Disclaimer, I do not own either Naruto or Highschool DxD.
Perverted Potion Prankster is wrote by fairy tail dragon slayer.
Chapter 4
"…weren't you the one who asked if we could continue?" asked Issei, with a deadpanned expression on his face.
They indeed immediately started watching the next part. Or rather, they tried.
Azazel nodded in response, leaning forward on the couch and extending his hand, holding the controller he himself has built, mashing the start button frantically. There was no reaction – neither from the fissure, or machine that was supposed to stabilize it.
"A malfunction, maybe?" asked curiously Sirzechs.
"Not possible!" Azazel spited out the answer through gritted teeth. "That device is brand new, I've made it myself to make sure nothing like that would happen!"
"Then maybe a power shortage?" Grayfia proposed next. "You said that the energy generated is not infinite, after all."
"It's still NEARLY infinite, would not run out so soon" he replied, raising the hand with pilot. "Besides, I'm holding it right here and can feel it's still powered."
"Well, something's clearly not working…" Rossweisse began pondering on the matter herself, until her sight landed on the machine under magical fissure. "Maybe stabilizer is at fault?"
"As I said, it's all brand new…" Azazel sighed heavily, resigned, as put the controller into his pocket and stood up, making his way towards the center of the room. "I've performed multiple tests as well, all to make sure it'll work perfectly…"
"We've never dealt with an interdimensional fissure like that before" Sirzechs made a notice. "You couldn't predict how a machinery would behave in a long run, when exposed to colliding energies of Ophis and Great Red, with that form of power."
Fallen Angels Governor didn't responded. His fingers touched the surface of the pedestal-like device, invoking multiple magical circles and screens with coding information. Azazel proceeded to interact with seals, turning and pushing them, while looking through the coding and clicking his tongue in annoyance. He took out the pilot again and pushed the buttons, to no avail.
"I just don't get it… Whole device is intact, receiver is functional and while power output is a bit too high, it's still within acceptable scale… Work, you piece of junk!"" he growled in frustration, kicking the side of the device. He blinked in surprise when fissure made a noise and suddenly lit up. "Look at that, it work-"
Something flew by him.
He didn't saw it and didn't felt it. All he perceived was a sharp whistle and a cool breeze on his cheek. He immediately turned around…
*BANG*
"So-chan~!?"
Sona Sitri was laying on her back, her legs spread high in the air and skirt flipped, showing up a cute pair of laced white panties. Also, her forehead was steaming.
"Nice and cute!" Issei immediately made a comment on student council president, grabbing his chin in deeper thought. "Though I would say, black would suit-"
*BANG*
"-yooooouuuuu…"
He didn't managed to finish. The thing that flew out of the portal and hit Sona, ricochet from her to the ceiling and then smashed down straight into Issei balls.
He lost all strength in his body and fall backwards, just as Sitri heiress.
The thing however – round and in the size of a large melon – ricochet again, this time taking its curse towards Vali. But bouncing around the large room like this seemingly cause it to loose large amount its momentum, allowing more battle accustomed people to see its shape and trajectory.
Lucifer descendant gathered large amount of magic in his hand, then prepared himself and when the thing was close enough, he took a swift swing at it. The back of his hand connected, causing him a bit of pain, as he could feel his bones being pushed to their limit, but allowing him to repel the projectile.
He took a deep breath, confident smirk on his lips, as he heard the thing bouncing on the opposite side of the room.
*BANG*
Then he felt the pain.
It regain part of its momentum from his swing, making it much harder to track, and as it bounced around, it eventually found its way back – landing on the floor in front of him, then ricocheting straight into his crotch.
That seemingly made it loose most of its speed, as it flew high into the air and…
*PLOP*
…it dived right between Akeno tits. There, it finally stopped, resting between two massive melons of their own.
"What… the hell… was that…?" asked Issei, his eyes closed in intense pain, as he finally regained enough strength to curl up into a ball. "My... balls…"
Ophis watched his reaction, then turned to her comrade. Vali was standing confidently, with arms crossed on his chest and his back leaning against a wall.
"Vali, you are okay?" she asked, seemingly curious at his calmness. "He is in pain."
"I'm fine…"
"Vali… your legs are shaking."
"…shut… up…"
Serafall on the other hand has fallen into tears, leaning over her sister. "So-chan, don't die on me! So-chan!"
"Quiet, please… Ouch… My head…" Sitri heiress moaned in pain, her entire vision spinning, as she raised hand and placed it on top of her head. "What… was that?"
Eyes of everyone in the room focused on Akeno… or rather her cleavage. The girl actually blushed, then smirked teasingly, as she slid her finger down her cleavage and dragged it down, revealing more of her breasts… and of the thing between them.
It was round object with fairly smooth surface, with a mixture of bluish and greenish color. Looked like an egg.
Azazel would probably enjoy the view himself, if not for the mysterious object between those round knockers. Considering it flew from the fissure, he was conflicted – on the one hand, he was extremely interested in what it was and why it came her; on the other, it could be dangerous… or perverted.
Asia immediately moved to administer the first aid with her Twilight Healing.
As he was considering the option, he heard a sudden yet quite rustle behind him. Turning around, fully expecting another 'thing' to fly out of the portal and this time hit him straight in the face, he was greeted with… nothing.
At least at first glance, as when he lowered his gaze to seek the source of the rustle… he found it. Still in the air, slowly falling to the floor.
A piece of paper, with something on it. A note.
Azazel didn't hesitated even for a moment, he immediately grabbed it and unfolded, his eyes sliding from one line to another. Slowly, his eyes were widening. Before he read it, he was considering keeping the content of it to himself and higher-ups, such as Sirzechs and Grayfia, but now that he knew what was there…
"Everyone, focus here!" he called out to the whole room, gaining their attention. "I think you want to hear this… That note came out of the fissure, it reads:"
Hey, my fellow perverts, watching me from the other universe. I can see You.
Love, Naruto the Perverted Potion Prankster.
P.S. Stop calling me an alchemist! I am an Allcumist!
"There is also something on the reverse:"
P.P.S. The thing that I kicked into the portal is a seed.
If you destroy it, it will split into a horde of indestructible fuck monsters. On the other hand, if left alone, it will hatch into a single one – your choice:
One of you gets fucked, or all of you gets fucked.
There was silence. And then…
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Irina burst out in disbelief, red on her face. Her wings didn't even flinched in color at the swear, as what she felt at that moment was (in her eyes) a righteous anger. "He's watching us?! But… how?!"
"He didn't seem to be doing anything like that in the footage" Xenovia pointed out, crossing her legs and grabbing chin in thought. "Or… actually be able to do something like that at all."
Azazel seemed a bit distressed. "Maybe he cannot… yet."
"The larger implication of that…" Sirzechs, alongside his own wife, seemed puzzled as well. "Actually, can an alchemy even bring you to such level?"
"There may, or rather must, be some unknown factors to it…" Grayfia deduced, still a bit dazed by this revelation. "To be able to watch another universe, at will…"
The only one of the older group that didn't seemed worried about that stuff was Serafall. On the contrary – she seemed a bit excited.
"So, at some point… we may watch him, watching us, watching him?" she asked with a rising smile. "That… is… awesome!"
"And a bit invasive…" Sona sigh, both at her older sister reaction and in relief, as Asia finished her treatment and moved towards Vali. "Though we cannot really complain, considering we're doing the same thing."
Yuuto nodded in agreement, though his face showed he was not exactly agreeing with that. "Though we're watching events from the past, while he…"
"That's still watching his somewhat personal life."
Listening to all of this was Gasper, who kept sending bashful gazes left and right, uncertain about something. Finally though, he gathered his courage, swallowed his nervousness and spoke:
"Is… no one going to address the fact, that he called us – all of us – perverts?"
A silence again fell over the room, as everyone in the room turned towards the dhampire. He quickly panicked, crawling backwards and hiding his head beneath a pillow, muttering terrified apologies. Meanwhile… all hell broke loose.
"I'm NOT a pervert!"
"H-he's absolutely insolent!"
"This is just dumb…"
"More like ridiculous."
"Perv… Pervert? M-me?"
Everyone started speaking, one over the other, their voices blending together into incomprehensible mess. Only Irina and Rossweisse – who stood up to show their outrage – as well as Koneko and Sona – who remained calm, despite the accusation – and embarrassed Asia could be faintly recognized from the mayhem.
Despite all of this, some did not payed attention – neither to the chaos around or Gasper remark. Instead…
"So… you're going to hatch at some point?" Akeno asked quietly, smiling, as she poked the large seed between her breasts. She slowly licked her lips, as her cheeks became slightly pink from excitement. "Fu, fu, fu~!"
"Now, calm down a bit, Himejima~" purred a black cat girl who, not knowing when, moved from the piles of pillows behind their couch. "Who said you'll keep it?"
Hybrids' brow twitched. "Oh? After all this bouncing around, it landed specifically in my bosom, so I thought it would be the safest to leave it there."
"Oh, really?" Kuroka smiled mischievously, crossing arms under her rack. "In that case, I think you'll agree for me to take it from you? It won't hatch for some time, or until someone will destroy it, after all."
Queen of Rias Gremory send a blank look towards the cat girl, getting a smug one in response.
"You just want to get fucked by it."
"Nyahaha~!" Koneko older sister throw her head back in laughter. "At least, unlike you, I'm open about it~!"
"Girls…"
"Ara, ara… You really do not care how people look at you, don't you?" Akeno retorted with a smile, placing a hand on her own cheek. "Flashing those tits and showing those legs at each chance… You're really are quite a slut, aren't you?"
"In fact, I am~" she responded, almost sounding prideful about it. "Now, since you seem to DO care about appearance, I'll say you should hand over that seed."
"Girls…"
"How about no, pussy cat?"
"For a supposed sadist, you have some lame monikers, Ms. Closet Pervert."
Rias brow twitched in annoyance, as her previous attempts to calm the black-haired girls went pass them. She was ready to raise her voice, but someone else managed to turn the situation she was unable to contain.
"Would you stop arguing, or do you want me to take this seed from you?"
It was Grayfia. Without any of them noticing she went from her place, in front of their couch and before any of them could react, she snatched the seed from between Akeno tits. Only now the girls noticed that the rest of the room calmed down.
"S-sister?!"
"You two will hold the seed interchangeably" she announced with a serious face, ignoring Rias puzzled look. "If that does not work for you, then I'll take it."
Akeno smiled nervously, unsure if she was willing to argue and possibly upset the strongest queen, and find out other consequences of doing that. Kuroka on the other hand, seemed more confident – even if slightly uncertain – as she smiled mischievously and opened her mouth to speak up…
The seed grown tentacles.
"What…?" Grayfia barely got a chance to register what was happening, as the round object in her hand sprouted multiple appendages that wrapped around her hand, curled tightly and then rapidly uncurled, shooting out towards fallen angel hybrid.
With a plot, the seed landed back up into Akeno tits. Its tentacles started slowly retract itself back in the the smooth surface of the object.
"…that is not fair, nya~!" Kuroka pouted both angrily and cutely, leaning over the couch and using her finger to lower cleavage of her kimono. "Come on, big sis Kuroka has as good, if not better titties than Ms. Closet Pervert, nya~!"
The tentacle stopped retracting. Just one, but it then extended towards Kuroka, with something resembling a curiosity in its behavior. Black haired nekoshou actually smirked at that, feeling a sense of victory…
*SLAP! SLAP!*
"Nya?!"
Kuroka got slapped, or more accurately – her tits got slapped – twice in a row. From the left, from the right. They swung in sudden motion and she immediately backed off, covering them to stop their movement with a tiny blush and teary eyes.
After this, tentacles retracted completely.
"Not fair~!" Kuroka puffed her cheeks and pouted in annoyance, as turned around and walk back to her seat. On the way, she rubbed her palms to the sides of her breasts. "That… stung…"
Grayfia sighed – partially in annoyance, but also in relief – as she shrugged her shoulders. "Well, at least that's cleared…"
She also returned to her spot, leaving Akeno to herself… and to the tentacle seed between her boobs. She began dotting happily at its surface, poking it with a sense of victory – true one, unlike certain cat.
"Are we… certain it's safe?" asked Rias, now sitting a bit further away from her own queen. "I know the letter said it would fuck just one of us… but can we be sure, it won't move on to another person, after dealing with… well, you?"
"No… Or rather, I don't know" fallen angel queen responded with a gentle smile, which finished her sentence with 'and I don't care' expression. "Oh… Where did Rossweisse go?"
The Valkyrie was gone.
"She and Serafall… went for something stronger to drink." Gremory princess smiled a bit tensely at that, getting a curious look from her friend. "Well, Rossweisse decided to go when you and Kuroka started to argue… That's why Grayfia came over."
"Oh… I see."
She understood. Rossweisse would probably just hop together with Rias to calm them down, should that be just a normal argue… but they both wanted to get fucked by the monster that will hatch out of the seed, so it must have been too much for the prude woman.
"Ah, everything has settled, I see~ " called a joyful voice from the one of the doors around. "Akeno-chan is a winner then?"
Serafall came back, holding a crystal glass cup and bottle of red wine, with Rossweisse following right behind her… with a bottle of colorless liquid and a shot glass. Nearly everyone become visibly uneasy seeing this, remembering how much of a light drinker she was.
"Not exactly, but… it stays with Akeno." Grayfia looked past her former rival, at the white-haired woman, making a quick decision to speak up what was on her mind. "Rossweisse-san, I know you're under quite a bit of stress, but… I'm not sure if it's wise for you to drink that."
Hearing that, Serafall blinked a few times, then giggled nervously. "Ah… You know, I think it's a bit too late for that…"
"What?"
*HIC*
"…she took one BIG sip before we came back~ "
Grayfia looked once more at the Valkyrie, who's cheeks started to slowly turn red. Indeed, now that she knew it, she noticed that bottle was opened and drunk from. White-haired woman blinked in surprise, feeling multiple gazes focused on her, so she turned around and examined everyone around, forcing them to awkwardly turn away their eyes. Then she focused on strongest queen.
"Whaaat~?" she slurred, though still fairly coherently. "I'm gonna dhrink what I want… I'm already forced to whatch, sooo you're nhot taking that away from meee… Now, let's whatch this stooopid alchemist…"
"Ekhm… Alcumist, he wrote here to call him an alcumist." Azazel raised the letter and pointed with his finger the exact line. "I think you specifically don't want to upset him…"
"Or waht…?!"
"Do you really want to find out what ELSE he can send through the fissure?"
Rossweisse blinked in a surprise – clearly not even considering that possibility before – as she seemingly sobered up a little, even if for a moment. "No, thank you!"
"As I thought…"
"Don't be such a prude, Ross-chan~! You need to loosen up a bit" said Serafall, raising a toast with a glass of wine and bumping it to Valkyrie empty one. "Cheers~!"
The Norse woman blinked again, then looked at her own glass, as female devil took a sip of her drink. She quickly corrected her mistake and pour herself a shot of vodka, following the Maou action. "Cheers."
Azazel watched, as they moved down the stairs and head towards a different couch, between Rias group and Ophis with Vali, to have some stable surface for their drinks. Sona sighed with visible relies, while Rias and Akeno spread out a bit on the couch, using now freed space.
"Now, Azazel-chan, let's not waste the time~!" Serafall ordered joyfully, leaning backwards and crossing her legs in a relaxed position. "Hit the switch~!"
"I'm with Levia-tan!" Issei raised his fist in approval, getting annoyed gaze from Koneko behind him. "Let's continue!"
"Perv."
"Oh, give him a break, Shirone~!" Kuroka pampered her sister cheerfully, hugging her tightly, with her head landing in the valley of her tits. "So far it's has been so much fun~!"
"Perv sis."
While the chaotic exchange continued, most people seemed eager or at least interested in coming events. Irina seemed the most conflicted of them all – both fired up to see what will happened next… and worried what will happened next. Still, she found her resolve, slapped her cheeks with both hands to steel it and prepared for whatever would come.
Fallen Angel Governor chuckled at the commotion, but seeing everyone more or less focused and waited, he grabbed the controller and hit the switch. The fissure lighting up got the attention of everyone else, as the title showed up.
"Chapter 4 Surprised Buttsecks"
"The what?!" Irina leaned forwards in an outburst of a shock, almost rising from sitting to kneeling position in an instant. "Tell me, please… that this is NOT a typo, just something butt-related that I'm unaware of and not the…"
"…butt sex, again?" Xenovia finished her friends line, earning a confirming and a bit nervous nod. "I'd like to say it is something else, but… if so, it's nothing I know of. Maybe one of you…?"
"No."
"Noht sure which is whorse…"
"Honestly, do you really want to believe it's something else?"
Sona, Rossweisse and Azazel answered her question immediately, not giving much room to maneuver. Irina herself grabbed the side of her head in frustration, as she opened her mouth to sigh in annoyance…
"What does he want with a tiny pig?"
"And there is a pig?!" she called loud instead with wide eyes. "A pig?!"
"Yes. Pig, pork, swine… or bacon." Ophis looked towards angel with blank expression. "Choose the one you like more, useless angel."
Asia titled her head in confusion. "Bacon?"
"I'm not useless!"
"I have no clue, but his guard might not be down yet. We need to be careful to not get trapped again." Irina stated as she looked at Naruto carrying a baby pig. At this point, they knew that they should suspect something from him that would not end up quite right. Now they were on an official mission to capture Naruto again.
"That is… a cute little piggy." Asia giggled at the sight of the animal Naruto was holding. "I wonder what he plans on doing though…"
"Eat it?" Ophis asked bluntly, looking straight at the pink thing in the boy arms on the screen. She licked her lips. "Looks like a tasty bacon."
"Tasty?!" Asia yelled in shock. "This… little… one?"
Ophis turned her head and looked at the former nun with a questioning expression. "That's what bacon is, is it not? A pig. I had a grilled one once, was nice, though not as good as sweets."
"Well, yes… but…"
"You don't eat such a little one" Issei interrupted, seeing how Asia panicked and was unsure what to respond. "It's…"
"Actually, a lot of meats are much tastier when taken from a young animal" Sona butt into the talk, to the Red Dragon dismay. "Not sure about a piglet though…"
"S-Sona-san…"
Ophis seemed determined by what she heard. "I see. I should try it then. To be sure."
"C-could we please return to watching?" Asia called out, clearly overwhelmed by this conversation. She pouted at Dragon God. "And we're not eating any baby pigs."
"We are not?"
"No!"
9 days later, after they went to England to exterminate a rogue ghoul causing some trouble there, and their butts had fully recovered from the tentacles. They recovered from the tentacle thing after the first day, but they couldn't go after Naruto without it being a direct order. Their orders were very simple when it came to Naruto.
"9 days for an official mission…" Rias pondered on that, alongside her Queen. "Church really is not worried about him, are they?"
"Well, so far he didn't caused any damage…"
"You mean, other than our asses?" Xenovia interrupted Akeno words. "Cause that he did… and very likely will do again soon."
Fallen angel hybrid chuckled at that, soon joined by awkward giggle from blue-haired ex-exorcist… and angry pout by Irina. Indeed, other than some minor anal damage, he did not go directly against Church.
"Jokes aside, overall the worst he did was usage of unregistered magic in the land under Church jurisdiction" she stated, clearing her throat with a soft cough. "With maybe some dabbling in forbidden arts. Since none of those were directed against us, he was not a primary target."
"Maybe not, but our counterparts got an official mission on him, so either he did something we don't know yet – it was 9 days, apparently – or situation is stable enough for us to go after him" Irina explained in details. "Still, a pig…"
Chestnut-haired angle delved into her own thoughts, as something was still plaguing her mind concerning the tiny pinkish piglet. They allowed her to think uninterrupted.
They were to go after Naruto, but only when they didn't have another mission to take care of, and they weren't allowed to use lethal force against Naruto since what he was doing wasn't lethal. There had also yet to be any victims of his cross-breeding experiments with tentacle plants, and Naruto had yet to complete a tentacle plant hybrid that lasted more than a few hours in its activated state.
"…well, literally what we spoke about…"
"Must say though" Sirzechs began, "to experiment with mutating tentacles, yet have zero casualties… it takes quite a lot of work and preparation to have such results."
"Or it could be, because he has problems keeping them alive" Grayfia retorted quickly. "Though he seemed to improve…"
Strongest Queen could not stop herself from peeking at the seed between Akeno boobs. The girl was patting it from time to time, at irregular patters, but for most part, seemed to almost forgot it was there at all.
"Little piggy, you're going to be a big piggy one day. Glad I spent all that money to get you." Naruto chanted to himself as he sang. He managed to find the perfectly bred pig for his experiment, he went to farm after farm to find a white pig with no spots or any other colors. "An American Yorkshire, it HAD to be that or it just wouldn't work." Naruto hummed as he fed the pig he was holding under his arm carrots.
The pig was very small due to its young age.
"Wait, he spend ALL of his money on the little guy?" Issei crossed arms on his chest when the realization hit him. "Huh… The commitment of this guy…!"
"He seems to be in a pretty good mood though." Yuuto pointed out, arms crossed as well in unanimous gesture. "Though what kind of experiment requires an American Yorkshire of a perfect skin color?"
"Do… Do we really want to know?" Gasper joined the duo in their pose, asking the true question. "You know how his experiments tend to be…"
Issei looked at Gasper as if he was possessed. "Bruh, of course we want to know!"
"Speak for yourself…" Irina sighed heavily at that, her eyes focused on the screen.
Slung over his shoulder and tied to his neck was a list of ingredients that he had... borrowed of course from the local Mage School. They didn't need to know if some of their magical ingredients went missing, and he was sure that he might pay them back for it... some day.
A short moment of silence fall upon the audience.
"He's… a bad boy." Asia could not muster any other description, as she smiled nervously.
"Honestly, I'm surprised no mage is going after him." Xenovia rubbed the base of her nose in disbelief. "Or joining with our counterparts… Even if he will return it, lack of proper ingredients must be problematic for the mages."
"You have no idea" said Azazel.
Irina tilted her head, wondering. "Will he return those ingredients though?"
Maybe.
"Oh…"
Okay, he wasn't going to return anything he borrowed, because it was REALLY hard to get Boomslang venom. He didn't fuck with snakes if he could help it, so he usually had to use what little money he had to get somebody else to do it for him. He was better at dealing with Toads and Slugs, other common magical ingredients, than he was with Snakes.
"…I mean, I can get behind THAT."
"WHAT?!"
Everyone, literally everyone turned their heads towards Irina. Of all people there, no one expected her to say that.
"Irina, could you… repeat?" Xenovia had to ask her to say this once more, it was that unreal. "You… can get behind him taking… mages supplies?"
"No!" she retorted, clearly agitated at the assumption. "Behind him taking that venom from them and not dealing with snakes, yes! You know how chaotically those things can slither? Would rather deal with toads and slugs, than with venomous snakes!"
"Some of the toads and slugs have toxins more potent, than snakes venom could, even in large amounts." Azazel revealed a bit of encyclopedic knowledge. "Plus, slugs and toads are not exactly… aesthetic, from the lack of better word."
"I'd still rather deal with them being slimy and gross, than with snake bites…" Irina kept her conviction strong, despite all of the counterarguments.
"Oink oink."
"Cute."
"I could call you... Pork... your name is now Pork." Naruto grinned at his own funny name. The name had been chosen for a multitude of reasons. "Let's see what we can do, I'm pretty sure I've got everything the notes said I needed... though the potion does need some modifications. Meh, I'm sure I can use cherry pits instead of grape seeds." Naruto hadn't been able to get what he needed there, but he was sure he found a good substitute.
"I would call him Bacon… but Pork works too."
Asia face flushed red. "O-Ophis-san!"
Again, everybody turned their heads in disbelief – this time towards Ophis. This loli dragon was determined for a piece of meat and seemed willing to go right now to get one.
"You know, we do have a kitchen here" Azazel pointed out warily. "You could get a bacon, if you would like…"
"A small one?"
"No."
"Then no…" She immediately stopped paying attention to him, focused back on the screen and the pig. A bit of droll started oozing from her lips. "Ok, later."
Fallen angel sighed with a relief, seemed like she would not cause troubles… for now. Addition of the kitchen and more importantly, large storeroom for all kind of foods, seemed to really start paying off. Though now he had a feeling they would need to be resupplied – sweets first. And bacon.
Naruto entered a house.
Kiba furrow his brow. "Wait, he has a house there?"
"No, I don't think so…"
Yes, a house, since the current residents were away on vacation, he took the time to set up his base in the house. He would put it back the way he found it when he left for sure, and they would be back in 4 days, so he had more than enough time to do at least 1 or 2 different experiments with his Pork, and hopefully he would be able to finish what he planned on working on.
Sona sighed in resignation, rubbing the base of her nose. "Ok, that's just an illegal intrusion."
"Hey, he said he would leave everything intact" Issei argued for his fellow pervert. "So… no problem!"
Sitri heiress gave him a long and emotionless glare, so piercing, he actually froze in place. "He says that, but what if he'll blow it up? You never know with alchemy…"
Issei wanted to raise a finger in counterargument, but stopped before even really got a chance. That was… good argument.
"…especially when he'll be improvising like that!" she pointed out Naruto comment about substituting one of the ingredients.
"He seems doing it all the time" Akeno made a counterpoint to Sona argument. "Quite effectively at that."
"Yes, but it was usually done in some safe or remote location" she responded, crossing arms on her small chest. "Not in 'borrowed' building, a living house on top of that, that can be destroyed in accidental explosion or infested with some kind of creatures."
"Sona, we're constantly faced with property damage during…"
"Rias, we are high-class devils" Sona interrupted her friend, looking at her with resignation. She seemed to forgot a crucial detail in her way of thinking. "We have more money than many human multi-billionaires, plus magic, so fixing a property damage is not a problem to us… He's not us!"
The potion base should be about ready.
"Oh great, so he started preparations beforehand…"
Serafall just giggled at her sisters antics, leaning back a little and taking a sip of her wine. Of all people there, she was probably the one who enjoyed the chaos of this pervy alchemist the most.
"Oh! Better set up my defenses, don't want anyone interrupting me." Naruto tossed a couple of sets around the front yard, and he took out a potion and started to spray it around the grass. With that done, he entered the house. "I should NOT forget to collect those when I leave." Naruto stated as close to 100 tiny flower buds started to grow out of the grass.
"Why I have a bad feeling about it?" Irina lamented, with her hands curled up together. "Those are not hiding, so we should be able to get pass them… Right, Xenovia?"
"They do seem a bit familiar…" Blue-haired ex-exorcist smiled nervously, but raised a closed fist in self-encouragement nonetheless. "Y-yeah, I think we'll be fine… I hope…"
They knew it all too well… they were fucked.
With the door closed behind him, Naruto went towards the kitchen where he had a potion boiling over the electric stove. Putting Pork in a box he couldn't get out of, Naruto started to unpack his ingredients that he would be using.
"Kitchen, ingredients, boiling… and Bacon cannot escape." Ophis listed out, with something akin to a smile on her face. Well, her eyes were sparkling and that's all, but that gave off a 'smiling' expression. "Let him cook."
Issei and some other members of Rias peerage snickered at that, but Asia was not having it. The cute yet angry pout on her face showed she rejected Dragon God claim with her whole heart.
"He's not cooking Pork!"
Ophis just rolled her eyes and Vali has raised an eyebrow at that, seemingly the only one who noticed – she just pulled out a joke, intentionally.
The potion was clear and bubbling.
Good.
"Not good!" Irina responded with a clear desperation in her voice, in her eyes and on her face. "That's absolutely not good! Not for us!"
-Outside-
"I gueeas… that's where our two exourcissto friends enter the staaage… Hic~!" Rosswiesse slurred and raised joyfully her glass. Already empty. "Go gurls~!"
Everyone around was forced to sighed in annoyance, but partially also in relief – so far, she was not violent in her tipsy mumbling. The only one who cheered with her was Serafall.
"Okay Xenovia, I saw him throw something across the ground... we should be careful and watch out step." Irina drew her sword and prepared for a fight. She looked across the yard and she saw nearly 100 flowers with pink and purple petals, and the center of the flower seemed to be more eyeball shaped in appearance.
"Yes, me!" Irina cheered her counterpart, throwing hands in the air. "Noticing them right away, nice!"
Vali rolled his eyes. "Cause it's really hard to notice a whole field of eyeball flowers…"
Chestnut-haired angel send him annoyed glare, though he didn't seemed to bother even responding. Judging by gazes of few others, including Issei, he was not the only one who wanted to point that out, he was just the quickest.
It even blinked when it looked at her.
"They are… quite creepy" said certain blue-haired ex-exorcist.
"Irina... don't... move." Xenovia stated when she noticed it to, and she raised her sword up. "These are the same type of tentacle as at the beach... just smaller." Xenovia whispered as the hundred flower eyes started to look towards her and Irina.
Both Irina and Xenovia shivered at the sight. Even though it wasn't them, but their counterparts being eyed, they could still understand the feeling of hundred monstrous gazes. Every girl in the room could understand the uneasiness of this situation…
"This would make a really good setup for my next special~ "
…aside from Serafall…
"My, my… Being watched by so many eyes filled with want…"
…or Akeno…
"That could be fun, nya~!"
…or Kuroka.
Irina's ass clenched tight.
Irina sighed and covered her eyes, both in disbelief at girls commentary… and embarrassment from the focus on her subtle movement, displayed on the screen.
'God, this is embarrassing…'
"Can we fail this mission?" Irina pleaded with Xenovia, since she was not really looking forward to the idea of getting surprise anal again. Her butt might not hurt anymore, but she was still pretty butthurt about what happened on the beach. It was super humiliating for her and Xenovia to empty themselves out of tentacle goo on the beach before they were forced to take a cab back to the church.
They were NOT in a condition to walk straight after that night.
Female angel nodded her head frantically in agreement with her counterpart. She was just as determined as her to get a payback on Naruto, but provided with the details on the aftermath of their previous encounter…
… she was absolutely willing to just fuck off from there.
"This is… ugh." Xenovia pressed and rubbed the base of her nose in annoyance. Failing the mission was a one thing – during her Church days it was a stain on her pride – but facing such a humiliation was another level. "At least no one was there…"
"Hey, at least it's not that gross" Issei had, he just had, to add his two cents.
"How is it not?!" Irina shouted back at him, her face bright red. "Our asses were pumped full with tentacle cum, God knows how deep it went, with us forced to scoop it out!"
Asia actually turned bright red at the wordy description her friend put out, even Rias and Sona blushed a bit in response. Issei however didn't seemed moved by that, but he did raised an eyebrow in surprise, though not exactly because of her rant…
"You know… You should calm down a bit…" he stated, scratching the back of his head nervously, while eyeing the anomaly he and other noticed. "They are… not supposed to act like that, right?"
Thrown out of her anger tantrum, Irina blinked in confusion herself. The realization hit her hard, as confusion visible on her face slowly turned into worry. She ignored the flickering lights at first, but Issei comment and worried looks on the other two members of the Church Trio made her recognize its source.
Her own halo and wings.
They started to flicker and blacken for a moment, from sheer amount of wrath she felt. Justified anger would not cause this, but swelling up inside of her, it started turning into a rage, and that was not good. Now that she was aware of that, however, she would quickly fix that… probably.
Waiting no longer, she shifted onto her knees in kneeling position and joined her hands in prayer. In silence, left with her own thoughts, she slowly began calming down: her breath slowed and deepened, subtle muscle twitches ceased and eventually, her halo and wings stabilized.
Issei raised an eyebrow in surprise. "That was… quicker than expected."
Sure, it took a moment, but Irina seemed to completely calmed down. She was still on her knees, eyes closed, likely finishing her prayer.
"Meditation is probably the most effective way of calming yourself" said Azazel. "Prayer, a proper and personal prayer, effectively is a meditation between you and God. For someone like Irina, with such a strong faith, closing to zealously, prayer may be even more effective than meditation, purely because of the fact it relies on interaction with higher force."
Red Dragon Emperor crossed arms on his chest. "Huh… You really know a lot on the topic…"
"Duh, I was once an angel of high order, in case you forgot?"
In a minute or so, Irina has finished. She raised slightly from her knees, then fall backwards into a sitting position. There was a cute and bright smile on her face.
"We can continue~!"
"No, we can't retreat. As long as we don't get caught, we will be fine. Careful, be careful and don't make any sudden movements or loud noises." Xenovia knew that it was the fighting and loud noises of the fight with the stray devil that had woke up the Tentacle Plant last time. These ones were smaller…
"So, they react only to movement and sound…" Azazel began pondering over the flower-tentacles. "They do not have anything resembling an ear, so either it's hidden, or they really react to vibration of the air from voices, in which case they would have pretty scary senses…"
"Or they were mutated to sense only vibration from human noises" Sirzechs put out his own theory on plants. "As for sudden movement, could be self-defense or alert mechanism, basing on assumption that any instant movement could be hostile action."
"That is a possibility, yes…"
Rias deadpanned at the sight of her brother engaging Azazel in the nerd talk. He did not had as much knowledge on the matter of magical creatures as fallen angel, but it was still substantial, even if general grasp of the subject.
"One could make a wrong assumption, that your brother is a pervert, having such a knowledge on tentacle-based creatures" Akeno could not stop herself from teasing her friend and King.
"Please, cease!" Rias commanded with a sigh. "Besides, it's just general knowledge on the creatures, not purely tentacles."
Her queen pouted in response. "You're no fun…"
A couple of smaller tentacles started to come out of the ground like slithering snakes, and for the girls with recent experience with this type of tentacle, they were just as menacing as snakes. The tentacles smoothly moved over Xenovia's foot and poked her ankle, as if it was testing her out and tasting her. Another tentacle rose into the air and poked her boob through her clothes, before yet another one poked her face.
"Eee! They really are like snakes!"
So much was for Irina inner peace. Her face twisted into a grimace of pure discomfort, as she witnessed tentacles checking out their counterparts.
"So, they did not payed attention to her breasts, crotch or skin itself…" Sona muttered under her nose, analyzing the perverted creation on her own. "Then they really seem to react only to potential dangers…"
Xenovia stayed completely still.
"…and cease of movement only grounds this theory."
She kept her mouth shut, she did her best not to jump at the touches or be startled, and kept her breathing through her nose. She fought the urge to attack the tentacle, because she had learned from the last time.
Xenovia mimicked her counterpart action, out of pure suspense rather than actual reason, but she could feel, or rather understand the tension. Irina was the same, mixed with some additional uneasiness.
This type of tentacle reacted to sounds and harsh movement.
"So, just as we suspected." Sona smiled in satisfaction, while Azazel and Sirzechs seemed content with clarification of the tentacle properties alone. "Pretty simple creatures, to be honest…"
"Simplicity is sometimes a very good asset, Sitri princess."
Watching this, a thought came to Issei, as he crossed arms on his chest . "You know… wouldn't it be more productive if we wait for an explanation, instead of talking it out? We can always talk it out afterwards, if we won't get one, but that's like… a second time we get one, after quite a long unnecessary discussion."
Azazel raised his hand to that, however, not in agreement. "But you see, Ise, discussion itself is the fun part."
"Eh?"
"What really matters, is the theorizing and the thrill from getting it right" added Sirzechs.
"Eh?"
"Besides," Sona decided to add her own two cents to the argument, "it's also a great test of your perception and ability to spot small details."
"Eeeeeh?"
'When me and Irina stopped moving, it wasn't long before the larger version of this thing stopped and let us go, before it died off. These things woke up due to our movements and voices, but they aren't sure if it should attack us yet.' Xenovia thought as the tentacles on her ankle and foot moved back and went under ground. The tentacles licking at her breast and face retreated as well, and she glanced over to Irina.
"Doing pretty good, nya~!" said Kuroka, basing her chin on joined hands. "I would probably not hold out any purrs from that."
"Why?" Xenovia asked, raising an eyebrow in slight surprise. "It appears to be annoying and ticklish, but does not seem extremely hard to endure."
"No, no, you misunderstood" she responded with a smirk and slight blush, licking her finger in a swift motion. "It's not that I would be unable to hold out my voice, I would very likely not even try to hold it, nya."
"Perv."
"Oh, come now, Shirone." Black cat teased her little sister, poking cutely at her cheek. "We nekomata are very sexual race by nature, it's simply in us. No harm done in a little fun, so why should either of us even try to hold out in such situation?"
Koneko cheeks tinted pink at the insinuation. "You're still a perv."
"I wonder who's a pervert here?" Akeno teased her younger friend, covering her smile with fingers.
"You all are!"
She let out the breath she was holding.
"Careful, no one knows how sensitive they are" said Yuuto, his eyes fixed on the screen, analyzing. "Even too sharp breathing may alert them."
"Uuuuuuuuh... uuuuuuuh..." Irina made moaning noises as she tried to hold back her urge to shout out at the unpleasantness of what she was experiencing. Not because the feeling was bad, the feeling itself was quite pleasurable. The way the tentacle moved and wrapped around her boob, and squeezed it as it tested out if she was a person or not, the way it wrapped up her leg, and the way that the tip poked her lips.
"Well, if so, we're already busted."
Irina blushed, clenched her legs tight and looked down in shame. That was her reaction to what she saw on screen, Xenovia remark just added fuel to the fire.
"Don't be so hard on her" Akeno exclaimed in defense of Irina. "The way it curls around, squeezes and pokes… I'm a bit jealous, you know?"
"I'm not exactly happy about it!" she responded quite perplexed. "Neither is the other me!"
Xenovia glared at her to stop making noises, since more tentacles were being attracted to Irina thanks to the noises she was making.
Akeno gave Irina on the screen a long glare, then turned to the one in the room. "You know that does not sound like unhappy noises, right?"
"I know…" Reincarnated angel hide the face in her own hands.
"In her defense," Rias butted in, "it's not exactly 'I'm happy' reaction, more of a 'It feels too good'."
"Exactly, nya~!"
"Cannot disagree, but…" Sona pointed towards Irina, who just curled into a ball, still covering her face. "You're not helping, Rias."
"Sorry…"
She got closer to Irina, and put her hand over her mouth to silence her. She pointed at the tentacles on the ground that started to close their eyes, since their eyes weren't that great and they relied more on movement and sound. It seemed their eyes could only be used to see something that was super close to them.
"Thel are blindo?!" Rossweisse suddenly shouted in drunken disbelief. "That explains why thel are so perverted… Thel compensating!"
"Ross-chan, I don't think that can even be counted as compensating." Even Serafall, slightly tipsy, had to smiled awkwardly at Rossweisse statement.
But Valkyrie just looked at the Leviathan angrily. "It cannn!"
The rest didn't even bothered to argue with the drunkard – they just rolled their eyes, smiled awkwardly and re-focused on the screen.
"Near blindness though explains why their other senses are so sharpened" Sona pointed out. "I wonder if that was intentional design or not?"
"Won't be surprised either way" Azazel stated, turning his head towards blue-haired ex-exorcist and smiling, with a thumb up. "Quick thinking with silencing her. Good job!"
Xenovia returned the gesture with sort of a satisfaction. "Thank you!"
Irina's small noises were not helping.
"That's not my fault…" she whimpered in shame. Asia could not help and patted her on the head, trying to comfort her. "Asia-chan~!"
"Woah~!" blonde girl actually reeled back in surprise, when Irina suddenly hugged her. But then, she just continue patting her head. "It's okay… It's okay…"
It took another 20 minutes before the tentacles all went to sleep and Xenovia let go of a sweating Irina, who had been put under a lot of touching from the tentacles.
"See? It's over now." Asia pointed at the screen and Irina raised her head, her eyes almost sparkling.
"Really?"
"Thank God that is over and the tentacles are asleep."
"…oh no…"
...
"I hate you." Xenovia stated as all of the flowers had their eyes snap open and focus on them. Irina had spoken in much more than a whisper. She made a break for front door, before she was blocked by a wall of tentacles that predicted her movements. She sliced through them like butter with her sword, and jumped back when a group of three tentacles came out from the ground and reached for her foot.
"I'm so sorry!"
Xenovia rubbed the base of her nose in frustration. Irina has turned to her with pleading eyes, apologizing in place of her counterpart. She couldn't even be truly angry at her, she got used to her friend antics and trouble she kept getting herself into overtime… but from time to time, she did wondered, how can anyone be so oblivious?
Heat of the moment, she guessed, but that argument wasn't really doing a favor for Irina repeating mistakes. There was this tentacle incident, her buying a fake saint portrait…
Okay, the tentacles were now fully aware they were there, and being silent wouldn't stop them from being butt-fucked this time.
"Yup, gonna sting again!" Serafall cheered for the girls asses, with a tiny tipsy blush on her cheeks. "Especially with how deep tentacles can go… Those are quite small, but there are so many…"
Rossweisse turned to Leviathan with angry, drunk expression. "Huh… How wouldja known tentaclies sting, huh!? HUH!?"
Serafall looked at drunken Valkyrie, blinked a few times, then turned her head back to the screen and took another sip of the wine. She completely ignored further accusation from white-haired woman, yet… every other girl in the room looked at the female Maou with embarrassed blushes, their hands instinctively moving to their own backs.
Sona, repeating the same motion, turned a deep red color. Her sister said nothing, yet that silence was an answer on its own.
"Sorry! I hate these things so much, and I'm not used to being silent!" Irina shouted out very loudly as she hacked at the tentacles. More came out of the ground around her than Xenovia, and the blue haired girl blinked.
"Honestly… I think I would prefer you paralyzed in fear in this situation." Xenovia sighed and rubbed her forehead. Her twin-tailed friend did not responded, she just covered her face and mumbled incoherently.
*Spurt*
"Those things can cum on the spot?"
"Okay, these ones shoot fluid, be careful, they aren't exactly like the one at the beach." Xenovia dodged a glob of fluid that went flying at her. The tentacles shot the fluid from the holes at the tip of each tentacle, and she used the side of her sword to fling the fluid away from her where she couldn't dodge it.
"Wait, so it's not cum?" Issei tilted his head in confusion.
Koneko tilted her head aswell, looking at the pervert, then focusing at the discussed fluid. "Looks slightly different… Why were you so focused on that?"
"Not on the sperm, on the tentacles" he corrected her train of thoughts, before it would diverge into wrong territory. "They the basic of the basics of hentai, I need to understand how these work, even if just a little."
"Ah, I see… Perv."
The fluid landed, that she flung at least, on Irina's arm.
"Why it's always me?!"
Her gloves started to melt away where the fluid touched, leaving her skin unharmed. She reached out and wiped the fluid off, but managed to melt away the glove that touched the fluid to wipe it as well.
"It melts CLOTHES!?"
Girls, with Irina in the lead and few exceptions, covered themselves with their hands.
"Classic." Azazel smiled, with a very satisfied expression, mixed with a bit of nostalgia. "Clothes melting fluid, an optional addition to tentacles, but a very welcome one."
"I would say slime of the same properties would be more fitting, but tentacles are not bad either" saying that, Issei crossed arms on his chest. "Actually, I think slimes would fit better… They are transparent, so you can see every detail afterwards, not even mentioning the remaining glimmer."
"Not a bad choice, but I'd like to differ." Fallen angel raised a finger to emphasize his argument. "Tentacles can melt the clothes just as well, but they can also rip them apart, which gives you a choice of what kind of show you want. Plus, there is also the exotic sight of girl squirming while they envelop around her body, her breasts and legs…"
"That is a good point as well… however, slime should be able to easily fill girl and hit all right spots…"
"Ah, that is a good one as well!"
Sona looked between Red Dragon Emperor and leader of fallen angels with disbelief, her own arms covering her chest. "So it's fine if ero-nerds talk, but not us, theorizers?"
Issei ignored her.
"Common, So-chan!" Serafall laughed cutely, filling her glass again. "Theories or erotic talk, they both are fun~!"
"Not my point… Forget it, let's just continue."
"No, I think it melts anything that isn't a living person." Xenovia corrected when she saw the fluid also melt the grass on the ground. It was the same fluid that the tentacle at the beach shot... well, inside of their rear ends. "...Okay, so these really are just mini-versions of the beach tentacle monster." Xenovia realized.
Azazel actually whistled, clearly impressed by what he just saw. "Not bad. Fluid that dissolves just nonorganic matter is one thing, but making a substance that is acidic to everything but living humanoid matter is far more complicated… I will need to think on it in the meantime."
"GAH! It got me!"
"Not again!"
"I'm coming Irina-"
"LALALALALA! Don't do that, don't come over here! Complete the mission, I'm going to keep it distracted by making a lot of noise! It won't be able to penetrate my butt if I clench hard enough will-" Irina started to scream at the top of her lungs to attract the tentacles to her and not Xenovia. The louder she was, the less likely they would be to target her partner after all. If past experience taught her anything, the tentacles were very simple creatures.
Irina was fuming, with her face bright red. She was biting down on her lips, while keeping her clenched hands on her knees. Yet another humiliating scene for her – it was a noble sacrifice indeed, giving Xenovia a chance to pursue their target further… but that didn't made it any less shameful.
The rest of Church trio must have felt the same – Asia was covering her lips with one hand, blushing a bit, while looking between the screen and the angel girl, while Xenovia closed her eyes and gave her an understanding nod.
But blue haired Knight wasn't the only one who acknowledged Irina sacrifice. Sona and Rias in particular seemed to appreciate the tactical advantage she gave her friend.
"Are you sure you are not into this?" Ophis just had to ask.
"I'm not!"
Dragon God titled her head. "Not sure, or not into it?"
In reality, Irina no longer had any strength or resolve to argue with sassy dragon loli. She just send her an exhausted look and surprisingly, it seemed enough, as black-haired dragon returned to her snacks.
Butt clenching didn't help her.
"R.I.P your ass~!" Serafall raised a toast saying that, giggling at her own stupid joke.
She completely ignored all the deadpanned looks she received for that – Irina gaze was most intense one, despite her exhaustion, but she could also feel the daggers from Sona and Koneko eyes.
Although drunken Rossweisse seemed to enjoy the joke just as much as Leviathan, giggling to herself. Issei seemed amused by it himself as well, but even Azazel and Crimson Maou snickered under their noses. Vali himself had to hide a tiny smirk by looking the other direction.
Xenovia closed her eyes and looked away when Irina's face became completely deadpan when she got 4 inches of tentacle directly up her butt. She stopped what she was saying in the middle of her sentence from the sheer shock of it.
'Your sacrifice won't go in vain, my dear partner.' Xenovia turned away from Irina.
"I fucking hope it won't!" Irina nearly shouted in a mixture of anger and humiliation, with tears gathering at the edges of her eyes. "My poor ass… and other me was so certain she got it…"
"Duh? What did you expect would happen?" Koneko emotionless remark was a nail in the coffin of the angel girl depression. "They are all slimy and slippery, not to mention they're small, or the fact the other you already got probed. No amount of butt clenching would help there."
"-GET OUT OF THERE! Xenovia, this feels weird, I change my mind, save me! This feels really weird, and it's moving a LOT inside of my butt! XENOVIA, it's pumping goo up my butt! It feels really weird, and REALLY good, and I don't like the fact it feels good! No, NO, stay out of my-"
"You are pretty useless, aren't you?" Ophis turned her head back towards Irina. "And you DO seem to enjoy this."
Irina inhaled air sharply and immediately turned around, diving head first into the pillows, her hands encircling the one closest to her and using it to muffle her cry of frustration. "Mmmmmm~!"
Asia and Xenovia smiled awkwardly, blushing, but still feeling for Irina. The blond girl leaned towards her angel friend and pat her on the head, hoping to comfort her even if just a bit.
Irina's mouth got plugged by the time Xenovia got to the front door and opened it up, and she turned around to face Irina again and gave her a salute to honor her. With her hand over her heart, she bowed to her fallen partner.
"She did honored your resolve and did as you asked" Yuuto spoke up, scratching his chin. "Well, before you gave in… I heard you can develop resistance to pain, yet not for pleasure, but to see it first handedly…"
Azazel smiled, his experimental side stricken by swordsman words. "Pretty intriguing, right?"
"I think 'informative' is a better word for that" Kiba responded, with a mixture of awkward smile and apologizing look.
"Nah, it is pretty intriguing" Issei agreed with fallen angels governor, sending him a thumb up.
Koneko deadpanned. "Of course it is, perv."
-Inside (with Naruto)-
Rias clasped her hands at that, leaning forwards. "Now this is going to be interesting…"
"Pork's pig blood, freshly taken and mixed together with crushed butterfly, crushed butterfly that was caught during the night of a new moon and dried under the hot sun." Naruto had taken blood from Pork the Pig, and he put it into the potion. He followed up by putting the crushed remains of the butterfly in it as well. "Okay... it says here... not to stir and let it sit and boil, while I add frozen cubes of lemon juice." Naruto went to the fridge and got his frozen cubes of lemon juice out, and started to add them to the potion.
"…or not so much."
"Oh, on the contrary." Now Sona leaned forward, covering her mouth with entwined hands in deep thought. "This is actually compelling. The recipe itself tells me little, but this must be one of his parents experiments… or a modification of one."
"Pork himself may be a key part of this." Azazel pointed out. "Adding his own fresh blood will make the mixture much more reactive with him and…"
"He may just need fresh blood itself" Sona interrupted fallen angel theory. "Pigs DNA is surprisingly compatible with humans, so the mixture may be for them."
"Nah, I don't think so… although…" Azazel smirked at Sitri heiress. "Want to bet on it?"
Serafall stood up at that, pointing her finger at the man. "Hey, do not corrupt So-chan in my presence, or else…"
"Bring it on."
"So-chan?!"
"Now we're talking!" Azazel rubbed his hands in excitement. "Cash or something else?"
"What's the point of cash?" Sona brought up a very important matter, since for an heiress of Sitri clan even large sums of money seemed like nothing. Investments in advanced medical care were very profitable, even in devil society. "Unless you want to bet equivalent of Japan yearly income?"
"If I want to risk bankrupting Grigori, sure…" Azazel laughed to himself nervously, but quickly shake his head in denial. "How about… a favor?"
Sona touched her chin in thought. "What kind of favor?"
"Why, any!" Fallen angel exclaimed while spreading his arms, to visualize the vast possibilities. "Winner can ask loser for anything… as long as the other side can provide, of course."
Sitri heiress looked at the man, then down at the floor in though. The possibilities really were vast, with some that could benefit her goals greatly, but the repercussions of losing were high as well. Finally she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and nodded. "Deal."
"Great! Now, let's see if we get the…"
"I bet my serpent for him planning to make Bacon more tasty!" Ophis butt in into their bet with one of her own. She was salivating, but quickly wiped her mouth. "It's clearly a way to add flavor."
Both Azazel and Sona looked towards dragon loli with wide eyes, as the whole room fell silent. Even Vali raised an eyebrow. The whole deal, which started as a joke, has suddenly become much more serious and the other contestants truly understood that.
Azazel smiled and rubbed his hands in scientific excitement, while Sona eyes sparkled in interest, as her possibilities suddenly skyrocketed. Snake was already in the hands of one of them, they were at least certain about that, and each of them was certain they will be the one who's right.
"Well, that got serious for no reason." Azazel chucked and pointed the controller at the fissure. "Let's see then who claims the prize…"
The front door slammed shut.
...
"Oink!"
"Oink indeed, Pork-chan~!" Serafall joyfully called out to the piggy. "Beware, a crazy bluenette with a giant kitchen knife is coming~!"
Xenovia blushed. She actually blushed, as her eyes shifted towards the Leviathan. Calling her crazy was one thing, but to insult holy blade of Durandal like that… her counterpart didn't even brought it with her, for fuck sake!
"Now that you mention it, it kind-off resembles a very large kitchen knife."
Former blue-haired exorcist turned her gaze around and focused on Asia, with a disbelief in her eyes. Blonde ex-nun has clasped her hands happily at noticing this small similarity.
Xenovia just sighed, not having a heart to feel offended by that remark.
"You know, knowing that resemblance in design, the 'cutting like through a butter' saying makes much more sense for Durandal" Irina whispered to Xenovia, leaning on her side with a smile.
"…fuck you."
"What?! Why?!"
"Yep, that is not good for me... I'm not good at memory altering magic, I really hope that it isn't the home owners... and the potion is a greenish grey. It needs to be a greyish green, okay, so I can't exchange grape seeds for cherry pits." Naruto scratched his head when he realized that the color was slightly off.
There was a major difference between Greyish Green and Greenish Grey when it came to magic.
"In a way, he's lucky… I guess?" Issei rubbed the back of his head, unsure if intruder case was really fortunate for Naruto. "But is a small difference in color really that big of a problem?"
"Small difference?" Sona adjusted her glasses hearing that. "Aside from the fact that those two are completely different colors, in magic concoctions such deviation means the effects may be completely unpredictable."
Asia tilted her head curiously. "Can't it be just fixed with adding ingredients to change color further?"
"No, God no!" Azazel responded with a laugh, waving his hand dismissively. "Color itself is just an ascetic, but it indicates the effect of combined ingredients… if you're following recipe or just your own schematic. Adding more can completely twist the end result or ruin the potion entirely."
"Naruto Uzumaki!"
Hearing her own voice, Xenovia leaned forward, knowing what is coming. She ignored Irina complains about her small outburst at her.
"Oh! It's Xenovia, thank god for small miracles, am I right Pork?" Naruto asked his experiment pig, who oinked out a response. "Hey, where is Irina?" Naruto tilted his head in confusion. He knew for a fact that the two girls were partners for missions, always. You wouldn't see one without the other. "...Did she..."
"No, she didn't die, but she is in the front yard being brutally fucked in the butt by those tentacle monsters-"
"Thank you for reminding me of that!" the girl in question yelled out, embarrassed. "For what sins did I deserved this?"
Ophis deadpanned at her. "Lust, obviously."
"Aaaaa!"
In spite of Irina losing her temper (and mind), Rias took a long glance at image of Naruto. She tilted her head in thought.
"Didn't he seemed a bit… worried there?" she wondered out loud. "They are going after him, yet he still cares…"
"They are free and more importantly, very willing test subject." Akeno responded with a soft giggle, her hand caressing the egg between her breasts. "If you ask me, of course."
"Of course…"
Redhead was thankful their talk was relatively quiet and far enough, that neither her stubborn Knight or angel girl heard them. She could easily picture their infuriation at mention of being a 'willing' subjects.
"Oh shit, they actually work!? That's awesome, I mean that kind of sucks for Irina, but my Tentacle Security System actually works!?" Naruto celebrated by jumping in the air. He had gone back to the beach to collect samples of his tentacle monster to make miniature clones of it, and he had not been able to test it yet. "Okay, you've got to tell me... did she seem like she was in pain, because I trained those tentacles to go after butts only. I put it into its DNA to target butts, because they are designed to humiliate people." Naruto sat down and questioned Xenovia.
Naruto was completely relaxed.
"So you're telling me… he's completely at ease, wasn't even sure that would work… yet it still managed to stop you?!" Issei could not hold it and burst out laughing, actually curling down and holding his stomach. "Ha, ha, ha~! Good job~!"
Irina blushed, immediately looking down and avoiding eye contact with anyone. She could feel their eyes on her, and after hearing it so bluntly, even she had to admit it was pretty humiliating failure… especially since it was her own counterpart fault.
Asia pouted at Issei, but she also pouted looking at the screen. First, for Issei being so blunt about her friends defeat, second, for Naruto deliberate tentacle design.
"Still… Is it possible to put such command into the DNA?" Kiba asked the truly intriguing question. "Seems kind of… ridiculous."
"Living organism is basically a flesh machine – the less conscious it is, the more it relies on instincts and genetic behavior" Sona stated bluntly. "Even normal animals can have some pretty weird things coded into their DNA, developed during evolution and sometimes no longer needed for survival."
"So tentacles, being one of the most primitive life organism, acts completely on instincts alone, so is quite susceptible for any kind of genetic modifications" Azazel finished Sitri reasoning, having more practical experience on the matter. "You never wondered why so many alchemists experiment with tentacle plants? They are the easiest to modify."
Yuuto nodded his head in understanding.
Koneko on the other hand curiously tilted her head slightly. "This is comedic show of perverted adventure… Yet here I am, learning something interesting."
Hearing those words from the stoic cat girl, Issei excitement lit up and he immediately turned his head, giving her a thumb up. "Great, right?"
"Not thanks to you, perv."
His excitement was just as quickly put out.
Xenovia shook her head.
"No, she was shouting out it felt good, but very weird. And that..." Xenovia paused when she realized that Naruto's relaxed state had put her into a relaxed state as well. She quickly raised her sword and pointed it at Naruto. "-no, this is a serious matter. You need to stop making these freaky potions and monsters, and put your talents to use for the church already. You could be helping us do God's work." Xenovia rushed across the kitchen.
"But that would be soooo boring~!" Serafall exclaimed joyfully, raising an entire bottle of her wine. "All those regulations and rules, permits and restrictions… Sometimes you need a bit of good ol' chaos! Am I right, Ross-chan? Ross-chan?"
Ross-chan was already out of commission, snoozing happily, curled into a ball on the couch. Serafall nudged her once, twice, then gave up and laughed, taking a big sip from the bottle.
Sona looked with dread at her sister, knowing fully well the chaos she could pull out when being drunk… and tantrum if she would try to take the alcohol away. This was a situation with no good way out.
And everyone seemed to understand that as well.
"She's right though, working around those regulations was pain in the ass in the past!" Azazel complained, crossing arms on his chest. "I bet it's even worse now, when they had time to polish them further and get rid of loopholes."
Irina gave him an exhausted stare, a soft whisper escaping her lips. "You have no idea…"
Naruto poured a bottle of blue slime on the floor, and it started to grow in size until it was about the size of a small bear. Her sword sank into the slime instead of Naruto, and when she tried to pull her sword out, she wasn't able to do it and it got stuck. She turned her standard issue light sword off and jumped back, turning it back on.
"Nice one!" Issei smiled at the sight, leaning back a bit. "Clever usage of classic lightsaber!"
Xenovia raised her finger. "Actually, it's a compound blade of sunlight mixed with angelic magic power, stabilized and contained by the usage of…"
"Classic lightsaber!"
Azazel grabbed his chin in thought. "Though admittedly, pretty shitty one if it wasn't able to cut through that slime… Though it was able to trap a blade of concentrated light in its own body, so it may be of special breed…"
Xenovia gave them both an deadpanned look. The same kind Koneko would give them… or rather was giving them right now, alongside her.
Issei didn't even allowed her to finish, while Azazel was just slandering.
"Hey, this time I'm not doing anything perverted for a prank, I'm just trying to complete a potion my parents had been working on. If it works, I'll be able to cure any STD in the world... well almost any STD... but the potion is the wrong color." Naruto pointed at the potion.
Hearing that, ex-exorcist eyes widen and moved in a flash towards the screen, alongside her angel friend. They both tilted their heads in slight disbelief – not at the noble goal itself, more so at the notion he's not planning anything perverted.
Azazel seemed to understand their skepticism, as he laughed loudly almost immediately. "Not doing anything perverted, huh? Good joke, that one!"
Koneko tilted her head in confusion at that, as asked what almost everyone wanted to. "Explain, please…?"
"It's simple!" fallen angel stated proudly. "STDs know commonly today were not always a thing. Ancient Rome and Greece, or even early medieval times were free of most of those pesky nuisances. Those were beautiful times – plenty of brothels, common affairs and wild imagination!"
Irina crossed hands under her bust with a curious expression. She could see others understood Azazel point, but some were as confused as she. "And how is it related to this?"
"Well, as I said – it's simple when you think about it!" Azazel raised a finger to make a point. "Currently, a lot of people are holding back their sexual urges, afraid of STDs. Humans have protections, but those are not 100% foolproof… But remove that factor and world is about to get lot more frisky!"
Both angel and ex-nun blushed, finally getting it. Issei himself also understood, though his reaction was quite different from them – he was… cheerful.
"Fuck yeah~!"
Rias just shook her head at Pawn antics.
"... and the pig?"
Azazel and Sona shifted their focus back to the screen, their hands immediately intertwined under their chins in concentration. On the other hand the third competitor, Ophis, looked completely nonchalant, smug even, absolutely certain of her own victory.
Vali looked at her face and seeing that utter confidence, he could not stop himself. He was absolutely happy that she didn't even noticed it, as he would end up in a pretty bad shape if she noticed the sorry look he gave her at that moment.
"Oh, humans share a lot of DNA and stuff with pigs and all. So, I was going to give him some of the same potion I gave to Dan-"
"-the Manphin?"
Sona leaned forward at first, her lips forming into smug smirk, yet withdraw with clear annoyance just as quickly when he spoke of feeding pig the potion. Azazel mimicked her first reaction immediately…
"Yeah, I recreated that potion and I was going to give it to Pork here. I need to make him even more humanoid, and then I'm going to get him to drink the other potion and his blood will become the cure." Naruto explained as he gestured to the baby pig. His plans were very simple, but he could get super rich if he created the cure to STDs.
…only to just as fast mimic her second one.
His expression quickly changed into a confused grimace, as he rubbed his chin in thought. "He does feed the potion to Pork…"
"Yes, to change his blood into a cure" Sona stated, even though her own face was marked by a hint of uncertainty. "Cure for humans, mind you, a point you deliberately discarder."
She was no longer certain of her victory, but neither was Azazel, as the wording from the blonde alchemist made it look like they both were right, to a degree. But she could still talk it out into her favor.
"Can't argue with that, but he needs him to transform first…"
"Indeed, however…"
Others stopped paying attention to the discussion between the two, instead focusing on events on the screen. Everyone did that.
Almost.
"…I've lost?"
This was obvious result for anyone with even a tiny bit of common sense, which unfortunately this Dragon God loli lacked. She ended up in a state of shock, pure disbelief showing in her eyes.
Even usually stoic and nonchalant Vali could not ignore this, as his hand moved to her head and began gently patting her. "Yes, yes, there you go…"
Xenovia lowered her blade.
Yuuto clicked his tongue. "Big mistake…"
"... You're on a mission to help humanity?"
"Dammit, don't fall for it, other me!" Xenovia called out in desperation towards the screen, as her angel friend hid her face in her hands.
"Well, yes but no. I want to make a ton of mo..." Naruto paused. "Yes, yes I do want to help humanity." Naruto corrected himself, before he dug the hole he was in any deeper. He should just go along with what she thought, and leave his own desire to make tons of money out of it.
"Pretty cheeky, Naru-chan~ !" Serafall cheered the blonde alchemist, raising her cup. "Greedy too, but also genius – make the fortune and be labeled as… something close to savior, for sure!"
"Not pretty close, straight up savior, nya~!" Kuroka stated joyfully. "We do not have to worry about those things, but humans pay a pretty close attention to them – no unprotected sex with random slutty girls, at least from sober guys."
Koneko eyed her sister sternly. "Guess you speak from experience?"
"Maybe, nya~!"
Xenovia jumped over the slime.
Ex-exorcist clenched her hand in triumphant gesture. "Yes…!"
The slime extended and caught her by the foot, before she was dragged into the slime so that most of her body was stuck inside of it. Only her head and hands were free of the slime, and the slime itself started to quickly eat at her clothes.
"…oh, for fuck sake!"
She could hear Issei chuckle, but decided to ignore it… just as she ignored the snickering of others. She could not blame them, her reaction combined with her counterpart utter failure must have been somewhat funny.
It was still irritating.
"... So, what, this slime is only trained to go after butts as well-"
"Actually, you're about to get fucked unless I... moral issue with this aside. I kind of want to watch this, because this is an actual wild slime that I stored in a potion bottle. This would be a great chance for me to observe this." Naruto stated as her clothes were all gone.
Koneko deadpanned at the scene. "That's some mad scientist vibes… mixed with crazy pervert."
"Yeah, is it even safe?" Irina voiced her concerns. "I mean, he creates monsters and so one, but that's basically a wild beast…"
"Hence why she's about to get… ravaged." Yuuto stated with a conflicted expression. "I doubt he would allow this, if Xenovia would be in actual danger..."
"…or if he couldn't fixed her afterwards."
Issei got immediate glares from both exorcist duo and pretty boy at the comment, but nevertheless he smiled confidently, crossing hands on his chest.
The slime started to harden parts of the inside of its body, and begun to try and arouse Xenovia by rubbing against her crotch. She turned a little pink in the face from the rubbing, and she glared down Naruto.
"Something like that will not be enough to corrode my will" blue-haired knight stated confidently.
"It'll be enough to stop you from moving though" Yuuto countered her argument almost instantly. "Unable to draw power from Excalibur or Durandal, or even summon either… you really have slim chances."
Xenovia glare moved towards her fellow knight. "On which side are you?!"
"No ones, just a quick observation."
"Well then, watch…"
"Or you could save me from this slime, and I don't have to have sex with a slime nnng." Xenovia moaned when he started to more successfully find the spots that felt good on her body.
"…as it adapts! Great!" She throw her arms in the air in anger, then fallen back onto the pillows, covering her eyes with one of her hands. "Just fucking great…!"
"My, you and the other you should just relax" said Akeno, with a cheeky smile on her face. "It actually seems quite comfortable, so in your place I would just lay back and enjoy… especially after everything else failed."
Asia and Irina blushes at those words, as they were watching the other Xenovia reaction, darting their eyes back and forward towards the screen.
"Okay, I'll save you... if you and Irina STOP chasing after me." Naruto countered her, and put an offer down on the table.
"I mean, that's a good deal" Grayfia stated calmly, looking towards the exorcist duo. "Just take it and…"
"No, I will not abandon the mission, I don't care what happens to me if it means succeeding."
"What she said!" Irina backed up the alternate Xenovia, alongside her Xenovia nodding in agreement. "No way we would stop now!"
"Eh, you girls are so stubborn…" Silver-haired maid rubbed the base of her nose in irritation. "And they say Pride is the worst of the sins…"
"It's not pride, it's commitment!"
"Sure, sure…"
"You've got like... 10 seconds before you lose your virginity to a slime, and I will be honest with you... I will more than likely masturbate. You don't want to see that, and I don't want to have to do that. So I think we can find common ground-"
"I would not mind~!" Akeno raised her hand and called out joyfully.
"Neither would I, nya~!"
Koneko deadpanned, as she turned and gave her sister a stern look. Then she gave it to Akeno as well.
*SLAP*
*SHOP*
Rias gave her queen a quick slap to the back of her head, while Koneko karate-chopped Kuroka. But they both gave just a sly smile in response.
"Pervs. All of you."
"Yes we are, nya~!"
"I escaped, it was a baby tentacle and didn't have a lot of stamina!"
"Go, me~!" Irina stood up and cheered lively, hearing her counterpart re-appearance on the screen. "Round…"
Irina, butt naked and dripping goo from her butt, shouted as she pointed her sword towards Naruto. She looked at Xenovia, before she rushed towards her and grabbed onto her hand. With all of her strength, Irina yanked Xenovia out of the slime that refused to give up on its victim. It tried to hold onto Xenovia, but she swung her sword and started to slice into it without mercy.
"…two."
She blushed at the sight and immediately went meek, crossing her legs.
"Baby tentacle or not, you certainly tanked it like a pro." Issei gave his childhood friend a proud thumb up. "Good job!"
Irina covered her face in shame.
"Not only that, but she did so while preserving most of her strength" Kiba poured more oil into the fire. "Pulling her out of the slime must have not been an easy task, especially when it hardened, though it's much less resistant to cutting in that state."
Xenovia rolled across the ground and picked up her sword, sweating and panting as the effects of the slime started to show on her body.
"Looks pretty sexy" bluntly said Issei.
"Well, cannot argue with that…"
"Xenovia?!" Irina looked at her friend like she was crazy. "What the…"
She simply shrug it off. No point in denying the obvious and she had to admit, she did looked damn good with her skin all moist and shiny. Exotic even, almost like she just had an oil massage.
"Let's find some common ground, I'm free now, and don't need to negotiate with you."
"I understand that, and since I don't see myself beating either of you in a fair fight-"
"Pfft~! Sure…" Issei barely hold his chuckle at the other Xenovia words. "But what are the chances of a fair fight here?"
"True, we will likely get outmaneuvered, outsmarted or outperverted…"
Akeno giggled at that, making Rias sigh. "And the last option is the most probable."
"You plan on surrendering, and I'm going to kick you in the nuts. Also, and more importantly, I will forget kicking you in the nuts if you have something that will stop my butt from leaking tentacle cum." Irina offered her own proposal to Naruto.
"Quite a generous offer!" Sirzechs laughed at that. "Though quite bold one as well, considering you didn't win with him even once."
Neither of the exorcist duo responded to that, they knew all too well he was right.
Naruto had a boner looking at these two girls.
"Yeah, tell me about it…"
"Ise!" Rias has raise her voice at that, scorning her pawn. But she could see he indeed had one. "Could you please behave a bit?!"
"What?! It's a normal and healthy reaction!" he responded, earning a scornful gaze from blushing the Church Trio. "Besides, Kiba and Gasper are hard too, they just hide it better!"
Church girls turned their sight to the other boys, alongside Gremory and Himejima, only now noticing it, to the embarrassment of mentioned two.
"Ise-kun, could you please not look at my crotch?" Yuuto asked politely, though his cheeks were a bit pink and his face distorted into a grimace. "It's a bit… invasive."
"I-I-I-I-I-I s-stayed quite for some t-t-t-time, hoping n-no one will n-notice…" Gasper was completely red, tears in the sides of his eyes. "Buchou! Issei-senpai is a bully!"
Rias sighed exhausted. "Ise, that will be 100 slaps later."
"Oh, common!"
Vali just eyed the scene with absolute disregard, before he shifted slightly. "This is stupid…"
"Are you hard too?" Ophis asked quietly.
"What can I say?" He didn't even tried to argue with her, admitting to it with a shrug. "They both have a nice ass, but the blue-haired one – Xenovia, wasn't it? She's, well… damn."
Dragon God just nodded to that, paying it no further notice.
"Oh, I actually do have something for that. I have a potion for that, and for... a small price I will sell it to you." Naruto offered them.
These girls were super hot, by the way.
"Could we please not be reminded of that though?" Irina begged desperately, her face entirely red. "But is that not a reason enough to just… hand it to me?"
"Didn't you just asked to not be reminded of that, Iri-chan~?"
Irina didn't responded to Leviathan joyful question and she didn't delved deeper.
"We're going to kick your ass and take it anyway, so I suggest that you hand it over."
...
Vali snickered sarcastically. "Very convincing argument, I'm sure it will…"
"Fair point, very fair point." Naruto opened book and a potion dropped out of the pages, and into his hands. Naruto crouched down behind the slime, and he tossed it across the room to Irina, who sent Naruto a suspicious look.
"…work… Damn!"
She paused.
"... What does this do exactly?"
"Impossible" Ophis stated, with something akin to genuine surprise in her voice. "She thinks?"
"Just when I didn't?!"
"When you shouted."
Angel girl raised her hand to point out the contrary, but pause mid her movement and slowly withdraw her arm in hesitation.
Vali, however, smiled. "Still, good on you for questioning his intentions – you're an enemy, so there is a possibility he…"
"It just tightens up your butt again, and makes your body absorb the goo. It doesn't do anything bad, it just speeds up the way you recover. You don't have to take the potion, and you can just wait a day or two. Heck, the potion is so safe, if you don't believe me, you can feed some to Pork." Naruto pointed to Pork the Pig. Irina sent Naruto a suspicious look, before she walked over to the pig.
"…Okay, he really wants to undermine my analytic capabilities." Despite saying this, Vali laughed at how this blonde prankster kept outplaying his expectations. "But I'm still standing by it – that's not just a recovery potion."
Issei snickered. "Sore looser much?"
"Said the guy who's about to get his ass whooped" he rebuked immediately, much to surprise of his rival. "I'm into ass smashing, but not like that… You truly beat me in something!"
"Hey!"
Rias giggled at that and she wasn't alone. Akeno herself covered her lips to politely hide a smile and few others turned their head away from Issei, to not show their own smirks. Neither of them was mean, Vali comeback was just good.
She poured a tiny amount of the potion onto the floor, and like a pig he started to lick up the potion, and she kept a close eye on the pig. Xenovia was smarter though and refused to take her eyes off of Naruto.
"Good." Yuuto nodded to Xenovia. "Could be nothing more than a distraction to just run away."
"Yeah, but…" Xenovia paused and touched her chin in thought. "I agree with Vali, something doesn't add up. He gave the potion too willingly…"
Nothing happened.
"…or I'm just paranoid…"
"Oh-"
Pork started to grow in size, and Naruto started to laugh.
"…or not!"
"Vali smirked smugly in satisfaction, mostly to himself. "I knew it."
"You fools, that was the potion that turned the dolphin into Dan the Manphin, you just turned that pig from Pork the Pig into Pork-"
When the potion was quickly done, before them stood a large figure.
"…fuck." Azazel consciousness finally came back from discussion with Sona. "So the potion he's brewing is to turn Pork blood into the cure, that's what he needed blood for… fuck, I lost."
Sona smiled. It was a smug and dominating smile, showing of her deep joy in being right. From certain point of view, you could even call it quite sexy.
Pork stood over 7 feet tall, with very thick, muscular arms and everything about him was far more humanoid and muscular. He looked down at the girls who were standing in front of him, and while he looked towards Naruto. Naruto finished putting the slime back into the bottle at this time, and he stood up and dusted himself off.
"-the Orc."
"Japanese orc, to be precise" Rias noted out loud, seeing that the creatures face slightly changed, but overall retained the animalistic features. "Quite large too, both height and muscles… was kind of expecting him to be more chubby."
"I think he looks good as he is." Akeno giggled at that, a bit of pink on her cheeks,.
"Large yet muscular frame, pig based face and body…" Issei analyzed the Pork. "I think he's a pretty good mix of Japanese and classic orc."
Rias nodded to her pawn. "Cannot disagree with that."
"Oh, ooooooh... oooooooooh... like Orcs. Pork the Orc, that's a pretty... apt nickname." Irina back away from Pork.
Irina blushed, her entire face turned red. Even Rias and Akeno, who were discussing his appearance just a second ago, as well as rest of Church Trio, were flushed and embarrassed.
Pork was erect.
Pork was massive.
Sona herself, pleased with her victory, blushed a bit at the sight and even Grayfia, with her stoic expression, turned away her eyes after stealing a glance. All while Asia and Irina covered their own eyes in embarrassment.
Only Serafall tilted her head and smirked, blushing from all of consumed alcohol, but clearly not embarrassed. Or maybe even emboldened by the intoxication. Or she just didn't cared at all.
Guys on the other hand just clicked their tongues and grimaced, but said no word.
"Irina, why are you scared, there are two of us and we are both armed with swords." Xenovia jumped towards Pork, and stabbed her sword into his shoulder. Pork shouted out in pain and collapsed onto the ground, holding onto his shoulder and cradling it in pain. "See, it doesn't have any experience in battle either."
"…Ok, I know you all were a bit flabbergasted by him, but that was just rude."
Serafall pouted, as she crossed arms under her chest and gazed towards Xenovia. She returned the look almost immediately, a bit annoyed.
"Well, what was I supposed to do in that situation?" she asked bluntly, crossing her arms as well. "The other me had no idea what he was capable of."
"And the first thing that came to your mind was to stab him?" Issei just had to ask, as even as the beast appearance was a bit… overwhelming, he just felt it was a wrong action. "Just brutal."
Gasper nodded his head in agreement.
Naruto grabbed two smoke bombs from his bag and threw them onto the ground, before he filled the entire kitchen with smoke.
"Gate"
"Aaaand he's gone" Yuuto stated quickly. "So Pork indeed worked well as a distraction. Or you were just too full of yourself."
Xenovia smiled towards Yuuto, sending a shiver down his spine. It was a very, very, very sweet smile.
"If you guys won't stop pointing out those things, you'll be full of cuts" she stated slowly. "Deal?"
They didn't responded verbally, just nodded in agreement.
She was just done with it.
-Later-
"It's okay baby, daddy is here for you. Those mean girls aren't here to hurt you anymore, it's okay Pork." Naruto comforted his crying orc. He adopted this pig to experiment on it, but it was still just a baby pig after all on the inside. It had no innate battle skills until it was trained up, and it needed his love and care to grow into a big and strong orc.
"Awww… He's so cute and innocent~ " Leviathan fawned over the orc, seeing his immature emotional state. "That was really awful, you know?"
Xenovia could do nothing more than curl and tighten her fist in annoyance, all while still smiling. The promise she offered to the boys could not extend the strongest female in the Underworld…
"He's just a baby…" Asia whispered with compassion. "We really reacted too harshly to him."
…she should also not extend it to her best friend…
"Such trauma could cause him problems down the line" said Azazel, after analyzing the monster reaction for a bit. "You really should hold off this time…"
…but she was surely tempted to try fulfill her deal to Grigori leader.
Pork snorted and cried on Naruto's shoulder, curling up into a ball.
"Aw, just look at him~!" Asia chippered further.
Even Irina had to admit that now, the orc didn't seemed that bad. She still couldn't wiped her memory of his…
She blushed again and shake her head.
Naruto looked at his broken Gate Orb, and sighed in annoyance, since he only had one of those, and making more would take more money than he could afford to spend. Still, it was worth it to escape with his dear Pork.
"So that's how he casted Gate" Sirzechs noted enthusiastically. "I was surprised. Normal Teleport is one thing, but Gate is a higher level spatial spell and casting it on the spot would be… pretty incredible."
"Still, he broke the orb… Cannot say though if it was one-time item, or if he miscalculated" Azazel voiced his theory out loud.
"Either way, he managed to escape with his experiment" said Grayfia and even though she did not called the monster by its name, even she had to admit it was innocent creature.
Or maybe those were motherly instincts.
"Ruuuh... ruuuuh... Da... Da... Daddy."
"Aw, just look at him~!" Asia continued fawning over the Pork. "He's such a baby~ "
"Yes, I'm your papa, you're going to be okay. See, your wound is all gone now, daddy's potion fixed you right up." Naruto stated as he rubbed Pork's shoulder where he had been injured. Pork looked at his own shoulder, before he started to stand up. He looked around, and he noticed that they were in a forest. "Okay Pork, you-"
Issei crossed his hands and nodded. "Tell whatever you want about him, but he does care about his creations."
Pork started to transform back into a regular baby pig, shrinking in size until he returned back to normal, and Naruto put his finger to his lip.
"Is he more delicious now?" asked Ophis, a bit of droll appearing from the side of her lips. "Did I won?"
Both Sona and Azazel wanted to rebuke her claim, but they didn't managed to. Someone else was faster and did it for a different reason, but definitely more effectively.
"No, he's not!" Asia stood up, putting angrily at Infinite Dragon. "He's cute piggy, not for eating, and it definitely wasn't intention here!"
Ophis turned her head and looked at the ex-nun. That was her normal stare, normal look, yet from the side you could get a feeling of a sad puppy not getting what it wanted. "Ok."
Okay, so without Holy Water, the potion was incomplete, he forgot to add the Holy Water to the potion, or maybe it was the demonic power infused into the dolphin that made the transformation last. Either way, Pork the Orc was once more Pork the Pig and went over to Naruto and snuggled up to him.
"Hmm… Could it be both Holy Water AND the demonic energy?" asked Yuuto. "The same as with my Holy Demon Swords, two opposite energies working together to bring out even more potent power?"
Azazel touched his chin in though. "You know, that's a good theory. It definitely could be it, though neither we or he have any way of checking it out… Hell, he does not even know that such fusion is possible."
"True…"
-With Xenovia/Irina-
"Ah, back with our losers!"
"I know you're a leader of Grigori, but I will punch you" said Irina, clenching her fist and smiling dangerously. There was even a vein popping out on her forehead. "Xenovia too seems willing to join."
"And you're sure it will end different than your counterpart tries with Naruto?" he teased them further, although he knew he's balancing there.
"They don't have Durandal or Excaliburs, while I have both" Xenovia stated with a calm anger in her voice. "And that Irina is not an angel."
Drop of sweat flow down Azazel face, as he raised his hands in defence. "All right, all right, I'm sorry. Let's not try to fight, or the whole room may suffer."
"We failed... AGAIN, we had him this time-"
"Well, at least he DID leave behind a potion that made my butthole better. I figured he wouldn't leave behind another potion that was a lie." Irina started to get dressed in the spare clothes that she brought, since she figured something would happen since Naruto was involved.
"Good thinking with clothes, you're making progress" Sona praised Irina adaptability.
"Ehehe, you think so?" Irina blushed a bit, embarrassed, as she rubbed the back of her head. "Thanks…"
Then Sona expression changed ab bit, into more stern one. "On the other hand, you just drink a potion he left behind, having no idea what it may do and just assuming it would not be a trick by Naruto."
"Thanks…" she repeated with much less enthusiastic tone.
She and Xenovia had to get dressed and ready before they went back to the church and reported that they failed to get Naruto again.
Chapter 4 Surprised Buttsecks – the end.
"Just another day of exorcist duo, eh?" Issei laughed, his eyes looking towards the screen. "Let's go for ano…"
He didn't finished his sentence, as hairs on his back stood up in sudden sense of danger. Even he could feel the sudden spike in holy energy in the room.
"That's it~!"
"Ise-kun, prepare for whooping~!"
Xenovia pulled out her Ex-Durandal from a seal, while Irina formed a whip of light in her hands. Both were smiling sweetly at Issei, which turned on all red lights in his head.
He run like a win to closest door. Girls followed just as quick after him.
Hey guys, Robso98 here!
Been a while, a bit of laziness and personal problems combined and... well, you see, update was pretty late. But at least it's pretty long!
Hope you guys like it, please comment, tell me your thoughts on the chapter and have fun!
Also, remember to check out original story and comment there too!
See ya in next update, hopefully sooner xDD
