Welcome to the third chapter of Servant of the Pokémon! I'm pleased to deliver it to you all, just because it was a fun one to write. I'm back on a roll!
There isn't much else to say. Feedback is greatly appreciated, and I hope this chapter gives you all some laughs. Enjoy!
"What have I done?" Ash wondered aloud. By then, of course, it was too late. Not only did Serena not reply, but she sat stock-still for several seconds.
"Well? What have I done?" the man continued. "Please explain how I caused this. How did I bring this all upon us?"
"I don't know!" Serena all but shrieked. "Just open the goddamn door!"
"But it might be the media!" Ash yelled. "In fact, I'm almost sure it is!"
"They're going to bust down this door anyway, Ash! You might as well save us some money in damages and open it!"
Well, I guess it's hard to argue with that. I might as well make sure that the door isn't broken, and the only way to do that is to face the flood.
Ash slowly stood up from the couch, gingerly stepping closer to the portal out of their apartment. He moved like a hunched-over old man with a bad back, as though each step pained him. (In a way, it did, because every step was one step closer to facing the day.)
He reached out his arm and twisted the knob. Even with the dreadful anticipation of the event, he wasn't prepared for the veritable crowd of reporters that stormed through the door.
Ash gasped. There were so many flashing cameras, so many microphones being activated, that he could barely process it all. It was almost as though they were sucking all the oxygen out of the room, making it increasingly difficult to breathe. Ash found himself hyperventilating within seconds.
"Who are you guys?" Ash exclaimed in an exasperated manner. "I'm just trying to enjoy my morning with Serena, I just got up!"
Judging by the dark circles that no doubt ringed his eyes, it was probably obvious that this wasn't true. But he had to keep up the charade as long as possible, even if it only delayed the inevitable.
"All the networks, sir," one of the reporters, a tall man with a thick brown beard, muttered.
"Oh, my goodness," Ash replied, raising his arms in the air and opening his mouth wider than a patient at the dentist's office. "All the networks!"
Pikachu returned from the bathroom, the acrid stench of vomit on his breath. The electric mouse weakly glanced up at the reporters, then flinched and began to dry-heave.
"Do you know why we're here, Ash?" a darker-skinned woman enquired rapidly. "Do you know what's happened in just the last few hours?"
Of course I know what happened. But I have to lie, even if it only spares me for a few more minutes. I just don't want to go through all of this hell.
"No," Ash responded. "I don't."
The bearded man raised an eyebrow. "Pardon me?"
"I mean," the former champion muttered through gritted teeth, "that I don't know why all of you came here at half-past five in the morning. I really don't. So if you all could leave me alone, that would be far preferable."
Serena shook her head. "I'll call bullshit on that."
Ash swiveled around to face his girlfriend, narrowing his eyes into an intense glare. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," Serena responded, "that you're clearly lying. Guys, Ash Ketchum knows who he is. He knows why he's being accosted by hordes of reporters. And he's going to talk to you guys."
"If you really love me," Ash told his partner, "then you won't do that to me. Please?"
"Oh, we have a spicy domestic dispute!" a blonde woman from slightly further back in the crowd exclaimed gleefully. "This is a media content gold mine! Ash Ketchum and Serena Courtland, a relationship on the rocks!"
"Shut up!" Ash bellowed at the blonde reporter. "Why would you cover our personal lives like that?"
"Nothing is off-limits in today's world as far as journalism goes," the bearded man told Ash, now with a far more serious expression. "Absolutely nothing, whether you like it or not. But as journalists, our most important task is to keep the public informed, so if you'll come with us and answer some questions, that would be wonderful."
"Come on, guys. I just got up" Ash all but whined. "Can't this wait until later in the day?"
The dark-skinned woman frowned. "These days, Mr. Ketchum, we've got a 24-hour news cycle. When something happens, people expect to know the truth immediately - ".
" - and sometimes we can't," Ash snapped. "So why can't this be one of those times?"
"What I mean is," the dark-skinned woman said sharply, "they'll be clamoring for information. They want to know how Ash Ketchum reacted to the news."
"What news?"
"Just go with them, Ash!" Serena shouted sharply. "I'm not going to speak to you any more until you get back from the interview! You've talked to the media before, so why not now?"
Ash sighed. Serena did in fact have a point, he acknowledged in between flashes from dozens of cameras. After his quest long ago, he'd given many interviews and spoken to all sorts of media outlets, not to mention several banquets with the finest cuisine in Kanto.
This is different, he wanted to say. But any argument that this was a special case fell apart at the seams before long.
"Fine," he sighed. "I'll fucking come with you guys, and I'll answer your fucking questions. And then you'd better fucking let me go home, and never fucking bother me again."
The blonde reporter grimaced at Ash's gratuitous profanity, but then gave him a sad smile, as though she knew something he didn't want to admit; namely, that his stated wish could never be granted.
"We'll see what we can do about that," the bearded man told Ash. "I can't promise that we'll leave you alone after today - it all depends."
Ash frowned. "It's not that complicated a task, I should think. Either you'll leave me alone or you won't - there's no trying to honor this request."
"I'm afraid it's not that simple," the bearded man said.
"Trust me, it is."
The dark-skinned woman grimaced. "I think it's best if we head out now, Mr. Ketchum. Ms. Courtland, you'll wait here for your boyfriend to come back - ".
Serena nodded. "I will, although…".
Before Serena could even finish that thought, the bearded man held a finger over his mouth, the universal gesture for Be quiet. After that, Ash saw no option but to follow the reporters out the door; they would stop at nothing to hear Ash's side of the story, so he might as well give away as little as possible.
In the elevator, Ash decided to try lightening the mood. Small talk solved almost everything, didn't it?
"What news network are you guys with?" he asked, hoping his voice didn't break too noticeably. (Ash was in the elevator with the bearded man, the dark-skinned woman, and the blonde woman, all of whom were now grinning from ear to ear.
"We're all with Vulpix News!" the blonde lady all but exclaimed, beaming the whole time. "We're going to take you over to the courthouse, and we'll explain what's happening there!"
Mrs. Moreno, the apartment complex's receptionist, was at her desk now, and she averted her eyes as Ash and company shuffled past her. She didn't acknowledge the reporters at all otherwise, which gave Ash ample time to wonder if, yet again, he was being kept in the dark.
The next red flag was the sheer number of cars that were parked in front of the apartment building. Now, Ash had been expecting there to be several news vans at least, for obvious reasons. Maybe there would be a few other cars, mostly people who worked at the complex. (The parking garage was for residents only, but again, who would want to drive in Saffron City?)
But there were at least a dozen limousines in the driveway. Not only that, but there were a roughly equal number of news vans. Clearly, the networks were determined to make this interview a spectacle in the most obnoxious manner possible.
"Why are there so many limos surrounding the news vans?" Ash wondered aloud, not caring that he'd no doubt betrayed much annoyance with this.
"We can't tell you that yet," the bearded man responded crisply. "I promise you, it'll all become clear in time."
"But I want to know now!" Ash exclaimed in what was probably a hung-over imitation of a child throwing a temper tantrum.
"Just get in the van, please," the dark-skinned woman muttered. "We could handcuff you if we wanted to, but I don't think you want that."
"No, I wouldn't want that, you're right" Ash mumbled. The thought of being hoisted into the van so unceremoniously, and yet in front of so many onlookers, was absolute torture.
"Then get in the van."
Ash reluctantly did as he was told, climbing into the news van and buckling his seat belt. Then, the van began moving slowly through the early morning traffic of Saffron City.
During the ride, in between the occasional lurch as the news van stopped to accommodate another vehicle, Ash had ample time to wonder exactly why he was being taken to the courthouse. Didn't Vulpix News have its own HQ?
At one point during the long ride, the blonde woman (who'd taken the passenger seat) must have accidentally flipped a switch, because the radio began blaring.
" - President Andreas Fiddlesticks has announced that he will step down amid numerous revelations about his personal life. In a statement posted to PokéTube yesterday afternoon, the President told Kanto that his affairs were 'very unbecoming of Kanto's leader', but that wasn't enough to satisfy his critics."
Oh yeah, Ash recalled. I've heard that story before.
He might have been off the wagon, anesthetized to the constant news cycle of the real world, but it would have been very difficult to tune out entirely the news of President Fiddlesticks' innumerable scandals. Not only had the old buffoon carried on no fewer than four affairs during his presidency, but he was also rumored to be embezzling millions of Poké to a company owned by his son. (The President had yet to confirm or deny the veracity of these rumors.)
Ash had a sinking feeling - his chest might well have gotten crushed. Could this news really mean...no, he couldn't go there yet.
All of this happened very quickly, because the bearded man (who was operating the vehicle) gasped and switched off the radio at the next red light. "What did I say about not letting him know yet, Rachel?"
The blonde woman, whose name was evidently Rachel, frowned. "Look at me, Christian. I'm sorry."
"I can't look at your face when I'm driving!"
"Well, we're in bumper-to-bumper traffic right now!" Rachel objected. "You've got time!"
Christian shook his head.
Eventually, the van arrived at the courthouse, a giant steel dome that was one of the best-maintained buildings in Saffron City. (Which was saying something, given that the concrete jungle had to maintain the appearance of modernity.) Anyway, the courthouse was, predictably, swarmed with reporters.
The flashing cameras were more than enough to make Ash's eyes hurt, but he was determined not to show any weakness. This was easier said than done.
"Just walk on in," Christian instructed Ash. "Once you're in the Mayor's office, we'll explain more."
The Mayor's office contained blue carpet on both the floor and walls. The Mayor, a tall man named Jeremy Almaty, was not present - it was probably too early in the morning for him to be at work. It was never too early in the day, of course, for the media.
"Sit down," Christian commanded Ash, and the latter man did so. The bearded news anchor sat on the opposite side of the desk from Ash.
"What's going on?" Ash asked frantically. "Why do you have me here?"
"That's for me to know and you to find out" Christian muttered. "Let me just say that you're not going back to your apartment today."
"Wait, what?" Ash bellowed.
Of course, he'd traveled a lot in his youth, but at twenty-five, what Ash really wanted to do was settle down in one place. The only reason he could think of to force him away from his apartment would be to send him to jail, but being drunk wasn't a crime, was it?
"You can't live in your apartment anymore," the dark-skinned woman echoed.
Christian frowned at the dark-skinned woman. "Renee, you should at least give him an explanation. Don't we owe Ash Ketchum that much after he saved the world?"
"You're right," Renee sighed. She then turned to Ash and said the following: "Mr. Ketchum, I'm sure you have many questions. Which is understandable. And don't worry, you're not going to jail. You're done nothing wrong."
Ash gritted his teeth. "If I've done nothing wrong, why are you all accosting me like this? I just want to be left alone - if you owe me the truth, you owe me my chance at solitude!"
"It doesn't work that way, Mr. Ketchum," Christian responded, shaking his head and putting it in his hands. "The reason you can't go back to your apartment is because from here until further notice, you'll be living somewhere else."
"The loony bin? You're going to lock me up there, aren't you?"
"Stop making assumptions," Renee snapped. "You know what they say about assuming things, you make an - ".
"I get it" Ash all but yelled.
"No, you don't get it!" Christian yelled, slamming his fist against the desk.
Renee gasped. "Christian, that is mahogany!"
"Whatever" Christian said. "Anyway, Mr. Ketchum, you're moving to the Presidential Palace today. Your belongings will be transported there separately."
Ash's stomach dropped like he was on a roller coaster. "The Presidential Palace?"
"Yes," Renee told him. "We have arranged everything for you. The palace is being furnished as we speak."
"But I don't understand," Ash replied. "Does that mean…".
"The video you filmed in the Red Light District has gone viral," Christian said matter-of-factly, as if it all made perfect sense. "At this time, it has forty-seven million views on PokéTube and counting."
Ash gasped for air. "That's double what it was this morning."
"It's still morning."
"I don't care. I didn't even post the video! That's not my PokéTube channel!"
Renee frowned. "It doesn't matter, Mr. Ketchum. Or should I say, President-designate Ketchum?"
Ash's legs felt like jelly, and his head swam. Had Renee really just called him…?
"You're joking!" Ash shouted. He would have laughed at the joke, but he didn't think it was particularly funny.
In response, Renee handed Ash a gold medal, as though he'd just won a sporting event. However, Ash didn't exactly feel as though he'd triumphed at anything.
"I don't get it."
"This is the Presidential Medal of Kanto," Christian explained. "It's yours. Do you see it now?"
"I still don't believe you," Ash muttered. "This is a hoax."
Christian and Renee stared right into Ash's soul.
