"Care to tell me what that was about?"

"No."

While Verna spoke with Fitz in the other room, Jerry sat in front of Olivia attempting to help ease the nightmare and keep her awake for now.

"You haven't had panic attacks like that in several years. And I've never had to throw water on you to wake you up. Have you been having these?" He watched her nod and wring her hands together. "Does Fitz know?" Shaking her head, Jerry grabbed her hands to make her stop. "You should tell him. If you keep having nightmares, he's going to eventually wake up next to you and have a difficult time trying to wake you out of a nightmare. What are they about anyway?"

"Just stupid thoughts. It would never be able to happen anyway. Edison is dead. I shot him. I know I did."

"You're still having nightmares about him? Why?"

"Really? You really think I can explain why my fucked-up brain is telling me he's still alive and able to hurt someone? If I could explain it, I should be able to make it stop. I should be able to be a normal person and move on with my life."

Coming out from the bedroom, Verna took the seat next to her. "You are a normal person. Everyone has nightmares. Everyone has bad experiences. Yours are just a bit more invasive. But I think we can find you something else to take if you want to sleep alone. Maybe we can find you another sleeping med or I can do more research and look into new studies and see if anything has changed since we first discussed it."

"I'll look into a few things myself, Verna, thank you. I need you to focus on Javi. He's coming home this week. Just keep up to date on all his medical needs and whatever Kim and Huck need, please. He's the priority."

"Do you want us to stay the rest of the night? I'll crash in the guest room."

"That's alright, you and Jerry should go home and sleep in your own bed. I'll be fine for another night. Fitz will be home later today, and everything will be back to normal."

"Alright, then I'll start the coffee, but only three espresso shots today," Jerry told her and left for the kitchen.

Turning towards her, Verna lightly rubbed Liv's shoulder, getting her attention. "Full disclosure. I did talk to Fitz about you and Jerry."

Rolling her eyes at it, Liv kept her voice down to not let him overhear her. "Is he seriously on that still?"

"Or are you not wanting Jerry to stay because of Fitz?"

"What? You both got back just an hour ago. I don't want to put either of you out. You've been gone for two weeks. Go home and sleep."

"Olivia, I know more about you than you think I do. As your psychiatrist and as your friend. I explained to Fitz that I am fine with the arrangement between you and Jerry. There's nothing going on between you two. And if he can help you, I want him to. I understand how Fitz thinks that it is, for lack of another word, weird that you need Jerry to sleep in bed with you. And I did tell him that he would need to learn to accept it."

"Fitz hates that it's Jerry that I need. He is fine with it being Huck but he hates it when it's Jerry. I told him before we even agreed to start dating that Jerry would always be one of my people and if he didn't like that, then maybe we shouldn't be together. He was so angry with Jerry for a long time and when we discussed us being together and him having to accept my relationship with Jerry, Fitz agreed. He understood that he didn't have to like it, but he did have to respect it. Since we got together, those two are finally talking. Their weekly dinners and almost daily phone calls are going great. Even though Fitz says they don't talk about me, I know they do. I seem to be their common denominator. But as I'm sure in every relationship, there is a give and take. Fitz lets Jerry stay with me when I need someone here and Fitz or Huck can't be here. And in return, I don't let Jerry stay in bed with me. I know it makes Fitz uncomfortable, so I try not to let it happen. I'll give up a few nights of sleep to make Fitz feel okay. You and I both know I don't do feelings. But Fitz does. So, if I can do something to make him feel okay with having to leave to go for a visit with his mom or go on a work trip or anything else, I'm going to do it. I'm not going to burden him with my sleep issues. Those are mine to deal with. And I haven't had Jerry in bed with me for nearly a year."

Shaking her head, Verna didn't care for the thought process Olivia had. "How is that fair to you though? You're giving up sleep for him. You're giving up your happiness, your wellbeing, for him to be happy. What is he giving up for yours?"

"Fitz has a lot going on right now. There are clients that need his attention and offices that are having issues. And the divorce. His mind is on a lot of things. I've got my sleeping arrangements covered."

"This isn't healthy, and you know that, Olivia. I'm not comparing the two of them, not at all. Would Stephen…"

"DO NOT GO THERE."

"Olivia…"

"Ladies, everything okay in here?" Jerry stepped from the kitchen with her coffee and handed it to her after hearing her shout. "What seems to be the issue?"

"Nothing," both answering him looking away from each other.

"Are we sure about that?"

"We're just…"

"You and Verna should go home, Jerry," Liv stopped Verna from adding anything else. "I'll drink this and get some work done. There's plenty to do." She smiled up at him and stood to give him a hug. "I'll see you Monday morning for breakfast."

Giving her the space that she needed, Jerry walked out with Verna to go home. Driving down the dark streets home, curiosity got the best of him.

"What was that about? Why did she tell you not to go there? Not go where?"

Ever since she said it, Verna had been mentally kicking herself. "I overstepped," she sighed looking out the window. "I talked to her as her therapist and not her friend."

"It's difficult to be both. You shouldn't blame yourself for it, sweetheart. Livia won't punish you for doing your job," Jerry told her squeezing her hand between them.

"She might."

"I'm caught in the middle here. May I ask what you think you overstepped on? Technically for that conversation, you were her friend. So, as your fiancé and Livia's friend, may I ask what it was?"

"I told her I wasn't comparing them but I think she believes I was."

"Comparing what exactly?"

"Fitz and Stephen."

Pulling over on the side of the road, Jerry had to wrap his mind around that. "You did what?"

"I thought I was helping."

"By comparing her current boyfriend to her murdered fiancé?" he shouted at her.

"Alright, now I know I overstepped. I wasn't trying to compare them. It just turned out that way."

"What exactly did you say?"

"Jerry, that's private information."

"No, it's not. The conversation you had with her is not in the books and you aren't charging her insurance. What did you tell her?"

Knowing eventually Jerry would get it out of her or have this same conversation with Liv, she started to explain it. "She's just giving up a lot for Fitz. And when I asked what he was giving up for her, she defended him that he has a lot going on. It's not healthy. Then I started to ask if Stephen would make her give up all these things for him."

"That's when she told you not to go there."

"Yes." Running a hand through his hair, Jerry shook his head unable to believe Verna would do that. "But I didn't even get the sentence out. The mention of Stephen's name set her off."

"Verna, you cannot compare the two. They are completely different. You're trying to compare the before and after. You didn't know Livia with Stephen. There's no way in hell that if he was alive, she would be with Fitz. Stephen and she would be married with at least one kid by now. She might be working for Fitz, but they wouldn't be in a relationship. If he was alive, she wouldn't be like this. She wouldn't need someone there with her to sleep. She wouldn't be so defensive. She wouldn't be this controlling. She wouldn't have worked for Richards. She wouldn't have been raped. She'd be happy with Stephen. She'd be ecstatic being a mother. She'd be sleeping! But everything changed. Everything would be right in her world because she would have Stephen. And I know it's not fair to Fitz. I get that. And I love my son and I love Livia. They are wonderful together. They are a perfect couple. They complete each other. But he completes the after Stephen part of her. You cannot compare the before and after. They are two totally different people."

"She would be happy with Stephen. And she does seem happy with Fitz. But now, back up. Olivia was raped?"

Jerry whipped his head so fast to see her, he could have broken his head. "Livia never told you?"

"No. She never mentioned that. Who raped her?"

"James Richards."

"That's why she hates him. Now it makes sense. Olivia never told me what happened to her. All she told me was he was a horrible man. Is that who Javi keeps calling the 'bad man'?"

"Yes, he heard me and Huck discussing James after it happened. We went to the hospital to get her afterwards and tried to convince her to do a rape kit. I don't think she ever did one though." Pulling her hand up with his, Jerry kissed the back of her hand and held it tight. "Over time, you will start to understand Livia more. Livia will sacrifice her own happiness for others. She didn't want to report her rape because of what it would do to James' wife and kids. She won't let me stay with her because Fitz doesn't like it. She's not letting Huck stay either. Both because Javi needs him and because the sleeping arrangement is starting to get to Kim. I'm not going to force her to make a decision between me and Huck or Fitz. We are watching her closer when Fitz is away. She's okay. And an okay Livia is better than an unhappy one. If and when she needs it, she'll let us know. But it won't be until she is desperate."

"I can't sit on the sideline and watch her destroy herself. Not as a friend and not as her therapist. On many levels, I can't do that."

"Listen to me, Livia knows her limits. She will push past them until she breaks down. When she starts going for more than wine, or skipping all meals, or avoiding work, that's when we know she's breaking. We know the signs to watch for. She broke down after Stephen's funeral. It took months to get her up and going again. That's one reason we convinced her to talk to a therapist. We can fix it, but we have to make her stop. Livia is like my own daughter. She is family. We can fix her. Maybe one day, in the distant future, she will be the same way she was when she was with Stephen. But that is going to take a lot more time than what's been since."