Matthew spent a few hours in the early morning mourning his lack of sleep in a foreign bed in a foreign country when a chaperone knocked on their door to wake them up.

"It's morning! Time for breakfast," Mathias announced cheerfully as he opened the door and flooded the room with warm light. Matthew rubbed his eyes and saw that his cabin mates were awake and were reluctantly getting out of bed while rubbing at their faces. It seemed Matthew wasn't the only one who didn't sleep well.

"See guys," Alfred chipperly said, somehow unsurprisingly bursting with energy as he jumped out of bed. "This's why I slept in my clothes. Now y'all gotta waste time getting changed."

"Right, saving time" Yao replied dryly as he got to the bathroom first with a bundle of clothes in his arms.

"I am going to save plenty of time cus I can swim in these too!" Alfred retorts as he skips out of the cabin and into blinding light. "I'll save y'all some seats!"

"Yao's gonna be in there a while," Toris sighed as he picked out his clothes. "How about we both turn around and get changed?"

Matthew agreed and pulled out his clothes for the day, choosing something that doubled as swimming gear so he wouldn't have to change later. When both he and Toris were ready they made their way down to the dining hall. Matthew did ask if they should wait for Yao, but Toris insisted he'd be a while. Matthew let it go when they passed Im Yong going towards their cabin and figured Yao would be fine.

The dining hall was half-packed already but it was easy to find Alfred waving from the same table as the night before. Now that the setting was much more comfortable and not socially demanding, Matthew leaned back and looked around the hall. There were photos and memorabilia everywhere that he didn't take note of last night. From the looks of the photos, most of the chaperones stayed consistent over the years. No wonder they knew all the campers by name and were super friendly with them. Even when he was younger, Alfred still looked so alike.
Alfred was in a lot of photos with his younger gaggle of friends, grabbing onto each other and smiling wildly as they played around. Matthew thought it was very sweet, even if he was a little jealous of how they could just thoughtlessly have fun together.

Alfred's friends start sliding onto the table, most of them giving a greeting as they did. Matthew was shocked they all remembered his name and gave a polite greeting back. He supposed it was easier for them to remember one name as opposed to him meeting everyone now.

"Morning Alfred and better Alfred," Carlos yawned as he joined.

"Aw come on Car-loser," Alfred wrapped an arm around Matthew, "don't bring Mattie into our epic rivalry. What did he do to you?"

Carlos 'pfft'ed but didn't retort.

Matthew flinched when a hand suddenly came down on his shoulder, he turned to see Augustus giving the group a big cheery smile.

"Good morning campers! How are we all doing?" The cheery man addressed the group before taking his hand off Matthew. "Sorry about that my boy, I didn't mean to startle you."

"I uh-it's fine." Matthew spoke up and gave him a small smile back.

"Say, I haven't seen you around before, what's your name?"

"Matthew," he replied. Augustus had a friendly face that reassured him he had the best intentions and put him at ease.

"Nice to meet you, Matthew. I know I sound all big and important because I run the camp, but don't be intimidated by me, you hear? I'm just a kid acting like an adult and I want to have fun just like all of you!"

Matthew nodded while the group brought up stories of Augustus doing silly things with them. Like having a bike race that ended up with all participants being launched off the dock and into the lake. When Elizabeta came over to say good morning she confirmed the crazy stories before scolding them for it happening in the first place with a fond smile on her face. Matthew smiled at the recount, even if he wasn't there, the chaotic energy still lingered.

A couple other counsellors came by to greet the group as breakfast was being prepared and Matthew was starting to remember their faces. When breakfast was served he had some eggs on toast with bacon and enjoyed being a little more than a spectator on a conversation between friends. Alfred would rope him in and ask for his opinion on things and Matthew appreciated that he was being included and given a window to join in. It seemed at every opportunity Alfred was trying to push him into the group and even going so far as to give context to whatever previous camp experience was referenced. It felt like he was actually being welcomed into the group and little by little, was getting to know everyone.

When breakfast finished most of the campers went back to their cabins while a few others went to the docks. Matthew was heading to the dock when something bumped into him.

"Hey Mattie!" Alfred shrugged off his thick signature jacket and tied it around his waist. "You swimming in that?"

"Yeah. I thought it would be better than everyone changing at once."

"Cool! I see you've come prepared, but you still have much to learn about camping!"

Steve was waiting for them at the docks, looking like the perfect lifeguard. Red shorts, lines of sunscreen on his face, goggles on his forehead, life preserver on his shoulder and whistle around his neck.

"Whaddaya think? Do I look like a Bondi Beach lifeguard or nah?"

"Hell yeah," Alfred encouraged. "We're gonna be so safe in that sharkless-infested water."

"Damn right. I'm so glad it's warm again. Now I have a chance to work on my thong tan!"

Matthew balked. What?!

Alfred broke out into stifled giggles and Steve had an amused look on his face... this was some kinda joke, wasn't it?

"Don't worry," Alfred's laughing broke up his sentence, "he does this every year. Thongs is Aussie for flip flops, or jandals if you're Zach."

"Now Alfred," Steve fixed him with a stare, "no getting in the water until the swim test or until you've passed, got it?"

The way he said it make Matthew wonder what Alfred had done in the past.

"Yeah yeah, I promise. But what if I just sit on the edge and dip my lil toes in?"

Steve paused and eyed him seriously. "Yeah, fine. But that's it."

Alfred pumped his fist and lead Matthew further down the dock and pulled him down to sit beside him.

"This way we can get used to the water before we have to jump right in and die of shock," Alfred laughed as he cupped water and splashed it on his face. Thinking that was a smart idea, Matthew dipped his hands into the cool water. It was refreshing but nothing he couldn't tolerate. No matter how cold, his Canadian heart was colder. They sat there idly kicking the water as Alfred described the swimming tests. Nothing Matthew was worried about, his Papa had made sure he knew how to swim since he was a child. It seemed Alfred wasn't worried about his performance either, elbowing a flustered Matthew as he complimented his 'epic sporty skillz'.

It didn't feel like they were sitting for long before their age group was called and they were lined up. Steve had the whistle in his mouth while Heracles stood by him with a noteboard in hand looking very much like he would rather still be in bed. Steve blew the whistle.

"Now before Alfred says it I want to remind you that this isn't a race, just gotta test your skills and stuff alright?"

"Ignore him, this is totally a race. Come on, Vash? Feliks? Carlos?"

"You're on!" Cheered Feliks.

"It's not a race," Vash grumbled.

"You'll claim it never was when I beat you," Carlos glared at Alfred. Matthew assumed it was friendly-natured despite the heat, and that was how Alfred took it too.

First, they had to swim 100 meters then tread water for 2 minutes, and lastly go through some rescue exercises. Whenever Matthew had swum before, it was either the ocean or a pool. Swimming in fresh-water, strangely enough, felt slightly harder. But not hard enough that he couldn't pass. The rescue exercises were entertaining when Steve knowingly paired up Alfred and Carlos. The pair did everything short of trying to drown each other.

Matthew was paired with Emil, relieved he remembered the other boy's name. Emil was happy to swiftly complete the exercises and Matthew noted that he didn't feel anxious whatsoever around him. Emil's reserved nature wasn't something Matthew expected to find at a summer camp, but he was glad that he wasn't the only one here that was not what expected and a form of solidarity.

It wasn't long until the drills were over and they were flopping onto the hard deck like exhausted fish. Heracles was marking some things off of the clipboard as Steve blew the whistle, the sharp sound causing Matthew's ears to ring.

"Yeah, you all passed. You guys are special and can go swimming anytime, as long as you're being supervised by an adult alright? If there's no one at this station, you get someone. Now that's it! Go enjoy the rest of your stay!"

"Finally!" Alfred cheered and turned to the group. "Hey guys! So what are we all doin'?"

Immediately, Matthew felt the energy shift as tension formed.

"I promised Peter and Charlotte I'd hang out with them today." Zach shrugged. "You could join, you know they love you."

"Yeah, I love 'em too. But I wanna do some big boy stuff now that we're all free. Tell them I said hi and I'll definitely hang with them another day!"

"Suit yourself," Zach said as he left.

"I always do!" Alfred smirked and shot finger guns at him before addressing everyone else. "So what are we doing guys?"

Matthew could see everyone standing around awkwardly, not quite making eye contact with Alfred or matching his energy. With everyone so strange and quiet, Matthew went rigid and tried not to draw attention as he watched the situation unfold.

"Yao and I were just gonna hang out with our family," Im sounded apologetic as he edged away. "We'll see you around."

"Lilli," was Vash's cryptic explanation as he walked off. Matthew wondered what that meant.

"Really?" Alfred scoffed, his enthusiasm waning.

"I promised Lukas I'd give him and hand today." Emil hesitated. "Sorry. We can do something together another day."

"Yeah, like, we're really sorry, but we already had some stuff planned." Feliks gestured to himself, Toris, Ravis and Eduard.

"Feliks just wants to gossip in arts and crafts," Toris explained, sounding like he was being held against his will.

"But don't worry, we're totally gonna break into your cabin sometime!" Feliks added.

Lovino huffed. "Don't let Nonno hear about that. If he had half a brain he'd nail the cabins shut at night."

"But that would be a fire hazard." Toris pointed out as Feliks dragged them off.

"So where are you guys going?" Alfred turned to the Italian twins, sounding resigned.

"We're gonna do some cooking!" Feliciano cheered enthusiastically.

"Hopefully there aren't too many kids there," Lovino scoffed. "They're distracting and I don't want to see how their grubby snot-nosed faces manage to ruin a perfectly good recipe."

"But Lovi! We could teach them!" Feliciano whined.

"That's right Lovi!" Alfred smirked. "You could teach them the ways of cook-a-da-pasta!"

Lovino turned bright red as he broke into aggressively fast-paced Italian. Even Matthew shrunk back and it wasn't being directed at him.

"You could join us Alfred!" Feliciano beamed, not at all put off by Lovino. "It'd be fun!"

Matthew was looking forward to trying cooking, comparing it to his Papa's recipes and telling him about it. Maybe cooking with other passionate people would be a great way to make friends!

"Idiota, the kitchen is small and the class is full. There's no room for extras."

"Really?" Alfred whined.

"You'd butcher the recipe anyway," Lovino was still fuming as he dragged his protesting brother off.

"Forget cooking, I bet you're real bummed you can't eat whatever they make." Carlos chuckled.

"Y'know? I don't care what you're doing today. Go have fun, or don't." Alfred retorted.

"I know you're used to everyone being grouped together," Carlos crossed his arms. "But now that we're free to do what we want, I'm not hanging around you anymore."

"Y'know, I can live with that." Alfred sneered.

"Yeah, but can you live with everyone doing their own thing without you, little miss social butterfly?"

"It's just for one day," Alfred scoffed. "Come on Mattie, let's leave this loser to hang out by himself."

Matthew let himself be dragged further up the dock, unsure if Alfred's over-the-top antagonising was genuine or not. But he could tell that his new friend was frustrated about something.

"Are you okay?" He knew he sounded a little unsure, but if he could just get Alfred talking...

"Yeah, no, I don't know!" Alfred groaned. "It's just every year we all had to stay in one big group and we had so much fun and now that we don't have to everyone's just breaking apart! I mean, I guess it's fine. I guess it's okay if everyone splits up to check stuff out but I just guess I kinda hoped that everything would stay the same y'know?"

Mattie gave him a nod. He did understand everyone wanting to go their own way, but he also understood Alfred wanting everyone to stick around. It must be hard for him, considering these were his friends and he's known them for years. Alfred sighed as he sat at the end of the dock and patted for Matthew to sit next to him.

"I'm not so stupid to optimistically say 'oh, maybe it's just today then tomorrow we'll all do the same thing at the same time and that will happen every single day'. I remember when I was younger I saw all the older kids all over the place and they were all split up. I knew it was gonna happen, but I guess I just thought that when our time came it would be different. I guess I've just been in denial. Which is the first stage of grief so I just gotta speedrun the others so I can get over it and actually enjoy camp." Alfred smirked and tapped the side of his forehead like it was a brilliant idea. "Uhhh, what's the next? Denial then anger then bargaining then depression then acceptance? Does that sound right to you?"

"Yeah, I think that's it..." Matthew felt like he had whiplash from how fast the conversation evolved.

"Great! Thanks for listening to my rant Mattie! I feel a bit better."

"That's okay. I'm glad I could help?"

"So, are you gonna stick around me? Cus I know that you're new and all but you don't have to stick with just me. You could always just go do what you want y'know?"

Yeah, Matthew did know. But he also knew that if he just went and did what he wanted by himself... just walking in and doing it, uninvited with everyone's eyes on him... he didn't have that sort of courage just yet. He couldn't let anyone know there was something wrong with him. But Alfred was his friend now, so sticking with him meant becoming better friends. Selfishly, Matthew was glad it was just him and Alfred. He was much better at one on one socialising.

"No, it's fine. I'll stick with you if that's alright."

"That's more than alright," Alfred shot finger guns at him. "I'll show you everything there is to know about these here parts. Stick with me and I guarantee you you'll have your best summer yet and we'll be best bros in no time!"

"Okay," Matthew smiled. "So what are we gonna do?"

"Whatever our hearts desire!" Alfred proclaimed. "How about some swimming? Steve's on lifeguard duty so we're all okay for a swim."

Not even a second after giving confirmation, a wall of water hit him when Alfred launched himself into the water with no hesitation. Not wanting to be left behind, Matthew jumped in right after.

Alfred's energy could make any boring task seem fun. He challenged Matthew to a race and was super dramatic when he lost. Somehow Matthew got the impression Alfred's drama was all for Matthew's benefit as he chuckled and Alfred beamed from the response. It seemed Alfred was one of those attention clowns that just wanted everyone to have a good time.

Then they pinched some inflatable doughnuts, ones Alfred commented on wanting to eat as they were designed to resemble a sprinkled chocolate doughnut, and floated around while squinting as the dazzling water refracted into their eyes. They were brainstorming how to speedrun the 5 stages of grief before Alfred got angsty and took it out on someone else.

"So if anger's next I just gotta get angry," Alfred concluded. "Maybe like the Hulk?"

"The anger has to be related to what you're grieving." Matthew pointed out as he lounged on the inflatable and swished his hands in the cool water, the liquid rejuvenated his dried-out skin.

"How dare they leave!" Alfred growled and slapped his fist into the water before giggling. "I can't take this seriously."

"You probably can't force things like grief. Maybe when it comes naturally, as long as you recognise it you can just step away and go be angry somewhere else?"

"Yeah I guess but I wanna be angry nowwww. Maybe we can work out bargaining? Do the stages have to play out in order?"

"I think so. They're called 'stages'."

"Yeah, that makes sense." The inflatable made squeaky sounds as Alfred adjusted himself, then froze. "I just realised we didn't put on any sunscreen."

Shit. Suddenly Matthew's skin was crawling with regret.

"Language Mattie!" Alfred giggled.

Oops, he said that out loud. But he meant it.

"Merde," Matthew corrected.

"Yeah I feel the same. Usually I'm better than this... or maybe we just don't have someone nagging us about sunscreen cus we're old now. Come on, let's go put some on."

By the time they paddled back and stumbled onto the stable dock, their skin was completely dry and leathery. The cool lotion felt great even if it was probably too late for an inevitable sunburn.

"Good onya for being responsible," Steve commented when he saw them slathering it on.

"Yep, that's us, responsible!" Alfred chuckled as he streaked lines on his face.

"Doya know how to sound anything other than suspicious mate?" Steve lifted his sunnies judgmentally.

"Noooooooooooo."

"Riiiiiiiiight. Anyways, perfect timing. You can't get back in the water while that dries but it is lunchtime so-"

"Really? Yeah I totally planned that."

"I'm suuuuuure you did." Steve said, suspiciously unbelieving. "Get going then, I don't wanna get between you and food. Not after what happened last year."

"Aye aye captain." Alfred gave a salute and grabbed Matthew's slippery wrist. "Come on Mattie!"

"What happened last year?" Matthew asked.

"Uh, I bit his arm. Had a bit of a chew. Tasted like hair, wouldn't recommend."

What? That just left Matthew with more questions than before. When they approached the hall Alfred's attention was caught by a large group of his friends sitting on the grass.

"Maybe, hope is not all lost!" Alfred pretended to wipe a tear. "Maybe, despite life pulling us in different directions, three times a day we can all sit down and share a meal together, just like the good old times. Wait... is this bargaining?"

"I don't know. I think it's reasonable since everyone's gotta eat and people usually sit with who they know..." Matthew trailed off as an uneasy feeling started to stir.

"Yeah, hopefully we can all catch up each day when we eat. It'll make me miss them less... or maybe more, I don't know. Anyways, I'm hungry!"

Matthew grabbed his food quickly and anxiously waited for Alfred so he wouldn't have to walk over by himself. Matthew was overcome with reservation as all the eyes turned towards them. Luckily Alfred thrived in the spotlight so Matthew could quietly sit in the shade (a futile attempt to prevent further sunburn) and let the talkative Alfred enjoy himself. But he knew concern for his skin wasn't entirely the reason. Despite how well he'd been doing since arriving at the camp, to his frustration, it was now time for the inevitable spiral.

When he was younger he envied the position Alfred had, but as he grew older he realised what an effort it would be for him. It came naturally to some, but not him. It took him a long time to be content with that. Though he wasn't sure if content was the right word... maybe complacent. He wasn't very happy with the way he was stuck. Detained in his own body and mind. But as he faded into the background, he didn't know if he felt content or resentful, at others or himself. Why couldn't he function like everyone else? He could've been like Alfred if he just wasn't Matthew. He sighed, the day had started out so great and now for no reason at all his brain was swinging it the other way.

His body was on autopilot as he ate but his mind was elsewhere. Somedays, following along with a conversation that he wasn't a part of was easy. Other days it took effort and his heart was so dry he couldn't find amusement in it. He plucked blades of grass and rolled them between his fingers as everything else faded to white noise.

Fingers snapping in front of his face is what it took to get him to zone back in. Matthew blinked to see everyone gone and Alfred standing right in front of him.

"Damn Mattie, you alright? I called your name a whole bunch of times and I thought you were just ignoring me cus I was calling you Mattie or something."

"Oh, no, I was just..." Matthew's voice sounded weak even to him as he trailed off unsurely.

"Are you sure you're alright? Shit, maybe you have heatstroke or something!"

Alfred yanked Matthew's plate from his and shoved him into a sitting position against the tree.

"I'll be right back Mattie!"

Matthew felt guilty as Alfred ran off. His ruminating probably put everyone off him! Now they probably all thought he was antisocial and weird. He curled up and dropped his face to his knees as he remembered how much out of his element he was. What was someone like him doing here? He fought to keep his breathing steady as his nails dug into his arms. Now was not the time to act out. If he started panicking now, then Alfred (or someone else!) would notice the panicking and make him panic more because he couldn't stop and-

Alfred was back before he knew it and slapped a wet towel around his neck as he shoved a cold cup into his hand.

"Drink up! It was totally on me for being so underprepared. I'm supposed to be the expert camper and I forgot about 'slip slop slap slip and slide.' I don't remember if that's right but Steve drilled it into our heads... at some point."

Matthew thanked him for the water and obligatorily sipped on it and Alfred leaned against the tree beside him and stared intently at him.

"So uh, no offence, but what's wrong with you?"

It was a confronting and blunt question. He took in a shaky breath. He needed to lie. Right now.

Alfred must've realised he was really insensitive because suddenly he was rambling.

"Uh I'm just asking cus you're acting weird and I thought you were just reserved or something but I have reserved introverted friends and obviously there's nothing wrong with that but you're acting weird so uh, do you need help or something? I can get a counsellor or not, if you'd rather not but um, you look like you're about to cry or something so maybe talking about it will make you feel better? I won't tell anyone anything, I promise. I'll take it to the grave!"

Matthew clutched at the cup as he weighed his options. He could lie, say he was homesick or something... or... Could he risk being honest? Alfred seemed like a real friend and something he couldn't name just made him feel like he could trust him. Alfred trusted him earlier with his friendship problems... So clearly he could do the same.

"I'm uh, just overwhelmed because sometimes I just get paralysed around big groups. Or even just a few people if it's really bad. I'm not formally diagnosed or anything but um, at this point it's kinda unnecessary because Papa thinks it's obvious. I hope it isn't too obvious..." Matthew realised he was rambling and forced himself back on subject. He stared down at the rippling water in the cup, unable to make eye contact. "What I'm trying to say is I've got a little bit of social anxiety. I'm sorry."

Great, what did he tell Alfred for? Now he'll see right through him and know just how badly he can't function. Or worse, he'll become a charity case and Alfred will try to 'help' by forcing him completely out of his comfort zone until Matthew couldn't breathe and-

"Ohhhhhh. Shit. Don't apologise. I'm a shitty friend for not noticing there was something wrong with you at lunch. You were just sitting off to the side so I thought you wanted to be left alone so I told the others not to bother you. I uh, hope that helped?"

Matthew was mortified that Alfred aired such a weakness to everyone but also glad there wasn't any malicious intention from anyone involved, both Alfred and the group just doing what he said.

"Um, kind of. I probably didn't have the energy to act normal in front of everyone so they would've figured something was wrong if you didn't."

"Huh. So did you wanna not be around us when we're in a big group? Cus I have noticed you get a lot quieter. Is that you having anxiety? You could probably go sit with a counsellor or something?"

"Uh well, if I get quiet then it's probably because I feel like I can't say anything. I don't know how to put it... I don't have general anxiety, I only feel nervous when it comes to social situations that I don't how they will play out. Or how to act in them and what's expected of me and what everyone else is thinking and I don't know the context and um, it's like a game but I don't know the rules or how to play it. I'm not very good at putting it into words but uh, since this whole camp is new to me I don't know how to fit in yet so... I'll probably feel better once I know everyone a bit better and how I'm supposed to act around them but until then. I don't know."

Matthew was sweating from revealing so much personal and damning information. But because he started he found he couldn't stop until he clarified every aspect possible and made Alfred understand. Which frustrated him because suddenly he was unable to communicate eloquently and was now floundering. No doubt he'll find a better way to put all this as he showered hours later.

"I think I kinda get it," Alfred said, a serious look on his face as he rubbed his chin and thought. "I mean, obviously I don't get it get it because I don't have social anxiety, thankfully because damn that sounds exhausting, having to constantly worry about everything. But uh, I mean I understand? My dad has some problems too so sometimes I have a front-row seat- But hey, it's pretty cool of you that you came to camp at all! You said it's your first time and it looks like you're just a little bit shy, y'know the normal amount, so that means it looks like you're handling it well- wait, you want to be here, right?"

Matthew blinked, mostly surprised at how well Alfred was taking this.

"It was mostly my Papa's idea. I just went along with it... but yeah. I want to have fun like a normal teen but... I-" The water sloshed in the cup as Matthew balled his hands in frustration. but I just can't.

"I have a solution!" Alfred elbowed him. "So your problem is you don't know how the social shit is supposed to go down? I will help you with those uncharted waters because I am an expert in socialising! And then when you see what I do, you just do what I do!"

Matthew was feeling better about this unplanned oversharing session. That was a great idea! Alfred could show him the social template and navigate the social situations for him! It won't make him look bad due to Alfred's loud nature because people will just assume that Alfred is being loud instead of Matthew being strangely quiet. It felt good to have a plan going forward, even if he thought it resembled a parasitic relationship. But that was just his pessimistic mind. Alfred offered and Matthew felt he just sincerely wanted to help.

"Also, you have to understand God nerfed you for a reason." Alfred continued. "Maybe you would be too powerful if you could just do what you want when you want without being 'paralysed'. So together with our combined awesomeness, we could rule the world! No, we gotta be more realistic. We'll rule this camp! Okay, I'm kidding but y'know. Just let me know if you're feeling kinda shitty and I'll be a good friend and try to stop you from feeling shitty!"

That... was a really nice offer. Matthew couldn't help but smile at the thought of not only having a friend, but one that was looking out for him too. It wasn't something he imagined happening before camp. He quietly thanked Alfred, suddenly shy and embarrassed at how it seemed he made a bit deal out of nothing as his confidence and optimism crept back. After a moment Alfred was jumping up and pulling Matthew with him.

"Now, I picked what we did earlier. Now it's your turn to choose Mattie!"