Chapter Thirty Five
'Mother is sick.
We all went out yesterday, enjoying a ride through the town. Halt says that the townspeople enjoy watching and seeing a happy royal family, and it lets them become closer, but we were attacked while we were out.
The guards took care of the criminals rather easily, but in all the confusion, Mother fell into the river we were nearby.
She was soaked for at least an hour until we got back to the castle and had a fever by nightfall.
The doctors keep telling me that she'll be fine, but Mother has never been sick before, at least, not since I was born.
Caitlyn has been trying to distract me with games. She even got Halt to play a few, although he did look lost in thought the whole time. I wonder what he was thinking about.
Mother has always said not to worry about things I can't control, but I just can't stop wondering. What if she ends up like Father? What if she doesn't get better? I can't lose both parents in less than a year, I just can't.'
'I haven't seen Mother in over a week. No one will let me in her room, too afraid that I'll catch her illness.
I don't think she's going to get better. I feel horrible. All I can think about are all the times I've yelled at her, told her I hated her, I've even wished that I wasn't her daughter, but that's not true!
How am I supposed to let her know?'
'Halt caught me trying to sneak into Mother's room today. There are things I need to tell her, in case she doesn't get better.
He just raised an eyebrow at me and told me that it would never work. That I was going about it the wrong way.
Next thing I know, he'd led me through the castle to the kitchens. There, we found a little door to a servant's quarters. I was very confused.
Then he handed me a maid's uniform and told me to get dressed while he got the rest ready.
I did and when I came out of the changing room, he was there with hair supplies and make up!
He started to do my hair and make up in ways that I never do it, giving me pointers the entire time. Things like, 'Keep your head down, servants never look anyone in the eyes unless ordered', 'Stay as silent as possible. A loud servant draws attention', and 'People only see what they expect to see. So, just give them what they expect'.
By the time he was done, I didn't even recognize myself! I never knew the prince was capable of being so sneaky!
No one looked at me as I walked back to Mother's room, carrying a tray of food as part of my cover. No one stopped me from going into her room! It was a brilliant plan!
Mother looked worse than I had ever seen her. She was so frail, her skin on her face was sunken in, she couldn't even sit up on her own!
I had to spoon feed her the broth I had brought.
I kept apologizing the whole time I was there for being such a horrible, ungrateful daughter. I'm not sure she heard me, she kept babbling under her breath. I'm not even sure she recognized me, no matter how many times I told her who I was.
She's always seemed so strong…it's hard to believe the woman I saw today is my mother.'
Selethen didn't know when he fell in love. He didn't even know when exactly he started caring about Nellie. Growing up, he never even thought that he ever would fall in love. He and Aloom would always make fun of the 'lovesick fools', always so focused on their partner. He thought love was ridiculously distracting and with everything else in his life, Selethen had sworn to never fall in love.
Then they sat together in her office, spent hours talking and learning about each other. She proved she could see through any mask he put up. It surprised him; he normally wasn't a 'cuddler'. He liked his personal space, but he found himself wanting to touch her, wanting to hold her, wanting to be that close.
It got worse after he kissed her because then he couldn't stop kissing her. It seemed like it was all he could do. Her wanting to come on the trip had him in an absolute panic. The idea of her in any more danger than she already was, of voluntarily going into danger, had his heart stopping.
Leaving Al Shabah was torture, it was like he couldn't breathe anymore. Each step he took put him in a worse mood, making him angrier and angrier until even Aloom refused to talk to him during the trip, muttering that he never thought that Selethen would be one of those husbands.
That was the last straw; he had to admit that Zahra was right.
He was in love with Aranel. He couldn't even figure out what she had done or said that made him fall in love. She was just…her! It irked him to no end. He wasn't supposed to fall in love, ever. He had sworn that he wouldn't.
After he realized it, part of him wanted to run back right away and tell her. The more logical side of him realized exactly how stupid that was. And, even though he didn't want to admit it, a small part of him was afraid that she wouldn't love him back, especially if-
"Sel! Pay attention!" Aloom his in his ear, dragging him out of his thoughts.
Selethen blinked, glancing around. They were crouched behind a hill, the Tualaghi camp just ahead of them. Aloom was staring at him in confused frustration at the way he had let his attention wander.
Selethen agreed, berating himself in his mind. They were about to ambush one of the two most dangerous groups in the desert. He needed to be focused on the present, not Nellie.
It had taken them just over a week to track down the Tualaghi. Usually the desert raiders kept themselves in small numbers, able to hide in the desert in the blink of an eye, but the main group that the leader of the Tualaghi resided with was larger, easily four or five hundred in size. If they could defeat this group, the main threat would be taken care of. The smaller groups would disperse or be handled by guard patrols in all the other regions. It would be like cutting the head off a snake.
Umar's forces had tracked them easily and now they were just waiting for the right moment to strike. Scouts had said Yusal, the Tualaghi leader, was doing guard shifts every four hours. The plan was to strike near the end of one of the shifts, surprising the guards. Every little advantage they could get would help and it was almost time.
Five more minutes.
Four.
Three.
Two.
There! One of Umar's men signaled from down the line.
They burst forth, rushing towards the encampment.
The guards were shocked. Two of them were able to send out a warning call before arrows shot them down. The Tualaghi camp had been encircled in order to cut off any sort of retreat. The other guards fell beneath their blades.
Selethen and Aloom fought side by side. The first of the desert raiders hadn't had time to get to their weapons, but some from closer to the center of the camp had, rushing towards them now. For a long while it was nothing but fighting. Selethen blocked, stabbed, parried, dodged. It seemed like for every enemy he cut down, another took their place, but he knew that wasn't the case. They had the tribe outnumbered at least two to one and with the ambush, they stood next to no chance.
That didn't mean they weren't fighting to the end though. Selethen sank his sword into the shoulder of the one he was fighting. A wound like that would still take the man out of the fight, even if he wasn't dead. Another tried to charge him as he pulled his sword free. Selethen ducked, bashing his shield forward and knocking him on the head. A quick slice and the second man was down as well.
Selethen panted, feeling the hyperfocus of battle taking over. It always seemed more like a sixth sense to him as opposed to the boiling blood that the Skandians described it as. It was like his body moved on its own, knowing exactly what to do and when to do it. He didn't have to think, just trust his instincts.
That sixth sense kicked in now, screaming at him to turn around. He did, seeing Aloom locked in battle. He looked to be winning that particular match, but another Tualaghi snuck up behind him, getting ready to lunge forward with his dagger. Aloom didn't see him.
Selethen didn't hesitate, launching forward. Pain blossomed in his side, but he ignored it, spinning his sword around and burying it in the bandit's neck. Blood spurted around them, splattering all over Selethen's own face, but the danger was past.
"Sel!" Aloom called, grabbing his shoulder.
"You let him sneak up on you." Selethen smirked at him, "That was really dumb."
"So is throwing yourself onto his sword." He rolled his eyes, pulling Selethen's arm over his shoulders, "We gotta get you to Maajid."
"Nel packed me stuff. I'm fine." he mumbled.
Aloom yanked him to his feet and they started shuffling along towards where the medical tent was set up. It looked like the battle was starting to wind down. Selethen could swear that he heard Umar yelling at someone in the distance.
"It doesn't matter if she packed you anything if we don't use it." Aloom huffed. "And you are not allowed to die. I refuse to deal with her temper if you don't get back to her."
"She doesn't have a temper."
"You told me all about your fights with her and now you want to say she doesn't have a temper?" Aloom snorted in disbelief.
"Ok, fine, she doesn't have a temper with you." Selethen conceded.
"And I'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much."
Selethen laughed and Aloom cracked a smile. They were close to the medical tent now. It had been set up as soon as they launched their attack, Maajid waiting until the last possible moment so as not to draw the Tualaghi's attention. He was there now, treating patients that had been brought to him. As soon as he saw the two of them, Maajid let one of his apprentices take over his current patient, rushing forward to grab Selethen's other arm. Together, he and Aloom were able to get him settled in the tent without an issue. The scent of blood and herbs flooded in.
"It's not that bad." Selethen tried telling them as Maajid tore his shirt open to get a better look at the wound.
"Do you not see how much blood is covering you right now?"
"It's the other guy's."
Aloom rolled his eyes but Maajid chuckled, "Believe it or not, but the Wakir is right. The wound looks worse than it is. You'll need stitches and a few days to rest due to blood loss, but you'll be fine. It actually wasn't that deep. Aloom, hold this here to try to stop more blood from coming out while I grab my supplies."
"Grab Nellie's." Selethen called out after him. He'd given her bag of medical supplies to Maajid shortly after leaving Al Shabah. The doctor would have more use for it than Selethen would. Maajid waved a hand behind him at his words.
Aloom raised an eyebrow, pressing the tatters of Selethen's shirt to the long gash on his side, "You only trust her medicine now?"
"It's more for show." Selethen admitted, "If I show I trust her medicine for myself then maybe everyone else will trust her in the long run."
Understanding dawned in his eyes, "The issue at the hospital."
He nodded, "Yeah, but I honestly think it's more than that. She heard some maids talking one day and I think there's more she isn't telling me."
"I can look into it when we get back," Aloom offered, "see how deep it actually goes?"
"Thank you." he sighed contently, then winced as the movement made his wound send out tendrils of pain across his ribs.
"Be careful." his friend said immediately, "I wasn't kidding about Nel's temper. She'll be pissed if you don't take care of yourself."
"She'll be fine. She knows the risks of battles like this."
"That doesn't matter, she'll still be pissed. You think she ever went easy on her family back home when they got hurt?"
"That was her family though. She loves them."
"And she loves you, al'ahmaq alnisyan." Aloom glared at him, "Why do you think she insisted on coming with you? And when you said no, she sent basically all of the medical supplies she could instead. Why do you think she fought with you so much, but never fought with anyone else? Not even Duncan and she has full reason to hate him! It's because she cares about you, loves you!"
Selethen blinked, trying to process the words. "That's…That's not possible. She doesn't love me."
" 'iinkarun! 'ayuha al'ahmaq aleanidu!" Aloom groaned, "Yes, she does! And you love her! Do I really have to spell it out for you?! Why do you think people hate her so much? Because they see how happy you two are! They hate that you could be that happy with an Araluen, because it proves that not all Araluens are bad! That we can trust them again!"
"...happy?" Selethen whispered, mostly to himself.
Aloom still heard him though, "Yes, happy! You two are annoyingly happy together! As you should be! You just don't think you can be because of the stupid treaty part of it all, but you are allowed to be happy, you know that, right?"
"I…"
Aloom sighed, rolling his eyes again, "We've known each other for so long Sel and I have seen you live for literally everybody else in your life. First it was your parents, then Atanyan and Yasmine, then the people of Al Shabah. For once in your life, would you please be selfish and live for yourself? Do whatever makes you happy? The world won't end if you do."
Selethen stared up at him, trying to form some sort of response. Aloom placed a hand on his shoulder gently, whispering, "It's ok to be happy and in love with your wife. If that is what you want, then you should be able to have that. Stop worrying about other people for five minutes and just worry about yourself, understand?"
Vaguely, Selethen knew he nodded, but Maajid came back at that moment, Nel's bag of medicine bursting in his hands and suddenly all he could think about was how much he hated getting stitches.
It was close to two weeks later when they finally made it back to Al Shabah. Selethen's wound was getting better every day and Aloom's words were still bouncing around his head.
Yusal and the few remaining bandits were in custody, which was the important part though. Umar had offered him a chance to surrender, but Yusal refused to take it until he saw that there were less than two dozen of his warriors left uninjured. Maajid and his apprentices helped the injured ones as best they could. As soon as they finished healing, they would be sent to Mararoc to join Yusal and the rest of their tribe. Selethen and Umar had already planned to split the reward evenly as soon as they were turned in. In fact, the Wakir spent a good chunk of time planning the trip to Mararoc in his head on the way back to Al Shabah.
Umar and his men didn't return with him, claiming a need to return to their home as soon as possible, which Selethen couldn't blame him for.
When they returned, there was cheering in the streets once word had spread of their victory. The bandits had been plaguing them for years and, with the war spreading faster than anyone thought, it felt good to bring home good news.
Selethen couldn't stop himself and looked for Nel in the crowd everywhere he could, his heart dropping when he couldn't find her. Aloom caught his frantic gaze, smirking before telling him to go home, that he'd take care of the crowd, the prisoners, all of it.
Selethen gave him a grateful smile before taking the stairs two or three at a time. He couldn't remember ever being so eager to see someone. Aloom was quite possibly the best friend he could have asked for. They hadn't discussed Nellie again since the medical tent, but somehow, he'd still understood.
However, their living room was empty when he entered. Her office door was open, but that was empty too. So was the bedroom. Where was she? Could she be at the hospital? It wouldn't surprise him, she was always work-
"Achoo!"
A grin stretched across his face and he started making his way down the hall, catching sight of an open door. What was she doing? Getting closer, he began to pick out her voice.
"-how you feel about your husband is much different than how you feel about the rest of your family. He's the one you fall in love with, who you share everything with, and, if you're really lucky, he'll be your best friend. That's what a husband is."
Selethen tried to stamp down pride at her description. Is that how she thought of him? More importantly, who was she talking to?
"Then why did Mama not tell us that?"
Was that Mesi? What were they doing in there?
"Well, that's something you'd have to ask her about, ok?"
Selethen stepped into the doorway, seeing Nel kneeling in front of his family portrait. Sands, he hadn't seen that thing in years. He almost didn't recognize it.
The two girls nodded, Samura catching sight of him over Nellie's shoulder. He smiled at her, raising a finger to his lips. She smiled back before stepping in front of Nellie, "Nellie? Do you like having a husband?"
What was that little girl up to?
"Surprisingly, yes I do. I didn't think I would, but I do."
His smile grew at that.
"What do you mean?"
"We didn't know each other very well when we met, so I was very nervous, but we're friends now. It just took some time." Nel answered, seemingly very confused, "Why do you ask?"
"Are you in love with him?"
"W-W-What?!" She seemed as caught off guard as he was, but he listened intently, wanting to see if she would answer, stifling the hope that burst forward in his chest.
"You just said that you and your husband were supposed to love each other, so do you?"
"Th-That is none of your business!"
'That's not a no.' Selethen thought, laughing at the scene, before Samura said something very similar.
"We can just ask him then! Hey, do you love Nellie?!" Mesi yelled, racing towards him.
"Mesi, she was about to answer!"
"Did you know he was there the whole time?!"
Mesi tugged on his sleeve, "Hey, you didn't answer, do you love her?"
Oh no, this was not how this was supposed to go. He just found out that he was in love, he wasn't about to let two little girls wrangle the truth out of him! The hope in his chest turned to panic and he knelt down, the denial on the tip of his tongue, when he glanced up at his wife. Her eyes were wide open, nervously waiting for his answer. Damn it, he couldn't do it. He couldn't lie to her.
But he also couldn't tell her. The words were stuck in his throat.
He couldn't tell the truth.
He couldn't lie.
"I-"
Nel's heart had stopped. Or it was beating so rapidly that she couldn't tell the individual beats apart. She really didn't know.
He wasn't answering.
Why wasn't he answering?
The realization hit her over the head. He didn't love her.
She knew that. He knew that. They had both admitted it to each other before this. It wasn't a surprise, but how do you explain that to two little girls who were asking about husbands and marriage? Two little girls that had just been told that marriage was all about love and friendship and closeness?
He didn't love her.
Why did that hurt so much? Why did her heart ache? Why did it feel like it was breaking, shattering? They had been happy together. That was all they needed, all she needed. Why was she disappointed? She hadn't hoped for anything more than what they'd had.
What did they do now?
A rapid knocking on the door saved them both.
"I'll get it!" Mesi yelled, running from the room.
"D-Don't open the door for strangers!" Nel called out after her.
"I'll go with her." Selethen said, quickly following her, now avoiding her gaze. Her heart clenched.
Nel turned to Samura who was wearing an innocent expression that didn't fool her for a minute, "We are going to have a very long talk later."
She shrugged before running out of the room. Nel heard her cry "Mama!" a moment later.
Nel took a deep breath, settling herself, and made her way to the living room where Mesi was busy filling them in on her whole day.
Zahra stopped her when she began detailing what they had for lunch, "Sounds like you had a lot of fun. Thanks again Nellie."
"It was no problem, really. I wasn't expecting you back until later though."
"Work day got cut short when everyone came back." Zahra told her, nodding towards Selethen, "Which reminds me, I ran into someone downstairs, they asked me to bring this up since I was headed this way."
She held out a sealed envelope. Selethen nodding his thanks before opening it.
"We'd better get going." Zahra said, "Say goodbye girls."
"Bye bye!"
"Thanks Nellie, bye!"
She waved goodbye, almost wishing that they hadn't rushed out so quickly, before turning to face her husband once the door snapped closed. He didn't seem to be bothered by what had just occurred, so Nel decided she wouldn't be either. The girls were gone, so this awkwardness could be gone now too. She'd just act normally, like it had never happened.
"What's that?"
"A message from the Emrikir." he answered, glaring at the page in his hands, "We've been invited to Mararoc to celebrate Nihayat Alhisad."
"Do you not want to go?" 'Act normally. He's avoiding it, you avoid it too. It never happened.'
"It's not that." he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, "He's just…getting involved where he shouldn't."
"What do you mean?" she asked. 'It never happened. Stop thinking about it.'
He shook his head and stuffed the paper in his pocket before pulling her close, "Don't worry about it. I'll talk to him in Mararoc and clear it up."
"Ok." she said, returning the hug and finally forcing her thoughts away from the storage room, "Welcome home."
He smiled, sending butterflies through her stomach again, "I must say, I was a little disappointed that you weren't there to greet me."
"I didn't know you were back."
"No one came to tell you when we entered the town?" he asked, looking confused.
She shrugged, "I guess it slipped their minds."
He frowned, clearly unhappy by that news. Nel decided to change the subject, "So what exactly is this…Niyat Allsad?"
"Nihayat Alhisad." he corrected with a laugh, "It's a yearly festival to celebrate the end of the harvest. Lasts all day and well into the night."
"We have something very similar in Araluen, but didn't the harvest end weeks ago?"
"Maybe in Araluen, but it's very different here. Our winter starts later and thanks to the heat, our season can last longer." he explained, "I'm not even sure winter is the proper word. Flash flood season might be a more accurate description. Instead of snow, we have massive rainstorms and all of the wadis become like fierce rivers, impossible to cross."
"Sounds…intense?"
"It can be." he smirked, "We'll have to leave in the next day or two to make it to the festival on time. It works out actually, we have to take Yusal to Mararoc anyway and-"
"B-But you just got back." she protested, accidentally cutting him off.
"Nellie, we were invited." he said pointedly, "You did want to come with, didn't you?"
A relieved smile broke out across her face.
"What do you say we start packing then?"
"You're still packed." she joked.
"Ok, then let's get you packed and we can get caught up?" he suggested with a playful smile.
She rolled her eyes, "Fine, but you're going first. Don't think I didn't notice those bandages when I hugged you."
He shrugged off her accusing gaze, tugging her into the bedroom, "Flesh wound, promise. Can't even feel it."
"You are a horrible liar."
"I'm actually a great liar. You wouldn't believe the things I've lied about."
"Are you lying to a doctor about a wound right now?" she crossed her arms and looked at him very pointedly.
"Ok, barely more than a flesh wound," he admitted with a sigh, "the man didn't know how to hold a sword properly and the stitches hurt worse than the cut."
"Stit-Seley el'then, tell me what happened right now!"
He winced at the proper use of his name, something she had never called him before. He gave her a nervous smile.
They didn't get much packing done, but he did get a long lecture on infections that could set in due to improper bandaging and care of stitches.
He did enjoy how she fussed over him though and insisted on changing his bandages right there. She dabbed a salve on his cut, blushing furiously and refusing to meet his gaze. So their reunion hadn't gone as planned, but he had to admit, being worried over was kind of nice.
Professor: Translations (according to Google Translate. If I get anything wrong, please let me know and I will come back and fix it):
"al'ahmaq alnisyan" means "oblivious blockhead" or "the oblivious idiot"
" 'iinkarun! 'ayuha al'ahmaq aleanidu!" means "Denial! You stubborn idiot!" or "Denial! You stubborn fool!"
"Nihayat Alhisad" means "the end of the harvest"
