Enrique
Bianca wasn't able to meet at the airport this time, apparently not in what most people would call the best shape to travel. My mother was sure to make it clear that she wasn't doing well at the moment, not that I understood the medical aspect of it. According to her there was a possibility that she would deliver early, which was what they were trying to prevent by keeping her on bed rest for the time being. To be quite frank she looked better this time around than she had the last time I saw her, apparently getting quite comfortable with being coddled by my families wait staff.
"How are you feeling?" I asked, touching a hand to her face gently.
She pat the spot next to her, signaling me to sit down and cuddling into my shoulder as soon as I did. Normally I would wrap an arm around her, but seeing her today, I couldn't help but be concerned if the weight she had put on around her middle would cut off my circulation.
"Better now that you're here."
"I haven't done anything."
"I'm just saying, I like having someone to talk to who isn't your little sister."
Unable to hold back a smile, I chuckled at the comment. Sophia did have a mouth that ran a mile a minute, not to mention I could see needing a break when your main entertainment is an eight year old who's conversations mostly revolve around how many loose teeth she currently has. Contrary to our current predicament, I had actually really enjoyed bringing a baby home when she was born, even if a lot of that may have been due to the fact that I was only nine.
"Sorry if she's been a pain."
"Actually, she's been helping me think of names, she also helped the painters with the nursery. It was quite sweet." Eyes lighting up in a sudden burst of energy, Bianca put a hand to my arm, giving a small squeeze of excitement before making an attempt to hop dramatically off the couch, instead plopping back down with a huff.
"What's got you so exhilarated all of a sudden?" I asked.
"I wanna show you the nursery."
Managing to get up this time, she took me by the hand, pulling me up and gripping me tightly as she excitedly dragged us outside into the back. Likely not yet used to being on bed rest, it seemed she was pushing herself a bit to hard in her determination, having to stop and catch her breath by the time we had even entered the gardens.
"We have electric carts if you want to just ride. I could call for someone."
"It's okay." She smiled. "I've been sitting for what feels like weeks, I like having a chance to be on my feet."
Although I tried keeping my eyes on hers while she spoke, I was caught off guard as her stomach made an unusual movement of pulling itself up and closer to her breasts before going back down to it's original position, looking as though an alien had taken over her body and was trying to get out and making me hope that whatever just happened would end better for us than it had in the movie.
"What was that…?" I asked less than enthusiastically.
"He did a somersault, it's normal." Holding my hand in the same way she had on my last visit, she touched my palm to her stomach, a warm smile filling her face as she looked at me. "You don't ever get to feel him move. I want him to at least have some idea of who his dad is before he gets here, you know? I don't think he knows your voice at all."
Her words caused a knot to form in my stomach as one of the small limbs brushing gently across my hands through the inside of her body. I didn't like anyone actually acknowledging me as a father… I was seventeen and it felt too adult. Not to mention I didn't want a different name that someone called me by, now was I very fond of people calling him my son, not yet anyway.
Finding the strength to get the rest of the way to my family's guest house, located just outside the gardens, I stumbled as Bianca pulled me in the hall before we were even able to take our shoes off, dragging me to what I recognized as the smallest room. I don't think it was really even meant to be a bedroom as I was pretty sure my father normally kept office supplies in there. Either way, she opened it, revealing what was actually an oddly minimalist look, not something that either of our families were known for. Stepping from the hardwood floor onto a rug that had been placed in the center, a pale blue that matched the freshly painted walls, I allowed my eyes to be drawn to the cream colored crib that sat directly under the open window where lace curtains blew in the outdoor breeze.
"Sorry," Bianca started. "I know it's a little chilly, but your father said the room hasn't been used in awhile so we've been having one of the maids air it out on nice days. Your parents bought a lot of the furniture for us, like the rocking chair and the changing table. She said the pictures they hung up are from when all of you were little; that they went from nursery to nursery. It's kind of funny, your mom is so no nonsense, it's hard imagining how she was with toddlers running around."
"Emanuele tried to drown me in the toilet once, so I can't exactly respond to that statement saying that we were adequately supervised."
"I wouldn't be pregnant if you were supervised." Bianca giggled. "She really does show her warmer side when she talks about all of you, though. She actually pulled pictures out once, I think you and your brother had just been born. You were wearing tags on your ankles so they could tell you apart."
Getting out a family album was a relatively rare occurrence in our household, although I knew what photo she was talking about. It was odd to think that my mother, given her opinion on me, would go out of her way like that. Even the art that she spoke of, a piece which hung over the changing table and another above a brand new very small dresser, were things I had forgotten about.
"I guess it's just weird to think she actually cares. You know, since I'm the family disappointment."
"Your parents love you, Enrique. I just don't think anyone expected you to be the one giving them their first grandchild…"
Without thinking about what I was doing, I put an arm around her shoulders and leaned close, kissing her temple as I continued to take in everything I saw in front of me. Childhood wasn't a memory I regularly went back to, and even though I couldn't remember back farther than maybe just before primary school, it still gave me an odd feeling just knowing I remembered any of it at all. Emanuele and I fighting over some sort of toy until he pulled my hair and I bit him, causing both of us to start crying; how close Antonio and I used to be when I was, in his words: "Still cute". Hell I even had memories of the rest of my team when our parents would discuss politics in the tea room and force us against our will to play, which usually ended in Robert hiding from us in a game of hide and seek he neglected to tell anyone we were playing, Johnny and his brothers breaking something and blaming it on me, or Oliver fake crying dramatically to his parents because no one wanted to have a tea party with him while decked out in my older sisters hair clips… Funny enough, by the time his little sister was big enough to be stuck with us he had moved on to making actual tea.
We were spoiled brats, but I don't think we ever claimed that we weren't.
"What are we supposed to do after the baby part?" I asked, eyes still wandering throughout the room.
"What do you mean?"
"Babies just sleep and suck on tits, what happens when it's bigger?"
"To be fair, that's not a lot different than you."
"I just mean… are things ever gonna be the same again?"
"Enrique..." She gave me a disappointed look. "I know you don't feel ready for this, but it's happening either way."
"I just mean I don't really… remember… ever having the type of family my mother is expecting us to have. None of our families- My friends I mean, ever had to stop living when we were born or growing up. How can they expect us to just put everything on hold? How are you so okay with just giving our lives up?"
She was biting at her lip, trying to stop the tears that had started forming in her eyes. Honestly it had been a concern of mine… how could I actually talk to her about any of this if her hormones were just going to make her cry at everything I said?
"Is this really the real you?" She asked after a brief silence.
"Is what?"
"I mean, you were so charming when we met. Holding doors open for me, kissing my hand whenever you dropped me off at the end of the day, planning elaborate date nights watching the stars or going out on the lake… You were such a natural romantic that when I found out I was pregnant I never even gave the idea of you not wanting a family a thought. You never do any of those things for me anymore. Hell, you seem disgusted at the idea of even touching me now."
"That's completely ridiculous, I just don't have as much time to be here. My parents want me staying in school so that I can pursue something within my families enterprises and help business opportunities, all that shit. They've been on my ass about earning their support, you know that."
"Do you know that in the two times you've been back, you've never made any attempt to have sex with me?"
"Of course I have."
"No, actually. You haven't touched me since before starting school. I used to not be able to keep you off of me."
I blushed slightly, not wanting to admit that she was right. I mean, she was wrong about me being disgusted, but I wasn't as physically attracted to her in her current condition. She had stretch marks, her hair had thinned out and she didn't go as out of her way to make herself presentable the further along she got. The last time I saw her she at least wore make up and dressed up for me, now she looked constantly tired and struggled to even stand up. Her stomach was absolutely huge, not that I minded women who were curvier. I had actually loved that Bianca had thighs and was heavy in the chest but now I just wondered what it would look like when the baby came out. Was it all just gonna deflate?
"Are you coming onto me?" I said with an awkward smirk, hoping that making light of the situation could make up for the fact that I had no idea how to respond.
"I want to know if there's someone else."
I froze.
I mean, technically speaking there wasn't. Rosetta had made her intentions quite clear, she had wanted to prove to herself that she could get me sure, she didn't actually want me, though. There were girls at school I had my eye on but it didn't mean anything; it's not like I had done anything with any of them and even if I did count what happened between Rosetta and I, it didn't actually qualify as me seeing anyone. It had only happened once.
I did cheat on her, though… and honestly, before now I'm not sure I had ever really taken the time to acknowledge that.
"There's no one else," I sighed.
"I just want you to have some sort of bond with the baby… I know he isn't here yet, but every single day I have to feel him grow and move and occasionally get the hiccups while I feel like I need to force you to even acknowledge he exists."
"I'm trying, but you're the one who's pregnant, I can only do so much."
Pausing for a moment, Bianca turned herself on her heels, taking a step forward toward the door.
"Come with me."
Silently, she exited the nursery with myself following behind her, not moving any farther than the bedroom next door. I wasn't sure what it was that she was doing as she took a seat on the mattress, laying with her upper back propped up on the support.
"What are you-"
"Come sit by me." She said. Obeying, I took the spot next to her, putting my arm out the way she normally liked when we cuddled together.
She didn't take it, though.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I want you to lay your head on me."
"So you want me to be the little spoon?"
"No, I want you to lay with your son."
Although I wasn't exactly sure what it was she was asking, I made an attempt to obey while wrapping an arm around her midsection. She positioned my head onto her stomach, which was hard… like, as a rock. Was it was supposed to sound like anything? I was pretty sure the noises I heard were Bianca's stomach growling. I could feel it kick her, though.
"It moves a lot." I mentioned.
"Yeah, usually when I'm trying to get comfortable. He falls asleep when I walk around but the second I sit he tries teaching himself to tap dance." Her hand brushed through my hair as she spoke, a feeling that was oddly calming. "I know this might not mean to you what it means to me… but we made that."
"You did the work, I just made a donation."
"Shut up." She gave a small giggle, causing a light vibration on my ear. "I think we should name him."
"I kinda just assumed you would do that part."
"There has to be a name you like, you shouldn't just be indifferent."
"Enrique Junior."
Her laughter got less sad and more playful as I teased her, taking a pillow to my face when I spoke.
"You can have the middle name." She chuckled. "Your family has enough repetitive names."
"Hold on now, I'm not named after anyone!" I got off of her belly, pulling her into my chest using a lot more strength than I was used to and having to stop and catch my breath. "If I were doing a repeat I would have suggested Gian, we have like eight of them."
"I want something more flashy."
"Like?"
"Matteo is one I was thinking about, I like Leonardo too."
"That's a Ninja Turtle."
"You're an idiot."
"Didn't stop you from letting me get you pregnant."
Honestly, it felt like months since we had last just laughed together. She'd come to take everything so seriously now and I'd be lying if I said it hadn't pushed me away. For the first time since we confirmed she was pregnant, even if it was only for a moment, I had Bianca back. I'm not sure if I can say with absolute certainty that I loved her; to be honest I was rather confident I didn't, but it was nice to once again see the girl I had grown to care about.
"I've missed this." She said quietly, laying her head on my chest. I wanted to respond that I agreed with her, but I didn't… instead staying silent. I wanted to have just another moment where everything felt the same as it did last Winter when I had propositioned her about being my girl. I hadn't done it for the right reasons, really I had wanted someone to come home to, to have fun with.
She had asked me to be her first that same night and I didn't give it the slightest thought before excitedly agreeing. I had never dated someone who hadn't already lost it and had become inpatient with the waiting, even if I never pressured her. I hadn't wanted her to be my girlfriend for sex, instead becoming attached to just how beautiful she was.
"I'm a really shitty boyfriend, huh?" I mumbled.
"Not when you're sober..."
"I'm sober now and I'm still pretty sure I'm doing a bad job." I wanted to prove in some way that I was willing to try, that my goal wasn't just to leave her on her own. "I like the name Luca..."
"Hm?"
"You texted me some names you liked awhile ago, before we even knew it was a boy. I know I should have said so back then and not just ignored you… but I liked Luca."
Bianca's smile didn't fade as I looked at her, head on a pillow and eyes holding onto the last bit of hope that maybe I wasn't going to fuck this entire thing up. Running her hand through my hair she pulled me into a kiss, a rather steamy one if I do say so myself, I was pretty sure she was using some of my own moves on me.
"My wallets in the house," I spoke through her parted lips. "I don't have a condom."
"Enrique, I'm already pregnant, it's a bit late for that."
We both had to stop in order to laugh, unable to contain ourselves even when undressing. Actually there were a few times we had to break apart in a fit of giggles while trying to figure out how the hell sex was supposed to work this time around. We couldn't find a position that wasn't awkward, Bianca unable to breath properly on her back or hold herself up very well. Every time something didn't work we ended up in another fit of hysterical laughter, only managing to figure it out when we had damn near run out of energy. It didn't last very long, but I think it made her happy; I wasn't sure when the last time I had done something just to make her happy was.
Now holding her under the bed covers, her bare skin warm against my own, I took in the sound of her huffing while she caught her breath, my lips pressed against her forehead. In what felt like the blink of an eye, everything had begun to sink in while her words from earlier replayed themselves in my head.
We made that…
"Bianca?" I said quietly.
"If you're about to ask for a second round you're gonna have to give me a minute."
"I want to tell you I'm sorry..."
She nuzzled her head to my chest and sighed deeply, likely taking in whether or not I meant anything I said. She couldn't seem to bring herself to forgive me though, saying only two words to acknowledge the apology I should have given her a long time ago.
"I know."
xxx
We had remained in bed together that night, which consisted of significantly more sleep for Bianca than it had for myself. She had most of the pillows and blankets shoved under her stomach, making some sort of little makeshift nest.
"Sorry," She apologized after waking. "It's been getting more and more uncomfortable lately, I'm honestly ready for him to just come out already, I'm sure he wouldn't mind the leg room and heaven knows I would love my organs to return to their normal positions."
"He's due pretty soon, huh?"
"December, so just another month and a half or so." She smiled at me. "I'm about 34 weeks now, I think."
"Do we need anything else?"
"I mean, he has a full wardrobe that's gonna take about three years to get through. Our mothers may have gone a little bit overboard."
Brushing my fingers through her hair, I rolled myself out of bed and back onto my feet, stretching myself out a bit before walking toward the bathroom.
"I'm gonna take a shower." I mumbled. "We should go back to the main house and have breakfast, you know how adults are about skipping meals."
"Would you mind helping me out of bed, first?"
A small smirk made its way to my face as I turned to look at her, currently moving like a turtle that was stuck on its back.
"I don't know, you make pretty good entertainment." I giggled, moving back to the bed and reaching a hand out just as she had begun running out of breath. Together we were able to get her to the edge of the mattress and nearly to her feet until she buckled down in pain, suddenly clenching her fists and taking extremely deep breaths which she would hold for several seconds at a time.
"Sorry." She mumbled through gritted teeth. "Just a small contraction."
"Do you have to go to the hospital?"
"No, it's normal when I'm this far along, especially when I've been laying down for awhile." Regulating herself, she got to her feet after what was maybe thirty or so seconds, brushing a small bead of sweat from her forehead. "My back is killing me."
"I can shower in the upstairs bathroom if you wanna lay in the tub for a bit."
"Can we just go back to the house? Your parents have been letting me use the Jacuzzi."
"Hey, I offered you the Jacuzzi before we knew you were pregnant and you told me no."
"You didn't offer it to me for pain, you offered to have sex in it."
"I'm just saying, easy clean up."
She gave me a playful smack on the back of the head, grabbing last nights clothing that she had insisted on leaving out on a chair so that she could reach it. Watching her get dressed was a fascinating experience if I say so myself, consisting of a lot of creative maneuvers with the help of the furniture.
"Your parents are going to be judgmental when we come in yesterdays clothes, you know."
"You're already pregnant, we can stop pretending we aren't having sex."
"If your mother and father have even half an ounce of common sense, they have never been under the impression that you aren't having sex."
Dressing myself quite a bit faster than she had, I took a moment to wrap an arm around her, kissing her cheek just as something that I think was a head brushed up on the palm of my hand. I still wasn't used to the movements her stomach made.
Hand in hand, we took the short walk back to the mansion, being greeted with little discussion regarding where we had been or what we had been up to. It seemed that my parents were starting to treat us like adults in a sense, that or they just didn't want to think about it.
"Enrique," My mother spoke after Bianca had gotten in the elevator and I had begun making myself a cup of coffee, my head was starting to really hurt, Rosetta may have had a point when she had joked about my alcohol intake. I honestly couldn't remember the last time I had been sober for this long.
"Hm?"
"Have you and Bianca spoken yet regarding your roll once this child is born?"
"What roll?"
"I want to know what sort of understanding you have when it comes to caring for an infant. No doubt you will be taking some time off of school, correct?"
I raised an eyebrow at her, sipping at my caffeine as the mug warmed my hands.
"I'm already taking time off right now, I'm not sure how realistic that would be."
"Our current best hope is that the delivery would happen during your winter break and to have you educated online or through private tutoring until the end of January. A newborn is a lot of work, he'll require care during the night as well, including waking up to feed during what will probably be every two to three hours."
"Bianca wants to breast feed, I mean I can give it the old college try but I don't think anything is gonna come out."
"I don't need any cheekiness from you right now."
I understood where she was coming from, but this was the exact reason I had planned on hiring a nanny. I was home now against my will and even though I was enjoying time with Bianca and growing accustomed to some of the changes, I still didn't want to be home from school. There was a New Years party I wanted to attend and friends who I wanted to get back to.
"We can hire someone to help Bianca, you said so yourself that I needed to focus better on school this year and increase my opportunities."
"And if you were focusing better on school, I may be singing a different tune, but as is you're hardly managing a C average and have several unaccounted absences."
"I got an B in French." I reminded her.
"Which would be a perfectly acceptable grade had you not been speaking it since you were eight. With the fluency you have, I actually find it rather disturbing."
I didn't dare tell her that Oliver corrected the grammar on most of my assignments and unintentionally verbalized part of an essay I was supposed to be writing, which I also didn't dare tell him.
"I can work harder, I want to stay in school."
"So are you admitting that you disregarded our last discussion and have in fact not been trying harder currently? To be completely honest Enrique, I'm remaining uncertain if I should even be sending you back once the week is over. With Bianca on bed rest she realistically could go into labor at any time."
"You can't just keep me here against my will!"
I was losing my patience as anxiety rushed through my body.
"So long as your underage, I can and will if the need be, I'm sick of you trying to weasel your way out of this."
"I'm not trying to get out of anything, I want to make this work and I'm doing the best I can. Why can't you ever just acknowledge that I'm trying?"
"Sometimes that isn't good enough, Enrique."
"I know, because nothing I do is ever good enough."
Throwing my mug in the sink, I walked out of the kitchen in anger. I didn't want to be around anyone anymore right now, instead going up to my own bedroom which I locked behind me.
I needed a drink…
