AN: Here's the next chapter :)
We left off with Jake being a good boy and posing for some baseball photos and Bella and Edward enjoying dinner together.
Chapter 34
BPOV
In the morning I was rushing to get to the office on time. I had slept later than I normally would, I still had to walk Jake and get ready, so I was running slightly behind.
But I didn't want to be late to Edward's especially not after he'd been so kind to me yesterday.
He'd really helped me in the car.
When he'd grabbed my hand I had relaxed immediately and he'd kept me occupied with his chatter and kept my mind focussed on the here and now, instead of what had happened a few days ago. It had helped enormously. And I was immensely grateful that he'd offered to drive with me this morning, so I could test myself before having to go the entire way alone.
I grabbed Jake's leash and quickly headed out with him, when the elevator doors opened I immediately spotted the press pressing up against the windows, waiting for me. I cursed under my breath, but sucked it up and headde outside, thanking the doorman for opening teh door and pushing the most obnoxious paps out of the way.
Thankfully they were weary enough of Jake to keep at a distance, so I wasn't being bombared by them too much. I kept my head down and ignored them like any other day and started walking.
To my surprise they started following me, they hadn't done that in a long time. Normally they just snapped their pictures and went on their way. But now they came as close as they dared and started asking me questions. questions I hadn't heard in a while. Personal questions. I wasn't sure why they were suddenly back on this track again.
But then I heard the dreaded question: 'Are you involved with one of your players?'
They continued.
'is it true you base you're hiring based on nepotism?'
'How long have you and Edward Cullen been dating?'
My blood froze in my veins, and Jake sensing my sudden change didn't hesitate. He lashed out visciously at the press. His hackles raised and he stepped menacingly in front of me, warning them all to back off with his frightening deep growl.
They immediately backed off, some letting out very undignified yelps of fear.
I couldn't stop the grin that formed on my face. 'Come on, Jake.' I ordered when the shock had subsided slightly, I turned around and cut his walk short. I needed to get out of here.
The press didn't dare follow, because Jake kept upt a steady stream of growls and barks in warning. There was no trace of the gentle giant right now and that's why I loved him.
I quickly headed back inside my building and when I entered my apartment I immediately pulled up the news on my ipad. smoething had to have been published for them to suddenly be asking these types of questions.
My mouth dropped open in horror as the front page loaded.
It seems I had made headlines.
SWAN HEIR and PLAYER caught in the locker room after hours!
ISABELLA SWAN involved with her club's player EDWARD CULLEN
SECRET love affair exposed
SWAN already cosying up with the inlaws?
The accompanying pictures were grainy and seemed to be taken with a long distance lens or a cell phone or something. There was a picture of me talking with Carlisle and Esme at the car yesterday and one of me hugging Esme.
There was a picture of Edward and I walking the dogs yesterday evening smiling at each other.
But the ones that shocked me most were the last two pictures: Me coming out of the lockerroom with a red face, and Edward and I walking down the hallway our hands entwined and smiles on both our faces.
This was bad. This was really bad.
This was everything Leah had warned me about and then some. I couldn't believe this was happening. But what I couldn't believe even ore was how these pictures could have been taken in the first place.
I growled and grabbed my phone and dialled Leah.
She answered on the first ring. 'What the fuck.' I hissed down the line.
'Bella.' She sighed.
'What the fuck, Leah.' I said angrily. She was my pr person. She should have seen this coming. Or at least warned me.
'I know.' She sounded unhappy. At least that was something. 'I don't know how they were able to publish this, this fast. I didn't know until this morning. I've been on the phone all morning trying to get them all taken down. I think I can get them to leave Carlisle and Esme alone, that's just pure conjuncture and speculation. The nepotism stories too because that is just a libel suit waiting to happen. But I'm afraid I won't be able to stop the romance rumors… not anymore. Not with pictures like these.'
'So there's nothing we can do?'
'I warned you to not be seen together' she reminded me gently.
'I know.' I said in a small voice. 'It's just... He offered to drive with me to make sure I was alright and I offered to make him dinner as thanks. I didn't think about all of this… I just wanted to do something nice and normal… you know?' my voice grew soft. I knew I couldn't be normal.
I could never just be normal. It was a pipe dream and I should just let it go. It wasn't fair to drag everyone into this mess.
'I know Bella. I know.' She sighed. 'I'll call Edward and give him instructions on what to do. I suggest you stay home today and lie low. I will do as much damage control as I possibly can today and then tomorrow we'll see where we stand alright?'
'Okay.' I muttered and pressed the end call button.
My heart felt like stone in my chest. I sank to the floor and cried.
And cried.
And cried.
I cried for the loss of that fleeting sense of normalcy that had crept into my life through my friendships.
I cried for the loss of all these people I had let into my life who didn't deserve to be going through this.
But most of all I cried for myself. For the invasion of my privacy, and the abolute powerlessness I felt.
I spent a long time on the kitchen floor, curled up in a ball, crying my eyes out with Jake next to me, giving me his comfort like only a dog could. I had no intention of moving really, but my phone had been ringing pretty much incessantly for at least five minutes now. I sniffed and roughly wiped at my eyes as I patted along the counter to find my phone.
I cleared my throat before answering. 'Hello?'
'Bella, dear.' Esme's warm voice filtered down the line, and without any prompting another round of sobs burst from my lips. 'Oh my dear.'
'I'm sorry' I brought out in between sobs.
'No, darling. Don't you apologize. You don't have anything to apologize for. You have every right to be upset.' Her tone was hard. I had never heard Esme be anything else than kind. 'those asholes are the ones to blame here, not you dear. I'm coming over.'
'No, I couldn't ask-' she didn't even let me finish.
'Darling, there's no way I'm letting you be alone right now. Don't worry about the press. I can handle them.'
She told me she'd be there in a few minutes, which made me realize she'd actually been calling me from the road. I pulled myself up from the ground and headed into the bathroom to wash my face, which was a red splotchy mess, and blow my nose.
By the time I was done the doorbell rang. I quickly told the doorman to let Esme up and within a few moments she was inside and I was in her arms.
She held me tightly and rocked us both as another round of sobs broke out.
'Oh my dear girl.' She whispered as she stroked my hair soothingly.
'It's not fair.' I hicupped.
'it really isn't. You've had to endure so much already.'
'I just wanted to do something normal.' I whispered. 'I wanted to thank him for driving with me by cooking dinner.'
'I know, dear.' She continued hugging me tightly, letting me get it all out of my system.
'why can't I just be normal?'
She pulled back and held me at arms length, wiping the hair from my face and the tears from my cheeks.
'Now you listen to me, Bella. You are a remarkable young woman. You are amazing. You are brave and strong and so smart. I can't tell you that you should be normal, because you're simply so much more than that. Darling, you are extraordinary. Nothing you ever do will make you normal. But you do deserve privacy, and what was done to you was a violation of that privacy. Not just these photo's but the car incident as well. but don't cry about not being normal, dear. That's not something you have to cry about.'
I nodded. My heart warmed at her kind words.
'Now, let's get you on the couch, nice and warm and comfortable with a blanket and I'll make us some tea.'
Again I nodded as Esme led me over to the couch, she settled me on the couch and wrapped my fluffy blanket tightly around me. Then she headed into the kitchen. When she returned she had two cups of steaming tea in her hands and she joined me on the couch.
We talked for hours, I cried for what felt like hours too, but Esme didn't mind. She simply dried my tears and said all the words I really needed to hear. She didn't make me feel stupid for crying like this. In fact she even encouraged me to let it all out.
'How long have you been holding all of this in, dear girl?' she asked after another fit of sobs.
I shrugged, not quite able to meet her eyes.
'There's nothing wrong with crying. Sometimes you really need it. I cry too. Especially when someone hurts me.'
'Thank you for being here, Esme.' I told her when I'd calmed down again.
'You never have to thank me for that, dear.' She smiled kindly at me. 'Now, you must be hungry by now. We haven't eaten, yet. I'll go make us some food.'
'I'll help' I said, making moves to get up. She put her hand out and shook her head.
'Just stay here, dear. Let Mom treat you.' she said as she bent down and kissed my forehead.
New tears rolled down my cheeks without my conscious knowledge.
Mom.
How I'd missed having a mom. And here Esme was filling her shoes, filling that empty space in my life and my heart with such ease and without ever making me forget my own mother or trying to take her place.
As Esme started puttering about in the kitchen I checked my phone for the first time in hours. There were several messages from Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett and Edward.
I opened Rosalie's first. She was worried about me and had invited me over for dinner. I quickly shot her a text I was okay, that Esme was here and that she was making me dinner.
Emmett's was more angry towards the press. He offered to hunt them down for me. I told him I was okay and that that wasn't necessary, though I appreciated the sentiment and definitely shared it.
Alice and Jasper were more in tune, both asking if I was alright and if I needed anything. I answered them both with a thank you and that I was fine.
I saved Edward's for last. He also sent the most messages. There were five of them. The first one from early this morning. Then one about an hour later, followed by one at noon. Then one at two and finally one at four.
His messages were apologetic. He was taking the blame for all of it. the tone grew more desperate as the messages went on. He was really blaming himself over this and it hurt to see that. I didn't want him to feel like that. I didn't want him to regret our evening. I'd had a good time. sure this sucked, and I didn't like it. but I'd had a really nice time with him. I didn't want him to regret it or distance himself from me.
without thinking I pressed the call button. His reply was instant. 'Bella.' His voice was rough and scratched. 'I'm so sorry.' he said immediately. 'I didn't mean for this to happen, you have to know that. I should have been more careful… I just… I'm so fucking sorry.'
'Edward.' I said softly, my throat closing as tears threatened to spill.
'I'm so sorry.' he repeated. 'This is everything you didn't want. What can I do? what can I do to make it better?'
'stop apologizing, I'm okay, Edward.' I finally managed to mutter. It was silent for a beat.
'Are you sure?' he asked hesitantly.
'I wasn't at first. And I still hate that they did this. I mean I really feel violated in so many ways. But Esme came over… and she's been amazing.'
He let out a big breath. 'that's good. I'm glad she's there for you. I wish…' he cut himself off, clearing his throat. 'I'm sorry, Bella.'
'Please stop apologizing.' I said again.
'but it feels like it's my fault. Leah warned me to not be seen with you, and I just completely forgot to be careful.'
'She warned me about it too, so if you're at fault than I am too.'
'No! no you're not to blame for any of this Bella.' He protested vehemently.
'then you aren't either.' I told him sternly.
'alright. I'll stop apologizing.' he finally conceded.
'good.'
'Is there anything I can do? Leah told me that she's going to do some damage control. She ordered me not to be seen anywhere else but at practice the coming week and to keep my mouth shut.'
'You won't be at tuesday dinner?' I asked before I could stop myself.
He hesitated for a moment. 'Only if it's alright with you.'
'I don't want to keep you from your friends.' I said quietly.
I wanted nothing more than to tell him I wanted to see him too. But I was scraed to admit that out loud. To myself and to him. It wasn't until last night that I realized how far he'd wormed his way into my heart. I cared for him I realized. But I was afraid of what that might bring.
'So you wouldn't mind?' he asked.
'No, of course not.' I said softly.
'Alright. then I'll be there.' he said quietly.
'thank you.' I whispered.
'what on earth are you thanking me for?' he asked surprised.
'for being concerned… for lending me your mother.'
He gave a small laugh. 'I couldn't stop her if I tried. She cares about you Bella.' He said softly. Then a pause. 'I care about you.' he finished quietly.
I closed my eyes. Those words… they hit me harder than I'd ever thought possible.
But I couldn't get my mouth to work. The silence stretched on for a moment until Esme came into the room.
'Bella?' she asked. 'Are you alright dear?'
I cleared my throat. 'Yes, sorry. I'm fine.' I told her.
'Are you almost done with your phone call? Dinner is almost ready.'
'Okay, thank you.' I nodded. She smiled and returned to the kitchen. Jake following in her wake, probably smelling the food and hoping to sneak a bite somewhere.
'Esme is cooking you dinner?' Edward asked.
'yeah.'
'I'm jealous.' He said with a slight chuckle, trying probably to lighten the conversation.
'She's amazing.' I said with a smile. 'you're lucky to have her.'
'I know.' He said with conviction. 'I thank my lucky stars every day that she and Carlisle took me in. I can't imagine two better people, nor can I imagine a better person to take care of you today.'
'thank you.'
'Bella.' He groaned. 'I told you to stop thanking me.'
I couldn't help the small giggle that broke through my lips. 'sorry.'
'apologzing isn't much better.' He groused. But I could hear the smile in his voice. 'I'll let you go, enjoy your dinner. I hope she cooked something good for you. you deserve it.'
'I'll speak to you soon?' I asked.
'yes.' He said after a short pause. 'I'll talk to you soon.' He promised. We hung up and I was glad I'd called him.
My heart felt lighter as I got up from my cosy nest and joined Esme at the dinner table to enjoy a lovely meal as we continued talking until late at night. And I felt my heart heal just a little more.
