Deceit left Roman and Logic after the dishes were cleaned up. Despite wanting to stick around, it had been a while since he had fed his crabs. He walked in silence, lost in his thoughts. He followed a familiar path until he recognized a public statue. He knew the rest of the way from here.
This little area was full of tiny shops. He passed a winery and a flower shop, keeping his head down as he approached other people. It was a fusion and a Side; talking in the middle of the sidewalk.
"...so I can't be a tattoo artist." The fusion said, sounded terribly upset. "I'm so sorry!"
The side laughed, "It's okay, dude, just unfuse when it's showtime."
Janus stopped listening, having past the pair. He felt the cold wind seep through his jacket, and he wished he had one of his Sides here to keep him warm. The thought just made him feel colder.
By the time he got back home, he was exhausted with the weight of all the lies he had been holding back.
Logic, bless his heart, wants Janus to try to be honest. As an experiment, he said. A test. And so far, it was just massively annoying. Most of the time, Janus forgot he wasn't supposed to be lying. And the rest, Logic was watching him with sharp, calculated eyes.
It was interesting, a little exciting, but draining nonetheless. Deceit stretched his shoulders as he walked up to Frank's doorstep. He groaned as he did so, imagining strong hands pressing his knots away.
He made his way inside to hear the TV on in the livingroom. Frank was quiet, not reacting to Deceit's arrival. He must've fallen asleep. Deceit thanked his luck and snuck down to his basement room.
"Darlings!" He told the crabs as he walked up to their tank. He fed them both before flopping onto his bed. "It's so easy being me."
He felt his chest untighten slightly at the small lie, and he felt his lips move again. "I love being treated like a burden. Or a test subject. Maybe that one's alright, I'm not sure yet. We'll see."
Rose clacked at him.
"No, it's not fun, but it keeps Logic's eyes on me." Deceit said, kicking off his shoes and getting more comfy in bed. "Roman's being…"
Janus hesitated, staring at the ceiling, "Typical. But I think I can change his perspective easily enough."
Sasha blinked at him before sitting down and retreating into her shell. Janus shorted at her and muttered, "Yeah, he better hide."
It was quiet for a couple moments as Janus stared at the grey ceiling. He knew he was tired, but his mind grew restless. His fingers itched and soon enough, he was up pacing.
"How am I supposed to become Established if my Sides keep rejecting me upon learning who I am?" Janus asked the crabs. "Patton was a goody-goody, fine. But Roman? He's an actor! How is lying any different?"
Janus swallowed around the sudden tightness in his throat. "What about the last guy?"
He looked at himself in his mirror; focusing on the scars that stretched across his cheek. Even if he had Logic on his side, that was still three against two. Oh, yeah, this will be super easy.
Janus paced faster. About that last guy. Where could he be? Anywhere in the world, really. But if the rest of them were here, in Florida; well, maybe luck was in their favor. Maybe mystery man number five was out there, roaming these Disney-soaked streets.
"Focus on one problem at a time, dummy." Janus told himself, turning away from his mirror. He watched the crabs as he thought about Roman and Patton. How could he convince them he was worth keeping around?
The door at the top of the stairs suddenly flung open and a light waved back and forth. Frank shouted, "Who's down there?!"
"It's me!" Janus said, stepping closer as Frank walked down the steps. He squinted at Janus before turning off his flashlight.
"Where have you been, boy?" He asked, squeezing Janus' shoulder. Janus watched him scan over his clothes. They were mostly borrowed from Logic; wrinkle-less and cut perfectly. Nothing like the all-black arsenal Janus had. Janus avoided eye contact.
He shrugged, "At a friend's."
"Thought you split for good that time." Frank grumbled as he turned around and headed back up the stairs. "You ever hear of a note? You leave 'em on the counter."
Janus sighed and replied, "Sorry, Uncle Frank."
When the older man had made it halfway up the stairs, Janus got an idea. He bounded up after him and asked, "Hey, Frank? Can you tell me about your Sides?"
"My what?" Frank looked over his shoulder, before realizing what Janus meant. He nodded after saying, "Oh! Those guys! Yeah."
Janus followed him into the kitchen, where Frank grabbed a beer. He chattered as he settled in a chair. "Have you eaten? Grab something, kid, you're too scrawny."
Reluctantly, Janus looked through Frank's fridge. He found a jar of jelly and figured toast was easy enough. He asked Frank, "So, did you ever have Sides that didn't like each other?"
Frank took a sip of his beer and nodded. "My loyalty had issues with my trauma."
"Yeah?" Janus asked, genuinely interested for once. He put bread in the toaster and grabbed a knife. "Why was that?"
"Well, back in the olden days," Frank said, sitting back in his chair. "They didn't ask if you wanted to go to war. They just took ya."
Janus stepped closer, watching as Frank's eyes grew distant.
"I remember the day John was drafted. He was eating breakfast, and there was a knock at the door." Frank said sadly. "They told his mom, he was chosen to be a part of the greatest war. An' they took him away."
Janus asked, gaining his attention, "Was it just bad luck, that Trauma was chosen?"
Frank frowned, before shaking his head. "It was my loyalty that they came after. They fed him full of talk about how we were needed overseas. How we were helping people and we were heros."
"Loyalty." Janus repeated, surprised.
"They took all kinds of people like that." Frank nodded, "They look for certain types, you know? Your loyalty, your pride, your wrath, or your greed."
The toaster popped and Janus jumped. He ignored Frank laughing at him as he turned around and spread jelly on his toast. Frank continued, unprompted.
"Well, John was one of the lucky ones. There were a lot of people who lost a part of themselves in that war." Frank said slowly, staring at a spot on the wall. "A lot of people who never became Established."
A shiver ran down Janus' spine as he imagined Addiction from the bar. Was she one of the ones whose Side died while at war? He knew there was a lower number of Established people than usual, but he didn't realize it was because of a draft.
"And Will, he hated John because of it." Frank said, scoffing in amusement. "I gotta tell ya, those two were like cat an' mouse. Will had nightmares and flashbacks because of the things John experienced. You couldn't get them to fuse."
"Will is PTSD." Janus mumbled, completely forgetting that such a Side existed. "Oh my god."
Frank shrugged, taking another drink of his beer. "A lot of kids in my classes growing up were named something like that. P-T-S-D or Trauma or Sissy. That's how we knew something bad was gonna happen."
"Fortune telling through birth trends, huh." Janus glanced away, picking up his toast. "I like it."
He took a bite of his snack while Frank continued his story, "Will and John were always at each other's throats, but you knew they'd take a bullet for the other. They eventually just stopped hating each other."
Janus tried to hold back his groan. "Helpful."
He couldn't rely on 'eventually's. He needed them to like him, definitively. His Establishment was on the line. Being Established was his only chance at a future.
"It was a little easier when they got a military assigned nurse. She talked with them about their thoughts and emotions." Frank said, gesturing vaguely as he talked.
"You mean a therapist?" Janus asked.
"No, she was a military assigned nurse! She listened to my thoughts."
Janus snorted into his toast, "Okay, Boomer."
Frank shook his head, "Where was I? Oh, yeah, she helped the two of 'em put their differences aside enough to become Established."
Janus stood quietly for a few moments, chewing. He couldn't afford a therapist. And it's not like he could convince Patton to come with him and Roman to visit one. None of this was helpful for him, and he wasn't sure how to best move forward with his Sides.
Logic seemed satisfied taking notes on his breathing and heart rate. But two Sides didn't make an Established person. What would appeal to Roman?
He seemed like the type who'd want to be wined and dined; like Patton. And he already knows Janus is a liar, so there's no way it could go wrong a second time!
"Why'd you ask, anyway? You never cared about my pasts before." Frank asked.
"I've always cared." Janus said, walking past Frank. He pressed a hand to his shoulder as he passed, heading towards his room. "I'm just shy."
Frank snorted in disbelief before grunting, "G'night, then." Janus heard him mutter, quieter, "Little weirdo."
Janus took the stairs two at a time before jumping into his desk chair. He pulled out a scrap of paper and a pen. He muttered to himself, "Okay, Janus, learn from the brain cells."
He wrote Roman's name on top of the paper.
"Make a list."
Tell me what you think!
