Today's chapter is here, there will be two more and then a very short epilogue (as I said at the start, this is but a short story). Thanks for the comments everyone, I do read all of them, even if I do not reply to all.


Chapter 6


~ Saturday the thirtieth of November, after tea ~

People make no sense whatsoever.

Charlotte Lucas, whom I always thought well of, is simply dicked in the nob. I know that is rude, but there's just no other explanation, she has given leave to all her senses, and I know Lizzy does not understand any more than I do.

Charlotte is engaged to Mr Collins! Cork-brained, toad-eating, ridiculous Mr Collins is engaged to a clever, well she used to be clever anyway, well-bred lady such as Charlotte. It makes no sense. None at all.

At least our cousin has left Longbourn to go back to his parish in Essex or Kent, somewhere east of here in any case. I did not listen to half the words he spoke, but he lives near a Roses estate that sounded quite grand, I think, so Charlotte will have some pretty walks when she has to get away from him. That is a consolation I suppose.

But married to Mr Collins, no, I do not want to even imagine this.

Papa's book on the Savanna, I am re-reading this at the moment, although I do not know I want to go there anymore as it is sounds very hot and dry, and that is not good for my delicate soft skin; the book talks of other animals. If the soldiers are lions, although some are too ugly to be lions, maybe those are hyenas, scavenging predator dogs, I see Mr Collins as the dwarf mongoose who feeds on insects, except his insects are all the words of wisdom buzzing around his grand patroness.

Charlotte will be married to a mongoose, which sounds a bit like a nickname for a moon-calf goose although it is a rodent and not a bird; it sounds like a silly animal in any case. She will live constantly with buzzing noisy insects around her head. Poor Charlotte.

I don't want to think about our cousin any longer, maybe Lizzy will be up for a walk with me, we could go all the way to Oakham Mount, which is not a mount at all, more of a hillock; I prefer the word hillock, it is more dainty and pretty.

LMB


~ Thursday the fifth of December ~

Mr Bingley came back to Netherfield this morning. I wonder how Aunt Phillips does it, she is always the first to know of all our neighbours' movements. I will ask her, but I do not think she will tell me.

Lizzy had another letter from London, and the Gardiners will arrive on the twenty third this month. It is later than usual, but one of uncle's boats that he send away for his business has been delayed and he wants to check the cargo it brings back before coming here. It may be a ship rather than a boat, Lizzy said it is very large and carries many smaller boats for landing the crew or bringing goods onboard; why do we need two words to say the same things? Ships and boats are made of wood and carry people on water, that is the same. I think the navy calls them vessels sometimes, but I do not know why either.

I hope the cargo includes some silk and muslin, as my aunt may then bring us some gifts of colourful, pretty fabrics for new dresses. She often does that for Christmas. That boat-ship came back from India this time, but I do not recall whether the best fabric comes from there or when the cargo is from China, so I will have to wait and pray she brings me some to make a new blue dress as my best one is getting too small around the bosom.

The last few days have been quite dismal, the weather is bad, Mama is whining and complaining about Lizzy having let Charlotte steal Longbourn from us; I feel too exhausted to deal with her.

At least we managed another two walks with Lizzy, but we got wet on the way back yesterday, and our maid was not pleased to see my hems looking just like Lizzy's. I could not help giggling a little at the expression on her face, but I have apologised since, and she forgave me. Sally is a good girl really, I do not want to give her too much more work.

LMB


~ Friday the sixth of December ~

Mr Bingley came to visit today, and he spoke to Papa. Then he spoke to Jane, and they went back to speak to Papa again.

They are now engaged, but I do not understand why they had to make it so complicated, he could just have asked Jane and be done with it. Mary says it is proper to ask a lady's father before proposing, but it seems to be a waste of time, and as Jane is already of age, she does not need Papa's permission to wed.

In any case, Jane is smiling as she always does, and everyone is happy. Well, I am not sure Papa cares enough to be happy, but he does not mind, so that's not so bad. On balance I am more happy than not.

I still find my new brother a little wanting when it comes to passion, and I would like him to stop smiling even if only for a few hours; I do not want to think of Miss Lemon Bingley as a sister but having them stay at Netherfield is better than having the property empty, as we would have to re-start looking after their tenants if they left. Lizzy insisted we did when the property was empty, she was right that it was not be fair on the tenants to be left alone, but I am not sure it should have come to us to look after them. I do not see why the owner could not come back to do his own work, but as he never did, Lizzy, Mary and I added them to our rounds of visits for the two years before the estate was leased and it was exhausting. They do have some nice children though, and some girls my age that were very friendly so it was not so bad, just tiring.

I wonder if Miss Superior Bingley is looking after them properly. I will ask Lizzy, and I will ask whether we need to train Jane to do the visits as she has never really been able to help. That was not her fault, Mama was worried she would get brown and coarse if she spent too much time outside, so she would not let her. I think if Lizzy shows her what to do, she will learn, but her Mr Bingley will need to get her a new horse and maybe a phaeton, as she does not walk much. Her legs are definitely not as shapely, not even as good as mine.

Mama would like the wedding to be in March or April when there are many flowers to choose from. If I was in love and getting married, I would not want to wait so long, but Jane will probably accept. She always let other people decide what they want, I really do not understand her.

It is good for Lizzy though, as it means Mr Darcy will come back often. He was with his friend today, although he stayed in the background al lot, so that he did not distract us from congratulating Jane and her beau. He is quite thoughtful, and I like him all the more for not trying to show off when he is so rich and clever.

He told Lizzy and I, for I was their chaperone today, not officially as they are not courting, but in my head, I was, he told us that he will spend Christmas in town with his sister, their aunt and uncle and his favourite cousins. That is how it should be, I like a man who does not neglect his family. It bodes well for when he is my brother, as I do not like being neglected.

He will be leaving in a week's time, so that won't be enough time for Lizzy to fall in love with him, even though she likes him well enough now, but he will come back in February to help Bingley prepare for the wedding, and he will stay several weeks, that should do the trick.

I would love to see Lizzy happy and settled far enough from Mama, for she still complains about Mr Collins, even though Jane is engaged to a much richer man.

I wish I was not one of Mama's favourites, I like that she does not shout at me as she does Mary and Lizzy, but I would prefer she did not constantly praise me. I do not think it did Jane any good, and I do not want to become vain like Miss Bingley. I am so much prettier than her, I could become absolutely unbearable, I am sure.

LMB


~ Sunday the eighth of December, back from Church ~

Aunt Phillips had more gossip to share after church today. I do not think Mr Thompson likes to see her holding court like that in the churchyard, but she does not notice small things like our rector's displeasure. Still, I might want to tell her as he is such a nice man, and I don't want him to be too sad.

Apparently, Mr Wickham, the gypsy-like officer, has been confined to barracks, and many of the other officers are also in trouble. From what she said, Mr Darcy warned Colonel Forster weeks ago that Mr W did not always pay his debt and should be watched, but the colonel did not listen as he had believed Mr W sob story. Well, my Uncle Phillips – now our town hero – heard of the warning and subsequent inaction, and he went round all the shops to tell them. Most of the shops are now trying to get all the militia tabs cleared, but many of the officers do not have enough money. There is apparently a huge row, as the shopkeepers want the colonel to pay and then get that money back from the soldier's pay, but he says it is too much money and he can't.

Mr W is the worst of them according to my aunt, and in just three weeks, he owes the town more than fifty pounds. Fifty pounds is just a fortune, and I cannot see how he spent so much. Uncle Phillips says a lieutenant in the militia earns four shillings and eight pence per day. I am not very good at numbers, so I had to write all the sums down on a scrap of paper, but that is fifty six pence each day, and fifty pounds is twelve hundred, no, thousand pence. That means two hundred and fourteen days and a little more to pay. He spend over seven months of his pay in three weeks. Even I do not spend nearly that much in a quarter, and I love shopping.

Soldiers are really not paid well, I am glad I do not like them anymore. There are so many of Papa's words that could apply to them, some are raffish scapegraces, some are cheeseparing, freely bleeding, often foxed low-lives living in dun territory. There, that should cover the regiment quite nicely. I cannot believe I ever liked them; it is ridiculous what a simple uniform can do to a lady's wit, at least for a short time.

I hope the colonel pays the shops for they cannot wait so many months for the money.

Lord, this is shocking. I wish I had enough money to spend fifty pounds in three weeks, I would have so many nice baubles with that much money.

LMB


~ Wednesday the eleventh of December ~

I am bored of all the wedding talk already and we have three more months of it at least. I cannot wait for the Gardiners to come as our aunt manages Mama very well.

And in spite of all the lace and flower plans, Mama still finds time to tell Lizzy she is an ungrateful child for refusing Mr Collins, and Mary she is too plain to ever attract a man. I have no patience for Mama any longer, but Lizzy says to just ignore it, Mama will calm down when the holiday celebrations begin. I will never be as tolerant or patient as Lizzy, I am sure of it. I will ask aunt Gardiner to praise Mary a lot, so that it makes her feel better after all of Mama's mean comments. Why can't she see that our sister is quite as sensitive as any of us? And I think she is much prettier than Mama thinks, even if Jane or I are more beautiful; she is so very good a person, generous and forgiving, even of younger sisters who may borrow ribbons they are not supposed to, I am sure our Mary will marry very well one day..

Aunt Phillips came again today. Mr Darcy has paid all the soldier's vowels to the shopkeepers, but not the tavern as the owner continues to serve the militiamen on credit, and Mr Darcy does not approve. He said he will not cover any further debt so the shops must refuse credit, and they have all agreed, apart from the tavern. He has requested payment from Colonel Forster in instalments – Lizzy says that means the colonel should pay some of the money each month until the debt is clear rather than all at once. I think that is a good idea as the Colonel may not have had enough to cover all of the debts, as many soldiers owed several pounds.

But I am not sure the colonel will pay all, Mr Darcy may have lost some money there. I do not mind too much, as he is rich and won't be in as much trouble as our cobbler or tailor would be. It is decent of him to make sure they do not lose their shops.

If the tavern closes because the militia doesn't pay, it won't be so bad, but I do not think Meryton could do without most of our other shops.

I really like Mr Darcy now, and I think Lizzy has warmed up to him quite nicely too. He has been coming every day with Mr Bingley, and Lizzy and him always walk out to be Jane and Bingley's chaperones – it has gotten very cold now, so I am glad I do not have to walk every day with Lizzy, but she still gets her exercise.

I was worried about my legs losing all the progress I made, for I absolutely love their new toned shape, so Lizzy had a great idea, and Mary, Kitty and Mrs Hill helped her prepare a surprise for me. They have cleared a walking path all around the attics, so that I can exercise indoors when the weather is cold. Kitty now comes with me on our walks around the forest of trunks and boxes as we call it. Lizzy also sometimes joins us, and we all have a good giggle describing the things stored up there as if they were the prettiest flowers in a walled garden, it is such a good lark.

We really have the oddest things stored up there, we will need to explore some of these trunks and chests one day, for there may be some long-forgotten treasure dating back to an also long-forgotten Bennet ancestor. I would love to find treasure.

Mr Darcy says he will leave by the end of next week. I think Lizzy will miss him, but I will be happy to have more of her company. I am a little selfish, but she is so good at breaking the tedium of winter, I cannot help myself, I want more of my sister's time and attention.

LMB