Chapter 32: Parenting! Truly not for everyone
"What if he gets lost?" I asked with a distressed face, not looking at the potatoes in front of me that I was supposed to be peeling.
Domi sighed. His exasperation didn't deter him from chopping up carrots and onions with his quick knife work.
"He won't."
"You don't know that! And what if he meets a Celestial? Or, I don't know, someone like Ego?"
Domi frowned and paused in his motions.
"That weird aware planet you told me about once? Why should he, or any Celestials for that matter, care about Bert?"
"Well, you know… Bert is quite good at accidentally insulting people," I reminded my friend – who promptly rolled his eyes and went back to chopping.
Very out of character for him, I must have been really getting on his nerves.
"He is quite good at creeping people out, you mean," Domi corrected. "Now, are you going to peel any of these potatoes, or do you just want to watch me cook?"
"Yeah, yeah," I unenthusiastically replied.
"You were the one to volunteer us for cooking duty," Domi reminded me.
I sent him a look.
"We are always on cooking duty. Half of the group couldn't cook for themselves, let alone a bigger group of people. Excuse me for not wanting to spend tomorrow on the toilet."
Domi let out a chuckle.
"No, without us, they would just have food delivered."
I halted and cocked my head.
"Oh yeah. I always forget that people do that," I commented lightly.
"I know, I remind you regularly. Every time your raid my fridge when you are too lazy to go shop for groceries, for example."
"Bah!" I waved the thought of using delivery services away. "My grandma would be aghast."
My friend raised an eyebrow and mustered me skeptically.
"You sure it's not the social awkwardness of having to interact with another – unknown to you – human being?" he asked critically.
"Shush, I don't know what you are talking about."
A few minutes passed in silence between us. Domi was just reaching over to reach a half of the barely touched potatoes when I spoke up again, thoughts miles away.
"Say, did Thor mention whether or not he would be there today?"
"No?" Domi answered. "But I don't think so. He seemed pretty hassled last time. Why?"
"It's nothing. Just wanted to ask him a couple of questions…," I evaded his queries.
The days between Bert's departure and the beginning of the Convergence were tense ones for me. In the grand scheme of things, Thor – The Dark World was actually one of the movies I knew the most about. Simply because it was the one had me and my best friend, who herself was not overly invested in Marvel, laughing the most.
Sadly, that didn't mean that the Convergence made any more sense to me. But at least I knew who I had to watch; Selvig.
Who was definitely not alright.
I couldn't quite remember whether or not he had been on the receiving end of one of my rune patches like the group of agents that tried to raid the Helicarrier during the invasion. Maybe not. Maybe some of the mind stone's power had continued to linger.
Whatever the reason, as the first days of November passed, his theories became more unhinged than ever – to the point even I had some doubts. Even tough I knew he was onto something.
I knew he had become worse because I talked to him a couple of times. Questioning him on the when and the where, mainly. At last, he gave me access to his phase meter. A small instrument that could measure gravitational anomalies. It looked like a slightly more advanced version of my trusty calculator that carried me through my A-level math courses. Docked on was a toaster. Not a real toaster. I think. But it did look like one.
Toaster clammed under my right arm, I switched from watching the beeping calculator to mustering the abandoned factory building.
"This-," I stated with absolute surety, "-is where they will find my body. Drained of blood and missing all of its organs. I mean, honestly."
I shook my head in disbelief.
The scene was vaguely recognizable to me. So, I was probably in the right spot. It just so happened that that spot could have been straight out of a horror movie.
I shivered in my fluffy winter coat – but not from the British November cold. It was 6 a.m., the sun was only just starting to rise, coloring the cloudy sky in a dark grey. The streetlights only served to make the deserted property appear more creepy, their lights couldn't reach that far and so the building was bathed in a murky atmosphere.
"The fuck were kids doing here?" I whispered to myself.
"There is an elementary school not 3 km from here," Ree helpfully supplied.
"And I bet their parents would have whipped their asses if they knew where their kids spent the afternoon," I shot back.
To be fair, if there had been a similar factory around my old school, I probably would have done the same.
With a sigh, I started my tour of the definitely-not-haunted old building. Bathing my surroundings in eerie greenish-blue light did not help my budding paranoia, but it was the only hue my ring had available, and it was the most convenient source of light.
The factory, if it even had been one, was surprisingly clean and stable looking. So, at least I didn't have to worry about death by building collapse.
I trudged on, my steps echoing through the empty corridors and the phase meter in my hand occasionally beeping unhelpfully. When I came to a large, bricked hall with an old cement truck, I knew I was right here.
Pointing my ring directly at the front of the truck, I read: "Norman Emerson and Sons, hm?" and nudged the bumper up with my foot. I couldn't suppress a grin as the metal groaned and then the whole thing started to float.
"Bingo. Now, where the hell is it?"
Continuing my exploration, I found the stairwell a couple of minutes later. Throwing a rock down proved the Convergence was already in full effect – it disappeared and reappeared above me, caught in an endless fall until it just stopped rematerializing.
Trying to find the direction Jane would have run off to in another life was slightly more challenging. It took me a few tries and getting lost until I found a corridor that I could have sworn was the one shown in the film.
"Huh. And what now?" I asked myself quietly.
November 9th. The right day, the right place. Perhaps I would have to wait until the afternoon?
Already halfway resigned to having to wait for 8 hours, a strong gust of wind from behind took me by surprise.
"Uuah!"
With no grace at all, I waved my free arm around in an attempt to not face plant into the cement floor, barely holding on to the toaster under my other arm.
I had only just caught myself when the wind took up again. I was dragged forward, my feet scratching over the ground.
When the unnatural wind let up, I stumbled to a halt. Taking the time to look around, I got the chance of mustering the mysterious hiding place for the Aether.
It was dark. It was vaguely creepy. Unnerving.
It made the hair on my neck stand up.
"I do not like this horror movie vibe we have going on here for a theme," I muttered, mustering my surrounding skeptically as I holstered the calculator on the toaster.
With my now freed hand I fished out the necklace I had made.
It was the most advanced version of my containment devices yet. It was also smaller, taking advantage of the seemingly liquid consistency of the Aether. I fashioned it after the Sky Disc of Nebra. Mainly for personal reasons, though it seemed fitting as one of the oldest manmade depictions of the sky.
For me, it held a lot of sentimental value. The reminder of a promise I made myself a long time ago. My mother had gotten me a necklace like this from a market while on travel for work. I had worn religiously for years, often under my clothing, until the metal had oxidized and turned green – just like the original.
That was exactly what I was planning to tell anyone that asked about the necklace.
There should be no trace of the Aether, not even a faint glow. And I would keep it by my side around the clock.
In my estimation, the Aether and the Time Stone were the most powerful and dangerous Infinity Stones. They were the hardest to combat. An imaginative user of either would be as good as undefeatable.
The red glow of the Aether made it easy to locate. It gave its surroundings a hellish atmosphere.
I approached it carefully, the hand with the opened necklace stretched out in its direction. When I brushed against the stone casing, the Aether started to move, slithering like tentacles towards me, growing as it came closer.
I had a hard time staying still. The urge to turn around and run was undeniably all I could think about.
In the end it wasn't me that flinched back. The Aether recoiled as it touched my skin, drawing back and hovering for a moment. I didn't bother suppressing a smirk as I jumped forward and touched the Aether with my container.
One touch was all it took for my runes to lock onto their target. It sucked the red smoky liquid in like a vacuum.
"Yes!" I triumphantly hissed as I held the necklace up.
Curious, I brought it to my face and studied it.
Yup, nothing out of the ordinary. No way you would guess that this necklace housed one of the six most powerful things in the universe.
Delighted, I hung it around my neck, fumbling a bit because I only had one free hand.
"Great. Now, how do get out of here?"
With a smile I breathed in the cold November air, relieved to be able to leave the horror movie sets behind me. I noticed with wonder that the sun stood already high in the sky. Well, it was London, so it was hidden behind a bunch of clouds, but my point stood.
Hours had passed during my time in Bor's hiding place.
I knew that had been the case for Jane too in the movie, however my expectation had been that that was because of her possession via Reality Stone.
Noticing that it started to rain, I hurried for some cover under some oddly stacked containers. Leaning against the metal, I watched the rain and went through my next steps.
With the Aether secured and out of reach, the Dark Elves were the only problem remaining. With the Stone off the table, they had no reason to attack Earth, so that showdown was avoided.
However, it did seem likely that they would try and ravage Asgard, if not on the search for clues about the Stone than at least as revenge against Bor's ilk.
But what to do about that?
Pondering, I fished out an umbrella, deciding to take a stroll to go over the tentative plans I had made for the rest of the Convergence.
I turned around and nearly had a heart attack.
"Thor! What the fuck! Why are standing behind me silently? Are trying to jump scare me?" I asked with a hand over my heart, trying to get the adrenalin spike back under control.
Thor looked at me with concerned big eyes, cocking his head as if to indicate that he didn't know what I was talking about.
"I was worried about you, my friend! And you did indeed jump astoundingly high?" he answered.
I nodded.
"Remind me to put more horror movies on the pop culture list," I said and left it at that.
"Now, why are you here? Not that I'm not flattered by your concern but why were you worried about me?"
And that was how I found out that Odin had put me on a fucking watchlist. A literal list of threats for Heimdall to check in on. Apparently, there was a distinction between the subtle obscuring of Heimdall's vision through sorcery – like for example in my own home – and me outright disappearing from the face of the Earth. Which is why Heimdall alarmed Thor and sent him to my last known location.
"You know," I pressed out between grinding teeth as I massaged the bridge of my nose, "Your father really is something."
"I know," Thor allowed, unable to defend his father.
"And it says a lot about his qualities that I'm certain about your brother being on that same list."
I shook my head at the thought but narrowed my eyes when Thor started shifting from one foot to the other, desperately avoiding looking directly at me.
"Thor? How is your brother doing?"
"Ah, well, he isn't the happiest?" the Asgardian answered vaguely.
"Why? I thought you said you had worked out a deal with Odin about Loki?" I asked slowly, knowing I wouldn't like the answer.
"So, yes, that is true. Loki was supposed to do some decades of community service in all of the Nine Realms, but then…"
"Yes?" I asked leadingly as Thor stalled.
"I don't really know, I wasn't there- "
"Thor, please just spit it out!"
"Loki used one of his tricks to make a task easier for himself, the Allfather found out, they got into a huge fight and now Loki sits in a cell," Thor rushed out.
"And my mother won't talk to my father anymore and she is sorrowful because Loki refuses to talk to her, saying that she is encouraging Odin's behavior. My father refuses to acknowledge Loki's existence and it has been a horribly awkward couple of weeks."
I groaned into my hands. The amount of family drama was really staggering.
"A Reality TV-Show about your family would get killer ratings," I informed Thor.
"Thank you?" he said, not sure whether that was a compliment – he had watched a couple of episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians before, funnily enough, that had been put on the list by Barton. I still wasn't sure if that was supposed to be a joke.
"We're going to go to Asgard now by the way," I stated.
"We are?"
"Yes. Heard that Heimdall? At your convenience."
"My friend! I am unsure that is a wise decision- "
I never got to hear Thor's reasons for objecting. As soon as I stepped out from under the container, the Bifrost enveloped us.
A trippy couple of seconds later and I stood on a to me quite familiar platform. Heimdall's little observatory.
The rainbow bridge was truly a marvel to behold, however I was desperately concentrating of resisting the urge to turn around.
With the way to Asgard in front of me, the view of the galaxy would have to be behind me. A spectacular view. Spectacularly triggering.
Having a panic attack would not be very conductive to my plans.
Therefore, I held a fast pace.
I nodded my thanks to Heimdall, who just inclined his head slightly in what could have been anything from a "Hello" to a "Fuck you", and powerwalked in the direction of all the sparkly buildings, a nervously laughing Thor hurrying after me.
"Or not. Oh boy, this isn't going to go well," Thor muttered under his breath.
"Hah, it's not as fun when you aren't the rash one, hm?" I quipped and took off full flight before I could hear his answer.
Of course, it took a while before I came face to face with Odin himself. That is to say, he let me wait.
As if I hadn't disliked him enough.
Oh sure, on paper I was the one showing up unannounced. But he knew that I knew that he was just playing power games. Douche.
So it was a supremely pissed off version of me that was finally being led in front of the Allfather's pompous throne.
The Asgardian love of gold was decidedly more ridiculous than impressive in person. Gold everywhere. The shimmering made it slightly irritating.
The worse my mood became, the more Thor tittered around. It slightly surprised me that he didn't try convincing me that I should just portal back home.
When I stood at an adequate conversing distance, Odin and I took turns mustering the other with a cold gaze.
I waited just long enough for him to move in the slightest way, indicating that he was preparing to speak, to start with something out of left field for him.
"There is a good chance that the Dark Elves are going to attack Asgard in the next few days. Of course, what they are really after is the Aether, but it is safe. SO, they will probably come here in search for clues," I informed Odin succinctly.
He frowned at me, heavier than before.
"What are you talking about, mortal? The Dark Elves have been dead and eradicated for thousands of years!" he donnered angrily.
I rolled my eyes. Seriously? The first things he says about me? Asgardians man, they made it really hard to not punch them in the face sometimes.
"The Convergence opened up a pathway to where Bor hid the Aether. The Dark Elves have been biding their time, kind of hibernating, until they could get to their chosen weapon," I explained in the tone of a man that full-well knew that Odin wouldn't listen to him anyway.
"Dark Elves? From the stories Mother told us as children? And what is the Aether?" Thor asked, helplessly confused.
"Yes, they are nothing more than tales now. The Aether was a powerful weapon they planned to use to bring the universe back to darkness," Odin answered.
"Eh, close enough. As you can see, I am thoroughly unsurprised that you don't believe me. So how about this; I stay here for - let's say a couple of weeks and then if nothing happens, I'll answer all your pressing questions," I proposed.
"Why should I agree to such a deal? Mortals don't belong on Asgard," the "Protector" of the Nine Realms argued haughtily, though I could see a glimmer of greed in his eye.
"Hela," I simply said and enjoyed Odin's face turning purple.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT NAME?"
"You'll just have to wait two weeks to find that out, won't you?" I answered smugly.
"Fine!" he exclaimed annoyed.
"Fine!" I said and crossed my arms.
"I don't see how any of this is fine," Thor commented dejectedly, looking like he would have rather been anywhere but here.
It's hard when your friends and your parents don't get along.
