Cinderheart's Confession by WyldClaw
Plot: how did Cinderheart tell dad about who she really was? Lionblaze/cinderheart fluff. Italics are thoughts and ~ indicates dream sequences. I own nada. This was written way before The Apprentice's Quest 'or Bramblestar's Storm. Enjoy!
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It was about two moons since the Dark Forest battle and I was thinking about telling my father the truth. about Cinderpelt err myself. Once I had found out the truth about who I was, I never told them since i believed it was my burden to bear. It was weighing heavily on my mind and it made it hard to hunt. My clanmates thought it was an after- effect of the Dark Forest battle or the recent loss. my mother Sorreltail had died due to her injuries in the Dark Forest Battle
I sighed as I padded to the bank next to a small stream in the sun dappled forest and sat down with my fresh kill. I had gone out hunting and caught a sparrow and a very fat squirrel. This was my thinking spot I used to clear my head so I had come a lot within the pas two moons. My thoughts drifted to the dream I had the other night.
~Dream sequence begins~
I was stalking a juicy fat rabbit nibbling a blade of grass. Go on rabbit nibble away. Ignore the death slinking towards you. I smirked as I slunk ever closer to the creature. At the right moment I leapt up, giving a terrifying "mrrrrow!" as I unsheathed my claws. The rabbit looked up it fear. It tried to run but failed as I took its life with one blow. It fell to the ground as I landed on my feet. I made sure to give thanks to StarClan for the creature's life.
"Good strike, young niece. Cloudtail has taught you well." a voice came from behind me and I whipped my head around. I saw a starry small sleek dark gray she-cat with blue eyes and a bushy tail pad toward me. I knew that voice intimately despite never meeting the cat as she had died the day I was kitted.
"C-Cinderpelt." I bowed my head in respect to the former medicine cat- the aunt I never got to meet. We looked so similar it was like looking into a puddle and seeing my reflection.
She let out a meow that sounded like a laugh. "No need to do that, Cinderheart. If anything I should be bowing to you. You allowed me to live the life of a warrior. "
I looked up, seeing myself reflected in her blue orbs. "I'm honored to have let you had the chance. But why did you choose me? Why not Molepaw or Honeyfern or Poppyfrost?"
Her whiskers twitched in amusement. "Because I saw so much of myself in you. No offense to your brother, but I don't think I would have made it as a tom "I tried to picture her spirit living in my brother away and I couldn't.
"It was hard for me... when I found out I was you. I mean you were me, well living in me"
"I'm sorry that I put you through so much turmoil"
"That's okay. Aunt Cinderpelt " I blurted out and her blue eyes sparkled at the name 'Aunt'. "You wanted to have a second chance."
"Aunt Cinderpelt" she tried it out. " I would have loved to to have heard that from your siblings and you when i was alive. "Despite everything you have gone through cinderheart you still seem troubled" she beckoned me with her tail. "Walk with me."
I got to my paws, the rabbit completely forgotten, and followed her. The trees and plants were in bloom and it smelled so nice. "StarClan is beautiful" I commented.
"Yes it is. Very large too- this is only a small part of it. Now that we have beaten the Dark Forest StarClan is going back to the way it used to be."
four StarClan cats walking near us were talking to each other. They were a white she cat and a broad-shouldered, pale golden tabby tom with green eyes, thick, tufty fur, and thick fur around his neck like a lion's mane. The third one was a big thick furred muscular snow-white tom with yellow eyes and tufted ears. The fourth was My slender tortishell mother.
. They stopped when they saw us. I recognized them from the stories Sorreltail and Brackenfur told me when I was a kit – they were his parents Frostfur and Lionheart and her father Whitestorm. I wanted to leap up and press my nose into mother's pelt and lick it like I was a small kit but I pushed that urge away. It seemed way too kit-like to do and though I had been distraught I had to move on.
The first two purred with delight when they saw Cinderpelt and went up and licked her cheek. "Oh Cinderpelt, my dear. We're so glad to see you safe in StarClan "Lionheart beamed.
Whitestorm smiled at me and I saw the same look of pride in his eyes "We heard about the battle. How terrifying!"
Cinderpelt's fur blushed. "It was nothing really. I really think all the credit goes to young Cinderheart here, "she beckoned me with her tail. "She did all the noble fighting while I was just a soul in her body getting a second chance at life."
I gulped as Frostfur and Lionheart stared at me lovingly. "Umm hello, I j-just want to say it was an honor to have your daughter share my memories and my body."
"I'm glad that you were able to let Cinderpelt live on in your life, young one." Whitestorm complimented me.
"Th-thank you Whitestorm. I've heard so much about you from Sorreltail and it's an honor to finally meet you. "
Frostfur chuckled. "I'm your grandmother Frostfur."
"Hello. Sorreltail and Brackenfur told me stories about you. ."
"And I have heard stories about you dear one." I ducked my head in embarrassment.
"There's no need to embarrassed dear one" Lionheart mewed. "We are simply glad you helped save the day. You have decided to be your own cat and chose your destiny"
'Lionheart…. the way you're going on you make it seem like she had no choice." Cinderpelt teased him.
I padded forward. "Actually i did. But i didn't want to be living two lives. I thought that if-if i freed Cinderpelt's spirit then i could live my own life. I had someone i truly loved; my clan and the memories were hard for me. I didn't think it think it was right so i made the choice on my own. "
"Spoken like my kin and like someone ." Whitestorm's eyes sparkled as he looked warmly at Sorreltail, who blushed.
"Whitestorm … are you trying to make to make me blush? "
He laughed. "of course I am… I wasn't in your life for that long so I have a lot of lost time to make up ."
she ducked her head in embarrassment. " I suppose so."
Frostfur went up to me. "That was well spoken. Brackenfur must be proud of you. "
I felt my heart sink- the mention of my father reminded me that i hadn't told them who had been in my body. He's go to starclan out of shock! I mean this is his sister who died helping Sorreltail give birth to me. My grandparents smiled as they nodded. " H-he is . "
"We'll always be watching over you, dear Cinderheart. " Whitestorm spoke up. "Remember that we all love you. "
"Thank you... it was great meeting all of you if briefly." I bowed my head in respect to these great respected warriors from the past. Whitestorm, Lionheart and Frostfur walked past Cinderpelt, Sorreltail and i.
Once they were out of sight my aunt turned to me. "Brackenfur doesn't know that I was you does he?"
I stopped in my tracks and shook my head. "No. They- he don't" I whispered. "When I found out the truth, I was so confused and there was so much going on in the Clans with the Dark Forest and the traitor. Seedkit and Lilykit were about to be born and-"
"I was worried about the kitting since I was much old than when I had when I had you Honeyfern and Poppyfrost." Sorreltail ended and then sighed. "my death was so hard for him."
"you didn't want to burden him with the news or bring up old wounds. "
"like the badger attack the night I was born" I shuddered. Thanks to her memories I had an inkling of what badgers were although I never met one. Nor do I want to.
We stopped and they faced me. " I think you should tell them. They deserve a right to know. Although it has been seasons I know my loss still hurts them. Remember when Honeyfern died?"
I nodded. "And Leafpool was looking at me-us-frantically hoping that I-we- could save her" She tapped me lightly with her tail. "It's hard but there are times when you know there is no hope and you have to let life take its course. It was her time- even StarClan can't reverse the paws of fate. I know that from first-paw experience .I think that they would be glad to know that I was there."
I dropped my voice. "wh-what about Lionblaze?"
She chuckled. "oh you mean Firestar's grandson? The member of the Three you like?" I felt my face get hot. "Well, you made up with him after you let me go free. He is quite the handsome tom just like his grandfather."
It hit me. when she talked about our old leader her voce got a softer tone to it- like Honeyfern's did when she talked about Berrynose before she died. "you loved Firestar when you were alive, didn't you?"
She sighed. "yes…I thought that we would be together and perhaps even mates. But after I was caught in Tigerstar's trap and became Yellowfang's apprentice I had to accept those feelings were but a shattered faded dream so I pushed them way down inside my heart and my mind. Yellowfang taught me that there are consequences to a medicine cat taking a mate or having kits. When Leafpool became my apprentice I was excited since she was his daughter. But when I saw her falling for Crowfeather, it brought back memories of my own lost feelings. "
"Oh wow, Cinderpelt … I'm so sorry. I never knew..." We stood up. "Thank you for that talk Cinderpelt. I think i will tell them."
She purred. "You're welcome dear one."
My mother looked at me with amber eyes. " my sweet kit. I'm so proud of you and what you've become. I know that you will be a fabulous big sister to Lilykit and Seedkit . Brightheart is doing her best to help raise them along with her own three young kits. Remember all Brackenfur and I taught you and teach your sisters that be kind to your Clanmates,, respect the warrior code . also tell them stories of me so that they don't forget me and where they came from. "
" I w-will Sorrel- M-Mother ." I meowed- all formalities forgotten.
She tapped my nose with her tail as everything around me started to fade. " I love you forever. Cinderheart… Cinderheart…" I heard some cat call my name over and over.
-Dream ends-
"... Cinderheart? Hello? Earth to cinderheart" a ginger tail waved in front of me. I blinked and found my self-back in the forest.
I turned around and saw Poppyfrost's daughter Cherrypaw there. "Oh hello Cherrypaw."
My amber-eyed energetic niece was beaming and bouncing on her paws. "Guess what? Guess what? Foxleap and Rosepetal said that tomorrow Molepaw and I are going to be warriors! Foxleap sent me on an assessment to see if i could find a clanmate and fresh kill in our territory and I found you. "
. I purred with happiness- she had worked extremely hard. "That's wonderful news Cherrypaw."
She gazed over to the buried fresh kill. "Wow. You must have been busy. Can i help you carry it back?"
I nodded as i unburied the prey. We brought it back to camp and deposited it in the growing fresh-kill pile.
"Well done, Cinderheart," our dark ginger pelted deputy Squirelflight nodded in approval.
"Do you know if Brackenfur is around? I want to talk to him in the training hollow privately."
She flicked her bushy tail to where my golden furred father was with Poppyfrost were sharing tongues. "he wanted a break from your younger sisters after he came back from a hunting patrol and they wanted badger back rides. Well …" she twitched her whiskers in amusement. " then Amberkit, Snowkit and Dewkit wanted rides too and then all fight of them wanted him to play 'invaders' with him."
I flicked my ears in amusement . " I bet he loved that . Thanks." I nodded my head in respect and padded over to I felt nervous as an apprentice about to start their first assessment. Would they be mad at me? Great StarClan, Cinderheart! Stop acting like a kit. Brackenfur are is your father– he won't be too freaked out… right?
I cleared my throat and they looked up. "Um, Brackenfur. There's something I need to tell you in private in the training hollow." Brackenfur stared at me intently with his great amber eyes. "It's nothing that you have to worry about. I promise"
He exchanged glances at the . "I have to go talk with Cinderheart for a few minutes. " We saw their sad facila expressions. " But don't worry - I'll be back soon."
As we headed to the empty spot the knot in my stomach tightened. Oh StarClan please help me.
Once we arrived in the hollow I motioned for him to sit down in the dusty leaf strewn earth. "I don't really know how to explain this without bringing up old wounds."
Brackenfur looked confused. "Explain what?" he asked.
"You know how S-Sorreltail named me after Cinderpelt after the badger attack that occurred when Poppyfrost and I were born?"
he got a little watery at the mention of his mate and sister . "Of course I do Cinderheart."
My tail brushed against the earth. "Well... she didn't go to StarClan when she died. She was reborn–".
Suddenly- like throwing up a piece of bad fresh kill -everything began spilling out: how I knew about different herbs, my discovery at who I really was, Jayfeather telling me the truth, Letting Cinderpelt go and I ended with the dream. He was a great listener-he gasped when I told he my revelation and about the dream. Their mouths seemed to drop when I explained about trying to decide between the two lives. When I told he about the dream he seemed to glow with happiness. In fact, when I mentioned calling Cinderpelt 'Aunt Cinderpelt' he purred in amusement. I finished my story. "... And I wasn't so sure how you would react 'cause she was your sister, Brackenfur and I didn't want to upset you but-"
Brackenfur held up a paw and I fell silent. "My sweet kit, you think we were going to be mad at you for telling me this?""
My tail twitched. "Well..."
He came up and licked my cheek. "I could never be mad at you for your decisions dear. Unless you fell in love with a ShadowClan cat."
I wrinkled my nose in utter disgust for a heartbeat. "Yuck! I'd rather eat fox dung! "
Brackenfur's whiskers twitched in amusement as he set his warm gaze on me. "I don't blame you." You know, now that I think about it, there were lots of signs that showed her soul inside you. Your eagerness to help, your knowledge of herbs, the way you seem so wise for one so young. Your resemblance to Cinderpelt and that special way you flick your paw. I always thought there was something about you-something I couldn't place my claw on. But your father and I are very proud of you for what you chose to do."
"Y-you a-are?" I sputtered out, sounding like I had a mouse stuck in my throat.
Brackenfur touched the tip of his tail to my shoulder. "Cinderheart, you gave your aunt another chance at an opportunity she was denied after her accident: the chance to be a well respected ThunderClan warrior. Even though she became an amazing medicine cat, I know there was a part of her that wished nothing could have changed. You allowed her to fufill that one desire. I know it must have been frustrating for you to keep your souls apart."
I sighed. "That's how I felt. I didn't know what to do. I thought after I learned who I am-was- I was supposed to be a medicine cat. It was Jayfeather and Lionblaze"- I felt my face burn at the sound of my love's name, "who helped me realize that I make my own path. StarClan may help guide my paws but the choice is up to me to decide how to live my life."
He purred proudly. "Spoken just like a true ThunderClan warrior. Your grandfather Whitestorm, Honeyfern and Molepaw are probably looking down on you from StarClan with great pride." he looked misty-eyed for a few heartbeats
.
"I didn't mean to make you sad,. But what am I going to tell Lionblaze? I mean, he's one of the Three and I am-was- a reincarnated cat. I love him with all my heart. When he admitted his power to me I thought I was just an ordinary warrior and that we couldn't be together. But now after releasing Cinderpelt's spirit I don't know if that means he'll still love me. I'm just a normal cat now ."
He flicked his ears and looked at me for a second. "Why don't you ask him yourself?" Brackenfur asked.
"What do you-" I began. The wind shifted directions and I got a super strong whiff of his scent. I turned around and saw my hero in shining golden fur standing a few kitten-steps behind me. His striking amber eyes seemed to melt me into a puddle and I couldn't speak.
Brackenfur stood up and stretched. "If you need me I'll be in the camp." he stated before padding out of the clearing.
I finally found my voice. "How long have you..."
"Been standing here?" he finished. "A short amount of time. " he sat down next to me. "What you told them. That took a lot of courage. "
"Thanks. But do you still want to be around me? I know that a while back I said that we couldn't be together because of your powers. But after everything that happened do you still want to be around an identity confused cat?"
He purred with amusement and licked my cheek. "What makes you think I wouldn't want to? You're beautiful, intelligent, funny and amazing in battle. I love you Cinderpelt with all my heart."
My heart seemed to burst with those words. My heart seemed to melt at those words. He loves me! "I love you too. But what about who we are?"
"You said it yourself: we make our own paths and StarClan is just there to help guide our pawsteps. Sometimes despite odd circumstances even they can't stop love. I'm one of the Three and have kittypet blood in my body because of Firestar. "
I remembered a story Sorreltail told me when I was a kit. "And Bluestar fell in love with a RiverClan tom even though she tried to stay loyal to the warrior code. But isn't Mistystar one of her kits?"
He nodded. "Yup. She didn't even know she was Half-Clan until much later in life- when she was Feathertail's mentor. From the stories I heard in the nursery she and her brother were persecuted by Tigerstar when he took over RiverClan. She escaped thanks to Firestar and Graystripe but her brother Stonefur..." one look at his sorrow filled face and I knew what had happened. There was no need to finish the sentence.
"But you're one of the most powerful cats alive. How am I supposed to compete with that?"
He purred in amusement. "Just because I have a unique ability doesn't mean I don't need some wonderful she-cat to keep me grounded. I don't care that you were Cinderpelt, I love you just the way you are. "
"So you don't mind then?" my whiskers twitched.
"Not if you don't mind not worrying about me getting injured in battle... or having to deal with to my grumpy pain in the tail brother."
" Jayfeather isn't that bad- I learned that when my leg was healing . And hows this for an answer?" I rubbed myself against his fur and licked his cheeks. He did the same to me.
At that moment nothing else in the world mattered-it felt like it was just Lionblaze and I. I felt like I could float up to StarClan and back I was in such a state of contentness. Thank you Cinderpelt. This is where I'm meant to be- right by Lionblaze's side.
The End
