. "Both teams meet in the middle. Remember, we want Hassan alive, but this is capture or kill." He looked back at all of us, and I could finally see a glimpse of his white sclera.

Bravo team sprang into action, every one of them hastily rose to their feet, as the halo slowly lowered to the ground. Soap stood before me, eyes already on me as I craned my neck back and looked up at him.

"See ya in the middle, Corporal." He uttered and stretched his fist towards me. I quickly followed with my own and gave him a solid fist bump. He tore himself away from me and followed Ghost out as he called after him to keep up. When we were back in the air, I got this overwhelming feeling of changing positions. Giving in, I sat on the seat Soap previously occupied. Slightly feeling better, I checked away at the list I had saved in my head.

First act complete – check.

Suddenly there was commotion and the pilot yelled in his headset. "All stations. Razor-1 is bracketed, we're getting lit!

All at once I felt my heart shoot up my throat. Swiftly, I clawed at the metal contraptions keeping our seats connected to the chopper. My fingers hurt from the strength I unleashed on them, but there was no other way for me to keep myself seated otherwise. I began to feel dizzy from the panic and fear that grew in me.

Before long the co-pilot howled into our comms again. "Incoming- Flares! Flares!" I felt colour drain from my face as I looked around with terror-stricken eyes. My teammates weren't doing any better. I counted two looking down, eyes tightly shut. One was looking into the air, and it seemed as he was mumbling something. Maybe he was praying? There was also one man, who stayed calm and unmoving, starring without a care in the world through the window opposite of him.

Seconds passed and we were still soaring through the sky. Allowing myself to loosen the death grip I had, thinking the problem was taken care of, I did not hear the second shot approaching. All I managed to grasp was the outside that lit up, as the flares were let loose. But it was too late. The missile hit the aircraft at the tail, and we began to lose control.

"Razor 1 going down! We're going down!" I heard the pilot scream.

Everything happened so fast I had barely time to think. We began to spin violently and my efforts to hold tight onto my seat were thrown out of the window when my hands slipped. My eyes widened even further when I noticed the fire licking at the insides of the helo, around the hatch, where Alpha team jumped out not even forty seconds ago. I full on panicked, hands fumbling to get a solid grip again, eyes wandering aimlessly, as a searched for solace in the faces around me. Big mistake, as even the man who seemed unbothered before, was now in distress. I closed my eyes, as I could not bear to witness the frightened faces or dare to look death in the eyes as we crashed to the ground.

"Alpha, what's your status?!" Ghost's voice stirred me awake.

What happened? How long was I gone?

Coughing, I turned on my side and nearly lost it when I felt the agonizing pain shoot up my arm. Instinctively rolling back, I bit down on my tongue to keep myself from screaming out loud. When I felt the pain eventually lower to an uncomfortable buzzing beneath my skin, I slowly blinked my eyes open. Gasping in utter shock, I sat up as if I was possessed by the devil himself. Men laid around me, their eyes closed, but the positions their bodies were in, was unnatural and enough to fuel my nightmares for days.

"Alpha, how copy…?" I heard Ghost call out again, followed by Soap's concerned yell. "Ascii! Do you copy?!"

I managed to push against the communication device secured to my vest with trembling fingers. "Oh my god…" I murmured, disturbed to my core. "Bravo- Alpha team is immobile. Multiple critical!" Abruptly a shot resonated through the ringing in my ears, and I cowered. "Ah shit biscuits! We're taking effective fire!" I yelled into my comm and pulled myself off the ground. Back flush against the chopper's side, I had a quick look around. Zeroing in on a crate not too far away from me, I tripped over bodies as I ran towards it. Slamming against the box, I ducked behind it, effectively shielding myself from the oncoming bullet storm.

"Alpha, we are moving to building one. Hold tight!" Ghost barked into the comms.

Cowering behind the cover like a coward, I tried to access the damage. From what I could gather, not a single bone was broken in my body. I may have several bruises and endlessly more blooming from the impacts my body had taken, but nothing compared to the trauma team Alpha witnessed. Glancing around, broken glass was scattered all over the place, blood was trickling down the sides of the fallen men's bodies, equipment littered the ground. It looked like a battlefield; it was a battlefield, and I was right in between. The burn on my right arm worsened and I carefully peeled the sleeve away and hissed. Examining the damage on my lower arm, I jerked the cloth back over it, crying out in pain as I accidentally touched the glass that was embedded into the soft flesh. Taking several deep breaths, I began grounding myself when I heard a groan. Snapping my head towards the sound, I saw a man leaning against the wall of the cockpit.

Someone was alive? Oh god, someone was alive! I cried on the inside.

"Hey!" I called out. "If you can move, hurl yourself against the side or a corner. We are under heavy fire!" I commanded.

"I- I can't feel my legs…" A hoarse voice answered.

Shit. Looking over my shoulder, I slowly peeked over the obstacles I was hiding behind. Building two was looming over us barely ten meters away and I could hear men barking orders if I listened closely. Scanning the area further, I saw people standing on the balcony, weapons aimed directly at… me.

Ducking back in record speed, my heartbeat shot up to my throat when the bullets hit the metal construction and the crate I was hiding behind. Realizing I was not as safe as I had anticipated at first, I knew I needed to change my position as fast as possible. Changing to a crouching position, I planted a hand on the solid ground and waited for the right opportunity. An opportunity I prayed will arise. As if on cue, the bullets died down and I sprang into action. Pushing myself off the ground with as much force as I managed, I sprinted towards the cockpit, when suddenly a missile hit the side of the wreck.

Metal creaking, ground shaking, I tripped over a leg after I miss-stepped and lost balance. Crashing to the ground, I barely managed to pull my legs apart in time, less I wanted to crush the still breathing men who was leaning against the wall. Hands bracing my fall further, I caged the soldier between myself and the aircraft. Startled we stared at each other.

"Fucking hell, sorry." I called out and turned my comms on. "Bravo, crash site is taking RPGs from building two!"

I was quick to give the wounded soldier some space and looked him over. Pressing my hands against his legs, I began palpating him, slowly moving from his feet up to his hips. "Can you feel my touch?" I asked while working on him.

"Barely." He breathed out, eyes pressed shut from the pain he must be feeling.

"What about this?" I asked as I moved my hands over his abdomen and chest, lastly patting down each of his arms.

"Yes, I can feel that." He panted between short breaths.

"Okay good, good." I crawled to his side and noticed the gap of air between his lower back and the wall. Snaking a hand in between, I stopped short when I felt my fingers touch his clothes. "Tell me instantly what you feel." Slowly and softly, I pressed my outstretched palm against his lower back.

I felt him tense as a sickening scream left his lips. Startled, I pulled my hand back and placed it in his, squeezing in reassurance. "It's okay. Help is on the way!" I began talking. "We will get out of this, alive." I tried to encourage him. But deep down I knew, I needed the reassurance as much as he did.

"Alpha, taking building two now, hold fast!" I heard Ghost through the comms.

Hope bloomed in my chest, and I squeezed the soldiers' hand again before letting go. "Stay with me. Talk to me, or watch me move about, but do not let sleep tempt you." I spoke gently yet sternly.

"I'll give it my best." He rasped.

Another missile hit us, and the whole helo shook. Getting to my feet, I pulled one glove off of my hands whilst searching for a weapon. Finding an assault rifle, I quickly took it and pressed it against my chest with my gloved hand. Slowly making my way to each fallen soldier, I squatted and pressed my cold fingers against their necks. With each body I moved on from, my heart sank further and further.

"Alpha 0-2, Bravo 0-7. Building two secure. We're coming to you." Ghost announced.

"Copy that!"

Pulling my glove over my hand, I grit my teeth when I felt warm blood dripping down my fingers. Now was not the time. Positioning myself in front of the injured soldier, I got on one knee and aimed for the hatch.

"Blue! Blue!" I heard Ghost yell as he came into view, and I repositioned my weapon.

"Fuck it's good to see you. We've got six KIA and one wounded behind me." I spoke swiftly and Soap came into view. Ghost took position at the windows and assessed the damage, while Soap walked up to me.

"You alright?" He asked and I nodded in confirmation. He looked past me and saw the soldier on the ground.

"Let's move him." He began putting his weapon away, but I stopped him.

"No, moving would only harm him." I explained as I moved to the window and took a look outside myself. "They are here." I whispered as I saw movement outside the helo.

"Get your gun to the tree line." Ghost said as he pointed out the window.

Moving past him, I took the window closest to the hatch and prepared for the worst. Seconds ticked by and I didn't see any more movement. But suddenly, I saw someone. At first only one, but then, more and more seemed to walk out of the fog.

"If you have a shot, take it." The Lieutenant ordered.

"Fuck, how many are there?" I whispered to myself.

"Engage!" Ghost yelled over our heads.

"You called it, Lt.!" Soap shouted.

I leaned against the wall and aimed out of the window. Spotting an enemy, I didn't hesitate to put a bullet through his head. Price's words echoing firmly through my mind: "this mission is kill or be killed. Don't let it be the latter, you hear me?". Taking in our surroundings, I noticed several attackers approach us from the right side. Thinking quick, I pulled away and reposition myself. I was now aiming out of the open rear and providing cover from the side.

"We clear?" Soap asked as the bullet exchange seemed to stop.

"For now… Stay sharp on that tree line."

"Copy that." I said as I repositioned myself back to my previous position at the window. Glancing outside, I had trouble seeing far. The combination of fire, smoke and fog strained my eyes. Holding my breath, I felt as if I was hearing something heavy making its way towards us. Glancing at Ghost I caught his eyes, two black dots boring into my soul.

"I think I hear something." I said, holding the contact momentarily.

"7-6, call for fire. I want close air on that treeline." Ghost ordered into his comm; eyes focused back on the area before us. A response came quickly by one of the other team members.

"Dig in, lads. We're not done yet." The Lieutenant announced.

Then, the same Bravo member spoke through the comms, "0-7, CAS is three minutes out!"

"Roger that."

Suddenly smoke bombs went off in the tree line and I cursed quietly.

"Take cover!" Ghost commanded. "They're launching grenades."

I tried my best to shoot anyone that would do us harm when a grenade landed with a cluttering sound beside us. My eyes went wide, and time seemed to slow down. I watched in slow motion as the grenade stopped at the marines' feet. With terror-stricken eyes, he pleaded for his life, uttering "I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die! No, no, NO!". He couldn't move away, couldn't reach for the grenade himself to throw it back out and I was too far away to help him.

"Grenade!" I roared. Ghost was already running towards me, pulling the Sergeant away from the grenade that would soon go off. Turning, I ran towards the ramp, Ghost and Soap hot on my heels, and threw myself to the side. The blast blew pieces of metal and flesh over our heads. Dirt clung to my clothes and forehead, and I felt my arm scream in pain. Biting down on my tongue and squeezing my mouth shut, I muffled my cry. As I tried pulling myself off the ground, Ghost had already grabbed my vest and pulled me back into the helo. As much as I was done being in the broken-down aircraft, it was the safest place at the moment.

"Status, Corporal." He asked, eyes sharp on the surrounding area.

"I've got fucking glass in my right arm." I spoke through greeted teeth.

"Hold on tight, Ascii." Soap called.

The pain pulsed hotly under my skin, and I could feel my heartbeat where the injury was. Flexing my fingers, I pushed through the pain. We were in a warzone. Grabbing my secondary gun form my holster, I picked myself off the ground when I noticed the body parts around us. Glancing to the once breathing soldier, his body had been torn apart. Eyes scanning the rest, I felt bile rise up my throat when I found the mutilated body parts laying around. Turning away quickly, I pressed my hand against my mask, forcing the contents of my stomach to stay down.

Although I have seen my small share of injuries and misfortune, seeing a human torn into pieces, his limbs scattered, was a gruesome experience. Every time I blinked, I could see his pale face screaming at me, his eyes pleading to be saved. The burned skin, exposed bones, and raw flesh of the teammates beside us…

"Reiß dich zusammen." ("Pull yourself together.")I murmured to myself.

"7-2, I need you up here now."

"Ghost, we should fall back to the house." I heard Soap speak.

"Negative- We clear this position and push. If Hassan's still here, he's out ahead." If I was Hassan, I would have been long gone. The aircraft incident would have been the perfect cover to effectively fuck off.

"7-6, patch us through to air support."

"Rog. Stand by… 7 Actual, Kilo 1-0. Fire is one mile out."

"Kilo 0-1, you're cleared hot on anything forward of our position. Danger close approved."

"Roger that."

I triple checked any stick and stone for movements. The silence we all grew accustomed to, was pushing us to our limits. Peace in enemy territory was never an option. And until now-

All at once I picked up a dark metallic sound resonating from somewhere in the shadows. Shifting my eyes, I squinted as several lights came into view and blinded us.

"Lieutenant, we've got armoured vehicles incoming!" I signalled, trying to figure out the numbers.

"There's four of 'em." Someone called in from the side lines.

"Conserve your ammo. Let 'em get close. Standby to engage… Get ready…!" I felt my shoulders tense as I listened to Ghosts commands.

"Cut 'em down!"

Shots had been fired and hell got lose all over again.

"All bravo, Kilo 0-1 is inbound hot, danger close." The airs support pilot announced.

Hiding behind the wall, I heard the rockets hit the enemy lines. The sound was like music to my ears as the machine guns blazed through. My right arm was burning, and I let go of my weapon. "We clear?" I asked when the shooting died down.

"All clear." Ghost called.

More conversation was held through the comms and a helo was tasked for casualty evac.

Soap walked up to me and grabbed my arm, slowly pulling the bloodied sleeve up, he hissed as he saw the injury. "Bloody hell Ascii."

"You're telling me." I groaned.

"Where's the medical kit on this bloody wreck?" Soap yelled. Ghost was one step ahead and placed the container beside me.

"Patch yourself up. Rest- with me. We are going for Hassan." He announced via comms.

Soap looked conflicted, as his eyes moved from me to the Lieutenant. I wiped the sweat off my forehead and began removing my gloves. "Move your ass, Soap. If Hassan is still there, you have to get him. I'll be behind you in no time." Faltering in my movements, I contemplated if I should squeeze his hand in assurance or not. Deciding against it, I only nodded again. He gave me a last once over and joined Ghost.

I stood still as I listened in on them moving away. When no steps could be heard, I opened the medical kit and checked its content. I grabbed the tweezers and began removing one piece of glass after the other. I may not see everything as crystal clear as I should, but the fire roaring through the air to my left gave me enough light to clear most of the debris.

It took me longer than I would have hoped. Being right-handed and having to pull the splinters out with my left hand with trembling fingers was a whole new level of fucked up. Besides, anytime I would hear any noises coming from the outside, I would stop and listen. Were it the sound of gunfire coming from the direction my teammates went or just small little rustling just beside the open rear. I could never be one hundred percent sure that I was really alone here. Finally, when I did not see any more crystals reflecting the fire, I cleaned the area and wrapped it up. It was not the healthiest way of treating such an injury, but the safest and quickest for now. Enemies could pop out of nowhere at any given time.

I pulled my sleeve back down and put my gloves back on. Grabbing an assault rifle from the ground, I checked the ammo and began heading in the same direction Bravo team went. Pressing down on my comm, I spoke. "Bravo, what's your status?"

"We are slowly moving into the building." Soap answered me.

"Copy that. On my way."

I held the weapon in my arms and sprinted towards the third house. Running through high grass, I arrived at the building in question. It looked like bombs have gone off, walls crumbling and falling in on itself, debris laying around.

"Alpha 0-3, standing outside."

"Roger that." Ghost called.

Walking around the building, I heard a noise coming from the nearby warehouse and slowly made my way towards it. With my weapon held high, I tip toed my way to the building, careful not to make too much noise and staying alerted at all times. My eyes flickered between the greenery and equipment that littered the ground. Coming up to the building, I paused and listened again. Pulling my helmet slightly away from my ears, I could clearly hear shuffling behind the wall.

"All Bravo- we got movement out here." I whispered in my comm.

"On the way." The Lieutenant answered.

Thirty seconds later, I saw them quick walk towards me.

"What do we got?" He asked me directly for the first time.

"A warehouse. Roll up door is open. Heard something inside." I pointed in the direction.

"Copy. Let's clear it."

Ghost and Soap went in first, followed by two other soldiers. Crouching up behind them, I was barely able to enter when the door rolled down behind me and the lights flicked on. Cursing, I closed my eyes, before I went fully blind, and teared down my night vision. Blinking my eyes open, I hid behind a shelf. Ghost was taking cover behind a vehicle while Soap hid behind a second shelf.

Swiftly clearing out the small area, we double checked every corner.

"We clear?" Ghost called.

"All clear." Soap answered.

Coming out of my hiding spot, I held my weapon against me and walked towards the container that stood in the middle.

"What is that? This warehouse wasn't on any intel." I asked particularly no one.

Soap pulled the doors to the side and entered. "What the fuck is this?"

Right out of my mouth, sergeant. I walked in beside him and took a closer look.

"Those are controls for… For missiles." I deducted from the… "Why is it in all in English?"

Soap pulled a leaver, and a mechanical sound could be heard. Stepping back, the missile came into view on the top of the container.

"Steamin' Jesus." "Bloody hell!" Soap and I exclaimed simultaneously.

"Ballistic missiles…" Ghost mumbled.

"How the hell did Iran get their hands on this?!" Soap asked angrily, his voice roaring with a deep grumble through the quiet room. Moving around the container, he climbed up the side to check it out.

"7-6, get us through to Laswell." Ghost commanded to the man behind him and soon we all could hear Laswell in our feed.

"This is Watcher-1, send traffic." Laswell piped up.

"Laswell, this is Ghost, we got something."

"Tell me you found Hassan…"

I was already bellow Soap when he called for our attention.

"Ghost, Ascii, take a look at this…" He sidestepped, revealing an American flag imprinted on the missiles case.

"Ghost, do you have Hassan?" Laswell repeated her question.

"Negative. We found a weapons cache. Hassan's got missiles… they're American."

"0-7—This is Gold Eagle Actual, repeat your last…" Commander Shepherd cut in.

"I say again- Hassan has American missiles."

Silence.

Making my way around Ghost, I looked them both over. Ghost was waiting for an upcoming command and Soap was following me with his eyes. Vanishing back into the container, I looked over the controls. My heart began beating faster as I looked over all the screens. Excitement bubbled up as I imagined searching through all the data. It looked like a dream. I began calculating the time I would need to extract all the intel…

"Gold Eagle Actual to Ghost- Move your team and call for fire, I want those weapons destroyed."

"What?!" I yelled, shocked. I walked out and towards Ghost. "You can't be serious!" Pushing my own button, I chirped in. "Laswell, give me seventeen minutes. Maybe less, and I will have everyone who ever breathed on it."

"Negative. Ghost, you have orders." Shepherd commanded.

"Roger that, Actual." Ghost confirmed.

My hand slid from the comm device, falling limply to my side as I stared stunned into thin air. Anger and confusion poisoned my thoughts. Why wouldn't the commander allow me to extract important information? Destroying the missile will not rid us of the question of how AQ got their hands on it. And from who. So why? Why was I not allowed to data breach the lights out of this missile?! With every question, I felt my irritation growing. Closing my eyes momentarily, I straightened and put a mask of indifference on my face.

Ghost took off and I could feel his eyes boring into me. Turning on my heels I followed suit, Soap right behind me. I was walking behind the Lieutenant on autopilot. Following his orders without being fully present. I was still seething on the inside, angry and in disbelieve. I began questioning the commander, questioning the significance of this mission, the point in me even being here. I was a hacker, after all, my expertise was manipulating data to pull valuable information out of it.

I felt my emotions spiralling out of control.

Abruptly, the small device I always wore on my chest, began vibrating and I flinched. Taking my gloved hand, I pressed my thumb and index finger against it. Concentrating, I felt the small device pulse under my stiff fingers rhythmically. There were two kinds of vibrations: a strong and long one meant the number zero, a softer and shorter the number one. Simple binary coding really.

01000010 01101100 01110101 01100101

The message read Blue or Code Blue to be precise. Laswell wanted to know my status.

01010000 01101001 01101110 01101011

I punched code Pink into the small device and flicked it off.

I could still remember the awkward talk we had after Laswell figured out that I was tapping in binary code on the table while she was briefing me into an ongoing mission. I was not expecting anyone to know the binary code and decided to tap the word boring rhythmically on the desk. Ultimately being fed up, Laswell turned towards me and asked me why I was even present if I was being oh so bored as she called it. Initially I thought it was coincidence that she used the same word, but alas, she knew all along what I was tapping against the wooden surface.

Since then, we had built a whole colour chart, each colour representing a specific word or command. For example, colour Pink meant silence. In this case particularly it implied that I needed space. Space to calm down, think through the events and analyse the circumstances. Anytime we would be in need to communicate certain situations or we just wanted to know each other's wellbeing, we could use the small rectangular device and punch in the codes via two buttons. One button represented the number zero and the other number one. Brilliant engineering if you ask me.

"What was that?" Soap asked me, as we were walking to the rendezvous point.

"What was what?" I asked, confused.

He pointed at the small device above my chest, "that."

"Oh." My ears turned red. "It's a communication device… Between Laswell and I."

"How does it work?" He asked, interested.

"It uses a two-symbol system. Basically, every letter has its assigned combination of two symbols. If you put them in the right order, you can create whole sentences. I wouldn't recommend doing that, as it would be nearly impossible to memorise every combination. Instead, create a system with pre-set meanings." I explained thorough, aware that a certain Lieutenant was listening in on the conversation.

Soap took the information in like a champ.

Arriving at the extraction point, Ghost commanded everyone to move their asses on the helo. Seated inside, we took off as the Lieutenant initiated the blast. Glancing out the window, the sky lit up a brilliant red colour, as the missile detonated.

"What did Laswell send you?" The Sergeant asked me.

"Code Blue… She was asking for my status." I leaned towards him, hoping Ghost wouldn't hear me, as he was also seated beside me.

"And what did you answer?" Soap pressed on, knee bumping into mine.

"Code Pink. Silence." I sighed and leaned back. I tried shutting my eyes, but anytime I would attempt it, memories resurfaced. My fingers twitched and I interlaced them to keep them still. Concentrating on what I felt around me, I leaned slightly more towards Soap. His body radiated warmth, and right now, warmth was a blessing I will not say no to.

Comfortable, I looked over at Ghost, who sat still like a marble statue. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he died in his sleep. I was still waiting for him to snap at me. Yell that I questioned orders that should not have been questioned in the first place. I was dreading the moment it would happen, as I did not know what kind of a man Ghost was.

Despite reading his file and, to my own regret, trying to slither my way into the datacenter in an unethical way, there was nothing saved on him. I found traces of past files, files I am sure I could have reconstructed if I really put my mind to it, but I was not an animal. If a man wanted to be anonymous, you better respect that. There was always a solid reason for it. I should know it the best. A girl, that hides behind a mask, to keep the loved ones safe.

My eyes bore into the side of his head.

"What is the worst code?" Soap asked out of the blue.

I looked at him, eyebrows furrowing.

"I suppose it would be code Red… Dying."

He turned serious and pushed his shoulder slightly closer to mine.

"Good that it's not gonna happen!" He said, self-assured.

I admired his positivity, but death will one day come for all of us. It's inevitable.


Back at the nearby base, I took a detour to the infirmary where my injuries were taken care of. I ended up coming out pretty unharmed at least physically. Beside the several deeper cuts on my right forearm, I was adored in numerous bruises here and there and a couple of contusions. Not counting the muscle ache, that will hit me with a ton of bricks soon enough.

Doctors order was a hot shower and going easy for the next couple of days.

Stepping out of the makeshift hospital, I stopped and took a deep breath. The wind blew softly over my exposed forehead, and I relished in the feeling. My fingers urged to take off my hood, glide through my hair and feel the breeze swirl around my ruffled locks.

"Staring doesn't become of you, Lieutenant." I looked over my shoulder, eyes focused on the man in question.

He pushed himself off the wall and walked up to me.

"You were out of line today, Corporal." He remarked calmly.

The time has come.

I bit down on my lower lip. The anger I managed to stifle out before, came back full force. I knew he was right, I should not have intercepted, should not have opened my mouth… But did no one else find it strange? Why wouldn't Shepherd want to get the intel. If not for how AQ got their hands on it, at least for who it was meant for. Anything, literally anything would have been better than this!

"I felt it was appropriate."

"What you feel, is irrelevant. You are a soldier, nothing more." He was now towering over me whilst still giving me enough space.

"Why am I here Sir?" I could not stop my mouth from asking the question I had been asking myself since it happened.

Silence.

"If not for my skills, then why? You have read my files. I may have knowledge, but I lack the experience. Therefore, my skills are the reason." I took a quick breath and stepped closer. "Then why the fuck was I not allowed to use them? Why is no one asking the important questions. Why didn't Shepherd want to know where the missiles came from and where they were heading?" I was breathing heavily when I was done with my banter. Chest rising and falling rapidly, my head tilted slightly upwards to meet his gaze. Grasping the predicament, I was in, I took a healthy step back. While I knew I had not yelled at him, my voice had still been firm. Firm and calm. Just as calm as Ghost's first dialogue.

"Orders, are orders, Corporal." He bit out with such made up serenity, it made my skin crawl. I reconsidered my point of view on men; men who acted calmly in any given situation, are more dangerous than men who scream and shout.

"Sometimes, orders have to be questioned. Ghost. I could have done it even quicker than seventeen minutes if I would have just gotten the bloody chance!"

"Seventeen minutes are enough for enemies to reinforce and catch us by surprise." He raised his voice slightly, but enough for me to notice the difference.

In that moment, I was transported back to my childhood. When my older brother would tease me until I would screech at the top of my lungs for him to stop. How my mother would yell at me to shut it, berate me for falling for my brother's tricks. It was never my brothers' fault for teasing me, it was always mine for overreacting. It wasn't fair. Not fair, not fair, not fair.

"It won't happen again. Sir." I spoke devoid of any emotion. Standing still a second longer, I zoned out and after a second longer walked away. Distance, I needed distance. Tears burned my eyes. Stepping into the small shelter that had been set up for us, I grabbed my things and went straight back outside towards the shared showers. At that moment, it didn't bother me that the showers weren't explicitly separated between men and women. I was glad we even had the chance to shower in the first place. Entering the shared bathrooms, I picked out a small shower cabin and stepped inside. Closing the door behind me I quickly got rid of the clothes that clung to my body like a second skin.

Stepping into the shower, I removed my mask at last and threw it on the backpack that lay safely tucked in a corner where the water couldn't potentially reach it. Combing through my hair with my fingers, I put it up in a bun to keep it dry. Carefully turning on the water, I yelped when the cold water hit my skin. Shivering, I sidestepped and waited for the water to at least become lukewarm. When it did, I moved back under it.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and pushed my face under the warm water. Working quickly, I rubbed at my skin to get rid of the black colour. Pulling away, I braced myself against the wall and teared open my eyes. Biting down on my tongue, I began crying. Sliding down the side I sat on the ground as the sadness took hold of me.

I wept for the fallen soldiers, for the families that won't see their sons or husbands again. I cried for the soldier I had promised we would make it out alive. The soldier whose face was permanently engraved behind my eyes. I should have listened to Soap and moved him. Maybe he would be alive now, could greet another day. The pain he would have had to endure while we would have moved him, would have been nothing compared to the blood that was now stuck to my hands.

I cried silently until there were no tears left to cry. Pulling myself from the cold ground I rubbed at my skin until it was raw, but I did not stop there. Only when the water that swivelled down the drain was eventually clean, I stopped, dried myself up and moisturised my tired body. Pulling on a fresh set of pants and a shirt, I listened for any noises. Satisfied with the silence, I held my hand over my mouth and nose and stepped out of the cabin. Double checking the area, I walked towards the mirror and looked at myself. Tired grey eyes stared back at me; bare of the usual blue colour they normally radiated with. Checking out the dark circles under my eyes I slowly removed the hand that hid the rest.

Fully in view, I felt sick looking at my chipped lips and bruised jaw. The dead eyes I called my own, gave me the rest. Pinching my cheek to pull myself out of the trance, I pulled the small care package out of my bag. Normally, skin care was not on the priority list of a soldier, but being in the task force 1-4-1, gave me the opportunity to squeeze in some extra time for myself. Time, I desperately needed.

Looking up from the sink, my eyes bore into the door that led to the outside. Feeling naked, I decided to clasp my hood back on and at least cover my hair. If anyone should walk in here, they would only see my hood and eyes, as I would be fast enough to cover the rest with my bare hands.

Instantly feeling better as I felt the familiar weigh on my head, I had dived into my self-care routine. Hands working steadily and effectively I was just putting on a new layer of black colour when I heard steps outside. Stiffening, I just managed to cover my mouth and nose with my hand when Ghost stepped in.

Stepping on my toes to lean closer to the mirror, I looked downward, my hood sliding further over my head because of it. One hand was firm holding my mouth and nose while the other was dead in mid-air, hiding the right side of my face where I was previously putting on the face paint.

Watching Ghost with my left eye, I followed him through the room until he vanished into one of the shower stalls. Taking a shaky breath, I quickly finished the paint job, head hung low. Grabbing my mask from beside me, I put it on, four satisfying clicks echoing through the structure. Hurriedly placing my things back into the bag, I swung it over my shoulder and rushed out, not stopping until I was in our shared barracks.

Quietly stepping inside, I stood in the doorway when I saw Soaps sleeping form laying on one of the cots. Moving around him and past Ghosts bunk, I placed my bag down beside my own crib and sat on it. The loud squealing scared the living lights out of me, and I tensed. Peeking at Soap, he seemed to still be fast asleep. Relieved I bent over and pulled my sleeping balaclava out of a pocket.

As much as I disliked sleeping with anything over my face, I was sharing this tent with two other soldiers. A Sergeant and Lieutenant, nonetheless.

Getting up and turning my back towards Soap, I looked around myself to confirm the coast was clear. Pulling the mess of a hood off my head, followed by my mask, I slicked my hair back. Holding the familiar soft material of the balaclava between my fingers a moment longer, I sighed and pulled it over my head.

Not losing any more time, I slid under the cover and let exhaustion take me in with open arms.


Unbeknown to Ascii, the creaking of the bed had woken up the man that was previously asleep beside her. When his eyes finally attuned to the darkness and he spotted her sitting on her own bed, he was about to make himself known, when she had gotten up and turned her back towards him. Instead, he stayed silent, observing with interest as she pulled the hood effortlessly off her head, the mask following quickly after.

He was mesmerized at the scene before him. The moonlight weakly shining through the small window and casting her hair in a soft white light. How her fingers glided smoothly through the wavy strands. How she slicked the hair back and out of her face. He held his breath, as she stilled in her movements before looking around. His eyes turned wide when he saw the outline of her nose and exposed lips. He closed his eyes temporarily, guilt clouding his mind, he berated himself for not looking away sooner. He couldn't help himself; he was just a curious fella, even Ghost wasn't spared from the curiosity that radiated off of Soap, anytime he smelled an opportunity to get a hidden glimpse…

When he opened his eyes again, she was pulling a simple black balaclava over her head. Disappointment quickly turned into uneasiness when he realized she was turning towards him. Pressing his eyes shut with the speed of light, he prayed that she did not notice him being awake. Heartbeat hammering in his chest, he tried to listen closely. The silence that stretched endlessly was cut short when he heard the familiar creak, that had awoken him beforehand. Peeking shyly from behind his half-closed eyes, his gaze fell onto her small sleeping form, buried deep under the thin sheets. Staring at her, he didn't miss the small, tired sigh that left her lips and soon, her steady breathing filled his ears.

Minutes passed when another pair of steps could be heard coming closer. Turning towards the door, he watched Ghost step inside, lazily making his way to his own mat for the night. Soap's eyes trailed from his feet up to his face. He was clothed in simple dark pants and long-sleeved shirt, while his trademarked mask, had been replaced by a balaclava, similar to the one Ascii wore, with the difference that he had a white skull painted on it.

Soap was still ogling him when Ghost looked over at Ascii. His eyes stayed on her sleeping form a moment longer, before tearing his eyes away and catching Soap red handed.

"Go to sleep Sergeant." He grumbled not even concerned that Ascii could wake up from it.

Warmth shooting up his face, Soap grunted before turning away and pushing his face grumpily into the warm pillow bellow. Letting out a long steep breath, he relaxed his muscles and was lulled back into the dreamland in no time.


Comments are very welcome btw. Just because I have a couple of Chapters written out, doesn't mean I can't change things up or add 'em in. Your opinions matter :)

Update 20th of August 2023: Added about 1.7k words to the last Chapter, for anyone that might have missed it. Apologies for the inconvenience.